WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?

Your thinking and feelings are engines that generate results. If you don’t like what you see, you can recreate something better.

What I’m about to tell you may be a game changer.

Let’s start with the law of attraction – when it works positively.

A skin care specialist visualized lots of people calling for appointments.

• Results? Shortly after, the receptionist reported that she booked several sessions for her – just as she asked for in her visualization. 

However, she didn’t specify what kind of appointments.

• Results? One was for a bikini wax, and she really doesn’t like to give them.

Because of her busy schedule, the client couldn’t get a wax as soon as she wanted but made the appointment anyway. In the meantime, the visualizer mused about how she didn’t want to do the wax.

• Results? The client cancelled.

This is a classic case of cause and effect, but your experience may differ. So let’s get to what matters most to you. Why is your life happening the way it is?

Do you feel like you’re drowning and looking for a life saver? 

Is this you? 

I don’t know if I believe in this stuff. I tried it, and it didn’t work. I did everything right. I visualized, masterminded, had a positive attitude, created a vision board, and still no results. 

Could it be that one part of you did “all the right things” and another part freaked out with anxiety? Were you feeling frustrated, angry, desperate or scared? Your world reflects what you predominantly think and feel. 

If so, no need to worry. Neville in Your Faith Is Your Fortune wrote this: 

“Just as a branch withers and dies if the sap of the vine ceases to flow towards it, so do things and qualities pass away if you take your attention from them; because your attention is the sap of life which sustains the expression of your life.” 

When you fuss and fret, your attention is on what you don’t want. Instead, change your focus, including emotionally, to what you choose. 

TIP: Don’t EXPECT results. 

Say again. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? 

Expecting results is a booby trap, and you’re no boob. Here’s how it can foil your efforts. 

When we mastermind, we ask for “this or something better.” Why? Because God and the universe may have a better way to bring results. 

Energetic clinging repels results. Imagine a girl focused on finding a boyfriend. Guys sense this as dogs sense fear and run for the hills. Once she lets go of the search, there’s room for her dream to come true. 

I’m an expert on expectation.

I can trick myself into thinking I let go when I’m really WAITING FOR, aka EXPECTING, a result from a specific source. 

For example, in the past, while putting a group together, I expected my next event would fill it. If I had a financial goal, I expected a particular client to fulfill it. I said I let it go, but I tried to control the outcome: I patiently relaxed to manifest my goals the way I expected. I knew how I thought it would happen… and I took action to make it happen. 

Here’s the telltale downside. When it didn’t happen as expected, I got disappointed. Next came fear and my default program: Oh no, what am I going to do? 

This started a vicious circle of expectation and disappointment which attracted more things to be discouraged about. 

Now, I still hold events and have clients that could bring results. But, if they don’t, it’s called next. God will supply from other sources. 

God is your supply. 

Don’t expect your supply to come from a person, event or anything in particular. You are ALWAYS taken care of by God, but results often come differently than you think they SHOULD. Results come when you let go and let God. 

Feeling dejected, rejected or injected with fear is not trusting. 

Trust is not giving up or moaning about what’s not working. These are childhood responses. 

Instead, trust by ANTICIPATING RESULTS. Anticipate your needs are fulfilled beyond your wildest expectations. Adopt a childlike curiosity of wonder instead of dictating an expectation. 

It’s your job to:

• Make a choice.
• Pay attention to your nudges.
• Take action on what you’re inwardly guided to do.

 Let God fill in the HOW and why and where and by whom.

 Remember:

• Anticipate, don’t expect.
• Trust that God can and does manifest goals you choose or something better.

Don’t like your new creation? Don’t create a story about how you never get what you want, etc. Choose again.

Anticipate the best and you change the way your world is happening for you.

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STOP GIVING YOUR POWER AWAY & LIVE YOUR DREAMS

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras. Translated: who you are isn’t good enough. A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates the voice that chatters in the back of your head.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.” Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. If you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll never be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

• Trying to please others and being worried about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
• Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
• Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
• Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
• Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
• Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE. 

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you: 

1. Go within and ask your question.
2. Listen and write your answers.
3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 2

A Tarantula Living Its Life As A Tarantula

It takes courage to see through intimidation. 

There’s a real danger that Yemen will fall to al-Qaida, and their President Saleh uses this to try and control people through fear. The people’s choice: repressive regime or the bogeyman? 

In spite of this potential terror, there are those who no longer are willing to be repressed. And they don’t believe these are the only choices. 

Tawakkol Karman, a female Yemeni activist and writer reported: “We cannot let the bogeyman of al-Qaida and extremism be used to stall historic change in our country; Saleh invokes this threat in an attempt to cling to power, as if he is the only one capable of bringing stability and tackling terrorism. It would be foolish to believe his lies.” 

It reminds me of the empty warning, “no one will ever love you like I do.” Settle for less or be left with something worse or nothing. 

Are you afraid of living your dream? 

What if you try and don’t succeed? 

What-if-the-worse-happens is a tune that plays like a broken record on the shadowy grooves of fear. 

Here’s a mishmash of some of my clients what-ifs: “If I fail, I’ll end up penniless and ashamed, living under a bridge with my dog in a soggy cardboard box, scorned by family and friends saying, ‘I told you so.’” 

What what-if influences you not to live your dreams? What are the odds it will happen?

As Mark Twain said, “I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” 

You’re not born with fear. You learned it.

The movie The Tale of Despereaux is a lesson on how to train an optimistic mouse to be mousy. (Spoiler alert – they didn’t succeed.) 

The Mother instructed: “You can’t be a mouse if you don’t learn to be afraid… There are so many wonderful things in life to be afraid of – if you just learn how scary they are.” 

The timid older brother adds: “Sometimes they just need to see the older ones do it. No one starts out afraid.” 

Guidance given to the parents: “He won’t be afraid unless you allow him to be afraid.” 

What are you afraid of?

Controlling others through trying to shut them up doesn’t just  happen on the other side of the world. We do it to ourselves. 

We’re all bullied by limiting perspectives and illusions that we believe are true. 

For example, do you avoid any of these? 

• Confrontation – so you steer clear of people and situations?
• Contacting someone and being rejected – so you procrastinate?
• Telling the truth – so you tell little lies as a cover up?
• Taking action to live your dream – so you settle for existing rather than living? 

Avoidance is another way you terrorize yourself. It’s a way of shutting you up and shutting you down from really living by keeping you in your place. 

It’s time to speak up and be heard. LISTEN to your heart and soul. 

If you want others to listen to you, start by listening to yourself! 

Here are seven steps to help you LIVE your life: 

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Write your ideal life.
3. Write what your life is like right now.
4. Ask your soul for clear communication.
5. What steps can you take to align your ideal and what is?
6. Take consistent action – even if it’s one small step at a time.
7. Choose to make changes gently, with grace and ease.

 The answers may differ from what you now think.

At first they may not make sense. You may glimpse a piece rather than the whole puzzle. You may see an image rather than words.

Don’t judge them. You’re opening communication and learning your language. If you’re not sure what the answers mean, ask again.

Take a moment now.

Ask your soul to speak up: LOUDLY so you can hear; CLEARLY so you understand without a shadow of a doubt.

The time to be afraid of the bogeyman is gone.

A rose proudly shares its beauty, even though its life is short. A tarantula boldly lives its life for what it is – a tarantula.

It’s time to live your life to the fullest. Empower yourself by asking your soul to speak up – and listen.

SPEAK UP: IT’S TIME TO LIVE YOUR LIFE – PART 1

The top two tactics used by repressive regimes like China are to withhold information, which is harder to do with the internet, and stop people from expressing themselves. 

What about your expression? 

As tempting as it might be to tell your boss, clients, family or friends that they’re idiots in desperate need of an attitude adjustment, it may not be wise. There are times to speak up and times to put things in perspective. 

However, if they cross the line by treating you like yesterday’s trash, then it’s time to express yourself… with as much grace and ease as possible. 

When the pain of withholding is greater than the pain of dealing with a situation, it’s time to express yourself.

This awakening is now happening in the Middle East as expressed on a YouTube video Syria: stand with the protesters.  “They will not be butchered into silence and submission.” 

They have chosen to live their own lives. The consequences of remaining silent surpassed the cost of speaking up. Many are paying a high price for the freedom to express.

I learned this lesson while existing in “a living hell.”

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For the longest time I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

It took me a while to realize I lived with a master manipulator. He knew my vulnerabilities and used them to intimidate and emotionally undermine me while bending me to his will. 

I was bullied to let go of my business and with it financial freedom. He listened in on my phone conversations. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

The stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t even able to speak my words in the right order or have physical energy to move. Enabling this was a belief there was something wrong with me.

Human traffickers and terrorists use similar tactics. Intimidate with threats and play on low self-esteem to create a lack of confidence and dread. Immobilize people through fear of what might happen. 

My unhappiness induced me to question and think.  

There was his reality, but was it true? 

How did I get here? I made a bad choice which put me on a sorrowful path. Regardless of good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away. Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority. Even at risk of losing worldly goods. 

Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a mistake. Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up TO MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient “silence and submission.”

When I got honest with me, changes occurred which made my exit easy. I was packed and gone in three weeks. 

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

How can you access your truth? It’s always within you.  

1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
2. Call forth your soul. It’s not complicated to do. It’s another aspect of you!
3. Request clear communication.
4. Ask questions, such as: 

• Why are things happening in my life this way?
• What’s the truth about a situation?
• What’s the best direction for me to focus on now?
• What action is best to take?

Write or draw your answers. Journaling is a useful tool to speak out and let you know what’s happening within. 

If you need more clarity, ask again. If it doesn’t come in that moment, it will be made known to you at a better time.

 Ready to make your life easier?

• Choose to learn your lessons GENTLY.
• Choose to make changes with ease and grace.
• Choose to take action on your inner guidance.

 The more you speak up, the more you’ll live your life on your terms. 

In Part Two, you’ll learn 7 steps to LIVE your life and 5 ways to stop giving your power away.