Archive for the ‘Stress’ Category

Fly with the Eagles and Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down

July 31, 2017

 

You’re feeling great and in the flow. You can do it. This is your time. Nobody can stop you… until some turkeys start pecking away at you, and you want to run.

Experiencing this way too often, and although she’s at the top of her business, competent and relatively young, my client told me that she couldn’t stop focusing on retirement.

She felt that she could no longer handle the stress created from customers’ unrealistic demands and exhausting herself to get them to see reason.

During her Soulgoals session, she realized that she was attracting people who brought out a quality in her that was like her father – being judgmental. People weren’t acting the way she thought they should.

As like attracts like, she was magnetizing people who would bug her so that she could be “justifiably” judgmental.

To counterbalance her father’s inflexible attitude, she played the role of the peacemaker throughout her life. Now that he’s passed and she’s tired of “battling,” she thought those days were over.

However, his judgmental attitude was still alive inside her because she absorbed his energy, and she continued to attract people that required her to be the peacemaker.

She connected the dots and saw that unless she made inner changes, these patterns would follow her wherever she went – even into retirement.

She was on the verge of letting go of a great career instead of letting go of the unwanted energy she harbored within. It was time to stop blaming others and her business as they weren’t the problem.

Done with attracting challenging people who were like her father, she decided to release her judgmental energy and change her perspective.

“I don’t want to put up with other people’s stuff… my big insight is that if you leave, you’re not going to get away from your issues. Deal with it through journaling.”


Another client found herself consistently attracting unqualified clients.

One got nastily irate when she told him that his application didn’t go through.  Although she quickly let him go as a client, she knew she had to change her focus to stop attracting turkeys.

Whatever is focused upon grows.

In the past, she complained about how many applicants didn’t qualify, so she kept having more applicants who didn’t qualify.

Now, she focuses her attention on having great applicants who both qualify and purchase her high end products, all with grace and ease.

Her new perspective is working.

Are there the same (annoying) types of people or circumstances showing up in your life again and again?

Journal about how you feel when the turkeys get you down.

  • Does how you feel remind you of people from your past?
  • When you notice the patterns, choose to let them go.
  • Replace them with a new perspective.
  • After, refocus on your wonderful dreams and goals instead of what you don’t want.

It’s time to soar with the eagles. You deserve it.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.S. All stories about my clients’ experiences are shared after having received their permission in advance. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

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Not enough time? This story may help you.

July 25, 2017

“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.

On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.

There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.

Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.

Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.

After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.

As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.

Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.

Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

How he set himself up for stress

While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.

Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.

Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.

His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?

After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:

“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low.  Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”

As an adult, stress still garnered him attention.  Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.

One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.

In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.

An alternative

Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.

At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.

A co-worker just happened to call.

When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.

Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:

  • Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
  • Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
  • By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
  • In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.

If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off? 

Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.

Start releasing patterns through awareness 

  • Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
  • Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
  • Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
  • Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
  • Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”

When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.

What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Not Good Enough in La La Land

February 6, 2017

dream-bigger

Do you know the #1 issue for everyone on the planet?

It even showed up in the #1 nominated movie La La Land when a main character lost all confidence before going for the BIG dream – exhausted from trying, past rejections and feeling positive it wouldn’t work.

At some point, it’s had a starring role in your life, too.

It’s what prevents you from believing in yourself.

It’s hounded you to despair and disappointment creating doubt, anger, fear, lack, anxiety and every limitation.

No, you’re not the only one who thinks other people’s lives are better and, after objective and/or emotional comparison, you reached the conclusion there’s something’s wrong with you.

This is the #1 issue.

You feel you’re not good enough, and you have living proof because (fill in the blank of how you feel you and your life are messed up).

“Not good enough” is only a program in your head that was put there a while ago – when you were a little kid.

This is NOT you.

It’s just a program, and it can be changed!

What does it look like when your software program produces this error message?

Here are some ways people have tried to bolster their spirits to find peace, feel good and create success. You’ve probably used some of these well-worn strategies, too, only to find you’re basically in the same place you started.

Do any of these fixes sound familiar?

  • Trying to control situations or others and getting upset or anxious when it doesn’t work. Trying to control means you feel out of control. You can feel frustrated if things don’t go the way you think they should. After a while, you can give up and might go into depression because this fix has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
  • Wanting others’ approval by people pleasing; looking for self-worth by rescuing others; holding yourself back because of what others might think; or stuffing your emotions and desires. Dream big? Forget it. Too risky.
  • Feeling insecure because you don’t have enough love, money, health, respect, direction, time, contacts, etc. Playing it safe seems like a good reason to hold yourself back, but you can end up unfulfilled where even you get bored with yourself.
  • Feeling bad about you, what you’ve accomplished, what you’re doing and your future prospects. Oh, what’s the use of trying. Bingo – you’re chasing your tail and going nowhere.
  • Playing the victim so others feel sorry for you even though you sincerely express you don’t want them to and you’re not a victim… but silently craving that someone will make all your problems go away.

What’s a key to break free?

Breaking free is an inside job. Nobody can save you but you. Begin by changing your perspective.

You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Shift your focus to what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Instead of the agonizing feeling of wanting what you don’t have, recognize the feelings of love, safety and fulfillment you long for are already within you.

You can’t move a car forward and backwards at the same time without spinning in circles.

Likewise, you can’t have and want at the same time.

When you shift your focus to what you have, you’ll discover you are more than enough.

When your energy aligns with this feeling, you can write your ticket to success.

Shift happens!

Feeling you’re not enough is simply a habit.

To help you shift gears, write daily 10-15 things you’re grateful for.

Shifting takes practice, but you’re more than capable of changing your perspective.

Invest a few minutes daily to focus on how things are working out for you.  

Size doesn’t matter – got out of bed, conquered fear of calling a client, landed a promotion. Any acknowledgement will help you change your habit so you feel better about you as you rewrite the trash talk that goes on in your head.

Change your energy, change your life.

Bring on your dreams, and dream BIGGER!

The Voice in Your Head Lies

February 1, 2017
doll-with-colored-hair

Even if you appear coordinated and that your life fits together, what’s going on in your thinking might leave you feeling like a shell with a confused head.

Or maybe you’ve been telling yourself that your life is a mess no matter which way you look at it.

Or you feel blessed that all is well, but you wonder how to elevate your set point to a higher altitude you’ve never experienced before.

Conflicting voices in your head can torment you.

Do any of these sound familiar?

You and nothing you do is good enough. What’s wrong with you? You’re never going to get ahead. You screwed up, again. What a loser. What makes you think anything’s gonna change? It’s not going to work, so why chance it? You’ve tried before and you remember how bad it turned out, so what’s the use of trying again? You oughta be a lot further ahead than where you are now… especially at your age.

There are countless ways to beat yourself up.

What if a “friend” said things to you like this, on and on and on?

For a while, you might feel immobilized – how could you do anything with this weight on you?

Why bother taking action? With the wind taken out of your sails, you’re left with no energy.

Instead, procrastinate. Lose interest.  Be indecisive. Watch too much TV. After all, you might make another mistake. Play it safe. Do nothing.

Another option is feeling vengeful and lashing out against the world. How dare they?! How can you do this to me?

Or be arrogant and proud. They think they’re all that and then some. Well, I’ll put them in their place.

When you snapped out of your stupor from getting way too many demoralizing hits below the belt, you’d either want to leave, give them a piece of your mind or shorten any air time you’d give them.

You don’t have to put up with this from others. Most importantly, you don’t have to put up with badgering thoughts that are on instant replay in your brain!

How can you stop the momentum of that train on its way to become a wreck?

When you stop to listen to the conversation in your head and observe it, you might notice something very important.

It lies. That negativity is not the truth.

Do you like liars? Probably not. So stop listening to these horror stories. They’re NOT true!

Instead of acting like an obedient servant to lunacy – yours or others – choose to stop it.

That’s why I named my technique Liberation of Lunacy because when the ego takes over, we’re all a little crazy.

Instead, ASK for your essence to be in the driver’s seat of your life and business.

You’re a Divine child. You’re more than good enough. If you diss you, you diss your Creator.

The rest of that silly stuff is only a program in your head, and you can replace that software.

You can start by making a choice. What thoughts, ideas or outcomes do you choose instead?

I choose _________________________.

You’re that powerful so if you choose, it makes a difference. Really. Choose to let go of the burdensome yoke of enslavement you’ve been carrying.

Choose to be free.

Now don’t go straddling the fence between listening to goofy ideas and choosing. Perching on pointy fence tops is very uncomfortable.

You have a choice to listen to those inane voices in your head or not.

How do I know they’re not telling you the truth? Because your essence never talks to you like this. Your spirit is always supportive. It may lovingly ask what you learned, but it never disparages you.

Here’s another approach.

The next time the dictator/ victim/ bully/ procrastinator/ naysayer in your head tells you that you can’t do something, say with resolve, “Watch me do it. Watch me.”

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

YOU KNOW MORE THAN YOU THINK

November 29, 2012

You’re programmed for low self-esteem and to give away your power. Not just you. Everyone’s brainwashed living in their own hypnotic trance. Part of the gig on earth is to snap out of it.

It starts innocently enough with directives like “draw inside the lines.” We obediently follow to fit in. That’s the hook. Fit in to survive. I mean, how else can a little kid make it in this world without going along with family and society’s customs – even if they’re wacky and don’t make sense?

Did you hear this? “When you’re under my roof, you’ll do what I say.” Then, miraculously, when you move out you turn on a switch and think for yourself. More likely, the programmed voice in your head continues until you realize it’s an old recording.

Myths start early. Do you know any people who stepped on a crack on a sidewalk and broke their mother’s back?

How about obeying authority figures? If doctors or others recommend flu shots or anything they think you should do and doubt your sanity if you decline, do you give your power away by going along because “they” know better, everybody does it,  or you don’t like conflict?

Maybe you journeyed into alternative remedies. Do you give your power away to holistic professionals, stones, pills or potions to heal you or so you can revel in eternal youth?

Consider that any healing starts within and radiates to your thoughts, feelings and physical body.

When this current travels inside to out, whatever you use externally can truly work. Otherwise, you’re giving your power away to something outside of you but feeling clever, at least for as long as the “healing” sticks.

Step back from your emotions, opinions, the way you’ve always seen things, knee jerk reactions, fear, anger, stress, anxiety, and worry. Let’s go deeper.

Your association with a product, technique, love-of-your-life or belief alters how you feel, and you respond like a tuning fork resonating with a frequency. Nevertheless, only YOU can maintain that vibration with your thoughts, attitudes, perspectives and feelings. It may be easier to stay in tune with consistent contact. But, if you’re looking for the fountain of youth, even plastic surgery won’t help if bitterness replaced a young-at-heart attitude.

For whatever you seek, God, the Infinite Source, is your supply.

You have the power NOW to create what you choose. Awaken to this, and you attract supportive people, circumstances, and things.

Everything is given according to your belief. By connecting to the remembrance within that you’re made in the image and likeness of God, you can realize you are way more than enough. (Otherwise God would be a slouch, and that just ain’t true. Excuse me, God. Just sayin’.) The more you believe and align with this, the more you’re in divine flow and row, row, rowing down the stream.

Life can provide evidence to prove the opposite, too. However, believing you’re a helpless slug slithering over the soil leaves a slimy shadow.

The reason people are able to create miracles is they ask for them, believe, are open to receive, and have faith and confidence life will provide.

Me? I got a Ph.D. in 11th hour saves. Why? Because it took me that long to let go and trust. I used worry as a strategy. Spoiler alert: worry only makes things worse.

Strong emotional reactions skew perspective, too. By the way, they have nothing to do with what you think you’re upset about. They’re often from unresolved pain or the irritation of having given away your power. Blaming others is giving your power away, too. Take responsibility. Look deeper.

Everyone has childhood experiences where fear ruled. My highly charged, emotional upbringing with screaming parents introduced me to fear as my companion. Like holding onto a childhood blanket, I continued the legacy of anxiety into adulthood by attracting stressful situations. It really didn’t matter what it was: health; relationships; financial; whatever. As long as something went wrong, I could feel that ole, familiar, sickening dread.  Like everyone else, I have stuff to deal with, but I’m not entertaining the emotions of fear-worry-stress as houseguests anymore.

What emotional instant replays do you have?

What emotions do you usually feel when you’re down for the count? Awareness leads to freedom.

Instead of automatically giving your power to an emotion, your taste buds, the next shiny object, any member of genus Homo sapiens, the internet, a calendar date, scientists, politicians or habits, take a deep breath and question. Question everything, including cherished beliefs. What’s the truth underneath? Find quiet time and journal. Amazing insights emerge, and your self-confidence rises.

You’re not alone in this process. You know the rug that stuff got swept under? Life is forcing everyone to clear out those dust bunnies and move on.

Make a clean sweep by seeing through illusions and making empowering choices. It’s never too late.

In the words of Dr. Benjamin Spock, “Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

WHAT KEEPS YOU UP AT NIGHT – & 2 SOLUTIONS

November 8, 2012

What keeps you up at night? What scary movie plays in your thoughts and emotions of Halloween past? Can you relate to any of these?

  • Lack of money
  • Business concerns
  • Not enough energy or poor health
  • What to do about relationships at work, home or with friends
  • Tough decisions to make
  • Exhaustion and confusion from stress and overwhelm
  • Insert your (not so) favorite one here

You may also have befriended an attitude that… well, if it’s somewhere between wondering how things can ever work or that you screwed up, an attitude adjustment could begin to solve a lot of problems. Easier said than done when you’re in quicksand.

Why suffer? You don’t have to struggle or settle for less than what you deserve! Or maybe you’re just ready to kick it up to a higher level.

How? Transform your frequency. 

Huh? Speak English, please. OK. Law of Attraction – like attracts like. Think of yourself as a tuning fork. Every tone you play creates a vibration. These either resonate or are discordant with other notes. Some notes are what you like in your life. Others you’d like to send to a universe far, far away. Those are the ones that irritate you like mosquitoes buzzing in the middle of the night – or thoughts that keep you up.

I’m not saying you should change yourself. Whew! That sounds like a Herculean effort. Actually, you’re already more than good enough just the way you are. You may be carrying some unnecessary paraphernalia, aka emotions and perspectives, that skew your frequencies, though. (Imagine playing your tuning fork with an old sack on it that muffles your true tones).

TIP: When you’re angry, frustrated, worried or lashing out at the world because life isn’t going as you think it should, you attract more weird things to match these frequencies. Observe the words and energy you express and change them if you’re not getting the results you choose.

I once saw a woman repeatedly warn her child not to run because he’d fall. She planted the seed. Of course, he fell to comply with the images she drilled into his brain… and then she said, “I told you so.” What are you unconsciously creating? Sometimes it’s subtle and tricky to detect because you’ve lived with the patterns for so long that they feel natural, even though they attract what you don’t want.

It’s easy and commonplace to get so enmeshed in your story and circumstances that you can’t see a way out. A lot of times how could you? The reason you’re in situations is to learn. You may not have the TOOLS to change your approach to reap different results – YET! Let’s face it. If you already got the lesson about why things aren’t working, you wouldn’t be where you are. When you get it, you move on.

How Can You Make the Shift? 2 SOLUTIONS

TIP: Ask for help. Open to receive. There are some things you won’t be able to do on your own. 

Countless times this month I found myself in seemingly insurmountable circumstances that only others could help me with. 10 1/2 hours with a professional, Dan my computer guy, solved technical issues to help my business I stewed over for years! Also, my mastermind partners helped clear my thinking and shared ideas so I could take effective action.

You’re not alone although you may feel that way at times. There are those who’ve walked a path similar enough to yours who understand your goals and obstacles and, most importantly, CAN HELP YOU FIND THE WAY TO ACHIEVE THE RESULTS YOU CHOOSE.

SOLUTION #1 I know how crummy it feels to be stuck. I also know my sessions can help you reclaim your true king (or queen) to remove the Excalibur sword that’s stuck in the stone.

I’m offering you this special for the month of November: WOO HOO! LET’S GET IT ON! 1 1/4-hoursession by phone, Skype or in person for $77 – that’s less than half price!! You read it right.  A $190 value for $77. That’s a savings of over $110!

THIS OFFER IS ALSO AVAILABLE TO CURRENT AND PAST CLIENTS, COUPLES OR BUSINESS PARTNERS FOR THE SAME LOW PRICE!

You deserve the clarity, inspiration, empowerment, confidence, tools and sounding board to get past what’s holding you back so you can take effective action and create results beyond your wildest imagination. But if you’ve never had a session with me or haven’t had one for a while, you may not know how powerful, clarifying and freeing they are – think RELIEF!

May this special offer inspire you to take action and invest in yourself. End your year on a high note. Go into the holidays feeling great with successes to share.

Imagine a stick endlessly circling around an eddy of water unable to connect with the current. With the right influence, it escapes the whirlpool and gets in the flow. Off to a new adventure.

Start your adventure, and contact me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com with questions or to register. PayPal, checks and cash are accepted.

SOLUTION #2 Meet me at the OPEN HOUSE/HAPPY HOUR at the HOLISTIC HEALING & YOGA CENTER in NW AUSTIN for FREE on FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 5:30 – 8:30 PM. A variety of practitioners and myself will share healing modalities… and if you’re inspired by connecting with me there, you can still take advantage of my WOO HOO! LET’S GET IT ON! SESSION for $77.  http://ow.ly/f8s3O

CLICK ON THIS LINK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE OPEN HOUSE AND SIGN UP FOR FREE. http://ow.ly/f8s3O

I encourage you to contact me to discover the clarity and motivation you most certainly deserve. It’s your gift to you (unless you’re a really good manifester and receive it as a gift from loved ones).

You can also give this as a unique gift from Santa for someone you care about and love.

Have friends who might be interested? Please spread the word.

Two solutions, two tips and several ideas.

I support your choices and see you manifesting magnificently… and having a great night’s sleep!

CHALLENGED? 5 CHOICES FOR AN EASIER LIFE

March 22, 2012

 Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotional choices and mental focus – is YOUR choice. You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative emotions, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

 Or you can make a different choice.

 Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives. One left a country where he worked over three years in a highly regarded profession to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results. Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

 Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to the city where he had just interviewed. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

 At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

 Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

 Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

 Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore. This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

 He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

 Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

 With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up. “I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent. My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.” 

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

 I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light and with good technique.

 You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habit of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

 As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

ESCAPING THE QUICKSAND OF FEAR

February 26, 2012

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was: everything! It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like. When the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt justified, being afraid was like adding sugar to yeast – “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.” Fear multiplied which attracted more things to be afraid about.

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only after coming home from burying my cat who suddenly died and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding  down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

All my successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape, a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present. Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface. Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, your body will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax. In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

May 26, 2011

Your thinking and feelings are engines that generate results. If you don’t like what you see, you can recreate something better.

What I’m about to tell you may be a game changer.

Let’s start with the law of attraction – when it works positively.

A skin care specialist visualized lots of people calling for appointments.

  • Results? Shortly after, the receptionist reported that she booked several sessions for her – just as she asked for in her visualization. 

However, she didn’t specify what kind of appointments.

  • Results? One was for a bikini wax, and she really doesn’t like to give them.

Because of her busy schedule, the client couldn’t get a wax as soon as she wanted but made the appointment anyway. In the meantime, the visualizer mused about how she didn’t want to do the wax.

  • Results? The client cancelled.

This is a classic case of cause and effect, but your experience may differ. So let’s get to what matters most to you. Why is your life happening the way it is?

Do you feel like you’re drowning and looking for a life saver? 

Is this you? 

I don’t know if I believe in this stuff. I tried it, and it didn’t work. I did everything right. I visualized, masterminded, had a positive attitude, created a vision board, and still no results. 

Could it be that one part of you did “all the right things” and another part freaked out with anxiety? Were you feeling frustrated, angry, desperate or scared? Your world reflects what you predominantly think and feel. 

If so, no need to worry. Neville in Your Faith Is Your Fortune wrote this: 

“Just as a branch withers and dies if the sap of the vine ceases to flow towards it, so do things and qualities pass away if you take your attention from them; because your attention is the sap of life which sustains the expression of your life.” 

When you fuss and fret, your attention is on what you don’t want. Instead, change your focus, including emotionally, to what you choose. 

TIP: Don’t EXPECT results. 

Say again. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? 

Expecting results is a booby trap, and you’re no boob. Here’s how it can foil your efforts. 

When we mastermind, we ask for “this or something better.” Why? Because God and the universe may have a better way to bring results. 

Energetic clinging repels results. Imagine a girl focused on finding a boyfriend. Guys sense this as dogs sense fear and run for the hills. Once she lets go of the search, there’s room for her dream to come true. 

I’m an expert on expectation.

I can trick myself into thinking I let go when I’m really WAITING FOR, aka EXPECTING, a result from a specific source. 

For example, in the past, while putting a group together, I expected my next event would fill it. If I had a financial goal, I expected a particular client to fulfill it. I said I let it go, but I tried to control the outcome: I patiently relaxed to manifest my goals the way I expected. I knew how I thought it would happen… and I took action to make it happen. 

Here’s the telltale downside. When it didn’t happen as expected, I got disappointed. Next came fear and my default program: Oh no, what am I going to do? 

This started a vicious circle of expectation and disappointment which attracted more things to be discouraged about. 

Now, I still hold events and have clients that could bring results. But, if they don’t, it’s called next. God will supply from other sources. 

God is your supply. 

Don’t expect your supply to come from a person, event or anything in particular. You are ALWAYS taken care of by God, but results often come differently than you think they SHOULD. Results come when you let go and let God. 

Feeling dejected, rejected or injected with fear is not trusting. 

Trust is not giving up or moaning about what’s not working. These are childhood responses. 

Instead, trust by ANTICIPATING RESULTS. Anticipate your needs are fulfilled beyond your wildest expectations. Adopt a childlike curiosity of wonder instead of dictating an expectation. 

It’s your job to:

  • Make a choice.
  • Pay attention to your nudges.
  • Take action on what you’re inwardly guided to do.

 Let God fill in the HOW and why and where and by whom.

 Remember:

  • Anticipate, don’t expect.
  • Trust that God can and does manifest goals you choose or something better.

Don’t like your new creation? Don’t create a story about how you never get what you want, etc. Choose again.

Anticipate the best and you change the way your world is happening for you.

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 1

May 8, 2011

The top two tactics used by repressive regimes like China are to withhold information, which is harder to do with the internet, and stop people from expressing themselves. 

What about your expression? 

As tempting as it might be to tell your boss, clients, family or friends that they’re idiots in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, it may not be wise. There are times to speak up and times to put things in perspective. 

However, if they cross the line by treating you like yesterday’s trash, then it’s time to express yourself… with as much grace and ease as possible. 

When the pain of withholding is greater than the pain of dealing with a situation, it’s time to express yourself.

This awakening is now happening in the Middle East as expressed on a YouTube video Syria: stand with the protesters.  “They will not be butchered into silence and submission.” 

They have chosen to live their own lives. The consequences of remaining silent surpassed the cost of speaking up. Many are paying a high price for the freedom to express.

I learned this lesson while existing in “a living hell.”

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For the longest time I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

It took me a while to realize I lived with a master manipulator. He knew my vulnerabilities and used them to intimidate and emotionally undermine me while bending me to his will. 

I was bullied to let go of my business and with it financial freedom. He listened in on my phone conversations. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

The stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t even able to speak my words in the right order or have physical energy to move. Enabling this was a belief there was something wrong with me.

Human traffickers and terrorists use similar tactics. Intimidate with threats and play on low self-esteem to create a lack of confidence and dread. Immobilize people through fear of what might happen. 

My unhappiness induced me to question and think.  

There was his reality, but was it true? 

How did I get here? I made a bad choice which put me on a sorrowful path. Regardless of good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away. Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority. Even at risk of losing worldly goods. 

Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a mistake. Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up TO MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient “silence and submission.”

When I got honest with me, changes occurred which made my exit easy. I was packed and gone in three weeks. 

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

How can you access your truth? It’s always within you.  

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Call forth your soul. It’s not complicated to do. It’s another aspect of you!
  3. Request clear communication.
  4. Ask questions, such as: 
  • Why are things happening in my life this way?
  • What’s the truth about a situation?
  • What’s the best direction for me to focus on now?
  • What action is best to take?

Write or draw your answers. Journaling is a useful tool to speak out and let you know what’s happening within. 

If you need more clarity, ask again. If it doesn’t come in that moment, it will be made known to you at a better time.

 Ready to make your life easier?

  • Choose to learn your lessons GENTLY.
  • Choose to make changes with ease and grace.
  • Choose to take action on your inner guidance.

 The more you speak up, the more you’ll live your life on your terms. 

In Part Two, you’ll learn 7 steps to LIVE your life and 5 ways to stop giving your power away.