Are You Living or Existing?

Do you jump through hoops to please people?

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you or living your dreams?

• Do you stuff what you feel and toe the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. An underlying fear may be that if you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.
• If someone says you’re stupid, does the crowd-pleasing clown emerge. Or did you learn to dumb down and hide your brilliance?
• If the family wants you to follow their traditions, do you do whatever it takes to belong, be loved and not make waves? Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

You’ll never be able to please others enough as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That includes not living to please other people. Instead, do you make choices that make you feel happy… and do you even know what makes you happy?

---

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of or uncomfortable with possible consequences and what others might think?  
Instead, discover what makes you happy, and take time for you, your goals and your life. 

---

If you’re just getting by, living to please others, you’re existing instead of living your best life.

To live more fully, stop giving your power away.

Some ways you can give away your power are:

• Trying to please others and being worried about what they’ll think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
• Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
• Talking about others; blaming and complaining about them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
• Feeling sorry for yourself; maybe feeling damaged from your past, regardless of circumstances. Instead, look at but don’t feel disheartened by “what is,” and make new choices and actions.
• Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
• Making excuses, aka reasons, not to live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say, “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you:

1. Go within and ask your questions.
2. Listen and write your answers.
3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

Edited excerpt from my Soulgoals’ post, May 19, 2011

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

---

---

Is it time to let go of your fears and past and reclaim your power?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session by phone.

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. Or maybe would like a more fulfilling life.  I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. 

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Advertisement

Worried? Do This Instead.

How are you going to get out of this one?

“I am old and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain 

---

I was sure I failed the test, and like a bully, worry stalked and tormented me for a week. When the scores finally came in, I learned that I got the highest mark in my class.

Although in third grade, I realized that the agony I created served no purpose.  After reflection, I thought another approach to future upsets would be better.

I told myself: Worrying doesn’t feel good. And if what you’re worrying about doesn’t happen, it’s a lot of feeling bad for nothing.

As an adult I learned that when there really is a problem, I’m better off to get clear on the issue and then focus on the solution rather than on what’s not working.

If needed, we can accept that we are worrying, without judging the situation or the fact that we are bothering to worry. By choosing acceptance we are no longer prisoner to our reactive patterns. Freedom greets us as we open our cell door. When this happens the worry-jailer’s job is done.

Consider this:

• Our programming for worry is based on past situations that created unfavorable results.
• We design our future with our present thoughts and feelings.
• Therefore, energizing fearful thoughts with worry is a shortcut to what we don’t want to come into our lives in the future.

---

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”
Job 3:25

---

Worry projects us into a world of make-believe what-ifs and creates fear. It’s an indicator that we are living in the future, not in present time.

How do we stay in the present? By surrendering to what is rather than what we think something could or should be. Acknowledging what a situation or person is assists us to be conscious. In doing so, we can see more clearly and take more productive action, too.

If there is a situation that needs addressing, being in the present, rather than in a reactive and emotional state, opens us to receive insights and alternatives more easily. 

Humans are wired with the ability to handle life’s situations in this moment of time.

However, we can not cope effectively with mental tapes that project hypothetical, fear-based, future problems.

I was delighted when I read a passage in a great book by Satyam Nadeen.

There’s a part of us that simply watches what’s going on, like seeing a play. I sometimes call it the observer self.

Nadeen refers to this aspect as the Witness. It’s detached about what goes on and doesn’t care about the drama that monkey mind, others or our own, creates about a situation. This drains the life force from worry. In fact, from this vantage point, what we’re worrying about can be rather humorous.

---

“Each of the countless times a day that the mind or some other person asks ‘why’ about any and every situation that arises (just as a good little mind is supposed to do), the Witness always responds: ‘Don’t know, don’t care!’”
 
Satyam Nadeen, From Seekers to Finders,
The Myth and Reality about Enlightenment

---

How can we change a pattern of worry? Decide to let it go. Let worry go. Choose to release the habit. Ask the highest part of ourselves to release the pattern and replace it with awareness to navigate through life in a different way… living in present time with grace and ease.

---

 
“Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time one must begin by sacrificing suffering.”
 
Gurdjieff

---

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to look at a situation that’s causing you worry from a perspective of “Don’t Know, Don’t Care.”  Consider a viewpoint where letting go of worry supports you to find peace and resolution to whatever is concerning you.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia 

Success Thought:

Mark Twain once said that one way of getting a silly tune out of your head is to put in another. Instead of the worry tune, you can use Bobby McFerrin’s melodic approach of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” 

“In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now.”

---

Would you like to know how you can dump worry?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice. You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want. Or you can make a different choice. Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives. A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results. Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges. Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him. At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.” Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session. Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this. Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore. This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there. He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature. Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy. With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up. “I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent. My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.” Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better. I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique. You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to:  Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3. Take action in the direction of your dreams. As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance. Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012 If you’d like support through challenging times, contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session. If it’s been a while since you’ve had one, you’re welcome to contact me again. Email me at: virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.

This is a reprint from July 2010

If you’d like support
to stop judging,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Always Late & Putting Herself Down

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” from Alice in Wonderland

A friend told me, “I have a character defect, and I really have to change it this year.” She had a hard time being on time.  She said, “If I have A, B and C to do, I try to squeeze it all in, even though I only have enough time to do A. Then I become late. It’s disrespectful to people, and I just have to stop it. This year, it’s got to stop! “I was born three weeks late, and my mother just accepted my showing up late. It’s no longer working for me, though.” Her self-deprecating tone became more disapproving the longer she talked. To listen to her, one might think she was headed straight to the bowels of the earth for her misdeeds. To put it in perspective, though, it was tardiness and not the end of the world.   I told her. “You had an issue. You don’t have to keep bringing up examples of what you did wrong in the past and how bad you think are while dragging all of that into the present. You made a new decision to be on time. So be it.” Her reply was, “It’s really so simple, isn’t it? I don’t have to beat myself up or agonize about my habits. Just make a decision to change, and then follow through.” Have you ever felt miserable and chastised yourself about how you didn’t do as well as you thought you should?  It reminds me of when I was in third grade and took a music test. I was sure I failed. The test scores wouldn’t come back for a week, and I suffered the entire seven days. Why couldn’t I have done better? I got the highest grade in the class. That was my first introduction to an idea, “Don’t worry until you have something to worry about.” It took me years to take it to another level: don’t bother worrying at all. It doesn’t help. Worry and making ourselves wrong actually make our situations worse. Ready to be ahead of your time? Let go of your story that you continue to tell about time. Stop using your stories as a way of getting attention. If you messed up, you messed up. Learn from it and move on… without the story. Release the need to justify your actions or get validation from others. Accept yourself more without adding judgment, blame and shame. Shift your focus away from your past and refocus on now and where you’re going. Step at a time, you’ll be in front of time instead of behind it. P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share. I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Who Do You Believe More – You or Others?

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.

---

If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.

---

Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

Have any of these kept you up at night? Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no. What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances. During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing. It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long. Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot. His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy. Walter: There is a house I want to buy. Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want? Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash. Benny: No. Walter: [raising his voice] Benny. Benny: You shout at me? Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me. Benny: No, I won’t! Walter: Yes, you will! Benny: No, no, no! Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year. Benny: So what? Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll… Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what? Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.] Benny: …All right. Walter: Thanks. Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think. A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again. When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action. Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again. She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years. Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves. Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance: “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.” This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please. Nobody can please everybody. There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it. Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions. You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you. Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this. How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves. A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are. You’ll sleep better at night, too. With gratitude, Virginia P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward. Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

TIP: Believe

Wow! 30 people gathered on Sunday for Free, Fun & Fulfilled – and what an experience.  An attendee just emailed saying it was an “energizing celebration.”

Maybe I didn’t take pictures because someone was on the Witness Protection Program and didn’t want to be seen. More probably, next time we’ll have a designated photographer.

Instead, here’s a photo of the wonderful estate where we held our gathering.

Everyone with whom I spoke following the meeting had a feeling of exhilaration, and no one could articulate why.

The energy created with the strong intention of love, acceptance, the magic of masterminding and belief in yourself and your goals – and through these the manifestation of dreams coming true – transcended words.

Belief infused the event days before our meeting.

Belief that the weather would be good instead of the forecasted thunderstorms. (It was a beautiful, sunny day.)

Belief that the speakers would agree to talk as well as share their stories in a meaningful way. (Everyone was awesome!)

Belief that the people who registered would show. (There were zero no-shows, and several unregistered guests showed up.)

Belief in a message that if you believe in yourself and your dreams… with just enough trust to take inspired action… that there IS a way to manifest them beyond anything you can figure out with your limited thinking.

And somewhere in all of this emerged the enchantment of the afternoon.

I remember a quote I heard years ago that heaven and earth will step aside for the man or woman with a dream.

Having enjoyed my program, Resolved for Results, the room included several people who are living examples of dreams that not only have come true but continue to expand. Dreams that include business, financial and creative goals along with enjoying a fabulous, personal life, too.

Today’s TIP is to believe in you and your dreams.

Believe that whatever your life circumstances, you can create something greater and better.

Believe that you are a child of the Divine, which means you deserve and are worthy of manifesting your dreams or something better.

Believe that there’s always a way out of your current conditions and a way in to live a life that exceeds your wildest expectation.

So be it!

HOW I MANIFESTED MY HOUSE, TAX MONEY, CAR & BOYFRIEND – PART 2

While brooding about what I want but don’t have, images emerged to elbow out my whining. Contrary to my logical thinking, I manifested my house; money to pay taxes; a brand new car; and even my boyfriend. All this was done without worrying – or, more accurately, because I didn’t worry.

Conclusion? Don’t stress. Manifest.

Feeling dissatisfied while wanting life to be different focuses on the wrong direction. Taking action on possibilities with belief attracts results.

Want proof?

Part 1 talked about things I manifested.  Here’s how I manifested my…

Boyfriend: While happily not in a relationship, I received an email from a man. He saw my name through a link up with a mutual client on a social networking forum. I only had three links of connections. I’d known him for over 30 years but hadn’t seen him in over ten. We met and discovered he was moving to a house exactly one mile from where I live – in my little neighborhood in a small, country town!  Two and a half years later we’re still celebrating a conscious, loving relationship.

How? I was comfortable being by myself. I chose to have great companionship but let go of the “need” to have a relationship. I didn’t see my location as a limit. In doing so, I created a space to attract someone wonderful.

Instead of looking at what wasn’t working, I saw how many gifts I’d received. After seeing my life from this perspective, my attitude changed.

It got me thinking. Why worry?

When I got out of the way and allowed life to do its magic, things worked out. When they didn’t work is when I put a kibosh on things. I fretted by wondering if enough people would attend an event. I worried if I’d have enough money for something. I got discouraged and frustrated that things might not work out the way I thought they should.

Therefore, I manifested what I focused on – what I didn’t want. Worry doesn’t pay – especially the bills.

Things to Know about Creating Miraculous Manifestations:

• There are no limits or quotas on how many you can have.
• You don’t have to earn them; miracles are your birthright.
• Relax and be open to them. Let go and let God.
• Miracles appear in divine right timing. It’s a collaboration between your soul and Creator as to when they show up.
• Choose to believe in and recognize miracles when they’re gifted to you; it refocuses you to receive more. Be grateful and count your blessings.
• While waiting for “big” ones, you may miss the small ones. Actually, they’re all big.
• Life is always given according to your belief. Believe in possibilities manifesting beyond what you can mentally conceive.

Choose to live a miraculous life, and it’s yours. Well, your life is always miraculous. It’s easier and more fun, though, when you recognize this.

5 Steps to Manifest Results:

1. Refocus your attention by making a list of your miracles and successes. 
2. Breathe and relax.
3. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
4. Choose to be in divine flow.
5. Take action.

Your life has always been blessed with miracles. The near miss from having an accident. A smile from a stranger, an email or a phone call when you felt down and on your way out. Things turned around in your favor. You miraculously manifested a goal.

Focus on what you’re grateful for, and you’ll multiply your reasons to be grateful.

What miracles have you had? Which ones do you choose to manifest now?

Begin by taking action. The rest is easy.

WHEN BUTTONS ARE PUSHED

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

 And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I wasn’t for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

 Here are tips on what you can do when buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

 You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

 Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

 It will:

• Bring you peace of mind and heart
• Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
• Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
• Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
• Bring you better results in the long run.

 My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.