Archive for March, 2017

Be Careful What You Ask For – Here’s What Happened to This Woman

March 27, 2017

Three months prior, a woman set intentions. However, she didn’t realize at the time how her casual thoughts and wishes would actually turn into things. Specific things.

One day, she woke up thinking about doing karaoke, singing at weddings or with a band a couple of times a month. After that, she let the thought go and didn’t think about it.

A couple of days later, she complained about how she doesn’t get what she asks for.

Then she mused, “All I want is a date so I know I’ve still got it.”

She also thought about her neighbors and wondered why they put an odd-shaped, kiddie pool on their sloped yard.

Two to three days after that, three guys, who she wasn’t interested in, asked her out.

She told me that she needed to be more specific while setting intentions.

The good news is that mutual friends introduced her to a band, and she became their lead singer.

She enjoyed learning the ropes of being on stage and liked her band members. Being with them opened doors.

“Everything we think sets an intention, whether we know it or not.”

She also noted, “God has a sense of humor.”

The neighbor’s kiddie pool flew  from their yard over the fence into her yard.

She pondered: “God brought it to me, so it’s mine.” Instead, she decided to give it back to her neighbors. She has a sense of humor, too.

As they say, from your lips to God’s ears.

What are you asking for – intentionally or not?

P.S. Know others who could use help in setting clear intentions that bring results? Please share this post.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017
Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

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Why My Girlfriend SCREAMED at Me

March 20, 2017

My friend told me her predicament while on a phone call.

She was out of work, had no money but big dreams. She didn’t want to get a J-O-B because she was afraid it would suck away her time and energy to do what she really wanted.

Frustration ensued because she felt that she was here, her dreams were out there somewhere, and she didn’t know how to get over there.

Realizing the sensitivity of her situation and feeling her distress, I attempted to offer some words of support that might help her.

She replied by SCREAMING at me: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!

Her passionate yet erroneous belief of having to know how to do something before taking action kept her feeling stuck, depressed and hopeless because she couldn’t  figure out a way out.

This happened a few years ago. Currently, she’s working at a job she doesn’t like. She said she’s “matured” and stopped acting out of her helpless, childhood emotions. Although she doesn’t have all her plans figured out, she has a few next steps and is implementing those quite effectively.

Often all you really know is your next step. Think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – his leap of faith.

“You must believe, boy. You must… believe.”

https://www.google.com/search?q=indiana+jones+stepping+off+cliff&ie=&oe=#spf=1  

Letting “I don’t know how to do it”  and “I gotta figure it out” stop you before you start are siren songs that the ego uses to lure you into keeping you small.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something; it insists you must have the big picture before taking action.

This is opposite of how the creative process works.

Robert Fritz wrote this in his book  The Path of Least Resistance:

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

Here’s a practical example of what happened to me.

When I lived in Washington, D.C., I was tasked to find a meeting room for an event. My budget was just a few hundred dollars.

After contacting around 20 hotels and facilities, I learned their rates were  $1,000 to $2,000+ for what we needed. None were willing to negotiate as their facilities booked easily.

I was ready to give up and report  that this was impossible; my statistics of locations and their costs would  substantiate my conclusion.

Instead, I decided to think from the end:

1. Are we going to hold this training here? Yes.

2. This means that a room exists.

3. Find it.

The idea came to me to check out a hotel in Arlington, Virginia, located across the bridge from D.C.

Voila! The room was the exact, right price plus it had parking and easy access to the highway.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Another way of saying this, get out of your head and open yourself to infinite possibilities.

My Mastermind Principle #3 is: I am open to the mastermind leading me, and I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.

The next time someone tries to tell you or you scream at yourself that you can’t take action until you know how to do something, until you can “figure it out,” do what Odysseus was told to do when the sirens called to distract him and his men from their purpose.

Figuratively speaking, put wax in your ears.

Instead, tune into what your inner guidance whispers for you to do. This message is positive, not filled with fear.

Before Odysseus and his men left for home, Circe told Odysseus that he would pass the island of the Sirens who would try to lure the men to their deaths with their tempting song.

She advised him to put wax in the men’s ears, and if he was determined to hear their song, he should be tied to the mast of his ship.

Don’t fall for the song of your ego.  (Pun intended.)

P.S. Know others who spin in circles because they long for change but don’t know what to do?  Please share this post.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results,
All rights reserved.

I Was Shocked When I Learned This about My Mother

March 13, 2017

My mother, who passed away 29 years ago this month, used what I call mantras –  words she repeated so many times that I still know them verbatim.

Because of regular reiteration, I believed and didn’t question some of them. It was  like learning arithmetic tables, but these were impressed on me with far more feeling.

“When I was young, I used to be happy-go-lucky. Then I met your father.”

Because they argued intensely, she started her day with this mantra: “I wonder what that S.O.B. is going to do to make my life miserable today.”  (Note – she didn’t use initials.)

Obviously, she had no idea that her daily proclamations and emotions were what made her life miserable, not anything my father did or didn’t do.

She thought her suffering was my father’s fault, and I accepted it as true, too. I didn’t have an attitude about him. I liked and loved him. At the same time, I saw her perspective and believed her woeful declarations.

Then about 15 years ago, I was talking to one my teachers about how I felt sorry for them. He knew my parents and replied,

“Your mother wanted your father to change so she wouldn’t have to change.”

What?!!??

This was a throw-a-bucket-of-cold-water-in-my-face moment.

It was his fault. That was a given. Never questioned it. She lived a miserable life because of him.

Here’s the kicker.

As long as she complained about and blamed him, she didn’t have to take responsibility for her own emotions and actions. It was his fault. She was the victim.  Pointing her finger at what she decided were his failings absolved her of cleaning up her attitudes, feelings and thoughts.

In a flash, I realized the blaming wasn’t true. She could’ve been happy if she stopped giving him power over the way she felt.

In a shocking moment, for the first time,  I stopped feeling sorry for them.

I realized that my pity (vs. compassion) was condescending and disrespectful of their choices. They decided how to interact with each other. They had complete control over the way they felt. If they chose to argue as a way of life, and if she chose to feel miserable, those were their decisions.

As emotions create reality, she created a “living hell” for herself where she felt “like a prisoner in my own home.” Her life was a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Think about the implications in your life. Who are you blaming for what doesn’t work and how you feel?

  • Do you want others to behave the way you think they should so you can feel good? In other words, do you want others or situations  to change so you can feel happy? Or will you decide to be happy anyway?
  • Do you let others shape your future by getting angry at strangers who drive weird, crazy acting people, politicians or past hurts? Are you blaming yourself? Or will you take command of your own energy because, if you don’t, you block your dreams coming true?
  • What mantras run through your head? I can’t afford it. There’s never enough. What if  I run out of money? Nothing I do ever works out. My life would be so much better if only…

Even if they’re “wrong,” you still can choose  your attitude and how you respond. As like attracts like, how you feel shapes your future.

What does this have to do with your business or work?

Your feelings and thoughts magnetize your experience, so don’t hand the keys of your  emotions to others and “if only” things would be different. Don’t give your power away.

Allowing others to affect how you feel relinquishes the keys to your kingdom   – or queendom – of success, happiness  and ability to enjoy financial freedom.

By the way, blame is one of ego’s greatest tools; no matter where it’s directed, it holds you back.

You choose how you react and feel.

Your future depends on it.

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”  Thích Nhất Hạnh

 

Know others who’d like to take back their power? Please share this blog post.

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

What Do You Do When You Don’t Get No Respect?

March 7, 2017

They had some things in common, like their job and movies, but for most everything else they were opposites. Along with being very opinionated, his lunch buddy also had a strong, negative streak.

Although he got under his skin, my client felt obliged to eat with his co-worker a few times a week because of shared projects. Plus, he didn’t want to eat alone.

The tipping point, however, was the guy’s bad habit. When with a group of people, he would diss my client in a joking way.

This time he’d had enough. Later, he went to his colleague’s cubicle and politely yet clearly expressed that he didn’t like when he did that.

Results? His co-worker hasn’t been around for lunch. For the longest time, what to do about this situation was a quandary. When he stood up for himself, the issue went away.

Freedom.

Eventually, what’s no longer in alignment changes in one way or another.

While you may want to hold onto the status quo and are willing to tolerate that which is intolerable, life won’t let you stay that way for long. Things will change.

Although it can seem easier to complain silently or to others, to justify your reasons for what’s not working, or to act like a car with a dead battery, the strategy of avoidance ultimately gets you nowhere.

Another client experienced disrespect from family members. Her antidote was different.

Instead of being frustrated while resisting and railing against them, she opted to find peace within and to stop trying to control the uncontrollable.

Results? Because she changed her energy from anger to peace, others began to respond to her differently. One person even apologized for his former, rude behavior.

If you put up with things because you feel you must, the world has a way of making you evolve. Life’s personal growth program includes natural disasters, illnesses, accidents, divorce, getting fired, losses, caretaking, and even children.

You can choose to no longer put up with stuff. This means adopting a new perspective or doing something to change before change finds you.

Both clients took action, and neither was better than the other – one was outer, to say something; one was inner, to be at peace.

“Claim Your Energy,”  a segment from my program Resolved for Results, begins with this:

People and activities influence your energy to go up or down. It’s imperative to be vigilant about how you spend your time and with whom as well as what you allow into your heart, thoughts, and environment.  

Why? Because people, beliefs, and activities that suck your life force are energy vampires.   

TIP: When you remove what brings you down (or never let it enter in the first place), you raise your energy. In turn, life treats you better because you treat yourself better.

Respect starts with you respecting you.

What do you do when you don’t get no respect?

The immortal Rodney Dangerfield said, “That’s the story of my life.”

You don’t have to make it yours.

“I get no respect at all. When I was a kid, I lost my parents at the beach. I asked a lifeguard to help me find them. He said, ‘I don’t know kid. There are so many places they could hide.'”

Note: Know someone who might like getting more respect? You’re welcome to share this post.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.