Do You REALLY Want What You Think You Want?

 

Want water or a mirage?

 

 

A woman, at a presentation I gave, told me how she was dreading an upcoming holiday.

She and her husband would soon divorce, and he would be with another woman, not with her and the children.

I inquired about their past, holiday celebrations. Were they fun, heart-warming, family times?

Oh no. Those were never happy times. He was usually drunk, and since she became sober, the two of them were even more distant.

What she wanted so dearly wasn’t that man during the holiday but a loving, family gathering.

Yet, she mourned the idea of not spending the holiday together — a lovely idea that didn’t exist at the best of times.

After a brief discussion, she was able to let go of her faulty idea that she’d be missing a wonderful, family experience, one they never had.

When she put this in perspective, her suffering stopped.

Later while in my Resolved for Results program, she was able to see more clearly.

Instead of the misery she felt previously, she became happily divorced. She realized she didn’t want a broken family with a person who had neither the interest nor ability to be part of a loving family.

In its place, she designed her ideal, family situation… and manifested it!

Sometimes we get an image of what we think we want and try to superimpose it on a current situation; we try to make it work — even though what’s happening doesn’t match up with what we REALLY want.

Same is true in relationships and business– people fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person or livelihood.

How can you know what you really want?

In Resolved for Results, I make the distinction this way:

“The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t.”

Mirages are illusions that look real but ultimately are unfulfilling. They only will frustrate and disappoint when you get closer to them and see them for what they are.

A definition of mirage is something that appears real or possible but in fact isn’t actually so.

Often people chase mirages because they convince themselves they’re the real deal. Mirages look like water. They need and want water. So it’s water.

It reminds me of a woman who laughingly commented on her marriage. Prince Charming became Prince Alarming.

People see what they want to see. Most are happy with their illusions until they get close enough to see that the water was just a mirage.

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Here’s why this is good news:

• You can more clearly discern what you really want when you see what you don’t want,
• You can change emotional habits, such as feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, frustrated, worried, or being down on yourself or others about what’s not working. Habits and beliefs are just patterns of thoughts and feelings that can shift.
• You can train your mind to focus on what you really want instead of being fixated on what you don’t want.
• You can learn how to trust yourself and use your feelings as a GPS.
• You can enhance your practice of gratitude. (A footnote to my last post on continuous gratitude. I’ve been practicing this for a while, although I slip in and out of this habit. When I focus on continuous gratitude, no matter what, things always work out!)

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You have power in your clarity.

Even if you realize that what you thought you wanted is out of alignment with what you really want, you can now redirect your focus. Because of your new focus, you can manifest something better than you ever imagined!

By the way, if you reach the conclusion that you’re wrong, you screwed up and think beating yourself up will whip you back in shape, think again.

This thinking is a mirage.

Life is designed as a learning experience, which aids your growth. It’s not created with the purpose of disapproving of you. So don’t should on yourself.

It’s all good, including you!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love, and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest.

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.

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Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.– Melodie Beattie

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When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude. –  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]  

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Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks! – Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.2

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[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has. – Matthew 13:12, American King James Version 

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[Look how similar this is.]

If you are grateful, I will give you more.  –  The Koran 14:7

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[Don’t wait for one day of the year to be grateful.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you… 

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously. – Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

 

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What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?

During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude, it’s living in a state of gratitude – continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously. 

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude. When I’ve practiced it, though, my life continues to improve.

However, when I catch myself straying into the hinterlands, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful instead.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Who Do You Believe More – You or Others?

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.

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If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.

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Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.

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Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.

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Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.