Archive for the ‘Judgment’ Category

Are You Jumping to the Right Conclusion?

August 24, 2020

 

After sitting through a couple of traffic lights behind a car that wouldn’t budge, my friend got very annoyed.

He thought, what’s wrong with these people along with several choice expletives.

Finally, he angrily swerved around to get in the lane next to them. In the car was a man and a child in the passenger seat.

As my friend turned to the driver to give him a piece of his mind, the man asked, “Which way to the hospital? I have to take my child to the hospital, and I don’t know if I need to turn right or left.”

With this new information and perspective, his annoyance instantly left. He became fully engaged in helping.

Recently, a woman explained how she was quite bothered by something I’d said. She felt upset for months, since we had our last conversation. When we finally talked again, she told me that she didn’t know how I could’ve said such a thing and made analogies all pointing to why she should be indignant.

She assumed the story she was telling herself was correct, and therefore she was justifiably angry with me.  

A couple of minutes into her explanation, when I realized she had totally misinterpreted the point I was making, I clarified what I had said. Very quickly, the story and irritation at me that she’d been holding onto for so long evaporated.

I suggested that, in the future, she talk with me if she had an issue rather than jump to conclusions.

If you find yourself upset about something and jumping to conclusions, take a step back and observe. Is this a one-time or ongoing occurrence? Might there be a different way of connecting the dots? There may be a different way of handling this.

Perhaps there’s a lesson for you to learn. Maybe there’s a different story you can tell about it and discover a new conclusion.

Are you using or misusing your imagination?

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archives, February 4, 2019

Ready to find clarity and discover
how you can jump to the conclusion
that you can get what you really want…
or something better?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Is God Doing This To You?

April 13, 2020

During these challenging times, when you’re forced to listen to your thoughts more than usual – what are they telling you?

Do you think you or humanity is being punished by God? Maybe God is laughing at you, at us?

Are you frightened during the night or in private moments about what you hear inside your head? What if the worse happens?

Do you feel depressed, anxious, angry, alone, bored, scared or any number of other sad emotions?

Why is this happening?

The late, fascinating Stuart Wilde wrote about another way of looking at moments, like what we’re experiencing, in his book The Trick to Money is Having Some:

“The great upheavals of the world are just self-transformational seminars which a lot of very unconscious people are forced to attend so that they look at their lives under pressure.

If you don’t change, reality in the end forces that change upon you. But the ego/personality hates change…”

“To me the quintessence of freedom is feeling not a circumstance. If you rely on circumstance to grant you freedom, it is unlikely that you will ever achieve it. For circumstances constantly change and the very nature of your seeking freedom in things outside of yourself creates the impossibility of it in your heart.”


Maybe you doubt yourself.

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Therefore, do you believe it’s justifiable for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, you might think that an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

This isn’t true!


A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.


By this statement, she then expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? To be afraid of what life throws at them? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

Mother/Father God, the universe, or however you view this loving Source energy, cares and supports you in the same way.

Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself! You can get through this.


How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions, especially now?

Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
 

  • Find your anchor of calm within; it’s there.
  • Breathe.
  • Detach emotionally from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
  • How does something feel – good or not so much? Feeling good is a positive indicator. 
  • Then make decisions, and take action.
  • This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
  • It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
  • The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

 


My Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

This Soulgoals’ lesson goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

Trust you can get through these times. Trust your inner spirit to guide you.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who might appreciate this post? Please share.

This is reprinted with updates from Soulgoals’ Archives, posted April 27, 2017.

If you’d like support or clarity of vision, contact me to find out how. I offer complimentary Break-Free sessions.

Contact me: virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Miracles Can Happen – Always

November 25, 2019

 

“Miracles can happen always.”

That’s what a nine-year-old said after he ran to catch his nearly 30# baby brother who fell more than four feet from a changing table.

Joseph thought he was aided by divine intervention.

“I would have never caught him, and I can’t run that fast. So I felt like something came and just pushed me forward, and when that happened, I just ran and caught him.”

The moments-long miracle was caught on their security camera:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spWDYJSXRs

The mother, who turned away only briefly, changed her perspective from what she did wrong to what she did right.

“I was just getting everyone ready for bed. I was home alone with the five kids, and at first I said, ‘I messed up. I did something wrong.’ But then I realized that, really, it was a miracle. I must have done something right to have been deserving of this little guy, running in at the right time and catching him at the right moment.”

Lesson 5 of my Soulgoals program says this about miracles:

What is a miracle? A miracle is a positive outcome that you didn’t anticipate. It’s when you have no idea how things can work out, and then they do. It’s when results defy logic, and the impossible occurs. It’s when you’re touched by grace.

Miracles compel you to expand your consciousness and go beyond what you think is possible. They are reminders to trust in a friendly and supportive universe that assists you to create your life of choice.

Miracles come in all sizes.

A client and her daughter had ongoing conflicts between themselves.

While coaching, she realized that the fear and judgment she had about her daughter was alienating her.

In the past, she was more of the disciplinarian because she thought that was the best parenting style.

Now, she changed her perspective and approach.

She had an idea to text each of her two adult children separately and tell them how much she appreciates them as well as note their wonderful qualities.

“I love you. You are great. I’m grateful you’re alive…”

She realized that almost all of her fear about “what if” certain things happened to her children weren’t based on anything other than the negativity and drama in her head.

She also gave consideration to her reply when people ask, “How are you?”

Instead of good or fine, automatic responses that people mindlessly give as well as the way they robotically feel about themselves, she decided to say, “I am grateful.”

To change her lifelong habit of how she had been relating to her children, and to feel their positive responses, is a miracle.

We discussed a goal to highlight her intentions.

She doesn’t cook, and throughout her life she was a perfectionist who got anxious if things didn’t go just right.

Yet she longed to have a family dinner.

So we came up with a way for her to create one.

This morning, I received her email.

“I want to let you know that we had a great time last Friday. (She described the food everyone made.) It was a very festive dinner, and I didn’t even get uptight!

“Thank you for guiding me. I am breathing in divine flow and letting out judgments and fears to get myself back on track.”

Your TIP is to open to miracles happening in your life.

To experience miracles is to be willing to let go of your problems and worries and allow  yourself to receive something better.

Watch for the miracles in your life. They may be big or small.

Nothing is impossible.

You can receive what you choose or something better.

Happy, Miracle-full Thanksgiving. Happy giving thanks!

 

Reprinted from November 23, 2016
I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For information on a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

October 21, 2019

Have you ever had a deadline or goal but felt stuck and simply couldn’t take action? Maybe you were “shoulding” on yourself and immobilized from your mental tyranny.

In August 2001, every day for two weeks, I sat in front of my computer to write a seminar…and not one word came. Nothing.

I put so much pressure on myself that I stifled any creativity to write.

Eventually, I listened to what I was telling myself: I should’ve already done this, and I should’ve done it years ago.

I made peace with the situation by shifting my perspective from feeling “resistance is futile” to: I am where I am, and from here I will start.

Over the next four months I wrote a 60-page workbook… and then, because it became so big, I didn’t know what to do with it. After all of that work, it sat on a pile.

Fast forward seven years. I remembered the workbook when I discovered I didn’t like a manual for a four-day retreat I was to facilitate. Oh, did I mention it was less than a week away?

The workbook was a key for breakthroughs and fun throughout the event and saved me from being in another writing rut.

Retreat Workbook

TIP: Stop shoulding on yourself. Self-judgment holds you back. Like it or not, this is where you are, so make peace within by allowing you to be in the present moment.

When you accept yourself and your circumstance, you let go of the shoulds, pressure and negative self-talk.  Then any small step will get you started. When this happens, you get out of your rut and pave the way for momentum.

This is a reprint from July 2010

If you’d like support
to stop judging,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

 

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

iT waz oNe of tHOse Dayz… and I Feel Great Anyway!

January 14, 2019

I’ve given countless workshops, but I never had more enthusiasm than I had while putting the one together last week. In addition to preparing for the workshop, I lovingly made food for nine people, cleaned and decided it was time for several house upgrades, etc., etc.

The night before the workshop, I awoke way early with less than two hours of sleep, but I didn’t feel tired.

I LOVED the workshop on Saturday, had an essential time out on Sunday and then Monday I jumped right into a full schedule.

Apparently because of all my activity, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and things got wonky.

Usually, I write this blog in advance, with a couple of days to edit and mail it to my list a little after 7 AM.

I didn’t get up until 7:30 and had no writing done at all.

A rough draft came together, and I edited between coaching sessions… only to discover after I mailed it that I completely wrote the wrong last name of a dear client.

The client in my first session had a brilliant insight that was so good I was going to write a blog about it. I mean, it even mirrored what I was learning last year. I carefully wordsmithed her ideas as she talked and wrote them down. At the end of her session, I hurried off the phone because of a scheduled call, a woman who’s always on time.

No call came.

Nonetheless, I was in my rush to send the client’s notes from the first session to her. I mixed up her last month’s and this month’s files I was closing and didn’t save her current one. All those wonderful ideas I carefully crafted for her and my future writing — poof! Gone.

While waiting for the call that was very late, another client called to reschedule. We did that, and then I commented about an experience that was happening to him. I soon realized I had been talking to myself. I don’t know if my phone disconnected or his. I called back and got his voicemail.

The woman who was supposed to call me got the time zones mixed up. We had a great conversation. We were starting to talk about her registering for my program when her baby did what babies do after they eat… everywhere. Yes, let’s talk another day.

And so the day continued to go.

However, what interested me throughout the day is the way I felt.

It’s probably a combination of getting tired of years of reacting to a lifetime of crazies and, as a consequence, what I’ve learned about being in present time, that I didn’t trigger an emotional OMG response to any of these.

Add to that the weekend workshop where we were aligning with a higher level of focus, and this was definitely small stuff.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t register that I should be upset or feel self-judgment. I was quite familiar with how those felt having mastered those responses in my past. Instead, I cleaned up the missteps and moved on.

I could’ve been sunning or watching a movie or going to the dentist.

Emotionally, it felt all the same. No charge but interesting to observe. Clean it up and go on to the next thing. I later realized how the missteps were piling up, and I needed a break because I was leaving behind an atypical pile of weirdness.

I felt that I’d been riding a large wave that came to shore, and what a ride it was. However, there were signs it was time to take a breather. Simultaneously, I was able to rearrange my schedule to take a few days for myself.

I know there are things you think you screwed up or aren’t working like you thought they would. Maybe they’re things that didn’t come out right when you said or did them. Some may be big whoppers.

Today you can start fresh. The crazy stuff will one day be a distant memory. No reason to self-flagellate. Realign your energy: be kind, learn and it’s called Next.

If life is working as you imagined, enjoy it guilt-free. You deserve it.

You’re really doing all right. You’re becoming aware of new things. Life moves on, and so can you.

You have a choice. Suffer and make it hard on yourself or choose to live your life with grace and ease.

Hint: the latter takes a load off your shoulders.

With all the missteps I made, I felt better making a decision to take a time out and regroup.

Getting upset is optional and doesn’t help anything.

How can you take a time out for yourself to gain perspective, even if it’s just to take a pause in your own thinking?

 

Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Decide that this is your year!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are We There Yet? (Stop Waiting for Things to Get Better.)

May 14, 2018

past present future

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls. But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes by Eckhart Tolle that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.


“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”


Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

This Is How the Universe Hears You & Why You Get (or Don’t Get) What You Want!

December 11, 2017

 

disapprove man

How would you feel if someone felt this way about you? The same thing happens to your energy when you feel this way about yourself.

 

A client told me how she was able to manifest small things during a coaching session last week. However, when it came to her business, she wasn’t closing people on her offers.

She had big programs and small ones. Lately, she just wasn’t successful in selling anything. Several times during her session, she was hard on herself because things went wrong.

“Why did I attract people who don’t have money? Even if they have the money and need what I do (and she does it well), they don’t get back with me. What am I doing wrong?”

Despite her positive sounding words, she communicated a non-verbal message that there’s something wrong with her.

People aren’t as attracted to people who don’t feel good about themselves, unless it mirrors how they feel about themselves or their opinion of you. It often brings up guilt, blame and shame.

When I pointed out how she consistently was judging herself, she told me, “I had critical parents and never got compliments from them. Now I feel that if I can’t do things perfectly, there’s something wrong with me.”

Have you ever felt like her or questioned yourself in a condemning way, too?

“I’m building that muscle of approving of myself, but my habit of doing the opposite has been stronger.”

As like attracts like, the only thing that happens when you’re negative is that you attract more negativity.

That puts you in an energetic conundrum because the more you feel good, the more success you attract. When you don’t feel good, your energy attracts more things that keep you from feeling good. This includes business, money, health, weight, people and your happiness.

Disapproving of yourself doesn’t feel good. Even if it momentarily motivates you to action, success won’t last because there’s negative energy at its foundation.

The universe and others “hear” your disapproval energy, and they give you back more of the same — more things to disapprove of.

The energy of disapproving of yourself, others and situations is why you get (or don’t get) what you want! The more you let go of disapproval energy, the more you’ll attract your cherished goals. What a sacrifice. To get what you really want, you have to feel good about yourself!

Right after our session, my client had two consultations to present her offers. She emailed me this after she talked with them:

I had two prospects back to back after I talked to you, and both took my BIG packages!!

Yay!

You’re a miracle worker, Virginia.

I’m grateful she gave me permission to share her story with you.

 

My last post was titled “What Do People Hear You Say When You’re Not Talking?” What they “hear” is the energy you transmit.

Dogs sense energy, such as fear. People sense energy, too. A reason why first impressions are quick is that it takes a fraction of a second for people to read your energy.

People hear you disapproving or approving of yourself even when you don’t speak or say all the right words.

Experiment with approving of yourself. And what a price you’ll pay for doing it. You’ll feel good!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

“I Honestly Didn’t Think I’d Ever… Be Happy.”

October 16, 2017

 

Depressed icelandic sculpture (2)

Sad Statue in Reykjavik, Iceland

 

“I think Virginia has met the person she can’t help,” confessed my client about her previous thoughts. However, feeling better than the dark pit she’d been in for years, she decided to take my Resolved for Results program a second time.

At 60-years-old, she told me she was “habitually, genetically, psychologically, emotionally and medically depressed.” 

For over ten years, she was “flatlined, checked out and not showing much interest in anything.” Add to that traits she learned during her childhood from an emotionally unstable parent: judgmental and overly critical of others and herself.

We met at a gym many years earlier. She recalled that I was friendly towards her and did some kind of work about career and business. She thought about contacting me but never did.

Just before her divorce from a 27-year marriage and leaving the house she helped to design and build, she reached out for help.

“I had to do something different. I had to trust someone because my voice, what I had been telling myself, wasn’t reliable.”

This was a world away from who she was at 16-years-old.

As a teenager, she was an apprentice to an artist from whom she received extensive lessons and even traveled with this man and his family. Visiting them every summer in Santa Fe, they became another set of parents to her for seven years.

It was during their trip to Mexico that he developed his distinctive style that catapulted him to become a world-famous artist whose work is now displayed in the Smithsonian.

Eventually, they went their separate ways.

My client married a good man and joined him to create a successful, construction business.  She believed she “should” have been happy, yet she spiraled down into an ever-deepening depression.

She beat herself up heavily for this, wondering what was wrong with her.

Used to blaming herself, she didn’t realize her self-proclaimed fault wasn’t the reason for how she felt.

Not doing what she loved was at the core of her depression.

She talked herself into believing this didn’t matter, yet she now sees that “this was the key to my soul!”

How she went from “the dark side” to the light.

My client began to experience feeling up and then returned to her familiar down periods. As she learned new tools and perspectives, she was able to sustain feeling good for longer periods of time.

Yet, she didn’t trust feeling light because it was different from the darkness that became her uncomfortable, comfort zone.

Unbeknownst to her, she’d been in preparation for when her new self emerged, which she now calls “a person I don’t even know who’s now come back.”

When her famed teacher came to her town, she felt well enough emotionally and mentally to attend his exhibit with another artist friend.

Little did she realize that being in this environment would trigger her turning point. Her spark for living reignited, and her whole life transformed into a joy that she didn’t believe she’d ever experience.

One month since her “shift” and in a few days from the time of my writing this, she’ll be a guest at this artist’s home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, for a couple of weeks. After, she’ll visit friends in Colorado, a trip she wasn’t up to making a few months ago.


Because of her extra-ordinary and personal background as his student and apprentice as well as being considered one of the family, she’s enthusiastically considering a professional recommendation to write a memoir about her experience with this artist and his early days.

It took her nine months to make this dramatic turnaround and overcome more than a decade of sadness and inertia. She got her life back.

“Before and during the beginning of my working with you, I never believed that I would be anything other than dark and depressed.”

There was no way she would have dreamed up or planned the way life orchestrated what’s now happening.

Her change was possible because she:

  • Resolved to change
  • Got help
  • Gained clarity
  • Let go of the past
  • Unveiled and released beliefs she didn’t know were holding her back
  • Learned new tools and perspectives
  • Followed the positive voice in her head instead of the negative ones
  • Set powerful intentions. 

All of these changed her energy, which led her to be at the right place at the right time and willing to receive her heartfelt desires and happiness… even though they seemed impossible!  


One month after meeting her old teacher, she sent me this text:

“Still up!!!

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.

Thank you for believing in me and teaching me how to be happy.”

After years of isolating herself and being withdrawn from the world, now she “can’t stop talking.”

Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.

She told me, “I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life.”

It’s never too late to do what you love and be happy!

Don’t give up.

It’s worth overcoming your mental chatter and limiting beliefs that you can’t do what you love because of fill in the blank reasons.

You are worth it.

You can be financially successful. You can build your business to stellar levels, enjoy your ideal work or share your gifts in a BIGGER way.

You can be happy.

Starting now, you can create your best life ever! It’s your choice.


 

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

An Eclipse, Hurricane Harvey & a Bigger Design

August 28, 2017

IMG_0863 (2)

Nature has her way of clearing energy, including that which hibernates unseen for centuries from wars and negativity. Wind and water through floods and rains are some methods she uses to purify as well as encourage people to make changes.

It’s been described to me this way. The planet is a living organism, and nature is like a farmer rotating her crops. There are times we must look for a different place to grow, higher ground.

Speaking of energy, the power of supportive thoughts and prayers makes a difference.

It’s a good time to take a moment now to send positive energy.

In one week, we’ve seen changes from a total eclipse to Hurricane Harvey.

At the beginning of the week, people’s differences evaporated as they came together during a total eclipse.

Days later, differences cease to exist once more as people risk their lives to help friends and total strangers in the worse disaster Texas has seen.

For every experience, however calamitous, there’s always a silver lining. 

While living in New York City, I wondered what could cause people there to shift their attitudes and come together. When 9/11 came along, I got my answer. As we witnessed the worst of humanity, we also saw its best as the world pulled together in support.

Amidst the shock and devastation caused by Harvey, we see courage, selflessness, kindness, caring, respect, compassion, love and people helping people. Humanity at its best.

It often takes things to get really bad before we refocus on what’s real and truly important.

Through crises, we role model to ourselves behaviors that we can continue to choose on a daily basis.

Opinionated soap boxes and self-serving, judgmental attitudes seem petty. Past worries become small.

You’ve experienced challenges; some were life-changing.

Maybe your material things got shuffled around, and life didn’t turn out the way you expected (if that’s even possible for anyone). Your struggles stretched you to the max. The mirror of how you saw yourself was shattered.

The master gardener of life tilled your fields making room for different crops. Better crops.

Look at a current challenge in your business or life.

Step back and put things in perspective. Maybe you have to take so many steps back to get a better view that you feel like you’re falling off a cliff.

If you let go of your preconceived ideas, can you see a bigger design?

You’re learning something. Dodged a bullet you didn’t know was coming. Made changes you prayed for but didn’t know how to make. You grew.

Use your experiences as a course correct for your business, work and life instead of letting them beat you down.

To see a more immense picture, realize that you’re on a rock orbiting a star called our sun that’s 93 million miles away while spinning at nearly 1000 miles an hour. 

By doing so, you can feel something more vast than everyday life as well as your place in the universe.

Put on your energetic, eclipse glasses, see the sun and be open to receive inspired “soulutions.”


P.S. Know someone who might
enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved