Posts Tagged ‘feel stuck’

Escape the Quicksand of Fear

September 21, 2020

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was until I realized it was everything!

It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like, so when the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. More things to fear.

What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt the fear was justified, being afraid grew exponentially; it was like adding sugar to yeast. “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.”

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only after coming home from burying my cat who suddenly died and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

All my successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape. It’s a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present.

Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface. Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, you will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax. In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

Let go of struggling and relax!

Originally posted on February 26, 2012

 

If you’d like help escaping the quicksand in your life,
contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Are You Jumping to the Right Conclusion?

August 24, 2020

 

After sitting through a couple of traffic lights behind a car that wouldn’t budge, my friend got very annoyed.

He thought, what’s wrong with these people along with several choice expletives.

Finally, he angrily swerved around to get in the lane next to them. In the car was a man and a child in the passenger seat.

As my friend turned to the driver to give him a piece of his mind, the man asked, “Which way to the hospital? I have to take my child to the hospital, and I don’t know if I need to turn right or left.”

With this new information and perspective, his annoyance instantly left. He became fully engaged in helping.

Recently, a woman explained how she was quite bothered by something I’d said. She felt upset for months, since we had our last conversation. When we finally talked again, she told me that she didn’t know how I could’ve said such a thing and made analogies all pointing to why she should be indignant.

She assumed the story she was telling herself was correct, and therefore she was justifiably angry with me.  

A couple of minutes into her explanation, when I realized she had totally misinterpreted the point I was making, I clarified what I had said. Very quickly, the story and irritation at me that she’d been holding onto for so long evaporated.

I suggested that, in the future, she talk with me if she had an issue rather than jump to conclusions.

If you find yourself upset about something and jumping to conclusions, take a step back and observe. Is this a one-time or ongoing occurrence? Might there be a different way of connecting the dots? There may be a different way of handling this.

Perhaps there’s a lesson for you to learn. Maybe there’s a different story you can tell about it and discover a new conclusion.

Are you using or misusing your imagination?

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archives, February 4, 2019

Ready to find clarity and discover
how you can jump to the conclusion
that you can get what you really want…
or something better?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

4 Ways to Get Unstuck… and how you create unnecessary pain and suffering

July 20, 2020

Feeling stalled out or stuck during Covid time? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. By the way, just because it’s stuck, there’s nothing wrong with the cat anymore than there’s anything wrong with you!

To help you unravel your stuckness, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities and a meet and greet.

I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings.

She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do or act, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but you block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

Why? If things don’t turn out as you expected, you can get disappointed. However, if you set intentions but stop trying to control exactly how the outcomes should appear, you let go and let God.

Expectations can pull you away from the present moment and foist you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is. By not resisting, you open yourself energetically to infinite possibilities.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all. It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it’s making the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck

It’s important to identify where you feel stuck. Feeling stuck is an emotional response that can leave you feeling there’s no way out. Here are four alternatives that can help:

  1. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to control the outcome by expecting it (or people) to be the way you think it should. Alternative: Relax and anticipate this or something better will occur. Stop trying to micromanage the world. This opens you to tune into new ideas and directions.
  2. You’re beating yourself up with regrets or other limiting thoughts and emotions because of your situation. Alternative: Release judging you, others and your circumstances. Replace it with an empowering perspective that you’re learning, so is everyone else, and all is in divine order and timing.
  3. You’re focusing on how things aren’t working. Alternative: focus on what you choose and the good feeling mojo it creates. Good feeling mojo is what opens you to manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.
  4. You’re pushing to make things happen. Alternative: Stop resisting (and exhausting yourself about) what is and allow things to be the way they are. You getting fussy about it won’t change it or help. Let go. Let God. Set new goals for what you choose. Take action from this perspective.

Feeling stuck may be a clue that it’s time to change direction or attitude. You might have to let go of what you’re holding onto to make way for something even better! 

When you shift your energy, you allow life to create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Archives January 25, 2016

Know someone who might
benefit from reading this? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Need Answers? Here’s How to Get Them.

June 9, 2020

During this time of challenges and changes, we can start to question. What’s happening to my life and the world? Am I on the right track? So many choices… what should I do?  Is there something for me to contribute, especially amidst such universal unrest? Is there a higher perspective to make sense of it all?

There are as many answers and opinions as there are people.

A key to life, though, is being able to listen to your Self – not your outer swirl of emotions or trying to fit into to others’ ideas about how you should live your life.

There is a way to be empowered by finding your own answers. The more you practice listening to your Self, the better you’re able to hear with clarity.

Here’s a repost from a Soulgoals’ Archive, April 29, 2011, that may help.

 

When something went wrong, my old response was to gasp and think: “Oh no. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.” I’d repeat it again and again – but I didn’t even realize I was saying it.

Next came the sickish anxiety in my gut. Fear clutched me like tentacles from a sci-fi film. Solutions had no way to penetrate that thick gunk of worry.

One afternoon, I discovered that I went over a credit card limit that day. All I could think about were the fees, marks on my credit report and a higher interest rate.

I noticed a broken record playing in my head. What was it? “What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do.”

Funny how that mantra sounded like my mother!

When I heard it, I changed my tune.

I said to myself, “There’s a part of me that doesn’t have a clue about what to do. There’s another part that knows. I ask my wise self to pop in an answer.”

I Got What I Asked For

After my request, I relaxed, let the situation go, and left for an appointment. As I walked to my car after my meeting, an idea popped in my head. Drive straight to the bank and pay the overage before the end of the business day.

When I did and the bank heard my concern, they also extended my credit limit. Problem solved; benefits gained.

Learning to relax and trust that all will be taken care of, no matter what, helps to wash away the goo of confusion. After all, if God takes care of the flowers and birds, surely you and I rate, too. But what about getting answers?

A theme found in several Biblical references offers age old wisdom.

Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Put These Together:  Don’t Worry.  Ask for Help.

Now, when I need answers, I place a simple request: POP IT IN.

For example, I’m writing and get stuck. What I used to do was:

  • Whine: You know the mantra I used.
  • Worry: “What if I don’t get an answer?”
  • Get angry and complain: “I don’t have time for this.”
  • Feel like a helpless victim: “Why is this happening to me?”

Now, I ask inwardly for help: “I need a headline. POP IT IN.”

The answer comes – either immediately or after it incubates for a while.

Prayers are always answered in divine right timing, Therefore, I let the concern go and do something else. This takes care of the seeking and knocking.

Taking action refocuses me. It helps me to detach from fixating on results and when they should arrive.

Easy. Simple. Clear.

Only Supportive Ideas Are Welcome.

By the way, if an unsupportive idea pops in your head, pop it out. It’s your head, so claim dominion of it. Don’t give your power away to negative thinking. You have the power to pop in or out what goes in it.

When those supportive ideas pop in, even if they’re a little outside-the-box, act on them. This is a key.

Remember, everything is given according to your belief. If you allow the possibility, this really works.

I invite you to experiment. Need answers? Relax and ask inwardly to “POP IT IN!”

 

 

Virginia Goszewska, the founder of Soulgoals, believes each person and business has a way to contribute to life. The coaching systems she developed that help people find clarity, take action and experience personal and professional success are based on decades of research and experience. As a regional manager with a worldwide, top ten, Inc. 500 company and at top-level executive positions of international corporations, Virginia received awards in sales, training, management and business development. From Southeast Asia to the United Kingdom, people around the world have benefited from her expert coaching, compassionate insights and common sense.

http://www.soulgoals.com

Virginia offers complimentary Break-Free sessions by phone, holds workshops, seminars, team building programs and is a keynote speaker. She can be contacted at virginia@soulgoals.com  or (512) 842-1231.

Please feel free to forward this to friends and associates in its entirety.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Short Story: Frustration with a Happy Ending

February 17, 2020

A client manifested nearly doubling the size of her facility for a great price while attracting countless miracles in the process – including her competition wanting to reserve a room there for a weekly group. This could translate to more customers learning about her and expanding her current business.

However, there were so many demands for her new space that opportunity turned to frustration as scheduling became a distressing challenge… until she had a change of heart.

She emailed this to me so I can share it with you.

“I’ve been seriously stressing over how to work this other group into the schedule without upsetting people who currently are taking my classes during those times.

“Of course, I was hearing many opinions on changing to different times and was trying to figure out a way to keep everyone happy – including the other group.

“I realized at some point early Tuesday (somewhere around 3 or 4 AM) that it would work out the way it was meant to, and let it go.

“With or without the other group, my business has a great schedule and a lot to offer.

“By Tuesday afternoon, we easily figured out the schedule with the other group, and it looks great!

I listened to my gut and let it go.

At 8 AM on Friday, she gave me an update that had just occurred within the previous half hour.

“Here’s another miracle.”

She had renovations scheduled so she could open her doors in three days – with the exception of painting. Again, she let it go thinking it could happen after the opening, even though it would require taking down a big wall of mirrors that she was about to have installed.

Until, that is, she casually mentioned her situation to a client who told her, “I can paint it this afternoon!!”

You don’t have to figure things out in advance for them to work out.
When you let go, you open to miracles. 

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on October 29, 2010

Ready to let go to have something even better?

If so, contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session at
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to enjoy their lives,
share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Escaping the Quicksand of Fear

January 20, 2020

Fear was my #1 issue during a personal growth session in 1991. It took us two hours to reveal what the particular fear was: everything! It took me years to recognize the insidious ways fear had molded my life since childhood.

Like attracts like. When the vibration of fear precedes actions, the results reflect that energy. What follows is lack; struggle; failure; disappointment; frustration; worry; anxiety; loss of business; financial hardship; and that dreadful fear of the future – “what if” things don’t work out and I face a fate worse than death?

Especially when I felt justified, being afraid was like adding sugar to yeast – “Just look at my circumstances. Anyone in them would feel this way.” Fear multiplied which attracted more things to be afraid about.

Once when my budget was screaming “ouch,” I feared missing a credit card payment. I knew someone this happened to, and her rates skyrocketed. My negative musings caused me unconsciously to pay my bill from an account where I don’t keep money… and I missed my payment.

My preoccupation with my imagined, financial ruin also had me overlook paying my water bill. I opened the top portion of a letter sent to alert me and set it aside thinking it was next month’s bill. Only minutes after coming home from burying my cat who suddenly died and discovering my water had been turned off did I see it was a disconnect notice.

I had the money, but I was so consumed with fearing future disasters that I created them!  As Job said, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”

You may have been pulled into the quicksand of fear. Once you start sliding  down its slippery slope, every frantic breath has you descend into it more deeply.

All my successes occurred when I let go of fear.

What is quicksand, and how does it work?

Quicksand is just a soupy mix of water trapped in ordinary sand that can’t escape, a liquefied soil that can’t support weight. It can occur almost anywhere if the right conditions are present. Contrary to being the frightening, bottomless pit portrayed in the movies, it rarely is deeper than a few feet.

Stepping into quicksand will not swallow you whole or suck you under, but thrashing about will force you deeper into it. The more you struggle, the faster you sink.

Most people who drown in quicksand or in any liquid are those who panic and start flailing their arms and legs. However, it’s easier to break free of it than you may think.

To escape you have to stop fighting. The key is not to panic.

The way out is to relax and make slow movements back to the surface.

Because your body is less dense than the quicksand, your body will float to the surface if you let go of the struggle and relax. In fact, it’s easier to float on quicksand than on water. Once afloat, you can find your way back to safety.

Hmm, so similar to fear – how we drown in it and how we can escape its murky mud.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive  posted on February 26, 2012

Tired of fighting your fears? If so, contact me for a Break-Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way (or just feel better) but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.
I help them be richly compensated by tuning into their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What to Do When You DON’T Know What to Do

January 6, 2020

waterfall- rainbow

I felt like I backed myself into a corner.

I was running out of time to complete writing projects – and my deadline was already extended.

My cat kept me up half the night because she was sick.

I woke up with a debilitating headache because, when I eventually fell asleep, my head was in an awkward position.

I felt miserable.

Not able to focus on my business for a week because of my project.

Exhausted.

Then, it occurred to me that I’m creating this.

I forgot to consciously create my day through intention.

Instead, I focused on how I was going to get everything done.

I wondered about what I was going to do.

How I didn’t feel well.

And my approach wasn’t working. I felt stuck.

Then, I remembered.

I forgot to choose to be in Divine Flow.

When I did, I stopped pushing.

Took a nap.

Ideas came how I could resolve obstacles to complete my projects.

I started to feel better – physically and emotionally.

My feline friend felt better, too.

To explain what I mean by divine flow, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Do What You Love… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

“If you’re struggling or suffering, change your perspective. The struggle may come because you’re trying to control or swim upstream against the current.

“If the going gets tough, maybe you’re going in the wrong direction.

“Life is designed to be in divine flow. If you’re struggling or suffering, you’re going against the flow. Maybe you think you should be acting and thinking a certain way, but that’s actually what’s holding you back and putting you in a flow that’s other than divine. If you are, choose to be in divine flow; continue to choose this.

“Let go of how you think things should be so your focus can shift to the present moment and what is. Allow new perspectives and options to emerge.”

Spoiler alert: Your essential nature is divine, regardless if you feel and have acted like the lowest of lowest. Your essence (and everyone else’s) IS your true nature.

Today’s TIP is simple – for you to implement and for me to share.

Choose to be in divine flow.

It seems to defy logic that this can make it difference.

A few seconds of setting this intention, choosing a belief, sets your day in a positive direction.

You can do this at any time of the day, especially if things start getting wonky.

Observe how your life changes for the better.

You may notice how things change a lot or step-by-step.

Either way, instead of “if it’s not one thing, it’s another,” you shift your trajectory so the track you’re on is “things get better and better.”

Live the life you’re meant to enjoy.

If you have questions or comments, just ask. virginia@soulgoals.com

Reprinted from April 7, 2016 Soulgoals’ Blog Archives

Would you love your life to flow more smoothly in 2020? If so, contact me for a Break-Free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com  

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way (or just feel better) but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

October 28, 2019

stop cop

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results.

Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

“I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.”

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012

If you’d like support
through challenging times,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

October 21, 2019

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.

This is a reprint from July 2010

If you’d like support
to stop judging,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Can’t Figure Out What to Do?

June 4, 2018

boy at crossroad

A 14-year old boy kept repeating to his mom that he didn’t know what to do. She astutely realized that he was too young to be obsessing like this. Taking full responsibility, she told him that this was her issue and not his.

In fact, her mother had the same default pattern, when problems arose, of feeling like she didn’t know what to do, and it was passed on intergenerationally – from mother to daughter to son.

Not knowing what to do was a learned response. They copied their parents’ response when challenged. It wasn’t that they couldn’t know what to do, but these automatic thoughts made them stuck.

I understood because my mother had the same pattern. When a confounding problem arose, she would resort to deer-in-headlights mode, being blinded temporarily. With some quandaries, it became permanent.

Having absorbed this pattern myself (until I was able to notice when it showed up), I would adopt the same mental responses: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. 

The result was feeling stuck, not knowing where to turn.


The ego, the false identity we all have, uses limited techniques. Nonetheless, we often buy into them hook, line and sinker. It will have us question our ability to believe in ourselves by popping in circular thoughts like “what am I going to do. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve got to figure it out.”

If we haven’t had a particular experience before, there’s no reason why we should know what to do. However, the ego will have us beat ourselves up, sometimes mercilessly, leading us to believe there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out what to do.


The ego is a computer that only knows what it’s been programmed to do. For example, if a computer hasn’t been programmed for the Swahili language, it’s impossible for it to communicate in Swahili. Nor would we expect that it should.

However, we can get very upset with ourselves for not knowing the answer to something with which we’ve had no experience.

There is a way out! Our inner essence, the wise part within, has access to unlimited intelligence. By asking our inner wisdom, we can find answers.

Once I had a stressful situation where I noticed that I silently was repeating in circles: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?

I recognized that there’s a part of me that absolutely had no clue to a solution. None.

Instead, I asked a part of me that knows. What can I do?

Off I left for an appointment. While walking back to my car after my meeting, an idea came to me. It was a simple solution that only required me to drive somewhere to address the situation in person. Problem solved.

Don’t bother getting upset with yourself when you feel stuck. That would be falling for the ego’s tricks. Skip feeling miserable.

Instead, ask the part of you that has wisdom and can access answers beyond your wildest imagination. 

Your answers are within.

 
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 

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