Archive for the ‘Challenges’ Category

My 12 Survival Lessons From Challenging Times

March 22, 2021

I’m sharing gifts from one of the most challenging times I’ve ever had. Throughout my life, there were lessons that I stubbornly hadn’t learned, and my experience gave me an opportunity to learn them in a condensed amount of time… or potentially lose everything.

I later recognized that these lessons were a shortcut in preparation for me to do what I love in a bigger way. Without really getting their value, I would’ve stayed where I was and sabotaged my future success.

In 2015, many in my town were hit by a devastating flood that washed away both homes and people. The Blanco River in Texas rose from five feet to nearly 41 feet in just four hours.

I was fortunate not to be affected by this directly. However, the effects of a mold outbreak wreaked havoc with my home, walls, furniture, health and income.

Perhaps what I learned may help you, too.

  1. A positive attitude with fear running underneath doesn’t cut it. I had to live focusing only on what’s working and feels good to me – with no luxury to slip into low energy emotions. Feeling good creates momentum for things to work out for the better. Otherwise, because for a while I could barely think straight or talk coherently (sometimes I could only smile, nod and not speak), I could’ve lost everything while immersed in the haze of mold.
  2. One morning, panic completely enveloped me. Knowing that chewing on and regurgitating my problems was a dead end, I shifted to look for solutions and found them. I had to do this for months, often looking at only the next step at a time.
  3. Through this I really learned how to dump fear, even that which runs in the background like a low-grade fever. That I did this still blows my mind… which is where fear lies. Fear isn’t real; it’s in your head. If there’s a situation to be addressed, fear and worry won’t bring you solutions. Plus, if you’re afraid, you open yourself up to others controlling you for their benefit.
  4. I’d been service-minded, caring more about others and putting their needs before mine. To survive, I had to put me first. Only then could I be any help to others. This was a HUGE lesson that I was forced to get. By the way, if you’ve always put yourself first, your lessons may be the reverse – to see the value of giving. Ultimately, it’s about balance between giving and receiving.
  5. I learned not to care about others’ opinions of me. What others think about me is their issue. I have to do what’s right for me. That released an emotional burden of guilt and second guessing myself. Johnny Depp said it well: “Just keep moving forward and don’t give a s— about what others think. Do what you have to do for you.” Sometimes people want to keep you at their level of mediocrity because they’re afraid you’re outpacing them and might kick them to the curb. Don’t buy into others’ fears.
  6. As I was forced to funnel my energy toward taking care of me (if you’re drowning, you’re not in a position to swim over to help others), I became better at discriminating NOMB – None of My Business – and listened to people instead of coaching them to solve their problems. Not that they wouldn’t have wanted help. I didn’t have the energy to give myself away and not have enough left for myself.
  7. I finally valued my feelings so much that I no longer allowed myself to be around negatively directed energy, mine or others, even when people didn’t realize what they were doing. This included trusted coaches who I later realized had drama-based opinions of me going through my challenges. If they didn’t shift, I didn’t judge them. I moved on.
  8. To balance this, creating smooth experiences with others is way, way better. “Watch my manners and use my social skills,” even if I was exhausted, became a mantra.
  9. I stopped trying to explain or defend myself so people would understand where I was coming from. Many were so locked into their viewpoint that they weren’t able to hear what I was saying anyway. I also learned (the hard way) not to listen to them once I realized they were rude or dumping their negative opinions on me. They were neither interested nor able to consider another perspective.
  10. Believing things will work out is an essential foundation for them actually to work… then to shift into knowing everything always works out in my favor, regardless of how things appear.
  11. Maintain my dignity even when I didn’t feel I had any because of my circumstances.
  12. I realized that a reason for occasional light headedness and unexplainable fatigue I had for years was a residual of a severe mold experience from 17 years ago. It would sporadically (good word for mold spores) show up. I had prayed for an answer. I got it and got rid of it.

TIP: 12 Survival Lessons from Challenging Times

You’re reading this, so I know you’re alive and therefore have been through challenging times. What did you learn? Maybe hard to see when you’re in the middle of it, but why is this a blessing in disguise?

There’s always a silver lining. You can see it if you look in the right direction.

When you redirect your focus to feeling good, you’ll create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Step back and allow yourself to see how your business and life are actually falling into place better than ever.
 

By the way, if you’d like to have a better understanding of and solutions for your circumstances, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who long to enjoy life and share their gifts in a bigger way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their passion and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog February 29, 2016

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Feel Like You Missed the Boat? It Wasn’t Your Boat!

March 8, 2021

Ever feel that you missed your boat or your ship has already sailed?

Aka, you missed your opportunity. You blew it. Circumstances are stacked against you, and now what? Humpty Dumpty can’t be put together again. Do not pass Go because your life is one big frustration that’s taking a nosedive from a high diving board into a shallow pool.

Forget this mental noise. Dump all these beliefs because they’re so not true.

You can bounce back from wherever you are, only not in the way you may have thought. (That’s a blessing although it may not seem it.) There are other financial opportunities. That wasn’t the only person or deal in the world. You’re not too old or too stupid. You can get out of a hole if you stop digging.

Despite appearances, there are more ships at YOUR port. You’ll see them if you stop looking at the ones that left.

The universe isn’t limited and neither are you! Life isn’t designed for you, your business, your choices, and the loonies to be perfect. Life is designed for you to grow and expand. This is how shiFt happens.

You have countless opportunities!

If your dream “ticket to paradise” was eaten by the dog or you screwed things up so badly that there’s no turning back, different but better opportunities are waiting for you. And you’re all the wiser because of it.

We learn; we move on. Exit stage left the drama king or queen in us who plays the victim as we beat ourselves up or feel sorry for ourselves. Our good takes its bow on center stage as we open and are willing to receive something better.

I’ve relaunched my life so much, often like a phoenix rising from the ashes, that I lost count of the times I rebooted emotionally, financially and physically. I’m sure you’ve had your share, too.


Lao Tzu said: “New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” Got it?  They aren’t failures.

In the words of former Navy Seal Richard “Mack” Machowicz: “Not dead. Can’t quit.”


If not for one of the seemingly endless, excructiatingly painful times of my life, I would neither be coaching nor writing you now.

A significant crisis was my catalyst for a new direction. I was too beaten down to continue my old ways. During my healing, I discovered how my life experiences, including how to release the pain I was in, groomed me to do well what I do and draw on my history of accomplishments more meaningfully.

What gifts did your challenges bring  you? 

TIP: You didn’t miss the boat! It wasn’t your boat!

The stories you tell yourself about your business and life are what create your feelings of loss, failure, frustration, suffering… or success.

To see the bigger picture with a more positive viewpoint, look back to a time when things went to you-know-where in a handbasket. What good came from it?

No, don’t think about last week’s mishaps or unresolved issues you haven’t been able to wrap your brain (or heart) around.

Look back far enough so you have the benefit of hindsight without the emotional charge.

If you’re stuck, instead of tuning into your defiant side, ask the wise part of you for perspective.

Learn. Be confident knowing that life is on your side. Good comes out of seeming bad just as fire brings necessary ecological change.

Google “benefits of fire” if you doubt this.

How has your business or you emerged better for your challenges?

What boats did you board instead?
 

If you’d like to 
find YOUR boat,
contact me for a a complimentary session:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to enjoy life more,
share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Reposted from Soulgoals’ blog November 10, 2015

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are We There Yet? Are You Waiting for Things to Be Better?

March 1, 2021

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls.

But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.


“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”

Eckhart Tolle


Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin.”

Mother Teresa

If you’d like to 
live life more fully NOW,
contact me for a a compliementary session:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to enjoy life more,
share their gifts

or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 


Reposted from Soulgoals’ blog May 14, 2018

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Change Can Be Messy, Especially in Texas

February 22, 2021

Dear Friend,

Things often fall apart before they come together and can look quite messy in the process… to a new and better way.

I know life looks crazy now, but consider this.

If there’s an infected wound, it must be cleaned first before it can heal properly.

There is a silver lining to our current time of changes, from a virus that quarantined the world to a damaged economy and an overworked energy grid.

Time will reveal more of what that lining looks like after a much needed, overdue cleaning.

The clarion call to respect life is finally being heard. What’s a life worth? Let’s put things in perspective.

  • Respect life of those who are more susceptible to a virus or reopen an economy? Do older lives matter? I watched the Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick say, in essence, that older people should be willing to give up their lives for the sake of the young people’s future economy.
  • I read about a college student who was saddened because of COVID-19. He couldn’t graduate or get a job and had to live with his parents. I thought about the movie I’d seen, 1917, when men his age were getting blown apart in WWI. Not for months, but for over four years.

The process of change and healing often is messy.

Have you ever cleaned a room, or anything, and partway through the process found it looked even messier than when you began? Stuff got moved around, some piled up to be discarded. But then a reorganization shifted the environment to something better.

Some Texans have experienced extreme hardships because of an Arctic blast that left many without power and water. Homes are left flooded. Broken pipes. Broken dreams.

However, although it’s often difficult to see while in the midst of challenges and as many are licking their wounds, somewhere, somehow, this will bring us to better days.

Priorities change. I’ve observed, for example, how many people are taking care of each other more, and there’s a greater sense of community.

If some don’t shift away from thinking about themselves first, they have an opportunity to learn some harsh lessons. This includes politicians.

Things that annoyed us before take a back seat to current needs during stressful times.

Years ago I was in a business transition, and I was worried to tears because I didn’t know what to do. My marketing pipeline of how clients came to me finished months earlier, and I felt emotionally and financially vulnerable, distraught and directionless.

Then a FEMA-level flood came to my town. I ended up with mold in my house and me for six months. This was followed by six months of sleepless nights because of caretaking my sick cat whose weight dropped from 14 1/2# to 4 1/2# in three weeks because of an untreatable thyroid condition.

I asked a teacher of mine in the first few days of what was to be a difficult, year-long journey, “Why did this happen? What was this about?” 

The reply I received was something on the lines of, “You stopped worrying about money.”

I used to have fear running in the background like a software program in a computer that’s always on.

By the end of that year, I learned to let go of fear and worry. They only add to problems and don’t help anything. Amongst other things I learned is to trust that it all works out. Now it’s part of what I coach, and it’s made me a better teacher.

Remember that all of us have things to learn personally and collectively during challenging times.

In addition to people reaching out to each other, could there be other silver linings from the effects of the Texas Arctic blast?

With deep respect for the suffering of my fellow Texans, this event may provide a turning point in the way some Americans consider how we generate energy. While the United States is about to embark on addressing our infrastructure and climate change policies, perhaps more people will be open to alternative energy sources.

What are you learning?

With gratitude,

Virginia

If you’d like help overcoming fear or worry,
so you can enjoy your life more,

contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

www.soulgoals.com

Be Master of Your Fate

December 7, 2020

A family man in his early thirties was happily employed at a well-paying job for seven years. The young couple was ecstatic when they were able to purchase their own home.

Six months later, the business closed its doors. Tired and scared, his three replacement jobs weren’t generating enough income to meet expenses.

During our casual conversation, he detailed reasons why his former job was ideal and unique… and he hasn’t been and wouldn’t be able to find anything that would replace it. His story centered on loss and lack.

An undercurrent of fear crashed against his quiet desperation.

Unbeknownst to him, his portrayal of “telling it like it is” was launching him on a hopeless trajectory of not enough, dooming himself to repeat his cycle of things not working.

I gently brought up alternate perspectives. Other possibilities were available. It would be hard to find them if he thought they didn’t exist.

A couple of days later, I was told that his attitude was much lighter and optimistic. Feeling stuck shifted to how he could find better employment. He started writing plans to follow his passion as a musician.

Don’t fall for the ego’s seduction!
 



The ego is a false identity and a clever bugger. It knows how to bamboozle you into feeling bad about yourself, regret your choices and wonder if your life has any more meaning than a slug.
 



When you believe your sad emotions are telling you the truth, you can get lost in thinking, thinking, thinking, and trying to figure out what you’re going to do about… anything. Everything. That’s the ego for you; but it’s NOT you!

The ego will lure you to doubt yourself into believing that you can’t break free of your situation.

When you buy into negative “logic,” you feel bad. You can feel like you’re on a hamster wheel of you’re not enough, nothing you do is good enough, and you don’t have enough. You obsess and feel like chopped liver (especially unpalatable to vegetarians). You then attract more of the same. The cycle continues.

Remember, you are master of your fate.

Stop arguing with your thoughts of doubt, limit, confusion and fear. Instead, boost your confidence, and appreciate yourself! Look at the good you do and have done.

If you’re not finding positives in your finances or work, look to what you might consider simple things, such as being kind to animals. Build from there. Little steps add up to big ones.
 



It matters not how strait the gate, 
How charged with punishments the scroll, 
I am the master of my fate, 
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley, 1849 – 1903
 



TIP:  Be Master of Your Fate

Listen to conversations that repeat in your head. Journal to let the negative ones go AND continue to write to gain perspective.

Next, write about your ideal outcome and feel the enthusiasm as if it or something better were already happening.

Set an intention that insights and direction will emerge. When they do, take action.

No matter what’s happening in your life, starting now, choose to be the master of your fate.

So be it!

Edited repost from Soulgoals’ Archives December 3, 2015

If you’d like support to change
your circumstances
(it is truly possible!) and 
master your fate,
contact me for a free consultation at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

LisaBeth “LB” Thomas on the Front Page!

December 1, 2020

Journal Profile: LisaBeth Thomas is a behind-the-scenes star

TV producer celebrates decade as co-founder of Texas Women in Business

LisaBeth Thomas at her favorite Austin restaurant, Chinatown. It’s also where the group she co-founded 10 years ago, Texas Women in Business, first met. To Thomas’ surprise, 157 people showed up for the first meeting: 
ARNOLD WELLS / ABJ

I’ve been privileged to coach LisaBeth “LB” Thomas for over 10 years. While she’s always been dynamic, I’ve watch her grow through extraordinarily challenging times.

Within four months, she lost her 14-year business along with her house where her children grew up, and her mom passed away. Although she was homeless as well as financially and emotionally devastated, these experiences planted the seeds that later created her metamorphosis.

In the midst of other accomplishments, this year she harvested one of the fruits that grew from the soil of those hard times — her online course called Outwitting Fear. www.outwittingfear.com

While celebrating 10 years as a co-founder and current Austin chapter president of Texas Women in Business (TWIB), this month she was profiled on the front page of the Austin Business Journal.

When I interviewed her for this blog post, LisaBeth offered these kind words:

“Virginia, you’ve helped me get through these challenges and encouraged me to transform what I’ve learned to impact the world.

“Thank you. As my coach and friend for over 10 years, you’ve seen me through even when, after so many losses, I didn’t see the light at the end of many tunnels. I did the work, but you walked me through.”

“Let people know that they can get through their challenges, too.

“Source is our source.”

I’ve taken her online course, and I LOVE it!  Outwitting Fear is a great value, too, because the process can be used repeatedly whenever challenges arise. We can discover and release core fears behind what’s holding us back.

From her website: “I want everyone to find freedom from fear as I did. So that they can have the life and success, and the opportunity to fulfill your dreams, the ones you’ve always had.”

You can watch LisaBeth’s video and find more inspiration by following this link: www.outwittingfear.com

outwitting fear header image

Here’s the link to her Austin Business Journal profile: 

https://bizj.us/1q7d0i

This is how it begins:

By Patricia Rogers – Research Director, Austin Business Journal
Nov 5, 2020, 8:47am EST

A lot can happen in 10 years — just ask LisaBeth Thomas. 

A decade ago, Thomas’s career as a film and video producer was in high gear. Her credits included a wide swath of work from movies like “Hope Floats” to TV shows “Real Life with Gerald Mann,” plus commercials like a campaign celebrating the 20th anniversary of Amy’s Ice Creams.

Referrals, such as from GSD&M to produce Anheuser-Busch commercials for the Keep Texas Beautiful recycling campaign, fueled growth that turned her little Austin production company, LBTJ, into a seven-figure agency handling everything from marketing to media buys.

But of her creations, she is most proud of being one of the original five founders of Texas Women in Business, a nonprofit women’s group dedicated to fostering personal and professional growth along with pooling resources to give back to the community through philanthropy. The group celebrates its 10-year anniversary in 2020.

“[We] took the idea to 20 of our friends, and from there it grew to Houston and Lubbock — and 10 years later, we’re still here,” said Thomas, who is once again leading the charge as chapter president during its anniversary year. Collectively, the Austin chapter has donated more than $40,000 since its start.

For this special year, TWIB has partnered with the governor’s office and women’s groups across the state to create an awareness campaign and fundraiser to help fight human trafficking. The “Not On Our Watch|TX” campaign will culminate with an event at the Texas State Capitol next June.

Thomas is also rebuilding her life and her business after a 2015 divorce forced her to shutter the company and sell her home. Her mother also died around the same time, leaving LB — as Thomas is called by friends — devastated, homeless and jobless. She recalls keeping it all to herself and how liberating it was when she finally opened up about her struggles to the TWIB faithful and faced her fears.

“My identity was completely tied to the business, so I thought their love and respect for me was because of the business,” Thomas said. As she worked through her own insecurities, Thomas began to understand how much unconscious fears had sabotaged her and influenced her actions. Thomas has taken what she has learned from her own journey and turned it into a motivational program to help others called Outwitting Fear.

Now, Thomas sees herself as a corporate dropout, preferring instead to pursue opportunities on her own. Thomas is producing again. She calls herself The Big Cheese and her new production company is called Big Cheese TV.

What productions are you working on now? Right now, I’m working with a technology company and we are creating the first “shoppable” hunting and fishing show. You literally can watch the video and click any item you see and are able to read about it or buy it right then. It is very cool.

What are your three favorite productions you had a hand in? “Hope Floats” with Sandra Bullock. Montana Rib & Chop House, we flew Pat Green up to Montana to shoot the commercial — so fun. Grand Roatan Caribbean Resort, we shot Conni Reed of Consuela at the resort. She was being photographed for the cover of Austin Woman Magazine so we did some behind-the-scenes footage and also created commercials and videos for the resort while we were at it.

I have to add a fourth. We produced all of Amy’s Ice Creams 20th anniversary commercials and we had a blast.

What do you like most about your career? I love producing. I have a gift of seeing what’s in the client’s head and creating a film strip in my mind and then bringing it to life.

What has helped or hindered your career? Creating long-lasting relationships has been instrumental. What hindered me is thinking I could do it all. So, when my husband/partner and I divorced, I should’ve gotten someone to handle the operations and let me do what I do best. I thought I could do it all and that impacted my creativity.

What inspires you? Seeing people go for it. We all have setbacks, but what inspires me is when someone turns that setback into something life changing for them or for others. Or when they face their fears or hurts, that’s when you heal.

How would you describe your management style? Making sure everyone feels valuable and what they say or do matters.

How do you start your day? A cup of French-pressed coffee, about 15 minutes by myself in the courtyard then David and I do devotions. Even if I’m traveling, we call and do them together.

Search Results for “LisaBeth Thomas” – Austin Business Journal (bizjournals.com)

Titles: Owner and founder, Big Cheese TV; co-founder and current Austin chapter president, Texas Women in Business

Age: 61

Hometown: Stevensville, Michigan

Family: Three children, Sarah, 37, Paul, 28, and Kacey, 27; four grandchildren

Education: Bachelor’s degree in marketing, Central Michigan University; studied at Lee Strasberg School of Dramatic Arts in New York City

Phone: (512) 923-4574

To read more: https://bizj.us/1q7d0i

If you’d like help transforming your challenges
into successes, 

contact Virginia for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 
Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Melt the Wicked Witches in Your Life… and be free

September 14, 2020

 

 

“I’m ready, said Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Glenda the Good Witch replied: “Then close your eyes. Tap your heals together three times, and think to yourself, ‘There’s no place like home.'” Ah, the power of intention!

In the movie The Wizard of Oz., the young girl Dorothy had to deal with many challenges to find her way back home, many of them created by the Wicked Witch.

But it was rough going until she realized that she always had the power within her to return.

One turning point came when it appeared there was no way out of a fiery disaster. I mean, that wicked witch was going to kill them all, including Toto the dog! She started by setting on fire Dorothy’s dear friend the Scarecrow, who was made of straw.

Forgetting I’d seen this story countless times, I was shocked. How could they get out of this predicament? There seemed to be none. I couldn’t think of any.

Here’s where the magic of life steps in.  There was a solution, but one they couldn’t have figured out.

To save her friend from the flames, Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him; some of it landed on the witch. Dorothy had no idea what her action would do.


Wicked Witch of the West: 
“Don’t throw that water. (The witch screams.) You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting, melting. Oh what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! I’m going! Oh! Oh!”

And the witch was dead!

Surrounded by the Wicked Witch’s minions, Dorothy apologized for this unintended consequence. However, everyone rejoiced and broke into song, “Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.”


Even if it appears that there’s no way out, there is. Life can step in and provide solutions that you couldn’t imagine.

Just like in Star Wars where a ragtag group defeated the Empire. Just like how a good, little girl like Dorothy and her friends melted the witch…

You can get over any hurdles in your path, too.

There is a way of breaking free to enjoy the life, business or work of your dreams. There is a better way than trying to make things happen, trying to figure things out or getting tired of trying.

We’re all wired to grow and reach beyond where we are now, and we can learn how to consciously create something greater.

Believe you can, and you can. And you don’t even have to tap your heals together three times, unless you want to.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please share.

 

If you’d like help with the Wicked Witches in your life,

contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

 

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Originally posted on June 26, 2018

Christmas In July. You Make A Difference.

July 27, 2020

 

A few days ago, someone found my Soulgoals’ post from December 2018 and commented, “This is just what I was looking for online. Thank you.”  If the commenter is reading this, thanks to you, I’m sharing this post again. Perhaps it will make a difference in other’s lives, too.

Need a lift? Life getting you down? Mistakes or questionable choices you’ve made seem to be piling up? Or perhaps you’re doing great and would love to feel even better.

The holiday classic, 1946 movie “It’s a Wonderful Life” can put your life in perspective.

In case you missed it, when George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stuart, hit rock bottom and was ready to jump off a bridge and end his life, Clarence the angel appeared.

Just before committing suicide in the midst of his profound discouragement, George thought that maybe it would’ve been better if he was never born.

Words being powerful, Clarence got the idea to show him what life would be like for others if that were true.

Here are some quotes from the movie:

CLARENCE (to himself): Hmm, this isn’t going to be so easy. (to George) So, you still think killing yourself would make everyone feel happier, eh?

GEORGE (dejectedly): Oh, I don’t know. I guess you’re right. I suppose it would have been better if I’d never been born at all.

CLARENCE: What’d you say?

GEORGE: I said I wish I’d never been born.

CLARENCE: Oh, you mustn’t say things like that. You … wait a minute. Wait a minute. That’s an idea. (glances up toward heaven) What do you think? Yeah, that’ll do it. All right. You’ve got your wish. You’ve never been born.

Scenes followed where George was able to see the difference he made in people’s lives. Here are some examples.

CLARENCE: Your brother, Harry Bailey, broke through the ice and was drowned at the age of 9.

GEORGE: That’s a lie! Harry Bailey went to war! He got the Congressional Medal of Honor! He saved the lives of every man on that transport.

CLARENCE: Every man on that transport died! Harry wasn’t there to save them because you weren’t there to save Harry.

You see, George, you’ve really had a wonderful life. Don’t you see what a mistake it would be to throw it away?

George began to see the difference his life made when he saw the impact he’s had, not only on his brother’s life, but on the lives of friends, family and others.

GEORGE (exasperated while talking with a dear friend who doesn’t recognize him… because he hadn’t been born): Seen your wife? I’ve been to your house a hundred times.

ERNIE: Look, bud, what’s the idea? I live in a shack in Potter’s Field, and my wife ran away three years ago and took the kid … and I ain’t never seen you before in my life.

George discovered that without keeping his well-meaning but scattered Uncle Billy on track, he didn’t do so well. 

MA BAILEY: When’d you see him last?

GEORGE: Today, over at the house.

MA BAILEY: That’s a lie. He’s been in the insane asylum ever since he lost his business. And, if you ask me, that’s where you belong.

CLARENCE: Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?

GEORGE: Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don’t care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I want to live again. I want to live again. Please, God, let me live again.

And when George returned to his life, he found that his crisis was solved with help from friends.

Regardless of your ups or downs, you make a difference.

If you have pets, they know it. So do many others.

Even if you think you’re all alone, that stranger who you smiled at felt better. Or maybe you extended a kindness by letting someone’s car go in front of you, and they felt grateful — only you didn’t know it. Or you took a moment to listen to someone who needed to be heard.

In small ways and big ones, you do matter and make a difference.

If you look past outer experiences, circumstances and limiting perceptions of yourself, you can let yourself see that you matter and you really do have a wonderful life.

Even if we’ve never met, I’m grateful for you, too!

You’re alive, which means you have a purpose for being here.

With gratitude,

Virginia

Is there someone who you’d like to know that they make a difference? Please share.

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I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
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their Soul’s goals.

 

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Change and Healing Can Be Messy

June 18, 2020
 

Dear Friend,

Things often fall apart before they come together… in a new and better way.

I know life looks crazy now, but consider this.

If there’s an infected wound, it must be cleaned first before it can heal properly.

There is a silver lining to our current time of changes, from a virus that put the world in quarantine to Black Lives Matter protests to a damaged economy and upcoming elections.

Time will reveal more of what that lining looks like after a much needed, overdue cleaning.

The clarion call to respect life is finally being heard. What’s a life worth? Let’s put things in perspective.

  • Respect life of those who are more susceptible to a virus or reopen an economy? Do older lives matter? I watched the Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick say that older people should be willing to give up their lives for the sake of young people’s economy.
  • I read about a saddened college student because of Covid. He couldn’t graduate, get a job and had to live with his parents. I thought about the movie I’d seen earlier this year, 1917, when men his age were getting blown apart in WWI. Not for months, but for over four years.
  • For centuries, the cries and despair of slaves and black people have been ignored by white people and others who are privileged. Then came the tipping point where enough is enough. Actually, it’s been more than enough for too long of a time.

The process of change and healing often is messy.

Have you ever cleaned a room, or anything, and partway through the process found it looked even messier than when you began? Stuff got moved around, some piled up to be discarded. But then a reorganization shifted the environment to something better.

As we watch this time of change, remember that all of us have things to learn personally and collectively during challenging times.

What are you learning?

With gratitude,

Virginia

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Guilt, Know-It-Alls, Being #1 and Challenging Times

May 11, 2020

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

It was a way others could control her. If they could disempower her through feeling guilty, she could kowtow to their ways and do and be what they wanted.

Because she was used to feeling guilty, especially when my client became #1 in her territory, business associates and family triggered those familiar feelings.

She felt that she was doing something wrong by being successful.


Unconsciously, here’s the message others sent: if I make you doubt yourself or feel bad about yourself, I’ll bring you down to a place where your success no longer makes me feel uncomfortable. Who do you think you are? What’s wrong with you? Be more like me… and whine about how life’s unfair.


People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful and making more money than them, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success (she received negative input from others), her sales slipped. A part of her was trying to stop being a target that resulted in guilty feelings.

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their fear and disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, anger, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of a concern of missing calls from prospective customers. Her belief was that working hard is the road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before in childhood, she recalled that her mother and brother had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this coaching session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

There are many ways you can feel imprisoned, especially during a pandemic.

But good things can emerge during challenging times.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

Make the most of this moment. Isolation can give birth to unimaginable heights.


You think you’re challenged? Look at Nelson Mandela’s life (1918 – 2013; passed away at 95):

  • Mandela, as a young lawyer, joined the African National Congress (ANC) in 1944 to advocate for an end to South African apartheid, an oppressive system of government built on racial segregation. 
  • In 1963, he and other cohorts were sentenced to life in prison.
  • He spent 18 years in the cell, seen above, that was 43 square feet.
  • The floor was his bed, and he used a bucket for a toilet.
  • He was forced to do hard labor in a quarry.
  • He was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes.
  • He could write and receive one letter every six months.
  • In 1990, having served 27 years in prison, he was released by South African President de Klerk.
  • In 1993, he won the Nobel Peace Prize with de Klerk.
  • Mandela became president of South Africa in 1994.

 

P.S. Know someone who might benefit from this post? Please share.

Think about you on the other side of the pandemic.
Can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with the old way you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously create your life?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary session so 
you can start fresh, contact me at

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Updated from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on November 6, 2017

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.