NEW: Trying to Fix, Rescue, Teach Others? Please Stop!

My linen closet after I edited it.

Earlier this year, I watched a show called The Home Edit on Netflix. It inspired me to massively reorganize my home.

I let go of 2/3rds of my clothes and shoes. I threw away bags of stuff, sold some, and brought countless carloads to Goodwill.

For a variety of reasons, they no longer fit who I am now.

I categorized what was left (grouping similar items together in the same area). I bought containers so everything on my shelves had their own place. I stepped back to look at all my rooms, closets, drawers and cupboards with an eye for them to be aesthetically pleasing. The end goal is to maintain the system.

There’s not a paper on my desktops.

Following was the yard edit. I cut and dumped the equivalent of truckloads of pruned trees and branches.

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Months of this focus led me to ask questions about editing my life.

How was I using my time? Why were individuals in my life? I paid attention to attitudes, beliefs, patterns, actions of myself and others. When did I feel unhappy or stressed? What did I like or just put up with?

When I honestly paused to see, I admitted to myself what didn’t serve me.

I saw where I was taking care of others above taking care of me. For logical reasons: they needed me, my help, something.

…and regularly being on that vibrational frequency was interfering with my ability to create a life that I choose.

It was time for me to draw the line and stop tolerating the vibrational dissonance.

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“Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you’ve been saying you want. And when you do, these things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance… That which is like unto itself is drawn.“

Abraham-Hicks

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Why did some drain my energy?

I learned from YouTuber Richard Grannon regarding narcissists that “you’re dealing with a performance to elicit a response from you that caused you to serve them.”

Whaaat?

Some people try to pull you in, to do things for them and satisfy their needs, with their stories, neediness or emotions in order to elicit a response from you. This is how they caused you to serve them, in ways you wouldn’t had done if they hadn’t played on your emotions somehow.

They may want your money, your time, your stuff, your sex, your advice, your doing things for them, your emotional support, and on and on.

At the same time, they can be sooo grateful to you for helping them. Yes. It feels good to make a difference by helping others. Until their needs surface again. And again.

I realized I wasn’t helping. They were using me as a band-aid.

Are you rescuing or trying to fix others? You might believe you should do this to be a loving and good friend or family member. However, you may be holding others back from learning their lessons!

If you try to “teach” them, aka rescue or fix them instead of being an example, you may be holding them back spiritually.

Consequence: they keep coming back to you for help, and your enabling doesn’t motivate them to learn their lessons.

Ask yourself. Is the relationship 50-50 or more like 90-10, you giving more than receiving?

You can let go of the toxicity and drama in your life. Maybe you’ve outgrown that, and it’s no longer a fit.

Of course, be willing to extend a helping hand!! However, if your hand gets tired from the repetitive performance, here’s an option.

HAVE COMPASSION. BLESS OTHERS.

LET THEM KNOW YOU BELIEVE IN THEM TO FIND A WAY THROUGH THEIR SITUATION.

BUT DON’T DO THE WORK FOR THEM.

Be empowered. Happy. Surround yourself with supportive people who love you for who you are, not because of how you can serve them.

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Ready to be free of helping others more and helping yourself less? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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7 Steps to Live Your Best Life

What would it take to live your best life?

What would it look like? There’s a part of you that has had the courage to see it, maybe in spite of your logical thinking of what’s possible. Maybe in your daydreams. Maybe in quiet whispers of the private recesses of your mind. Maybe in your prayers in the middle of the night.

Don’t be too quick to dismiss those visions. Your best life may reveal itself in those wishes and desires and could be a clue to your future.

Where can you go to find your answers? Start by listening to yourself! 

Here are seven steps to help you LIVE your best life: 

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Write about your ideal life. How do you see yourself in that life? There’s a great deal more power in writing than just thinking about it! 
3. Write what your life is like right now.
4. Ask your soul, your innermost essence of wisdom, for clear communication. Listen for the answers. Yes, you can do this.
5. What steps can you take to springboard you from what’s happening in your current life to your ideal life, your best life?
6. Take consistent action – even if it’s small steps toward the tiniest view of something better.
7. Choose to make changes gently, with grace and ease.

When you are open to receive, your answers may differ from what you now think and may come at unexpected moments.

At first, they may not make sense. You may glimpse a piece rather than the whole puzzle. You may see an image rather than words or experience feelings like relief, peace, gratitude or joy.

Don’t judge them. You’re opening communication and learning the language of how your soul, your sacred beingness, is talking with you. If you’re not sure what the answers mean, ask again.

Take a moment now.

Ask your soul to speak up: LOUDLY so you can hear; CLEARLY so you understand without a shadow of a doubt. It speaks in its own way and timing.

The time to be afraid of the bogeyman is gone.

A rose proudly shares its beauty, even though its life is short. A tarantula boldly lives its life for what it is – a tarantula. No matter what opinion you have of yourself, you are beautiful and capable of creating a wonderful life.

It’s time to live your best life. Empower yourself by asking your soul to speak up – then listen – and act. 

Believe.

Edited excerpt from May 13, 2011 Soulgoals’ post 

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If you’d like support 
to clarify and live your best life, 
contact me
for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-Free Session
by phone.
Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to enhance their lives or share their gifts 
in a BIGGER way but
don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

15 Ways to Be a Person of Value

This Soulgoal Missive was sent to my mailing list in September 2002.

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“Try not to become a person of success, but a person of value.”

Albert Einstein

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What makes someone great in your eyes? Footprints are etched on the sand of time through action. Preceding this comes a person of value.

We are works in progress. Step by step our lives become more real and meaningful. As we live our truth, we provide greater service to others. As Jesus said, “He that will be great among you let him serve.”

Being great is not just about what we do; it’s who we are and the choices we make. Following are some that are important to me. Few live all of them fully at any one time. They are wonderful to aspire to if we choose and when the timing is right. 

1. Live authentically. Ring like a whole bell (ring true) vs. a cracked bell (looks like it should ring purely, but if you really listen, it’s off). Do not live an act because of a title or a role played in society or home or work or church. Be yourself. Follow the drumbeat of life you hear. 
2. Follow your heart’s desire in everyday life. Everyday do something you love to do. Do what you were born to do, your mission, your calling – regardless how small the action. Live your dharma.

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“To live is so startling that it leaves little time for anything else.”
 
Emily Dickinson

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3. Courageously face and release core emotional baggage so you can live a life with freedom and maturity. Unmask and be true to your emotions and feelings, for keys to YOUR truth lie here. You are having a human experience: emotions and feelings are part of this and tools to discover who you are, what you are doing here, and how you are to serve.

4. Be a friend to yourself and others. Hold space for others to be and discover themselves and grow. Be non-judgmental and detached, yet present, caring, and supportive for others’ and your own life processes.

5. Be willing to explore intimacy with yourself, others, and the world rather than avoid relationships or just share the same space. Our greatest challenges and rewards come from relationship with others.

6. Keep your mind open, flexible, deep, and growing. Be an outside-the-box thinker. Allow new ideas to be possible so your life can grow.

7. Be financially mature and stable. Monetary difficulties may be caused from having an eight-year old make your financial decisions. The significance of addressing this issue means you have come to peace with some child part of yourself as well as claiming your place in the world.

8. Be spiritually awake and grow in YOUR truth, not a dogma you’re taught or what others have said about you. YOU matter because you value you. It doesn’t matter what others think. Ask yourself what you really know that’s true and positive; live your answer fully. Take time regularly to commune with the Highest aspect of Life.

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Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time.
 
Longfellow

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9. Know how to have fun, and take time to enjoy yourself. Humor and enjoyment are keys to life.

10. Practice physical health awareness and take care of your body. Adopt a youthful attitude toward your mind and body, regardless of your age or health; be young at heart. Respect and treat yourself well.

11. Live a balanced life. Too much work or play or any one thing creates a weak foundation. You may keep your balance for a while, but eventually your life may start to fall apart.

12. Live in the present moment. Now is all that exists. To live regretting the past or worrying about the future creates needless fear and stress. Yesterday and tomorrow are simply another Now. Now is the only moment to live, heal, and create the life you choose. Use time wisely rather than be controlled by it.

13. Say Yes to life in all its forms. Acknowledge you and others have a physical body in a third dimensional world that has joys and sorrows, pain and happiness, good and bad. Embrace it all. Each is an aspect of the bigger picture. Be sure to include the beauty.

14. Live life to its fullest. Don’t shy away from living. Have the courage to be who you are and enjoy life. Live passionately and creatively. Do your best.

15. Be love. Live with a grateful heart.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to choose three areas you’d like to focus on for the remainer of the year. Write them somewhere special, and review them periodically as a reminder.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia   

If you’d like help to change
the way you see yourself,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

The Mindset of Will Smith who Bungee Jumped into the Grand Canyon

On his 50th birthday, actor Will Smith bungee jumped off the side of a helicopter into the Grand Canyon.

“Don’t look down. Never look down,” he can be heard saying before the jump.

Then, with crowds watching and cameras rolling, he let go, pushed himself off, dove backwards with arms outstretched and had the time of his life.

During the jump he exclaimed, while sandwiched between the magnificent Grand Canyon below and expansive clouds above, “This is gorgeous. This is gorgeous… This is some of the most beautiful stuff I’ve ever seen in my life. This is gorgeous. Beautiful. Beautiful… From pure terror to absolute bliss’

After several minutes he said, “I’m ready for them to put my a_ _ down, though. I can tell you that much.”

Here’s the jump on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uilQxtVvpQ

Will Smith was born on September 25th, 1968, to a middle-class, Philadelphia family. Newsweek has called him “the most powerful actor in Hollywood.” He’s won four Grammy Awards and has also been nominated for two Academy Awards and four Golden Globe Awards.

What’s the mindset of someone who creates a life like this? Read his quotes below. No limits for this man!

“I want to represent the idea that you really can make what you want … I believe I can create whatever I want to create.”

“The first step before anyone else in the world believes it is you have to believe it.”

“The first step is you have to say that you can.”

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions.”

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

“Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity.”

“Greatness is not this wonderful, esoteric, elusive, godlike feature that only the special among us will ever taste; it’s something that truly exists in all of us.”

“Life is lived on the edge.”

“You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say I’m gonna build the biggest, baddest wall that’s ever been built. You say, I’m gonna lay this brick, as perfectly as a brick can be laid, and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall. It’s difficult to take the first step when you look at how big the task is. The task is never huge to me, it’s always one brick.”

“I don’t know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived.”

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Follow Your Passion: My Impromptu Chat with Musician Ali Pervez Mehdi

 

Doing what you love makes it easier to enjoy a happy life.

I was inspired while talking with Ali, who performed this weekend at the Energies Balanced Spring Yoga Retreat and is singing in the above photo.

My dear friend Amie Maciszewski introduced us. She’s pictured above playing her sitar with the group she founded, Sangeet Millennium.

“It’s all positive.”

“Even the negative is positive,” Ali told us, as I realized I better grab paper and start taking notes. This man exudes happy energy with a ready smile that lights up a room.

He said he knows we’ve heard this before, but it’s about the journey and not the destination.

As he explained, life is the journey. The idea is to enjoy it now and not wait for happiness in the future.

“I used to work in IT and a lot of other jobs, but I wasn’t really happy. So I decided to follow my passion and do what my family has done for generations – play music.”

When he agreed that I could write about him, I wrote the spelling of his name. Ali Pervez Mehdi.

I casually mentioned that I have a CD of beautiful music by a man named Mehdi, and Ali shared a story that he was Mehdi’s grandson.

Really. Wow! They were serious when they told me Ali comes from generations of musicians.

In case you’re not familiar with Mehdi, I did a quick search for you. His gold selling albums have earned him world-wide recognition, which led him to open for Cirque Du Soleil and the California Philharmonic Orchestra amongst other honors. My experience is that his breathtaking music transports us body, mind and spirit.

Music has been Ali’s passion, but he had never committed to it… until he did. “Even though my jobs paid well, I realized this is not me. So I left them.”

Now he travels the world from an array of U.S. cities to Dubai and beyond, singing, performing and being a crew member for other leading musicians.

The pay isn’t the same but he LOVES every minute of it. He’s one of the happiest people I’ve ever met.

To hear the purity of his voice and joyous performance made the audience happy with his choice, too.

He said last year’s problems don’t matter.

When Amie asked which problems, he replied “any problem!”

Are you doing what you love?

Your happiness depends on it.

If happiness and doing what you love have been playing hide and seek, you can bring them to light by a simple shift of focus. Instead of concentrating on what you don’t like, look for what you’re grateful for, what lights you up or feels fun.

Be easy on yourself and enjoy the ride. This is a track that leads to doing what you love.

 

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Pilates + Doing What You Love = Saturday 10/24

Improve Your Moves and Find Your Groove

a Workshop to Align Your Body and

Design Your Life Doing What You Love

When you’re aligned inside and out, your body, thoughts and feelings are strengthened and balanced for you to live the life of your dreams… and your confidence goes through the roof.

Combining Pilates and Do What You Love coaching, you will activate your core support, in body, spirit and daily life, to awaken your natural intelligence. When your core is alive, your posture improves – in how you move your body and find your groove – so you live a passion-filled life.

Energized by the synergy of Lindsey and Virginia, you will come away with breakthrough insights and practical actions to live true to you.

You WILL:

•  Release tension in body and mind as you dump physical and emotional stress.
• Create a foundation for effective movement and flexibility to help you move through your life with ease.
• Find your groove and design a passion-filled life that YOU create where you’re richly compensated doing what you love.
• Learn a simple tool to transform any confusion and worry into clarity, inspiration and action.
• Enjoy freedom by getting unstuck – physically, emotionally and mentally.
• Discover the #1 obstacle holding back your success and an easy technique to stop it.
• Experience the power of masterminding and how to access it to manifest your goals and dreams beyond your wildest expectations.
• Reveal how support can help you achieve your goals faster and easier than trying to do everything on your own.

Saturday, October 24, 1-5:30 PM

Vitality Pilates Austin, 508 E. 53^rd Street, Unit 100, Austin, TX 78751 

Your investment to live the life you were born to enjoy is $150. Space is limited. Friends and family are welcome!

Call Lindsey now to register at (512)921-2921.

Who Are Lindsey and Virginia?

Lindsey Brannan was introduced to Pilates in 1998 while studying at the School of Nashville Ballet. Two years later, an injury ended her dance career, and Pilates took on a new purpose – to build strength and heal her own body. Having received multiple certifications in Pilates, she now helps others to live pain-free.

Virginia Goszewska (go-SHEF-ska) suffered from poor health, finances, marriage, career and everything else that could cause frustration. Since 1992, following decades in international businesses and non-profits as well as her discoveries of how to enjoy a fulfilling life and business, she now helps people to share their gifts, but don’t know how or feel stuck, while being richly compensated doing what they love.

STOP GIVING YOUR POWER AWAY & LIVE YOUR DREAMS

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras. Translated: who you are isn’t good enough. A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates the voice that chatters in the back of your head.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.” Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. If you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll never be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

• Trying to please others and being worried about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
• Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
• Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
• Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
• Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
• Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE. 

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you: 

1. Go within and ask your question.
2. Listen and write your answers.
3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 1

The top two tactics used by repressive regimes like China are to withhold information, which is harder to do with the internet, and stop people from expressing themselves. 

What about your expression? 

As tempting as it might be to tell your boss, clients, family or friends that they’re idiots in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, it may not be wise. There are times to speak up and times to put things in perspective. 

However, if they cross the line by treating you like yesterday’s trash, then it’s time to express yourself… with as much grace and ease as possible. 

When the pain of withholding is greater than the pain of dealing with a situation, it’s time to express yourself.

This awakening is now happening in the Middle East as expressed on a YouTube video Syria: stand with the protesters.  “They will not be butchered into silence and submission.” 

They have chosen to live their own lives. The consequences of remaining silent surpassed the cost of speaking up. Many are paying a high price for the freedom to express.

I learned this lesson while existing in “a living hell.”

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For the longest time I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

It took me a while to realize I lived with a master manipulator. He knew my vulnerabilities and used them to intimidate and emotionally undermine me while bending me to his will. 

I was bullied to let go of my business and with it financial freedom. He listened in on my phone conversations. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

The stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t even able to speak my words in the right order or have physical energy to move. Enabling this was a belief there was something wrong with me.

Human traffickers and terrorists use similar tactics. Intimidate with threats and play on low self-esteem to create a lack of confidence and dread. Immobilize people through fear of what might happen. 

My unhappiness induced me to question and think.  

There was his reality, but was it true? 

How did I get here? I made a bad choice which put me on a sorrowful path. Regardless of good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away. Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority. Even at risk of losing worldly goods. 

Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a mistake. Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up TO MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient “silence and submission.”

When I got honest with me, changes occurred which made my exit easy. I was packed and gone in three weeks. 

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

How can you access your truth? It’s always within you.  

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Call forth your soul. It’s not complicated to do. It’s another aspect of you!
3. Request clear communication.
4. Ask questions, such as: 

• Why are things happening in my life this way?
• What’s the truth about a situation?
• What’s the best direction for me to focus on now?
• What action is best to take?

Write or draw your answers. Journaling is a useful tool to speak out and let you know what’s happening within. 

If you need more clarity, ask again. If it doesn’t come in that moment, it will be made known to you at a better time.

 Ready to make your life easier?

• Choose to learn your lessons GENTLY.
• Choose to make changes with ease and grace.
• Choose to take action on your inner guidance.

 The more you speak up, the more you’ll live your life on your terms. 

In Part Two, you’ll learn 7 steps to LIVE your life and 5 ways to stop giving your power away.