Archive for the ‘Talk with your soul’ Category

Stop Giving Your Power Away!

November 11, 2019

i am woman

I am man

Before you read this post, I’d like to thank the veterans for their service on today’s celebration of Veterans Day in the U.S.A.

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras.

Translated: who you are isn’t good enough.

A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates one of the voices that chatters in the back of our heads.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.”

Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line?

This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. You try to fit in because, as a little kiddo, you knew you needed help from others to survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd-pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll rarely be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

  • Trying to please others and worrying about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
  • Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
  • Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
  • Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
  • Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
  • Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE.

Talk with your inner Essence to discover the best path for you: 

  1. Go within and ask your question.
  2. Listen and write your answers.
  3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
  4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning

Reprinted from my May 13, 2011 post.

If you’d like support
in being more empowered,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.
If it’s been a while since you’ve had one,
you’re welcome to contact me again.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Does Your Money Flow Go UP and down? This Could Be Why.

July 22, 2019

A successful woman at the top of her field mentioned that she makes a lot of money… and then she doesn’t.

She had no idea why her money flow went UP and down.

I told her she’s right. There’s a part of her that has absolutely no idea why. None at all.

However, there’s another part of her that does. Then I asked the part of her that does for the answer to why.


Whereas before she didn’t have a clue, suddenly she got it. 

When she was a child, her parents frequently said that people who have money are greedy. 


Of course, she doesn’t want to be greedy. So although she would make a lot of money, following would be a dry spell.

I recommended she journal about it to gain further insights after her session, which she did.

Now that she’s aware of the issue, she’s consciously choosing not to go along with thoughts of limitation when they pop in her head. Instead, she’s replacing them with more prosperous ideas.

FIVE DAYS LATER, and following a business lull, she’s in the process of closing deals around $2 1/2 million in addition to earning the business of two new, big clients.

If you want more money and don’t know what to do, use this technique described above. Your answer may surprise you. 


If you’d like help in 
discovering why some aspect of
your life or business isn’t working
and what to do about it,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.


Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.



Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What Stem Cells, Your Success and Relationships Have in Common

February 25, 2019

Neurons from Stem Cells

I just finished watching a nine episode docuseries on stem cells, “The Healing Miracle: The Truth about Stem Cells.” Although available now for those willing to look past the often prejudiced knowledge of naysayers, stem cells are the future of mainstream medicine because of their quick effectiveness and safety.

In my super simplistic, layman’s interpretation, healthy stem cells are injected into an area of the body in need, because of pain, aging or injury. The stem cells send a signal to neighboring dysfunctional cells reminding them that they can get their act together and be healthy. (I told you this was simplistic.)

Here’s a technically accurate explanation. By the way, if you go to this website, they have cute pictures to describe the process.

“Cells can detect what’s going on around them, and they can respond in realtime to cues from their neighbors and environment. At this very moment, your cells are sending and receiving millions of messages in the form of chemical signaling molecules!

“Cells typically communicate using chemical signals. These chemical signals, which are proteins or other molecules produced by a sending cell, are often secreted from the cell and released into the extracellular space. There, they can float – like messages in a bottle – over to neighboring cells.

“Cell-cell signaling involves the transmission of a signal from a sending cell to a receiving cell.”

https://www.khanacademy.org/science/biology/cell-signaling/mechanisms-of-cell-signaling/a/introduction-to-cell-signaling

Let’s switch gears to a metaphysical approach on signaling – why what you think about others affects them.

“We cannot focus upon the weaknesses of one another and evoke strengths. You cannot focus upon the things that you think they are doing wrong, and evoke things that will make you feel better. You’ve got to beat the drum that makes you feel good when you beat it. And when you do, you’ll be a strong signal of influence that will help them to reconnect with who they are.”

Abraham-Hicks


Let’s connect the dots by taking this another step.

  • Cells communicate to each another by sending and receiving signals.
  • Focusing on others’ weaknesses and what they did wrong can’t make them strong or you feel good. However, “a strong signal of influence” “will help them to reconnect with who they are.”
  • As cells, including your own, can send healthy signals that can be received, and we send signals in relationships that can strengthen others and us, it makes sense that we’re sending signals to our cells, ourselves and others about our self-concept. Whatever thoughts and feelings we signal impact our success and relationships.
  • What signals are you sending about your self-concept? Success or failure? Your answer is a clue to why your life is the way it is.

In Soulgoals, we begin masterminding for our goals with this phrase:

I choose and I am willing to receive this or something better.

First, you make a clear choice. What is it that you want? What do you choose?

Then you must be willing to receive it. Your ability to receive is dependent upon your self-concept and what you’re telling yourself.

A client told me it made sense that her thinking and feelings could create money.

It surprised her to discover that she could stop debilitating migraines on command.

What stops our ability to receive and respond are hidden beliefs. One of the many ways they reveal themselves is when we reply with “Yes but.” 
You control your success and destiny.

Everything is given according to your belief.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved

12 Quotes by Louise Hay and Inscriptions She Wrote in My Books

September 17, 2018

Hay list

 

Louise Hay was a multi-national, best-selling author, speaker and founder of Hay House.  I heard her speak following the publication of her best-selling classic You Can Heal Your Life. Included in this is her famous The List, which correlates diseases and the probable thought patterns that caused them as well as affirmations to assist in healing. The first page from The List is shown above.

In the late 1980s, here’s the inscription she wrote in my copy of the book You Can Heal Your Life:

Love and Joy
Louise

At the turn of this century, I again heard her speak along with other featured guests when I went to Houston for a day-long seminar. Her inscription, when she signed my book The Power is Within You, changed slightly:

Virginia –
Love & Power!
Louise Hay

She became immensely popular by inspiring millions who could hear her messages. In Dr. Wayne Dyer’s words, “Louise Hay writes to your soul… where all healing begins.”

Which one of her quotes found below resonates with you the most?

With gratitude,

Virginia

“You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.”

“Every thought we think is creating our future.”

“If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.”

“Look at the ‘problems’ in your life. Ask yourself, ‘What kind of thoughts am I having that create this?'”

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.”

“No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind.”

“Be willing to take the first step, no matter how small it is.”

“Concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn. Absolute miracles will happen.”

“I have noticed that the Universe loves Gratitude. The more Grateful you are, the more goodies you get”

“Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!”

“Begin to recognize prosperity everywhere, and rejoice in it.”

This is the top quote on her website, which commemorates her. She was 90 when she passed. (1926 – 2017):

“In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete.”

If you’d like help to create
a life or business you love,
contact me for a
complimentary Do What You Love
Break Free Session at:

virginia@teamingwithsuccess.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals. 

 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Feeling Overwhelmed?

February 5, 2018

overwhelm

Life is moving quickly. For me, lots of my goals are manifesting, which is a good thing. Because they’re happening all at once, though, I started feeling overwhelmed.

Here are just a few highlights from this week only:

Choosing colors and painting a room; writing copy and meeting with web designers; servicemen working on my computer, completion of installation of antennas on my roof and wiring for a cell phone booster plus my internet; meeting with clients; multiple deadlines; purchasing a variety of new equipment; helping several friends; seeing two new health practitioners; and a toilet that needs a new overflow assembly (what a metaphor). You get the idea. I share this because perhaps, with whatever you’re experiencing, you can relate.

Most of these required many hours of research and learning about stuff I never thought I’d care about, from oscillation of electronic signals to website divis to which surge protectors’ ohms, joules and products actually can protect my various electronic devices. This had to be done before I could even start, purchase correct items; converse with and hire the right people, make intelligent decisions or fix mistakes from when I didn’t know any better.


Creating momentum is a key to success.

However, when catching up started to feel like I was being dragged behind, I knew I was beginning to be out of sync with myself.

The pace didn’t feel good, and I started to feel pressure. I was making great progress, but it wasn’t enjoyable.

Life sends us a HUGE clue that we’ve wandered off the yellow brick road when we’re not feeling good.

Instead of creating a story justifying why I felt this way, I got quiet and listened to my inner voice for guidance.

What I heard was to set an intention for my life to be in divine order, balance and flow.


In the following days, I noticed I was still busy. But things were getting done easier, and I felt more on top of activities instead of getting run over by them. I took time over the weekend to rest, too.

By intending divine order, everything doesn’t happen at once, even if they’re good things.

By intending divine balance, we allow a bigger perspective to orchestrate our lives instead of pushing ahead from a limited viewpoint.

By intending divine flow, we allow ourselves to be in harmony with a natural rhythm of life instead of focusing on chaos, what’s not working or getting sucked into other people’s flows .

From my upcoming e-book 4 Keys to Be Richly Compensated Doing What You Love:

When you get out of your own way, you allow your goals to manifest with grace and ease instead of trying to make things happen.

From my Resolved for Results program:

TIP: If you choose a life of divine flow, but don’t believe that asking for it can make a difference, surrender the doubt, the part that doesn’t believe. Choose to be open and willing to receive what you ask for.

Are you feeling overwhelmed or wondering how you’re going to keep up? Many people are either doing their best to stay afloat or bravely going into the unknown as they take their lives to another level.

Either way, life can be busy and even confusing.

Moving ahead in ways with which you’re not familiar often creates emotional discomfort.

Why? Your inner essence is guiding you forward in a direction so you can have what you want, the change for which you’ve been asking. Your physical brain, on the other hand, doesn’t have new neural pathways in place to make sense of it all… yet. In time, it will.

Setting intentions can be a lifesaver. They take mere seconds to think or say, don’t cost a cent and take no effort. The more you allow yourself to believe and receive, the better they work.

Instead of just putting up with whatever’s going on in your life, ask your inner wisdom for direction.

You can experiment with choosing to be in divine order, balance and flow. What do you have to lose except frustration, overwhelm and stress?

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
 who choose to share their gifts
 or business in a BIGGER way
 but don't know how, feel stuck
 or would benefit from new tools
 or support.
 
 I help them be richly compensated
 doing what they love by aligning
 with their Soul's goals.

TIP: 1 Simple Step for Your Dreams to Come True

January 18, 2016

two roads convergingBefore looking at why we have a habit of complicating the uncomplicated, let’s start with the punch line.

The way to get what you want is to feel good on the inside, as if you’re already living your dream. Then, because like attracts like, you’re an energetic match for what you choose.

Your dream and your life come together as one, like two roads converging.

Vision + Feeling = Dreams Come True

Not hardly? Here’s how best intentions end up looking like gremlins sneaked up on your life while you were sleeping and created havoc.

Let’s say, you aren’t as far along as you think you should be.

You did all the “right” things which shoulda given you a bag of treats with a smiley face, but it’s looking more like a bag of tricks.

Or maybe you really screwed up. The damage is done. Plus, you can’t forgive yourself.

Or maybe you’re at such and such an age. By now, you think you should’ve accomplished certain goals – financial, career, relationship, health, personal – it really doesn’t matter why you’ve been shoulding on yourself.

So, on one side, you have your coulda woulda shouldas. You’ve been beating yourself up about them, too.

On the other are your dreams.

Here’s where your inner gremlin creates mischief.

It’s essential to believe in yourself living your dreams, without vacillating between what if you could actually have them and fretting about what if it you don’t.

If your focus is on your so-called reality, you’ll create more of your reality. If you’re aware of your current conditions, but remain steadfast on the feeling of living your dream, your point of attraction will shift in that direction. Inspired action follows. What you focus on grows.

You are creating your “reality” through how you react to people and circumstances, the choices you make, and how you think and feel.

Martin Luther King claimed his dream in his famous speech. It was spoken in present time as if it already happened:

 I have a dream today!

Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

TIP: 1 Simple Step for Your Dreams to Come True

Ask yourself what you do you really, really want?

Sink into the feeling as if you already are living it. This will feel comforting and happy.

You’ll feel bad if you start judging yourself because you’re not there. Refocus. You have the ability to be in control of your feelings. It’s just a habit to believe otherwise. Now, don’t judge yourself for having that habit. Everyone does to a point. It just takes practice to shift your attention.

Your Essence is pure, positive energy. Ask for help from your Wise Self. That’s the real YOU.

YOU are always, always here for the asking.

You know when you’re connected when you have good feeling mojo.

The more you allow your vision and your feelings to merge as One, the more you allow yourself to feel comforted and pleased and happy with the feeling of living your dream, the more quickly you’ll see results.

If you commiserate with others about how things aren’t working, don’t share your precious dreams. You’ll have faster results if you surround yourself with positive, supportive people, like those on a mastermind team.

Feel it now to live it. The one simple step for your dreams to come true.

TIP: How to Stay Motivated

January 11, 2016

What's Your Why

What would you like your year to bring? More money and time? Smoother family life? Fun and friends? Relaxation and vacations? Better health? Big dreams coming true?

Without knowing “your why,” the reason your goal is important to you, your motivation can become like a wind-up toy that ran out of its wind-up. Soon after, you return to the same ole, same ole way you’ve always done things. Add to this frustration and disappointment.

More money is appealing. But money for money’s sake may not provide enough incentive to create more cha-ching in your life.

In the movie Joy, Jennifer Lawrence’s character was highly motivated not to quit. Against all odds, she dug deep and found reasons to keep going. Because she knew her “why,” she found a way out of overwhelming failure to experience success.

Interestingly, sometimes a reason to accomplish goals is a gut-level determination to take care of yourself or stop playing small. The line is drawn in the sand. You’re no longer going to tolerate what’s not working. You’re inspired.

Following are excerpts from my Resolved for Results course to help you stay motivated and get in touch with your why – the soul of your goal:

Have you ever desired something and, when you got it, realized it wasn’t what you really wanted? You asked for a specific outcome but didn’t clarify the soul of your goal, its essence.

Well, that explains the divorce rate.

Have you ever desired something, got something else instead, and then realized it was better than what you asked for? You tapped into the soul of your goal.

Sally’s ideal scenario included very specific details, including marrying a 6’ 2” red- haired man who owned a 10,000 acre ranch.

I asked if she would like to have several employees around all day because, with a spread that size, she could attract a working ranch.

That was absolutely not her intention. She wanted the acreage for privacy. She could have received what she asked for and not been happy… along with a man who fit her description but didn’t share her values. She didn’t mention any.

When I looked for a house, the soul of my goal included a low maintenance, wooded area offering privacy but not seclusion.

I bought a home at the end of a cul-de-sac in a country subdivision with a Xeriscaped lawn. It’s surrounded by trees, a greenbelt in the back, and a fenced-in 1000 acre, exotic wildlife ranch next to a neighboring tree-filled lot.

Have you pursued a goal, got discouraged or sidetracked, then lost energy to keep going? If you don’t have a compelling reason, “your why” that underlies your goal, it’s easy to get off-track, lose motivation, and quit.

TIP: How to Stay Motivated

Be still and go within. Ask your soul why your goal is important to you.  Intend to get an answer. Now write about it so that you tap into your gut-level reason of why you choose this. Write so authentically that it can bring tears to your eyes.

Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.

Be open to receive.

You Already Know What to Do

December 14, 2015

inspiration you seekA woman was given a week’s notice that her job, which included a place to live and a car, was terminated. After releasing her fear and asking for help within, she quickly learned about another position. Grateful, she was happy that her new employment seemed better than her old one.

Needing results fast and desperately, though, doesn’t always allow for the ideal results. Soon after, she realized the job was a trap. She received far less pay, had more stress, her boss rudely intruded on what little free time she had, and all she could manage was work and sleep.

Anger grew from a spark to a blaze. Once again, she was in a dead end situation. Not enough resources to make a move. People using her and not appreciating her talents. Upset with herself. No life other than work. Unhappy. Stuck. Not making what she’s worth. At the mercy of others. Not living her dream. inn

She thought she could deal with it, but the stress, including her emotional reaction to it, exhausted her body, mind and spirit. She had little choice but to shift her focus to regaining her strength.

Recognizing that resisting her circumstances was harming her, she paused, got quiet and listened.

A new perspective inspired her.

Stop investing her emotions on being upset. Take time to recoup and feel better. Stop hoping her boss would see the light. Wake up to see that years were passing her by while waiting for conditions to be just right to live her dreams. There is no more perfect time than now. Make a plan to move forward. Take action.

She felt at peace and is now patiently following what she learned from her inner guidance.

Be at peace. Go within. Listen. Act.

You don’t need to be a psychic to hear the inner whispers of wisdom and direction. Your messages will be skewed, though, when charged by emotions. Go into the silence to hear. It’s your natural state. Listen to its insight.

“Inner guidance is heard like soft music in the night by those who have learned to listen.” Vernon Howard

TIP: You Know What to Do

Confused about your next step? Unclear how to move your business or career forward?  Wondering why some people act certain ways?

Create a space where you feel connected and peaceful. Take a walk. Breathe deeply. Meditate. Journal. Enjoy a cup of tea or coffee while alone and muse.

Think of yourself as a receiver, like a satellite dish. The channel with answers to your questions is available.

Turn the dish in the direction where you’re open to receive them.

How? Go into the stillness. Ask, and it will be given.

Although a part of you may be clueless, another part of you knows what to do. Be patient and allow the answers to come.

If you’d enjoy support, validation or additional insights, you are welcome to receive a one-hour complimentary Do What You Love Break Free Session. Leave me a comment for more information.

STOP GIVING YOUR POWER AWAY & LIVE YOUR DREAMS

May 19, 2011

“Why can’t you be more like ­­­­­­­­­­your cousins?” was one of my mother’s mantras. Translated: who you are isn’t good enough. A funny twist is when I told this to my cousin, she said her mother implied she should have been more like me!

My mother passed away in 1988, and I still remember her mantras verbatim. Early programming is powerful. It creates the voice that chatters in the back of your head.

Families share attitudes, perspectives and behaviors. The next generation perpetuates how they’ve been raised by passing it on to their children – until someone like you decides to wake up and make more conscious choices.

This pattern is referred to in Exodus 34:7. “Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”

You can break the patterns. It starts by becoming aware of them and making new choices… and realizing you are more than good enough.

Here’s another of mom’s favorites: “Where did you get those crazy ideas? You certainly didn’t get them from anyone on my side of the family.” Translated: there’s something wrong with you and the way you think.

The underlying message?

You’re making me uncomfortable, so stop it. I might have to think or change. That ain’t gonna happen if I can help it. It’s easier for me to lay guilt or blame on you rather than look at myself. A tool I know to keep you in line is to shame you into humble submission. So I can try to control the way you think to make it more like what I’m used to.  So I can maintain my false sense of empowerment.

This isn’t a fault of my mom or anyone else (and we’ve all done things like this in the past). She replicated what she was taught and did the best she could.

What do you do when someone tries to make you feel uncomfortable about being you and living your dreams?

Do you stuff what you feel and tow the line? This may be what you’ve been taught to do from infancy. If you don’t fit in, you won’t survive.

If the family says you’re stupid, out comes the crowd pleasing town idiot. You learned to dumb down.

If the family wants you to follow their traditions, you’ll do whatever it takes to belong and be loved. Even if it means you just get crumbs of love. Even if you’re drowning in what floats their boat.

Remember, you’ll never be able to please others as they’ll keep changing the hoop they want you to jump through.

In the early days of protest, the Yemenis chanted: “If, one day, a people desires to live, then destiny will answer their call.”

Do you desire to live, I mean really live? That means, not living to please other people.

Are you not living your truth, what’s in your heart, because you’re afraid of the consequences?  Instead, take time for you, your goals and your life.

If you’re existing, just getting by, you’re not living.

To live instead of exist, you must stop giving your power away.

Stop giving away your power by:

  • Trying to please others and being worried about what they think. Instead, follow your inner guidance, your heart, your gut.
  • Living in worry and fear. Instead of thinking what’s wrong or what could go wrong, think about what’s right or could go right.
  • Talking about others and blaming them. Instead, take responsibility for your actions and life.
  • Feeling sorry for yourself, regardless of your circumstances. Instead, look at “what is” and make new choices and actions.
  • Avoiding situations or not telling the truth. Instead, speak up – at least to yourself!
  • Making excuses, aka reasons, to not live your dreams. Instead, stand up for your passion and take action, even small steps. If it doesn’t work one way, do it another.

Don’t make yourself wrong, feel guilty or have regrets about what you haven’t done or your past. What you learned brought you to where you are today.

Instead, make a decision to make new choices. You are so powerful that when you say “I choose,” you set forces in motion to redirect your life.

Use your power to live, really LIVE. 

Talk with your soul to discover the best path for you: 

  1. Go within and ask your question.
  2. Listen and write your answers.
  3. Ask for clarity and/or action steps to take.
  4. Take action – consistently.

Take a moment now to breathe and do these four steps.

The Beginning