Maybe There’s Another Way of Looking at Things

Your reaction to life depends on how you look at things.

I’ve been building another Soulgoals’ website, which necessitated revisions to my lovely, new logo and banner. When they were reduced in size, some of the lettering was so small that it was unreadable.

My request for changes has been going on for months, but I was busy with other things so I let it slide. Periodically, I checked in and got modificatins, but they weren’t the ones I sought.

Finally, I got annoyed. A few days ago, I asked her in a very kind, detailed email to work as a team. PLEASE complete this. 

She replied: “Okay so, to be honest, it’s not a lack of communication between us. I am going through chemo and it is causing havoc with my work, even my eyes if you can believe it!”

Yikes. It seems whenever I get bothered about something, there are other factors involved that I hadn’t considered, another way of looking at things.

Oh, but the ego, our false identity, loves having a justifiable reason to be irritated or against something or someone. This has an underlying egoic “benefit” of feeling superior to others. To the egoic self, it feels so satisfying to be right while making others wrong. It loves to cop an attitude and often won’t listen to anything but the way it wants to look at things.

I’ve had people angry with me for years. Eventually when we talked, it turned out that their interpretation didn’t have anything to do with what I actually said or my intention of presenting a different viewpoint.

---

No matter the truth, people see what they want to see.

---

They based what they thought I meant through their filter of how they usually saw things. Assumptions. Instead, I offered a perspective that could stretch them beyond the way they perceived things… if they allowed themselves to look at life another way.

“Attain to the place where no one and no thing can disturb you.”

Lester Levenson

Listen to the inner whispers guiding you. Make choices so you’re not allowing others or situations to affect your emotional energy. 

Like attracts like. Like energy attracts like energy. Consciously take care of yours to create your best life.

Consider a new point of view because nothing is what it seems. All is in divine order and surpasses your wildest imagination.

Nothing would be what it is.

Because everything would be what it isn’t.

And contrary-wise – what it is, it wouldn’t be.

And what it wouldn’t be, it would.

You see?

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

---

Could you use help in changing the way you see some things?

Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

DON’T Try to Figure Things Out

There’s a BETTER way!

“I don’t know how to do it” and “I gotta figure it out” are seductions, siren songs of the egoic self, to lure you into keeping you small.

The egoic self is a false identity, which all of us have, that pretends to be us. We can recognize one aspect of it by the voice in our heads that never stops talking – often unsupportive, fearful and negative.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something. It insists you must have the big picture, all your ducks in a row and conditions must be just right before taking action.

Faulty assumptions are made. I don’t have the money. My life will be too disrupted. The children. My health. It’s not the right time. It’s not fill in the blank excuse.

I’ve observed this when people give me a list of why they can’t take action now toward their dreams. Really logical sounding reasons. Often they’re excuses in sheep’s clothing, aka listening to the egoic self’s whispers of fear and limitation.

Some, in trying to figure things out and looking for validation, ask others for their opinion. Then they’re dealing with others’ issues in addition to their own.

Hint: listen to the very first guidance that comes. It can be a gut feeling, an excitement, relief or a flash of insight. What comes after, with all the logical reasons or someone else planting doubt, can be ego-sourced. Well-meaning, seemingly safe, but actually neither.

If we continue to ignore our inner guidance, then life’s 2 x 4 can whack us to get our attention and change. Life crises in health, relationships, finances, accidents, job turnaround, death, divorce, emotional distress, natural disaster and more, for all their yuckiness, are catalysts for change.

However, having the courage to listen to our inner nudges is easier, even though we may try to talk ourselves into believing it isn’t.

By the way, the egoic self is very defensive because it believes its survival and identity depend on its perspective. Woe to anyone who might suggest otherwise… unless someone has had enough of unconsciously being unconscious and reaches out for freedom.

“Protecting and enhancing that false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force.”

Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

The mindset of the egoic self is opposite of how the creative process works.

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Robert Fritz, The Path of Least Resistance

Use your imagination. Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Be wary of the excuses logical reasons you give yourself that hold you back.

Another way of saying this is get out of your head, and don’t try to figure things out.

Instead, relax and open yourself to infinite possibilities. Then take action by following your inner guidance.

Edited Soulgoals’ Blog excerpt from March 20, 2017

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

---

Could you use help to discover new options and perspectives?

Learn how: virginia@soulgoals.com • http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

You’re More Than Enough

Cornucopia: an abundant, endless, overflowing supply. Allow your abundance to come in.

---

Your egoic self will seduce you to believe that you’re limited and not enough. It goes on and on with endless versions of not enoughs… you’re not good enough; you don’t have enough; you’re not a good enough parent or child; you’re not pretty or handsome enough: your weight isn’t good enough; you don’t match up to others; you’re not smart enough; you don’t have enough money. Get the idea?

It invades your thinking, but it lies!

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

Louise Hay

How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?

Ask if what you believe is true. (Your ego will convince you it’s true.) You feel that you’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.

If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute. Just like what happened in the following example.

Trekkie Talk

Data, an enlightened, artificial intelligence life form who’s programmed to help humans, understands this concept as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:

Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.

Clone: I do not understand.

Data: I know.

And Data detached the clone from its power source.

When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding that the ego is controlling you. How is that possible? It imposes its faulty rationale, a filter that’s been influencing your perspective, that causes you to think and feel negatively and with limitation.

One of its programs is you against “them.” “Them” can be a generic somebody or something other than you. There’s little or no responsibility taken for one’s actions. You’re the victim. “They” are out to get you. Be afraid of what others might do to you in the future.

No, that’s not just the way you are. That’s the way you’ve been programmed by family, TV, church, school, friends, etc.

You can be running this computer-like mental and emotional software unconsciously. You can be completely unaware that its logic isn’t what you think it is. You may even adamantly defend it.

When this occurs, just like Data’s clone, there’s little recognition that the ego’s lies are actually working against you. For example, fearing the worse possible outcomes for the future isn’t protecting you. In truth, you’re setting yourself up for failure because of a misuse of your imagination.

It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as you become a pawn to do the ego’s bidding.

However, you can detach from this power source, just like Data did with his clone!

When You are in charge, your true Essence, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to go beyond fear, make your dreams real and enjoy your best life.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)

I created a tool that my clients experience at the beginning of my Soulgoals’ program, called Liberation of Lunacy (the LoL Technique) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes over control. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.

The ego will echo what you think, believe, say and feel emotionally. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming and making yourself and others wrong. Refrain from complaining about, comparing yourself and feeling superior or inferior to others.

Replace feeling a separation between you and “them” with an awareness of a connectedness with all of life.

Edited Excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog, originally posted on June 18, 2018

---

Ready to reap the harvest of feeling good enough?

Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Who’s to Blame? Is It Your Fault or Theirs?

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Here’s a Simple Formula:

If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it may be the other person who’s the culprit:

Your programming could include the belief that there’s something wrong with or oddly divergent about you, and now you’re convinced that’s true. (By the way, that program was put there by someone else, probably in childhood.) Because of this belief, and like attracts like, you attract others who accuse you of the same thing. This adds false evidence that your seeming inadequacy must be correct, and your life can feel controlled by what others think about you.

If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about others, the issue may be yours:

This programming could include not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life as well as projecting your feelings on others. You believe other people, the government or circumstances are to blame for the wrongs done to you, and your words reveal you feel victimized or persecuted (although you might never think of yourself this way).

You can generalize: everybody feels that way or everyone knows that. Furthermore, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs, or you could feel they just don’t get it. If only they’d see the light from your perspective or apologize, you’d feel validated. But the relief doesn’t last for long because your concealed programming is still running.

Regardless, if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same. It isn’t about You but your egoic self, a false identity that you’ve spent your life thinking is you!

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Ever feel that you want to crawl in bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when your story about them adds interpretation to emotions… which leads to beliefs… which circles back to those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

Eckhart Tolle said, “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry, blame and envy, are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these grievances appear justified, and usually someone or something else is blamed for these feelings. (Obviously, says the ego, it’s their fault.)

The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in You but in the very structure of your egoic mind.

An Alternative:

You have the ability to:

• Let go of allowing others and external circumstances control the way you feel and act.
• Let go of trying to control how others think and live their lives.
• Stop investing your emotional energy into who’s right and wrong.

Instead, make new choices. Shift your focus away from others’ and your so-called faults to seeing that you are more than enough. Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you.

When people can’t find perfection in themselves, they judge others.

So allow others to be who they are, learning lessons just like you. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries. But accept life for what it is.

You can have emotional mastery. Acceptance is your ticket to freedom. Resistance is futile.

You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

Edited Excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog, originally posted on June 18, 2018

---

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

---

Ready to live YOUR life, let go of blaming and complaining and gain emotional mastery? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

A Different Way of Helping People… That Actually Helps

The Home Edit on Netflix inspired me to massively reorganize my home.

I let go of 2/3rds of my clothes and shoes. I threw away bags of stuff, sold some, and brought countless carloads to Goodwill.

For a variety of reasons, they no longer fit who I am now.

I categorized what was left (grouping similar items together in the same area). I bought containers so everything on my shelves had their own place. I stepped back to look at all my rooms, closets, drawers and cupboards with an eye for them to be aesthetically pleasing. The end goal is to maintain the system.

There’s not a paper on my desktops.

Following was the yard edit. I cut and dumped the equivalent of truckloads of pruned trees and branches.

---

Months of this focus led me to ask questions about editing my life.

• How was I using my time?
• Why were individuals in my life?
• I paid attention to attitudes, beliefs, patterns, actions of myself and others.
• When did I feel unhappy or stressed? 
• What did I like or just put up with?

When I honestly paused to see, I admitted to myself what didn’t serve me.

I saw where I was taking care of others above taking care of me. 

Why? For logical reasons:
they needed me, my help, to talk, something… and regularly being on that vibrational frequency was interfering with my ability to create a life that I choose.

It was time for me to draw the line and stop tolerating the vibrational dissonance.

---

“Use whatever excuse you can to vibrate in harmony with those things you’ve been saying you want. And when you do, these things that are a vibrational equivalent flow into your experience in abundance… That which is like unto itself is drawn.“

Abraham-Hicks

---

Once, while in a car for hours with a woman who’d been experiencing her friend’s drama for hours, I asked: “Why are they even your friends?”

It was the same question I’d been asking myself about everything in my life. Why is this/ are they in my life?

She replied something about how they’re dysfunctional. However, my point wasn’t about them, but I left her answer alone.

My intention was about her. What vibration are you choosing? To use colloquial expressions, as birds of a feather flock together, as water seeks its own level, her love and caring for her friends were aligning her with energy of drama. 

Wonder why sometimes you don’t move forward in life the way you thought you could? With what vibrational frequencies are you aligning yourself?

---

“When you find vibrational alignment with You,
you personally thrive.“

Abraham-Hicks

---

For me, why did some drain my energy?

I learned from YouTuber Richard Grannon regarding narcissists that “you’re dealing with a performance to elicit a response from you that caused you to serve them.”

Whaaat?

Some people try to pull you in, to do things for them and satisfy their needs, with their stories, circumstances, neediness or emotions in order to elicit a response from you. This is how they cause you to serve them, in ways you wouldn’t have done if they hadn’t evoked or played on your emotions somehow.

They may want your money, your time, your stuff, your sex, your advice, your energy, your conversations, you doing things for them, your emotional support, and on and on.

They may not respect your boundaries when you say “no,” but they can be sooo grateful to you for helping them.

Yes. It feels good to make a difference by helping others. Until their needs surface again. And again.

I realized I wasn’t helping. They were using me as a band-aid.

Are you rescuing or trying to fix others? You might believe you should do this to be a loving and good friend or family member. However, you may be holding others back from learning their lessons!

If you try to “teach” them, aka rescue or fix them instead of being an example, you may be holding them back spiritually.

Consequence: they keep coming back to you for help, and your enabling doesn’t motivate them to learn their lessons.

Ask yourself honestly. Is the relationship 50-50 or more like 90-10, you giving more than receiving?

You can let go of the toxicity and drama in your life. Maybe you’ve outgrown that, and it’s no longer a fit.

Of course, be willing to extend a helping hand!! However, if your hand gets tired from the repetitive performance, here’s an option.

HAVE COMPASSION. BLESS OTHERS.

LET THEM KNOW YOU BELIEVE IN THEM TO FIND A WAY THROUGH THEIR SITUATION.

BUT DON’T DO THE WORK FOR THEM.

Be empowered. Happy. Surround yourself with supportive people who love you for who you are, not because of how you can serve them.

Edited post from Soulgoals’ Blog of November 14, 2022

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

---

Ready to be free of helping others more and helping yourself less? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.