Archive for the ‘Frustration’ Category

Do You REALLY Want What You Think You Want?

November 27, 2017

 

mirage2f

Want water or a mirage?

 

 

A woman, at a presentation I gave, told me how she was dreading an upcoming holiday.

She and her husband would soon divorce, and he would be with another woman, not with her and the children.

I inquired about their past, holiday celebrations. Were they fun, heart-warming, family times?

Oh no. Those were never happy times. He was usually drunk, and since she became sober, the two of them were even more distant.

What she wanted so dearly wasn’t that man during the holiday but a loving, family gathering.

Yet, she mourned the idea of not spending the holiday together — a lovely idea that didn’t exist at the best of times.

After a brief discussion, she was able to let go of her faulty idea that she’d be missing a wonderful, family experience, one they never had.

When she put this in perspective, her suffering stopped.

Later while in my Resolved for Results program, she was able to see more clearly.

Instead of the misery she felt previously, she became happily divorced. She realized she didn’t want a broken family with a person who had neither the interest nor ability to be part of a loving family.

In its place, she designed her ideal, family situation… and manifested it!

Sometimes we get an image of what we think we want and try to superimpose it on a current situation; we try to make it work — even though what’s happening doesn’t match up with what we REALLY want.

Same is true in relationships and business– people fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person or livelihood.

How can you know what you really want?

In Resolved for Results, I make the distinction this way:

“The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t.”

Mirages are illusions that look real but ultimately are unfulfilling. They only will frustrate and disappoint when you get closer to them and see them for what they are.

A definition of mirage is something that appears real or possible but in fact isn’t actually so.

Often people chase mirages because they convince themselves they’re the real deal. Mirages look like water. They need and want water. So it’s water.

It reminds me of a woman who laughingly commented on her marriage. Prince Charming became Prince Alarming.

People see what they want to see. Most are happy with their illusions until they get close enough to see that the water was just a mirage.


Here’s why this is good news:

  • You can more clearly discern what you really want when you see what you don’t want,
  • You can change emotional habits, such as feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, frustrated, worried, or being down on yourself or others about what’s not working. Habits and beliefs are just patterns of thoughts and feelings that can shift.
  • You can train your mind to focus on what you really want instead of being fixated on what you don’t want.
  • You can learn how to trust yourself and use your feelings as a GPS.
  • You can enhance your practice of gratitude. (A footnote to my last post on continuous gratitude. I’ve been practicing this for a while, although I slip in and out of this habit. When I focus on continuous gratitude, no matter what, things always work out!)

You have power in your clarity.

Even if you realize that what you thought you wanted is out of alignment with what you really want, you can now redirect your focus. Because of your new focus, you can manifest something better than you ever imagined!

By the way, if you reach the conclusion that you’re wrong, you screwed up and think beating yourself up will whip you back in shape, think again.

This thinking is a mirage.

Life is designed as a learning experience, which aids your growth. It’s not created with the purpose of disapproving of you. So don’t should on yourself.

It’s all good, including you!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Who Do You Believe More – You or Others? 

November 13, 2017

break free - believe

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.



If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.


Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

When Jimi Hendrix Matched Up With The Monkees

May 22, 2017
monkees67poster

 

For seven concerts, the not well-known Jimi Hendrix Experience was the opening act for the top-rated, pop group The Monkees.

Micky Dolenz, then vocalist and drummer of the Monkees, wrote about Jimi Hendrix in his autobiography I’m a Believer: “It was evident from the start that we were witness to a rare and phenomenal talent. I would stand in the wings and watch and listen in awe.”

The band enjoyed him personally, too. “It was really just a pleasure to have him around for company.”

With the audience, who were looking for The Monkees style of music, this is how it played out.

“… Jimi would amble out onto the stage, fire up the amps and break into ‘Purple Haze,’ and the kids in the audience would instantly drown him out with, ‘We Want Davy!!’ God, it was embarrassing.”

Peter Tork, keyboardist and bass guitarist of The Monkees, said that “it didn’t cross anybody’s mind that it wasn’t gonna fly.”

After six more performances, Hendrix left the tour.

  • Embarrassing – Check
  • Frustrating – Check
  • Disappointing – Check
  • Confused audience – Check
  • Groundbreaking, iconic, genius guitar player – Check

Shortly after, both “Purple Haze” and “Are You Experienced?” started to climb the charts, revolutionizing modern music in the process.

Just because these two groups weren’t a fit didn’t take away one iota from Hendrix’ greatness. Nor did it stop his eventual matching up with those who could and would both recognize and appreciate his talent.


A woman carefully planned and was excited to talk to a group about her business offering. It seemed like the perfect target market because there were many people of the same demographic who already used and were grateful to have found her product.

Part way through her presentation she was cut off. They repeatedly asked her the same question. However, each time she answered, they just weren’t getting it.

They misinterpreted her, and without even being able to finish, she had to leave.

Although we hadn’t talked in a while, I happened to call her when she was driving away – hurt, bewildered, doubting herself, wondering if she was in the right business.

By the end of our conversation, she realized that even though it appeared to be an ideal group, they really weren’t in a place to “get it.” She presented a progressive perspective; her audience identified with a traditional approach. They couldn’t understand and weren’t open to new ideas.


Round peg. Square hole.

In the past, many times when things went wrong with people, I blamed myself.

In hindsight, I realize most had become mismatches that I tried to make work. They were good for a while, sometimes very good. And then they weren’t.

If I was myself, I wasn’t understood. If I tried to fit in, it felt like I was selling my soul.

A clue was that I wasn’t happy but tried to find a way to rise above it.

I now see that if I stayed on those trajectories, it would’ve been sadly limiting for me.

They’re not wrong, but neither am I.

The key is to identify and attract vibrational matches.

Choose to attract the people who appreciate you and your gifts just the way you are.

How? Start by getting clear about what you want and set an intention to receive it.

Listen to your voice within and the guidance it’s always offering you.

Revolutionize your world, business or work with your awesomeness. Enjoy being well-matched so others aren’t screaming they want their version of Davy.

Let your unique genius rock on.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

How You Speed Up (or Slow Down) Money Coming to You

May 15, 2017

A saleswoman told me that people were irritating her – a lot. She was both “losing her cool” and her patience with small thinking, ridiculous behavior and demonstrations of a lack of kindness, consideration and common sense.

To make things worse, she was baffled by her client’s petty issues that almost blew a $1.5 million deal.

It reminds me of the country western lyrics by Billy Currington: “God is great. Beer is good. And people are crazy.”

Recognizing that she’s attracting whatever is going on in her life, she wondered how she created this.

She pieced together cause and effect and saw that her frustration with annoying people was magnetizing others with disgruntled attitudes. Her energy was drawing negative people to her!

By the way, the saleswoman later discovered that the sale represented to her client family disappointments. She was like a volcano ready to explode at anything that could go wrong – or she’d make something wrong to blow off steam.

According to Abraham-Hicks, it only takes 17 seconds to create a thought that attracts more of what you’re thinking and feeling.

Yikes. That’s about a quarter of a minute to design your world – consciously or not.

This is a universal principle. Positive attracts positive; negative attracts negative.

Thoughts build upon each other by attracting other thoughts of a like nature creating thought forms. 17 seconds + 17 seconds + 17 seconds…

Complaining, being hard on yourself, sharing your sad story with others, which invites them to feel as sorry for you as you feel sorry for yourself, attract more circumstances to make you want to pull your hair out.


“When you give your attention to it, if you maintain your focus for as little as 17 seconds, you begin to include its vibration, whatever it is, in your vibration. When you see something you want, and you give it your attention, and you say yes to it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration. When you see something you do not want, and you shout no at it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration.”   


“Most everybody is looking around and vibrating in response to what they are seeing. So, what is the solution? Look around less. Imagine more. Look around less. Imagine more. Until your imagery is the most familiar vibration that you have.”

Abraham-Hicks  


What’s your brain chewing on?

Feel bad because you don’t have more money? You slow down or stop money flowing to you.

Feel good about the idea of having more money? You speed up money coming to you.

Your choice. 

The way out is to decide what would inspire you to feel happy. Then whenever your thoughts turn to the not-so-sunny side of the street, redirect your focus on what creates good feelings.

“I have to face reality” can be the very attitude that holds you back from your heart’s desires.

If your current conditions aren’t what you want, and you continue to focus on them and feel miserable, you’ll get more of the same.

Take care of business, but focus your energy on what you choose to create not on what you don’t like.

You control the way you feel. Don’t give your power away to others or to circumstances.

How would having more money feel? Next focus on other positive ideas about money. Let yourself go to another like-thought. And on and on.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Why My Girlfriend SCREAMED at Me

March 20, 2017

My friend told me her predicament while on a phone call.

She was out of work, had no money but big dreams. She didn’t want to get a J-O-B because she was afraid it would suck away her time and energy to do what she really wanted.

Frustration ensued because she felt that she was here, her dreams were out there somewhere, and she didn’t know how to get over there.

Realizing the sensitivity of her situation and feeling her distress, I attempted to offer some words of support that might help her.

She replied by SCREAMING at me: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!

Her passionate yet erroneous belief of having to know how to do something before taking action kept her feeling stuck, depressed and hopeless because she couldn’t  figure out a way out.

This happened a few years ago. Currently, she’s working at a job she doesn’t like. She said she’s “matured” and stopped acting out of her helpless, childhood emotions. Although she doesn’t have all her plans figured out, she has a few next steps and is implementing those quite effectively.

Often all you really know is your next step. Think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – his leap of faith.

“You must believe, boy. You must… believe.”

https://www.google.com/search?q=indiana+jones+stepping+off+cliff&ie=&oe=#spf=1  

Letting “I don’t know how to do it”  and “I gotta figure it out” stop you before you start are siren songs that the ego uses to lure you into keeping you small.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something; it insists you must have the big picture before taking action.

This is opposite of how the creative process works.

Robert Fritz wrote this in his book  The Path of Least Resistance:

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

Here’s a practical example of what happened to me.

When I lived in Washington, D.C., I was tasked to find a meeting room for an event. My budget was just a few hundred dollars.

After contacting around 20 hotels and facilities, I learned their rates were  $1,000 to $2,000+ for what we needed. None were willing to negotiate as their facilities booked easily.

I was ready to give up and report  that this was impossible; my statistics of locations and their costs would  substantiate my conclusion.

Instead, I decided to think from the end:

1. Are we going to hold this training here? Yes.

2. This means that a room exists.

3. Find it.

The idea came to me to check out a hotel in Arlington, Virginia, located across the bridge from D.C.

Voila! The room was the exact, right price plus it had parking and easy access to the highway.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Another way of saying this, get out of your head and open yourself to infinite possibilities.

My Mastermind Principle #3 is: I am open to the mastermind leading me, and I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.

The next time someone tries to tell you or you scream at yourself that you can’t take action until you know how to do something, until you can “figure it out,” do what Odysseus was told to do when the sirens called to distract him and his men from their purpose.

Figuratively speaking, put wax in your ears.

Instead, tune into what your inner guidance whispers for you to do. This message is positive, not filled with fear.

Before Odysseus and his men left for home, Circe told Odysseus that he would pass the island of the Sirens who would try to lure the men to their deaths with their tempting song.

She advised him to put wax in the men’s ears, and if he was determined to hear their song, he should be tied to the mast of his ship.

Don’t fall for the song of your ego.  (Pun intended.)

P.S. Know others who spin in circles because they long for change but don’t know what to do?  Please share this post.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results,
All rights reserved.

This Abba Song Can Change Your Future

February 20, 2017

fantasy-angel

You weren’t meant to do this trip, multiple orbits of 365 days around the sun, alone.

To start your journey, a Supreme Being didn’t say, “Check it out, and tell me about it when you get back.”

There is support beyond what your physical eyes can see now.

You may wonder why I’m writing about this and how it’s relevant to your business/work and life.

Several people I talked with this week had challenges. Some nearly unbearable.

Can you relate? I know how tough that can feel because I’ve been there, too.

Like them, whatever’s currently going on in your life or business/work is a consequence of your old thoughts and feelings.

How could you possibly have set up something unpleasant for yourself?

No, I’m not trying to throw salt on a wound. The idea is for you to understand how you created the good, the bad and the ugly in your life so you can transform your future.

Intentionally or unconsciously, your energy attracts similar energy. For example, if you felt frustrated in the past, you will continue to attract frustrating situations. This would bring you to your current and potentially future frustration.

Now is your big moment because you can change the direction you’re heading.

Observe how you typically react. Do you emotionally respond the same way but find that you’re gong nowhere fast?

Your responses and subsequent results are like you running on a hamster wheel – repeating the same emotional patterns such as despair, frustration, depression, helplessness, confusion, anger, worry, lack or joy, peace, self-confidence, abundance and courage.

You can continue to react the same way you’ve always done.

OR you can find a way to stop going in circles by responding to life in more constructive ways. Where there’s “something good in everything” you see.

So what’s this got to do with Abba?

Last week, I wrote “The Best Place To Find Love” and shared my experience of helping a senior citizen get home. Because I took the time to do this, I thought I forfeited a front row seat at a concert. However, in spite of the room being halfway full, my prime seat was waiting for me.

What I didn’t tell you is that a song was running through my head so much that, after I dropped him off at his house, I played it on YouTube while driving.

It was Abba’s “I Have A Dream,” and by focusing on the words and concepts, my future changed and so can yours.

If you see the wonder of a magical fairy tale, then your power of imagination can take the future. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or not. Your past and present circumstances don’t matter.

Your dream, although it can seem like a fantasy, will not only help you cope with anything and help you through reality, it will help you push through the darkness.

When you focus on your dreams, the destination you envisioned becomes your reality and will make your efforts worth the while.

Your vision will help you cross over any obstacle.

There are angels to help you along the way. Some have a physical presence. Most are unseen energies rooting for you, having your back, playing the role of master organizers so your dreams can come true.

“I believe in angels,” and I strongly felt that a front row seat was saved for me.

And when my intention was to increase my income to satisfy specific goals, new business came out of the blue.

These ideas can change your future.

You’re not alone.

Allow yourself to have a dream and let it push you through… anything.

Believe in yourself and your dreams.

The time is right for you.

The destination is worth your while.

Below are the lyrics and link to Abba’s “I Have A Dream.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HMjOiHqE18

I Have A Dream by Abba

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I’ll cross the stream – I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy

To help me through reality

And my destination makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I’ll cross the stream – I have a dream

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HMjOiHqE18

Not Good Enough in La La Land

February 6, 2017

dream-bigger

Do you know the #1 issue for everyone on the planet?

It even showed up in the #1 nominated movie La La Land when a main character lost all confidence before going for the BIG dream – exhausted from trying, past rejections and feeling positive it wouldn’t work.

At some point, it’s had a starring role in your life, too.

It’s what prevents you from believing in yourself.

It’s hounded you to despair and disappointment creating doubt, anger, fear, lack, anxiety and every limitation.

No, you’re not the only one who thinks other people’s lives are better and, after objective and/or emotional comparison, you reached the conclusion there’s something’s wrong with you.

This is the #1 issue.

You feel you’re not good enough, and you have living proof because (fill in the blank of how you feel you and your life are messed up).

“Not good enough” is only a program in your head that was put there a while ago – when you were a little kid.

This is NOT you.

It’s just a program, and it can be changed!

What does it look like when your software program produces this error message?

Here are some ways people have tried to bolster their spirits to find peace, feel good and create success. You’ve probably used some of these well-worn strategies, too, only to find you’re basically in the same place you started.

Do any of these fixes sound familiar?

  • Trying to control situations or others and getting upset or anxious when it doesn’t work. Trying to control means you feel out of control. You can feel frustrated if things don’t go the way you think they should. After a while, you can give up and might go into depression because this fix has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
  • Wanting others’ approval by people pleasing; looking for self-worth by rescuing others; holding yourself back because of what others might think; or stuffing your emotions and desires. Dream big? Forget it. Too risky.
  • Feeling insecure because you don’t have enough love, money, health, respect, direction, time, contacts, etc. Playing it safe seems like a good reason to hold yourself back, but you can end up unfulfilled where even you get bored with yourself.
  • Feeling bad about you, what you’ve accomplished, what you’re doing and your future prospects. Oh, what’s the use of trying. Bingo – you’re chasing your tail and going nowhere.
  • Playing the victim so others feel sorry for you even though you sincerely express you don’t want them to and you’re not a victim… but silently craving that someone will make all your problems go away.

What’s a key to break free?

Breaking free is an inside job. Nobody can save you but you. Begin by changing your perspective.

You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Shift your focus to what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Instead of the agonizing feeling of wanting what you don’t have, recognize the feelings of love, safety and fulfillment you long for are already within you.

You can’t move a car forward and backwards at the same time without spinning in circles.

Likewise, you can’t have and want at the same time.

When you shift your focus to what you have, you’ll discover you are more than enough.

When your energy aligns with this feeling, you can write your ticket to success.

Shift happens!

Feeling you’re not enough is simply a habit.

To help you shift gears, write daily 10-15 things you’re grateful for.

Shifting takes practice, but you’re more than capable of changing your perspective.

Invest a few minutes daily to focus on how things are working out for you.  

Size doesn’t matter – got out of bed, conquered fear of calling a client, landed a promotion. Any acknowledgement will help you change your habit so you feel better about you as you rewrite the trash talk that goes on in your head.

Change your energy, change your life.

Bring on your dreams, and dream BIGGER!

Be honest. You want this more than anything.

January 10, 2017

man-with-rainbow-pexels

Let’s cut to the chase.

Regardless if you wrote New Year’s resolutions or goals for this year, you know one thing. Parts of your life work and others not so much.

You probably grumble about what you don’t like, either a little or you’re running a full-length movie.

Why do you feel this way? Because you don’t feel good that some things are the way they are.

I know this is simple. However, it provides a BIG clue to what you want more than anything.

First, let’s look at some basics you might enjoy improving:

  • Better health – You’re so done with those niggly or essential health issues and emotional stresses that you’ve been tolerating.
  • Higher quality relationships – Enough with people who are your fill-in-the-blank pet peeve. Bring on the love.
  • Increased financial success – You’re tired of the worry or limitations from not having the cha-ching to enjoy whatever you choose in life. Or you’re afraid of losing what you have.
  • Fulfilling career/ business/ doing what you love – It’s high time for your creativity to shine more brightly and for you to revel in what you do – or discover what that is.
  • Positive growth in all ways – Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual: you’re ready to bring out more of the best of you.

What will having these do for you?

You’ll feel good. You’ll feel happy. You’ll feel that life is worth living.

Everything you desire is because, underneath, you believe it will bring you what you want more than anything.

Happiness.

This is good feeling mojo, and it impacts your attitude and creates momentum to enjoy life.

By identifying what creates happiness for you, and using this as your personal GPS, you’ll discover fulfillment and success.

Yes, we’re still focusing on simple, but look what often happens.

People put up with others and situations that could be changed by redirecting their attention with a dose of clarity, confidence and courage.

Mulling over unhappy stories of the way things are, aka excuses and erroneous beliefs, keeps us unhappy … until circumstances snap us out of our fixed thinking, the burden of pain becomes too great or we make a conscious choice to do what it takes to let go and change.

A woman wasn’t happy with her job, but for fifteen years she believed this is what social work is like everywhere.

Circumstances changed, and she found an identical job in another office that she loved. Her beliefs about work weren’t true, and the limiting story she told herself kept her stuck.

For years, an unhappy husband held himself back from enjoying life because of his sick wife. He patiently waited for her to die. She outlived him by ten years.

Many have a high tolerance for pain and put up with things waaay too long.

What makes you feel unhappy? Your spirit is giving you a clue. Do something differently.

You may have to walk through your fear or sacred cow beliefs to do it.

It’s of little importance if you don’t know the big picture of where you’re going or you don’t know how to do whatever. Age, your past history, your health, your degree of stuckness or frustration or confusion do NOT matter!

Start with baby steps toward what makes you feel good, and they’ll lead you to what you need.

In my late twenties, while in a toxic situation that shattered my health and felt like a five-year prison sentence, I had a dream with a message. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I wrote it on scrap paper and put it on my dresser.

Find your heart and rescue it.

In my early forties, I cried miserably as I walked alone in my neighborhood at night because none of the above mentioned “basics” were working for me. (By the way, that was my turning point to start coaching.)

You can turn anything around to your benefit, and use this present moment as your springboard to create more joy.

Be patient with yourself.

One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Create a movie you’ll enjoy seeing because you’re happy.

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: What Were You Thinking and How It Affects You Now

December 5, 2016
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A woman I’ve known for decades, who used to be very involved with a spiritual practice, has been sending toxic emails.

She doesn’t check information to see if it’s true. Or they’re about disgruntled people who are challenged with a world that changed. Or she’ll take a positive message and skew it to be negative. And, I suppose, there are some valuable ideas, but to find them means wading through venom.

I replied to one of her emails that this is a season of unconditional love, and a way to it is being non-judgmental.

She answered, “Judgmental, unconditional love, spiritual beliefs… I definitely don’t fall under the PC situation… I have to keep it real for me, my truth. It may ruffle some people’s feathers but that’s what this world is for, experiences and finding out what we need to find out.”

Bah humbug. The spirit of Christmas is now just another way of being politically correct.

Gee, and here I thought that, underneath it all, the world is for Love.

How does her worldview affect her?

In other emails, she shared that she can get depressed.

Yet, she feels compelled that others see life through her passionate yet angry rants – under the guise of keeping it real and telling her truth.

In the past, I would listen endlessly to people’s sad stories and emotionally charged viewpoints.  I thought I was helping by holding space for them to share and be heard.

I’ve since learned that an extended focus on what doesn’t work is a disservice and adds fuel to a perspective that caused them distress. It only helps them to pick up momentum toward what they don’t like, which affects their health, finances, relationships or happiness.

This includes not validating sob stories I might conjure up about what I don’t like in my life or what’s not working the way I think it should.

If gently redirecting the conversation doesn’t work, I do what I can to exit with grace and ease.

My clients learn how to notice resistance and shift it, too.

To live with good feeling mojo is a simple concept. Feel good.

The more you think and feel good, the better your life becomes… your dreams magically start coming true. 

This weekend, I had the privilege of being invited on a trip to enjoy rock art (pictographs the ancients painted on cave walls).

Although we were rained out from that part of our trip, we enjoyed a wonderful walk, a night in a cabin perched above the lower Pecos River plus a day in Mexico.

I listened to stories of how the rock art and area in and around Seminole Canyon State Park in south Texas transformed my friend after a personal family tragedy.

Since then, not only is she deeply passionate about rock art, she breathes a respect and reverence for life.

As a result, she’s created a loving life in alignment with her values and goals.

Your TIP is to observe your thinking and notice how it’s affecting you.

I’ll give you a BIG hint.

If there are parts of your life and business you don’t like as well as how it’s affecting you, observe what you’re thinking and feeling.

I know it can seem crazy, that forces beyond your control are the real culprit, but your energy is at the core. Like energy attracts like energy. Only you choose your perspective.

The good news is that wherever you are and for however long it took you to get here, regardless of how hopeless or frustrating aspects of your life, finances, business, relationships or health may seem at times, you can change it.

Look for what brings you joy instead of addictively focusing on anxiety, pain, suffering, who done you wrong or who’s doing something wrong.

This includes what feels unchangeable, like actor Michael J. Fox who went from having “everything” to having Parkinson’s.

He turned it around from the worse experience to the best wake up call. It changed his life for the better.

P.T. Barnum went bankrupt and didn’t enter the circus business until age 60.There goes the “I’m too old” argument of limitation.

By 1983, the millions made by boxer, heavyweight champion and Olympic gold medalist George Foreman were almost gone. He turned it around. In 2014, Foreman topped The Richest list of top athlete entrepreneurs of all time.

What isn’t working for you?

You can realign your thinking and feeling so your biggest challenge becomes your biggest asset.

You’ll feel happier, too.

By the way, I just returned from a Christmas concert. At the end, the chorus formed a circle around the entire audience and sang, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.” It’s quite a concept, especially during the holiday season.

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Are Foolish Consistencies Keeping You Stuck?

November 28, 2016

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“A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” Ralph Waldo Emerson from his essay “Self-Reliance”
Are you thinking for yourself?Or are you making current choices based on past decisions or on what other people think?

Holding onto fixed ideas and not being open to new ones is an example of a foolish consistency, and it can keep you stuck.

A foolish consistency can affect your heart.

A man, who places a high value on keeping his word, made a promise to repair expensive equipment and gift it to a friend.

Personally, giving this gift meant a great deal to him.

After several months, he realized the equipment couldn’t be repaired.

He tried really hard to make the unworkable workable.

When he couldn’t, it meant he couldn’t keep his word and couldn’t give this gift, both of which caused him extreme, emotional stress.

He took this to heart.

He took a lot of things to heart.

Including a heart attack.

He let go of the foolish consistencies and now is doing great.

A foolish consistency can affect your goals.

Years ago, I had a plan of how I thought things should work.

First, I’d write my course, and then I’d buy a house.

What happened is that moving came first, and this allowed me to be in a better environment.

A foolish consistency would’ve been to insist on living in a space that wasn’t conducive to writing.

To this day, I’m careful not to be misled by my preconceived ideas, aka foolish consistencies, about what comes first and who’s on second. 

See what life is presenting at the moment. New ways often exceed one’s wildest expectation about how things can work out.

A foolish consistency can affect your money.

In spite of her best efforts and through no fault of her credit report, a silly regulation stopped a woman from refinancing to get money she needed.

At first, she was disappointed.

Not being bogged down with a foolish consistency, she refocused her thinking on this or something better.

Her business skyrocketed, and she made $18,000 in one month (far exceeding her past, monthly incomes) with many more deals in her pipeline.

Little minds worry about a foolish consistency.

Greater minds align with the moment.

Your TIP is to use your great mind! Let go of your limiting, foolish consistencies, and be open to new ideas to receive what you want.

Challenge the way you think and usually do things, especially if you feel stuck or you’re trying to break free into something better.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

If you’ve tried something new and you’re beating yourself up because it didn’t work the way you thought – stop it!

Getting down on yourself is not helping.

Give yourself a chance to align with a different track to success, and be open to receive something better.

Breathe. Listen within.

Your inner wisdom is 100% on your side to guide you from stuck to success.

Be willing to receive its messages.

I work with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming masterminding teams or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email me at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.