“All we have of freedom, all we use or know – This our fathers bought for us long and long ago.”
Rudyard Kipling, The Old Issue, 1899
While you enjoy the liberty to do whatever you choose today – be with friends and family, catch up on your to do list, have fun, work, kick back and do nothing – there are those who risked their lives so we can enjoy these freedoms.
Memorial Day is a time to recognize what others have given in service for us to live in democracy in the U.S.A. Although imperfect at times (well, lots of times), we are on a quest to create what the Preamble to the Constitution calls “a more perfect union.”
The Preamble is a short, introductory statement of the Constitution’s fundamental purposes and guiding principles.
It posits what the Founding Fathers’ intentions were regarding the Constitution’s meaning and what they hoped it would achieve:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
The Preamble to the Constitution of the United States.
Each year on Memorial Day, a national moment of remembrance takes place at 3 PM local time.
As you go about your life, will you take a moment to give a sacred nod of appreciation to those who cared enough about us and this ideal of democracy to serve their country?
A moving tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice is “Hymn to the Fallen” by John Williams.
“In honor of the soldiers who give us the freedoms we have today.”
My mother, who passed in 1988, used what I call mantras – words she repeated so many times that I still know them verbatim.
Because of regular reiteration, I believed and didn’t question some of them. It was like repetition used to learn arithmetic tables, but these were impressed on me with far more feeling.
“When I was young, I used to be happy-go-lucky. Then I met your father.”
Because they argued intensely, she started her day with this mantra: “I wonder what that S.O.B. is going to do to make my life miserable today.” (Note – she didn’t use initials.)
She had no idea that her daily proclamations and choice of emotions were what made her life miserable, not anything my father did or didn’t do.
She thought her suffering was my father’s fault, and I accepted it as true, too. I didn’t have an attitude about him. I liked and loved him. At the same time, I saw her perspective and believed her woeful declarations.
Then around 2002, I was talking to one my teachers about how I felt sorry for them. He knew my parents and replied,
“Your mother wanted your father to change so she wouldn’t have to change.”
What?!!??
This was a throw-a-bucket-of-ice-cold-water-in-my-face moment.
It was his fault. That was a given. Never questioned it. She lived a miserable life because of him.
Here’s the kicker.
As long as she complained about and blamed him, she didn’t have to take responsibility for her own emotions and actions. It was his fault. She was the victim. Pointing her finger at what she decided were his failings absolved her of cleaning up her attitudes, feelings and thoughts.
In a flash, I realized the blaming wasn’t true. She could’ve been happy if she stopped giving him power over the way she felt.
In a shocking moment, for the first time, I stopped feeling sorry for them.
I realized that my pity (vs. compassion) was condescending and disrespectful of their choices. They decided how to interact with each other. They had complete control over the way they felt. If they chose to argue as a way of life, and if she chose to feel miserable, those were their decisions.
As emotions create reality, she created a “living hell” for herself where she felt “like a prisoner in my own home.” Her life was a self-fulfilled prophecy.
Think about the implications in your life. Who are you blaming for what doesn’t work and how you feel?
Do you want others to behave the way you think they should so you can feel good? In other words, do you want others or situations to change so you can feel better? Or will you decide to feel better anyway?
As you create your future by how you feel,do you allow others to affect how you feel by reacting to strangers who drive weird, crazy acting people, politicians or past hurts?
Are you blaming yourself? Or will you take command of your own energy because, if you don’t, you block your dreams coming true? Guilt, regrets, bemoaning your past, blaming yourself and others are false narratives… and an insult to your divine nature. Everyone’s learning. It’s okay.
What mantras run through your head? I can’t afford it. There’s never enough. What if I run out of money or time? Nothing I do ever works out. My life would be so much better if only…
Even if they’re “wrong,” you still can choose your attitude and how you respond. As like attracts like, how you feel shapes your future.
What does this have to do with your life, business or work?
Your feelings and thoughts magnetize your experience, so don’t hand the keys of your emotions to others and “if only” things would be different. Don’t give your power away.
Allowing others to affect how you feel relinquishes the keys to your kingdom – or queendom – of success, happiness and ability to enjoy personal, financial and emotional freedom.
By the way, blame is one of ego’s greatest tools; no matter where it’s directed, it holds you back.
Youchoose how you react and feel.
Your now and future depend on it.
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce.
Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience.
No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”
Thích Nhất Hạnh
Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ post of March 13, 2017.
Ready to live YOUR life, let go of blaming and complaining and gain emotional mastery?
Once I left a half an hour later than intended for a talk I gave. I needed the extra time to place hand outs on 50 chairs and organize other aspects of my presentation.
I knew if I used the mantra on the 45-minute drive, “I’m late; I’m late,” I would have been an emotional wreck by the time I arrived.
Instead, I told my chattering mind, “I have all the time I need.” When I got there I discovered that one of my clients, who regularly attends this group and likes to arrive early, was available and very happy to assist me.
I had more than enough time.
Time is malleable. You can change your self-imposed concept of time in your life.
IT DOESN’T MATTER if you can’t figure out how you’ll find the time.
IT DOESN’T MATTER if you think you need more time in the day or more time before you exit the planet.
Talk with your Essence, the very core of who you are, and make an agreement: I have all the time I need to do everything I have to do.
Start by re-evaluating one area of your life where you feel you do not have enough time. Look at it from the viewpoint of a wise friend and reframe your perspective to one where you have all the time you need… and won’t run out of it.
“You can’t get it wrong, and you never get it done.“
Abraham-Hicks
Need to get control of your time? Feel like you’ll never catch up or you missed your boat? Maybe you’re so busy that you feel you aren’t able to get off your merry-go-round?
Cornucopia: an abundant, endless, overflowing supply. Allow your abundance to come in.
Your egoic self will seduce you to believe that you’re limited and not enough. It goes on and on with endless versions of not enoughs… you’re not good enough; you don’t have enough; you’re not a good enough parent or child; you’re not pretty or handsome enough: your weight isn’t good enough; you don’t match up to others; you’re not smart enough; you don’t have enough money. Get the idea?
It invades your thinking, but it lies!
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”
Louise Hay
How Can YouTell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?
Ask if what you believe is true. (Your ego will convince you it’s true.) You feel that you’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.
If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute. Just like what happened in the following example.
Trekkie Talk
Data, an enlightened, artificial intelligence life form who’s programmed to help humans, understands this concept as hetalks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:
Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.
Clone: I do not understand.
Data: I know.
And Data detached the clone from its power source.
When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding that the ego is controlling you. How is that possible? It imposes its faulty rationale, a filter that’s been influencing your perspective, that causes you to think and feel negatively and with limitation.
One of its programs is you against “them.” “Them” can be a generic somebody or something other than you. There’s little or no responsibility taken for one’s actions. You’re the victim. “They” are out to get you. Be afraid of what others might do to you in the future.
No, that’s not just the way you are. That’s the way you’ve been programmed by family, TV, church, school, friends, etc.
You can be running this computer-like mental and emotional software unconsciously. You can be completely unaware that its logic isn’t what you think it is. You may even adamantly defend it.
When this occurs, just like Data’s clone, there’s little recognition that the ego’s lies are actually working against you. For example, fearing the worse possible outcomes for the future isn’t protecting you. In truth, you’re setting yourself up for failure because of a misuse of your imagination.
It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as you become a pawn to do the ego’s bidding.
However, you can detach from this power source, just like Data did with his clone!
When You are in charge, your true Essence, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to go beyond fear, make your dreams real and enjoy your best life.
Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)
I created a tool that my clients experience at the beginning of my Soulgoals’ program, called Liberation of Lunacy (the LoL Technique) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes over control. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.
The ego will echo what you think, believe, say and feel emotionally. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming and making yourself and others wrong. Refrain from complaining about, comparing yourself and feeling superior or inferior to others.
Replace feeling a separation between you and “them” with an awareness of a connectedness with all of life.
Edited Excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog, originally posted on June 18, 2018
So what have you been telling yourself about you recently?
Stupid, smart, not good enough, grateful?
Is that really what you think about yourself?
If you want more money, which thinking do you believe works best?
I really need it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get paid what I’m worth.
(In spite of my circumstances) I feel prosperous, and more money is coming to me.
If you want more of something, feel as if you already have it. Otherwise, if you’re waiting for it to appear before you believe it, either:
You may not get what you want.
You could be miserable once you get it.
You could be challenged holding onto it.
Your thoughts about yourself are just mental concepts. Your thoughts and ideas are only pictures in your mind, and often times they were downloaded into your brain by others.
The tendency is to accept all of your perceptions as real because they’re in your head. However, they’re limiting because more possibilities exist than you can imagine.
“To look upon the appearance of disease will produce the form of disease in your own mind, and ultimately in your body, unless you hold the thought of the truth, which is that there is no disease; it is only an appearance, and the reality is health.
“To look upon the appearances of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind, unless you hold to the truth that there is no poverty; there is only abundance.”
Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich
What do you think about yourself?
Do you say you want more money but think about yourself as poor, in lack or needy?
Do you say you want greater health but see your body as sick?
How you identify who you believe you are now is writing your script for who you’ll be in the future.
If you focus on your outer circumstances, you’ll repeat them in the future. Focus on what you choose instead.
Don’t be fooled by appearances, and certainly don’t beat yourself up because you feel you’re not good enough. Your current circumstances exist because of old ways that you thought about yourself.
You always have a choice about how you feel and think, even if things seem out of your control.
Imagine what life would be like if you see yourself as the hero of your dreams coming true!
Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog posted on March 20, 2018.
Could you use help changing the way you see yourself and your prospects for a better future?
Ever start your day with dread? You don’t know how you’re going to get things done. Worried about what your spouse, boss or kids are going to say or do. Wondering how you’re going to get more money.
You may not mean it, but haphazard musings create intentions that cascade throughout your day. If you begin your morning with fear, anxiety or lack of direction, life will present you with a smorgasbord of experiences to match.
December was super busy for me. I launched my days thinking about my To Do list, random thoughts, what happened yesterday… just anything. The results were a crisis a week that miraculously got solved – but what a roller coaster ride.
I had taken a break from what I know works – a moment of quiet time to go within and consciously set intentions. As the year rolled in, I realizedit made sense to take three seconds to say:
I CHOOSE TO BE IN DIVINE FLOW.
I often add a few extra game changers such as I choose divine ______, such as order, timing, communication, financial abundance, grace and ease or whatever could help me with current circumstances.
A couple of weeks later, I noticed how everyday had been astounding. I was still busy and productive yet not overwhelmed – as long as I remembered to choose to be in divine flow.
I also noticed that if I didn’t react, but instead let certain situations play out,even things that appeared to be two sandwiches short of a lunch, were fulfilling.
It’s mind boggling that saying these words, that only takes about three seconds, can manifest such profound results.
Imagine going to a ticket counter at a train station. If you reserve a seat on any train, you could land in an urban jungle. But divine flow is different. You’re allowing the life force to guide you, surrendering control to a Master Planner who has your best interest at heart.
If you question that life is supportive, consider these words:
“I think the most important question facing humanity is,’Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.”
“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe,’ then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.”
“God does not play dice with the universe.”
Albert Einstein
Your life isn’t random. You’re not a victim. You have the ability to consciously design your life with the divine.
Don’t believe it? Discover this co-creation by running an experiment. Choose to be in divine flow daily for two weeks. Not just any flow – not your neighbor’s or that of people at work. Divine Flow. Affirm with an attitude of faith not desperation. If you forget in the morning, do it later. I’ve now included it as a non-negotiable way to start my day, right up there with going to the bathroom.
Now it’s your turn to “row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream.” It’s a dream you’re creating.
Here’s what happened to my client that cut her off from getting what she wanted… and how she turned it around.
A seasoned professional’s business plummeted, and she was living off credit cards.
Shortly after coaching with me, she successfully turned her business around as she attained her goal of $1 million in monthly sales.
But suddenly, it all came to a standstill. $700,000 of deals completely fell through with no prospects on the horizon.
What happened?
She was brought up to believe that you have to work hard to get what you want. However, she met a guy, and they’ve been having fun, fun, fun!
Recently, she’s been having so much fun that her limiting belief that “work has to be hard” crept back again. Her financial flow stopped cold in its tracks.
She became aware of her faulty belief, and let it go. During this week’s session, she reported that she’s on track to achieve her goal of $1 million of transactions next month, the time it takes for her deals to process.
In the meantime, she received a call asking her to consider a totally unexpected, significant income stream. This put needed cash in her pocket now and will continue to do so in the future.
A simple erroneous thought that life and work have to be hard impacts results.
When her fun life became incongruent with that erroneous belief of having to work hard, something had to give. For her, it was to stop making money. That is, until she caught on to her limited thinking and turned it around.
Not getting what you want? There’s an underlying reason for the disconnect.
Whatever you believe is true, you’ll make it true. HOWEVER, you can turn this around!
Everything is given according to your belief.
To turn your life around, change your perspective. Imagine differently. Start by seeing through the eyes of gratitude and having more fun.
“Life is supposed to be fun. No one is taking score of any kind, and if you will stop taking score so much, you will feel a whole lot better — and as you feel a whole lot better, more of the things that you want right now will flow to you… All is really well. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun!”
I reconnected with an old friend who told me he had been in a funk for quite a while because of events that caused him to question himself.
This led to a discussion about how our energy attracts people and circumstances and how gratitude can shift the way we feel.
A couple of months later, he told me this:
“When I’m positive, I’m like a magnet, and more people want to talk with me. When I was in a funk and not smiling, people avoided me.
“I went to a conference where I was overflowing with good energy and made new friends.
“It’s interesting how it works. This positivity thing is attractive to others. It makes sense because I wouldn’t want to talk to someone who’s sitting in a corner and scowling, unless it was a friend. Then I’d ask, ‘What’s up?’ Otherwise, I’d stay away.
“When there’s nothing there for people, why would they come up to you?”
If you want others to like you more, begin by being aware of the energy you‘re emanating.
In most people’s lives, there are things that could go better. Maybe you want a better job or improvements in your business or you’re ready for a change of fortune or you’d like to enjoy life more.
It may be too big of a leap to go from funk to feeling good, but you can do it in increments by focusing on simple things.
Feel good because you have a roof over your head or can read, and build from there. What you take for granted would be a profound blessing for many.
Start to feel good by making peace with your current circumstances, and watch how your life begins to change for the better.
You may find that annoying people will find your positive energy annoying and eventually not stick around, but others will be attracted to you like a magnet.
How do you know what energy you’re emanating? Tune in to how you feel.
Not feeling good is a sign that you’re in opposition to how your inner Essence is guiding you. It’s a clue that your thinking and perspective are off track.
How can you change it?
“Hold the faith and purpose of increase… in such a way that every person who comes in contact with you… will feel the power of purpose radiating from you; so that everyone will get the sense of advancement and increase from you.”
get frustrated if things don’t work out the way they should…
…what you want eludes you or is hard to get?
Other times, often when you casually say you want something, it appears effortlessly.
If a door opens that allows things to come to you, pushing against it only closes your ability to be open to receive.
The same principle applies to creating your ideal life, business and work, too.
If someone is chasing you for business, to be their friend or lover, to give them more time with you than you’re willing to share, what are you inspired to do?
If their energy is intense, needy, negative or draining, what do you want to do?
Run. Far away.
Your dreams and goals are here, now, waiting for you. Don’t chase them. Be willing and open to receive them or something better.
Amidst a sea of people at a month-long, holiday event held on six acres, I found myself face to face with a former client. I’d been thinking about reconnecting with her as we hadn’t talked for a couple of years.
We enjoyed catching up by phone the following day. At the end of our conversation, she inquired about my current business offerings. Poised to launch a new, career direction, she was ready to let go of limiting beliefs that could hold her back.
She’ll start her coaching program with me this month.
Right place. Right time. Right energy. In the flow. Great results.
No struggle. No trying. Being a magnet for intentions and good things by relaxing and being open to receive.
Note: this is 180 opposite from worrying about “What if things don’t work out?”
Life is magical when we allow it.
We’ve been trained to think no pain, no gain. Do more. Work harder.
Yes, actions do produce results. Inspired action. Not action based on fear, loss or neediness.
Releasing is one of the highest and most effective actions. This means letting go of anxiety, doubt and fear as well as other limiting thoughts and emotions.
Think tuning fork emitting a vibration. This frequency naturally harmonizes with complementary notes.
Relaxing and trusting open us to inspired action which allows success to occur naturally.
Your action has nothing to do with your abundance! Your abundance is a response to your vibration. Of course, your belief is part of your vibration. So if you believe that action is part of what brings your abundance, then you’ve got to unravel that.
Abraham – Hicks
Edited excerpt from a Soulgoals’ blog on December 7, 2015
Tired of the struggle and ready for something way better? Contact me to learn how at:
What you want and what inspires you to feel happy changes over time.
Your focus as a baby is different from when you’re a young adult ready to launch a new phase of this human adventure, and it varies at every stage of you being alive.
Likewise, what satisfies you shapeshifts.
Perhaps you are on or have had a financially safe and profitable career path, and you keep telling yourself that you should be happy. However, if you’re honest with yourself, it may be unfulfilling and you want more — something different, more meaningful with more money, more time and more fun.
Maybe you’re unsatisfied and are ready to make a change, but you believe it’s too impractical, you’re too old in today’s market to do something different, you don’t have the time it takes to make a change or you don’t know what else you’d do that will pay you enough.
So you settle.
Once I met a man at a party who had to close his business a couple of years prior to our conversation.
He was an adamant advocate of his limited beliefs: It was too late to start anything else. It took him twenty years to build his old business, and it would take that long to do it again. That’s a fact. Period. There was no other way of looking at it.
He couldn’t see that maybe, in his re-creation of his next step, it could be easier and success could come faster. His adamant view was that this was impossible.
He was fixated, stuck and limited in his vision that the only way things could be done is how they were done in the past. He had absolutely shut down his imagination. He was depressed. End of story!
I remembered the saying, don’t try to teach a pig how to fly. First, pigs can’t fly. Second, you just irritate the pig.
Mind you, he wasn’t a pig. But I could see that he got irritated thinking beyond his self-imposed doom.
Although he appeared to be a nice man, he was one of the unhappiest and most negative people I’ve ever met.
While there are simple steps to clarify and align yourself with what you really, really want, the soul of your goal, here’s something that may help you to start. This is from my Soulgoals’ program:
“Clear and conscious intentions create a blueprint of what you choose.They replace unconscious pictures you carry from limited, default programming.
“You attract what you energize with clarity and feeling.
“Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.“
You don’t have to settle! You can go beyond trying to find yourself, a better life, career or business and actually do it. You can be satisfied by consciously creating your ideal life or something better!
Virginia Goszewska (go-SHEF-ska) awakens people to be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Based on decades of extensive research and personal discoveries, Virginia created the unique mastermind and success program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step System to Do What You Love – even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stuck, stressed or confused. The mastermind is an energy created when two or more gather in harmony for the attainment of a shared, definite objective.
Soulgoals' Blog 