Archive for the ‘Judgment’ Category

Do You Wish Things Had Turned Out Differently?

August 7, 2017

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

Why did she stay in a funk for so long? She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

In her ego’s way of thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried.  “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied dredging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations. Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being not good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when each looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.


Now, each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Your interpretation of them determines if you see these as mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy.

Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced one of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love. 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.P.S. All stories are shared after having received permission. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Fly with the Eagles and Don’t Let the Turkeys Get You Down

July 31, 2017

 

You’re feeling great and in the flow. You can do it. This is your time. Nobody can stop you… until some turkeys start pecking away at you, and you want to run.

Experiencing this way too often, and although she’s at the top of her business, competent and relatively young, my client told me that she couldn’t stop focusing on retirement.

She felt that she could no longer handle the stress created from customers’ unrealistic demands and exhausting herself to get them to see reason.

During her Soulgoals session, she realized that she was attracting people who brought out a quality in her that was like her father – being judgmental. People weren’t acting the way she thought they should.

As like attracts like, she was magnetizing people who would bug her so that she could be “justifiably” judgmental.

To counterbalance her father’s inflexible attitude, she played the role of the peacemaker throughout her life. Now that he’s passed and she’s tired of “battling,” she thought those days were over.

However, his judgmental attitude was still alive inside her because she absorbed his energy, and she continued to attract people that required her to be the peacemaker.

She connected the dots and saw that unless she made inner changes, these patterns would follow her wherever she went – even into retirement.

She was on the verge of letting go of a great career instead of letting go of the unwanted energy she harbored within. It was time to stop blaming others and her business as they weren’t the problem.

Done with attracting challenging people who were like her father, she decided to release her judgmental energy and change her perspective.

“I don’t want to put up with other people’s stuff… my big insight is that if you leave, you’re not going to get away from your issues. Deal with it through journaling.”


Another client found herself consistently attracting unqualified clients.

One got nastily irate when she told him that his application didn’t go through.  Although she quickly let him go as a client, she knew she had to change her focus to stop attracting turkeys.

Whatever is focused upon grows.

In the past, she complained about how many applicants didn’t qualify, so she kept having more applicants who didn’t qualify.

Now, she focuses her attention on having great applicants who both qualify and purchase her high end products, all with grace and ease.

Her new perspective is working.

Are there the same (annoying) types of people or circumstances showing up in your life again and again?

Journal about how you feel when the turkeys get you down.

  • Does how you feel remind you of people from your past?
  • When you notice the patterns, choose to let them go.
  • Replace them with a new perspective.
  • After, refocus on your wonderful dreams and goals instead of what you don’t want.

It’s time to soar with the eagles. You deserve it.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.S. All stories about my clients’ experiences are shared after having received their permission in advance. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Is God Doing This to You?

April 27, 2017

Laughing Buddha (2)

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Do you believe it’s justifiable, then, for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

______________________________

A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.

______________________________

By this statement, she expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

____________________________

How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions?
Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
Find your anchor inside of you.
Breathe.
Detach from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
How does something feel – good or not so much?
Then make decisions and take action.
This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

______________________________

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

It goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who’s beating themselves up? They might appreciate you sharing this post with them.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Miracles Happen – In Your Life, Too!

November 23, 2016

rio-2

 

“Miracles can happen always.”

That’s what a nine-year-old said after he ran to catch his nearly 30# baby brother who fell more than four feet from a changing table.

Joseph thought he was aided by divine intervention.

“I would have never caught him, and I can’t run that fast. So I felt like something came and just pushed me forward, and when that happened, I just ran and caught him.”

The moments-long miracle was caught on their security camera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spWDYJSXRs

The mother, who turned away only briefly, changed her perspective from what she did wrong to what she did right.

“I was just getting everyone ready for bed. I was home alone with the five kids, and at first I said, ‘I messed up. I did something wrong.’ But then I realized that, really, it was a miracle. I must have done something right to have been deserving of this little guy, running in at the right time and catching him at the right moment.”

Lesson 5 of my Resolved for Results program says this about miracles:

What is a miracle? A miracle is a positive outcome that you didn’t anticipate. It’s when you have no idea how things can work out, and then they do. It’s when results defy logic, and the impossible occurs. It’s when you’re touched by grace.

Miracles compel you to expand your consciousness and go beyond what you think is possible. They are reminders to trust in a friendly and supportive universe that assists you to create your life of choice.

Miracles come in all sizes.

A client and her daughter had ongoing conflicts between themselves.

While coaching, she realized that the fear and judgment she had about her daughter was alienating her.

In the past, she was more of the disciplinarian because she thought that was the best parenting style.

Now, she changed her perspective and approach.

She had an idea to text each of her two adult children separately and tell them how much she appreciates them as well as note their wonderful qualities.

“I love you. You are great. I’m grateful you’re alive…”

She realized that almost all of her fear about “what if” certain things happened to her children weren’t based on anything other than the negativity and drama in her head.

She also gave consideration to her reply when people ask, “How are you?”

Instead of good or fine, automatic responses that people mindlessly give as well as the way they robotically feel about themselves, she decided to say, “I am grateful.”

To change her lifelong habit of how she had been relating to her children, and to feel their positive responses, is a miracle.

We discussed a goal to highlight her intentions.

She doesn’t cook, and throughout her life she was a perfectionist who got anxious if things didn’t go just right.

Yet she longed to have a family dinner.

So we came up with a way for her to create one.

This morning, I received her email.

“I want to let you know that we had a great time last Friday. (She described the food everyone made.) It was a very festive dinner, and I didn’t even get uptight!

“Thank you for guiding me. I am breathing in divine flow and let out judgements and fears to get myself back on track.”

Your TIP, is to open to miracles happening in your life.

Imagine the iconic statue that overlooks Rio de Janeiro, the one found in the above photo, as representing an idea, regardless of your religion.

This omnipotent, omniscient, unconditionally loving and divine presence is watching out for you 24/7.

To experience miracles is to be willing to let go of your problems and worries and allow  yourself to receive something better.

Watch for the miracles in your life. They may be big or small.

Nothing is impossible.

You can receive what you choose or something better.

Happy, Miracle-full Thanksgiving. Happy giving thanks!

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: My First Drag Show

July 5, 2016

IMG_3494

 

I didn’t know what to expect at my first drag show. What I found were three women who love entertaining and what they do while letting the audience join in on the fun.

What a weekend to be free to be yourself as the USA celebrated our national Independence Day of freedom.

Freedom for what? Freedom to enjoy barbecues. Freedom to do whatever we want as long as we’re not interfering with others. Freedom of speech. Freedom to be who we are – whatever that means.

Freedom to express ourselves.

Some feel you should have freedom so you can think they way they do, but that’s not true freedom.

While watching the show, I thought about how these who were men at birth considered their gender identity and made a decision. They chose to align their outer lives with what they felt within.

Imagine that. Living true to you. Doing what you love instead of what’s expected or feeling stuck.

These women found freedom from judgments, the risk of disappointing others and what some feel they should be.

They do what it takes to be in alignment with themselves in spite of the inconvenience and expense of surgery, hormone injections and more.

They stopped hiding and instead revel in their difference – even capitalize on it.

If they can live true to themselves and their dreams, why not you?

If they can overcome society’s opinions and turn it into an art form, what’s stopping you?

What’s holding you back from really expressing yourself and your gifts?

Why not really show up for who you are, shine and play big?

What excuse is so big that you can’t find a way?

Some hold back, question themselves, play weak, and hesitate when opportunities to break free present themselves.

Some come up with seemingly logical reasons (busy schedules, money, family, health, not the right time) why they can’t move forward on living their dreams. Because they buy into their stories, they think others believe their limited beliefs, too. But they’re just keeping themselves back from greater freedom.

Some are afraid of living, really living life to the fullest, and don’t believe in themselves and that they can do it.

Some are afraid of possible pain and discouragement – projecting the past onto the future.

Others are afraid of getting hurt, rejected or exhausted from trying – what if one more thing doesn’t work?

This is how the ego works – it tricks you into thinking you’re playing it safe by keeping you in status quo or worse – sliding backwards.

You are much greater than this. You have everything it takes to tune into who you are, share your gifts with the world and be richly compensated doing what you love.

Your TIP is to express yourself with no limit and live your destiny, not someone else’s, NOW.

You can make a decision to be alive and awake in this moment – not live in past regrets or fear of the future.

You can make a decision to take action now and not put off your freedom to be the greatest you that you can be.

You can decide there’s no better time to do what you love rather than put it off for some better time that never comes.

Or if it does, you find another excuse to put it off.

You can make a stand for YOU to express the you that’s been hiding out. You can do what you love and let go of the seemingly rational excuses and procrastination that keep you stuck.

You can tap into your courage with confidence and claim your freedom to express who you are and live your dreams.

You do have a choice.

There’s no better time than now.

Happy freedom and independence to you.

TIP: 1 Simple Step for Your Dreams to Come True

January 18, 2016

two roads convergingBefore looking at why we have a habit of complicating the uncomplicated, let’s start with the punch line.

The way to get what you want is to feel good on the inside, as if you’re already living your dream. Then, because like attracts like, you’re an energetic match for what you choose.

Your dream and your life come together as one, like two roads converging.

Vision + Feeling = Dreams Come True

Not hardly? Here’s how best intentions end up looking like gremlins sneaked up on your life while you were sleeping and created havoc.

Let’s say, you aren’t as far along as you think you should be.

You did all the “right” things which shoulda given you a bag of treats with a smiley face, but it’s looking more like a bag of tricks.

Or maybe you really screwed up. The damage is done. Plus, you can’t forgive yourself.

Or maybe you’re at such and such an age. By now, you think you should’ve accomplished certain goals – financial, career, relationship, health, personal – it really doesn’t matter why you’ve been shoulding on yourself.

So, on one side, you have your coulda woulda shouldas. You’ve been beating yourself up about them, too.

On the other are your dreams.

Here’s where your inner gremlin creates mischief.

It’s essential to believe in yourself living your dreams, without vacillating between what if you could actually have them and fretting about what if it you don’t.

If your focus is on your so-called reality, you’ll create more of your reality. If you’re aware of your current conditions, but remain steadfast on the feeling of living your dream, your point of attraction will shift in that direction. Inspired action follows. What you focus on grows.

You are creating your “reality” through how you react to people and circumstances, the choices you make, and how you think and feel.

Martin Luther King claimed his dream in his famous speech. It was spoken in present time as if it already happened:

 I have a dream today!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

TIP: 1 Simple Step for Your Dreams to Come True

Ask yourself what you do you really, really want?

Sink into the feeling as if you already are living it. This will feel comforting and happy.

You’ll feel bad if you start judging yourself because you’re not there. Refocus. You have the ability to be in control of your feelings. It’s just a habit to believe otherwise. Now, don’t judge yourself for having that habit. Everyone does to a point. It just takes practice to shift your attention.

Your Essence is pure, positive energy. Ask for help from your Wise Self. That’s the real YOU.

YOU are always, always here for the asking.

You know when you’re connected when you have good feeling mojo.

The more you allow your vision and your feelings to merge as One, the more you allow yourself to feel comforted and pleased and happy with the feeling of living your dream, the more quickly you’ll see results.

If you commiserate with others about how things aren’t working, don’t share your precious dreams. You’ll have faster results if you surround yourself with positive, supportive people, like those on a mastermind team.

Feel it now to live it. The one simple step for your dreams to come true.

It’s About Peace, My Friend

December 22, 2015

peace - let there beDuring one of my most challenging times, when things went from bad to worse, the pain became unbearable.

A quiet voice within asked why I was upset. Well, I thought, look at my life. Each crisis flashed before me, and I felt justified drowning in my anguish.

Yes, came the voice again, but why are you upset?  Because, I argued, I don’t like any of this, and I want things to be different.

Then, I realized the pain wasn’t caused by my circumstances. My suffering was because I wanted. I wanted things to change.

Wanting comes from lack. What we don’t have. Never enough. My wanting created unimaginable hurt.

Like magnetic fields, we can’t have and want at the same time because they’re opposing energies. Positive and negative fields repel each other.

The moment I switched from wanting to remembering I have all my needs within, my torment stopped.

Looking to others and circumstances, while wanting approval, love, security, empowerment or validation, drives us to beat ourselves up and feel like a nobody.

When quiet and at peace, answers come.

When there’s recognition of having, we don’t need to seek safety from an outside source.

We’re not safe when we focus on fear.  As like attracts like, that’s how we become a magnet to be terrorized and a victim.

No person or group, no client or job, no house or amount of money holds our security. God is the Source of our supply. If something doesn’t work, something better will, especially if we allow it and are open to believe it can.

As we clear the energy of lack and replace it with what we choose, positive results follow.

We can be safe, in the right place, at the right time.

If we think we won’t be, we won’t. If we wonder what if we’re not, we probably won’t be. If we’re basically positive but wonder what if things don’t work out, they may not. If we allow ourselves to be afraid because of what others might think, say or do, we’ve given control to others.

If a lock on the door is a good idea, install a lock. Creating a drama or fear about what might occur if there isn’t a lock doesn’t help – unless this type of attention or emotions it creates is the actual desired outcome.

If we believe everything always works out, get ready for miracles and abundance!

Christmas is a time of love and celebration.

This is your opportunity to go beyond lip service and be the change. Demonstrate peace and goodwill toward men. Not just the ones you like. Or those who look or act or believe like you.

Regardless of your spiritual beliefs, these quotes from the King James Bible offer wisdom:

“Judge not, that ye be not judged.”
“For unto us a child is born… and his name shall be called …The Prince of Peace.”
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.”
“Then said Jesus to them again, Peace be unto you: as my Father has sent me, even so send I you.”  

TIP: It’s About Peace, My Friend

Much of the world is lost in wanting and creating conflict over what they perceive they don’t have. You can be a bringer of peace.

Let there be peace on earth, let it begin with you.

When you feel anxiety, ask yourself what you’re wanting.

The perfect gift? You’re more likely to find it if you’re relaxed.

Getting the house in order or landing a business deal? If you have good feeling mojo, you’ll spread holiday cheer to your guests or clients – and they’ll feel better around you.

Want more business or money? When you’re emotionally calm, you’re more receptive to ideas that will bring you both. Or, they’ll be drawn to you like Santa Claus to cookies.

Choose peace over wanting approval and love, wanting security, wanting control.

Let go of wanting approval and love so you can have approval and love.

Let go of wanting to be safe and secure to realize you already are. It can’t be given to you.

Let go of the need to defend. Take action to take care of yourself; the rant of fear gets in the way of effectiveness.

Let go of wanting control. Nobody can give it to you. You already have it.

Make peace your highest priority, and experience greater success.

Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season to you!

May peace be unto you, my friend.

 

 

NEED BUSINESS? MORE MONEY? – PART 1

June 2, 2011

41 ½ hours after her second group mastermind meeting, a health practitioner emailed me this : “Thanks to Masterminding and the power of positive thinking, my Friday turned from no treatments scheduled to 5 clients” 

“I’ve also had 4 new clients schedule appointments… all 4 scheduled in the past 2 days…so close to our Masterminding session that even Doubting Thomas couldn’t fail to see the connection.  My deepest gratitude for your commitment to getting this message out, Virginia.” 

Her wish is her command. So is yours.

Sounds great, but how can you do it? 

Masterminding is so powerful that it’s easy to believe on a very deep level you can receive what you choose – and you manifest what you believe. 

Manifesting is like gardening. The first step is to prepare the soil so the garden of your thoughts bears fruit, not dandelions. 

Everything is given according to your belief.

You may have heard the expression, if you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you assuredly won’t.

Many immigrants came to America believing this is the land of opportunity. With little to start with, they created thriving businesses and success. They decided on a direction, believed they could succeed, took action and reaped the rewards. In spite of hardships, grieving the loss of loved ones, often arriving with little more than what they wore and being strangers in a strange land, their belief and determination allowed them to triumph. 

Sherri Geng, a Chinese immigrant and finalist in the 2005 Intel Science Talent Search, wrote this in a BusinessWeek article: 

“It is hard not to notice the disproportionate number of immigrant success stories in America. All across the world, America is considered the land of opportunity, and so it should not be surprising that the immigrants who do get here end up being uncommonly successful: They are the ones who fought the hardest, stared down the most competition, were driven by the fiercest pangs of hunger.” 

Has your life been difficult?

You learned from your challenges as others did from theirs. Those who survived a tsunami learned to go to higher ground. One woman who didn’t make it, for example, picked up her children at school. She tried to return home through a valley instead of immediately heading to higher and safe ground.

You survived circumstances in your life and are reading this. That makes you a survivor and consciously awake to improving yourself. Congratulations!

We’ll skip the judging part where you think you should be doing more, should have more, should be more. I invite you to stop “shoulding” on yourself and pause to drink in that you’re good enough as is right now.

Breathe. Relax. Ahhhh. 

Count Your Blessings 

Now consider your choices. You can focus on your hardships and licking your wounds or you can use the precious lessons you learned as stepping stones to a better life.

Maybe your life is awesome in some ways but really sucks in others. So, revel in what’s working and know you allowed your wonderful creation into existence. 

Be confident that if you like anything in your life, even if it’s teensy weensy, you can translate this goodness to create more.

If you can’t find anything, look again. It’s unquestionably there.

If actor Michael J. Fox, who was at the top of his game, can be grateful for having Parkinson’s disease because of the authenticity it brought him, what can you be grateful for? 

A positive attitude synchronizes you with a frequency of energy necessary to manifest. 

How can you align with energy that produces fruit instead of dandelions?

Writing a daily gratitude list is a simple way to focus on your blessings. It tills and fertilizes your soil of thoughts and feelings so you create a bountiful harvest. 

Don’t want to bother writing? You can think about these, but after a couple of days you may forget and slip back into focusing on what you don’t want and like. Plus, when you write about what’s working, your thoughts and feelings shift.

If you’re serious about creating more business, money or anything else, take the time to write what you’re grateful for. When you refocus and allow your heart to have fun and open, miracles happen. 

For 30 days, write five or more things you’re grateful for in a journal.

Experiment and demonstrate the results to yourself. If you like what you see, make it a habit to continue. Made your list before? You can write new ones.

By doing so, you’ll change the negative story that the irritating voice in your head has been mouthing off about. By doing so, you alter your perspective and open to receive greater good. 

Life is always poised to bring you what you choose or something better. Be willing to receive miracles. 

You’ve prepared the soil for seeds of success to manifest by:

  1. Weeding out stinkin’ thinkin’ so you can have healin’ feelins’.
  2. Fertilizing with a positive attitude of belief and gratitude.

Part 2 will offer you tools to plant the seeds, mastermind and reap your harvest.

STOP GIVING YOUR POWER AWAY & LIVE YOUR DREAMS

May 19, 2011

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras. Translated: who you are isn’t good enough. A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates the voice that chatters in the back of your head.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.” Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. If you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll never be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

  • Trying to please others and being worried about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
  • Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
  • Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
  • Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
  • Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
  • Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE. 

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you: 

  1. Go within and ask your question.
  2. Listen and write your answers.
  3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
  4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning