Archive for August, 2021

Exhausted? Losing Your Power?

August 30, 2021

Soulgoal Missive, Year 2, No.1, originally puclished in 2002


I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power – specifically, the power to control them.

CAROLYN MYSS, Anatomy of the Spirit


I still felt exhausted and light-headed three months, $1000, and seven practitioners later. Adrenal burnout created chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t get a handle on it.  The healing work brought an underlying physical strength but not enough to impact my daily life. The only business I could manage was what was absolutely necessary.

One weekend my energy and head cleared. I was enthusiastic until I met with a client on Monday, and my thinking relapsed into a heavy fog. I had enough and drew the line as I realized this wasn’t about my health. 

I decided it was time to get to the underlying cause.

A friend suggested I was in a transformational process that could create a breakthrough. She told me about a book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, which is about health and energy.  I had so little of either it seemed a logical place to look, even though I didn’t see how it would help.

If we don’t recognize that our source of energy comes from within, we look outside ourselves to find it. That could be a person (as found in co-dependent relationships or even someone we respect), a business or organization (when we think our source of money or salvation can only come from an outside source), a substance (such as alcohol, drugs, coffee, or cigarettes), or belief systems (ideas we believe to be true).

Instead of trusting a divine source or ourselves, we believe something outside of us is stronger. By doing so, we give away our power and allow it to control us.

I sat at the computer and wrote what I felt: “Where am I plugging in my energy circuits?Emotionally to something outside myself. Not a person or an idea, but a belief.” 

The answer popped out. To be more visible in my business and speak my truth, people might not like what I have to say. Society would then ostracize me, and I was afraid to have that happen.

In that moment of discovery, the left side of my head instantly cleared!

Recognizing this was the right track, I knew if I opened the book to any page it would give me the insight that I needed to clear the other side of my head.

The light bulb moment began with the thought, “On the right side, I’m short-circuited with fear.”

I realized that in the back of my mind I thought I would never accomplish a deeply cherished goal. This belief froze me into inaction through fear and disappointment. 

“I’m not acknowledging all is in divine order. My will is motivated by fear and a lack of control.  I need to connect my head and heart and allow Thy will not my will be done.”

Poof! Like magic, the right side of my head cleared. Reignited by this new awareness, my energy and clear-headedness returned and didn’t leave.

How could these beliefs affect my body and mind with such devastating results?

If you saw a friend about to cut her wrists or jump off a bridge, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to sabotage her efforts?

Unbeknownst to me, I held a fearful belief of being disapproved of – I was unconsciously imagining the worst about what would happen if people didn’t like what I had to say.

That belief affected me emotionally by doing all it could to prevent me from what it perceived a certain death, death to my ego and the pain it created. That belief, created as a child, did what it thought was protecting me and keeping me safe.

It didn’t matter if the belief was true; unconsciously I believed it and acted as if it was real.

If I felt too exhausted to work, I’d be safe because I wouldn’t be able to share my viewpoints. I wouldn’t be visible for people to disapprove of me and experience some harmful fate.

I know this can sound convoluted and weird, but many of our limiting beliefs were created when we were kids using limited logic. Read on to see what I mean.

Exhaustion comes from emotions.

We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.

Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of associating with certain people or situations. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit something needs to change.

We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.

A woman once told me about her unfulfilling relationship with her father.  As a little girl she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.

Now in her twenties, she no longer hits her head. Instead she gets migraines. Althoughpainful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.

People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, constant busyness, or hellish, military training rather than look at the pain and frustration they feel about their parents or past, negative experiences. It’s often easier to focus on the body and its needs while flying under one’s emotional radar.

We can identify with pain, illness, or exhaustion, even turning it into a badge of courage. This seems easier than facing what lies beneath the surface, as the survival of the pain depends on remaining unconscious.

Our shadow self is afraid to allow the light of awareness to be shined on it. The dark side wants to remain hidden so it won’t be found out, fearing a fate worse than death.

As long as we continue to unconsciously identify with the pain rather than look at it and let it go, it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.

The situations change but the underlying feelings of fear, pain or fill-in-the-blank emotion are close to the same way we felt during the original affront.

Our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy. That’s why it continues to draw to us similar situations (even if they suck) so we can wake up and be free.

The reason we are afraid of it so much is that we created this fearful part as a child. These emotions feel natural and familiar tinged with a childlike dread that we’ve learned to suppress and live with over the years.

Imagine a helpless youngster dealing with a challenging, life situation. Obviously, coping and life skills are limited. Fear takes over. If we haven’t resolved these childhood impressions, they can continue to haunt us until we gain perspective and release their energy.

If we avoid releasing that unsupportive energy, we look for our power elsewhere while feeling inadequate to manage on our own. We settle for jobs, relationships, and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.

Do you feel exhausted? Covid getting you down? Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?

A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes asking for help to perceive the blind spots and see. 



Ready to identify and let go of limiting beliefs
and feelings that hold you back?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Are NOT Your Thoughts… and yes, you are good enough

August 23, 2021
You can open the window to your thoughts, and think outside YOUR box.

Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 15, originally published in 2001

It was my first singing class. After performing my rendition of a song, my voice coach didn’t comment on my presentation but simply suggested that I approach it using different emotions. Although it was a reasonable request, a sinking feeling came over me and began to take me down with it.

I got through the evening but went home devastated as anguish overtook me far beyond what happened in the class. Three days later I still felt this sickening feeling within and knew that it was totally out of proportion from the event.

Then it hit me.

My (unconscious) interpretation of the comment triggered a belief that when I’m myself, I’m not good enough.

“Why can’t you be more like your cousins Kathy and Sharon?” was one of my mother’s mantras I grew up with — to be good enough I had to be like someone else.

My feelings turned from sadness to freedom as the light shined on this hidden side of me.

The casual remark served as an alarm clock to wake up an old pain after years of sleep. Unconsciously, it directed my actions and responses causing me to feel “I’m not good enough” although there was nothing in the present moment to validate it. After discovering the truth, my life changed.

I hadn’t seen one of my cousins for 18 years, even though she lives just a few hours from me. Yet two weeks after my discovery, I found myself visiting my aunt and her daughter.

Within minutes of our time together, I shared my story with her, and she replied, “Why would you ever want to be like us? The insinuation in our home was that you were special, and we wanted to be like you!”

How often do we create a false sense of reality accompanied by unnecessary limitations and anxiety?

There are so many reasons to experience fear these days, but how many of them are based on reality?

Fear arises from an obscure feeling that something will happen to us in the future that we won’t be able to handle. Then we attach a significance and interpretation that create pain.

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.


“You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future.”

Eckhart Tolle,
Power of Now


What’s the antidote? Get free from allowing your thoughts to rule and instead be the master of what you think and feel.

How do we reclaim our dominion? Focus on the Now instead of some imagined future.

Truly be present and live in this moment in time. This means not obsessing over what happened in the past and not projecting in the future some theorized threat. We learn from the past and plan for the future. We are best equipped to deal with life situations when we are fully present.

Life is what it is. “Resistance is futile” and creates more pain.


We always have the ability to deal with whatever hand we are dealt, although as Mother Teresa said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  


Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to disidentify with your thoughts, as if they are you and always the truth.  Instead, be the observer of them. Experiment with the following exercise entitled “You Are NOT Your Thoughts.”

  1. Do you imagine that your future will be better or worse than it is now?
  2. Observe yourself focusing your attention into the future. Now shift your attention back to reading in this moment. Notice your ability to shift consciously between the future and present.
  3. The part of you that observes this shift is the real you. You can detach from your identification with your thinking at any moment by going into the observer state – the real you is doing the watching. You experience the real you only in the present moment.
  4. Whenever fear, anxiety, or other such emotion arises, switch to being the watcher of your thoughts and feelings. Even if you still feel trapped by them or feel stuck, you are on your road to freedom, gaining greater self-mastery with every step.

Observation of your thoughts breaks identification with them. You take control of your life instead of being led by fear and limitation. It’s a powerful tool.

With a zest for Life,

Virginia


Success Thought

“Getting there is half the fun; being there is all of it!”

Chauncey Gardner, in the movie Being There


Ready for more freedom?

You are more than enough!


Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Ascend to YOUR Heights

August 16, 2021

Originally published in 2001, Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 16 

And the most difficult of tasks to keep
Heights which the soul is competent to gain

William Wordsworth (1770 – 1850)
The Excursion, Book IV 

Five minutes ago, after years of searching, I rediscovered this quote that has captured my imagination for decades.

The most challenging of all tasks before us, a predestined appointment to keep, is to ascend to the heights we are fully capable of attaining.

One part of us knows what we can achieve. We feel it in our bones. If we allow ourselves to turn our attention to our magnificent potential and act on its magnitude, we can accomplish what our hearts prompt us to do.

Another aspect of us – the part that’s been beaten up over the years and loses vision and hope – questions, downplays, and ridicules what we really want. In fact, we often can’t admit how much we want it. This is a safety net we created to protect ourselves from failure.

The thinking goes, if I keep my precious dream tucked away at least I know where it is, and it’s safe. I can cherish it as my image of the Holy Grail, hidden from harm’s way.

If I actually look for it and fail, I’ll be crushed. If my most sacred dream is ruined, what’s the use of doing anything? No, better play it safe and avoid the possibility of pain. Besides, who do you think you’re kidding even to try to go after what you want?

However, that first part knows better and feels cheated from the fullness of life.

Paul J. Meyer told this story several years ago. Can you imagine offering an ice cream cone to a small child, and just as that child reaches for it you smash it to the ground? Of course not.

Neither would your Creator present you with an idea unless you have the ability to do something about it.

If an idea came to you, and keeps coming and coming and coming, you have the ability to ascend to the heights of your vision, or the idea would be gone already.

Even if others are doing something similar, nobody can fulfill your vision like you. No two people are alike.


“A climber’s day always starts at the crux: getting out of bed.”

Guillaume Dargaud


An episode of Xena, Warrior Princess, showed an image of her in a future life as a great Peacemaker and Negotiator – a task Xena wanted. However, she wouldn’t be able to have that life unless she fully lived this one as a warrior. The concept is to fully live the life in front of us, learn the lessons, and take action however we can. Then we move forward to something that may interest us even more.

Where do you start to accomplish your most magnificent task? Exactly where you are.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to take steps to ascend to your heights.

  • Have a vision of what you choose. If you haven’t allowed your nearest and dearest one to surface, choose something that’s right in front of you. Your next step is ALWAYS around you. Bigger next steps come after you take your immediate ones.
  • Pick something to do, even if it’s one small action within your vision or goal.
  • Narrow your focus. Don’t scatter your energy by trying to do many things or too much of the big picture at one time.
  • Get busy; do something.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia    


Success Thought

“One cannot climb at all unless he has sufficient urge to do so. Danger must be met (indeed it must be used) to an extent beyond that incurred to normal life. That is one reason men climb; for only in response to challenge does one man become his best.”

Ax Nelson


If you’d like help 
to ascend to your heights,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.


15 Ways to Be a Person of Value

August 9, 2021

This Soulgoal Missive was sent to my mailing list in September 2002.


“Try not to become a person of success, but a person of value.”

Albert Einstein


What makes someone great in your eyes? Footprints are etched on the sand of time through action. Preceding this comes a person of value.

We are works in progress. Step by step our lives become more real and meaningful. As we live our truth, we provide greater service to others. As Jesus said, “He that will be great among you let him serve.”

Being great is not just about what we do; it’s who we are and the choices we make. Following are some that are important to me. Few live all of them fully at any one time. They are wonderful to aspire to if we choose and when the timing is right. 

  1. Live authentically. Ring like a whole bell (ring true) vs. a cracked bell (looks like it should ring purely, but if you really listen, it’s off). Do not live an act because of a title or a role played in society or home or work or church. Be yourself. Follow the drumbeat of life you hear. 
  2. Follow your heart’s desire in everyday life. Everyday do something you love to do. Do what you were born to do, your mission, your calling – regardless how small the action. Live your dharma.


“To live is so startling that it leaves little time for anything else.”
 
Emily Dickinson


3. Courageously face and release core emotional baggage so you can live a life with freedom and maturity. Unmask and be true to your emotions and feelings, for keys to YOUR truth lie here. You are having a human experience: emotions and feelings are part of this and tools to discover who you are, what you are doing here, and how you are to serve.

4. Be a friend to yourself and others. Hold space for others to be and discover themselves and grow. Be non-judgmental and detached, yet present, caring, and supportive for others’ and your own life processes.

5. Be willing to explore intimacy with yourself, others, and the world rather than avoid relationships or just share the same space. Our greatest challenges and rewards come from relationship with others.

6. Keep your mind open, flexible, deep, and growing. Be an outside-the-box thinker. Allow new ideas to be possible so your life can grow.

7. Be financially mature and stable. Monetary difficulties may be caused from having an eight-year old make your financial decisions. The significance of addressing this issue means you have come to peace with some child part of yourself as well as claiming your place in the world.

8. Be spiritually awake and grow in YOUR truth, not a dogma you’re taught or what others have said about you. YOU matter because you value you. It doesn’t matter what others think. Ask yourself what you really know that’s true and positive; live your answer fully. Take time regularly to commune with the Highest aspect of Life.


Lives of great men all remind us
We can make our lives sublime,
And, departing, leave behind us
Footprints on the sand of time.
 
Longfellow


9. Know how to have fun, and take time to enjoy yourself. Humor and enjoyment are keys to life.

10. Practice physical health awareness and take care of your body. Adopt a youthful attitude toward your mind and body, regardless of your age or health; be young at heart. Respect and treat yourself well.

11. Live a balanced life. Too much work or play or any one thing creates a weak foundation. You may keep your balance for a while, but eventually your life may start to fall apart.

12. Live in the present moment. Now is all that exists. To live regretting the past or worrying about the future creates needless fear and stress. Yesterday and tomorrow are simply another Now. Now is the only moment to live, heal, and create the life you choose. Use time wisely rather than be controlled by it.

13. Say Yes to life in all its forms. Acknowledge you and others have a physical body in a third dimensional world that has joys and sorrows, pain and happiness, good and bad. Embrace it all. Each is an aspect of the bigger picture. Be sure to include the beauty.

14. Live life to its fullest. Don’t shy away from living. Have the courage to be who you are and enjoy life. Live passionately and creatively. Do your best.

15. Be love. Live with a grateful heart.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to choose three areas you’d like to focus on for the remainer of the year. Write them somewhere special, and review them periodically as a reminder.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia   

If you’d like help to change
the way you see yourself,

contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What to Do When You’re at a Turning Point

August 2, 2021

 This Soulgoal Missive was sent to my mailing list in 2002.


Keep your eyes and ears wide open – and your mouth closed, if you wish to acquire the habit of prompt decision.
 
Napoleon Hill,
Think and Grow Rich


I invited my girlfriend on a company trip I won. Having a choice of select resorts, I chose to be on a ten-ton houseboat on the Colorado River at the Nevada-Arizona border. We were fortunate that the boat malfunctioned immediately after departure, so we traded it in for a five-ton model.

Neither of us knew anything about boating, including how to read a mariner’s map.  All the squiggly lines representing the shoreline looked the same, so the map was no help. 

To share how inexperienced we were, our boat floated away because we didn’t anchor it properly while visiting Hoover Dam. Someone caught and secured it in our absence. Our fun and memorable trip was filled with adventures like this.

While steering the boat, I watched aghast as I headed for a solid mass of land straight ahead.  I had to change direction quickly, but I couldn’t tell if the river turned to the right or left because the view was obscured.

The boat was big and heavy. I felt if I didn’t make my decision quickly, I never would have enough time to change course and would surely run into land.

Which way to go? It looked like the river turned left so I turned the boat in that direction. I was wrong; it was just a tiny inlet. If I thought I barely had time to turn the boat before, surely I would crash now. I quickly turned the wheel to go in the other direction… and had plenty of time to make the adjustment.

Over many years I’ve observed if I relax and trust this process, while prepared to act quickly if needed when the appropriate time comes, I make better decisions – without the panic and worry. I learned that if I am alert and in the moment, I have all the time I need to make a decision when the information comes.


Those who reach decisions promptly and definitely, know what they want, and generally get it.
 
Napoleon Hill,
Think and Grow Rich


Another incident occurred during my first television interview in my early twenties with a man seasoned in appearing on the media. He told me later that before speaking he always felt his inner juices begin to flow, but he didn’t feel them before that show.

However, as soon as I began to answer the commentator’s first question, his energy started to flow. Without this initial incentive to speak and knowing his experience, I probably would have let him do the talking, and he could have taken over the show. 

I learnedwhen the time comes, we have what it takes to do what we have to do. The brain may want to be comforted that everything follows an order it thinks it should. However, the flow is there when we need it, not when we think we need it.

We were prepared to speak; after that it was a matter of trusting the process.

A third lesson came while on a road trip with a friend. We came to a fork in the road, a turning point. Rather than stop to determine where we needed to go, he arbitrarily chose a direction and proceeded to go the wrong way at 60 miles an hour. It took a while to escape the highway maze, return to where we started, and get on the right track.

I learned if I come to a fork in the road and don’t know where I’m going, stop and assess my options rather than blindly waste my time on a 50-50 guess.

Decisions. If we’re not attached to the way we want things to go or the way we think they should go, answers come in their own way and in their own time, especially when we are prepared and ready to act.

Lessons I learned:

  1. You have all the time you need to make an appropriate decision when you have the information.
  2. There is a flow to making decisions. When the timing is right the flow is there, and sometimes not a minute sooner.
  3. Be prepared to act quickly when the information comes.
  4. Rather than guessing, check your map or plan to see where you’re going. Take necessary steps to prepare.
  5. Relax and trust the process.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to consider a decision you would like to make. Apply the above points to strategize how to make it and then relax with the process KNOWING that you will make the right decision at the right time.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia   


Success Thought

When he approached a fork in the road, Robert Frost in his poem “The Road Not Taken” wrotethathe “looked down one as far as he could.”  Facing his decision of which way to go, he said:

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”



If you’d like help with decisions to move forward,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.