This Stops You From Getting What You Want

“Sacred Cow: an idea, custom, or institution held, especially unreasonably, to be above criticism (with reference to the Hindus’ respect for the cow as a sacred animal).” from Bing Historically for Hindus, cows provided food, fuel, disinfectant and fertilizer. In other words, cows were needed for survival. Eating the cow for meat works for the moment, but there goes the source of milk, dried cow dung for fuel, fertilizer and more. How can leaders communicate to the masses not to kill their cows? Make them sacred. Make killing them taboo. Likewise, we have beliefs that made sense once upon a time, like telling children not to talk with strangers. However, especially if you’re in business or working with the public as an adult where talking with new people is essential, this pattern can thwart your success. In humble prayer: God, I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Except see that one little thing? Not that. Otherwise, anything. God replies: Focusing on that one thing is the only thing I ask of you now. That which is so sacred to you, that idea or belief that you don’t want to consider, can be the one thing that stops you from getting what you want. It’s usually some way you’ve always done things, the way you’ve always thought or felt – even if it doesn’t work or makes you feel unhappy. What if you based your thinking on a few faulty or limited premises? Don’t you go asking me about my mama. Although therein can lie the key to your self-esteem and ability to set boundaries. That’s sacred cow/ sacred belief territory. Back off. However, those who have the courage to look can find freedom. Those type of entrenched neural pathways in your brain can make you feel that you have to chew on distressing thoughts  – that’s just a habit to keep you spinning in circles. The ego wants to figure things out, and in doing so, you can stay stuck for years wanting to understand and know why… because it’s so complicated. That habit of thinking is a trap, like the Sirens calling the boats to shore so they’ll crash. Do what Odysseus did for his crew. Put metaphoric wax in your ears. Restrain yourself from the addictive pull of the way you usually think; it’s easier to do when you refocus your attention on happier things. Maybe the lesson to be learned is to let go and take your life back. Beliefs are only thoughts you repeatedly think. You HAVE the power to think other thoughts. Choose to stop letting others and circumstances control what goes on in your head and influence how you feel. My church tells me such-and-such, so I can’t consider anything else. Every week as part of the religious service when I was a kid, I thrice hit my heart with my fist as I spoke aloud three times: “Lord, I’m not worthy.” Talk about pounding a (false) belief into the body. In my family we always follow tradition. So a man became a lawyer even though his heart wasn’t in it, he wanted to be in another profession, felt miserable – and his wallet reflected it. When companies go through changes, they often challenge the way things have always been done – the sacred cows of their culture or systems. What beliefs do you hold so dearly that they’re beyond criticism, beyond your examination that they might not be true? Your sacred cow beliefs may be the very ones holding you back from getting what you want – happiness, more money and success, better relationships, health and business. Summon the courage to look. Journal about it. You can live your dreams, be happy, be richly compensated doing what you love, and invest in yourself instead of taking care of everyone else. What a concept. Why not be happy? Only your sacred cow beliefs will tell you a limiting answer because your essence only chooses for you to be free and enjoy life. P.S. If you feel this sacred cow message might be moo-sic to someone’s ears, please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love. Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp. Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them. Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness. Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan. Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear. However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear. Fear is only a scary story in your head. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything.  When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories. FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real. The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear. However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you. When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells. How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future? Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now. If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom. Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back. You can begin now: Be willing to let go. Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly. Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go. Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations. When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back. If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another. If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.) No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it. Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success. A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance. You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living. You can change now. Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working. Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves. You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love. Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Be honest. You want this more than anything.

Let’s cut to the chase. Regardless if you wrote New Year’s resolutions or goals for this year, you know one thing. Parts of your life work and others not so much. You probably grumble about what you don’t like, either a little or you’re running a full-length movie. Why do you feel this way? Because you don’t feel good that some things are the way they are. I know this is simple. However, it provides a BIG clue to what you want more than anything. First, let’s look at some basics you might enjoy improving: Better health – You’re so done with those niggly or essential health issues and emotional stresses that you’ve been tolerating. Higher quality relationships – Enough with people who are your fill-in-the-blank pet peeve. Bring on the love. Increased financial success – You’re tired of the worry or limitations from not having the cha-ching to enjoy whatever you choose in life. Or you’re afraid of losing what you have. Fulfilling career/ business/ doing what you love – It’s high time for your creativity to shine more brightly and for you to revel in what you do – or discover what that is. Positive growth in all ways – Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual: you’re ready to bring out more of the best of you. What will having these do for you? You’ll feel good. You’ll feel happy. You’ll feel that life is worth living. Everything you desire is because, underneath, you believe it will bring you what you want more than anything. Happiness. This is good feeling mojo, and it impacts your attitude and creates momentum to enjoy life. By identifying what creates happiness for you, and using this as your personal GPS, you’ll discover fulfillment and success. Yes, we’re still focusing on simple, but look what often happens. People put up with others and situations that could be changed by redirecting their attention with a dose of clarity, confidence and courage. Mulling over unhappy stories of the way things are, aka excuses and erroneous beliefs, keeps us unhappy … until circumstances snap us out of our fixed thinking, the burden of pain becomes too great or we make a conscious choice to do what it takes to let go and change. A woman wasn’t happy with her job, but for fifteen years she believed this is what social work is like everywhere. Circumstances changed, and she found an identical job in another office that she loved. Her beliefs about work weren’t true, and the limiting story she told herself kept her stuck. For years, an unhappy husband held himself back from enjoying life because of his sick wife. He patiently waited for her to die. She outlived him by ten years. Many have a high tolerance for pain and put up with things waaay too long. What makes you feel unhappy? Your spirit is giving you a clue. Do something differently. You may have to walk through your fear or sacred cow beliefs to do it. It’s of little importance if you don’t know the big picture of where you’re going or you don’t know how to do whatever. Age, your past history, your health, your degree of stuckness or frustration or confusion do NOT matter! Start with baby steps toward what makes you feel good, and they’ll lead you to what you need. In my late twenties, while in a toxic situation that shattered my health and felt like a five-year prison sentence, I had a dream with a message. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I wrote it on scrap paper and put it on my dresser. Find your heart and rescue it. In my early forties, I cried miserably as I walked alone in my neighborhood at night because none of the above mentioned “basics” were working for me. (By the way, that was my turning point to start coaching.) You can turn anything around to your benefit, and use this present moment as your springboard to create more joy. Be patient with yourself. One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Create a movie you’ll enjoy seeing because you’re happy.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love. Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Your New Year’s Challenge

In August 1989, I attended a talk by top motivational speaker and self-development author Brian Tracy. He suggested we write 25 goals daily for one month. After a few days, I stopped writing “speak fluent French” as I realized I didn’t care that much about improving my high school language skills. Simultaneously, I listened to business conference calls several times a week. My company was having a grand opening in Malaysia the following month, and people were going there to open the market. I had to look at a map to find the country… it’s halfway around the world from where I live. Then I got the idea to include “go to Malaysia” on my daily list of 25. That was a pretty far fetched consideration as my financial coffers were low, but I got a nudge to write it down. I discovered I had frequent flyer miles that would allow me to fly there business class. One thing led to another, and my plans miraculously came together. On Labor Day weekend, I was on a Singapore Airlines flight and enjoyed, for over a month, living in Malaysia, Singapore and Hong Kong with a stop in Japan. Imagine what your life could be if you open to the possibility of turning your dreams and goals to reality. Here’s an easy way to get started. Your New Year’s Challenge is to consciously create an awesome year by writing 25 goals daily for a month. Believe, the best you can, that you can have them or something better in your life. Allow yourself to receive miracles coming from traditional sources as well as from out of the blue. Why does it work? Your continued light-hearted focus sets energy in motion that magnetizes your goals to you. Your goals can be BIG, mundane or heartfelt dreams. Let go of the “need” to have them or wondering where they are. That energy of lack creates a filter that stalls or blocks their arrival. When you accomplish things like “clean my desktop,” delete those intentions and replace them the next day. Some you won’t care to continue to write about daily. Let those go for now. Add others. Keep it fun as you continue your daily practice of writing your list of 25. It’s time to create a wonderful year of your dreams coming true. With gratitude, Virginia

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but could benefit from new tools or support, don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.