Posts Tagged ‘stuck’


September 14, 2012

Willie Nelson sings about life going from one crazy thing to another in his lyrics “last thing I needed first thing this morning was to have you walk out on me.” Welcome to what my world – was.

It started innocently a few months ago with my cat waking me up daily at 4:45 AM to go out. I couldn’t get back to sleep, didn’t stop to take naps, and stayed up until midnight. Too many activities and long days fried my adrenals, and I had to take a couple of weeks off from work. With my energy at its lowest and pain from a jammed hip bone at its highest, I received shocking news about a friend that left me reeling.

Because of my exhaustion I was more susceptible to things affecting me, and the downward spiral began. My computer broke. I ordered a new PC only to learn most of my address book had to be manually replaced – this saga continued for five weeks. My AC stopped working in 100° weather. Meantime, my cell phone went awry, and I missed a group coaching call. My headset, mouse and income went kaput, and even my toilet clogged. To say working was a challenge is an understatement.

I kept positive by going to sleep and waking up focused on gratitude and journaled about what was working. However, during the day, I thought about what wasn’t working.

I felt sad resignation as I listened almost imperceptibly to my deceased mother’s mantra “if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” An old program of what-else-can-go-wrong ran in the background.

After a while I lost interest in bouncing back and thought I’d ride it out to the bottom.


Imagine going to work wearing a great pair of shoes and tie or handbag… dressed in shabby pajamas. Likewise, I thought I was upbeat because I gave verbiage to being positive and practiced gratitude in the morning and night. However, my beat up attitude was running like a computer program in the background.

Sandwiched throughout the day between my positive focus, I visualized and felt what I didn’t want – what next? I used my attention and depleted energy to spin around what was wrong instead of what I chose to happen. So, I created more problems.

God was neither punishing or ignoring me. Life didn’t have it in for me. There wasn’t a metaphoric lesson or karma catching up. I wasn’t cursed, and Satan wasn’t interfering. I wasn’t doing anything wrong that needed a pause to redirect. I was enough and doing enough, and I wasn’t doomed for failure. I wasn’t doing any of the gazillion conclusions people erroneously come to when they wonder why is this happening to me. Why aren’t things working?

No outside force was responsible for my life. I created results from my attitude and attention. The universe energetically matched my thoughts and feelings.

Energy flows where attention goes. What else can go wrong? My prayers were answered. The universe replied with new calamities.

Visualizing isn’t just what happens during a visualization exercise. It includes predominant feelings and thoughts during the day.

You, too, create more of what you focus on and can make new choices. You can do it without owies from beating yourself up or building a case to support the stories you tell about your life.


  1. Ask your inner powerhouse, your soul energy, to empower you.
  2. Visualize with feeling what you choose throughout the day.
  3. Take one step at a time.
  4. Find and implement ways to rest and take care of yourself instead of tolerating fatigue.
  5. Talk with supportive people. Masterminding your goals and dreams empowers you and refocuses your vision.

Remember, the fastest way out of a hole is to stop digging it. No matter what’s going on, it’s not going to last forever. This too shall pass.

Now it’s your turn. What are your predominant thoughts and feelings throughout the day? Any old programs running in the background? How about dumping those pjs?



May 8, 2011

The top two tactics used by repressive regimes like China are to withhold information, which is harder to do with the internet, and stop people from expressing themselves. 

What about your expression? 

As tempting as it might be to tell your boss, clients, family or friends that they’re idiots in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, it may not be wise. There are times to speak up and times to put things in perspective. 

However, if they cross the line by treating you like yesterday’s trash, then it’s time to express yourself… with as much grace and ease as possible. 

When the pain of withholding is greater than the pain of dealing with a situation, it’s time to express yourself.

This awakening is now happening in the Middle East as expressed on a YouTube video Syria: stand with the protesters.  “They will not be butchered into silence and submission.” 

They have chosen to live their own lives. The consequences of remaining silent surpassed the cost of speaking up. Many are paying a high price for the freedom to express.

I learned this lesson while existing in “a living hell.”

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For the longest time I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

It took me a while to realize I lived with a master manipulator. He knew my vulnerabilities and used them to intimidate and emotionally undermine me while bending me to his will. 

I was bullied to let go of my business and with it financial freedom. He listened in on my phone conversations. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

The stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t even able to speak my words in the right order or have physical energy to move. Enabling this was a belief there was something wrong with me.

Human traffickers and terrorists use similar tactics. Intimidate with threats and play on low self-esteem to create a lack of confidence and dread. Immobilize people through fear of what might happen. 

My unhappiness induced me to question and think.  

There was his reality, but was it true? 

How did I get here? I made a bad choice which put me on a sorrowful path. Regardless of good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away. Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority. Even at risk of losing worldly goods. 

Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a mistake. Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up TO MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient “silence and submission.”

When I got honest with me, changes occurred which made my exit easy. I was packed and gone in three weeks. 

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

How can you access your truth? It’s always within you.  

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Call forth your soul. It’s not complicated to do. It’s another aspect of you!
  3. Request clear communication.
  4. Ask questions, such as: 
  • Why are things happening in my life this way?
  • What’s the truth about a situation?
  • What’s the best direction for me to focus on now?
  • What action is best to take?

Write or draw your answers. Journaling is a useful tool to speak out and let you know what’s happening within. 

If you need more clarity, ask again. If it doesn’t come in that moment, it will be made known to you at a better time.

 Ready to make your life easier?

  • Choose to learn your lessons GENTLY.
  • Choose to make changes with ease and grace.
  • Choose to take action on your inner guidance.

 The more you speak up, the more you’ll live your life on your terms. 

In Part Two, you’ll learn 7 steps to LIVE your life and 5 ways to stop giving your power away.


April 29, 2011

 When something went wrong, my old response was to gasp and think: “Oh no. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.” I’d repeat it again and again – but I didn’t even realize I was saying it.

 Next came the sickish anxiety in my gut. Fear clutched me like tentacles from a sci-fi film. Solutions had no way to penetrate that thick gunk of worry.

 One afternoon, I discovered that I went over a credit card limit that day. All I could think about were the fees, marks on my credit report and a higher interest rate.

 I noticed a broken record playing in my head. What was it? “What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”

 Funny how that mantra sounded like my mother!

 When I heard it, I changed my tune.

 I said to myself, “There’s a part of me that doesn’t have a clue about what to do. There’s another part that knows. I ask my wise self to pop in an answer.”

I Got What I Asked For

 After my request, I relaxed, let the situation go, and left for an appointment. As I walked to my car after my meeting, an idea popped in my head. Drive straight to the bank and pay the overage before the end of the business day.

 When I did and the bank heard my concern, they also extended my credit limit. Problem solved; benefits gained.

 Learning to relax and trust that all will be taken care of, no matter what, helps to wash away the goo of confusion. After all, if God takes care of the flowers and birds, surely you and I rate, too. But what about getting answers?

 A theme found in several Biblical references offers age old wisdom. Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Put These Together.  Don’t Worry. Ask for Help.

 Now, when I need answers, I place a simple request: POP IT IN.

 For example, I’m writing and get stuck. What I used to do was:

  • Whine: You know the mantra.
  • Worry: “What if I don’t get an answer?”
  • Get angry and complain: “I don’t have time for this.”
  • Feel like a helpless victim: “Why is this happening to me?”

 Now, I ask inwardly for help: “I need a headline. POP IT IN.”

 The answer comes – either immediately or after it incubates for a while.

 Prayers are always answered in divine right timing, Therefore, I let the concern go and do something else. This takes care of the seeking and knocking.

 Taking action refocuses me. It helps me to detach from fixating on results and when they should arrive.

 Easy. Simple. Clear.

Only Supportive Ideas Are Welcome.

 By the way, if an unsupportive idea pops in your head, pop it out. It’s your head, so claim dominion of it. Don’t give your power away to negative thinking. You have the power to pop in or out what goes in it.

 When those supportive ideas pop in, even if they’re a little outside-the-box, act on them. This is a key.

 Remember, everything is given according to your belief. If you allow the possibility, this really works.

 I invite you to experiment. Need answers? Relax and ask inwardly to “POP IT IN!”


July 1, 2010

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP #1: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.