SHOCKED About My Mother After Learning This

This changed me forever.

She blamed my father for her miserable life.

My mother, who passed in 1988, used what I call mantras – words she repeated so many times that I still know them verbatim.

Because of regular reiteration, I believed and didn’t question some of them. It was like repetition used to learn arithmetic tables, but these were impressed on me with far more feeling.

“When I was young, I used to be happy-go-lucky. Then I met your father.”

Because they argued intensely, she started her day with this mantra: “I wonder what that S.O.B. is going to do to make my life miserable today.”  (Note – she didn’t use initials.)

She had no idea that her daily proclamations and choice of emotions were what made her life miserable, not anything my father did or didn’t do.

She thought her suffering was my father’s fault, and I accepted it as true, too. I didn’t have an attitude about him. I liked and loved him. At the same time, I saw her perspective and believed her woeful declarations.

Then around 2002, I was talking to one my teachers about how I felt sorry for them. He knew my parents and replied,

“Your mother wanted your father to change so she wouldn’t have to change.”

What?!!??

This was a throw-a-bucket-of-ice-cold-water-in-my-face moment.

It was his fault. That was a given. Never questioned it. She lived a miserable life because of him.

Here’s the kicker.

As long as she complained about and blamed him, she didn’t have to take responsibility for her own emotions and actions. It was his fault. She was the victim. Pointing her finger at what she decided were his failings absolved her of cleaning up her attitudes, feelings and thoughts.

In a flash, I realized the blaming wasn’t true. She could’ve been happy if she stopped giving him power over the way she felt.

In a shocking moment, for the first time, I stopped feeling sorry for them.

I realized that my pity (vs. compassion) was condescending and disrespectful of their choices. They decided how to interact with each other. They had complete control over the way they felt. If they chose to argue as a way of life, and if she chose to feel miserable, those were their decisions.

As emotions create reality, she created a “living hell” for herself where she felt “like a prisoner in my own home.” Her life was a self-fulfilled prophecy.

Think about the implications in your life. Who are you blaming for what doesn’t work and how you feel?

• Do you want others to behave the way you think they should so you can feel good? In other words, do you want others or situations to change so you can feel better? Or will you decide to feel better anyway?
• As you create your future by how you feel, do you allow others to affect how you feel by reacting to strangers who drive weird, crazy acting people, politicians or past hurts?
• Are you blaming yourself? Or will you take command of your own energy because, if you don’t, you block your dreams coming true? Guilt, regrets, bemoaning your past, blaming yourself and others are false narratives… and an insult to your divine nature. Everyone’s learning. It’s okay.
• What mantras run through your head? I can’t afford it. There’s never enough. What if I run out of money or time? Nothing I do ever works out. My life would be so much better if only…

Even if they’re “wrong,” you still can choose your attitude and how you respond. As like attracts like, how you feel shapes your future.

What does this have to do with your life, business or work?

Your feelings and thoughts magnetize your experience, so don’t hand the keys of your emotions to others and “if only” things would be different. Don’t give your power away.

Allowing others to affect how you feel relinquishes the keys to your kingdom – or queendom – of success, happiness and ability to enjoy personal, financial and emotional freedom.

By the way, blame is one of ego’s greatest tools; no matter where it’s directed, it holds you back.

You choose how you react and feel.

Your now and future depend on it.

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.

Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce.

Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience.

No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”  

Thích Nhất Hạnh

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ post of March 13, 2017.

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Ready to live YOUR life, let go of blaming and complaining and gain emotional mastery? 

Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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A Different Way of Helping People… That Actually Helps

The Home Edit on Netflix inspired me to massively reorganize my home.

I let go of 2/3rds of my clothes and shoes. I threw away bags of stuff, sold some, and brought countless carloads to Goodwill.

For a variety of reasons, they no longer fit who I am now.

I categorized what was left (grouping similar items together in the same area). I bought containers so everything on my shelves had their own place. I stepped back to look at all my rooms, closets, drawers and cupboards with an eye for them to be aesthetically pleasing. The end goal is to maintain the system.

There’s not a paper on my desktops.

Following was the yard edit. I cut and dumped the equivalent of truckloads of pruned trees and branches.

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Months of this focus led me to ask questions about editing my life.

• How was I using my time?
• Why were individuals in my life?
• I paid attention to attitudes, beliefs, patterns, actions of myself and others.
• When did I feel unhappy or stressed? 
• What did I like or just put up with?

When I honestly paused to see, I admitted to myself what didn’t serve me.

I saw where I was taking care of others above taking care of me. 

Why? For logical reasons:
they needed me, my help, to talk, something… and regularly being on that vibrational frequency was interfering with my ability to create a life that I choose.

It was time for me to draw the line and stop tolerating the vibrational dissonance.

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“Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you’ve been saying you want. And when you do, these things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance… That which is like unto itself is drawn.“

Abraham-Hicks

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Once, while in a car for hours with a woman who’d been experiencing her friend’s drama for hours, I asked: “Why are they even your friends?”

It was the same question I’d been asking myself about everything in my life. Why is this/ are they in my life?

She replied something about how they’re dysfunctional. However, my point wasn’t about them, but I left her answer alone.

My intention was about her. What vibration are you choosing? To use colloquial expressions, as birds of a feather flock together, as water seeks its own level, her love and caring for her friends were aligning her with energy of drama. 

Wonder why sometimes you don’t move forward in life the way you thought you could? With what vibrational frequencies are you aligning yourself?

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“When you find vibrational alignment with You,
you personally thrive.“

Abraham-Hicks

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For me, why did some drain my energy?

I learned from YouTuber Richard Grannon regarding narcissists that “you’re dealing with a performance to elicit a response from you that caused you to serve them.”

Whaaat?

Some people try to pull you in, to do things for them and satisfy their needs, with their stories, circumstances, neediness or emotions in order to elicit a response from you. This is how they cause you to serve them, in ways you wouldn’t have done if they hadn’t evoked or played on your emotions somehow.

They may want your money, your time, your stuff, your sex, your advice, your energy, your conversations, you doing things for them, your emotional support, and on and on.

They may not respect your boundaries when you say “no,” but they can be sooo grateful to you for helping them.

Yes. It feels good to make a difference by helping others. Until their needs surface again. And again.

I realized I wasn’t helping. They were using me as a band-aid.

Are you rescuing or trying to fix others? You might believe you should do this to be a loving and good friend or family member. However, you may be holding others back from learning their lessons!

If you try to “teach” them, aka rescue or fix them instead of being an example, you may be holding them back spiritually.

Consequence: they keep coming back to you for help, and your enabling doesn’t motivate them to learn their lessons.

Ask yourself honestly. Is the relationship 50-50 or more like 90-10, you giving more than receiving?

You can let go of the toxicity and drama in your life. Maybe you’ve outgrown that, and it’s no longer a fit.

Of course, be willing to extend a helping hand!! However, if your hand gets tired from the repetitive performance, here’s an option.

HAVE COMPASSION. BLESS OTHERS.

LET THEM KNOW YOU BELIEVE IN THEM TO FIND A WAY THROUGH THEIR SITUATION.

BUT DON’T DO THE WORK FOR THEM.

Be empowered. Happy. Surround yourself with supportive people who love you for who you are, not because of how you can serve them.

Edited post from Soulgoals’ Blog of November 14, 2022

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Ready to be free of helping others more and helping yourself less? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

NEW: Trying to Fix, Rescue, Teach Others? Please Stop!

My linen closet after I edited it.

Earlier this year, I watched a show called The Home Edit on Netflix. It inspired me to massively reorganize my home.

I let go of 2/3rds of my clothes and shoes. I threw away bags of stuff, sold some, and brought countless carloads to Goodwill.

For a variety of reasons, they no longer fit who I am now.

I categorized what was left (grouping similar items together in the same area). I bought containers so everything on my shelves had their own place. I stepped back to look at all my rooms, closets, drawers and cupboards with an eye for them to be aesthetically pleasing. The end goal is to maintain the system.

There’s not a paper on my desktops.

Following was the yard edit. I cut and dumped the equivalent of truckloads of pruned trees and branches.

---

Months of this focus led me to ask questions about editing my life.

How was I using my time? Why were individuals in my life? I paid attention to attitudes, beliefs, patterns, actions of myself and others. When did I feel unhappy or stressed? What did I like or just put up with?

When I honestly paused to see, I admitted to myself what didn’t serve me.

I saw where I was taking care of others above taking care of me. For logical reasons: they needed me, my help, something.

…and regularly being on that vibrational frequency was interfering with my ability to create a life that I choose.

It was time for me to draw the line and stop tolerating the vibrational dissonance.

---

“Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you’ve been saying you want. And when you do, these things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance… That which is like unto itself is drawn.“

Abraham-Hicks

---

Why did some drain my energy?

I learned from YouTuber Richard Grannon regarding narcissists that “you’re dealing with a performance to elicit a response from you that caused you to serve them.”

Whaaat?

Some people try to pull you in, to do things for them and satisfy their needs, with their stories, neediness or emotions in order to elicit a response from you. This is how they caused you to serve them, in ways you wouldn’t had done if they hadn’t played on your emotions somehow.

They may want your money, your time, your stuff, your sex, your advice, your doing things for them, your emotional support, and on and on.

At the same time, they can be sooo grateful to you for helping them. Yes. It feels good to make a difference by helping others. Until their needs surface again. And again.

I realized I wasn’t helping. They were using me as a band-aid.

Are you rescuing or trying to fix others? You might believe you should do this to be a loving and good friend or family member. However, you may be holding others back from learning their lessons!

If you try to “teach” them, aka rescue or fix them instead of being an example, you may be holding them back spiritually.

Consequence: they keep coming back to you for help, and your enabling doesn’t motivate them to learn their lessons.

Ask yourself. Is the relationship 50-50 or more like 90-10, you giving more than receiving?

You can let go of the toxicity and drama in your life. Maybe you’ve outgrown that, and it’s no longer a fit.

Of course, be willing to extend a helping hand!! However, if your hand gets tired from the repetitive performance, here’s an option.

HAVE COMPASSION. BLESS OTHERS.

LET THEM KNOW YOU BELIEVE IN THEM TO FIND A WAY THROUGH THEIR SITUATION.

BUT DON’T DO THE WORK FOR THEM.

Be empowered. Happy. Surround yourself with supportive people who love you for who you are, not because of how you can serve them.

---

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Ready to be free of helping others more and helping yourself less? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Getting Blamed and It’s Not Your Fault?

In The Wizard of Oz, the young girl Dorothy had to deal with many challenges to find her way back home, most of them created by a Wicked Witch.

It was rough going until she realized that she always had the power within her to return.

One turning point came when it appeared there was no way out of a fiery disaster. I mean, that wicked witch was going to kill them all, including Toto the dog! She started by setting on fire Dorothy’s dear friend the Scarecrow, who was made of straw.

Forgetting I’d seen this story countless times, I was shocked. How could they get out of this predicament? There seemed to be none. I couldn’t think of any.

Here’s where the magic of life steps in.  There was a solution, but one they couldn’t have figured out.

To save her friend from the flames, Dorothy threw a bucket of water on him; some of it landed on the witch. Dorothy had no idea what her action would do.

Even if it appears that there’s no way out, there is. Life can step in and provide solutions that you couldn’t imagine.

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Wicked Witch of the West: 

“Don’t throw that water. (The witch screams.) You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done! I’m melting, melting. Oh what a world, what a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness! I’m going! Oh! Oh!”

And the witch was dead!

Surrounded by the Wicked Witch’s minions, Dorothy apologized for this unintended consequence. However, everyone rejoiced and broke into song, “Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.”

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Notice how the Wicked Witch blamed Dorothy, as if Dorothy was the one who did something wrong, forgettting it was the witch who set her friend on fire!

This is such a common strategy of people lost in their own convoluted thinking. They want others to change so they can continue their goofy, limited approach to life.

By the way, blame is one way the egoic mind operates: You… You… You’re wrong! It’s your fault. Apologize. (I certainly won’t look at how I might be the cause of a problem.)

You don’t have to fall for this attempt to doubt yourself!

Just like in Star Wars where a ragtag group defeated the Empire. Just like how a good, little girl like Dorothy and her friends melted the witch…

You can get over any hurdles in your path, too.

There are ways of breaking free to enjoy the life, business or work of your dreams. There is a better way than trying to make things happen, trying to figure things out or getting tired of trying.

You have the power within you!

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To learn more about how to break free, contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see life clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Edited from Soulgoals June 25, 2018 post

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals

Are You Selling Yourself Out? Probably!

Ever wonder why some people are crazymakers?

Friend,

“All unhappiness is caused by our trying to be limited, to be an ego. The more we are our Self, the happier we are. We will never be completely happy until we are completely being our Self.”

Lester Levenson

I’m writing this today because I’ve observed many people UNCONSCIOUSLY giving their power away. But they think their thinking is logical.

We give our power away when we allow others, the news, work, relationships, health, money, events, politics, etc. to upset or limit us or emotionally react in a negative way. In doing so, we deplete our energy – physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

The ego is a false identity that we think is real. It’s the part of us that’s fearful, worries, complains, gets angry and more.

I created the Liberation of Lunacy technique to help people gain mastery over the tyranny of our minds… that which we think is real, but it’s not!

Here’s an excerpt:

Can you remember times when you felt afraid, stuck, taken advantage of, frustrated, judgmental, overwhelmed, resistant, critical, hard on yourself, worried, stressed, confused, addicted or powerless – you’ve done it all and nothing helps? These are moments you were manipulated by the ego.

Just like all your bites can come from one mosquito, all of your negative emotions come from one source – the ego.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) Technique

Examples about truly lovely, nice people:

• A man felt uncomfortable complaining with me. He wanted to spend endless time analyzing his complaints or, if we looked at them from a more positive perspective, he’d change the subject. He resisted attempts to let go of his negativity and be free of the control his ego had on him. Even though his fears prompted him to make decisions that created financial losses, he continued to take actions based on his fears. But, despite evidence of how negativity literally doesn’t pay, he didn’t believe being positive and the Law of Attraction works – like attracts like.
• A sweet woman got terribly upset while sharing an experience with me and told me to “F” off when she became increasingly, emotionally unhinged. She felt she wasn’t being heard, and what she raged about was blaming someone else, her fears, self-justified anger and negativity. She was completely closed off to hearing a more expansive perspective, which she translated to my not hearing her. Later when I communicated with her about it, her response showed that she whitewashed her memory and changed her story about what she previously shared at length. What happens is that in the moment the ego is in control, it can’t hear what doesn’t affirm it. Then it can attack.
• A woman was distraught, crying and ranting, because she didn’t have a million dollar podcast contract like Joe Rogan. It was 10 AM on a Saturday, and it sounded like she’d been drinking. She really tried to get me to react and agree with her. I told her I wasn’t going to allow her to manipulate me emotionally the way she wanted. In response, she squealed in pain like an alien in the movies. She doesn’t even have a podcast or a blog.
• Several others dished out excuses. Excuses that were based on limited thinking. We’d address one, and 30 minutes later another would appear. Address that, but actually there was another issue that popped up soon after. On and on. Some felt quite self-justified, too. As I believe in these people (I wouldn’t continue that conversation with just anyone), I showed another way at looking at their concerns. Some were able to connect the dots and see their own games or at least change their behavior and be proactive.
• Some created a story about their (mis)interpretation of an experience or event, believed their own perception/ lies, then copped an attitude based on their limited perspectives. Of course, someone else is to blame. Drama ensues. The ego doesn’t like to be wrong.

Can you see why it’s lunacy? Have things like this happened to you? Have you done some variation of these to others? Probably.

That’s what occurs until we learn to break free of the ego’s control, replaced by emotional mastery and an observer or Soul perspective.

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The ego tries to pull others into its illusions and can get upset when they won’t play their games…. especially if they won’t go along with them as they did in the past.

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I write these stories so that you might see how the ego controls. Because your ego is the source of every time you limit yourself or feel limiting emotions. Also, you can see how others try to control you.

Fear not. You are more courageous than you may believe.

Peace is a Soul-sourced emotion, the real You, that’s more powerful than anger, blame, frustration, confusion, doubt, negative storytelling, excuses and more. When you find peace within, you’ll find answers to your most bothersome questions. You go beyond limited thinking about what’s possible to discovering freedom and infinite possibilities.

How? Start by recognizing the ego’s patterns. Take your power back. You don’t have to sell yourself out.

Virginia Goszewska, September 12, 2022

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Time to reclaim your power?
Contact me to learn how at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them connect with their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Going in the Right Direction?

You don’t have to hit bottom before making changes. Instead, there’s a way to read the signs and know when it’s time to go in another direction.

These people were ready to go off the deep end and drown in a pool of their own outrage.

• A businesswoman got upset when she received information that stopped an important deal in its tracks.
• Because her boss has it in for her, another woman wondered if she should leave her job.
• Ready to begin his vacation, a man got angry when he discovered his property had been trashed.

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However, when they noticed their emotions were getting the best of them, each stepped back, observed and course corrected by changing their attitudes.

What was the sign that alerted them to shift?

They didn’t feel good because they were angry. From this awareness, they knew they were on the wrong track and out-of-alignment with their inner GPS. When emotions are high, it clouds our ability to hear guidance accurately that comes from our Essence.

A clue that let’s you know if you’re going in the right direction is how you feel.

________________________________________

What can you do if you’re not happy about something? Empower yourself by releasing the emotions and be open to take action on new options.

That can take some practice, and it’s an acquired skill.

Yet the faster you notice you’re not feeling good, before momentum runs away to the point of no return, the easier it is to redirect your focus to more productive perspectives and solutions.

By the way, that’s what each one in the above examples did.

Each discovered great resolutions to their issues. How? They made conscious choices not to let their emotions get the best of them. They paused, pivoted and headed in a new direction.

It doesn’t matter if it’s a new challenge or if you’re wondering how the heck your life got to this point; you can choose now to change direction.

Don’t feel bad and spin your wheels wondering why you’re on a particular track. Just make a decision to change.

No sense in beating yourself up, either, as it doesn’t help.

You’re definitely not alone in needing to change direction. It’s so common, we have lots of way of saying it.

• Get a fresh start
• Begin a new chapter
• Do-over
• Turn this ship around
• Turn a new leaf
• Pivot
• Course correct
• Shift gears

The good news is that you’re alive so there’s time for a change, even if it’s just your attitude.

Are you going in the right direction?

Well, are you having fun yet?

Sometimes all it takes is changing the way you see things for the answers to make themselves known.

Edited Soulgoals’ Blog originally posted on August 15, 2017

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Ready for something better, freer in your life?
Contact me for a complimentary Soulgoals’ Break-free Session.
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to live life more fully, share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Can What You Think Change Your Life?

The Thinker by Auguste Rodin

Your thoughts are powerful! That means if you look around at your life and either like or don’t like what you see, know that you can change it by changing the way you think.

Need inspiration to even consider something that may seem impossible? And why should you go to the bother of changing your thinking because you’re not sure if it will make a difference anyway?

Listen up. You 100% have the ability to look at things differently, change your perspective and therefore think differently about what’s going on in your life.

When you change how you think about things, your feelings about stuff will change, and you’ll act differently. You’ll take different actions. As a result, your experiences and outcomes will change.

It’s way better than suffering unnecessarily, feeling like you’re a victim, enduring constant pain, being cowered by fear, anger or worry, and any other miserable emotion you may feel you’re stuck with and can’t help. 

How can you empower yourself and change your everyday life and future?

Consider these quotes from James Allen’s classic book As a Man Thinketh to inspire you to improve YOUR world. Italics are mine.

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” 

“A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.”

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.”

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be.”

“Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure.”

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.”

Following are more great quotes, especially for those who’ve ever been chastised for daydreaming by others who perhaps didn’t realize how all great ideas and manifestations start with a dreamer.

Everyone else follows in the shadow of someone’s dream or gets paid by people who had a vision and used their imagination to turn their dreams to reality.

Dream on. Create the life you choose.

• “The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”

• “The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as the realities which it shall one day see and know. Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the after-world, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish. He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.”

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Curious how you can turn your dreams to reality? Contact me to learn if a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-free Session would help you.

I work with people who choose to enhance their lives or share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Email me at virginia@soulgoals.com

Edited Soulgoals’ Blog posted of August 27, 2018

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

I Learned This While Existing in a Living Hell

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For years I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

He had a Ph.D. in psychology and was a revered member of our spiritual community, which played into why it took me a while to realize I lived with a self-centered, master manipulator who cared only for himself.

He easily saw my vulnerabilities of low self-esteem and self-doubt and how to use them to intimidate me and undermine my self-confidence while bending me to his will.

Although we had been dating long distance, he lived a six-hour drive away, we solidified our legal commitment to be together within three weeks after my father passed away. 

Note: It’s recommended to avoid making big decisions after experiencing a death.

In our second month together, I was bullied to let go of my business and with it my financial freedom. Amongst countless other examples, he listened in on my phone conversations and would scream at me non-stop if I didn’t do what he wanted. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer with no cash or credit cards as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

In our third month together, the stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t able to speak my words in the right order, think well, have physical energy to move and would cry if someone said hello. 

Enabling this behavior was my belief there was something wrong with me. Years later, when I saw the 1944 movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, I recognized that this was what he tried to do… make me believe I was crazy so he could control me.

My unhappiness induced me to question and think. 
 

He insisted his reality was truth, but was it? His created what I called a living hell on earth.

I made a bad choice to be with him, which put me on a sorrowful path. Eventually, I figured out that regardless of how many good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away.
Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority.
Even at the risk of losing my worldly goods. 
Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a relationship mistake.

Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up for MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient silence and submission.

When I got honest with me, changes occurred, which made my exit easy. I packed my car and was gone in three weeks. 

The good news is that this experience taught me to think for myself and not believe others’ so-called authority. I learned to separate what I saw was true vs. what others told me I should believe.

And be the coach I am today.

It’s like the person who says the proverbial, “Yes, I’ll still love you in the morning” … not. Beware: many people lie to get what they want. Many believe their own lies!

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

Don’t wait for permission. It’s YOUR life!

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog Post May 8, 2011

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If you’d like support
to listen to
your heart and
what to do about it,
contact me
for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-Free Session
by phone.
Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to
enhance their lives or share their gifts 
in a BIGGER way but
don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Still Have Time to Register for FREE! Starts Today.

Three days of FREE access to the Expanding Wisdom Summit starts today through Sunday.

Pick and choose the presentations you’d like to watch. I’ll be on the schedule tomorrow, Saturday, April 16. You can watch anytime throughout the day.

https://duanneredus.com/events or the Register NOW button below.

Feel free to share this event with your friends and family, and most importantly take time for you to “claim your genius!”

Upcoming Free Virtual: Expanding Wisdom Summit    Join in to raise harmonious energy honoring compassion and wisdom    Bring Your Wisdom It is important to spark our collective energy. *3 days free access at your convenience *Dozens of amazing speakers *Meet new people Click here to register:   Register NOW

Copyright © 2022 Confident Leaders, All rights reserved.

Coming ATTRACTions – Expanding Wisdom Summit

The energy is expanding. The stage is set for 30 wisdom-filled sessions to be shared during the upcoming Expanding Wisdom Summit! 

Here’s how the Summit will work:

Each day of the Summit our host DuAnne Redus will send an email to all who have registered with links to the available talks offered on that day.

Register for free here: https://duanneredus.com/events/

In answer to a question that was asked of me… just watch those you choose.

Each day will be available to all who registered for 48 hours before the links are inoperable.

In the email for each day will be the opportunity to purchase the entire summit (audio and video) for $33 as a way for participants to rewatch sessions at their convenience.

We have 30 speakers and 33 sessions filled with pearls of wisdom and information and beautiful energy.

Included in the program are clients and friends you may know: Carol Warkoczewski, Lisa Schnitzer and LisaBeth Thomas!

Register for FREE now at https://duanneredus.com/events/

I’m happy to share this special experience with you so you can expand YOUR wisdom! 

Do you know friends or family who might enjoy this? Please spread the word.

With gratitude,

Virginia

If you’d like help to expand your wisdom, contact me
about a complimentary Soulgoals’ Break-free Session at 
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to have a better life or business 
but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them by connecting with their Soul’s goals.