Archive for the ‘Fear and anxiety’ Category

Got Fear?

October 11, 2021

 “Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.

Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now


Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away. We work, live, and don’t notice it most of the time, but there’s a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen. It’s a feeling of anticipation, like waiting for the other shoe to fall.

We find countless ways to mask it, such as using power, substances, addictions, sex, control, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage we are only given what we can handle. We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life.

Always.


“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

 Franklin D Roosevelt


What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear. If you want to reduce fear, surround what you fear with love.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Feeling fear makes them stronger as it’s their food and encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and start to melt. Love cannot ride on the fury of anger.

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world. We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love.  Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses.

Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Consider wearing your fear like a rub-on tattoo. If you switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, the fear washes off. Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles.


There’s a wonderful Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 


Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Each time fear rears its head, observe your reaction. Recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time, and redirect your attention to the now. Breathe. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia        

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…

We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security


Would you like to know how you can dump fear?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

Worried? Do This Instead.

October 4, 2021

How are you going to get out of this one?

“I am old and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
Mark Twain 


I was sure I failed the test, and like a bully, worry stalked and tormented me for a week. When the scores finally came in, I learned that I got the highest mark in my class.

Although in third grade, I realized that the agony I created served no purpose.  After reflection, I thought another approach to future upsets would be better.

I told myself: Worrying doesn’t feel good. And if what you’re worrying about doesn’t happen, it’s a lot of feeling bad for nothing.

As an adult I learned that when there really is a problem, I’m better off to get clear on the issue and then focus on the solution rather than on what’s not working.

If needed, we can accept that we are worrying, without judging the situation or the fact that we are bothering to worry. By choosing acceptance we are no longer prisoner to our reactive patterns. Freedom greets us as we open our cell door. When this happens the worry-jailer’s job is done.

Consider this:

  • Our programming for worry is based on past situations that created unfavorable results.
  • We design our future with our present thoughts and feelings.
  • Therefore, energizing fearful thoughts with worry is a shortcut to what we don’t want to come into our lives in the future.

“For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me.”
Job 3:25


Worry projects us into a world of make-believe what-ifs and creates fear. It’s an indicator that we are living in the future, not in present time.

How do we stay in the present? By surrendering to what is rather than what we think something could or should be. Acknowledging what a situation or person is assists us to be conscious. In doing so, we can see more clearly and take more productive action, too.

If there is a situation that needs addressing, being in the present, rather than in a reactive and emotional state, opens us to receive insights and alternatives more easily. 

Humans are wired with the ability to handle life’s situations in this moment of time.

However, we can not cope effectively with mental tapes that project hypothetical, fear-based, future problems.

I was delighted when I read a passage in a great book by Satyam Nadeen.

There’s a part of us that simply watches what’s going on, like seeing a play. I sometimes call it the observer self.

Nadeen refers to this aspect as the Witness. It’s detached about what goes on and doesn’t care about the drama that monkey mind, others or our own, creates about a situation. This drains the life force from worry. In fact, from this vantage point, what we’re worrying about can be rather humorous.


“Each of the countless times a day that the mind or some other person asks ‘why’ about any and every situation that arises (just as a good little mind is supposed to do), the Witness always responds: ‘Don’t know, don’t care!’”
 
Satyam Nadeen, From Seekers to Finders,
The Myth and Reality about Enlightenment


How can we change a pattern of worry? Decide to let it go. Let worry go. Choose to release the habit. Ask the highest part of ourselves to release the pattern and replace it with awareness to navigate through life in a different way… living in present time with grace and ease.


 
“Nothing can be attained without suffering but at the same time one must begin by sacrificing suffering.”
 
Gurdjieff


Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to look at a situation that’s causing you worry from a perspective of “Don’t Know, Don’t Care.”  Consider a viewpoint where letting go of worry supports you to find peace and resolution to whatever is concerning you.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia 

Success Thought:

Mark Twain once said that one way of getting a silly tune out of your head is to put in another. Instead of the worry tune, you can use Bobby McFerrin’s melodic approach of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” 

“In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don’t worry, be happy
Don’t worry, be happy now.”


Would you like to know how you can dump worry?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Discouraged about Business or Life?

September 13, 2021

A client came to see me who felt the proverbial wind was out of her sails. During her session, I wrote beliefs she sadly communicated:

  • Nobody is attracted to me because I’m fat.
  • People will have to know me before they like me, but I’m not going to have people attracted to me because of my appearance.
  • I often feel invisible – people may not remember me by name. 
At first, she resisted my writing her beliefs. Later, when she looked at them objectively, she knew they didn’t make sense.
 
Her beliefs implied she valued the shallow opinions of strangers more than she valued her own.
 
She realized she acted aloof, before others could be aloof to her, as a protective, preemptive strike. Even if she gave them a chance to act differently, they felt her fear and behaved in a way that justified her belief. Either way, her self-fulfilling prophecy echoed her unconscious whisperings.
 
She plugged her energy circuits into what strangers might think about her.
 
I heard writing is God’s way of showing us our sloppy thinking. Our thoughts and feelings become more translucent when we read them later.

Writing is a tool to break our hypnotic spell of what’s not real and wake up.
 
 
Fearing others gives away our power.
 
I knew a man who was emotionally volatile and acted like a human powder keg ready to go off at any time. Once he called me on a Saturday at midnight and demanded I never talk to his wife again. She called me several days earlier to ask me a benign question about a discussion group of mine they planned to attend.

He threatened me by saying he knew where I lived, and their house was a two-minute car ride from mine.
 
At first, I backed off afraid he would explode and harm me.

Then, I realized that by avoiding him through fear, I gave him my power. I stopped my dealings with him because I chose not to associate with him. Therefore, instead of avoiding him because of fear, I kept my power.
 
The same is true in the business world. Fear of rejection may be present when making a sale or communicating an idea to others. What if they don’t like our product or idea?
 
What if they do?
 
 
Illusions can create pain.
 
The moment we spotlight our attention on our illusory perspective, the hypnotic effect is broken. We become present.
 
“But you don’t understand. Nobody loves me. Look what happened to me. My mother abandoned me as a child, and I spent my life feeling empty.  My husband divorced me. I have no control of my life, and I’m a victim of circumstances.”
 
All that really happened was that her mother left, and her husband divorced her.

How she chose to interpret those experiences, the spin she put on the story, and where she gave up her power was her choice.
 
Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption, lived in squalor as a child, and was on his own before age 15. By not plugging his energy into a story of a woeful childhood, he left a legacy as both an entrepreneur with a restaurant empire and a world-class champion for adopting children with the Dave Thomas Foundation.
 
Where do you plug your energy circuits?
 
Continuing to look at life in a non-supportive way is addictive. 

To see yourself as “less than” is a habit that you have the ability to shift.

You CAN change your perspective.

How? Choose to.

You are so powerful that you can choose to see you and your life in an even more empowering way… and watch as you renew yourself to reflect your new mindset.
 
Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to identify what depletes your energy.
  • What do you plug your energy into outside of yourself? Is it a person, thing, group, belief, past experience or idea?
  • When you do this, what or who controls you?
  • Are you blindly believing what others tell you is true?
  • How does this relate to your energy depletion of discouragement, anger or other emotion?
  • If not this, what does?
  • What’s another way you can look at this?
  • What can you do to get on a new track? Go a step at a time to do this.   

Success Thought:

Recognition of your addictions requires inner work. It requires that you look clearly at the places where you lose power in your life, where you are controlled by external circumstances. It requires going through your defenses… Once an addiction has been acknowledged, it cannot be ignored, and it cannot be released without changing your life, without changing your self-image, without changing your entire perceptual and conceptual framework. We do not want to do that because it is our nature to resist change. Therefore, we resist acknowledging our addictions.
 
GARY ZUKAV, The Seat of the Soul

With a zest for Life,
 
Virginia

Tired of feeling the way you do?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2003

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Exhausted? Losing Your Power?

August 30, 2021

Soulgoal Missive, Year 2, No.1, originally puclished in 2002


I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough: the targets to which acquisitioners connect their energy circuits are people or objects to which they have surrendered their power – specifically, the power to control them.

CAROLYN MYSS, Anatomy of the Spirit


I still felt exhausted and light-headed three months, $1000, and seven practitioners later. Adrenal burnout created chronic fatigue, and I couldn’t get a handle on it.  The healing work brought an underlying physical strength but not enough to impact my daily life. The only business I could manage was what was absolutely necessary.

One weekend my energy and head cleared. I was enthusiastic until I met with a client on Monday, and my thinking relapsed into a heavy fog. I had enough and drew the line as I realized this wasn’t about my health. 

I decided it was time to get to the underlying cause.

A friend suggested I was in a transformational process that could create a breakthrough. She told me about a book Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss, which is about health and energy.  I had so little of either it seemed a logical place to look, even though I didn’t see how it would help.

If we don’t recognize that our source of energy comes from within, we look outside ourselves to find it. That could be a person (as found in co-dependent relationships or even someone we respect), a business or organization (when we think our source of money or salvation can only come from an outside source), a substance (such as alcohol, drugs, coffee, or cigarettes), or belief systems (ideas we believe to be true).

Instead of trusting a divine source or ourselves, we believe something outside of us is stronger. By doing so, we give away our power and allow it to control us.

I sat at the computer and wrote what I felt: “Where am I plugging in my energy circuits?Emotionally to something outside myself. Not a person or an idea, but a belief.” 

The answer popped out. To be more visible in my business and speak my truth, people might not like what I have to say. Society would then ostracize me, and I was afraid to have that happen.

In that moment of discovery, the left side of my head instantly cleared!

Recognizing this was the right track, I knew if I opened the book to any page it would give me the insight that I needed to clear the other side of my head.

The light bulb moment began with the thought, “On the right side, I’m short-circuited with fear.”

I realized that in the back of my mind I thought I would never accomplish a deeply cherished goal. This belief froze me into inaction through fear and disappointment. 

“I’m not acknowledging all is in divine order. My will is motivated by fear and a lack of control.  I need to connect my head and heart and allow Thy will not my will be done.”

Poof! Like magic, the right side of my head cleared. Reignited by this new awareness, my energy and clear-headedness returned and didn’t leave.

How could these beliefs affect my body and mind with such devastating results?

If you saw a friend about to cut her wrists or jump off a bridge, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to sabotage her efforts?

Unbeknownst to me, I held a fearful belief of being disapproved of – I was unconsciously imagining the worst about what would happen if people didn’t like what I had to say.

That belief affected me emotionally by doing all it could to prevent me from what it perceived a certain death, death to my ego and the pain it created. That belief, created as a child, did what it thought was protecting me and keeping me safe.

It didn’t matter if the belief was true; unconsciously I believed it and acted as if it was real.

If I felt too exhausted to work, I’d be safe because I wouldn’t be able to share my viewpoints. I wouldn’t be visible for people to disapprove of me and experience some harmful fate.

I know this can sound convoluted and weird, but many of our limiting beliefs were created when we were kids using limited logic. Read on to see what I mean.

Exhaustion comes from emotions.

We may feel tired or extremely fatigued from hard work or putting in long hours, but exhaustion comes from emotions. Exhaustion stems from suppressing worries, anger, fear, and concerns, often telling ourselves we’ll deal with them later. But we don’t. By stuffing and not looking at them, we emotionally sabotage ourselves.

Dragging ourselves home from work may result from not dealing with the stress of associating with certain people or situations. Exhaustion at home may occur by not wanting to admit something needs to change.

We can exhaust ourselves from not wanting to look at the reasons we feel pain or fear.

A woman once told me about her unfulfilling relationship with her father.  As a little girl she regularly hit her head against the wall rather than face that emotional pain.

Now in her twenties, she no longer hits her head. Instead she gets migraines. Althoughpainful, migraines were easier for her to deal with than looking at the pain she felt from being emotionally abandoned by her father.

People sometimes drive themselves through grueling physical activity, constant busyness, or hellish, military training rather than look at the pain and frustration they feel about their parents or past, negative experiences. It’s often easier to focus on the body and its needs while flying under one’s emotional radar.

We can identify with pain, illness, or exhaustion, even turning it into a badge of courage. This seems easier than facing what lies beneath the surface, as the survival of the pain depends on remaining unconscious.

Our shadow self is afraid to allow the light of awareness to be shined on it. The dark side wants to remain hidden so it won’t be found out, fearing a fate worse than death.

As long as we continue to unconsciously identify with the pain rather than look at it and let it go, it continues to hold power over us. This is what causes us to relive variations of emotionally charged situations repeatedly.

The situations change but the underlying feelings of fear, pain or fill-in-the-blank emotion are close to the same way we felt during the original affront.

Our spirit desires a release of unsupportive energy. That’s why it continues to draw to us similar situations (even if they suck) so we can wake up and be free.

The reason we are afraid of it so much is that we created this fearful part as a child. These emotions feel natural and familiar tinged with a childlike dread that we’ve learned to suppress and live with over the years.

Imagine a helpless youngster dealing with a challenging, life situation. Obviously, coping and life skills are limited. Fear takes over. If we haven’t resolved these childhood impressions, they can continue to haunt us until we gain perspective and release their energy.

If we avoid releasing that unsupportive energy, we look for our power elsewhere while feeling inadequate to manage on our own. We settle for jobs, relationships, and unsatisfying lives. This is exhausting.

Do you feel exhausted? Covid getting you down? Had enough? Where are you losing your power? Who or what did you give your power to?

A first step to freedom is self-awareness, and sometimes asking for help to perceive the blind spots and see. 



Ready to identify and let go of limiting beliefs
and feelings that hold you back?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Are NOT Your Thoughts… and yes, you are good enough

August 23, 2021
You can open the window to your thoughts, and think outside YOUR box.

Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 15, originally published in 2001

It was my first singing class. After performing my rendition of a song, my voice coach didn’t comment on my presentation but simply suggested that I approach it using different emotions. Although it was a reasonable request, a sinking feeling came over me and began to take me down with it.

I got through the evening but went home devastated as anguish overtook me far beyond what happened in the class. Three days later I still felt this sickening feeling within and knew that it was totally out of proportion from the event.

Then it hit me.

My (unconscious) interpretation of the comment triggered a belief that when I’m myself, I’m not good enough.

“Why can’t you be more like your cousins Kathy and Sharon?” was one of my mother’s mantras I grew up with — to be good enough I had to be like someone else.

My feelings turned from sadness to freedom as the light shined on this hidden side of me.

The casual remark served as an alarm clock to wake up an old pain after years of sleep. Unconsciously, it directed my actions and responses causing me to feel “I’m not good enough” although there was nothing in the present moment to validate it. After discovering the truth, my life changed.

I hadn’t seen one of my cousins for 18 years, even though she lives just a few hours from me. Yet two weeks after my discovery, I found myself visiting my aunt and her daughter.

Within minutes of our time together, I shared my story with her, and she replied, “Why would you ever want to be like us? The insinuation in our home was that you were special, and we wanted to be like you!”

How often do we create a false sense of reality accompanied by unnecessary limitations and anxiety?

There are so many reasons to experience fear these days, but how many of them are based on reality?

Fear arises from an obscure feeling that something will happen to us in the future that we won’t be able to handle. Then we attach a significance and interpretation that create pain.

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.


“You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future.”

Eckhart Tolle,
Power of Now


What’s the antidote? Get free from allowing your thoughts to rule and instead be the master of what you think and feel.

How do we reclaim our dominion? Focus on the Now instead of some imagined future.

Truly be present and live in this moment in time. This means not obsessing over what happened in the past and not projecting in the future some theorized threat. We learn from the past and plan for the future. We are best equipped to deal with life situations when we are fully present.

Life is what it is. “Resistance is futile” and creates more pain.


We always have the ability to deal with whatever hand we are dealt, although as Mother Teresa said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  


Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to disidentify with your thoughts, as if they are you and always the truth.  Instead, be the observer of them. Experiment with the following exercise entitled “You Are NOT Your Thoughts.”

  1. Do you imagine that your future will be better or worse than it is now?
  2. Observe yourself focusing your attention into the future. Now shift your attention back to reading in this moment. Notice your ability to shift consciously between the future and present.
  3. The part of you that observes this shift is the real you. You can detach from your identification with your thinking at any moment by going into the observer state – the real you is doing the watching. You experience the real you only in the present moment.
  4. Whenever fear, anxiety, or other such emotion arises, switch to being the watcher of your thoughts and feelings. Even if you still feel trapped by them or feel stuck, you are on your road to freedom, gaining greater self-mastery with every step.

Observation of your thoughts breaks identification with them. You take control of your life instead of being led by fear and limitation. It’s a powerful tool.

With a zest for Life,

Virginia


Success Thought

“Getting there is half the fun; being there is all of it!”

Chauncey Gardner, in the movie Being There


Ready for more freedom?

You are more than enough!


Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Ascend to YOUR Heights

August 16, 2021

Originally published in 2001, Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 16 

And the most difficult of tasks to keep
Heights which the soul is competent to gain

William Wordsworth (1770 – 1850)
The Excursion, Book IV 

Five minutes ago, after years of searching, I rediscovered this quote that has captured my imagination for decades.

The most challenging of all tasks before us, a predestined appointment to keep, is to ascend to the heights we are fully capable of attaining.

One part of us knows what we can achieve. We feel it in our bones. If we allow ourselves to turn our attention to our magnificent potential and act on its magnitude, we can accomplish what our hearts prompt us to do.

Another aspect of us – the part that’s been beaten up over the years and loses vision and hope – questions, downplays, and ridicules what we really want. In fact, we often can’t admit how much we want it. This is a safety net we created to protect ourselves from failure.

The thinking goes, if I keep my precious dream tucked away at least I know where it is, and it’s safe. I can cherish it as my image of the Holy Grail, hidden from harm’s way.

If I actually look for it and fail, I’ll be crushed. If my most sacred dream is ruined, what’s the use of doing anything? No, better play it safe and avoid the possibility of pain. Besides, who do you think you’re kidding even to try to go after what you want?

However, that first part knows better and feels cheated from the fullness of life.

Paul J. Meyer told this story several years ago. Can you imagine offering an ice cream cone to a small child, and just as that child reaches for it you smash it to the ground? Of course not.

Neither would your Creator present you with an idea unless you have the ability to do something about it.

If an idea came to you, and keeps coming and coming and coming, you have the ability to ascend to the heights of your vision, or the idea would be gone already.

Even if others are doing something similar, nobody can fulfill your vision like you. No two people are alike.


“A climber’s day always starts at the crux: getting out of bed.”

Guillaume Dargaud


An episode of Xena, Warrior Princess, showed an image of her in a future life as a great Peacemaker and Negotiator – a task Xena wanted. However, she wouldn’t be able to have that life unless she fully lived this one as a warrior. The concept is to fully live the life in front of us, learn the lessons, and take action however we can. Then we move forward to something that may interest us even more.

Where do you start to accomplish your most magnificent task? Exactly where you are.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to take steps to ascend to your heights.

  • Have a vision of what you choose. If you haven’t allowed your nearest and dearest one to surface, choose something that’s right in front of you. Your next step is ALWAYS around you. Bigger next steps come after you take your immediate ones.
  • Pick something to do, even if it’s one small action within your vision or goal.
  • Narrow your focus. Don’t scatter your energy by trying to do many things or too much of the big picture at one time.
  • Get busy; do something.

With a zest for Life, 
Virginia    


Success Thought

“One cannot climb at all unless he has sufficient urge to do so. Danger must be met (indeed it must be used) to an extent beyond that incurred to normal life. That is one reason men climb; for only in response to challenge does one man become his best.”

Ax Nelson


If you’d like help 
to ascend to your heights,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.


What If You Run out of Time?

May 24, 2021

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.

Albert Einstein

“I have no control over my life,” protested a workshop participant angrily. The implication that we can have control of our lives seemed preposterous and brought fierce resistance.

“My life is governed by this,” she indignantly proclaimed while holding the Metro bus schedule. “I have to be on time for the bus if I want to go anywhere, but I can’t control if the bus is late, early, or will show up at all.”

The bus schedule is how she relates to much of life as she relies on public transportation.

Another participant chimed in firmly and gently. “To get control of your life, of your heart, and what you really want to do, you have to let go of the bus schedule. You are greater than the bus schedule. This is a metaphor for your life; it is ruled by time and when and if you can catch a bus rather than by what you really want.”

When asked at the beginning of the workshop about her heart’s desire she replied: “I don’t care. Why bother? What I want doesn’t matter because I’m not going to get it anyway.”

One of the interactive workshop games disappointed her. As we had a half an hour left, she felt pressured and therefore unable to do the exercise. She felt we were running out of time. Her life largely revolved around time… and her lack of self-worth.

She was so caught up in her whirlwind of fear regarding time that she couldn’t see that this was the issue holding her back from gaining clarity or achieving what she wanted.

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”

Albert Einstein

Life is a mirror. Little did I know as I watched this dear woman grapple with the “reality” of time that time was the very issue that saddened me all day.

As I looked past the smoke and mirrors of a decision I made earlier, I realized that my pain stemmed from an underlying fear of wasting my time.

Subconsciously, I worried that I might lose time if I made a mistake, as I felt I had done in the past, so I wanted to cut my losses with anything that looked as if I might be making an error in judgment.

Everything is in divine order. Even if I made different decisions in the past, I would not be any further along than I am at this moment because I needed the lessons I learned to do what I am doing now.

We are where we are meant to be, and when we realize this at a deep level, a great peace and understanding are felt.

Time is another form of separation, and it holds us back from living life fully now.

When we start to separate things into segments and compare ourselves to others or a fabricated timeline, we separate from our hearts and living in the present moment.

Our perception of time can be a facet of fear.

The movie Sliding Doors starring Gwyneth Paltrow demonstrated the What If scenario by playing out two timelines simultaneously. What if a character made a different choice at a given moment in time? The journey took a different route but where they ended up remained the same.

Quantum mechanics reveals that time can vary!

Einstein postulated that time and distance are not fixed!
Speed can remain the same even though distance and time change.

Einstein called the slowing of time due to motion time dilation.

v = d / t
velocity (speed) equals distance traveled divided by time

The PBS website from the show Nova on Time Travel states “the closer we came to traveling at the speed of light, the more time would slow down for us relative to someone not moving.” 

When we consider that an inner light is at the essence of who we are, this statement becomes more intriguing.


Once I left a half an hour later than intended for a talk I gave. I needed the extra time to place hand outs on 50 chairs and organize other aspects of my presentation.

I knew if I used the mantra on the 45-minute drive, “I’m late; I’m late,” I would have been an emotional wreck by the time I arrived.

Instead I told my chattering mind, “I have all the time I need.” When I got there I discovered that one of my clients, who regularly attends this group and likes to arrive early, was available and very happy to assist me.

I had more than enough time.

Time is malleable. You can choose to change your self-imposed concept of time in your life.

Start by re-evaluating one area of your life where you feel you do not have enough time. Look at it from the viewpoint of a wise friend and reframe your perspective to one where you have all the time you need… and won’t run out of it.

Need to get control of your time?
Contact me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Soulgoal Missive from 2001

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Change Can Be Messy, Especially in Texas

February 22, 2021

Dear Friend,

Things often fall apart before they come together and can look quite messy in the process… to a new and better way.

I know life looks crazy now, but consider this.

If there’s an infected wound, it must be cleaned first before it can heal properly.

There is a silver lining to our current time of changes, from a virus that quarantined the world to a damaged economy and an overworked energy grid.

Time will reveal more of what that lining looks like after a much needed, overdue cleaning.

The clarion call to respect life is finally being heard. What’s a life worth? Let’s put things in perspective.

  • Respect life of those who are more susceptible to a virus or reopen an economy? Do older lives matter? I watched the Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick say, in essence, that older people should be willing to give up their lives for the sake of the young people’s future economy.
  • I read about a college student who was saddened because of COVID-19. He couldn’t graduate or get a job and had to live with his parents. I thought about the movie I’d seen, 1917, when men his age were getting blown apart in WWI. Not for months, but for over four years.

The process of change and healing often is messy.

Have you ever cleaned a room, or anything, and partway through the process found it looked even messier than when you began? Stuff got moved around, some piled up to be discarded. But then a reorganization shifted the environment to something better.

Some Texans have experienced extreme hardships because of an Arctic blast that left many without power and water. Homes are left flooded. Broken pipes. Broken dreams.

However, although it’s often difficult to see while in the midst of challenges and as many are licking their wounds, somewhere, somehow, this will bring us to better days.

Priorities change. I’ve observed, for example, how many people are taking care of each other more, and there’s a greater sense of community.

If some don’t shift away from thinking about themselves first, they have an opportunity to learn some harsh lessons. This includes politicians.

Things that annoyed us before take a back seat to current needs during stressful times.

Years ago I was in a business transition, and I was worried to tears because I didn’t know what to do. My marketing pipeline of how clients came to me finished months earlier, and I felt emotionally and financially vulnerable, distraught and directionless.

Then a FEMA-level flood came to my town. I ended up with mold in my house and me for six months. This was followed by six months of sleepless nights because of caretaking my sick cat whose weight dropped from 14 1/2# to 4 1/2# in three weeks because of an untreatable thyroid condition.

I asked a teacher of mine in the first few days of what was to be a difficult, year-long journey, “Why did this happen? What was this about?” 

The reply I received was something on the lines of, “You stopped worrying about money.”

I used to have fear running in the background like a software program in a computer that’s always on.

By the end of that year, I learned to let go of fear and worry. They only add to problems and don’t help anything. Amongst other things I learned is to trust that it all works out. Now it’s part of what I coach, and it’s made me a better teacher.

Remember that all of us have things to learn personally and collectively during challenging times.

In addition to people reaching out to each other, could there be other silver linings from the effects of the Texas Arctic blast?

With deep respect for the suffering of my fellow Texans, this event may provide a turning point in the way some Americans consider how we generate energy. While the United States is about to embark on addressing our infrastructure and climate change policies, perhaps more people will be open to alternative energy sources.

What are you learning?

With gratitude,

Virginia

If you’d like help overcoming fear or worry,
so you can enjoy your life more,

contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

www.soulgoals.com

How to Make Your Life Easier in 3 Seconds

January 11, 2021
Flow, flow, flow yourself, gently down the stream… of life.

Ever start your day with dread? You don’t know how you’re going to get things done. Worried about what your spouse, boss or kids are going to say or do. Wondering how you’re going to get more money. Feel stuck.

You may not mean it, but haphazard musings create intentions that cascade throughout your day. If you begin your morning with fear, anxiety or lack of direction, life will present you with a smorgasbord of experiences to match.

December was super busy for me. I launched my days thinking about my To Do list, random thoughts, what happened yesterday… just anything. The results were a crisis a week that miraculously got solved – but what a roller coaster ride.

I had taken a break from what I know works – quiet time to go within and to consciously set intentions. As the year rolled in, I realized it made sense to take three seconds to say:

I CHOOSE TO BE IN DIVINE FLOW.

I often add a few extra game changers in addition to Divine Flow such as choosing Divine: order, timing, financial abundance, grace and ease or whatever idea that inspires me.

A couple of weeks later, I noticed how everyday had been astounding. I was still busy and successful yet not overwhelmed – as long as I remembered to choose to be in Divine Flow. I also noticed that if I didn’t react but instead let situations play out, even things that appeared to be two sandwiches short of a lunch were fulfilling.

It’s mind boggling to think that something so simple can manifest such profound results.

Imagine going to a ticket counter at a train station. If you hop on any train you could land in an urban jungle. But Divine Flow is different. You’re allowing the life force to guide you, surrendering control to a Master Planner who has your best interest at heart.

If you question that life is supportive, consider these words from Einstein:

“I think the most important question facing humanity is, ’Is the universe a friendly place?’ This is the first and most basic question all people must answer for themselves.”

“If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe,’ then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning.”

“God does not play dice with the universe.”


Your life isn’t random. You’re not a victim. You have the ability to consciously design your life with the Divine.

Discover this co-creation by running an experiment. Choose to be in Divine Flow daily for two weeks. Not just any flow – not your neighbor’s or that of people at work. Divine Flow. Affirm this with an attitude of faith not desperation. If you forget in the morning, do it later. I’ve now included it as a non-negotiable way to start my day, right up there with going to the bathroom.

Now it’s your turn to “row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.  Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily. Life is but a dream.”

It’s a dream you’re creating.

Reposted from January 14, 2013

Like support to create an easier life?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people to create
an easier life.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

The BEST New Year’s Resolution

December 28, 2020

When I was a little girl, I asked my mother what should I be. I wanted her answer to be about my future profession, like a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker.

She always replied that she wanted me to be happy, which seemed at the time a lame response.

The older I get and the more I know about life, though, I realize what a wise answer it was.

Why being happy matters

As like attracts like, the more we’re happy, the more happy experiences we’ll attract.

Feeling good allows us not only to achieve our goals but to create a better life.

We can be rich, powerful, famous and living the dream, but if we’re not happy, well, life isn’t much fun. Living in stress, worry, fear, sadness or struggle can destroy our physical, financial, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Happiness doesn’t come because we have everything we want; we won’t enjoy them and may find that they slip away if we don’t feel good.

Stress, anxiety and worry are only habits that don’t serve you or anyone else.

Feeling afraid because of lack of money, love or health won’t change when you have everything money can and can’t buy. If these ways of thinking are habitual, you’d find something to get you bent out of shape.

Ever notice people (maybe you) who always have a reason to complain or feel bad? Even when things are great, they find something that’s not good enough.

Be happy. Find a silver lining no matter what.

You might be thinking that I don’t understand. You’ve got a lot of problems. You’ve been done wrong. You’ve experienced loss, and you’re afraid the proverbial other shoe might fall. You’ve been living in pain. You’ve had terrible things happen to you.

I really do get it because when everything in my life was falling apart, I knew I’d lose it all if I stepped onto the slippery slope of fear. My negativity would have made things go from bad to worse.

So I made a decision to feel good. To feel good in spite of it all.

Step at a time, sometimes baby steps, my life got better and better and better.


The BEST New Year’s resolution is to resolve to feel good. With this decision all things or something better are possible. It really is a choice.


You have complete control over your perspective, regardless of the situation. Your interpretation of events, your life, your success or manifesting your dreams is your key to the door of happiness, misery or getting what you most want.

Your energy will draw to you more of how you feel.

How in the world can you feel good in spite of the odds? Be grateful.

A client gifted me a handmade journal with an embroidered peacock on the cover that she bought in one of my favorite museums. It’s so beautiful that I decided I only wanted beautiful words in it. Another client on her team suggested a journaling exercise that makes her feel good.

Write what’s working in your life.

Soon after, on a day when everything was uncharacteristically out-of-synch, I couldn’t leave town to go to a party for me! Instead of having a hissy fit, I grabbed my new journal and wrote on the entire first page the many things that are going well.

Focusing on gratitude shifted my energy, allowed me to let go of the stress and be in present time. Of course, the change in plans turned out to be way better.

HAPPY New Year to you.

Hint: the clue is in the greeting. The first word is HAPPY.

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to feel good and be happy.

You can use feeling good as your inner GPS to know if you’re on the right track or not. It may be that the only thing needed for you to be happy is an attitude adjustment.

Also, how you feel can be an indicator that you’re on the right path or heading in a direction that no longer serves you or maybe never did.

If you decide a change is needed, feel good about where you are, even if you don’t like it. Then line up your energy by feeling good about your new direction and take actions for something better.

Happy New Year! It’s your choice to parrot the words or make them come true for you!

May you enjoy your happiest year ever!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.