Are You Living or Existing?

Do you jump through hoops to please people?

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you or living your dreams?

• Do you stuff what you feel and toe the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. An underlying fear may be that if you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.
• If someone says you’re stupid, does the crowd-pleasing clown emerge. Or did you learn to dumb down and hide your brilliance?
• If the family wants you to follow their traditions, do you do whatever it takes to belong, be loved and not make waves? Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

You’ll never be able to please others enough as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That includes not living to please other people. Instead, do you make choices that make you feel happy… and do you even know what makes you happy?

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Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of or uncomfortable with possible consequences and what others might think?  
Instead, discover what makes you happy, and take time for you, your goals and your life. 

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If you’re just getting by, living to please others, you’re existing instead of living your best life.

To live more fully, stop giving your power away.

Some ways you can give away your power are:

• Trying to please others and being worried about what they’ll think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
• Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
• Talking about others; blaming and complaining about them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
• Feeling sorry for yourself; maybe feeling damaged from your past, regardless of circumstances. Instead, look at but don’t feel disheartened by “what is,” and make new choices and actions.
• Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
• Making excuses, aka reasons, not to live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say, “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you:

1. Go within and ask your questions.
2. Listen and write your answers.
3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

Edited excerpt from my Soulgoals’ post, May 19, 2011

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Is it time to let go of your fears and past and reclaim your power?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session by phone.

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. Or maybe would like a more fulfilling life.  I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. 

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

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Trust Herself or Experts? Life or Death in the Delivery Room.

 

Delivery rooms can be highly charged environments containing the potential of life or death.

While going through a particularly hard labor during the birth of her second child, my friend was directed to push.

The attendants’ attitudes and firm voices basically told her, we know you’re tired, but stop being so lazy and push. By the fourth and fifth time of asking her to push, they raised their voices and got abusive and angrier.  Don’t be such a baby and a wimp. PUSH!

My friend refused, in spite of what the experts demanded her to do. At one point she told them, “I won’t push.”

Finally, the doctor checked the cord and learned it was coiled around her baby’s neck. He had to physically go in and cut it loose. The baby was born blue and not breathing. They gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He survived and was healthy.

The mother later asked the doctor that if she had pushed when everyone said, would she have strangled her baby. He replied, “Yes.”

The mom was the ultimate expert at the moment. She was aware of her body and inner guidance and followed it, although she didn’t know why. She knew she wouldn’t push regardless of what others told her. If she had, the ending of that story wouldn’t be happy.

Her first baby was born at home, by choice, and that delivery was smooth and easy.

Her second baby was different. At night, after hard labor started, she thought how easy it would be to have the baby at home. But because they planned a hospital birth, she went through the motions to fulfill that plan.

She said if she followed her guidance in the first place, what her mother’s intuition told her, she wouldn’t have gone through the agonizing labor, uterine exhaustion and subsequent complications for her baby.

The lesson?  Trust herself. She didn’t need to placate others and what they wanted, regardless of who they are, but instead take a stand for her baby and herself.

Is there an aspect of your life where you’ve been giving your power to others by following their advice instead of trusting yourself?

Ready to do what you love in a Bigger way,
but you don’t trust yourself?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 1

The top two tactics used by repressive regimes like China are to withhold information, which is harder to do with the internet, and stop people from expressing themselves. 

What about your expression? 

As tempting as it might be to tell your boss, clients, family or friends that they’re idiots in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, it may not be wise. There are times to speak up and times to put things in perspective. 

However, if they cross the line by treating you like yesterday’s trash, then it’s time to express yourself… with as much grace and ease as possible. 

When the pain of withholding is greater than the pain of dealing with a situation, it’s time to express yourself.

This awakening is now happening in the Middle East as expressed on a YouTube video Syria: stand with the protesters.  “They will not be butchered into silence and submission.” 

They have chosen to live their own lives. The consequences of remaining silent surpassed the cost of speaking up. Many are paying a high price for the freedom to express.

I learned this lesson while existing in “a living hell.”

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For the longest time I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

It took me a while to realize I lived with a master manipulator. He knew my vulnerabilities and used them to intimidate and emotionally undermine me while bending me to his will. 

I was bullied to let go of my business and with it financial freedom. He listened in on my phone conversations. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

The stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t even able to speak my words in the right order or have physical energy to move. Enabling this was a belief there was something wrong with me.

Human traffickers and terrorists use similar tactics. Intimidate with threats and play on low self-esteem to create a lack of confidence and dread. Immobilize people through fear of what might happen. 

My unhappiness induced me to question and think.  

There was his reality, but was it true? 

How did I get here? I made a bad choice which put me on a sorrowful path. Regardless of good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away. Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority. Even at risk of losing worldly goods. 

Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a mistake. Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up TO MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient “silence and submission.”

When I got honest with me, changes occurred which made my exit easy. I was packed and gone in three weeks. 

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

How can you access your truth? It’s always within you.  

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Call forth your soul. It’s not complicated to do. It’s another aspect of you!
3. Request clear communication.
4. Ask questions, such as: 

• Why are things happening in my life this way?
• What’s the truth about a situation?
• What’s the best direction for me to focus on now?
• What action is best to take?

Write or draw your answers. Journaling is a useful tool to speak out and let you know what’s happening within. 

If you need more clarity, ask again. If it doesn’t come in that moment, it will be made known to you at a better time.

 Ready to make your life easier?

• Choose to learn your lessons GENTLY.
• Choose to make changes with ease and grace.
• Choose to take action on your inner guidance.

 The more you speak up, the more you’ll live your life on your terms. 

In Part Two, you’ll learn 7 steps to LIVE your life and 5 ways to stop giving your power away.