You’re feeling great and in the flow. You can do it. This is your time. Nobody can stop you… until some turkeys start pecking away at you, and you want to run. Experiencing this way too often, and although she’s at the top of her business, competent and relatively young, my client told me that she couldn’t stop focusing on retirement. She felt that she could no longer handle the stress created from customers’ unrealistic demands and exhausting herself to get them to see reason. During her Soulgoals session, she realized that she was attracting people who brought out a quality in her that was like her father – being judgmental. People weren’t acting the way she thought they should. As like attracts like, she was magnetizing people who would bug her so that she could be “justifiably” judgmental. To counterbalance her father’s inflexible attitude, she played the role of the peacemaker throughout her life. Now that he’s passed and she’s tired of “battling,” she thought those days were over. However, his judgmental attitude was still alive inside her because she absorbed his energy, and she continued to attract people that required her to be the peacemaker. She connected the dots and saw that unless she made inner changes, these patterns would follow her wherever she went – even into retirement. She was on the verge of letting go of a great career instead of letting go of the unwanted energy she harbored within. It was time to stop blaming others and her business as they weren’t the problem. Done with attracting challenging people who were like her father, she decided to release her judgmental energy and change her perspective. “I don’t want to put up with other people’s stuff… my big insight is that if you leave, you’re not going to get away from your issues. Deal with it through journaling.” Another client found herself consistently attracting unqualified clients. One got nastily irate when she told him that his application didn’t go through. Although she quickly let him go as a client, she knew she had to change her focus to stop attracting turkeys. Whatever is focused upon grows. In the past, she complained about how many applicants didn’t qualify, so she kept having more applicants who didn’t qualify. Now, she focuses her attention on having great applicants who both qualify and purchase her high end products, all with grace and ease. Her new perspective is working. Are there the same (annoying) types of people or circumstances showing up in your life again and again? Journal about how you feel when the turkeys get you down.
It’s time to soar with the eagles. You deserve it. With gratitude, Virginia P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward. P.S. All stories about my clients’ experiences are shared after having received their permission in advance. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit. I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. |
Archive for July, 2017
Fly with the Eagles and Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down
July 31, 2017Not enough time? This story may help you.
July 25, 2017
“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.
On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.
There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.
Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.
Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.
After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.
Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.
As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.
Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.
Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”
How he set himself up for stress
While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.
Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.
Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.
His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?
After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:
“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low. Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”
As an adult, stress still garnered him attention. Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.
One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.
In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.
An alternative
Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.
At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.
A co-worker just happened to call.
When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.
Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:
- Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
- Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
- By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
- In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.
If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off?
Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.
Start releasing patterns through awareness
- Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
- Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
- Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
- Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
- Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”
When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.
What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?
With gratitude,
Virginia
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.
I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Are Others Affecting How Much Money You Make?
July 17, 2017
A client’s business was doing great when suddenly her success screeched to a halt with only one completed transaction in nearly six months!
Being someone who looks on the positive side, she regularly reported having several deals that were pending or appeared to be sure bets. However, it turned out that each one fell apart for one reason or another.
To top it off, she gave several, well-received marketing presentations that were supposed to bring referrals, but that didn’t work out.
While talking about it during a 1:1 session, she connected the dots.
Her momentum stopped the same month she became the leader of a service group that helps people who are, shall I say, challenged in their housing situations.
In addition to their poverty thinking, she noticed that when her group is together, their conversations drift into drama about their lives.
Add to this a new boss who complains a lot, which motivates my client to schedule appointments so she and her manager are together in the office as little as possible.
At the end of our session together, she realized she had to take better care of her energy.
Three days later during her mastermind team meeting by phone, she shared the following.
Instead of driving with others to do their charitable work, and thinking about butterflies and rainbows to tune out their whining, she took care of herself by driving her own car.
She said, “We have to guard our energy as if our life depends on it, because it does.”
The following day, only four days after her aha moments and after months of setbacks, I received her enthusiastic voicemail.
“I want to let you know it has been a fantastic, fantastic day.”
- “I met a client last night after we got off our call. He submitted all his documentation immediately, and he’s ready for approval.”
- Another client of hers had a significant issue that miraculously got resolved, so his deal is moving along.
- Another woman’s deal is now in the process of closing, too.
- Plus, she received a call to present to 35 professionals in her target market.
She ignited her momentum by releasing other people’s negative energy and being more attentive to taking care of her own.
Her mastermind team member commented, “The energy of others weaves its way into our lives.”
Wallace D. Wattles wrote in his classic book The Science of Getting Rich, “Get rich; that is the best way you can help the poor. And you cannot hold the mental image which is to make you rich if you fill your mind with pictures of poverty.”
Poverty can come in many forms, such as money, spirit, focus, associations, confidence and beliefs.
Pay attention to the energy others are weaving in your life. How can you take better care of your energy? What unseen energy of others might be taking a toll on you and your finances?
Wondering what to do about it? Ask your Essence. It has your “soulution.”
With gratitude,
Virginia
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.
I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Your Money: Feast or Famine
July 10, 2017
A few months of very sparse sales motivated a former client to once again join one of my mastermind teams to jumpstart his business.
In the last two months, his commission-based income increased dramatically. During a 1:1 session, he outlined every deal he’s closing this summer, totaling over $60,000.
He made a budget before we talked. “The money I’m making will carry me to the end of the year. With it I’ll pay my bills and taxes, buy a new vehicle that I need for my job, set money aside for savings and an emergency fund and get me out of worry.”
Choosing to be fiscally responsible, he felt he could only plan for what he knows for sure that he’ll have.
There were a couple of big telltale signs that he was setting himself up to go from feast to famine.
First, he reminded me of a bear getting ready for hibernation. The way he talked, it was as if his business would go into a long sleep following the roll he’s now on.
What you see is what you get.
With his vision only focused on generating sales from his current pipeline, his business would only generate sales from his current pipeline. There was no mention of any future business.
Because of his past business scarcity, he was trying to protect himself from another financial shortage. In the process, though, he energetically designed plans for impending famine.
Second, an essential key to manifesting is feeling good first, not waiting until outer circumstances change before you feel good! Like attracts like. Worry does not attract experiences that leave you feeling good.
When we look around at circumstances that suck, it feels natural to complain, whine, get frustrated and angry. But that approach does NOT get us what we want.
I know because I’ve invested much of my life into this strategy. I’ve watched others try to improve their lives by talking about how bad things are.
Things only got worse.
This really is just a habit that digs a deeper hole of misery. It does not create success or financial flow.
Whatever you focus on grows. You’ll feel better focusing on what you choose, not on what you don’t like. (Unless you do that silly “yes BUT” routine of moaning because you’re not there yet… that’s not focusing on what you choose.)
He asked, “How can I know if more money will come if I can’t see it?”
Consider this. Life has a natural flow, and there’s an assumption it will continue without worrying about it.
You trust the sun rises and sets, even if you can’t see it because there are clouds in the sky.
We know, as Jim Morrison said, “No one here gets out alive.” Eventually your heart will stop beating.
Until that time comes, your heart continues to beat. There are steps to take for heart health. Do those. However, there’s no sense living your entire life as if your heart will stop in a few months.
Air is essential to breathe. If there are air issues, address those. However, there’s no sense living your entire life as if you won’t have air to breathe in a few months.
Life has its own flow.
Money has a flow, too.
My client got it. He said, “the beauty is its simplicity. In the past, my thinking about worry created limit.”
He saw how he could trust that the flow will continue in his finances just as the flow in nature continues… unless he stops it by worry.
“It’s insane to be whining, fretting and complaining. Instead, let abundance expand instead of raining on it with negativity.”
He decided “it makes more sense to have clarity, focus and appreciation.”
Allow yourself to trust that you can tap into a money flow. Focus on this flow, not that your money will get divided into little pieces leaving you with nothing.
You are powerful!! Making a choice to be in financial flow, without diluting your energy through worry and negative emotions, can make it so.
If you’re experiencing financial famine, change your focus by looking for natural flows of life.
Connect the dots. If the whole universe runs on flows, you can tap into the flow of financial abundance.
Focus on what you choose.
In the words of Star Trek’s Mr. Spock, “Live long and prosper!”
Tyranny or Freedom?
July 3, 2017
While living in Washington, D.C., I’d park my car, run up 58 steps and be in awe at the towering and erect presence of one of the great men who founded the United States of America. Thomas Jefferson also served as our third President from 1801 to 1809.
I sometimes visited the Jefferson Memorial when I could be alone in this hallowed sanctum. It was possible to do because it’s open around the clock.
Standing amidst the white marble steps and building, my eyes would gaze at the 129′ bronze statue and excerpts of the Declaration of Independence, whose principal author was Jefferson.
However, the reason I kept returning was to slowly turn in a circle to read the inscription under the dome:
“I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.” Thomas Jefferson to Dr. Benjamin Rush, September 23, 1800.
I didn’t realize at the time how these words, which still bring tears to my eyes, would be emblazoned within me. They inspired my lifetime passion, “upon the altar of God,” to help others and myself live in freedom through liberation of the “tyranny over the mind of man.”
The definition of tyranny includes the oppression, often cruel, of people or a government over others. Another aspect is an unreasonable or arbitrary use of power or control.
For me, there’s a twist to this. It reminds me of a quote by American Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry in 1813. Most famously, it was quipped by cartoonist Walt Kelly on a couple of Earth Day posters when Pogo said:
The voice in your head, motivated by an insecure ego, can be your enemy and create the greatest form of tyranny.
These inner rants can be cruel, unreasonable, oppressive and arbitrary. If you allow this to dominate, you relinquish control of your life.
Know that you have the power of choice!
You can choose to listen to your Essence, instead.
Especially those familiar with my teachings about “choosing,” you might be interested in this. When I was thirty years old, I had the first sentence of the following quote by Jefferson on a wall plate of a light switch:
“Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for oneself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice, and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing.”
Pondering this message regularly, I knew there was more to it than I could understand at the time. I’m now aware of this:
We are free to choose. We are so free, we can choose fear or freedom.
We choose our thoughts, which impact our emotions, which creates our lives. What hinders our freedom is allowing our minds to be tyrannized by any limiting beliefs. From anyone. From any circumstance or condition. From the tyrannical inner voice.
A client showed me a picture of a tow truck driver who quickly and skillfully used multiple cables to turn upright a parked truck that had been hit by a car and had completely flipped over.
The driver was very good-natured, and his demeanor radiated a cheerful attitude and peace.
Both of his arms stopped below his elbows.
He had a prosthetic leg, too.
He is a living demonstration of choosing his attitude and outlook on life. He wasn’t tyrannized by his physical condition and whatever caused it.
We in America celebrate our country’s birthday on the Fourth of July, our Independence Day. It’s a time of freedom.
While talking with others about a life-changing break for freedom during the week of July 4th when I was 20, others shared their stories of freedom that happened around this time, too.
Soon, the French will celebrate their day of freedom on July 14, Bastille Day.
Tyranny or freedom?
You can choose to hold in your mind’s eye the freedom and intentions that our forefathers envisioned while founding the United States.
What freedom and independence do you choose for you?
Start with freeing yourself from the tyranny of your mind, where nothing and nobody can touch you.
With gratitude,
Virginia
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.
I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.
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