Archive for the ‘Frustration’ Category

About Those CRAZY Makers in Your Life

June 7, 2021

What do you see?  A young woman or an old one? 
This optical illusion was created over 100 years ago.


Many problems in our world are because people see illusions of what they want to see and believe them to be true.


Have you noticed people crazy making and buttons getting pushed? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take things personally. But what should you do about it?



 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn?
Or is the point to get out of it and leave?


What’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because she wrote that I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later, she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

The point? Get out of it. When people are perpetually crazy making, create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

PLEASE NOTE: There are people who have mental and emotional considerations and are well-served by our support to receive help! I’m referring to those whose default patterns are often unconscious, repetitive, self-centered and create chaos. It’s part of our journey to learn the difference and set boundaries when appropriate.

The following ideas may help you with the crazy makers in your life. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way. Relax your body.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, be validated or express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself, even if you believe they’re wrong: Why is it essential that others should think and act the way you think they should? Do you need their approval? Are you wanting control? Are you letting them make you feel unsafe or insecure? Are you judging them? Do you need to be right?
  6. Everyone has a right to their viewpoint. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to stick around, at least emotionally and mentally if you can’t leave physically.
  7. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true, which usually isn’t your story about it, and the best action to take? You know the answer if you have the willingness and courage to be quiet within and see it.


 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”


 Using these tips will:

  • Bring you peace of mind
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom, awareness and empowerment
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

Avoidance and resistance to honestly look at a situation are futile.

Tap into your inner mastership. Don’t be afraid to step back, observe, SEE, then act, lest you start crazy making yourself.

 If you don’t like what you see, envision something better. Focus on your new choice without the emotional drama.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story. 

 None of these provide long-lasting satisfaction anyway. 

 Using these tips will:

  • Bring you peace of mind
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom, awareness and empowerment
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

Avoidance and resistance to look honestly at a situation are futile.

Tap into your inner mastership. Don’t be afraid to step back, observe, SEE, then act, lest you start crazy making yourself.

 If you don’t like what you see, envision something better. Focus on your new choice without the emotional drama.


Many problems in our world are because people see illusions of what they want to see and believe them to be true.


If you’d like help with any crazy making in your life,
contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.”

Edited from Soulgoals’ published on March 25, 2011, When Buttons Are Pushed

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

I Was Challenged? Is It Good or Is It Bad?

April 19, 2021

Life presents both challenges and blessings. Your perspective determines how they affect you and your ability to make your dreams come true.

Once upon a time there was a farmer named Sei Weng who had one horse and one son. One day the horse wandered away, and the neighbors commented that this was unfortunate. The farmer replied, “How do you know it’s bad luck?”

Soon after the horse returned bringing several wild mares with him. The neighbors congratulated him on his good luck. Ah, what lovely, strong horses! However, the farmer responded by saying, “How do you know it’s good luck?”

The son was thrown while riding one of the wild horses and broke his leg. His neighbors once again commented on how sorry they were for his bad luck, at which the farmer said, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted into the military and sent into battle. Because he had a broken leg, the old man’s son didn’t have to go to war. The neighbors were excited about his good fortune, but the farmer remarked, “Is it good or is it bad?”

Another version of this Chinese folktale concludes with, “That’s the way it is.”

Another says that fortune turns to misfortune, and misfortune to fortune. There is no end to changes, and the mystery can’t be known.



Because the farmer was emotionally detached and didn’t go along with everyone’s thinking, he was able to see a bigger picture. 




According to the Chaos Theory our lives are always in chaos, and this is what opens us to fresh forms and possibilities. When we reach what is called a “bi-furcation point,” a “point of departure” takes place, and a “self-organization out of chaos” occurs.



In other words, events that serve as turning points create a new order and structure. 

Instead of adversely reacting to circumstances that seem bad, consider they may be a portal to something greater than you currently can imagine.




A messy divorce may be a ticket to personal empowerment and overcoming fear.

The loss or lack of worldly goods may be what cracks the shell to allow humility and what’s truly important to be seen or to create space for a new direction or life-changing insights… and the impetus to pursue one’s dreams, perhaps in a new way.

However, these new ways are often different than we previously imagined how our lives would be. Suffering, tears and frustration can be the result when we’re at a “point of departure” but resist departing from our old ways.

My recent experience:

I researched ceiling fans with lights that had to meet very specific criteria for my back porch. I invested a bizarre amount of hours to find the right one. FOUR fans that I chose became unavailable as they sold out while I was looking at them!

Getting frustrated was an option, but instead I said to myself, “this or something better.” I was on the verge of giving up but accidentally found a green one I absolutely love. Originally, it was in a price range that was over six times more than some I’d been considering.

I called the fan company with questions, at which time I inquired about the cost, too. It was less than half the price that a dozen other sites were charging for their sales price, plus I found an additonal discount code.

The rep told me that green was an unusual color, and it just went on sale for a fraction of the original cost.

It fits my needs way better than fans I’d seen at any price.

I kept getting blocked from purchasing others until the right fan showed up at the right price.

It was challenging when I missed out FOUR times on fans I spent a long time on finding. Disappointing? Is it good or is it bad? Turned out way better.

You can choose your perspective. Look deeper. When the timing is right, you may see the silver lining.

No matter how it appears, things change. The highs become lows or ordinary. Regardless of how frustrating or hopeless aspects of your life may seem, this too shall pass.

Your highs and lows come from judging how you think your life should’ve been in the past or should be in the future. Your now, this moment of time, is perfect just the way it is.



Embrace what is without a drama-filled story attached to it, and all your struggles are over.



Your dreams can come true. How? The way reveals itself. Listen to the inner whispers guiding you. Be open to receive. Consider a new point of view because nothing is what it seems. All is in divine order and surpasses your wildest imagination.

Nothing would be what it is.

Because everything would be what it isn’t.

And contrary-wise – what it is, it wouldn’t be.

And what it wouldn’t be, it would.

You see?

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


If you’d like help in 
creating your life to work better,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people

who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

Edited and reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog, March 8, 2013

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck… and how you create unnecessary pain and suffering

July 20, 2020

Feeling stalled out or stuck during Covid time? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. By the way, just because it’s stuck, there’s nothing wrong with the cat anymore than there’s anything wrong with you!

To help you unravel your stuckness, here’s an excerpt from my program Soulgoals: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities and a meet and greet.

I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings.

She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do or act, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but you block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

Why? If things don’t turn out as you expected, you can get disappointed. However, if you set intentions but stop trying to control exactly how the outcomes should appear, you let go and let God.

Expectations can pull you away from the present moment and foist you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is. By not resisting, you open yourself energetically to infinite possibilities.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all. It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it’s making the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

4 Ways to Get Unstuck

It’s important to identify where you feel stuck. Feeling stuck is an emotional response that can leave you feeling there’s no way out. Here are four alternatives that can help:

  1. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to control the outcome by expecting it (or people) to be the way you think it should. Alternative: Relax and anticipate this or something better will occur. Stop trying to micromanage the world. This opens you to tune into new ideas and directions.
  2. You’re beating yourself up with regrets or other limiting thoughts and emotions because of your situation. Alternative: Release judging you, others and your circumstances. Replace it with an empowering perspective that you’re learning, so is everyone else, and all is in divine order and timing.
  3. You’re focusing on how things aren’t working. Alternative: focus on what you choose and the good feeling mojo it creates. Good feeling mojo is what opens you to manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.
  4. You’re pushing to make things happen. Alternative: Stop resisting (and exhausting yourself about) what is and allow things to be the way they are. You getting fussy about it won’t change it or help. Let go. Let God. Set new goals for what you choose. Take action from this perspective.

Feeling stuck may be a clue that it’s time to change direction or attitude. You might have to let go of what you’re holding onto to make way for something even better! 

When you shift your energy, you allow life to create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Archives January 25, 2016

Know someone who might
benefit from reading this? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

http://www.soulgoals.com

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote To My Client.

April 20, 2020

Whatever thoughts you have that don’t feel good, whatever fears you have… they’re not about you!! They’re also not about the economy, a virus or any other circumstance!

We all created, everyone of us, a false identity, which is known as the ego. Some call it the mind – or monkey mind.

No, the ego isn’t just about those who we consider braggadocios.

It’s the part of us that feels fear, doubt, anxiety, lack, sorrow, sadness and wonders about “what if” the worse happens. What if you get sick? What about your finances? And on and on.

It’s the part that berates us for not feeling good enough, regretting the past and is fearful about the future – and, oh, how it disapproves of you in countless ways.

However, the greater part of us, an invisible yet far more powerful Essence, is within, too.

How can you access that place of calm, peace and happiness?

Soon I’ll offer a teleconference to help you understand and LET GO of your ego being in charge of your life.

You’ll learn how to allow your innate, inner mastery to be in control, new ways to set goals and MANIFEST THEM!

Interestingly, by letting go of negative emotions, we open to receive whatever we choose into our lives. Money. Health. Love. Peace. 

In the meantime, I’m sharing a Soulgoals’ post from my August 12, 2019 archive about the ego.

It’s just a hint of what it is and how it impacts you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

 

Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.

I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. And why was God allowing me and others to suffer?

This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.

 

Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.

For some, it’s an exciting adventure.

For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.

You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.

Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…

You are not your software.

In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

 

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”     

The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

 

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks it’s protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival.

When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.

 

If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
and more satisfying,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Challenged? 5 Steps to Make it Easier on Yourself

October 28, 2019

stop cop

Life presents challenges. How you respond – your emotions and mental focus – is your choice.

You can get sucked into the quicksand of negative feelings, railing against the world and how tough everything is, focus on what’s not working and bemoan your tale of woes with others or in your head… and attract the opposite of what you want.

Or you can make a different choice.

Some of my clients are in the midst of the most heart-wrenching experiences of their lives.

A man left a country where he worked over three years, in a highly regarded profession, to interview for a job. His current position finishes in three months, and so far all his efforts to find new employment haven’t produced results.

Frustrated by multiple rejection letters – literally, where in the world will this gifted man live and create an income? This follows a year of intense personal and professional challenges.

Upon his return, immigration blocked his re-entry because of visa problems. He was arrested, detained and deported back to where he had just interviewed in New York City. Banned to go back for his belongings at work and home, which is also where his girlfriend lives, he has no cell phone or office to continue his job search. His attorney says there is no help legally and made excuses for not properly advising him.

At first he was in shock and emailed “I AM REALLY F___ED… I am devastated, exhausted, overwhelmed and at the end of my wits.”

Soon after, he Skyped me from a computer in a noisy café for a session.

Decision time: be the victim and miserable in a living hell or surrender and have faith that there’s a divine purpose and something positive will come of this.

Feelings and thoughts manifest. His personal honesty allowed him to see how he created this experience – he really didn’t want to work at his job or be in that country anymore.

This situation assured he wouldn’t spend another minute there.

He also has a strong desire to dump childhood patterns and traumas. Realizing his former tension and aggressiveness stemmed from being where he wasn’t appreciated, he chooses now to use this time as a transformation to express his positive nature.

Cut free from the burden of having to go back, the following day brought a feeling of liberation, contentment and a sense of being in a divine comedy.

With his newfound attitude, his nightmare vanished like a bad dream after waking up.

“I’m in the right place at the right time, and I know there’s opportunity here. I have friends and feel that I’m amongst kindred spirits in this city. I have to take action and not be complacent.

My girlfriend and colleagues will pack up my things, and she’ll bring them here next month. She wanted to move away from there anyway. I’m looking at life with childlike wonder knowing my good is here. I feel purposeful. I’ll figure it out and make it work.”

Months of anxiety and fear about finding a job and where it would be disappeared, too. It’s either in this city and country or something better.

I asked him to pick an image to reflect his perspective. He chose Fred Astaire – light on his feet and with good technique.

You can transform any situation in your life by choosing to: 

  1. Let go of the exhausting struggle: your story of your hard life and what if the worse happens. Write it down and burn or shred it. Choose to let it go! Repeat as needed.
  2. Change your perspective from one that creates stress and deteriorates your health and finances to one where you surrender to a divine source with an attitude of anticipating the best. Look for the positive in any situation; it’s always there.
  3. Stop thinking and talking about what’s wrong and instead focus on what’s working
  4. Enjoy quality time with those who nipped the self-indulgent habits of #1-3.
  5. Take action in the direction of your dreams.

As you gently let go of the struggle, you’ll float to the top of the quicksand of fear and move to the shore of creativity and abundance.

Reprinted from Soulgoals’ Archive, March 22, 2012

If you’d like support
through challenging times,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What You Can Do When Someone Pushes Your Buttons

October 16, 2019

 

 

 

Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed.

Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

 

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Why Is Your Life Happening The Way It Is?

September 30, 2019

 

Your thoughts and feelings are engines that generate results. If you don’t like what you see, you can recreate something better.

What I’m about to tell you may be a game changer.

Let’s start with the law of attraction, like attracts like – when it works positively.

A skin care specialist visualized lots of people calling for appointments.

  • Results? Shortly after, the receptionist reported that she booked several sessions for her – just as she asked for in her visualization.

However, she didn’t specify what kind of appointments.

  • Results? One was for a bikini wax, and she really doesn’t like to give them.

Because of her busy schedule, the client couldn’t get a wax as soon as she wanted but made the appointment anyway. In the meantime, the visualizer mused about how she didn’t want to do the wax.

  • Results? The client cancelled.

This is a classic case of cause and effect where thoughts become things, but your experience may differ.

So let’s get to what matters most to you. Why is your life happening the way it is?

Do you sometimes feel like you’re drowning and looking for a life saver?

Is this you?

I don’t know if I believe in this stuff. I tried it, and it didn’t work. I did everything right. I visualized, masterminded, had a positive attitude, created a vision board, and still no results.

Could it be that one part of you did “all the right things” and another part freaked out with anxiety? Were you feeling frustrated, angry, desperate, scared or doubtful?

Your world reflects what you predominantly think and feel. 

If so, no need to worry. Neville Goddard in Your Faith Is Your Fortune wrote this:

“Just as a branch withers and dies if the sap of the vine ceases to flow towards it, so do things and qualities pass away if you take your attention from them; because your attention is the sap of life which sustains the expression of your life.”

When you fuss and fret, your attention is on what you don’t want. Instead, change your focus, including emotionally, to what you choose.

TIP: Don’t EXPECT results. 

Say again. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?

Expecting results in a specific way is a booby trap, and you’re no boob. Here’s how it can foil your efforts.

When we mastermind, we ask for “this or something better.” Why? Because God, or if you’re more comfortable using the word the universe, may have a better way to bring results.

Energetic clinging repels results. Imagine a girl focused on finding a boyfriend. Guys sense this as dogs sense fear and run for the hills. Once she lets go of the search, there’s room for her dream to come true. 

I’m an expert on expectation… not bringing me results.

I can trick myself into thinking I let go when I’m really WAITING FOR, aka EXPECTING, a result from a SPECIFIC source. 

For example, in the past, while putting a group together, I expected my next event would fill it. If I had a financial goal, I expected a particular client would fulfill it.

I said I let it go, but I tried to control the outcome: I patiently relaxed to manifest my goals the way I expected. I knew how I thought it would happen. I took action to make it happen.

Here’s the telltale downside that I was in expectation. When it didn’t happen as expected, I got disappointed. Next came fear and my default program: Oh no, what am I going to do?

This started a vicious circle of expectation and disappointment which attracted more things that made me feel discouraged.

Now, I still hold events and have clients that could bring results. But, if they don’t, it’s called next. God will supply from other sources.

God is your supply. 

Don’t expect your supply to come from a person, event or anything in particular. You are ALWAYS taken care of by God, but results often come differently than you think they SHOULD. Results come when you let go and let God. Allow the universe to bring your answers.

Feeling dejected, rejected or injected with fear is not trusting. 

Trust is not giving up or moaning about what’s not working. These are childhood responses.

Instead, trust by ANTICIPATING RESULTS.

Anticipate your needs are fulfilled beyond your wildest expectations. Adopt a childlike curiosity of wonder instead of dictating an expectation.

It’s your job to:

  • Make a choice.
  • Pay attention to your nudges.
  • Take action on what you’re inwardly guided to do.

Let God fill in the HOW and why and where and by whom.

Remember:

  • Anticipate, don’t expect.
  • Trust that a divine energy can and does manifest goals you choose or something better.

Don’t like your new creation? Don’t create a story about how you never get what you want, etc. Choose again.

When you anticipate the best, you change the way your life is happening.

This is a reprint from May 26, 2011.

If you’d like to change
the way your life is going,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

 

 

 

 

Not Getting What You Want? Here’s Why.

August 21, 2019


Here’s what happened to two of my clients that cut them off from getting what they wanted… and how they turned it around.

1. Before we started coaching, a man was tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. Soon after, he turned his business around and in the last year has socked away many, many tens of thousands in savings.

However, he had a major meltdown about the “bitter reality” of not being able to get something he had been looking forward to having. Although the upset occurred in his personal life, his tremendous momentum in sales came to a halt.

Usually, at the beginning of his sessions, he listed so many deals that I couldn’t write them all down. This time, he said his business was anemic. Nothing going on at all!

By the end of his session, he did a 180 turnaround as he “put things in perspective.” 

He said, “I trust I can deal with this better and more appropriately. I’m in a better spot now. I’m more comfortable about moving forward.

“I now feel gratitude for what I have instead of disappointment for what I don’t have.”

Less than two hours later, he got a call about a new prospect. The following day he had a new client!


Energy attracts like energy. What’s felt in some part of one’s life spills over to the rest of it. When he felt frustrated and disappointed, he magnetized other situations, like lack of clients, so he could continue feeling frustrated and disappointed. When he felt more positively, he attracted success.

2. Starting last fall, a seasoned professional’s business plummeted, and she was living off credit cards.

Shortly after coaching with me this year, she successfully turned her business around as she attained her goal of $1 million in monthly sales.

Suddenly, it all came to a standstill. $700,000 of deals completely fell through with no prospects on the horizon.

What happened?

She was brought up to believe that you have to work hard to get what you want. However, she met a guy last fall, and they’ve been having fun, fun, fun!

Recently, she’s been having so much fun that her limiting belief that “work has to be hard” crept back again. Her financial flow stopped cold in its tracks.

She became aware of her faulty belief, and let it go. During this week’s session, she reported that she’s on track to achieve her goal of $1 million of transactions next month, the time it takes for her deals to process. 

In the meantime, she received a call asking her to consider a totally unexpected, significant income stream. This put needed cash in her pocket now and will continue to do so in the future.

A simple thought that life and work have to be hard impacts results. When her fun life became incongruent with that erroneous belief, something had to give. For her, it was to stop making money. That is, until she caught on and turned it around.

Not getting what you want? There’s an underlying reason for the disconnect.

Change your perspective to turn your life around. Imagine differently. Start by seeing through the eyes of gratitude and having more fun.


Life is supposed to be fun. No one is taking score of any kind, and if you will stop taking score so much, you will feel a whole lot better — and as you feel a whole lot better, more of the things that you want right now will flow to you… All is really well. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun!

Abraham-Hicks


If you’d like help clearing 
limiting beliefs so you

can have what you want,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.