Archive for May, 2020

Families Count, too!

May 25, 2020
flag and boys

Jim traced back his family’s military history to the American Revolution and to Europe before then. Continuing with the tradition, his kids are either in military service or married to someone who is.

Military through and through, he was the ideal person for me to ask about a Memorial Day message.

His lightning fast response:

“They also serve who remain behind.”

“Nowadays, the military gets recognition. Slowly, people are recognizing that the families undergo great hardships. They’re in the military, too, but they don’t get paid by the government.”

When Jim was 13 years old, his father, a military advisor, was sent to Saudi Arabia.

“All the manly stuff fell on my shoulders from what to do when the car broke down to family emergencies. It’s traumatic for a family to be on their own while worrying about the safety of a loved one stationed far away.”

“The dandelion is the official flower of the military brat.”

“The seeds of dandelions scatter as the wind blows, and they put down roots wherever they land.

“Military brats are raised with suitcases in both hands.

“In the old days, people were transferred every couple of years.

“In 1951, my parents drove the whole family from West Palm Beach, Florida, to Fairbanks, Alaska. It took 30 days, and much of it was on dirt roads.

“Imagine doing that with a carload of kids.”

The families are unsung heroes.

And Memorial Day is a time of remembrance.

On Memorial Day, you can send a prayer of acknowledgment to all those who take or have taken a stand for liberty so we can enjoy our freedom.

Send a prayer of appreciation to the warriors inspired to serve on the front lines or to help behind the lines in whatever capacity.

Send a prayer to honor those who serve or have served as well as to honor their families who’ve made countless personal and emotional sacrifices while supporting them.

Because of their service, we have greater freedom to pursue our dreams and goals.

We give thanks.


During this time of change, can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with some of the old ways you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously change your life for the better?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary Break-Free Session so you can start fresh, contact me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.  I help them be richly compensated in whatever is meaningful to them by aligning with their Soul’s goals.


Reprinted from May 30, 2016 Archives

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Wonder What Your Future Will Bring?

May 18, 2020

Jekyl hyde

“When you get to be my age, everything scares you,” an 82-year-old told me. “Just watching TV is enough to make you afraid. You’ll see.” Because I’ve heard similar comments over my lifetime of “when you get to be my age” followed by limited thinking, I paused.I noticed how she shared her negativity in a joking way while her attitude depressed and sucked the life out of people around her.

This time instead of reacting, I replied, “I made a decision not to be afraid.”

Silence.

In contrast, I had a delightful conversation with Ms. Belle, a 79-year-old. She commented that looking at the way we’re talking, anyone would think we’re old friends. We met only 20 minutes earlier in a small, neighborhood store.

She told me, “You’ve got to be positive. Life is short.”

She’s amazed at how she meets lovely people wherever she goes, and that there are so many wonderful people in the world.

She goes to the gym and rides a bicycle. One day, she realized that she loves to exercise. She enjoys talking and having fun with others while there, too.

Ms. Belle shared with me the importance of keeping our memory, especially as some people will take advantage of you if you don’t remember things.

Hint: Just like you can make a decision not to be afraid, you can choose to retain your memory, even if you feel it’s not as good as you’d like it to be now. Start by no longer talking about and focusing on how you don’t have a good memory! What you talk about becomes your reality, joking or not.

So much of life and business are about decisions and perspectives.

  • Which attitudes, behaviors and actions of yours (and others) are you willing to tolerate?
  • Do you see people (including you) and life as inherently bad and evil or good?

Your answers will determine your success.

Negativity won’t breed positivity.

You can’t have a happy ending while feeling miserable along the way.

Everyone has beliefs. Many are held onto so dearly that you might feel that if you stopped believing them, you’ll go straight to that inferno down below.

Some beliefs upon which you base your life may be the very ones that are holding you back!

If you allow fear and a habit of complaining to control you, you could find yourself on a slippery slope that doesn’t lead to success or happiness.

Many blame others, blind to connecting the dots of how their own choices and beliefs created their circumstances.

Wonder what your future will bring? It will bear the fruit of your current and past thoughts, feelings and attitudes, as the two above-mentioned women demonstrate.

Your future will bring you the products of your beliefs and thinking just as your present is a reflection of your past ones.

Wonder what your beliefs and thinking have been? Look around you.

You have the power within you to choose to be afraid of your own shadow or to be courageous.

In this moment, you can change the way you feel about you and the mental picture you carry about yourself and your future.

You can decide nothing will stop you from living the life and having the business or work of your dreams, in spite of the odds… regardless of the effects that a pandemic or other circumstances have had on your life.

You see, you’re giving others too much power as you even acknowledge how they make you feel. What you’ve got to decide is how I’m going to feel. We would go to a Virtual Reality and we would practice feeling good. Manifestations come on the heels of what you’ve conjured in thought.

Abraham-Hicks, Excerpted from North Los Angeles, CA on 3/2/02

Think about you on the other side of the pandemic.
Can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with some of the old ways you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously change your life for the better?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary session so
you can start fresh, contact me at

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.  I help them be richly compensated in whatever way is meaningful to them by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Updated from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on October 14, 2017

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls, Being #1 and Challenging Times

May 11, 2020

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

It was a way others could control her. If they could disempower her through feeling guilty, she could kowtow to their ways and do and be what they wanted.

Because she was used to feeling guilty, especially when my client became #1 in her territory, business associates and family triggered those familiar feelings.

She felt that she was doing something wrong by being successful.


Unconsciously, here’s the message others sent: if I make you doubt yourself or feel bad about yourself, I’ll bring you down to a place where your success no longer makes me feel uncomfortable. Who do you think you are? What’s wrong with you? Be more like me… and whine about how life’s unfair.


People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful and making more money than them, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success (she received negative input from others), her sales slipped. A part of her was trying to stop being a target that resulted in guilty feelings.

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their fear and disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, anger, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of a concern of missing calls from prospective customers. Her belief was that working hard is the road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before in childhood, she recalled that her mother and brother had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this coaching session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

There are many ways you can feel imprisoned, especially during a pandemic.

But good things can emerge during challenging times.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

Make the most of this moment. Isolation can give birth to unimaginable heights.


You think you’re challenged? Look at Nelson Mandela’s life (1918 – 2013; passed away at 95):

  • Mandela, as a young lawyer, joined the African National Congress (ANC) in 1944 to advocate for an end to South African apartheid, an oppressive system of government built on racial segregation. 
  • In 1963, he and other cohorts were sentenced to life in prison.
  • He spent 18 years in the cell, seen above, that was 43 square feet.
  • The floor was his bed, and he used a bucket for a toilet.
  • He was forced to do hard labor in a quarry.
  • He was allowed one visitor a year for 30 minutes.
  • He could write and receive one letter every six months.
  • In 1990, having served 27 years in prison, he was released by South African President de Klerk.
  • In 1993, he won the Nobel Peace Prize with de Klerk.
  • Mandela became president of South Africa in 1994.

 

P.S. Know someone who might benefit from this post? Please share.

Think about you on the other side of the pandemic.
Can you see that you’re no longer willing
to put up with the old way you’ve been doing things?
Do you know you can consciously create your life?
If you’d like to learn about a complimentary session so 
you can start fresh, contact me at

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Updated from Soulgoals’ Archives posted on November 6, 2017

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do You Wish Your Life Had Turned Out Differently?

May 4, 2020

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.


 

Why did she stay in a funk for so long?

She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

 


In her egoic mind’s way of limited thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried. “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied drudging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations.

Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when all of them looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

Your interpretation of events determines if you see and experience life as having mostly peaks or mostly valleys.


 

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.

Now each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Regardless, you’re always learning, and that’s progress. (Even if the learning seems to take forever!)


 

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy and actually stops your forward movement.

Regret is like being on a train that’s going in the wrong direction. In an attempt to compensate, you walk down the aisle of the train in the direction from which the train has just come. No matter how fast you walk, you’ll never get closer to where you want to go.

 


Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced many of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was a turning point. That time was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love – in relationships, health, finances and life! 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I erroneously thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

What’s your next chapter?

 

Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

Reprinted from Soulgoals Archives posted August 7, 2017.

Would you feel relieved to get support creating your next chapters to be your best ever? Curious how this could possibly happen to you, especially considering what your life is and has been? Don’t let more years go by. Contact me to learn more about a free Soulgoals Break-free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

www.soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.