Posts Tagged ‘acceptance’

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

October 28, 2019

stop cop

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results.

Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

“I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.”

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012

If you’d like support
through challenging times,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

CHALLENGED? 5 CHOICES FOR AN EASIER LIFE

March 22, 2012

 Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotional choices and mental focus – is YOUR choice. You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative emotions, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

 Or you can make a different choice.

 Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives. One left a country where he worked over three years in a highly regarded profession to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results. Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

 Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to the city where he had just interviewed. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

 At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

 Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

 Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

 Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore. This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

 He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

 Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

 With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up. “I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent. My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.” 

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

 I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light and with good technique.

 You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habit of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

 As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

HOW I MANIFESTED MY HOUSE, TAX MONEY, CAR & BOYFRIEND – PART 2

April 14, 2011

While brooding about what I want but don’t have, images emerged to elbow out my whining. Contrary to my logical thinking, I manifested my house; money to pay taxes; a brand new car; and even my boyfriend. All this was done without worrying – or, more accurately, because I didn’t worry.

Conclusion? Don’t stress. Manifest.

Feeling dissatisfied while wanting life to be different focuses on the wrong direction. Taking action on possibilities with belief attracts results.

Want proof?

Part 1 talked about things I manifested.  Here’s how I manifested my…

Boyfriend: While happily not in a relationship, I received an email from a man. He saw my name through a link up with a mutual client on a social networking forum. I only had three links of connections. I’d known him for over 30 years but hadn’t seen him in over ten. We met and discovered he was moving to a house exactly one mile from where I live – in my little neighborhood in a small, country town!  Two and a half years later we’re still celebrating a conscious, loving relationship.

How? I was comfortable being by myself. I chose to have great companionship but let go of the “need” to have a relationship. I didn’t see my location as a limit. In doing so, I created a space to attract someone wonderful.

Instead of looking at what wasn’t working, I saw how many gifts I’d received. After seeing my life from this perspective, my attitude changed.

It got me thinking. Why worry?

When I got out of the way and allowed life to do its magic, things worked out. When they didn’t work is when I put a kibosh on things. I fretted by wondering if enough people would attend an event. I worried if I’d have enough money for something. I got discouraged and frustrated that things might not work out the way I thought they should.

Therefore, I manifested what I focused on – what I didn’t want. Worry doesn’t pay – especially the bills.

Things to Know about Creating Miraculous Manifestations:

• There are no limits or quotas on how many you can have.
• You don’t have to earn them; miracles are your birthright.
• Relax and be open to them. Let go and let God.
• Miracles appear in divine right timing. It’s a collaboration between your soul and Creator as to when they show up.
• Choose to believe in and recognize miracles when they’re gifted to you; it refocuses you to receive more. Be grateful and count your blessings.
• While waiting for “big” ones, you may miss the small ones. Actually, they’re all big.
• Life is always given according to your belief. Believe in possibilities manifesting beyond what you can mentally conceive.

Choose to live a miraculous life, and it’s yours. Well, your life is always miraculous. It’s easier and more fun, though, when you recognize this.

5 Steps to Manifest Results:

1. Refocus your attention by making a list of your miracles and successes. 
2. Breathe and relax.
3. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
4. Choose to be in divine flow.
5. Take action.

Your life has always been blessed with miracles. The near miss from having an accident. A smile from a stranger, an email or a phone call when you felt down and on your way out. Things turned around in your favor. You miraculously manifested a goal.

Focus on what you’re grateful for, and you’ll multiply your reasons to be grateful.

What miracles have you had? Which ones do you choose to manifest now?

Begin by taking action. The rest is easy.

KINDNESS, ANGER & FRANK SINATRA

February 28, 2011

 How would you feel if this were you?

 A friend waited behind a car as it sat through not one but TWO green lights. Well, he had several choice words for that driver.

 Angrily he drove his car next to the driver and a little girl who sat next to him. The man turned to my friend and said, “I have to take my daughter to the hospital, but I don’t know which way to turn. Can you help me?”

 His anger and judgment vaporized with this new perspective.

 While waiting at a counter in a small shop, the woman next to me wanted to reclaim a lay-away that had been there for several months. The clerk very politely explained that their policy was for 30 days, she didn’t have a record of it, and the owner wasn’t present.

The customer responded by heartlessly debasing the clerk for being rude  which she wasn’t being at all. After she left, the clerk told me that the customer had no idea of the challenges in her life and how much courage it took for her just to come to work.

 If the customer looked beyond her self-interests, she may have handled things differently.

Then there’s this story of kindness with Frank Sinatra.

 At a party hosted by Frank Sinatra at his ex-wife’s home, a young woman accidentally knocked over one of a pair of alabaster birds and smashed it. His daughter Nancy began to say how they were one of her mother’s favorites, but Frank stopped her with a look. As 40 guests stared in stunned silence, he quickly walked over to the other bird. He flicked it with a finger to the floor and smashed it, too.  Then he kindly put his around the woman and told her in a way to diffuse the situation and her discomfort, “That’s okay, kid.”

 Ahhh, grace in action.

 From individuals to world politics, I’ve heard many stories this week of missed opportunities for consideration, kindness or communication. An acting manager complicated instead of resolved a situation while treating a customer like a low-life. A delay in a project with no urgent deadline elicited unnecessary rebuke. People locked into a negative viewpoint while refusing dialogue.

 The ego wears many masks including: righteous indignation; superiority posing as the high road; impatience; sticking it to people; projecting one’s issues onto others; belittling; and judgment.

 How do you respond when things don’t go your way and your buttons are pushed?

 Everyone has bad days and maybe you could’ve done some things differently. But, there are times you’ve chosen grace and kindness. You’ve listened; considered other viewpoints before jumping to conclusions; welcomed communication; and allowed people to be themselves although different from you.

 The most important person to be kind and non-judgmental to is you. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

 How does this affect your goals?  When you’re hard on yourself and others, you may repel what you want most or find it slipping through your fingers once you achieve it.

 What can you do about it right now? Just change your perspective – consider another way of looking at things.

 Ask yourself, “What did I learn?”

Fast forward to the present moment as you leave the past behind. Benefit from your lessons and move on to your next adventure. One option is to do it without judgment, with grace.

FEEL STUCK? 4 TIPS TO GET OUT OF YOUR RUT – PART 1

July 1, 2010

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP #1: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.