Posts Tagged ‘What am I going to do?’

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

Can’t Figure Out What to Do?

June 4, 2018

boy at crossroad

A 14-year old boy kept repeating to his mom that he didn’t know what to do. She astutely realized that he was too young to be obsessing like this. Taking full responsibility, she told him that this was her issue and not his.

In fact, her mother had the same default pattern, when problems arose, of feeling like she didn’t know what to do, and it was passed on intergenerationally – from mother to daughter to son.

Not knowing what to do was a learned response. They copied their parents’ response when challenged. It wasn’t that they couldn’t know what to do, but these automatic thoughts made them stuck.

I understood because my mother had the same pattern. When a confounding problem arose, she would resort to deer-in-headlights mode, being blinded temporarily. With some quandaries, it became permanent.

Having absorbed this pattern myself (until I was able to notice when it showed up), I would adopt the same mental responses: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. 

The result was feeling stuck, not knowing where to turn.


The ego, the false identity we all have, uses limited techniques. Nonetheless, we often buy into them hook, line and sinker. It will have us question our ability to believe in ourselves by popping in circular thoughts like “what am I going to do. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve got to figure it out.”

If we haven’t had a particular experience before, there’s no reason why we should know what to do. However, the ego will have us beat ourselves up, sometimes mercilessly, leading us to believe there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out what to do.


The ego is a computer that only knows what it’s been programmed to do. For example, if a computer hasn’t been programmed for the Swahili language, it’s impossible for it to communicate in Swahili. Nor would we expect that it should.

However, we can get very upset with ourselves for not knowing the answer to something with which we’ve had no experience.

There is a way out! Our inner essence, the wise part within, has access to unlimited intelligence. By asking our inner wisdom, we can find answers.

Once I had a stressful situation where I noticed that I silently was repeating in circles: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?

I recognized that there’s a part of me that absolutely had no clue to a solution. None.

Instead, I asked a part of me that knows. What can I do?

Off I left for an appointment. While walking back to my car after my meeting, an idea came to me. It was a simple solution that only required me to drive somewhere to address the situation in person. Problem solved.

Don’t bother getting upset with yourself when you feel stuck. That would be falling for the ego’s tricks. Skip feeling miserable.

Instead, ask the part of you that has wisdom and can access answers beyond your wildest imagination. 

Your answers are within.

 
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

NEED ANSWERS? POP IT IN!

April 29, 2011

 When something went wrong, my old response was to gasp and think: “Oh no. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.” I’d repeat it again and again – but I didn’t even realize I was saying it.

 Next came the sickish anxiety in my gut. Fear clutched me like tentacles from a sci-fi film. Solutions had no way to penetrate that thick gunk of worry.

 One afternoon, I discovered that I went over a credit card limit that day. All I could think about were the fees, marks on my credit report and a higher interest rate.

 I noticed a broken record playing in my head. What was it? “What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”

 Funny how that mantra sounded like my mother!

 When I heard it, I changed my tune.

 I said to myself, “There’s a part of me that doesn’t have a clue about what to do. There’s another part that knows. I ask my wise self to pop in an answer.”

I Got What I Asked For

 After my request, I relaxed, let the situation go, and left for an appointment. As I walked to my car after my meeting, an idea popped in my head. Drive straight to the bank and pay the overage before the end of the business day.

 When I did and the bank heard my concern, they also extended my credit limit. Problem solved; benefits gained.

 Learning to relax and trust that all will be taken care of, no matter what, helps to wash away the goo of confusion. After all, if God takes care of the flowers and birds, surely you and I rate, too. But what about getting answers?

 A theme found in several Biblical references offers age old wisdom. Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Put These Together.  Don’t Worry. Ask for Help.

 Now, when I need answers, I place a simple request: POP IT IN.

 For example, I’m writing and get stuck. What I used to do was:

  • Whine: You know the mantra.
  • Worry: “What if I don’t get an answer?”
  • Get angry and complain: “I don’t have time for this.”
  • Feel like a helpless victim: “Why is this happening to me?”

 Now, I ask inwardly for help: “I need a headline. POP IT IN.”

 The answer comes – either immediately or after it incubates for a while.

 Prayers are always answered in divine right timing, Therefore, I let the concern go and do something else. This takes care of the seeking and knocking.

 Taking action refocuses me. It helps me to detach from fixating on results and when they should arrive.

 Easy. Simple. Clear.

Only Supportive Ideas Are Welcome.

 By the way, if an unsupportive idea pops in your head, pop it out. It’s your head, so claim dominion of it. Don’t give your power away to negative thinking. You have the power to pop in or out what goes in it.

 When those supportive ideas pop in, even if they’re a little outside-the-box, act on them. This is a key.

 Remember, everything is given according to your belief. If you allow the possibility, this really works.

 I invite you to experiment. Need answers? Relax and ask inwardly to “POP IT IN!”