Archive for the ‘Expectation’ Category

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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An Eclipse, Hurricane Harvey & a Bigger Design

August 28, 2017

IMG_0863 (2)

Nature has her way of clearing energy, including that which hibernates unseen for centuries from wars and negativity. Wind and water through floods and rains are some methods she uses to purify as well as encourage people to make changes.

It’s been described to me this way. The planet is a living organism, and nature is like a farmer rotating her crops. There are times we must look for a different place to grow, higher ground.

Speaking of energy, the power of supportive thoughts and prayers makes a difference.

It’s a good time to take a moment now to send positive energy.

In one week, we’ve seen changes from a total eclipse to Hurricane Harvey.

At the beginning of the week, people’s differences evaporated as they came together during a total eclipse.

Days later, differences cease to exist once more as people risk their lives to help friends and total strangers in the worse disaster Texas has seen.

For every experience, however calamitous, there’s always a silver lining. 

While living in New York City, I wondered what could cause people there to shift their attitudes and come together. When 9/11 came along, I got my answer. As we witnessed the worst of humanity, we also saw its best as the world pulled together in support.

Amidst the shock and devastation caused by Harvey, we see courage, selflessness, kindness, caring, respect, compassion, love and people helping people. Humanity at its best.

It often takes things to get really bad before we refocus on what’s real and truly important.

Through crises, we role model to ourselves behaviors that we can continue to choose on a daily basis.

Opinionated soap boxes and self-serving, judgmental attitudes seem petty. Past worries become small.

You’ve experienced challenges; some were life-changing.

Maybe your material things got shuffled around, and life didn’t turn out the way you expected (if that’s even possible for anyone). Your struggles stretched you to the max. The mirror of how you saw yourself was shattered.

The master gardener of life tilled your fields making room for different crops. Better crops.

Look at a current challenge in your business or life.

Step back and put things in perspective. Maybe you have to take so many steps back to get a better view that you feel like you’re falling off a cliff.

If you let go of your preconceived ideas, can you see a bigger design?

You’re learning something. Dodged a bullet you didn’t know was coming. Made changes you prayed for but didn’t know how to make. You grew.

Use your experiences as a course correct for your business, work and life instead of letting them beat you down.

To see a more immense picture, realize that you’re on a rock orbiting a star called our sun that’s 93 million miles away while spinning at nearly 1000 miles an hour. 

By doing so, you can feel something more vast than everyday life as well as your place in the universe.

Put on your energetic, eclipse glasses, see the sun and be open to receive inspired “soulutions.”


P.S. Know someone who might
enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

Let Go of Ghosts

June 5, 2017
mountain bike ghost

A mountain biker rode on a trail she’d been on at least 50 times. During some of those rides, she’d fallen and hurt herself. Because of this history, she was haunted by what the biking community calls “ghosts.” She remembered the injuries, where the obstacles are located that caused her pain and avoided them.

Her experience changed, though, when she did this very same trail with a group of riders who traveled this way for the first time, including a woman who’s a national champion, and were decades younger.

Not having negative memories, they tackled the trail with abandon.

While riding she said to herself, “Let’s pretend I haven’t been on this trail before.”

It was a whole new experience. She quickly rode over obstacles that she’d been avoiding and was unscathed. Didn’t fall down. Didn’t get hurt.

She told me that it’s the same in business.

Don’t let old ghosts from the past, which cause you to hesitate, get in the way of taking action and being successful.

Let go of the bad experiences.

What ghosts can you let go so you can tackle your life, business or work with abandon?

Find a way to create positive momentum so you get through without giving them a second thought.

With gratitude, Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: The Happier Choice

June 7, 2016

anger

A man tried to passive-aggressively manipulate a woman, by attempting to get her to doubt herself, so she would do what he wanted.

An insecure woman controls her friend’s behavior by using her illness and fearful threats of taking away something he needs. He goes along with it because the intimidation clouds his ability to believe in himself and that he can find a solution elsewhere.

A therapist got angry with a peer who didn’t buy into her fear-based bullying which she communicated by demeaning words, raised voice, blaming others and mocking tone.

When change occurs, some people feel they’re losing control. It can feel as if their very life is threatened, and they’ll do whatever it takes to survive.

Chances are the perpetrators won’t see or believe what they’re doing.

Stand at arm’s length if you try to tell them lest they throw a punch. Ever hear the adage about not trying to teach a pig how to fly? A pig can’t fly, and you’ll just irritate the pig.

Yes, forgive them for they know not what they do… and take care of yourself! You have a responsibility to be steward of YOUR life.

You have a choice to be a follower of someone else’s fears and expectations, and give away your power, or think for yourself.

You won’t be truly happy unless you follow the rhythm of your own drum.

In avoiding dealing with situations like these (and there are countless variations), you might believe that when the people disappear into the sunset, it will be happy trails forever more. Not true.

Unless you address your “stuff,” you carry this vibration, these feelings, in your energy field. You’ll attract more of the same type of people and experiences in the future, even if your current situation goes away.

Why?

Life offers you opportunities to grow, release what’s not serving you and be free.

What does this have to do with you and your goals?

If you succumb to fear, you may find yourself doubting your ability to be richly compensated doing what you love.

You deserve much more.

Your TIP is to make the happier choice.

  • Trust yourself. Listen to the voice within and what your gut is telling you. Don’t elevate others’ opinions over your own.
  • Believe in your Self. YOU have a hotline to the Divine. Don’t diss that connection by letting others convince you that they know what’s good for you more than you do.
  • Don’t give away your power to fear and self-doubt (others or your own).

How can you do this?

  • Make choices on your behalf instead of trying to please people or kowtowing to fear. Your choices matter. You matter.
  • Listen to your inner guidance. Even if you’ve been ignoring it for a while doesn’t mean your spirit isn’t available 24/7 to give you nudges as well as to light up the best direction for you to take.
  • Pay attention to how you feel not to what you think you should do based on others’ opinions. Let good-feeling mojo be your guide.
  • Be in the now. The ego will have you long for or regret the past or be afraid of future what-ifs and worse-case scenarios. In the present, you can change your thinking and handle anything. Your power is in this moment.
  • Anticipate the best! Why not? It’s the attitude that brings positive results.

You can achieve your dreams in ways that surpass your wildest imagination. However, you must be a vibrational match to them.

Fear, manipulation, doubt and worry create more of the same. None of these are real.

Remember your Source, the real You, and make the happier choice: loving, supportive, creative, growing, free and in the Now.

Remember this, and you’re unstoppable!

Do you know people you think might benefit from my TIP? Please share. If this TIP offers you insight into squirrely situations, please subscribe.

 

HOW I TURNED MY LIFE AROUND

September 14, 2012

Willie Nelson sings about life going from one crazy thing to another in his lyrics “last thing I needed first thing this morning was to have you walk out on me.” Welcome to what my world – was.

It started innocently a few months ago with my cat waking me up daily at 4:45 AM to go out. I couldn’t get back to sleep, didn’t stop to take naps, and stayed up until midnight. Too many activities and long days fried my adrenals, and I had to take a couple of weeks off from work. With my energy at its lowest and pain from a jammed hip bone at its highest, I received shocking news about a friend that left me reeling.

Because of my exhaustion I was more susceptible to things affecting me, and the downward spiral began. My computer broke. I ordered a new PC only to learn most of my address book had to be manually replaced – this saga continued for five weeks. My AC stopped working in 100° weather. Meantime, my cell phone went awry, and I missed a group coaching call. My headset, mouse and income went kaput, and even my toilet clogged. To say working was a challenge is an understatement.

I kept positive by going to sleep and waking up focused on gratitude and journaled about what was working. However, during the day, I thought about what wasn’t working.

I felt sad resignation as I listened almost imperceptibly to my deceased mother’s mantra “if it’s not one thing, it’s another.” An old program of what-else-can-go-wrong ran in the background.

After a while I lost interest in bouncing back and thought I’d ride it out to the bottom.

HERE’S WHAT I MISSED

Imagine going to work wearing a great pair of shoes and tie or handbag… dressed in shabby pajamas. Likewise, I thought I was upbeat because I gave verbiage to being positive and practiced gratitude in the morning and night. However, my beat up attitude was running like a computer program in the background.

Sandwiched throughout the day between my positive focus, I visualized and felt what I didn’t want – what next? I used my attention and depleted energy to spin around what was wrong instead of what I chose to happen. So, I created more problems.

God was neither punishing or ignoring me. Life didn’t have it in for me. There wasn’t a metaphoric lesson or karma catching up. I wasn’t cursed, and Satan wasn’t interfering. I wasn’t doing anything wrong that needed a pause to redirect. I was enough and doing enough, and I wasn’t doomed for failure. I wasn’t doing any of the gazillion conclusions people erroneously come to when they wonder why is this happening to me. Why aren’t things working?

No outside force was responsible for my life. I created results from my attitude and attention. The universe energetically matched my thoughts and feelings.

Energy flows where attention goes. What else can go wrong? My prayers were answered. The universe replied with new calamities.

Visualizing isn’t just what happens during a visualization exercise. It includes predominant feelings and thoughts during the day.

You, too, create more of what you focus on and can make new choices. You can do it without owies from beating yourself up or building a case to support the stories you tell about your life.

THESE 5 STEPS CAN HELP YOU THROUGH CHALLENGES:

  1. Ask your inner powerhouse, your soul energy, to empower you.
  2. Visualize with feeling what you choose throughout the day.
  3. Take one step at a time.
  4. Find and implement ways to rest and take care of yourself instead of tolerating fatigue.
  5. Talk with supportive people. Masterminding your goals and dreams empowers you and refocuses your vision.

Remember, the fastest way out of a hole is to stop digging it. No matter what’s going on, it’s not going to last forever. This too shall pass.

Now it’s your turn. What are your predominant thoughts and feelings throughout the day? Any old programs running in the background? How about dumping those pjs?


ESCAPING FINANCIAL COLLAPSE

March 3, 2012

A woman came to me 1½ years ago on the verge of closing the doors of her office and working from home instead. The economy had taken its toll on a once thriving business, and fear had taken its toll on her spirit.

Recently she shared a story that demonstrates her attitude that turned her business around.

Her company had been courting a prospective client. Although they liked her and what her company brought to the table, in the end, they didn’t want to leave their current, long-time vendor.

The staff grumbled about it for a few minutes and then returned to work. As she sat at her desk, she shook her head and said to herself, “OK. We’re obviously not supposed to have this contract. I’m letting it go, and something better will come.” This was a departure from her old attitude of worry, fear and images of doom that would have consumed her.

As she clicked the Send and Receive button, an email appeared offering a contract which is now bringing her company three times more profit than the one that turned her down! Although only 1 ½ months into the year, her company surpassed her $250,000 first quarter goal and is bringing in $355, 000 with over $150,000 in profits. What a dramatic shift from before when business was at its last gasp of survival.

By the way, her motto this year is Divine flow. Let “stuff” go.

She also learned that God is her supply, not any one person or company. For example, she expected a big client to come through with a contract. She kept waiting and getting frustrated and more desperate. When she let go of her expectation and opened up to other possibilities, opened up to the idea that her supply comes from a divine source and not from anyone in particular, then business poured in from many directions.

A year later the big client still hasn’t come through, but her business is flourishing. Without the panic and struggle, she was able to float to the surface of the quicksand of chaos, and success greeted her.

It takes practice to choose to trust instead of give our power to fear. Being groomed since childhood with the habit of fear, I’ve had a lifetime of observing the sneaky ways it shows up. My life became shipwrecked when I allowed myself to be seduced by its siren calls.

Eventually, it became harder to hold onto anxiety and easier to let go and trust things will work out – regardless of appearances. I decided to give up worry because it just wasn’t working for me. And when I let go, miracles happen.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

May 26, 2011

Your thinking and feelings are engines that generate results. If you don’t like what you see, you can recreate something better.

What I’m about to tell you may be a game changer.

Let’s start with the law of attraction – when it works positively.

A skin care specialist visualized lots of people calling for appointments.

  • Results? Shortly after, the receptionist reported that she booked several sessions for her – just as she asked for in her visualization. 

However, she didn’t specify what kind of appointments.

  • Results? One was for a bikini wax, and she really doesn’t like to give them.

Because of her busy schedule, the client couldn’t get a wax as soon as she wanted but made the appointment anyway. In the meantime, the visualizer mused about how she didn’t want to do the wax.

  • Results? The client cancelled.

This is a classic case of cause and effect, but your experience may differ. So let’s get to what matters most to you. Why is your life happening the way it is?

Do you feel like you’re drowning and looking for a life saver? 

Is this you? 

I don’t know if I believe in this stuff. I tried it, and it didn’t work. I did everything right. I visualized, masterminded, had a positive attitude, created a vision board, and still no results. 

Could it be that one part of you did “all the right things” and another part freaked out with anxiety? Were you feeling frustrated, angry, desperate or scared? Your world reflects what you predominantly think and feel. 

If so, no need to worry. Neville in Your Faith Is Your Fortune wrote this: 

“Just as a branch withers and dies if the sap of the vine ceases to flow towards it, so do things and qualities pass away if you take your attention from them; because your attention is the sap of life which sustains the expression of your life.” 

When you fuss and fret, your attention is on what you don’t want. Instead, change your focus, including emotionally, to what you choose. 

TIP: Don’t EXPECT results. 

Say again. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? 

Expecting results is a booby trap, and you’re no boob. Here’s how it can foil your efforts. 

When we mastermind, we ask for “this or something better.” Why? Because God and the universe may have a better way to bring results. 

Energetic clinging repels results. Imagine a girl focused on finding a boyfriend. Guys sense this as dogs sense fear and run for the hills. Once she lets go of the search, there’s room for her dream to come true. 

I’m an expert on expectation.

I can trick myself into thinking I let go when I’m really WAITING FOR, aka EXPECTING, a result from a specific source. 

For example, in the past, while putting a group together, I expected my next event would fill it. If I had a financial goal, I expected a particular client to fulfill it. I said I let it go, but I tried to control the outcome: I patiently relaxed to manifest my goals the way I expected. I knew how I thought it would happen… and I took action to make it happen. 

Here’s the telltale downside. When it didn’t happen as expected, I got disappointed. Next came fear and my default program: Oh no, what am I going to do? 

This started a vicious circle of expectation and disappointment which attracted more things to be discouraged about. 

Now, I still hold events and have clients that could bring results. But, if they don’t, it’s called next. God will supply from other sources. 

God is your supply. 

Don’t expect your supply to come from a person, event or anything in particular. You are ALWAYS taken care of by God, but results often come differently than you think they SHOULD. Results come when you let go and let God. 

Feeling dejected, rejected or injected with fear is not trusting. 

Trust is not giving up or moaning about what’s not working. These are childhood responses. 

Instead, trust by ANTICIPATING RESULTS. Anticipate your needs are fulfilled beyond your wildest expectations. Adopt a childlike curiosity of wonder instead of dictating an expectation. 

It’s your job to:

  • Make a choice.
  • Pay attention to your nudges.
  • Take action on what you’re inwardly guided to do.

 Let God fill in the HOW and why and where and by whom.

 Remember:

  • Anticipate, don’t expect.
  • Trust that God can and does manifest goals you choose or something better.

Don’t like your new creation? Don’t create a story about how you never get what you want, etc. Choose again.

Anticipate the best and you change the way your world is happening for you.