Archive for the ‘Challenges’ Category

Change and Healing Can Be Messy

June 18, 2020
 

Dear Friend,

Things often fall apart before they come together… in a new and better way.

I know life looks crazy now, but consider this.

If there’s an infected wound, it must be cleaned first before it can heal properly.

There is a silver lining to our current time of changes, from a virus that put the world in quarantine to Black Lives Matter protests to a damaged economy and upcoming elections.

Time will reveal more of what that lining looks like after a much needed, overdue cleaning.

The clarion call to respect life is finally being heard. What’s a life worth? Let’s put things in perspective.

  • Respect life of those who are more susceptible to a virus or reopen an economy? Do older lives matter? I watched the Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick say that older people should be willing to give up their lives for the sake of young people’s economy.
  • I read about a saddened college student because of Covid. He couldn’t graduate, get a job and had to live with his parents. I thought about the movie I’d seen earlier this year, 1917, when men his age were getting blown apart in WWI. Not for months, but for over four years.
  • For centuries, the cries and despair of slaves and black people have been ignored by white people and others who are privileged. Then came the tipping point where enough is enough. Actually, it’s been more than enough for too long of a time.

The process of change and healing often is messy.

Have you ever cleaned a room, or anything, and partway through the process found it looked even messier than when you began? Stuff got moved around, some piled up to be discarded. But then a reorganization shifted the environment to something better.

As we watch this time of change, remember that all of us have things to learn personally and collectively during challenging times.

What are you learning?

With gratitude,

Virginia

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Guilt, Know-It-Alls, Being #1 and Challenging Times

May 11, 2020

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

It was a way others could control her. If they could disempower her through feeling guilty, she could kowtow to their ways and do and be what they wanted.

Because she was used to feeling guilty, especially when my client became #1 in her territory, business associates and family triggered those familiar feelings.

She felt that she was doing something wrong by being successful.


Unconsciously, here’s the message others sent: if I make you doubt yourself or feel bad about yourself, I’ll bring you down to a place where your success no longer makes me feel uncomfortable. Who do you think you are? What’s wrong with you? Be more like me… and whine about how life’s unfair.


People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful and making more money than them, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success (she received negative input from others), her sales slipped. A part of her was trying to stop being a target that resulted in guilty feelings.

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their fear and disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, anger, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of a concern of missing calls from prospective customers. Her belief was that working hard is the road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before in childhood, she recalled that her mother and brother had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this coaching session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

There are many ways you can feel imprisoned, especially during a pandemic.

But good things can emerge during challenging times.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

Make the most of this moment. Isolation can give birth to unimaginable heights.


You think you’re challenged? Look at Nelson Mandela’s life (1918 – 2013; passed away at 95):

  • Mandela, as a young lawyer, joined the African National Congress (ANC) in 1944 to advocate for an end to South African apartheid, an oppressive system of government built on racial segregation. 
  • In 1963, he and other cohorts were sentenced to life in prison.
  • He spent 18 years in the cell, seen above, that was 43 square feet.
  • The floor was his bed, and he used a bucket for a toilet.
  • He was forced to do hard labor in a quarry.
  • He was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes.
  • He could write and receive one letter every six months.
  • In 1990, having served 27 years in prison, he was released by South African President de Klerk.
  • In 1993, he won the Nobel Peace Prize with de Klerk.
  • Mandela became president of South Africa in 1994.

 

P.S. Know someone who might benefit from this post? Please share.

Think about you on the other side of the pandemic.
Can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with the old way you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously create your life?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary session so 
you can start fresh, contact me at

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Updated from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on November 6, 2017

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Is God Doing This To You?

April 13, 2020

During these challenging times, when you’re forced to listen to your thoughts more than usual – what are they telling you?

Do you think you or humanity is being punished by God? Maybe God is laughing at you, at us?

Are you frightened during the night or in private moments about what you hear inside your head? What if the worse happens?

Do you feel depressed, anxious, angry, alone, bored, scared or any number of other sad emotions?

Why is this happening?

The late, fascinating Stuart Wilde wrote about another way of looking at moments, like what we’re experiencing, in his book The Trick to Money is Having Some:

“The great upheavals of the world are just self-transformational seminars which a lot of very unconscious people are forced to attend so that they look at their lives under pressure.

If you don’t change, reality in the end forces that change upon you. But the ego/personality hates change…”

“To me the quintessence of freedom is feeling not a circumstance. If you rely on circumstance to grant you freedom, it is unlikely that you will ever achieve it. For circumstances constantly change and the very nature of your seeking freedom in things outside of yourself creates the impossibility of it in your heart.”


Maybe you doubt yourself.

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Therefore, do you believe it’s justifiable for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, you might think that an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

This isn’t true!


A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.


By this statement, she then expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? To be afraid of what life throws at them? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

Mother/Father God, the universe, or however you view this loving Source energy, cares and supports you in the same way.

Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself! You can get through this.


How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions, especially now?

Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
 

  • Find your anchor of calm within; it’s there.
  • Breathe.
  • Detach emotionally from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
  • How does something feel – good or not so much? Feeling good is a positive indicator. 
  • Then make decisions, and take action.
  • This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
  • It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
  • The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

 


My Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

This Soulgoals’ lesson goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

Trust you can get through these times. Trust your inner spirit to guide you.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who might appreciate this post? Please share.

This is reprinted with updates from Soulgoals’ Archives, posted April 27, 2017.

If you’d like support or clarity of vision, contact me to find out how. I offer complimentary Break-Free sessions.

Contact me: virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

October 28, 2019

stop cop

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results.

Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

“I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.”

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012

If you’d like support
through challenging times,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Not Getting What You Want? Here’s Why.

August 21, 2019


Here’s what happened to two of my clients that cut them off from getting what they wanted… and how they turned it around.

1. Before we started coaching, a man was tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. Soon after, he turned his business around and in the last year has socked away many, many tens of thousands in savings.

However, he had a major meltdown about the “bitter reality” of not being able to get something he had been looking forward to having. Although the upset occurred in his personal life, his tremendous momentum in sales came to a halt.

Usually, at the beginning of his sessions, he listed so many deals that I couldn’t write them all down. This time, he said his business was anemic. Nothing going on at all!

By the end of his session, he did a 180 turnaround as he “put things in perspective.” 

He said, “I trust I can deal with this better and more appropriately. I’m in a better spot now. I’m more comfortable about moving forward.

“I now feel gratitude for what I have instead of disappointment for what I don’t have.”

Less than two hours later, he got a call about a new prospect. The following day he had a new client!


Energy attracts like energy. What’s felt in some part of one’s life spills over to the rest of it. When he felt frustrated and disappointed, he magnetized other situations, like lack of clients, so he could continue feeling frustrated and disappointed. When he felt more positively, he attracted success.

2. Starting last fall, a seasoned professional’s business plummeted, and she was living off credit cards.

Shortly after coaching with me this year, she successfully turned her business around as she attained her goal of $1 million in monthly sales.

Suddenly, it all came to a standstill. $700,000 of deals completely fell through with no prospects on the horizon.

What happened?

She was brought up to believe that you have to work hard to get what you want. However, she met a guy last fall, and they’ve been having fun, fun, fun!

Recently, she’s been having so much fun that her limiting belief that “work has to be hard” crept back again. Her financial flow stopped cold in its tracks.

She became aware of her faulty belief, and let it go. During this week’s session, she reported that she’s on track to achieve her goal of $1 million of transactions next month, the time it takes for her deals to process. 

In the meantime, she received a call asking her to consider a totally unexpected, significant income stream. This put needed cash in her pocket now and will continue to do so in the future.

A simple thought that life and work have to be hard impacts results. When her fun life became incongruent with that erroneous belief, something had to give. For her, it was to stop making money. That is, until she caught on and turned it around.

Not getting what you want? There’s an underlying reason for the disconnect.

Change your perspective to turn your life around. Imagine differently. Start by seeing through the eyes of gratitude and having more fun.


Life is supposed to be fun. No one is taking score of any kind, and if you will stop taking score so much, you will feel a whole lot better — and as you feel a whole lot better, more of the things that you want right now will flow to you… All is really well. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun!

Abraham-Hicks


If you’d like help clearing 
limiting beliefs so you

can have what you want,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Wayne Dyer: “What if it Doesn’t Work?

March 18, 2019

Life’s challenges can make it hard to imagine how it’s possible to achieve and enjoy something better.

You might muse about what you really want, then pivot to see what’s actually going on in your life and think that you must be crazy. “How can I get there from here? Don’t kid yourself. Reality check. It’s impossible.”

That sets the stage for an age old question waiting in the shadows of your unconscious to speak: If I try, what if it doesn’t work?

Here’s another question… What if it does? What if it does work?!

A client, having just finished an excruciating year where her life bottomed out leaving her deflated and her energy flat lined, set goals that included $2 million in investments.

Especially considering what her life looked like at the time, that could seem like a pretty far fetched goal.

A year later, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of her disheartening past, she was hired by a company that previously had contracted with her for specific tasks. Part of her benefits include company stock valued over $2 million and earning more money than she ever made before.

She let go of enough of her painful adversities, doubt and fear. Now, she’s able to use her imagination to focus on what she wants and believing in herself. It worked.

Here’s Wayne Dyer explaining “What if it doesn’t work” and what to do about it on his PBS special. 

The student should constantly remind yourself if it doesn’t feel natural, if it doesn’t feel natural, it isn’t going to work.

Now I was being interviewed on a national television show, by a guy who was about five foot seven and weighed about 140#, and he did this long, intensive interview with me. And he said, “You mean to tell me that if I do everything that you say that I can become a linebacker for the New York Giants’ professional football team?” …

And I said, “Does it feel natural for you to be a linebacker for the New York Giants? Does that feel natural to you?” And he said, “No. It doesn’t.”

And if it just doesn’t feel natural to you, then all of the rest of this is just a waste of your energy.”

Now the question isn’t whether you’re going to become a linebacker on a professional football team, but does it feel natural for you to say:

  • I deserve prosperity?
  • Does it feel natural for you to say: I deserve to be in a state of well-being?
  • I deserve for my body to weigh exactly what I want it to weigh – what it is supposed to weigh?
  • Does it feel natural for you to say I am beautiful?
  • I am strong?
  • I am capable?
  • I am loved?

If it doesn’t feel natural, you’ve got a real problem going with your subconscious mind.

How can this naturalness be achieved? The secret lies in one word.

Imagination  

 

My latest program, Conscious Creators, highlights how to recognize and let go of limiting beliefs. Then you can more proficiently use… or misuse… your imagination and receive amazing results in all aspects of your life.

If you’re wondering what you’ve been imagining, look at your life.

Everything is given according to your belief.   

If you’d like to learn more about how to effectively re-imagine your life or business so you can LIVE it, and dump what you don’t want, email me at virginia@soulgoals.com

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Ready to create your ideal
life or business
?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

“God, How Could You Do This to Me!”

March 4, 2019

 

Could bad things that happen not actually be bad?

Recently, I found “Is Your Hut Burning?” in a 1999 email I saved, author unknown. Perhaps it may help you put some things in perspective, regardless of how they look… and that God and the universe have everything in control.

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions.

But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. “God, how could you do this to me!” he cried.

Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. “How did you know I was here?” asked the weary man of his rescuers. “We saw your smoke signal,” they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad. But we shouldn’t lose heart because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground… it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

 

On a Dark, Desolate Road in Spain, This Happened to Me

January 21, 2019

The landscape looked like this, but the night sky was much darker.

After enjoying a month on the island of Ibiza in Spain, I traveled across the Mediterranean Sea to the eastern city of Valencia and then hitchhiked south along the coast to catch a boat and meet a friend in Tangiers. From there, we would travel across northern Morocco on his classic British Matchless motorcycle.

Hitchhiking in Europe was common when I was in my early twenties, and I met many people who graciously acted as if they were personal European hosts to foreigners.

Late afternoon, following a day of quick rides, a man treated me to my first experience of tapas, a Spanish appetizer, at a busy tapas bar.

After eating, I continued my journey as I put out my thumb for the next part of my journey, this time with a trucker.

Soon the sunny day turned to a gorgeous sunset, which turned to a dimly lit evening, and the vacation-spirited, coastal road turned inland. I missed the implications of that shift on the map.

During my 1 1/2 years in Europe and surrounding countries, I only ran into two potential problems while hitchhiking. The night after my transatlantic flight was the first potentially ugly episode. This was to become the second.

Although I couldn’t understand his Spanish while conversing, there was no problem in communication when he stopped at the side of the road.

I had a choice: sex or get out.

Of course, I got out. Then I saw where I was — desolate, surrounded by sand and what looked like a semi-arid desert with the outline of mountains in the distance, miles and miles away from anything or anybody.

I secretly opened my pocket knife, chipping off part of my tooth in the process.

Of course, I thought, he couldn’t possibly leave me here alone, so I went back into the truck’s cab.

Of course, he thought, this meant I agreed to have a romp with him.

Of course, I got out again. And he drove off and left me.

I was alone in the silent dark, in the middle of nothingness and nowhere, in the literal midst of no man’s land… and captivated by the still moment of exquisite Presence. Someone was watching out for me because I felt awe instead of fear.

Not too long after, I saw small lights undulating their way to me on the curvy road. In the several minutes that followed, I wondered how a speeding vehicle could see me in the dark and stop, and who was in the vehicle?

I decided to trust fate about the passengers — most people I met weren’t loonies like that trucker. Anyway, I didn’t have a lot of choices.

About how to highlight my physical existence, I remembered I had a matchbook with fewer than 20 matches in my backpack. As the lights drew closer, I lit one, single match, after another.

The driver stopped.

Much to my delight, the man spoke fluent English and was a perfect gentleman. He told me that all hotels in the port city would be booked by now. He dropped me off at a hotel in a nearby town where I could easily catch a ride the next morning in time for a boat.

Then he paid for my hotel room. No strings attached!

Actually, even though I never asked, countless people I met along the way gave me accommodations during my European trek. In addition to paying for several hotel rooms, twice I was given an apartment to myself for an entire month, once in Paris and another in Vienna, plus extended weeks at people’s homes. I believe they understood the travel adventure and wanted to help a young sojourner. All for free, asking nothing in return.

I can’t imagine how I would’ve spent the night in a port city with no vacancies and the endless time trying to figure out what to do if it weren’t for the incident with the trucker and the kind man who helped. Blessings are often in disguise.

I didn’t let fear persuade me to make a bad choice, and it worked out for the best.

Bullies, no matter what their position, don’t have to win unless we let them.


“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King Jr.


Perhaps there’s a seemingly impossible situation where you feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Maybe it appears to be someone else’s fault.

Somehow you got yourself into it, and somehow you can get yourself out.

There’s always a way out. Trust yourself and listen to the voice within for guidance.

My mother frequently said, “Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

As you’re finding your way, look for the silver lining, too. It’s there. 

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and courage to live your dreams?
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I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

iT waz oNe of tHOse Dayz… and I Feel Great Anyway!

January 14, 2019

I’ve given countless workshops, but I never had more enthusiasm than I had while putting the one together last week. In addition to preparing for the workshop, I lovingly made food for nine people, cleaned and decided it was time for several house upgrades, etc., etc.

The night before the workshop, I awoke way early with less than two hours of sleep, but I didn’t feel tired.

I LOVED the workshop on Saturday, had an essential time out on Sunday and then Monday I jumped right into a full schedule.

Apparently because of all my activity, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and things got wonky.

Usually, I write this blog in advance, with a couple of days to edit and mail it to my list a little after 7 AM.

I didn’t get up until 7:30 and had no writing done at all.

A rough draft came together, and I edited between coaching sessions… only to discover after I mailed it that I completely wrote the wrong last name of a dear client.

The client in my first session had a brilliant insight that was so good I was going to write a blog about it. I mean, it even mirrored what I was learning last year. I carefully wordsmithed her ideas as she talked and wrote them down. At the end of her session, I hurried off the phone because of a scheduled call, a woman who’s always on time.

No call came.

Nonetheless, I was in my rush to send the client’s notes from the first session to her. I mixed up her last month’s and this month’s files I was closing and didn’t save her current one. All those wonderful ideas I carefully crafted for her and my future writing — poof! Gone.

While waiting for the call that was very late, another client called to reschedule. We did that, and then I commented about an experience that was happening to him. I soon realized I had been talking to myself. I don’t know if my phone disconnected or his. I called back and got his voicemail.

The woman who was supposed to call me got the time zones mixed up. We had a great conversation. We were starting to talk about her registering for my program when her baby did what babies do after they eat… everywhere. Yes, let’s talk another day.

And so the day continued to go.

However, what interested me throughout the day is the way I felt.

It’s probably a combination of getting tired of years of reacting to a lifetime of crazies and, as a consequence, what I’ve learned about being in present time, that I didn’t trigger an emotional OMG response to any of these.

Add to that the weekend workshop where we were aligning with a higher level of focus, and this was definitely small stuff.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t register that I should be upset or feel self-judgment. I was quite familiar with how those felt having mastered those responses in my past. Instead, I cleaned up the missteps and moved on.

I could’ve been sunning or watching a movie or going to the dentist.

Emotionally, it felt all the same. No charge but interesting to observe. Clean it up and go on to the next thing. I later realized how the missteps were piling up, and I needed a break because I was leaving behind an atypical pile of weirdness.

I felt that I’d been riding a large wave that came to shore, and what a ride it was. However, there were signs it was time to take a breather. Simultaneously, I was able to rearrange my schedule to take a few days for myself.

I know there are things you think you screwed up or aren’t working like you thought they would. Maybe they’re things that didn’t come out right when you said or did them. Some may be big whoppers.

Today you can start fresh. The crazy stuff will one day be a distant memory. No reason to self-flagellate. Realign your energy: be kind, learn and it’s called Next.

If life is working as you imagined, enjoy it guilt-free. You deserve it.

You’re really doing all right. You’re becoming aware of new things. Life moves on, and so can you.

You have a choice. Suffer and make it hard on yourself or choose to live your life with grace and ease.

Hint: the latter takes a load off your shoulders.

With all the missteps I made, I felt better making a decision to take a time out and regroup.

Getting upset is optional and doesn’t help anything.

How can you take a time out for yourself to gain perspective, even if it’s just to take a pause in your own thinking?

 

Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Decide that this is your year!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

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