TIP: My 12 Survival Lessons from Challenging Times

Sometimes when things fall apart, they may actually be falling into place.

I’m sharing gifts from one of the most challenging times I’ve ever had. Throughout my life, there were lessons that I stubbornly hadn’t learned, and my experience gave me an opportunity to get them in a condensed amount of time… or potentially lose everything.

I later recognized that these were a shortcut in preparation for me to do what I love in a bigger way. Without really getting their value, I would’ve stayed where I was and sabotaged my future success.

Last year, many in my community were hit by a devastating flood that washed away both homes and people. I was fortunate not to be affected by this directly. However, over the second half of last year, the effects of a mold outbreak wreaked havoc with my home, walls, furniture, health and income.

While listening to several people this week, I thought some of my insights may help you, too.

1. A positive attitude with fear running underneath doesn’t cut it. I had to live in “good feeling mojo” and focus only on what’s working and on what feels good to me – with no luxury to slip into low energy emotions. Feeling good creates momentum for things to work out for the better. Otherwise, because for a while I could barely think straight or talk coherently (sometimes I could only smile, nod and not speak), I could’ve lost everything while immersed in the haze of mold.
2. One morning, panic completely enveloped me. Knowing that chewing on and regurgitating my problems was a dead end, I shifted to look for solutions and found them. I had to do this for months, often looking at only the next step at a time.
3. Through this I really learned how to dump fear, even that which runs in the background like a low-grade fever. That I did this still blows my mind… which is where fear lies. Fear isn’t real; it’s in your head. If there’s a situation to be addressed, fear and worry won’t bring you solutions. Plus, if you’re afraid, you open yourself up to others controlling you for their benefit.
4. I’d been service-minded, caring more about others and putting their needs before mine. To survive, I had to put me first. Only then could I be of any help to others. This was a HUGE lesson that I was forced to get. By the way, if you’ve always put yourself first, your lessons may be the reverse – to see the value of giving. Ultimately, it’s about balance between giving and receiving.
5. I learned not to care about others’ opinions of me. What others think about me is their issue. I have to do what’s right for me. That released an emotional burden of guilt and second guessing myself.  A Johnny Depp quote says it well: “Just keep moving forward and don’t give a s— about what others think. Do what you have to do for you.” Sometimes people want to keep you at their level of mediocrity because they’re afraid you’re outpacing them and might kick them to the curb. Don’t buy into others’ fears.
6. As I was forced to funnel my energy toward taking care of me (if you’re drowning, you’re not in a position to swim over to help others), I became better at discriminating NOMB – None of My Business – and listened to people instead of coaching them to solve their problems. Not that they wouldn’t have wanted help. I didn’t have the energy to give myself away and not have enough left for myself.
7. I finally valued my feelings so much, that I no longer allowed myself to be around negatively directed energy, mine or others, even when people didn’t realize what they were doing. If they didn’t shift, I didn’t judge them. I moved on.
8. To balance this, creating smooth experiences with others is way, way better. Watch my manners and use my social skills, even if I was exhausted, became a mantra.
9. I stopped trying to explain or defend myself so people would understand where I was coming from. Many were so locked into their viewpoint that they weren’t able to hear what I was saying anyway. I also learned (the hard way) not to listen to them once I realized they were rude or dumping their negative opinions on me. They were neither interested nor able to consider another perspective.
10. Believing things will work out is an essential foundation for them actually to work… then to shift into knowing everything always works out in my favor.
11. Maintain my dignity even when I didn’t feel I had any because of my circumstances.
12. I realized that a reason for occasional light headedness and unexplainable fatigue I’ve had for years was a residual of a severe mold experience from 17 years ago. It would sporadically (good word for mold spores) show up. I had prayed for an answer. I got it and got rid of it.

TIP: 12 Survival Lessons from Challenging Times

You’re reading this, so I know you’re alive and therefore have been through challenging times. What did you learn? Maybe hard to see when you’re in the middle of it, but why is this a blessing in disguise?

There’s always a silver lining. You can see it if you look in the right direction.

When you redirect your focus to create good feeling mojo, you’ll create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Step back and allow yourself to see how your business and life are actually falling into place.

By the way, if you’d like help to learn how to release beliefs that don’t serve you and be supported to do what you love in a bigger way, contact me for a free, one-hour Do What You Love Break Free Session at vg@ResolvedForResults.com.

I work with people who long to share their gifts with the world in a bigger way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them find their passion and be richly compensated doing what they love.

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TIP: 3 Questions to Raise Your Bar in 2016

A few days ago, Raise Your Bar in 2016 was the theme for a mastermind group I facilitated.

Later, a team member called to say that the meeting was exalted. “I felt like I elevated 3′ or so.”

Having only thought about this word at Christmas, I asked what she meant. She texted a Merriam-Webster definition. Exalt: to raise (someone or something) to a higher level; to praise (someone or something) highly; to present (something) in a way that is very favorable or too favorable.

When:

•  you’re inspired
•  you see yourself succeeding
•  you believe you have and can do what it takes
•  you feel the energy move within you
•  you have a plan of action
•  you know there’s a team of people around you who give you unconditional love
•  you feel their support…

Then:

• you’re open to receive success
• you’re motivated to take effective action
• you’re in the right place at the right time
• you enjoy your road to victory
• you (finally) achieve results in your business and life for which you’ve longed.

A large part of her feeling elevated came from the mastermind energy.

To explain what I mean, here’s an excerpt from the manual of my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

“Napoleon Hill introduced the term masterminding in the early 1900s in his classic book Think and Grow Rich as: ‘the coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people for the attainment of a definite purpose.’ 

“How does this work?

“‘No two minds ever come together without thereby creating a third, invisible intangible force, which may be likened to a third mind.'” 

You can get results working alone. However, when you tap into a vortex of positive energy when two or more are gathered together in harmony and intentional purpose, miracles and successes blossom like spring flowers.

TIP: 3 Questions to Raise Your Bar in 2016

Would you enjoy an exalted business and life?

Answer these questions to put you on a trajectory of success. Writing by hand versus just thinking about the answers allows for more insights and ideas to emerge.

1. What would raising your bar for your business and life in 2016 look like?

2. What would have to occur to allow this?

3. What do you need to release for this to happen?

What to do next?

• Schedule your actionable ideas on your calendar.
• Set an intention to implement them.
• Find positive partners or a team to discuss your answers, provide weekly support for you to be accountable and encourage you to either stay on track or course correct, if necessary.
• Let go of what’s holding you back using any release techniques that have worked for you.

Believe that life is working in your favor… because it is!

To learn more about upcoming mastermind groups forming so you can enjoy support and guidance or to find out how to let go of what’s in the way of your success, contact me for a free, one-hour Do What You Love Break Free Session at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

TIP: 3 Ways to Create Magical Success

Your intentions matter. Your thoughts, feelings and words are like magnets, so whatever you focus on grows. Magical, frustrated, stuck, discouraged or hell is your choice. Regardless of your circumstances.

I just returned from a business retreat in California, and I journaled my intentions for my trip before and during the event. Starting my day in divine flow was one of my focuses.

Before I share some of my magical outcomes and to give you a glimpse of what I mean by divine flow, here’s an excerpt from the manual of my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

Life consists of flows of energy. Which flows do you follow?

If you tell a policeman you were speeding because you went with the flow of traffic, you’d get a ticket. You followed others’ flows.

Do you go with the flow of conversation with people who gossip or talk a lot about their problems? You followed others’ negativity to fit in.

When you choose to be in divine flow, you allow the universal energy and your spirit to take you beyond the daily chaos and ego’s desires.

Divine flow elevates you to a zone beyond fear and resistance, to be at peace with what is. You relax and release fixed ideas of how you think your life should go by knowing there’s a bigger plan in play.

While in divine flow, things that look like mistakes turn out to be part of the magic.

For example, while standing at a kiosk anticipating a pickup, I discovered the hotel stopped their airport shuttle service last month.

When the hotel called me back, I was told that because the organizers booked the meeting rooms last year, the hotel honored the pickup. My ride arrived in 15 minutes. Later, a woman told me she waited over two hours in the heat of the day to get her ride.

My driver learned I was staying a mile away from the hotel at an Airbnb home. He asked if I wanted a ride directly there. Arriving hours earlier than planned, the hostess happened to be there for lunch and let me in.

She offered and drove me to a local site I wanted to see, waited at a supermarket so I could buy food, dropped me off and picked me up from the hotel everyday, and gave me an extra night for free! I didn’t ask for any of this. She was so happy to volunteer these and never did this for any of her guests in the 2 ½ years she’s opened her home.

Several retreat participants who witnessed some of my experiences and facilitation came to me over the weekend proclaiming that my life is magical, and it overflows to include those around me.

Recently in business, I had a deadline to make a sale or my accumulated points and pay out would be lost. Someone contacted me out-of-the-blue and made a purchase just in time.

A Realtor client I mentioned on last week’s TIP: What to Do When There’s Not Enough had a similar experience when she signed up two listings that just appeared to her when she hadn’t had any listings in months.

You can learn the tools to create this kind of success in your life and business, too.

Your magical life and business are here for your taking. It happens when you believe you can.

1. Start your day by choosing to be in Divine Flow. At first, you may notice only incremental changes – things become easier, and you may receive unexpected, positive results. During your day, focus on these not the yucky stuff. Step at a time, you’ll gain momentum… and that’s when the magic really kicks in.

2. Kick out doubt. From my Resolved for Results course: “If you surrender and then continue to energize doubt with your feelings and attention, the doubt will push out your faith. Instead, choose to kick out doubt.”

3. Be vigilant about your associations, and don’t listen to trash talk from others or the limiting voice in your head. Join a positive, mastermind group to energize you and your goals.

You’re worth it. You CAN have quicker success with grace and ease. Think about how our business can grow. Investing your energy and time to create a magical life without the stress is a lot more fun, productive, meaningful… and possible for YOU!

TIP: What to Do When There’s Not Enough

 

During her mastermind meeting, a team member shared that she wasn’t getting new business although she previously had momentum and success.

Instead of wallowing in the doldrums of what wasn’t enough, she refocused on her goals – what she really wanted. She tweaked them, felt good about them and energized them with her positive attention.

Very soon after, she received two new contracts from people who came out of the blue. Plus, she hadn’t had activity in this part of her business for months. She and her husband talked about it being a miracle… one she triggered because of how she changed her focus.

You, too, have complete power to redirect your focus and turn any part of your life or business onto the path of success.

Your focus inspires your feelings which, in turn, creates results. Are they the ones you choose?

What’s not enough for you? Money? Business? Relationships? Time? Energy? Health?

Do you feel yucky when you think about it? Oops. You don’t want to stay there too long because that’s the energy that creates not having enough.

Focusing on what’s not enough can be a familiar habit, but it will NOT get you what you want.

If you were heading off a cliff, do you stay the course or turn the vehicle in another direction? You turn the wheel if you want to live.

Dwelling on low energy thoughts and feelings will only bring you more of what’s not working.

Imagine how you’d feel if you saw a laughing baby or playful puppy. A happy smile comes over your face. That creates good feeling mojo.

Find anything in your life or business that can bring a happy smile to you. C’mon, it’s there. Look for it instead of the yucky stuff.

What creates a feeling of gratitude? You’re alive and breathing, so you have the gift of life to go forth another day. I’m sure there’s a lot more. You may feel abundantly full of them.

Shift your focus by listing ten reasons of why you’re grateful.

Quickly look at what’s not enough in your life or business.

Redirect your focus and feelings. What do you choose instead?

Not enough business or money? Focus on having more instead of the lack of it. What would more look and feel like? You happy with clients and biz associates you love. Feeling empowered because you’re watching your bank account grow. Loving your vacation with family or friends. Reveling in freedom to enjoy more life. Feels good, right?

Friends or clients feeling like life-sucking vampires? See yourself enjoying the friendship of supportive and positive people where there’s mutual respect, give and take.

Focus on what you choose with good feeling mojo.

Yes, yes. The other is still there. But the way out of not having enough is to redirect your focus.

As Socrates said, “The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”

You have control of how you feel regardless of the circumstances. Even if they’re dire.

You can choose your focus. Use it. Don’t abuse it, and you’ll have way more than enough.

When you see any positive success at all, focus on that and let the momentum snowball. If you give your new focus a chance, you could see success faster than you thought possible.

By the way, if you’d like clarity and support to get freedom from the not enoughs in your life, contact me for a free Do What You Love Break Free Session at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Don’t Quit

 

Ever get discouraged because you feel like your sinking in quicksand of what you don’t want? Or maybe you long to be richly compensated doing what you love but don’t know how to do it, and you feel like giving up. Beyond trying to figure it out and coming up empty, know that there’s always a way out.

Often the answer is found by not trying so hard and letting go. When you stop trying to control and force things to happen, life has a way of presenting ideas and opportunities beyond what you could imagine.

To help you create the good feeling mojo that provides fuel to propel you to success, here’s an excerpt from the manual of my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.  Richard Crashaw, 17^th century English poet

What is a miracle? A miracle is a positive outcome that you didn’t anticipate.  It’s when you have no idea how things can work out, and then they do. It’s when results defy logic, and the impossible occurs. It’s when you’re touched by grace.

Miracles compel you to expand your consciousness and go beyond what you think is possible. They are reminders to trust in a friendly and supportive universe that assists you to create your life of choice.

A business woman was shocked during her masterminding group session. She received an email to repay a loan years ahead of schedule at $300 a month… and three days later a couple decided to tithe her $300 monthly because of the nourishment they received from her facility and work!

Shick’s Law says: There’s no problem a good miracle can’t solve.

TIP: Don’t Quit!

When you feel you’re not enough, you don’t believe you deserve what you choose.  You may give positive lip service, but underneath you question yourself. Then you try to justify your worth in convoluted ways, sometimes by giving up.

To allow miracles in your life, some part of you has to be open to them.

To open to them, it helps to feel good enough about yourself and life.

Listen to your inner chatter.  What do you tell yourself during idle moments or when you feel self-doubt? Can you trace the roots to “not enough”?

Not enough and low self-esteem are universally the #1 issues. Start by choosing to let them go. Journal to gain better insight.

Research shows the more attempts made to stop a habit, the greater likelihood the habit will be broken. Don’t give up on breaking a habit because earlier attempts failed. Don’t give up on yourself because of your past. You have the power to create new pathways for your life. Don’t quit.

If you’d like clarity and support, contact me for a free, 60-minute Do What You Love Break Free Session by phone at vg@ResolvedForResults.com