Archive for the ‘Get Out of a Rut’ Category

4 Ways to Get Unstuck… and how you create unnecessary pain and suffering

July 20, 2020

Feeling stalled out or stuck during Covid time? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. By the way, just because it’s stuck, there’s nothing wrong with the cat anymore than there’s anything wrong with you!

To help you unravel your stuckness, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities and a meet and greet.

I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings.

She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do or act, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but you block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

Why? If things don’t turn out as you expected, you can get disappointed. However, if you set intentions but stop trying to control exactly how the outcomes should appear, you let go and let God.

Expectations can pull you away from the present moment and foist you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is. By not resisting, you open yourself energetically to infinite possibilities.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all. It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it’s making the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck

It’s important to identify where you feel stuck. Feeling stuck is an emotional response that can leave you feeling there’s no way out. Here are four alternatives that can help:

  1. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to control the outcome by expecting it (or people) to be the way you think it should. Alternative: Relax and anticipate this or something better will occur. Stop trying to micromanage the world. This opens you to tune into new ideas and directions.
  2. You’re beating yourself up with regrets or other limiting thoughts and emotions because of your situation. Alternative: Release judging you, others and your circumstances. Replace it with an empowering perspective that you’re learning, so is everyone else, and all is in divine order and timing.
  3. You’re focusing on how things aren’t working. Alternative: focus on what you choose and the good feeling mojo it creates. Good feeling mojo is what opens you to manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.
  4. You’re pushing to make things happen. Alternative: Stop resisting (and exhausting yourself about) what is and allow things to be the way they are. You getting fussy about it won’t change it or help. Let go. Let God. Set new goals for what you choose. Take action from this perspective.

Feeling stuck may be a clue that it’s time to change direction or attitude. You might have to let go of what you’re holding onto to make way for something even better! 

When you shift your energy, you allow life to create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Archives January 25, 2016

Know someone who might
benefit from reading this? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

To Risk, or Not to Risk, that is the Question

December 3, 2019

anais-nin-quote-blossom-copy

No one really likes to change. Well, we say we do, but we only want the so-called bad things to change. We’d like other things to stay just the way they are, thank you very much.

We often want others and situations to change and for us to stay the same. 

However, when one part of a system changes, everything is affected. It’s like when the body gets hurt – the right leg may be injured, but the other side of the body compensates.

We often resist change. Call it bad. Likewise, when the “good” changes come, everything shifts. In the process, it can feel uncomfortable.

But when it becomes too painful to stay put and remain tight, we’re willing to risk in ways that we may otherwise have thought too painful.

guadalupe-river-sp-10-17-10-before-the-storm

Dynamic scene before the storm.
Guadalupe River State Park

Oh, why not? If you know you’re going to make a change anyway, put yourself out of your misery or discomfort. Take a risk. Be willing to go for the change. Enjoy blossoming!

Reprinted from October 18, 2010

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love.

For information on a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at virginia@soulgoals.com  

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

October 21, 2019

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.

This is a reprint from July 2010

If you’d like support
to stop judging,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Just Need One Good Idea

June 18, 2019

Please enjoy this excerpt from my Soulgoal Missive, which was first published in June 2002.

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”    

George Bernard Shaw


Maybe it took months of house hunting, but it just takes one house to become your dream home, and the rest is history.

Perhaps you looked your entire life for your special someone, but it just takes one person to make the wait worthwhile.

You may desire to take your next step, wherever it is. But it just takes one good idea on which you follow up, and your future will never be the same.

When Tony Robbins’ advisors recommended that he go bankrupt because his partner left him holding the bag for megabucks, he got an idea. He started TV infomercials. Not only did this turn his debt around, it brought him more money and fame than ever before.

When my car broke down, instead of getting it fixed, I decided to use this as an opportunity to stay home and fulfill a desire of mine to write. A couple of months later I realized I needed to focus on generating more business, and the idea came to me to contact people personally about an upcoming event.

Following up on this one idea, which initially my mind had pooh-poohed as unnecessary because my contacts already received a mailing, created lots of energy for both a successful event and me to refocus my attention on business.

One idea that is followed up can make all the difference in your world.

Success Thought:

“Ideas can provide us with autonomy. Ideas can give us freedom. You’ll find you have other options, other places you can go.”
 
Earl Nightingale, Earl Nightingale’s Greatest Discovery



Would you like help in finding
and following up on your
one good idea?

It IS possible!!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.


Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Neville Goddard on Why You Fail… or Succeed

March 11, 2019

A friend, who’s been going through challenging times, told me that she got a nudge to open the book The Power of Awareness by Neville Goddard to receive inspiration and direction. She opened it to any page.

She landed on this quote, which she said was the cause of every problem she’s ever had:

“If your concept of yourself is that you are a failure, you would encounter in your imagination a whole series of incidents in conformance to that concept.

“Thus it is clearly seen how you, by your concept of yourself, determine your present, that is, the particular portion of creation which you now experience, and your future, that is, the particular portion of creation which you will experience.” page 43

How can you dissipate a negative self-concept? With your imagination.

Earlier in this chapter on “Creation,” he gives an example.

“What determines the events which you encounter? And the answer is your concept of yourself. Concepts determine the route that attention follows. Here is a good test to prove this fact. Assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled and observe the route that your attention follows. You will observe that as long as you remain faithful to your assumption, so long will your attention be confronted with images clearly related to that assumption. For example; if you assume that you have a wonderful business, you will notice how in your imagination your attention is focused on incident after incident relating to that assumption. Friends congratulate you, tell you how lucky you are… From there your attention goes to larger offices, bigger bank balances, and many other similarly related events. Persistence in this assumption will results in actually experiencing in fact that which you assumed.”

So, dear friend, consider how you can improve your self-concept.

A low opinion of your self is simply a lie that got drilled into your head. Because you believed it, your energy attracted like experiences to you. Then you had visual proof that others or yourself were right.

Likewise, your success is a reflection of your self-concept.

No ideas can rent space in your thinking unless you let it.

Starting right now, think of one way you can change your self-concept, and live more fully the life you love.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Follow Your Passion: My Impromptu Chat with Musician Ali Pervez Mehdi

May 7, 2018

Sangeet Millineum

 

Doing what you love makes it easier to enjoy a happy life.

I was inspired while talking with Ali, who performed this weekend at the Energies Balanced Spring Yoga Retreat and is singing in the above photo.

My dear friend Amie Maciszewski introduced us. She’s pictured above playing her sitar with the group she founded, Sangeet Millennium.

“It’s all positive.”

“Even the negative is positive,” Ali told us, as I realized I better grab paper and start taking notes. This man exudes happy energy with a ready smile that lights up a room.

He said he knows we’ve heard this before, but it’s about the journey and not the destination.

As he explained, life is the journey. The idea is to enjoy it now and not wait for happiness in the future.

“I used to work in IT and a lot of other jobs, but I wasn’t really happy. So I decided to follow my passion and do what my family has done for generations – play music.”

When he agreed that I could write about him, I wrote the spelling of his name. Ali Pervez Mehdi.

I casually mentioned that I have a CD of beautiful music by a man named Mehdi, and Ali shared a story that he was Mehdi’s grandson.

Really. Wow! They were serious when they told me Ali comes from generations of musicians.

In case you’re not familiar with Mehdi, I did a quick search for you. His gold selling albums have earned him world-wide recognition, which led him to open for Cirque Du Soleil and the California Philharmonic Orchestra amongst other honors. My experience is that his breathtaking music transports us body, mind and spirit.

Music has been Ali’s passion, but he had never committed to it… until he did. “Even though my jobs paid well, I realized this is not me. So I left them.”

Now he travels the world from an array of U.S. cities to Dubai and beyond, singing, performing and being a crew member for other leading musicians.

The pay isn’t the same but he LOVES every minute of it. He’s one of the happiest people I’ve ever met.

To hear the purity of his voice and joyous performance made the audience happy with his choice, too.

He said last year’s problems don’t matter.

When Amie asked which problems, he replied “any problem!”

Are you doing what you love?

Your happiness depends on it.

If happiness and doing what you love have been playing hide and seek, you can bring them to light by a simple shift of focus. Instead of concentrating on what you don’t like, look for what you’re grateful for, what lights you up or feels fun.

Be easy on yourself and enjoy the ride. This is a track that leads to doing what you love.

 

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are you teachable?

April 23, 2018

not teachable

A woman I knew took personal salsa dancing lessons from a friend of mine, who was a big salsa teacher in town. While the woman enjoyed dancing, she had little dance training nor did she have experience in the rhythm or style of Latin dance.

However, that didn’t stop her from telling my friend how she was teaching her wrong and what the steps were supposed to be. She wouldn’t listen to anything other than what she wanted to hear, wouldn’t see how the dance actually looked other than her impression of how she thought it was supposed to look, wouldn’t talk about anything other than her interpretation of what the dance was.

After a couple of classes, she decided to stop the lessons.

She wasn’t teachable, and she wouldn’t allow herself to listen or learn beyond her preconceived ideas.


Several years ago, another woman was desperate to join one of my mastermind programs. Part of the experience is 1:1 partnering sessions, where every couple of weeks team members switch partners. This woman went to each of five team members to share her story in the first week.

After politely listening, each member then redirected her attention to solutions. She wasn’t interested.

Her intention was on others hearing her story and feeling validated. Her focus was centered on her confusion, her circumstances and how what she wanted to do wasn’t working, not on getting on track or manifesting actual results.

Five people called me individually to tell me how they really tried to help her, but she wasn’t open.  Not getting the type of attention she wanted, she left the group after the second week.


“Listen, be teachable. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them. For as long as you are green, you can grow.”      Mother Teresa

“Be teachable. That is the whole secret.”      Vernon Howard


Being heard by others is a gift. Are you also open to receive?

What can you do to be teachable? Choose to be open to the guidance that life brings you moment by moment. Sounds too simple, but your intention will open you to learn.

Are you open to receive ideas and solutions or is your focus on having your story heard? Are you reliving familiar feelings when you repeat your story?

Are you teachable?

 

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Change Is in the Air. Are You Wondering if You’re the Problem? (No, there’s nothing wrong with you.)

March 12, 2018

moon star girl

Their lives were going well, but they felt dissatisfied. Although highly successful and in different professions, the sentiments shared during their individual sessions were the same. They felt unmotivated or they were being held back. Something needed to change, and they didn’t know what or how to move forward.

They thought there was something wrong with themselves. They wanted to “blow out the cobwebs” that left them feeling “blocked, not ready and needing help to get back in the game.”

There was nothing wrong with them.

There’s nothing wrong with you, either.

It’s transition time.

In short, everyone, that includes you, has gone through a lot of changes and learned from them.

You’ve grown from your experiences. Even though things may look like business as usual, they’re not. If you try to do what you’ve always done in the way you’ve always done it, you may find yourself uninspired, confused, stuck, botching deals, making conversational faux pas or wondering if you’re missing the boat.

It’s simply time to move forward in a new way. But how?

Let’s start with the way you think. Thoughts travel on a bandwidth.

If you feel sorry for or bad about yourself, for example, the thoughts that follow will be negative, full of why you can’t do things and how nothing will work. And you’ll prove yourself right. You can’t, and they won’t work.

If you shift your focus to you’re okay, and you’re open to what God or the universe will bring you, then you can receive fresh ideas and directions to create results exceeding your expectations.

This shift can be a tricky bugger because you’ve been receiving ideas for your next step for a while, but subtly. The pointers to your shift may be something you’ve dismissed or thoughts you brushed aside as an interesting possibility. However, these may hold the keys to your future!

Look for what interests you, what makes you curious.

For instance, one of my clients realized it was time to jumpstart her marketing, but she had zero motivation to do it in the way she had in the past. Additionally, although she’s active on Facebook, she’s never approached it as a serious marketing tool.

The more we talked, she realized she had not one but three ideas that had been coming to her about how to use Facebook for business. This piqued her interest and energy to take action.

She also saw that when the world splats her like a bug with what she doesn’t want, she has a choice. Either to let it deflate her or turn it around to clarify and shift her focus to what she does want.


Another woman, who was flatlining about how to approach lucrative and creative business contracts she’d already won, became quite enthusiastic when an idea came to her about a personal project she could pursue.

Here’s why finding something that interests you is important:

Generally, if we have several things working and one that isn’t, we tend to focus on the one that isn’t. This bandwidth pulls us DOWN so we block our creative flow.

By focusing on something that interests us, we open ourselves UP to new visions that can inspire us to take action. When this happens, ideas can come to us about everything, including how to break free from whatever holds us back.


What fleeting thoughts have you had recently about new directions? Maybe they seemed to come from left field, so you didn’t pay much attention to them. However, they could be clues for you.

What interests you?  What excites you? Explore that.

The world awaits your specialness that only YOU have! The discomfort of change is your Inner Essence nudging you forward to your greatness.

Take a step.

There’s always a way out.

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Having Fun Yet?

June 26, 2017

 

I was fortunate. I didn’t lose my home or life from floods that caused FEMA to take residence in my town for several months a couple of years ago. However, months of dealing with mold in my house and body took a heavy toll on my health and finances.

Even though three vets told me there was nothing to do for my sick cat, and one suggested I put her to sleep, she decided she wasn’t ready to go and stayed with me for two more years. This translated to round-the-clock caretaking that exhausted me.

After all that passed, including my precious companion, I knew it was essential to go out and participate in life again.

Otherwise, my focus would’ve been stuck on the adversities of my past. As like attracts like, it would’ve put me on a downward spiral to the “same ole, same (challenging) ole.”

A road trip beckoned that awakened me to enjoy life. Since then, I’ve been finding ways to have fun and laugh – from an entertaining drag show to an airboat ride on the Colorado River to a free Bollywood dance class on the same stage that the ballet uses. For months, every week I saw new-to-me performances, including music from around the world to The Temptations and Four Tops.

Additionally, there were art museums, plays, ziplining, hiking at state parks, restaurants, massages and a sake tour.

There are magnets on my fridge holding ticket stubs and flyers from the many programs I attended, reminding me to continue to play.

By the way, thanks to online deals from companies like Groupon, LivingSocial and Travelzoo, fun things to do can be found super cheap. Many museums have a day or weekend every month where you can go for free, and some concert halls offer 2 for 1 specials.

In the process of getting out, I rested, had fun, got my mojo back and felt like I was living again. My business grew, too.

When I decided it was time to settle down and get back to work, and didn’t go out for a few weeks, my business and income slowed down, too! 


I remember the exact instance, before I started to play, when this thought came to me:  If I died and went to the other side, what would I say I’d done for myself?

My answer was: I almost got caught up. So many things on my To Do list were getting done, but there was so much left to do. And, yes, I’ve helped a lot of people and have accomplishments.

But what about me?

What would you say about how you’ve had fun and taken care of yourself?


I’ve recognized that when I don’t take time to play, the inflow and outflow of life energy becomes out of balance.

It reminds me of Mastermind Principle #6 from my course Resolved for Results:  I believe I am worthy and deserve to achieve my goals or something better, and I choose to use my personal empowerment on my behalf, which allows me to serve life more fully.

What’s your legacy beyond family, work, accomplishments and making money?

Are you having fun yet?

Life is designed to be satisfying. If it’s not, it’s time to change your perspective, and do something different.

The weird thing is that when we break free from primarily focusing on the dutiful acts that we have to do, and include time to play, our lives, business and work improve.

Old age is no longer another notch on the yearly calendar. Age is a state of mind. A way of being.

Look at life as energy and vibration. When you raise your energy by having fun, you’re on the wavelength to attract longevity, more money, better clients, relationships and health.

If you haven’t already, you now can give yourself permission to play, have fun and enjoy the rich variety that the world has to offer.

Before, I didn’t even know what it meant to play.

Where to start? Find one activity that looks interesting and do it.

Have you ever been not that hungry? Then after a eating few bites, you realized you couldn’t stop. Playing and fun can be like that, too.

By creating more fun, as well as sharing it, you might even spark romance!

Are you ready to make this lifetime count beyond work, duties and survival? Go have fun!

With playful gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.