Want to Take It to Another Level?

When going outside the known and our comfort zone, when choosing to take ourselves to another level, it’s likely new tools and skills will be needed. This has nothing to do with not being good enough or a reason to be afraid of rejection!

Once we get over our stories – “yes, buts,” “you don’t understand,”  “I was told this is the way it is (or I am),” “there’s nothing that can be done” and countless other reasons we try to legitimize why we do things the way we’ve always done – new solutions can appear.

The answers to get you through any challenge live within you. You’ll either get pointed in a direction, a direct insight will come, you’ll overhear something helpful by chance… somehow your personal GPS will show you the way.

Pay attention to your inner nudges. They provide clues.

Be open to step back and see things in a new perspective. The seemingly impossible may actually be possible with a different approach.

Niels Bohr, who won the Nobel Prize in physics in 1922, wrote this:

“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.”

Bohr, who contributed to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, tapped into his creativity to use outside the box thinking, which allowed him to be part of breakthrough discoveries.

Expand your territory. Change your perspective. Open to breakthroughs.

Excerpted from Soulgoals’ Post of March 26, 2018

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Need help taking it to another level?

Contact me to learn how at: virginia@soulgoals.com • http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

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Do You Believe in You?

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others, to question ourselves, especially when compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.

If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust. We are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by recognizing your own value.

Consider this. If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.

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Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see aspects of yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog, November 13, 2017

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If you’d like support
to believe in yourself more
and the benefits it can bring,
contact me
for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-Free Session
by phone.
Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to
enhance their lives or share their gifts 
in a BIGGER way but
don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

I Learned This While Existing in a Living Hell

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For years I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

He had a Ph.D. in psychology and was a revered member of our spiritual community, which played into why it took me a while to realize I lived with a self-centered, master manipulator who cared only for himself.

He easily saw my vulnerabilities of low self-esteem and self-doubt and how to use them to intimidate me and undermine my self-confidence while bending me to his will.

Although we had been dating long distance, he lived a six-hour drive away, we solidified our legal commitment to be together within three weeks after my father passed away. 

Note: It’s recommended to avoid making big decisions after experiencing a death.

In our second month together, I was bullied to let go of my business and with it my financial freedom. Amongst countless other examples, he listened in on my phone conversations and would scream at me non-stop if I didn’t do what he wanted. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer with no cash or credit cards as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

In our third month together, the stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t able to speak my words in the right order, think well, have physical energy to move and would cry if someone said hello. 

Enabling this behavior was my belief there was something wrong with me. Years later, when I saw the 1944 movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, I recognized that this was what he tried to do… make me believe I was crazy so he could control me.

My unhappiness induced me to question and think. 
 

He insisted his reality was truth, but was it? His created what I called a living hell on earth.

I made a bad choice to be with him, which put me on a sorrowful path. Eventually, I figured out that regardless of how many good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away.
Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority.
Even at the risk of losing my worldly goods. 
Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a relationship mistake.

Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up for MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient silence and submission.

When I got honest with me, changes occurred, which made my exit easy. I packed my car and was gone in three weeks. 

The good news is that this experience taught me to think for myself and not believe others’ so-called authority. I learned to separate what I saw was true vs. what others told me I should believe.

And be the coach I am today.

It’s like the person who says the proverbial, “Yes, I’ll still love you in the morning” … not. Beware: many people lie to get what they want. Many believe their own lies!

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

Don’t wait for permission. It’s YOUR life!

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog Post May 8, 2011

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If you’d like support
to listen to
your heart and
what to do about it,
contact me
for a complimentary
Soulgoals’ Break-Free Session
by phone.
Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to
enhance their lives or share their gifts 
in a BIGGER way but
don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do You Doubt Yourself?

A mastermind team did an exercise that included prioritizing personal and professional goals, identifying obstacles, followed by strategies to overcome each one. If there was a roadblock, what could they do about it? Procrastination was a big obstacle. Many delays were due to questioning themselves. ** Are they capable? ** Are they good enough? ** Are they doing the right thing? Avoidance happened when their goals involved new activity and knowledge that differed from how they’d done things in the past. They were growing their businesses in new ways, which meant doing things they’d never done before. The same was true for doing different things in their personal lives. Venturing into an arena unknown to them brought on self-doubt, which immobilized them from moving forward. When going outside the known and our comfort zone, when choosing to take ourselves to another level, it’s likely new tools and skills will be needed. This has nothing to do with not being good enough or a reason to be afraid of rejection! Once we get over our “yes, buts,” “you don’t understand,” “I was told this is the way it is (or I am),” “there’s nothing that can be done” and countless other reasons we try to legitimize why we do things the way we’ve always done, new solutions can appear. The answers to get you through any challenges live within you. You’ll get pointed in a direction, a direct insight will come, you’ll overhear something by chance… or somehow your personal, internal GPS will show you the way. Pay attention to your inner nudges. They provide clues. Be open to step back and see things in a new perspective. The seemingly impossible may actually be possible with a different approach. Niels Bohr, who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922, wrote: “Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.” Bohr, who contributed to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, tapped into his creativity to use outside-the-box-thinking, which allowed him to be part of breakthrough discoveries. Expand your territory. Change your perspective. Open to breakthroughs. You are more powerful than you think you are. Believe in yourself… just a little bit more! P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share. I work with people who would enjoy a more fulfilling life, choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by connecting with their Soul’s goals. Reposted from my Soulgoals’ Blog of March 26, 2018

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Your Worst Critic? Stop Shoulding on Yourself.

Are you listening to your true Essence or the lies of your ego?

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A trick of the ego is to have you believe there’s something wrong with you (and “them,” too); you’re stupid; nothing is ever good enough, especially you; others are doing better than you (comparing as if that’s proof that you’re not as good); you’re critical of yourself and others; you shoulda known better; worried what if (the worst) happens; you shoulda, woulda, coulda done things differently; you disapprove of, well, when you think about it, kinda everything, including you, your life, others, and on and on. So…

 
STOP SHOULDING ON YOURSELF!

What can you do about things right now?

You DO have the ability to change your perspective.

If you CHOOSE to. So, choose to shift.

Your true Essence supports you NOW, 100%, and it’s always guiding you.

Listen, even amidst the noisy ego chatter. The best you can is alright.

Consider another way of looking at things.

Instead, focus on asking yourself, “What did I learn?”

Fast forward to the present moment as you leave the past behind.

Benefit from your lessons and move on to your next adventure.

Life’s a journey. You don’t have to get hung up on any one step of it.

One option is to live your life with as much grace as you can, without judgment.

BE kind, especially to yourself.

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Are you DONE with that nagging voice in your head? Contact me for a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session. virginia@soulgoals.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. Or maybe would like a more fulfilling life.  I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  Email me at: virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Short story: Intuition. Trust. Saving Her Baby.

Delivery rooms are highly charged environments, containing the potential of life and death. While going through a particularly hard labor during the birth of her second child, my friend was directed to push.

The attendants’ attitudes and firm voices basically told her we know you’re tired, but stop being so lazy and push.

By the fourth and fifth time of asking her to push, they raised their voices and got abusive and angrier.  Don’t be such a baby and a wimp. PUSH!

My friend refused, in spite of what the experts demanded her to do. At one point she told them, “I won’t push.”

Finally, the doctor checked the cord and learned it was coiled around her baby’s neck. He had to physically go in and cut it loose. The baby was born blue and not breathing, but they gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. The baby survived and was healthy.

The mother later asked the doctor if she had pushed when everyone said, would she have strangled her baby. He replied, “Yes.”

The mom was the ultimate expert at the moment. She was aware of her body and inner guidance and followed it, although she didn’t know why. She knew she wouldn’t push regardless of what others told her. If she had, the ending of that story wouldn’t be happy.

Her first baby was born at home, by choice, and that delivery was smooth and easy.

Her second baby was different. At night, after hard labor started, she thought how easy it would be to have the baby at home. But because they planned a hospital birth, she went through the motions to fulfill that plan.

She said if she followed her guidance in the first place, her mother’s intuition told her she wouldn’t have gone through the agonizing labor, uterine exhaustion, with subsequent complications for her baby.

The lesson? Trust yourself 100%. She needed not to placate others and what they wanted, but instead take a stand for her baby and herself.

Ready to trust yourself?

Contact me to learn how at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Posted on Soulgoals’ Blog, May 19, 2019

I Was Challenged? Is It Good or Is It Bad?

Life presents both challenges and blessings. Your perspective determines how they affect you and your ability to make your dreams come true.

Once upon a time there was a farmer named Sei Weng who had one horse and one son. One day the horse wandered away, and the neighbors commented that this was unfortunate. The farmer replied, “How do you know it’s bad luck?”

Soon after the horse returned bringing several wild mares with him. The neighbors congratulated him on his good luck. Ah, what lovely, strong horses! However, the farmer responded by saying, “How do you know it’s good luck?”

The son was thrown while riding one of the wild horses and broke his leg. His neighbors once again commented on how sorry they were for his bad luck, at which the farmer said, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted into the military and sent into battle. Because he had a broken leg, the old man’s son didn’t have to go to war. The neighbors were excited about his good fortune, but the farmer remarked, “Is it good or is it bad?”

Another version of this Chinese folktale concludes with, “That’s the way it is.”

Another says that fortune turns to misfortune, and misfortune to fortune. There is no end to changes, and the mystery can’t be known.

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Because the farmer was emotionally detached and didn’t go along with everyone’s thinking, he was able to see a bigger picture. 

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According to the Chaos Theory our lives are always in chaos, and this is what opens us to fresh forms and possibilities. When we reach what is called a “bi-furcation point,” a “point of departure” takes place, and a “self-organization out of chaos” occurs.

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In other words, events that serve as turning points create a new order and structure. 

Instead of adversely reacting to circumstances that seem bad, consider they may be a portal to something greater than you currently can imagine.

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A messy divorce may be a ticket to personal empowerment and overcoming fear.

The loss or lack of worldly goods may be what cracks the shell to allow humility and what’s truly important to be seen or to create space for a new direction or life-changing insights… and the impetus to pursue one’s dreams, perhaps in a new way.

However, these new ways are often different than we previously imagined how our lives would be. Suffering, tears and frustration can be the result when we’re at a “point of departure” but resist departing from our old ways.

My recent experience:

I researched ceiling fans with lights that had to meet very specific criteria for my back porch. I invested a bizarre amount of hours to find the right one. FOUR fans that I chose became unavailable as they sold out while I was looking at them!

Getting frustrated was an option, but instead I said to myself, “this or something better.” I was on the verge of giving up but accidentally found a green one I absolutely love. Originally, it was in a price range that was over six times more than some I’d been considering.

I called the fan company with questions, at which time I inquired about the cost, too. It was less than half the price that a dozen other sites were charging for their sales price, plus I found an additonal discount code.

The rep told me that green was an unusual color, and it just went on sale for a fraction of the original cost.

It fits my needs way better than fans I’d seen at any price.

I kept getting blocked from purchasing others until the right fan showed up at the right price.

It was challenging when I missed out FOUR times on fans I spent a long time on finding. Disappointing? Is it good or is it bad? Turned out way better.

You can choose your perspective. Look deeper. When the timing is right, you may see the silver lining.

No matter how it appears, things change. The highs become lows or ordinary. Regardless of how frustrating or hopeless aspects of your life may seem, this too shall pass.

Your highs and lows come from judging how you think your life should’ve been in the past or should be in the future. Your now, this moment of time, is perfect just the way it is.

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Embrace what is without a drama-filled story attached to it, and all your struggles are over.

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Your dreams can come true. How? The way reveals itself. Listen to the inner whispers guiding you. Be open to receive. Consider a new point of view because nothing is what it seems. All is in divine order and surpasses your wildest imagination.

Nothing would be what it is.

Because everything would be what it isn’t.

And contrary-wise – what it is, it wouldn’t be.

And what it wouldn’t be, it would.

You see?

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

If you’d like help in 
creating your life to work better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

Edited and reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog, March 8, 2013

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Is God Doing This To You?

During these challenging times, when you’re forced to listen to your thoughts more than usual – what are they telling you?

Do you think you or humanity is being punished by God? Maybe God is laughing at you, at us?

Are you frightened during the night or in private moments about what you hear inside your head? What if the worse happens?

Do you feel depressed, anxious, angry, alone, bored, scared or any number of other sad emotions?

Why is this happening?

The late, fascinating Stuart Wilde wrote about another way of looking at moments, like what we’re experiencing, in his book The Trick to Money is Having Some:

“The great upheavals of the world are just self-transformational seminars which a lot of very unconscious people are forced to attend so that they look at their lives under pressure.

If you don’t change, reality in the end forces that change upon you. But the ego/personality hates change…”

“To me the quintessence of freedom is feeling not a circumstance. If you rely on circumstance to grant you freedom, it is unlikely that you will ever achieve it. For circumstances constantly change and the very nature of your seeking freedom in things outside of yourself creates the impossibility of it in your heart.”

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Maybe you doubt yourself.

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Therefore, do you believe it’s justifiable for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, you might think that an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

This isn’t true!

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A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.

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By this statement, she then expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? To be afraid of what life throws at them? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

Mother/Father God, the universe, or however you view this loving Source energy, cares and supports you in the same way.

Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself! You can get through this.

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How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions, especially now?

Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
 

• Find your anchor of calm within; it’s there.
• Breathe.
• Detach emotionally from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
• How does something feel – good or not so much? Feeling good is a positive indicator. 
• Then make decisions, and take action.
• This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
• It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
• The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

 

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My Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.” The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.” This Soulgoals’ lesson goes on to give a TIP: “If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.” A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made. We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe. The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning. Trust you can get through these times. Trust your inner spirit to guide you. You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply. Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself. P.S. Know someone who might appreciate this post? Please share. This is reprinted with updates from Soulgoals’ Archives, posted April 27, 2017.

If you’d like support or clarity of vision, contact me to find out how. I offer complimentary Break-Free sessions. Contact me: virginia@soulgoals.com http://www.soulgoals.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Giving Your Power Away!

Before you read this post, I’d like to thank the veterans for their service on today’s celebration of Veterans Day in the U.S.A.

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras.

Translated: who you are isn’t good enough.

A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates one of the voices that chatters in the back of our heads.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.”

Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line?

This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. You try to fit in because, as a little kiddo, you knew you needed help from others to survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd-pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll rarely be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

• Trying to please others and worrying about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
• Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
• Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
• Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
• Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
• Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE.

Talk with your inner Essence to discover the best path for you: 

1. Go within and ask your question.
2. Listen and write your answers.
3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

Reprinted from my May 13, 2011 post.

If you’d like support
in being more empowered,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.
If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, MAYBE YOU’RE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

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 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.

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Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

• Bring you peace of mind and heart
• Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
• Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
• Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
• Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

If you’re ready for miracles in your life, it helps to know how to find them.

Remember this game?  Children look for an object and are told cold, warm or hot as they get further away or closer to it.

Life gives you clues like this, too, so you’ll know if you’re on the right track.

• You’re cold when you feel like you’re pushing a brick wall, and it won’t budge.
• You’re warm when you feel like you’re in the flow, enjoying a magic carpet ride.
• You’re hot when you’re manifesting (what you want happens).

What can that look like in real life?

Ever make yourself wrong when you don’t have energy to do what you think you “should”?

Yes, sometimes you just have to take action to get your mojo running.

Sometimes you need a course correction. Even if it’s the right goal, it could be the wrong approach or attitude.

When you feel like a fish swimming upstream, maybe it’s because you’re going against the flow. 

Another way to know? If you’re moping, whining, angry, frustrated, complaining, fearful or worried, you splashed ashore. You jumped out of the flow and became a fish out of water.

This is a good time to pause and observe. What makes you happy?

Do you really have to force yourself to go in the direction you’re going – and the way you’re doing it? 

Let yourself be guided by the flow instead of trying to make things happen.

Here’s how I went from cold to hot in manifesting.

 I decided to get living room furniture. 

 I had images of what I wanted. The back of the sofa had curved lines. Because I enjoy holiday decorating, I wanted the sofa to be red or green.

 COLD: I became irritated whenever I went to a store. I couldn’t find what I wanted. Shopping was laborious. Spending all that money and not enjoying it didn’t seem right. So I stopped forcing myself to shop.

 Soon after, new neighbors moved in next door. Their previous home was twice the size and several hours away.

 Not knowing which living room set to use until they could try them out in their new home, they brought both of them.

HOT: They sold me the sofa from their rarely used formal living room, nicely protected in movers’ plastic. The back? Curved. Colors? Red and green.

 Added to this was the entire living room set: two end tables; a coffee table; two lamps; rug; chair; and a throw blanket. Anxious to clear their garage, they sold all of it to me for $175! All items looked brand new!

 Instead of pricey delivery costs because I live out-of-town from the stores, we only had to move it across the yard.

 My lack of interest and irritation was my guidance telling me to stop shopping.

Here are some components that allowed me to manifest the furniture: 

• Made a choice – I decided to have new living room furniture.
• Identified details – I only had images about the colors and curved back, so I had my attention on those. I worked with what I knew, and that was enough.
• Took action – Shopping focused my energy. It was an on-the-job visualization.
• Let it go – I didn’t force myself to do what didn’t bring me joy. This allowed me to relax and open to the flow of possibilities.

There’s another part of the story.  I almost missed out on this deal.

At first I was told the sofa was plaid, so I said I wasn’t interested. It didn’t fit my mental picture.

Fortunately, the next morning I woke up and decided it wouldn’t hurt to look. When I did, I discovered it fit the image and feel of what I wanted better than any style I’d looked at in the stores.

ON THE VERGE OF TURNING INTO AN ICE CUBE: I almost turned my back on this manifestation because I prejudged without even looking into it. 

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Now it’s your turn.

1. Breathe and relax.
2. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
3. Choose to be in divine flow.
4. Take action in the direction of your goal.

 Let it go. I mean really let go of the need or desire to have it. Allow divine timing to work its wonders. Let me know your results!

This is a reprint from April 21, 2011.

 

If you’d like to change
the way your life is going
to create something better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

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