Archive for February, 2011

KINDNESS, ANGER & FRANK SINATRA

February 28, 2011

 How would you feel if this were you?

 A friend waited behind a car as it sat through not one but TWO green lights. Well, he had several choice words for that driver.

 Angrily he drove his car next to the driver and a little girl who sat next to him. The man turned to my friend and said, “I have to take my daughter to the hospital, but I don’t know which way to turn. Can you help me?”

 His anger and judgment vaporized with this new perspective.

 While waiting at a counter in a small shop, the woman next to me wanted to reclaim a lay-away that had been there for several months. The clerk very politely explained that their policy was for 30 days, she didn’t have a record of it, and the owner wasn’t present.

The customer responded by heartlessly debasing the clerk for being rude  which she wasn’t being at all. After she left, the clerk told me that the customer had no idea of the challenges in her life and how much courage it took for her just to come to work.

 If the customer looked beyond her self-interests, she may have handled things differently.

Then there’s this story of kindness with Frank Sinatra.

 At a party hosted by Frank Sinatra at his ex-wife’s home, a young woman accidentally knocked over one of a pair of alabaster birds and smashed it. His daughter Nancy began to say how they were one of her mother’s favorites, but Frank stopped her with a look. As 40 guests stared in stunned silence, he quickly walked over to the other bird. He flicked it with a finger to the floor and smashed it, too.  Then he kindly put his around the woman and told her in a way to diffuse the situation and her discomfort, “That’s okay, kid.”

 Ahhh, grace in action.

 From individuals to world politics, I’ve heard many stories this week of missed opportunities for consideration, kindness or communication. An acting manager complicated instead of resolved a situation while treating a customer like a low-life. A delay in a project with no urgent deadline elicited unnecessary rebuke. People locked into a negative viewpoint while refusing dialogue.

 The ego wears many masks including: righteous indignation; superiority posing as the high road; impatience; sticking it to people; projecting one’s issues onto others; belittling; and judgment.

 How do you respond when things don’t go your way and your buttons are pushed?

 Everyone has bad days and maybe you could’ve done some things differently. But, there are times you’ve chosen grace and kindness. You’ve listened; considered other viewpoints before jumping to conclusions; welcomed communication; and allowed people to be themselves although different from you.

 The most important person to be kind and non-judgmental to is you. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

 How does this affect your goals?  When you’re hard on yourself and others, you may repel what you want most or find it slipping through your fingers once you achieve it.

 What can you do about it right now? Just change your perspective – consider another way of looking at things.

 Ask yourself, “What did I learn?”

Fast forward to the present moment as you leave the past behind. Benefit from your lessons and move on to your next adventure. One option is to do it without judgment, with grace.

IF THIS DOESN’T WORK, ALL IS NOT LOST

February 7, 2011

What do you do when you’ve invested a lot of energy into results that don’t happen?

You were really counting on that contract to come through, but now it’s up-in-the-air. A friend said she’d help you move but bailed at the last minute. Your relationship falls apart. Things just didn’t work out the way you thought they should or would.

A freelancer counted on her big client to provide a steady flow of income. She had a realistic expectation this would continue.

Suddenly, she was let go.

After the initial shock, she put it in perspective. She used a journaling exercise found on my blog and had a CEO meeting with God. https://soulgoals.wordpress.com/category/ceo-meeting-with-god/

She realized she now had time to focus on projects and business ideas she’d put off.

Things don’t always work as expected. But change always makes way for something better, regardless of how it appears.

Your income, love, support and results don’t come from only one source. God, the Divine, is your supply. God is never lost and has infinite possibilities. Therefore, if something doesn’t work, new ways are found.

Maybe your change is what it took for you to let go and allow new possibilities to occur.

Sometimes you have to let go to free yourself

 

Remember the proverbial monkey who grasps something in a vase but can’t remove it? The neck of the vase is so narrow that he has to release his grip just to get his hand out.

You’ll get results: your expectation, goal or something better. However, you may need to change your perspective or approach. You may need to let go of your emotional and mental grasp to allow something better to come in.

What you focus on grows. In the past, have you chosen anxiety? Instead, enjoy a childlike trust and curiosity. Look for how the universe is assisting you. Consider it a mystery, and you delight in discovering the answer.

Believe there’s a happy ending, and focus on it. Why not? You probably tried fear and worry, and they don’t produce lasting and fulfilling outcomes.

By the way, about out freelancer. All was far from lost. New jobs appeared through happenstance, and her big client came back a few months later. Her job situation worked out when she let go and shifted her perspective.

.