Archive for the ‘Beliefs’ Category

Do You REALLY Want What You Think You Want?

November 27, 2017

 

mirage2f

Want water or a mirage?

 

 

A woman, at a presentation I gave, told me how she was dreading an upcoming holiday.

She and her husband would soon divorce, and he would be with another woman, not with her and the children.

I inquired about their past, holiday celebrations. Were they fun, heart-warming, family times?

Oh no. Those were never happy times. He was usually drunk, and since she became sober, the two of them were even more distant.

What she wanted so dearly wasn’t that man during the holiday but a loving, family gathering.

Yet, she mourned the idea of not spending the holiday together — a lovely idea that didn’t exist at the best of times.

After a brief discussion, she was able to let go of her faulty idea that she’d be missing a wonderful, family experience, one they never had.

When she put this in perspective, her suffering stopped.

Later while in my Resolved for Results program, she was able to see more clearly.

Instead of the misery she felt previously, she became happily divorced. She realized she didn’t want a broken family with a person who had neither the interest nor ability to be part of a loving family.

In its place, she designed her ideal, family situation… and manifested it!

Sometimes we get an image of what we think we want and try to superimpose it on a current situation; we try to make it work — even though what’s happening doesn’t match up with what we REALLY want.

Same is true in relationships and business– people fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person or livelihood.

How can you know what you really want?

In Resolved for Results, I make the distinction this way:

“The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t.”

Mirages are illusions that look real but ultimately are unfulfilling. They only will frustrate and disappoint when you get closer to them and see them for what they are.

A definition of mirage is something that appears real or possible but in fact isn’t actually so.

Often people chase mirages because they convince themselves they’re the real deal. Mirages look like water. They need and want water. So it’s water.

It reminds me of a woman who laughingly commented on her marriage. Prince Charming became Prince Alarming.

People see what they want to see. Most are happy with their illusions until they get close enough to see that the water was just a mirage.


Here’s why this is good news:

  • You can more clearly discern what you really want when you see what you don’t want,
  • You can change emotional habits, such as feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, frustrated, worried, or being down on yourself or others about what’s not working. Habits and beliefs are just patterns of thoughts and feelings that can shift.
  • You can train your mind to focus on what you really want instead of being fixated on what you don’t want.
  • You can learn how to trust yourself and use your feelings as a GPS.
  • You can enhance your practice of gratitude. (A footnote to my last post on continuous gratitude. I’ve been practicing this for a while, although I slip in and out of this habit. When I focus on continuous gratitude, no matter what, things always work out!)

You have power in your clarity.

Even if you realize that what you thought you wanted is out of alignment with what you really want, you can now redirect your focus. Because of your new focus, you can manifest something better than you ever imagined!

By the way, if you reach the conclusion that you’re wrong, you screwed up and think beating yourself up will whip you back in shape, think again.

This thinking is a mirage.

Life is designed as a learning experience, which aids your growth. It’s not created with the purpose of disapproving of you. So don’t should on yourself.

It’s all good, including you!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Who Do You Believe More – You or Others? 

November 13, 2017

break free - believe

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.



If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.


Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Satisfied or Settling?

October 30, 2017

Shaw - create yourself

What you want and what inspires you to feel happy changes over time.

Your focus as a baby is different from when you’re a young adult ready to launch a new phase of this human adventure and varies at every stage of you being alive.

Likewise, what satisfies you shapeshifts.

Perhaps you are on or have had a financially safe and profitable career path, and you keep telling yourself that you should be happy. However, if you’re honest with yourself, it may be unfulfilling and you want more — something different, more meaningful with more money, more time and more fun.

Maybe you’re unsatisfied and are ready to make a change, but you believe it’s too impractical, you’re too old in today’s market to do something different or you don’t know what else you’d do that will pay you enough.

So you settle.

Once I met a man at a party who had to close his business a couple of years prior to our conversation.

He was an adamant advocate of his limited beliefs. It was too late to start anything else. It took him twenty years to build his old business, and it would take that long to do it again. That’s a fact. Period. There was no other way of looking at it.

He couldn’t see that maybe, in his recreation of his next step, it could be easier and success could come faster. His view was that this was impossible.

I remembered the saying, don’t try to teach a pig how to fly. First, pigs can’t fly. Second, you just irritate the pig.

Mind you, he wasn’t a pig. But I could see that he got irritated thinking beyond his self-imposed doom.

Although he appeared to be a nice man, he was one of the unhappiest and most negative people I’ve ever met.


There is a way to manifest your heart’s desire that exceeds your wildest imagination. It starts by getting in touch with the soul of your goal.

Following is an excerpt from my Resolved for Results program.

Have you ever desired something and, when you got it, realized it wasn’t what you really wanted? You asked for a specific outcome but didn’t clarify the soul of your goal, its essence.

Well, that explains the divorce rate.

Have you ever desired something, got something else instead, and then realized it was better than what you asked for? You tapped into the soul of your goal…

The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t…

Even if you don’t know how to label what you want, you can identify the soul of your goal.

If you’re ready for change, even if you can’t describe what it looks like specifically, you can receive satisfying results.

A friend told me that she got what she asked for but not what she wanted:

  • A woman, who cared for others, wondered when it was going to be her turn to be taken care of. She found out when her health challenges required years of daily caretaking by others.

 Lacking clarity on the soul of your goal can bring less than satisfying results.


While there are simple steps to clarify and align yourself with the soul of your goal, here’s something that may help you to start. Again It’s from my Resolved for Results program:

TIP: Clear and conscious intentions create a blueprint of what you choose. They replace unconscious pictures you carry from default programming. You attract what you energize with clarity and feeling.

Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.

You don’t have to settle! You can go beyond trying to find yourself, a better life, career or business. You can be satisfied by consciously creating your ideal life or something better!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts

or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

Wondering What to Do or If Things Will Work? Help Is On the Way!

October 25, 2017
 

what to do

Feel alone, wondering what to do? Will things work out?

 

Many long for more but are unclear of either their direction or how to get what they want.

During recent travels, here’s what I heard about people’s lives, directions and goals:

  • Feel discontent because they want something different and more aligned with their purpose, but they have little or no clue as to what that is, let alone how to attain it.
  • Have a dream or a goal but don’t know how to get it.
  • Not moving fast enough to get what they really want.
  • Lack clarity about the best people/company/direction to move forward with regarding work, business or launching a new venture.
  • Are stuck because they know they’re worth more but aren’t clear on how to take action confidently and effectively to get the best results.
  • Aren’t acknowledged, appreciated or paid well for their gifts or services.
  • Are well paid in their current job, but they’d rather focus on their gifts.
  • Feel unsatisfied and unhappy even though they’re in a seemingly good position, personally or professionally.
  • Pay the bills but want more in life.
  • Harbor an underlying fear that they’ll make a mistake, be embarrassed and waste valuable time and energy.
  • Don’t want to face disappointment or fail.

There’s always a way out so you can live the life you choose! You have a choice:

  • Spin in indecision.  However, a spinning top won’t attract clarity and favorable outcomes.
  • Alternately, align with the belief that, regardless of appearances, all is well and help is on the way.

If you focus your attention on the latter, you become a magnet for success.

To expand on this understanding, here’s an excerpt from my Resolved for Results program.


Drowning in a Sea of Wondering if Things Will Work

I wrote this to one of my team members who was going through challenges:

I really know what it’s like when we feel our life is sinking and we’re drowning in a sea of wondering if things will ever work — or if we’ll be submerged too long and sink before a life saver comes to save us.

That being said, regardless of this eddy of emotion, we simply have to believe and will eventually know that there’s always at least a piece of driftwood to carry us to the shore. That’s part of the lesson.

Often, we’re so preoccupied splashing about and gasping for air that we don’t divert our attention to see the Coast Guard has been calling our name to let us know we’re safe.

Our journey involves shifting from our incessant splashing to looking for and being grateful for what’s available.

Then we refocus our vision and see that help is on the way.


You can:

  • Sit in frustration, anger, confusion, blame, regret, disappointment or beating yourself or others up. These can not bring you results you choose and are self-defeating frequencies. That’s like being tuned to a heavy metal radio station wondering when classical music will start to play.
  • Alternately, even if you don’t have a clue how, trust that help is on the way. In doing so, you align yourself with and are open to miracles, fortuitous coincidences and being in the right place at the right time while feeling that success can happen for you. Yes, you.

The first step to your success is beginning or deepening one idea: Things are working out for you, you know what to do and help is on the way.

Then tune in to your next step, because one is always available for you.

It may be taking action on something that’s been rolling around your head for a while or asking for help.

Maybe it’s to pause and do nothing in the moment because the timing isn’t right.

Keep it simple.

You probably tried not trusting yourself or life. From direct experience, you saw the results. Why not approach things from a different perspective?

You deserve the fulfillment your new alignment brings!

 

By the way, know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.   

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

“I Honestly Didn’t Think I’d Ever… Be Happy.”

October 16, 2017

 

Depressed icelandic sculpture (2)

Sad Statue in Reykjavik, Iceland

 

“I think Virginia has met the person she can’t help,” confessed my client about her previous thoughts. However, feeling better than the dark pit she’d been in for years, she decided to take my Resolved for Results program a second time.

At 60-years-old, she told me she was “habitually, genetically, psychologically, emotionally and medically depressed.” 

For over ten years, she was “flatlined, checked out and not showing much interest in anything.” Add to that traits she learned during her childhood from an emotionally unstable parent: judgmental and overly critical of others and herself.

We met at a gym many years earlier. She recalled that I was friendly towards her and did some kind of work about career and business. She thought about contacting me but never did.

Just before her divorce from a 27-year marriage and leaving the house she helped to design and build, she reached out for help.

“I had to do something different. I had to trust someone because my voice, what I had been telling myself, wasn’t reliable.”

This was a world away from who she was at 16-years-old.

As a teenager, she was an apprentice to an artist from whom she received extensive lessons and even traveled with this man and his family. Visiting them every summer in Santa Fe, they became another set of parents to her for seven years.

It was during their trip to Mexico that he developed his distinctive style that catapulted him to become a world-famous artist whose work is now displayed in the Smithsonian.

Eventually, they went their separate ways.

My client married a good man and joined him to create a successful, construction business.  She believed she “should” have been happy, yet she spiraled down into an ever-deepening depression.

She beat herself up heavily for this, wondering what was wrong with her.

Used to blaming herself, she didn’t realize her self-proclaimed fault wasn’t the reason for how she felt.

Not doing what she loved was at the core of her depression.

She talked herself into believing this didn’t matter, yet she now sees that “this was the key to my soul!”

How she went from “the dark side” to the light.

My client began to experience feeling up and then returned to her familiar down periods. As she learned new tools and perspectives, she was able to sustain feeling good for longer periods of time.

Yet, she didn’t trust feeling light because it was different from the darkness that became her uncomfortable, comfort zone.

Unbeknownst to her, she’d been in preparation for when her new self emerged, which she now calls “a person I don’t even know who’s now come back.”

When her famed teacher came to her town, she felt well enough emotionally and mentally to attend his exhibit with another artist friend.

Little did she realize that being in this environment would trigger her turning point. Her spark for living reignited, and her whole life transformed into a joy that she didn’t believe she’d ever experience.

One month since her “shift” and in a few days from the time of my writing this, she’ll be a guest at this artist’s home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, for a couple of weeks. After, she’ll visit friends in Colorado, a trip she wasn’t up to making a few months ago.


Because of her extra-ordinary and personal background as his student and apprentice as well as being considered one of the family, she’s enthusiastically considering a professional recommendation to write a memoir about her experience with this artist and his early days.

It took her nine months to make this dramatic turnaround and overcome more than a decade of sadness and inertia. She got her life back.

“Before and during the beginning of my working with you, I never believed that I would be anything other than dark and depressed.”

There was no way she would have dreamed up or planned the way life orchestrated what’s now happening.

Her change was possible because she:

  • Resolved to change
  • Got help
  • Gained clarity
  • Let go of the past
  • Unveiled and released beliefs she didn’t know were holding her back
  • Learned new tools and perspectives
  • Followed the positive voice in her head instead of the negative ones
  • Set powerful intentions. 

All of these changed her energy, which led her to be at the right place at the right time and willing to receive her heartfelt desires and happiness… even though they seemed impossible!  


One month after meeting her old teacher, she sent me this text:

“Still up!!!

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.

Thank you for believing in me and teaching me how to be happy.”

After years of isolating herself and being withdrawn from the world, now she “can’t stop talking.”

Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.

She told me, “I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life.”

It’s never too late to do what you love and be happy!

Don’t give up.

It’s worth overcoming your mental chatter and limiting beliefs that you can’t do what you love because of fill in the blank reasons.

You are worth it.

You can be financially successful. You can build your business to stellar levels, enjoy your ideal work or share your gifts in a BIGGER way.

You can be happy.

Starting now, you can create your best life ever! It’s your choice.


 

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Wonder What Your Future Will Bring?

October 14, 2017

Jekyl hyde

“When you get to be my age, everything scares you,” an 82-year-old told me. “Just watching TV is enough to make you afraid. You’ll see.”

Because I’ve heard similar comments over my lifetime of “when you get to be my age” followed by limited thinking, I paused.

I noticed how she shared her negativity in a joking way while her attitude depressed and subdued people around her.

This time instead of reacting, I replied, “I made a decision not to be afraid.”

Silence.

In contrast, I had a delightful conversation with Ms. Belle, a 79-year-old. She commented that looking at the way we’re talking, anyone would think we’re old friends. We met only 20 minutes earlier in a neighborhood store.

She told me, “You’ve got to be positive. Life is short.”

She’s amazed at how she meets lovely people wherever she goes, and that there are so many wonderful people in the world.

She goes to the gym and rides a bicycle. One day, she realized that she loves to exercise. She enjoys talking and having fun with others while there, too.

Ms. Belle shared with me the importance of keeping our memory, especially as some people will take advantage of you if you don’t remember things.

Hint: Just like you can make a decision not to be afraid, you can choose to retain your memory, even if you feel it’s not as good as you’d like it to be now. Start by no longer talking about and focusing on how you don’t have a good memory!

So much of life and business is about decisions and perspective.

Which attitudes, behaviors and actions of yours (and others) are you willing to tolerate? Do you see people (including you) and life as inherently bad or good?

Your answers will determine your success. Negativity won’t breed positivity.

Everyone has beliefs. Many are held onto so dearly that you might feel that if you stopped believing them, you’ll go straight to that inferno down below.

Some beliefs upon which you base your life may be the very ones that are holding you back!

If you allow fear and a habit of complaining to control you, you could find yourself on a slippery slope that doesn’t lead to success.

Many blame others, blind to connecting the dots of how their own choices and beliefs created their circumstances.

Wonder what your future will bring? It will bear the fruit of your current and past thoughts, feelings and attitudes, as the two above-mentioned women demonstrate.

Your future will bring you the products of your beliefs just as your present is a reflection of your past ones.

You have the power within you to choose to be afraid of your own shadow or to be courageous.

In this moment, you can change the way you feel about you and the mental picture you carry about yourself and your future.

You can decide nothing will stop you from living the life and having the business or work of your dreams, in spite of the odds.

 

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.  I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

Not enough time? This story may help you.

July 25, 2017

“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.

On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.

There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.

Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.

Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.

After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.

As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.

Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.

Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

How he set himself up for stress

While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.

Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.

Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.

His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?

After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:

“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low.  Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”

As an adult, stress still garnered him attention.  Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.

One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.

In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.

An alternative

Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.

At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.

A co-worker just happened to call.

When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.

Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:

  • Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
  • Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
  • By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
  • In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.

If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off? 

Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.

Start releasing patterns through awareness 

  • Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
  • Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
  • Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
  • Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
  • Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”

When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.

What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Tyranny or Freedom?

July 3, 2017

While living in Washington, D.C., I’d park my car, run up 58 steps and be in awe at the towering and erect presence of one of the great men who founded the United States of America. Thomas Jefferson also served as our third President from 1801 to 1809.

I sometimes visited the Jefferson Memorial when I could be alone in this hallowed sanctum. It was possible to do because it’s open around the clock.

Standing amidst the white marble steps and building, my eyes would gaze at the 129′ bronze statue and excerpts of the Declaration of Independence, whose principal author was Jefferson.

However, the reason I kept returning was to slowly turn in a circle to read the inscription under the dome:

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”  Thomas Jefferson to Dr. Benjamin Rush, September 23, 1800.

I didn’t realize at the time how these words, which still bring tears to my eyes, would be emblazoned within me. They inspired my lifetime passion, “upon the altar of God,” to help others and myself live in freedom through liberation of the “tyranny over the mind of man.”

The definition of tyranny includes the oppression, often cruel, of people or a government over others. Another aspect is an unreasonable or arbitrary use of power or control.

For me, there’s a twist to this. It reminds me of a quote by American Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry in 1813.  Most famously, it was quipped by cartoonist Walt Kelly on a couple of Earth Day posters when Pogo said:

The voice in your head, motivated by an insecure ego, can be your enemy and create the greatest form of tyranny.

These inner rants can be cruel, unreasonable, oppressive and arbitrary. If you allow this to dominate, you relinquish control of your life.

Know that you have the power of choice! 

You can choose to listen to your Essence, instead.


Especially those familiar with my teachings about “choosing,” you might be interested in this. When I was thirty years old, I had the first sentence of the following quote by Jefferson on a wall plate of a light switch:

“Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for oneself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice, and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing.”

Pondering this message regularly, I knew there was more to it than I could understand at the time. I’m now aware of this:

We are free to choose. We are so free, we can choose fear or freedom.

We choose our thoughts, which impact our emotions, which creates our lives. What hinders our freedom is allowing our minds to be tyrannized by any limiting beliefs. From anyone. From any circumstance or condition. From the tyrannical inner voice.


A client showed me a picture of a tow truck driver who quickly and skillfully used multiple cables to turn upright a parked truck that had been hit by a car and had completely flipped over.

The driver was very good-natured, and his demeanor radiated a cheerful attitude and peace.

Both of his arms stopped below his elbows.

He had a prosthetic leg, too.

He is a living demonstration of choosing his attitude and outlook on life. He wasn’t tyrannized by his physical condition and whatever caused it.


We in America celebrate our country’s birthday on the Fourth of July, our Independence Day. It’s a time of freedom.

While talking with others about a life-changing break for freedom during the week of July 4th when I was 20, others shared their stories of freedom that happened around this time, too.

Soon, the French will celebrate their day of freedom on July 14, Bastille Day.

Tyranny or freedom?

You can choose to hold in your mind’s eye the freedom and intentions that our forefathers envisioned while founding the United States.

What freedom and independence do you choose for you?

Start with freeing yourself from the tyranny of your mind, where nothing and nobody can touch you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

God Knows and God Shows

June 19, 2017

 

A woman, accompanied by a supermarket employee, apologized when she bumped into me. As she frantically swooshed by me again moments later, she turned her head to tell me that she was looking for her keys. I responded: “Say ‘God knows, and God shows.'” She saw her keys within seconds next to a weight scale!


A relative misplaced a big check with several zeroes on it for a couple of weeks. When she called me about it, I told her to repeat God knows, and God shows. Within two hours, I received a message that she found it in a dresser drawer.


“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein


Why saying God knows, and God shows works.

 

  1. Using a practical application of Einstein’s quote, if your thinking is on loss or what you can’t find, then it’s not on the wavelength of finding. It’s like being on an AM station and looking for FM. You can’t find it because looking and finding are different frequencies.
  2. God knows, and God shows is a tool to let go and surrender. It allows you to let go of focusing on lack (what you don’t have or can’t find), and open to receive a higher energy to “solve our problems.” Think of it as surrendering a caterpillar’s perspective so you can enjoy a butterfly’s view.
  3. You release the need to find something, which often has energies like anxiety attached to it. As like attracts like, neediness attracts more reasons to feel anxious or frustrated. Even though it seems that it shouldn’t be this way, you’ll get more of whatever you’re feeling, not what you say you want. God knows, and God shows allows a greater power to refocus you and override limiting beliefs, such as “I don’t know where it is.” “I can’t find it.”

Don’t take my word for it. Experiment. Use these words while being open to the possibility of getting results, instead of being closed with a stubborn defiance of “prove it.”

By the way, you can use language like “the universe knows, and the universe shows,” if this feels more comfortable for you.

Let’s expand the application to business and life.

Looking for new business, your ideal job or to make more money? Don’t know where to find it? God knows, and God shows. You are now on the wavelength to attract new clients, greater wealth and more opportunities.

Feel stuck about anything? Instead of wallowing in disappointment, you’ll get on track faster in any area of your life by proclaiming, “God knows, and God shows.”

Follow the trail to your rainbow, one step at a time.

Happy manifesting.

With gratitude,

Virginia P.S.

Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.