Archive for the ‘Fear and anxiety’ Category

Not enough time? This story may help you.

July 25, 2017

“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.

On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.

There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.

Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.

Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.

After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.

As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.

Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.

Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

How he set himself up for stress

While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.

Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.

Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.

His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?

After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:

“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low.  Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”

As an adult, stress still garnered him attention.  Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.

One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.

In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.

An alternative

Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.

At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.

A co-worker just happened to call.

When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.

Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:

  • Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
  • Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
  • By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
  • In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.

If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off? 

Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.

Start releasing patterns through awareness 

  • Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
  • Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
  • Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
  • Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
  • Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”

When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.

What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

I Confess. I Didn’t Know How to Handle This… Until Now.

June 12, 2017

Arguing earthworms

An acclaimed author and speaker sat across the aisle from me during a shuttle bus ride to a conference.

She was recognized by the woman sitting behind her who started a conversation between the two of them.

Just as the ride ended, with a sweet smile and feigned good intentions that she probably believed were innocent and necessary to express, she trashed the famous person with subtle (not really subtle) advice/put downs.

As an observer, I watched the powerful woman’s face drop as she didn’t know what hit her. While disembarking from the bus, I quietly told her that she didn’t do what the accuser claimed, and the other woman was making stuff up.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­


After meditating about me and out of so-called concern, a woman decided to list extensively my shortcomings since the beginning of our friendship. She had a pattern of telling me these every couple of years for fifteen years. Adding insult to injury, her skewed perspective caused her opinions to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Her last sharing was her final one with me.


Can you recall interactions that left you wondering whaa – what just happened?

Or maybe you’ve claimed the title of tell-it-like-you-think-others-should-be-or-should-know-about-themselves.

I confess. In the past, handling crazy-makers like these often left me clumsily dumbfounded and reactive. Maybe a month or a year later, I’d think of a clever yet still unsatisfactory response.

Recently during a session with one of my teachers, the sky opened and fairy dust of understanding gently rained upon me.

I’m sharing my pixie enlightenment about some reasons why others use manipulative behaviors that blind-side and what to do about it.

Also, a heads up if this is your M.O. You may choose to stop it. As Dale Carnegie wrote, the pay off is that you’ll win friends, influence more people and feel authentically better about yourself.

THE WHY:

When people are afraid, they look to fight anybody. They will attack a strong person. (You might be perceived as strong by others, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself).

The underlying, usually unconscious thinking of pointing out faults of a strong person is this: I’m insecure. Let’s see if I can take you down to my level.

It’s someone else’s fault, and they’re going to point it out. “Others” are doing something wrong.

Those who use passive-aggressive behavior look for weak parts and take aim at those frailties. 

  1. It can create self-doubt in the other person and throw them off-balance.
  2. It can invert the strong person’s attention onto themselves and away from the aggressor’s shortcomings.

However, the problem actually rests within them. They don’t want to work on their own issues, so they blame others. Again, the focus is on others and their faults so the perpetrators don’t have to look at themselves.

It reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle said regarding people who complain about others, including other drivers.  Disapproval of others makes their ego feel “morally superior,” even to strangers driving in cars.

Passive-aggressiveness is a self-esteem boosting technique born out of feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. It’s one way to get attention and have people listen, which they might not have experienced in their past. 

In short, one way passive-aggressiveness works is to criticize how others are wrong in order to feel better about themselves, enhance superiority or get something they want. 

WHAT TO DO:

Don’t agree or argue with them. Tell them, “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree.”

They want you to defend yourself or argue. If you don’t, they look like an idiot.

Eventually, they’ll stop trying to attack because you offer no resistance. Their attempts to get you to provide fuel to fill up their tank of self-esteem isn’t working (instead of finding it within themselves).

Also, they can’t understand you if you talk with them logically when they’re seeing things emotionally. You’re both on different wavelengths. You can’t hear an FM station when you’re tuned into AM.

People blaming “the others,” be it personally, politically, in business or otherwise, is a scapegoat from looking at their own issues.

Does any of this fairy dust bring clarity to you, your business or work?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.

Not Good Enough in La La Land

February 6, 2017

dream-bigger

Do you know the #1 issue for everyone on the planet?

It even showed up in the #1 nominated movie La La Land when a main character lost all confidence before going for the BIG dream – exhausted from trying, past rejections and feeling positive it wouldn’t work.

At some point, it’s had a starring role in your life, too.

It’s what prevents you from believing in yourself.

It’s hounded you to despair and disappointment creating doubt, anger, fear, lack, anxiety and every limitation.

No, you’re not the only one who thinks other people’s lives are better and, after objective and/or emotional comparison, you reached the conclusion there’s something’s wrong with you.

This is the #1 issue.

You feel you’re not good enough, and you have living proof because (fill in the blank of how you feel you and your life are messed up).

“Not good enough” is only a program in your head that was put there a while ago – when you were a little kid.

This is NOT you.

It’s just a program, and it can be changed!

What does it look like when your software program produces this error message?

Here are some ways people have tried to bolster their spirits to find peace, feel good and create success. You’ve probably used some of these well-worn strategies, too, only to find you’re basically in the same place you started.

Do any of these fixes sound familiar?

  • Trying to control situations or others and getting upset or anxious when it doesn’t work. Trying to control means you feel out of control. You can feel frustrated if things don’t go the way you think they should. After a while, you can give up and might go into depression because this fix has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
  • Wanting others’ approval by people pleasing; looking for self-worth by rescuing others; holding yourself back because of what others might think; or stuffing your emotions and desires. Dream big? Forget it. Too risky.
  • Feeling insecure because you don’t have enough love, money, health, respect, direction, time, contacts, etc. Playing it safe seems like a good reason to hold yourself back, but you can end up unfulfilled where even you get bored with yourself.
  • Feeling bad about you, what you’ve accomplished, what you’re doing and your future prospects. Oh, what’s the use of trying. Bingo – you’re chasing your tail and going nowhere.
  • Playing the victim so others feel sorry for you even though you sincerely express you don’t want them to and you’re not a victim… but silently craving that someone will make all your problems go away.

What’s a key to break free?

Breaking free is an inside job. Nobody can save you but you. Begin by changing your perspective.

You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Shift your focus to what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Instead of the agonizing feeling of wanting what you don’t have, recognize the feelings of love, safety and fulfillment you long for are already within you.

You can’t move a car forward and backwards at the same time without spinning in circles.

Likewise, you can’t have and want at the same time.

When you shift your focus to what you have, you’ll discover you are more than enough.

When your energy aligns with this feeling, you can write your ticket to success.

Shift happens!

Feeling you’re not enough is simply a habit.

To help you shift gears, write daily 10-15 things you’re grateful for.

Shifting takes practice, but you’re more than capable of changing your perspective.

Invest a few minutes daily to focus on how things are working out for you.  

Size doesn’t matter – got out of bed, conquered fear of calling a client, landed a promotion. Any acknowledgement will help you change your habit so you feel better about you as you rewrite the trash talk that goes on in your head.

Change your energy, change your life.

Bring on your dreams, and dream BIGGER!

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: What Were You Thinking and How It Affects You Now

December 5, 2016
 guy-on-bench
A woman I’ve known for decades, who used to be very involved with a spiritual practice, has been sending toxic emails.

She doesn’t check information to see if it’s true. Or they’re about disgruntled people who are challenged with a world that changed. Or she’ll take a positive message and skew it to be negative. And, I suppose, there are some valuable ideas, but to find them means wading through venom.

I replied to one of her emails that this is a season of unconditional love, and a way to it is being non-judgmental.

She answered, “Judgmental, unconditional love, spiritual beliefs… I definitely don’t fall under the PC situation… I have to keep it real for me, my truth. It may ruffle some people’s feathers but that’s what this world is for, experiences and finding out what we need to find out.”

Bah humbug. The spirit of Christmas is now just another way of being politically correct.

Gee, and here I thought that, underneath it all, the world is for Love.

How does her worldview affect her?

In other emails, she shared that she can get depressed.

Yet, she feels compelled that others see life through her passionate yet angry rants – under the guise of keeping it real and telling her truth.

In the past, I would listen endlessly to people’s sad stories and emotionally charged viewpoints.  I thought I was helping by holding space for them to share and be heard.

I’ve since learned that an extended focus on what doesn’t work is a disservice and adds fuel to a perspective that caused them distress. It only helps them to pick up momentum toward what they don’t like, which affects their health, finances, relationships or happiness.

This includes not validating sob stories I might conjure up about what I don’t like in my life or what’s not working the way I think it should.

If gently redirecting the conversation doesn’t work, I do what I can to exit with grace and ease.

My clients learn how to notice resistance and shift it, too.

To live with good feeling mojo is a simple concept. Feel good.

The more you think and feel good, the better your life becomes… your dreams magically start coming true. 

This weekend, I had the privilege of being invited on a trip to enjoy rock art (pictographs the ancients painted on cave walls).

Although we were rained out from that part of our trip, we enjoyed a wonderful walk, a night in a cabin perched above the lower Pecos River plus a day in Mexico.

I listened to stories of how the rock art and area in and around Seminole Canyon State Park in south Texas transformed my friend after a personal family tragedy.

Since then, not only is she deeply passionate about rock art, she breathes a respect and reverence for life.

As a result, she’s created a loving life in alignment with her values and goals.

Your TIP is to observe your thinking and notice how it’s affecting you.

I’ll give you a BIG hint.

If there are parts of your life and business you don’t like as well as how it’s affecting you, observe what you’re thinking and feeling.

I know it can seem crazy, that forces beyond your control are the real culprit, but your energy is at the core. Like energy attracts like energy. Only you choose your perspective.

The good news is that wherever you are and for however long it took you to get here, regardless of how hopeless or frustrating aspects of your life, finances, business, relationships or health may seem at times, you can change it.

Look for what brings you joy instead of addictively focusing on anxiety, pain, suffering, who done you wrong or who’s doing something wrong.

This includes what feels unchangeable, like actor Michael J. Fox who went from having “everything” to having Parkinson’s.

He turned it around from the worse experience to the best wake up call. It changed his life for the better.

P.T. Barnum went bankrupt and didn’t enter the circus business until age 60.There goes the “I’m too old” argument of limitation.

By 1983, the millions made by boxer, heavyweight champion and Olympic gold medalist George Foreman were almost gone. He turned it around. In 2014, Foreman topped The Richest list of top athlete entrepreneurs of all time.

What isn’t working for you?

You can realign your thinking and feeling so your biggest challenge becomes your biggest asset.

You’ll feel happier, too.

By the way, I just returned from a Christmas concert. At the end, the chorus formed a circle around the entire audience and sang, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” It’s quite a concept, especially during the holiday season.

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Miracles Happen – In Your Life, Too!

November 23, 2016

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“Miracles can happen always.”

That’s what a nine-year-old said after he ran to catch his nearly 30# baby brother who fell more than four feet from a changing table.

Joseph thought he was aided by divine intervention.

“I would have never caught him, and I can’t run that fast. So I felt like something came and just pushed me forward, and when that happened, I just ran and caught him.”

The moments-long miracle was caught on their security camera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spWDYJSXRs

The mother, who turned away only briefly, changed her perspective from what she did wrong to what she did right.

“I was just getting everyone ready for bed. I was home alone with the five kids, and at first I said, ‘I messed up. I did something wrong.’ But then I realized that, really, it was a miracle. I must have done something right to have been deserving of this little guy, running in at the right time and catching him at the right moment.”

Lesson 5 of my Resolved for Results program says this about miracles:

What is a miracle? A miracle is a positive outcome that you didn’t anticipate. It’s when you have no idea how things can work out, and then they do. It’s when results defy logic, and the impossible occurs. It’s when you’re touched by grace.

Miracles compel you to expand your consciousness and go beyond what you think is possible. They are reminders to trust in a friendly and supportive universe that assists you to create your life of choice.

Miracles come in all sizes.

A client and her daughter had ongoing conflicts between themselves.

While coaching, she realized that the fear and judgment she had about her daughter was alienating her.

In the past, she was more of the disciplinarian because she thought that was the best parenting style.

Now, she changed her perspective and approach.

She had an idea to text each of her two adult children separately and tell them how much she appreciates them as well as note their wonderful qualities.

“I love you. You are great. I’m grateful you’re alive…”

She realized that almost all of her fear about “what if” certain things happened to her children weren’t based on anything other than the negativity and drama in her head.

She also gave consideration to her reply when people ask, “How are you?”

Instead of good or fine, automatic responses that people mindlessly give as well as the way they robotically feel about themselves, she decided to say, “I am grateful.”

To change her lifelong habit of how she had been relating to her children, and to feel their positive responses, is a miracle.

We discussed a goal to highlight her intentions.

She doesn’t cook, and throughout her life she was a perfectionist who got anxious if things didn’t go just right.

Yet she longed to have a family dinner.

So we came up with a way for her to create one.

This morning, I received her email.

“I want to let you know that we had a great time last Friday. (She described the food everyone made.) It was a very festive dinner, and I didn’t even get uptight!

“Thank you for guiding me. I am breathing in divine flow and let out judgements and fears to get myself back on track.”

Your TIP, is to open to miracles happening in your life.

Imagine the iconic statue that overlooks Rio de Janeiro, the one found in the above photo, as representing an idea, regardless of your religion.

This omnipotent, omniscient, unconditionally loving and divine presence is watching out for you 24/7.

To experience miracles is to be willing to let go of your problems and worries and allow  yourself to receive something better.

Watch for the miracles in your life. They may be big or small.

Nothing is impossible.

You can receive what you choose or something better.

Happy, Miracle-full Thanksgiving. Happy giving thanks!

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Overcome Fear Like an Olympian

August 16, 2016
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We’ve been wowed by dreams coming true for Olympian glory. Just ask David Boudia from Abilene, Texas, who won the gold for diving in 2012.

Last week, he interviewed with an Indianapolis Star reporter and shared insights about what “separates your cream of the crop Olympians to the ones who don’t make it as far.”

The difference, he said, is understanding and respecting fear.

Initially, anyone would be terrified of diving head first into the water, and Boudia was no exception as a kid.

“I worked hard mentally to approach it so I was able to control my thoughts a little better. To be able to understand how to visualize it and see it in my head.”

He drew stick figures to be able to see his success and overcome his fears.

Let’s consider one way that fear affects the brain.

The striatum is a part of your brain that works like muscle memory. It operates on autopilot – an emotional and mental default program that reacts the same way over and over again.

For example:

Do you have a tendency to respond repeatedly to situations with anger and frustration or by seeing the silver lining?

Is the glass half empty or half full?

Do you think what if things don’t work out or what if they do?

Is fear something to be avoided at all cost or befriended?

Your responses comprise some of your automatic programs.

According to Dr. Sanjay Gupta, athletes train their amygdala, the memory center of the brain, to make the connection of stress with success, and they don’t even consider failure.

The amygdala is the integrative center for emotions, emotional behavior, and motivation.

To be richly compensated doing what you love involves creating a vortex of energy where you are a magnet of success.

Connecting the dots, when you’ve trained your brain and emotions for success, you attract it.

Masterminders meet to focus attention on their goals as they align with a field of mastermind energy that can and does manifest goals they choose or something better.

This fun and consistent practice creates a perspective of success which becomes muscle memory for the brain.

The mastermind experience of seeing and feeling success rewires the brain to attract miracles and successes.

Mastermind energy aligns you in a zone where everything works out for you, regardless of how it appears.

It’s like someone falling in a mud puddle and finding a $100 bill.

Masterminding is brain training that puts the kibosh on limiting beliefs butting in about why you can’t do what you love and make your dreams come true.

Napoleon Hill, author of the classic Think and Grow Rich, describes the mastermind.

When two or more people coordinate in a spirit of HARMONY, and work toward a definite objective, they place themselves in position, through that alliance, to absorb power directly from the great universal storehouse of Infinite Intelligence. This is the greatest of all sources of POWER. It is the source to which the genius turns. It is the source to which every great leader turns, (whether he may be conscious of the fact or not).

It’s with our great enthusiasm and caring for others to be free, have fun and live fruitful lives that our masterminders will meet on Sunday afternoon, August 28, to share tips and stories for you to see and feel how your dreams can come true.

More details about Free, Fun & Fruitful are included after the TIP.

Your TIP is to know that you deserve a life of inner and outer freedom where you look forward with happy anticipation of another wonderful day.

You deserve not to worry and be free of fear, which is simply a learned response.

How do I know this? Everyone deserves it, and that includes YOU!

As you wake up, begin by looking for the goodness in your life.

Choose to break any habit you may have of looking for yesterday’s problems to start your day and regurgitating them into the present.

Recognize any challenges you have, but put fear in perspective.

In doing this, you’ll attract Olympic gold in YOUR life.

To fortify your best intentions, join us on Sunday, August 28th for Free, Fun and Fruitful.

You’re invited to Free, Fun & Fruitful An Energy Boost for Your Success

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28, 2016

FOOD AND FRIENDSHIP: 3 – 3:45 PM PRESENTATION: 3:45 – 6 PM

LOCATION: A beautiful home in Lewis Mountain Estates off 1826 in SW Austin, TX

WHO’S INVITED: Business associates, friends and family who are open to feeling good and elevating their success

TO REGISTER, SEND ME AN EMAIL TO vg@ResolvedForResults.com  AND SAY “YES.  I’LL BE THERE!”

INVESTMENT: IT’S FREE!

You’ll experience what it feels like to be free, have fun and be fruitful way beyond your time invested in attending.

FRUITFUL: producing good results; beneficial; profitable; producing an abundant growth

To get the results you choose, you must be on a bandwidth of energy to receive and be the shining star you are.

Join us as you raise your ceiling of infinite possibilities and learn from pros how they did it.

Feel what it’s like to know that you’re not alone and someone’s got your back.

Rub shoulders with everyday people having outstanding results.

A partial list of speakers include:

  • LB Thomas, the Big Cheese at LBTJ Ad Agency; a founder and President of TWIB (Texas Women in Business); Austin Business Journal Top 25 Woman of Influence
  • Carol Warkoczewski, City Architect of City of San Antonio, TX; founder of I-LinCP
  • Mark Hairston, Mortgage Loan Officer
  • Lisa Bargsley, Certified de Bono Trainer of Six Thinking Hats; Sage Speaking
  • Michele Viera, Mortgage Specialist

Attend Free, Fun & Fruitful to discover how you can launch your success to receive results beyond your wildest imagination.

This is for you if:

  • you long to share your business or gifts with the world in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
  • you choose to be in the Now, ignite your Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what you love.
  • you’d like to revel in good feeling mojo with wonderful people
  • you’re a seasoned masterminder who’d like to plug into the mastermind energy and connect with your mastermind community.

TO REGISTER, SEND ME AN EMAIL AND SAY “YES.  I’LL BE THERE!”

vg@ResolvedForResults.com

I’m confident that if you’re open to receive, you’ll discover keys to greater success.

Seating is limited.

If you’re getting a nudge to go, I highly encourage you to register for free now.

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.
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TIP: My Trip on National Day of the Cowboy

July 25, 2016
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National Day of the Cowboy was on July 23rd, and The Briscoe Western Art Museum in San Antonio, Texas, celebrated. As I’ve been watching old westerns on YouTube, I thought I’d check it out.

Among the many paintings, exhibits and artifacts, there was a Wells Fargo stage coach. People traveled in dust, cold and heat with the possibility of being stopped by Indians, robbers or a broken wheel.

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A chuck wagon on display brought images to mind about the trek of the pioneers as they traveled west in their wagons. Why did they do it?

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Then I heard at an audio exhibit: a reason people came west was to change their concept of themselves. 

Think self-concept such as being a city folk versus the imagination of going west.

It was one way to leave behind how they saw themselves and their lives.

And this brought me back to Soulgoals.

A former masterminder and influential professional planned to launch a new career. She said that she knew her results would be defined by what’s going on in her head, so she came to me for help.

In changing her concepts of self-doubt, fear of not being good enough and other mental noise, her current business soared.

Now she decided her new career will be even better if she waits to start it. Because she changed the way she sees herself, she’ll be able to springboard from the phenomenal, new opportunities coming to her.

What concepts do you have of yourself?

For example, if you choose to get in shape, what’s that voice in your head telling you when you look in the mirror? Which do you think will help you attain your hot body faster?

Beating yourself up for the %*@^#! you see in the mirror?

OR

Approving of yourself just the way you are while envisioning your ideal body and taking action?

We’ve been trained to worry and be hard on ourselves with the erroneous belief that it will whip us into shape.

Actually, it will either hold us back or make us unhappy. The movie Whiplash about a drummer in music school is a good example.

Driven success created calamitous results.

You have the ability to change how you see yourself. By doing so, you set your success ceiling.

All your negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs come from your ego – a false identity everyone has. The ego is very wily and knows exactly how to trick you into believing lack, limit, anxiety and fear.

You know if your ego is running your life when you’re not getting the results you choose.

A businessman completed his side of a negotiation, and the transaction was to be finalized at the beginning of the work week.

He gave clear instructions that everyone had to wait for papers to be signed before taking action on the new deal. That weekend, one of the parties brought in carloads of people to help in the transition, and the other party was furious.

They totally blamed him. Although he was faultless, they wouldn’t listen to or believe a word he said.

He played out the situation in his head over and over again about what went wrong, what he could’ve done differently. He put in weeks of work to give outstanding service, going above and beyond the call of duty. Now all that was lost, and he looked like the bad guy.

While in a group session, he connected the dots and had a big aha moment.

A concept emerged that the voice in his head often repeated:  nobody ever listens to him.

His energy had attracted a circumstance even though he wasn’t present.

When he changed his self-concept, he became empowered.

He recognized his worth. No longer would he play the victim.

Weird how he wasn’t even around and this happened to him, right?

It is until you see that you’re more than a physical body.

Your energy creates. Your feelings create. The conversations in your head create.

Want more success? Shift your energy. Change your concept of yourself.

Your TIP is to observe one negative story you tell yourself, and rewrite it.

Any negative way you talk to yourself, any depressing feelings, come from your ego.

Your ego acts as if it’s being rational when it tells you negative things.

Your ego lies.

There’s a perspective to make you the hero of your story.

Find it.

By doing so, you put your core Essence, your Soul, in the driver’s seat of your life and business.

Especially for the masterminders, how high can you open yourself to receive?

You don’t have to leave town or travel across the country in a wagon to change your self-concept… and enjoy the life and business of your dreams.

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.