Archive for the ‘Letting Go’ Category

I Was Challenged? Is It Good or Is It Bad?

April 19, 2021

Life presents both challenges and blessings. Your perspective determines how they affect you and your ability to make your dreams come true.

Once upon a time there was a farmer named Sei Weng who had one horse and one son. One day the horse wandered away, and the neighbors commented that this was unfortunate. The farmer replied, “How do you know it’s bad luck?”

Soon after the horse returned bringing several wild mares with him. The neighbors congratulated him on his good luck. Ah, what lovely, strong horses! However, the farmer responded by saying, “How do you know it’s good luck?”

The son was thrown while riding one of the wild horses and broke his leg. His neighbors once again commented on how sorry they were for his bad luck, at which the farmer said, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted into the military and sent into battle. Because he had a broken leg, the old man’s son didn’t have to go to war. The neighbors were excited about his good fortune, but the farmer remarked, “Is it good or is it bad?”

Another version of this Chinese folktale concludes with, “That’s the way it is.”

Another says that fortune turns to misfortune, and misfortune to fortune. There is no end to changes, and the mystery can’t be known.



Because the farmer was emotionally detached and didn’t go along with everyone’s thinking, he was able to see a bigger picture. 




According to the Chaos Theory our lives are always in chaos, and this is what opens us to fresh forms and possibilities. When we reach what is called a “bi-furcation point,” a “point of departure” takes place, and a “self-organization out of chaos” occurs.



In other words, events that serve as turning points create a new order and structure. 

Instead of adversely reacting to circumstances that seem bad, consider they may be a portal to something greater than you currently can imagine.




A messy divorce may be a ticket to personal empowerment and overcoming fear.

The loss or lack of worldly goods may be what cracks the shell to allow humility and what’s truly important to be seen or to create space for a new direction or life-changing insights… and the impetus to pursue one’s dreams, perhaps in a new way.

However, these new ways are often different than we previously imagined how our lives would be. Suffering, tears and frustration can be the result when we’re at a “point of departure” but resist departing from our old ways.

My recent experience:

I researched ceiling fans with lights that had to meet very specific criteria for my back porch. I invested a bizarre amount of hours to find the right one. FOUR fans that I chose became unavailable as they sold out while I was looking at them!

Getting frustrated was an option, but instead I said to myself, “this or something better.” I was on the verge of giving up but accidentally found a green one I absolutely love. Originally, it was in a price range that was over six times more than some I’d been considering.

I called the fan company with questions, at which time I inquired about the cost, too. It was less than half the price that a dozen other sites were charging for their sales price, plus I found an additonal discount code.

The rep told me that green was an unusual color, and it just went on sale for a fraction of the original cost.

It fits my needs way better than fans I’d seen at any price.

I kept getting blocked from purchasing others until the right fan showed up at the right price.

It was challenging when I missed out FOUR times on fans I spent a long time on finding. Disappointing? Is it good or is it bad? Turned out way better.

You can choose your perspective. Look deeper. When the timing is right, you may see the silver lining.

No matter how it appears, things change. The highs become lows or ordinary. Regardless of how frustrating or hopeless aspects of your life may seem, this too shall pass.

Your highs and lows come from judging how you think your life should’ve been in the past or should be in the future. Your now, this moment of time, is perfect just the way it is.



Embrace what is without a drama-filled story attached to it, and all your struggles are over.



Your dreams can come true. How? The way reveals itself. Listen to the inner whispers guiding you. Be open to receive. Consider a new point of view because nothing is what it seems. All is in divine order and surpasses your wildest imagination.

Nothing would be what it is.

Because everything would be what it isn’t.

And contrary-wise – what it is, it wouldn’t be.

And what it wouldn’t be, it would.

You see?

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


If you’d like help in 
creating your life to work better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people

who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

Edited and reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog, March 8, 2013

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

When the Going Gets Tough, Maybe You’re Going in the Wrong Direction

April 12, 2021
The blue is really green with blue undertones.

If you’re ready for miracles in your life, it helps to know how to find them.

 Remember this game?  Children look for an object and are told cold, warm or hot as they get further away or closer to it.

 Life gives you clues like this, too, so you’ll know if you’re on the right track.

  • You’re cold when you feel like you’re pushing against a brick wall, and it won’t budge.
  • You’re warm when you feel like you’re in the flow, enjoying a magic carpet ride.
  • You’re hot when you’re manifesting. 

What can that look like in real life? 

Ever make yourself wrong when you don’t have energy to do what you think you “should?”  Yes, sometimes you just have to take action to get your mojo running. 

Sometimes you need a course correction. Even if it’s the right goal, it could be the wrong approach or attitude. 

When you feel like a fish swimming upstream, maybe it’s because you’re going against the flow. 

Another way to know? If you’re moping, whining, angry, frustrated, complaining, fearful or worried, you splashed ashore. You jumped out of the flow and became a fish out of water. 

This is a good time to pause and observe. What makes you happy? Do you really have to force yourself to go in the direction you’re going – and the way you’re doing it? 

Let yourself be guided by the flow instead of trying to make things happen. 

Here’s how I went from cold to hot in manifesting. 

 I decided to get living room furniture. 

 I had mental images of what I wanted. The back of the sofa had curved lines. Because I enjoy holiday decorating, I wanted the sofa to be red or green.

 However, I became irritated while in every store. Shopping was laborious. Spending all that money and not enjoying it didn’t seem right. So, I stopped forcing myself to look.

 Soon after, new neighbors moved in next door. Their previous home was twice the size and several hours away.

 Not knowing which living room set to use until they could try them out, they brought two to their new home. They sold me the sofa from their rarely used formal living room, nicely protected in movers’ plastic. The back? Curved. Colors? Red and green.

 Added to this were two end tables; a coffee table; two lamps; rug; chair; a throw blanket and yards of matching, wooden, Christmas garland.

 Anxious to clear their garage, they sold it all for $175!

 Instead of pricey delivery costs because I live out-of-town from the stores, we only had to move it across the yard.

 My lack of interest and irritation was my guidance telling me not to shop.


 Here are some components that allowed me to manifest the furniture:

  • Made a choice – I decided to have new living room furniture.
  • Identified details – I only had images about the colors and curved back, so I had my attention on those. I worked with what I knew, and that was enough.
  • Took action – Shopping focused my energy. It was an on-the-job visualization.
  • Let it go – I didn’t force myself to do what didn’t bring me joy. This allowed me to relax and open to the flow of possibilities. 

There’s another part of the story.  I almost missed out on this deal. 

At first I was told the sofa was plaid, so I said I wasn’t interested. 

Fortunately, the next morning I woke up and decided it wouldn’t hurt to look. When I did, I discovered it fit the image and feel of what I wanted better than any style I’d looked at in the stores. 

I almost turned my back on this manifestation because I prejudged without even looking into it.

Now it’s your turn. 

  1. Breathe and relax.
  2. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
  3. Choose to be in divine flow.
  4. Take action in the direction of your goal. 
  5. Let it go. I mean really let go of the need or desire to have it. Allow divine timing to work its wonders.

Let me know your results!

If you’d like help in 
making your life work better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people

who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.



Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog, April 21, 2011

Well, What Did You Expect?

January 18, 2021
Has life got you tied up in a knot? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. 

By the way, just because the cat is stuck, there’s nothing wrong with it anymore than there’s anything wrong with you when you go through your challenges!

To help you unravel your stuckness and why it’s happening, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities plus a meet and greet.

But I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings. She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but you block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

It pulls you away from the present moment and foists you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

Stop shoulding on yourself!

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes you and your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all.

It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it makes the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

Well, what did you expect?

Excerpt from January 25, 2016 Soulgoals’ post.

If you’d like help to make your life easier,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to 
share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way

but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”
Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck… and how you create unnecessary pain and suffering

July 20, 2020

Feeling stalled out or stuck during Covid time? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. By the way, just because it’s stuck, there’s nothing wrong with the cat anymore than there’s anything wrong with you!

To help you unravel your stuckness, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities and a meet and greet.

I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings.

She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do or act, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but you block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

Why? If things don’t turn out as you expected, you can get disappointed. However, if you set intentions but stop trying to control exactly how the outcomes should appear, you let go and let God.

Expectations can pull you away from the present moment and foist you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is. By not resisting, you open yourself energetically to infinite possibilities.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all. It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it’s making the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck

It’s important to identify where you feel stuck. Feeling stuck is an emotional response that can leave you feeling there’s no way out. Here are four alternatives that can help:

  1. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to control the outcome by expecting it (or people) to be the way you think it should. Alternative: Relax and anticipate this or something better will occur. Stop trying to micromanage the world. This opens you to tune into new ideas and directions.
  2. You’re beating yourself up with regrets or other limiting thoughts and emotions because of your situation. Alternative: Release judging you, others and your circumstances. Replace it with an empowering perspective that you’re learning, so is everyone else, and all is in divine order and timing.
  3. You’re focusing on how things aren’t working. Alternative: focus on what you choose and the good feeling mojo it creates. Good feeling mojo is what opens you to manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.
  4. You’re pushing to make things happen. Alternative: Stop resisting (and exhausting yourself about) what is and allow things to be the way they are. You getting fussy about it won’t change it or help. Let go. Let God. Set new goals for what you choose. Take action from this perspective.

Feeling stuck may be a clue that it’s time to change direction or attitude. You might have to let go of what you’re holding onto to make way for something even better! 

When you shift your energy, you allow life to create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Archives January 25, 2016

Know someone who might
benefit from reading this? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Need Answers? Here’s How to Get Them.

June 9, 2020

During this time of challenges and changes, we can start to question. What’s happening to my life and the world? Am I on the right track? So many choices… what should I do?  Is there something for me to contribute, especially amidst such universal unrest? Is there a higher perspective to make sense of it all?

There are as many answers and opinions as there are people.

A key to life, though, is being able to listen to your Self – not your outer swirl of emotions or trying to fit into to others’ ideas about how you should live your life.

There is a way to be empowered by finding your own answers. The more you practice listening to your Self, the better you’re able to hear with clarity.

Here’s a repost from a Soulgoals’ Archive, April 29, 2011, that may help.

 

When something went wrong, my old response was to gasp and think: “Oh no. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.” I’d repeat it again and again – but I didn’t even realize I was saying it.

Next came the sickish anxiety in my gut. Fear clutched me like tentacles from a sci-fi film. Solutions had no way to penetrate that thick gunk of worry.

One afternoon, I discovered that I went over a credit card limit that day. All I could think about were the fees, marks on my credit report and a higher interest rate.

I noticed a broken record playing in my head. What was it? “What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”

Funny how that mantra sounded like my mother!

When I heard it, I changed my tune.

I said to myself, “There’s a part of me that doesn’t have a clue about what to do. There’s another part that knows. I ask my wise self to pop in an answer.”

I Got What I Asked For

After my request, I relaxed, let the situation go, and left for an appointment. As I walked to my car after my meeting, an idea popped in my head. Drive straight to the bank and pay the overage before the end of the business day.

When I did and the bank heard my concern, they also extended my credit limit. Problem solved; benefits gained.

Learning to relax and trust that all will be taken care of, no matter what, helps to wash away the goo of confusion. After all, if God takes care of the flowers and birds, surely you and I rate, too. But what about getting answers?

A theme found in several Biblical references offers age old wisdom.

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Put These Together:  Don’t Worry.  Ask for Help.

Now, when I need answers, I place a simple request: POP IT IN.

For example, I’m writing and get stuck. What I used to do was:

  • Whine: You know the mantra I used.
  • Worry: “What if I don’t get an answer?”
  • Get angry and complain: “I don’t have time for this.”
  • Feel like a helpless victim: “Why is this happening to me?”

Now, I ask inwardly for help: “I need a headline. POP IT IN.”

The answer comes – either immediately or after it incubates for a while.

Prayers are always answered in divine right timing, Therefore, I let the concern go and do something else. This takes care of the seeking and knocking.

Taking action refocuses me. It helps me to detach from fixating on results and when they should arrive.

Easy. Simple. Clear.

Only Supportive Ideas Are Welcome.

By the way, if an unsupportive idea pops in your head, pop it out. It’s your head, so claim dominion of it. Don’t give your power away to negative thinking. You have the power to pop in or out what goes in it.

When those supportive ideas pop in, even if they’re a little outside-the-box, act on them. This is a key.

Remember, everything is given according to your belief. If you allow the possibility, this really works.

I invite you to experiment. Need answers? Relax and ask inwardly to “POP IT IN!”

 

 

Virginia Goszewska, the founder of Soulgoals, believes each person and business has a way to contribute to life. The coaching systems she developed that help people find clarity, take action and experience personal and professional success are based on decades of research and experience. As a regional manager with a worldwide, top ten, Inc. 500 company and at top-level executive positions of international corporations, Virginia received awards in sales, training, management and business development. From Southeast Asia to the United Kingdom, people around the world have benefited from her expert coaching, compassionate insights and common sense.

http://www.soulgoals.com

Virginia offers complimentary Break-Free sessions by phone, holds workshops, seminars, team building programs and is a keynote speaker. She can be contacted at virginia@soulgoals.com  or (512) 842-1231.

Please feel free to forward this to friends and associates in its entirety.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote To My Client.

April 20, 2020

Whatever thoughts you have that don’t feel good, whatever fears you have… they’re not about you!! They’re also not about the economy, a virus or any other circumstance!

We all created, everyone of us, a false identity, which is known as the ego. Some call it the mind – or monkey mind.

No, the ego isn’t just about those who we consider braggadocios.

It’s the part of us that feels fear, doubt, anxiety, lack, sorrow, sadness and wonders about “what if” the worse happens. What if you get sick? What about your finances? And on and on.

It’s the part that berates us for not feeling good enough, regretting the past and is fearful about the future – and, oh, how it disapproves of you in countless ways.

However, the greater part of us, an invisible yet far more powerful Essence, is within, too.

How can you access that place of calm, peace and happiness?

Soon I’ll offer a teleconference to help you understand and LET GO of your ego being in charge of your life.

You’ll learn how to allow your innate, inner mastery to be in control, new ways to set goals and MANIFEST THEM!

Interestingly, by letting go of negative emotions, we open to receive whatever we choose into our lives. Money. Health. Love. Peace. 

In the meantime, I’m sharing a Soulgoals’ post from my August 12, 2019 archive about the ego.

It’s just a hint of what it is and how it impacts you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

 

Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.

I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. And why was God allowing me and others to suffer?

This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.

 

Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.

For some, it’s an exciting adventure.

For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.

You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.

Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…

You are not your software.

In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

 

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”     

The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

 

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks it’s protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival.

When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.

 

If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
and more satisfying,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do This Instead of Trying so Hard

November 18, 2019

allow-open-to-receive

Have you noticed that when you push to make things happen, try hard to get something, have to have things work out in a certain way or feel desperate, what you want eludes you or is hard to get?  Other times, often when you casually say you want something, it appears effortlessly.

If a door opens by allowing it to come toward you, pushing against it only closes it more.

The same principle applies to creating your ideal business and life, too.

Imagine this. If someone is chasing you for business, to be their friend or lover, what are you inspired to do?

Run. Far away. Or, because I’m inspired by watching an old TV series Gunsmoke, “get out of Dodge.”

Your dreams and goals are here, now, waiting for you. Be willing and open to receive them.

Recently while out dancing, my friend and I met a man whose company we were enjoying. We liked the band and learned that he hired them to play at his birthday party at his beautiful, country home close to where I live.

My friend whispered to me, “Let’s get an invitation.” I tuned into the idea and felt it would be fun. Within five minutes, he invited us without our saying a word to him about it.

Earlier that night, amidst a sea of people at a month-long event held on six acres, I found myself face to face with a former client. I’d been thinking about reconnecting with her as we hadn’t talked for a couple of years.

We enjoyed catching up by phone the following day. At the end of our conversation, she inquired about my current business offerings. Poised to launch a new direction in her career, she’s ready to let go of limiting beliefs that could hold her back.

She’ll start her program with me this month.

Right place. Right time. Right energy. In the flow. Great results.

No struggle. No trying. Being a magnet for intentions and good things by relaxing and being open to receive.

Note: this is 180 opposite from worrying about what if things don’t work out.

Life is magical when we allow it.

We’ve been trained to think no pain, no gain. Do more. Work harder.

Yes, actions can produce results.

Releasing is one of the highest and most effective actions. This means letting go of anxiety, doubt, fear as well as limiting thoughts and emotions. It’s like a tuning fork emitting a vibration; this frequency naturally harmonizes with complementary notes.

Relaxing and trusting open us to inspired action which allows success to occur naturally.

Your action has nothing to do with your abundance! Your abundance is a response to your vibration. Of course, your belief is part of your vibration. So if you believe that action is part of what brings your abundance, then you’ve got to unravel that.

Abraham-Hicks

TIP: Stop Trying so Hard. Start Allowing.

In Soulgoals’ masterminding, we set our intention for success by saying: I choose and I am willing to receive this or something better. Then we state our goals.

You can do this daily by writing or saying this phrase followed by your goals.

Supercharge your intentions by accessing mastermind energy.  Ask for and allow support from a Divine Source, God, the universe, whatever works for you.

Some have had tremendous success by looking in the mirror daily, masterminding with the Divine, stating the above intention followed by their goal.

Be open and willing to receive.

It works.

Experiment, and you’ll experience.

Reprinted from December 7, 2015

If you’d like support
in how to let go and
have more of what you really want,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.
If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

October 28, 2019

stop cop

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results.

Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

“I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.”

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012

If you’d like support
through challenging times,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What You Can Do When Someone Pushes Your Buttons

October 16, 2019

 

 

 

Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed.

Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

 

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

All is NOT Lost! What to do if Things Don’t Work the Way You Thought.

September 24, 2019

What do you do when you’ve invested a lot of energy into results that don’t happen?

You were really counting on that contract to come through, but now it’s up-in-the-air. A friend said she’d help you move but bailed at the last minute. Your relationship falls apart.

Things just didn’t work out the way you thought they should or would.

A freelancer counted on her big client to provide a steady flow of income. She had a realistic expectation this would continue.

Suddenly, she was let go.

After the initial shock, she put it in perspective. She used a journaling exercise found on my blog and had a CEO meeting with God. https://soulgoals.wordpress.com/category/ceo-meeting-with-god/  (Scroll down to the post on October 2, 2009.)

She realized she now had time to focus on projects and business ideas she’d put off.

Things don’t always work as expected. But change always makes way for something better, regardless of how it appears in the moment.

Your income, love, support, health and results don’t come from only one source. God, the Divine, is your supply. God or the universe, whatever word is in alignment with your beliefs, is never lost and offers infinite possibilities. Therefore, if something doesn’t work, new ways are found.

Maybe the change is what it took for you to let go and allow new possibilities to occur.

Sometimes you have to let go to free yourself.

Remember the proverbial monkey who grasps something in a vase but can’t remove it? The neck of the vase is so narrow that he has to release his grip just to get his hand out.

You’ll get results: your expectation, goal or something better. However, you may need to change your perspective or approach.

You may need to let go of your emotional and mental grasp to allow something better to come in.

What you focus on grows. In the past, have you chosen anxiety? Instead, enjoy a childlike trust and curiosity. Look for how the universe is assisting you. Consider it a mystery, and you delight in discovering an answer.

Believe there’s a happy ending, and focus on it. Why not? You probably tried fear and worry (over and over again), and they don’t produce lasting and fulfilling outcomes.

By the way, about out freelancer. All was far from lost. New jobs appeared through happenstance, and her big client came back a few months later. Her job situation worked out when she let go and shifted her perspective.

 

This is a reprint from February 7, 2011, of one of my most popular posts.

 

If you’d like to discover
how you can change
your losses to gains,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.