Archive for the ‘Worry’ Category

Always Late, Hard on Yourself or Make Yourself Wrong?

January 10, 2022


“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” 
Alice in Wonderland 

A friend told me, “I have a character defect, and I really have to change it this year.”

She had a hard time being on time. 

She said, “If I have A, B and C to do, I try to squeeze it all in, even though I only have enough time to do A. Then I become late. It’s disrespectful to people, and I just have to stop it. This year, it’s got to stop!

I was born three weeks late, and my mother just accepted my showing up late. It’s no longer working for me, though.”

Her self-deprecating tone became more disapproving the longer she talked. To listen to her, one might think she was headed straight to the bowels of the earth for her misdeeds.

To put it in perspective, though, it was tardiness and not the end of the world.

I told her, “You had an issue. You don’t have to keep bringing up examples of what you did wrong in the past and how bad you think you were while dragging all of that into the present. You made a new decision to be on time. So be it.

Her reply was, “It’s really so simple, isn’t it? I don’t have to beat myself up or agonize about my habits. Just make a decision to change, and then follow through.”

Have you ever felt miserable and chastised yourself about how you didn’t do as well as you thought you should? 

It reminds me of when I was in third grade and took a music test. I was sure I failed. The test scores wouldn’t come back for a week, and I suffered the entire seven days. Why couldn’t I have done better?

I got the highest grade in the class.

That was my first introduction to an idea, “Don’t worry until you have something to worry about.”

It took me years to take it to another level: don’t bother worrying at all. It doesn’t help. Worry and making ourselves wrong actually make our situations worse.

Ready to be ahead of your time?

  • Let go of your story that you continue to tell about time.
  • Stop using your stories as a way of getting attention.
  • If you messed up, you messed up. Learn from it and move on… without the story.
  • Release the need to justify your actions or get validation from others.
  • Accept yourself more without adding judgment, blame and shame.
  • Shift your focus away from your past and refocus on now, your decisions and where you’re going.

Step at a time, and you’ll discover you are in present time.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new toolsor support. Or maybe would like a more fulfilling life. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligningwith their Soul’s goals.

Decide that this is your year!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Reposted from my Soulgoals’ Blog, January 18, 2018

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.


Is Peace Really Possible? If So, How??

December 20, 2021

Much of the world is lost in their wanting of something.

As a result, people feel bad or create conflict over what they perceive as lack  what they want but don’t have. In essence, they want things like better health or relationships or weight, a better life, more money, people to behave and believe differently and on and on.

This also means that whatever they have or feel is not good enough. Not enough. The real nemesis.

Could this possibly apply to you, too?

When you feel anxiety, ask yourself what you’re wanting. Even in simple things, such as:

  • Feeling stressed because you want to give the perfect gift? You’re more likely to find it if you’re relaxed.
  • Anxious because you want to get your house in order before company comes or want to land a business deal? If you’re feeling good, you’ll spread holiday cheer to your guests or clients – and they’ll feel better around you.
  • Worried about wanting more money, better health, your ideal partner or better relationships? When you’re emotionally calm, you’re more receptive to insights. Ideas and opportunities will be drawn to you like Santa Claus finds cookies.

Can li’l ole YOU make a difference in this big, crazy world?

YES!

With each person who feels greater peace within, the world becomes more peaceful. Just like anger is infectious, so is the feeling of peace. 

Which do you choose to propagate? Fear, anger, worry, frustration OR peace?

You have a choice. Sound impossible?

Do you think that you can’t help the way you feel because it’s someone else’s fault or your challenging circumstances are to blame? Wouldn’t everybody complain if they were in your shoes?

Here’s how you can begin to break that cycle, change your attitude and create a life of greater peace.

What’s the source that creates such stress?

Lack of peace comes from:

  • wanting approval from others
  • wanting to control circumstances (that are sometimes out of your control) or others’ choices and how they show up in the world
  • wanting to be free of a fear of lacking safety and security.

Can these really be the culprits of all that suffering? Yep. These three wants are the roots of what create any lack of peace!

The secret is switching your energy from wanting to having… then what you choose can come to you with grace and ease.

You can choose to experience greater peace!

First, decide that being at peace is your highest priority, more than wanting approval and love, wanting security or wanting control. (In other words, more than unconsciously wanting things that end up making you feel miserable, depressed, stressed, frustrated, fearful, worried or any crappy feeling you do NOT want.)

How?

  • Let go of wanting approval and love so you can discover that you already have approval and love. It’s an inside job, not something anyone can give you.
  • Let go of wanting to be safe and secure so you can realize you already are. If you’re trying to get this from others or feel you need more money, things, love, etc. to be happy, remember that they could be taken from you anyway. You’ll discover that you’re already safe and secure as long as you stop fearing that you’re not.
  • Let go of wanting control. No amount of trying to control external sources will ever be satisfying. You already have control, but it’s within you.
  • Let go of the need to defend yourself. What are you defending except a false sense of self? 

If you make peace your highest priority, you’ll experience greater success in all areas of your life.

You’ll find that you’ll attract those who are more peaceful, and peace will ripple to others. Li’l ole you changing the world toward greater peace.

As I’m not going to try to control what you believe, may you enjoy your holiday season in a way that’s meaningful to you and your faith.

Peace be unto you, my friend.

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ post of December 22, 2015


Tired of stress, frustration, and suffering?
There are tools to help you!
Contact me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way

Or choose to enjoy a better life…

but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.



Got Fear?

October 11, 2021

 “Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.

Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now


Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away. We work, live, and don’t notice it most of the time, but there’s a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen. It’s a feeling of anticipation, like waiting for the other shoe to fall.

We find countless ways to mask it, such as using power, substances, addictions, sex, control, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage we are only given what we can handle. We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life.

Always.


“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

 Franklin D Roosevelt


What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear. If you want to reduce fear, surround what you fear with love.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Feeling fear makes them stronger as it’s their food and encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and start to melt. Love cannot ride on the fury of anger.

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world. We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love.  Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses.

Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Consider wearing your fear like a rub-on tattoo. If you switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, the fear washes off. Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles.


There’s a wonderful Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 


Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Each time fear rears its head, observe your reaction. Recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time, and redirect your attention to the now. Breathe. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia        

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…

We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security


Would you like to know how you can dump fear?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

Worried? Do This Instead.

October 4, 2021

How are you going to get out of this one?

“I am old and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain 


I was sure I failed the test, and like a bully, worry stalked and tormented me for a week. When the scores finally came in, I learned that I got the highest mark in my class.

Although in third grade, I realized that the agony I created served no purpose.  After reflection, I thought another approach to future upsets would be better.

I told myself: Worrying doesn’t feel good. And if what you’re worrying about doesn’t happen, it’s a lot of feeling bad for nothing.

As an adult I learned that when there really is a problem, I’m better off to get clear on the issue and then focus on the solution rather than on what’s not working.

If needed, we can accept that we are worrying, without judging the situation or the fact that we are bothering to worry. By choosing acceptance we are no longer prisoner to our reactive patterns. Freedom greets us as we open our cell door. When this happens the worry-jailer’s job is done.

Consider this:

  • Our programming for worry is based on past situations that created unfavorable results.
  • We design our future with our present thoughts and feelings.
  • Therefore, energizing fearful thoughts with worry is a shortcut to what we don’t want to come into our lives in the future.

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”
Job 3:25


Worry projects us into a world of make-believe what-ifs and creates fear. It’s an indicator that we are living in the future, not in present time.

How do we stay in the present? By surrendering to what is rather than what we think something could or should be. Acknowledging what a situation or person is assists us to be conscious. In doing so, we can see more clearly and take more productive action, too.

If there is a situation that needs addressing, being in the present, rather than in a reactive and emotional state, opens us to receive insights and alternatives more easily. 

Humans are wired with the ability to handle life’s situations in this moment of time.

However, we can not cope effectively with mental tapes that project hypothetical, fear-based, future problems.

I was delighted when I read a passage in a great book by Satyam Nadeen.

There’s a part of us that simply watches what’s going on, like seeing a play. I sometimes call it the observer self.

Nadeen refers to this aspect as the Witness. It’s detached about what goes on and doesn’t care about the drama that monkey mind, others or our own, creates about a situation. This drains the life force from worry. In fact, from this vantage point, what we’re worrying about can be rather humorous.


“Each of the countless times a day that the mind or some other person asks ‘why’ about any and every situation that arises (just as a good little mind is supposed to do), the Witness always responds: ‘Don’t know, don’t care!’”
 
Satyam Nadeen, From Seekers to Finders,
The Myth and Reality about Enlightenment


How can we change a pattern of worry? Decide to let it go. Let worry go. Choose to release the habit. Ask the highest part of ourselves to release the pattern and replace it with awareness to navigate through life in a different way… living in present time with grace and ease.


 
“Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time one must begin by sacrificing suffering.”
 
Gurdjieff


Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to look at a situation that’s causing you worry from a perspective of “Don’t Know, Don’t Care.”  Consider a viewpoint where letting go of worry supports you to find peace and resolution to whatever is concerning you.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia 

Success Thought:

Mark Twain once said that one way of getting a silly tune out of your head is to put in another. Instead of the worry tune, you can use Bobby McFerrin’s melodic approach of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” 

“In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now.”


Would you like to know how you can dump worry?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Change Can Be Messy, Especially in Texas

February 22, 2021

Dear Friend,

Things often fall apart before they come together and can look quite messy in the process… to a new and better way.

I know life looks crazy now, but consider this.

If there’s an infected wound, it must be cleaned first before it can heal properly.

There is a silver lining to our current time of changes, from a virus that quarantined the world to a damaged economy and an overworked energy grid.

Time will reveal more of what that lining looks like after a much needed, overdue cleaning.

The clarion call to respect life is finally being heard. What’s a life worth? Let’s put things in perspective.

  • Respect life of those who are more susceptible to a virus or reopen an economy? Do older lives matter? I watched the Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick say, in essence, that older people should be willing to give up their lives for the sake of the young people’s future economy.
  • I read about a college student who was saddened because of COVID-19. He couldn’t graduate or get a job and had to live with his parents. I thought about the movie I’d seen, 1917, when men his age were getting blown apart in WWI. Not for months, but for over four years.

The process of change and healing often is messy.

Have you ever cleaned a room, or anything, and partway through the process found it looked even messier than when you began? Stuff got moved around, some piled up to be discarded. But then a reorganization shifted the environment to something better.

Some Texans have experienced extreme hardships because of an Arctic blast that left many without power and water. Homes are left flooded. Broken pipes. Broken dreams.

However, although it’s often difficult to see while in the midst of challenges and as many are licking their wounds, somewhere, somehow, this will bring us to better days.

Priorities change. I’ve observed, for example, how many people are taking care of each other more, and there’s a greater sense of community.

If some don’t shift away from thinking about themselves first, they have an opportunity to learn some harsh lessons. This includes politicians.

Things that annoyed us before take a back seat to current needs during stressful times.

Years ago I was in a business transition, and I was worried to tears because I didn’t know what to do. My marketing pipeline of how clients came to me finished months earlier, and I felt emotionally and financially vulnerable, distraught and directionless.

Then a FEMA-level flood came to my town. I ended up with mold in my house and me for six months. This was followed by six months of sleepless nights because of caretaking my sick cat whose weight dropped from 14 1/2# to 4 1/2# in three weeks because of an untreatable thyroid condition.

I asked a teacher of mine in the first few days of what was to be a difficult, year-long journey, “Why did this happen? What was this about?” 

The reply I received was something on the lines of, “You stopped worrying about money.”

I used to have fear running in the background like a software program in a computer that’s always on.

By the end of that year, I learned to let go of fear and worry. They only add to problems and don’t help anything. Amongst other things I learned is to trust that it all works out. Now it’s part of what I coach, and it’s made me a better teacher.

Remember that all of us have things to learn personally and collectively during challenging times.

In addition to people reaching out to each other, could there be other silver linings from the effects of the Texas Arctic blast?

With deep respect for the suffering of my fellow Texans, this event may provide a turning point in the way some Americans consider how we generate energy. While the United States is about to embark on addressing our infrastructure and climate change policies, perhaps more people will be open to alternative energy sources.

What are you learning?

With gratitude,

Virginia

If you’d like help overcoming fear or worry,
so you can enjoy your life more,

contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

www.soulgoals.com

This Couldn’t Have Happened to Me at a Worse Time

February 15, 2021
Pianist James Dick. I sat in the front row. Notice the mirrors that reflect everyone in the room.

There I was sitting so close to the piano that, if we both leaned forward, I could touch the hands of internationally renowned concert pianist James Dick. This man of great “talent, vision and class,” is a highly acclaimed competition winner and the founder of the Round Top Festival Institute in Round Top, Texas.

I watched in awe as his fingers nimbly danced across the keyboard while he played mostly by memory. He invoked in his audience indescribable emotions. As a woman who sat next to me said, “We can go a hundred places while listening to that.”

He played a selection by Chopin inspired by a Polish Christmas carol. Softly, sweetly, endearingly.

I was deep in the soul of the music, which touched my heart and ancient memories.

The audience was in quiet reverence, listening.

Then I had to cough. It wasn’t a simple cough. It was like what happens when you swallow something and it goes down the wrong pipe.

During this still and sacred moment, I quickly left parading next to James Dick, coughing my way in front of the mirrors and the entire audience while wearing my bright, yellow shirt.

At the end of the program, I had an opportunity to talk with him. He graciously allowed me to take pictures, too.

First, I asked why he pauses before he plays each musical segment.

“I quiet myself and focus.”

Next came my apology for disturbing his performance while walking and coughing loudly next to him in the middle of his playing hushed tones.

After a brief reflection he calmly replied, “I didn’t notice.”

The man lives and breathes focus. He’s mastered his art so much that he didn’t even notice big distractions!

FOCUS.

A couple of my clients are involved with sports that require focus, too.

While kayaking, Melinda told me that if you focus on what to avoid, you’ll hit it. If you focus on where you’re going, you’ll go there.

In mountain biking, Michele told us during a mastermind team meeting that if you focus on obstacles, like the rocks and bumps you go over, you’ll fall. She said that it’s amazing how when you keep your gaze in front of you, where you’re heading, the obstacles don’t effect you and you keep going.

Your life, business, work and finances reflect what you consistently focus on, think about, talk about, complain about, imagine and enjoy – whether you want that thing or not.

In my Soulgoals’ program, there’s a segment called Focus on the Donut and not the Hole:

“One group member said, ‘We’re trained to focus on worry. Now I’m retraining my focus on what I choose instead.'”

What’s in your focus? It may be a key to what’s in your wallet and happiness!

I work with people who choose clarity and to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog February 27, 2017

If you’d like help to stop focusing on what you don’t want
and replace it with having a great life, 

contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Know More Than You Think You Do… A 2-minute read with a message from Dr. Spock

November 2, 2020

You’re programmed for low self-esteem and to give away your power.

Not just you. Everyone’s brainwashed living in their own hypnotic trance.

Part of the gig on earth is to snap out of it.

It starts innocently enough with directives like “draw inside the lines.”

We obediently follow to fit in. That’s the hook. Fit in to survive. I mean, how else can a little kid make it in this world without going along with family and society’s customs – even if they’re wacky and don’t make sense?

Here’s a popular one: “When you’re under my roof, you’ll do what I say.” Then, somehow miraculously, when you move out you turn on a switch and think for yourself.

More likely, the programmed voice in your head continues until you realize it’s an old recording.

Then you begin to see that you’ve been wanting others’ approval and someone to tell you what to do so you won’t make a mistake.

Myths start early. Do you know anyone who stepped on a sidewalk crack and broke their mother’s back?

Step back from your emotions, opinions, the way you’ve always seen things, knee jerk reactions, fear, anger, stress, anxiety, and worry.

Instead of responding to old, recorded messages in your brain that say you’re not good enough, listen to your heart and gut. Those whispers will never put you down.

In the words of Dr. Benjamin Spock,
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”


Edited excerpt from Soulgoal Archives –  November 29, 2012

Ready to break free of that limiting voice in your head?
Contact me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Jumping to the Right Conclusion?

August 24, 2020

 

After sitting through a couple of traffic lights behind a car that wouldn’t budge, my friend got very annoyed.

He thought, what’s wrong with these people along with several choice expletives.

Finally, he angrily swerved around to get in the lane next to them. In the car was a man and a child in the passenger seat.

As my friend turned to the driver to give him a piece of his mind, the man asked, “Which way to the hospital? I have to take my child to the hospital, and I don’t know if I need to turn right or left.”

With this new information and perspective, his annoyance instantly left. He became fully engaged in helping.

Recently, a woman explained how she was quite bothered by something I’d said. She felt upset for months, since we had our last conversation. When we finally talked again, she told me that she didn’t know how I could’ve said such a thing and made analogies all pointing to why she should be indignant.

She assumed the story she was telling herself was correct, and therefore she was justifiably angry with me.  

A couple of minutes into her explanation, when I realized she had totally misinterpreted the point I was making, I clarified what I had said. Very quickly, the story and irritation at me that she’d been holding onto for so long evaporated.

I suggested that, in the future, she talk with me if she had an issue rather than jump to conclusions.

If you find yourself upset about something and jumping to conclusions, take a step back and observe. Is this a one-time or ongoing occurrence? Might there be a different way of connecting the dots? There may be a different way of handling this.

Perhaps there’s a lesson for you to learn. Maybe there’s a different story you can tell about it and discover a new conclusion.

Are you using or misusing your imagination?

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archives, February 4, 2019

Ready to find clarity and discover
how you can jump to the conclusion
that you can get what you really want…
or something better?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, MAYBE YOU’RE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION

October 7, 2019

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

If you’re ready for miracles in your life, it helps to know how to find them.

Remember this game?  Children look for an object and are told cold, warm or hot as they get further away or closer to it.

Life gives you clues like this, too, so you’ll know if you’re on the right track.

  • You’re cold when you feel like you’re pushing a brick wall, and it won’t budge.
  • You’re warm when you feel like you’re in the flow, enjoying a magic carpet ride.
  • You’re hot when you’re manifesting (what you want happens).

What can that look like in real life?

Ever make yourself wrong when you don’t have energy to do what you think you “should”?

Yes, sometimes you just have to take action to get your mojo running.

Sometimes you need a course correction. Even if it’s the right goal, it could be the wrong approach or attitude.

When you feel like a fish swimming upstream, maybe it’s because you’re going against the flow. 

Another way to know? If you’re moping, whining, angry, frustrated, complaining, fearful or worried, you splashed ashore. You jumped out of the flow and became a fish out of water.

This is a good time to pause and observe. What makes you happy?

Do you really have to force yourself to go in the direction you’re going – and the way you’re doing it? 

Let yourself be guided by the flow instead of trying to make things happen.

Here’s how I went from cold to hot in manifesting.

 I decided to get living room furniture. 

 I had images of what I wanted. The back of the sofa had curved lines. Because I enjoy holiday decorating, I wanted the sofa to be red or green.

 COLD: I became irritated whenever I went to a store. I couldn’t find what I wanted. Shopping was laborious. Spending all that money and not enjoying it didn’t seem right. So I stopped forcing myself to shop.

 Soon after, new neighbors moved in next door. Their previous home was twice the size and several hours away.

 Not knowing which living room set to use until they could try them out in their new home, they brought both of them.

HOT: They sold me the sofa from their rarely used formal living room, nicely protected in movers’ plastic. The back? Curved. Colors? Red and green.

 Added to this was the entire living room set: two end tables; a coffee table; two lamps; rug; chair; and a throw blanket. Anxious to clear their garage, they sold all of it to me for $175! All items looked brand new!

 Instead of pricey delivery costs because I live out-of-town from the stores, we only had to move it across the yard.

 My lack of interest and irritation was my guidance telling me to stop shopping.

Here are some components that allowed me to manifest the furniture: 

  • Made a choice – I decided to have new living room furniture.
  • Identified details – I only had images about the colors and curved back, so I had my attention on those. I worked with what I knew, and that was enough.
  • Took action – Shopping focused my energy. It was an on-the-job visualization.
  • Let it go – I didn’t force myself to do what didn’t bring me joy. This allowed me to relax and open to the flow of possibilities.

There’s another part of the story.  I almost missed out on this deal.

At first I was told the sofa was plaid, so I said I wasn’t interested. It didn’t fit my mental picture.

Fortunately, the next morning I woke up and decided it wouldn’t hurt to look. When I did, I discovered it fit the image and feel of what I wanted better than any style I’d looked at in the stores.

ON THE VERGE OF TURNING INTO AN ICE CUBE: I almost turned my back on this manifestation because I prejudged without even looking into it. 


Now it’s your turn.

  1. Breathe and relax.
  2. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
  3. Choose to be in divine flow.
  4. Take action in the direction of your goal.

 Let it go. I mean really let go of the need or desire to have it. Allow divine timing to work its wonders. Let me know your results!

This is a reprint from April 21, 2011.

 

If you’d like to change
the way your life is going
to create something better,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Stop Fear in Its Tracks

June 3, 2019

Please enjoy my Soulgoal Missive, which I resurrected from my July 2002 archives. This was the year after the September 11 terrorist attacks, and fear was rampant.

“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away.

People work, live, and don’t notice fear most of the time because it’s so familiar. It can lurk in the background like a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen… a feeling of anticipation, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

There are countless ways to mask it, such as using power over others, escapes like too much television, overuse of substances, addictions, sex, being controlling, seeking approval, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage that we are only given what we can handle.

We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life. Always.

“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” 

Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. President during World II

What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear.

If you want to reduce fear, take a deep breath and surround what you fear with love. I know this can sound crazy, but consider this.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Generating fear in others makes them stronger as it’s their food, their energy source. Instilling fear is the outcome they’re trying to create, so our feeling fear encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and their power to create fear in others starts to melt. The fury of anger cannot ride on love.

Overcoming the domination of fear IS possible! Here’s a recent Success Story of one of my clients, LisaBeth Thomas:

 “With Virginia’s coaching my world totally changed.  She showed me how to let go of the fears and let in my success. Now I am getting new business and opportunities each month!  My energy and enthusiasm are through the roof, and there is no stopping me or the growth of my company!”


  LisaBeth (LB) Thomas, The Big Cheese.TV, LLC; Producer, Speaker, Leading Brand and Media Strategist; Founding Member & Past President of Texas Women in Business (TWIB); an Austin Business Journal’s Top 25 Woman of Influence

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world.

We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love. 

Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life Force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses. Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Maybe you’ve been wearing your fear like an irreversible tattoo when it’s only a rub-on that can be removed. Switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, and the fear washes off.

Fear is your interpretation of events, a misuse of your imagination, and you have the power to change your perspective.

Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles. 

It doesn’t mean you agree with what others do or a situation. It does mean you don’t give them the power to control you.

There’s a Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, “Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 

Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Observe your reaction when fear arises in you and recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time.

Instead of worrying and being afraid of what might happen, redirect your attention to the now. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security

Want to be free of the influence of fear
so you can live your ideal life?
It IS possible!!

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

http://www.soulgoals.com/contact-me/#form

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.