Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Forgiveness and Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

November 19, 2018

 

blessings

May you enjoy this season of giving thanks and the sentiments expressed in the reprint from last year’s Thanksgiving post, found after my today’s italicized message to you.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool to help you break free.

We’re rarely angry for the reason we think we’re angry. How dare they!

That feeling is not about the other person or situation being wrong. The emotion triggered may be from a similar, emotional memory or our perception that may or may not be accurate.

Have you noticed how sometimes people can jump to the wrong conclusion and then become upset by their interpretation, even if it’s false?

Regardless if the other was right or actually the wrongdoer, holding on to a lack of forgiveness or a one-sided, limiting perspective can feel empowering. It can feel validating, proof that you’re right and the other is wrong.

The ego loves feeling right.

There might even be another side of the story that you’re not considering because you’re locked into your viewpoint.

Your Essence knows the trap of self-righteousness and sees things differently.

A mother copped an attitude about erroneous, perceived activity by her senior-aged daughter. Rather than talk about it or seeing proof to the contrary, she set a court date. The whole issue could be easily dismissed, but not even going to mediation altered her perspective.

Replacing her anger, frustration, hurt and fear of what her own mother was doing to her, the daughter began to send her mother love, disregarding any unforgiving attitudes. The mother’s now softening and questioning her hardline approach.

Empowerment through shifting your perspective to love and gratitude are more truly empowering than feeling justification through a lack of forgiveness. Maybe there’s another angle you’re overlooking.

Perhaps, given an opportunity, you can clear the energy through discussion or seeing things from another viewpoint.

Even if others are wrong, you can be emotionally free.

With gratitude,

Virginia

The reprinted post:

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.“ Melodie Beattie


When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude.“  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]


 
Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks!“ Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.20

 


[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has.“ Matthew 13:12, American King James Version


[Look how similar this is.]

“If you are grateful, I will give you more.”  The Koran 14:7


[Don’t wait to be grateful one day of the year.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you…

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.“ Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich


 

What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?

During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude; it’s living in a state of gratitude, continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously.

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude.

However, when I catch myself, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

 
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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He Floated Like a Butterfly and Stung Like a Bee

October 15, 2018

 

Ali

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. His hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see. Now you see me, now you don’t. George thinks he will, but I know he won’t.”

Who we came to know as Muhammad Ali was born Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. on January 17, 1942, in Louisville, Kentucky.

During the 74 years that he was with us, Ali rocked the world as a heavyweight champion in boxing, philanthropist and activist. Often controversial, he was also inspiring and demonstrated a stunning belief in himself.

In 1964, Sonny Liston was the World Heavyweight Champion. Although Cassius Clay was the top contender for the title, he was the 7-1 underdog. Yet, he taunted Liston saying things like he was a “the big ugly bear,” smelled like one and “after I beat him I’m going to donate him to the zoo.”

Before the fight, Clay’s pulse, usually at 54, was measured at 120.

Some wondered if his behavior was from fear and questioned if he would show up for the fight.

Then, after a monumental upset with Clay as the victor, he declared:

“Eat your words. I am the greatest! I shook up the world. I’m the prettiest thing that ever lived.”

At age 22, he became the youngest boxer to take the title from a reigning heavyweight champion… a distinction he held until Mike Tyson broke that record in 1986.

May Ali’s words inspire you to greatness and believing in yourself.

“I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.”

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.”

“A man who has no imagination has no wings.”

“Impossible is just a word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

“What keeps me going is goals.”

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep condition, things begin to happen.

“Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right.”

 

 
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love. 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

The Mindset of Will Smith who Bungee Jumped into the Grand Canyon

October 1, 2018

will smith

On his 50th birthday, actor Will Smith bungee jumped off the side of a helicopter into the Grand Canyon.

“Don’t look down. Never look down,” he can be heard saying before the jump.

Then, with crowds watching and cameras rolling, he let go, pushed himself off, dove backwards with arms outstretched and had the time of his life.

During the jump he exclaimed, while sandwiched between the magnificent Grand Canyon below and expansive clouds above, “This is gorgeous. This is gorgeous… This is some of the most beautiful stuff I’ve ever seen in my life. This is gorgeous. Beautiful. Beautiful… From pure terror to absolute bliss’

After several minutes he said, “I’m ready for them to put my a_ _ down, though. I can tell you that much.”

Here’s the jump on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uilQxtVvpQ

Will Smith was born on September 25th, 1968, to a middle-class, Philadelphia family. Newsweek has called him “the most powerful actor in Hollywood.” He’s won four Grammy Awards and has also been nominated for two Academy Awards and four Golden Globe Awards.

What’s the mindset of someone who creates a life like this? Read his quotes below. No limits for this man!

“I want to represent the idea that you really can make what you want … I believe I can create whatever I want to create.”

“The first step before anyone else in the world believes it is you have to believe it.”

“The first step is you have to say that you can.”

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions.”

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

“Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity.”

“Greatness is not this wonderful, esoteric, elusive, godlike feature that only the special among us will ever taste; it’s something that truly exists in all of us.”

“Life is lived on the edge.”

“You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say I’m gonna build the biggest, baddest wall that’s ever been built. You say, I’m gonna lay this brick, as perfectly as a brick can be laid, and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall. It’s difficult to take the first step when you look at how big the task is. The task is never huge to me, it’s always one brick.”

“I don’t know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived.”

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are Negative People Dragging You Down?

June 11, 2018

downer

“What caused you to generate over $7.6 million in sales in just the first five months of this year but only $3.5 million in sales last year,” I asked.

He replied, “I didn’t realize what a downer my employee was on my attitude. What a negative drag on me! I didn’t want to deal with her. When she quit, a dark cloud lifted.”

“After she left, I had to step up my game, starting with my attitude that was in a funk. I used to spend days frustrated and mad at her, which stopped me from doing positive things.

“I had a choice: be positive and grateful or stay in a funk, which equaled less productivity. I chose to embrace my new freedom and move forward.

“Was I going to operate by myself or replace her? I decided I didn’t need a crutch nor did I need to hire anybody. Instead, I decided to have a better attitude.”

The reason he held onto his employee for so long is that he didn’t have her computer skills, which are essential in his business. So he leaned on her, although it was an ongoing struggle. She acted like she owned the business and he was her employee, even though he is a well-seasoned expert in his field!

“I’m way happier now. I changed from being needy, clutchy, clingy and dependent. My confidence is back.”

He continued by saying, “The Law of Attraction is real. Asking the universe is real.”

Life reflected back to him what was in his attitude and focus – lack and frustration or abundance and happiness.
 


“The difference between the last five months and the previous 18 months is a slow creep of frustration, despair and anger, which had weaved its web around me.

“Now I’m blessed with an abundance of opportunities because of a change in my current attitude, mindset and outlook.


He got his lesson about negative people dragging him down:

“Two weeks ago, I even fired a client who was disrespectful, unappreciative and not following my recommendations.”

After he explained the circumstances, it was clear that their business relationship had been headed for a miserable dead end. Now, not feeling needy for money or anything else, he no longer was willing to put up with the client’s attitude, which increasingly would’ve become an unproductive and unsatisfying investment of his own time and energy.

He learned his lesson about how negative people can drag him down and how it becomes a slippery slope that can leave a person hitting bottom wondering, “What just happened? How did I get here?”

Are you allowing negative people in your life?  If so, what price are you paying for that choice? What are you learning?

It’s okay if you are. We all learn by discovering that a choice of action may not produce the results for which we hoped. However, you can make new choices. Again. And again…

You have options, such as a change in attitude, a change in people or circumstances.

Or maybe you’ll discover that there’s something about you that’s creating a downer for others.

Einstein is quoted to have said: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.”

A common trap is to expect solutions to come in a way using familiar thinking, even though that thinking is what created our problems. We sometimes look for validation that we’re right instead of being willing to receive new ideas, tools and insights.

Howard Hestand, a client who improved his portfolio 80% in three months, expressed his shift in thinking like this. Although he’s referring to my Soulgoals program, I mention it because these are key elements for anyone looking to change for the better.

“This course taught me a different way of thinking, how to listen to myself, be more observational about the ego and set effective goals and intentions.”

To solve problems, regardless if you’ve been “downed” or the downer, the way out is being open to new approaches. As Einstein implies, the new thinking will be different from how we believe life works.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck, could
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

The BEST New Year’s Resolution

January 1, 2018

happy new year 2018

When I was a little girl, I asked my mother what should I be. I wanted her answer to be about my future profession, like a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker.

She always replied that she wanted me to be happy, which seemed at the time a lame response.

The older I get and the more I know about life, though, I realize what a wise answer it was.

Why being happy matters

As like attracts like, the more we’re happy, the more happy experiences we’ll attract.

Feeling good allows us not only to achieve our goals but continue to manifest more.

We can be rich, powerful, famous and living the dream, but if we’re not happy, well, life isn’t much fun. Living in stress, worry, fear, sadness or struggle can destroy our physical, financial, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Happiness doesn’t come because we have everything we want; we won’t enjoy them and may find that they slip away if we don’t feel good.

Stress, anxiety and worry are only habits that don’t serve you or anyone else. 

Feeling afraid because of lack of money, love or health won’t change when you have everything money can and can’t buy. If these ways of thinking are habitual, you’d find something to get you bent out of shape.

Ever notice people (maybe you) who always have a reason to complain or feel bad? Even when things are great, they find something that’s not good enough.

Be happy. Find a silver lining no matter what.

You might be thinking that I don’t understand. You’ve got a lot of problems. You’ve been done wrong. You’ve experienced loss, and you’re afraid the proverbial other shoe might fall. You’ve been living in pain. You’ve had the worse things happen to you.

I really do get it because when everything in my life was falling apart, I knew I’d lose it all if I stepped onto the slippery slope of fear. My negativity would have made things go from bad to worse.

So I made a decision to feel good. To feel good in spite of it all.

Step at a time, sometimes baby steps, my life got better and better and better.

 


 

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to resolve to feel good. With this decision all things or something better are possible.

It really is a choice.

You have complete control over your perspective, regardless of the situation. Your interpretation of events, your life, your success or manifesting your dreams is your key to the door of happiness, misery or getting what you most want.

Your energy will draw to you more of how you feel.

How in the world can you feel good in spite of the odds? Be grateful.


 

A client gifted me a handmade journal with an embroidered peacock on the cover that she bought in one of my favorite museums. It’s so beautiful that I decided I only wanted beautiful words in it. Another client on her team suggested a journaling exercise that makes her feel good.

Write what’s working in your life.

Soon after, on a day when everything was uncharacteristically out-of-synch, I couldn’t leave town to go to a party for me!  Instead of having a hissy fit, I grabbed my new journal and wrote on the entire first page the many things that are going well.

Focusing on gratitude shifted my energy, allowed me to let go of the stress and be in present time. Of course, the change in plans turned out to be way better.

HAPPY New Year to you.

Hint: the clue is in the greeting. The first word is HAPPY.

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to feel good and be happy.

You can use feeling good as your inner GPS to know if you’re on the right track or not. It may be that the only thing needed for you to be happy is an attitude adjustment. Also, how you feel can be an indicator that you’re on the right path or heading in a direction that no longer serves you or maybe never did.

If you decide a change is needed, feel good about where you are, even if you don’t like it. Then line up your energy by feeling good about your new direction and take actions for something better.

Happy New Year! It’s your choice to parrot the words or make them come true for you!

May you enjoy your happiest year ever!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

What Do People Hear You Say When You’re Not Talking?

December 4, 2017

 

Khan

This photo of Khizr Khan, as he came onto the stage with the light on the audience, exemplifies how he highlights and respects others.

 

His peace and centeredness said volumes before he spoke a word.

When he stepped onto the stage, the atmosphere in the recording studio noticeably shifted; the audience immediately felt on a threshold to witness a message that would move the spirit as well as the mind. This wasn’t going to be a routine interview by Evan Smith for his PBS TV show “Overheard.”

Originally from Pakistan, Khizr Khan’s stories depicted a heartfelt gratitude and love for the United States, from an immigrant’s perspective who felt privileged to receive law degrees, first in Punjab and then at Harvard.

It wasn’t just the moving depiction of his first encounters of the generosity of Americans that began to touch my heart.

Tears misted my eyes because he helped me see the world as he sees it, with profound appreciation and goodwill.

As a Gold Star father, his focus wasn’t on the loss of his son while defending his country in Iraq.

We heard about the character of and respect for United States Army Captain Humayun Khan from a story he shared through the eyes of a 10-year-old boy who his son mentored.

Through the eyes of Khizr Khan, I found a deeper gratitude for living in this country of freedom.

I was inspired anew by Ronald Reagan’s election eve address “A Vison for America” when he referred to being “committed to that vision of a shining ‘city on a hill.'”

In his non-political message, Mr. Khan’s very presence inspired us never to give up faith in the goodness of people, freedom and the ideals set forth by the founders of the U.S. Constitution.

How can your presence affect your success?

A client was getting ready for an important presentation. His team prepared charts and figures designed to make his offer so impressive that his prospect would have to say yes.

I told him that he would be hired because of his energy and who he is. While the charts are wonderful, they would be window dressing.

When his prospect couldn’t make their scheduled appointment and didn’t return follow up calls, he thought his window of opportunity closed.


As part of his mastermind team’s assignment, my client was reading the following ideas in Wallace D. Wattles’ classic The Science of Getting Rich. 

“Convey the impression of advancement with everything you do, so that all people shall receive the impression that you are an Advancing Man, and that you advance all who deal with you.”


Turns out that his prospect had been busy and did call back. At that time, my client was so filled with the attitude to “convey to their minds the impression of increase” that, without the charts and during that phone conversation, the man agreed for them to do business together.

His energy of conveying increase spoke louder than marketing tools, inspired his words and went beyond his talking.

You can be a success, whatever that means to you, beyond any of your perceived limitations.

You can be a success regardless of how much money or titles you have or don’t have, who you know or your lack of connections, your education, your past so-called “failures,” your personal shortcomings or the state of your health.

Within you currently exists a bounty of life-supporting energy to attract the success you choose, in any and every area of your life!

Focus on energy of well-being and increase to all instead of what’s not working.

When you do this, people who are open to well-being and increase will hear you beyond any words you speak.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

November 20, 2017

perspective

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love, and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest.

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.– Melodie Beattie


 

When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude. –  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]  



Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks! – Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.2



[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has. – Matthew 13:12, American King James Version 


 

[Look how similar this is.]

If you are grateful, I will give you more.  –  The Koran 14:7



[Don’t wait for one day of the year to be grateful.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you… 

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously. Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

 


What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?


During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude, it’s living in a state of gratitude continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously. 

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude. When I’ve practiced it, though, my life continues to improve.

However, when I catch myself straying into the hinterlands, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful instead.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

When Things Fall Into Place… In Spite of How It Looks to the Contrary

October 2, 2017

magic

 

I had a list of deadlines, and I didn’t know how to accomplish them.

As getting worried and trying to make things work just flusters me and makes my actions ineffective, I skipped that step.

So, I observed rather than reacted. I had a few gasps of what’s-going-on when surprises came, and then I let them go. And when I did, things worked out.

Room and car rental reservations went askew, then came together improved.

People showed up from unexpected sources when it looked like they wouldn’t. Not always the way I thought they would but usually better.

Support magically came my way on a hodgepodge of issues, one after the other.

Without fanfare or praying to be saved, I let go and let God.

Being open to receive and an attitude of “things either are going to work or not work” allowed me to let go emotionally.

Why bother getting upset over things not happening the way I think they should or didn’t happen yet?

Trying to control the uncontrollable never helps.

Even though I felt emotionally detached, I held a clear vision of my outcomes manifesting while I released the need to know how.

Step at a time, they worked out! Sometimes minutes after I realized I had an issue, the answer appeared.


The day after a life-changing event, someone shared with me potentially bigger changes. Practically speaking, the prospects didn’t look good.

The consensus of everyone in power was this is a done deal. It would be easier on them if they could just close out the issue and move on.

That seemed better for everyone except the woman who was told she’d have to sell her car, move out of town, live away from friends and neighbors, and lose her home she’s lived in for decades. 

My suggestion: ultimately, if you can’t find a solution, then let it go. 

However, don’t start with the premise that nothing can be done. With this perspective, solutions won’t be found. Instead, start with the end in mind.

See that this can work, then look for ways how. The answers present themselves in divine right timing.

I received an update a few minutes ago. A week after she was told she’d have to give up her home and car, ways were found to keep them! 


There’s always a soulution to a problem. In fact, it exists before we become aware of the issue.

Know that within you are your new directions, answers and clarity — for your business, work and life. You can reveal these by allowing the swirl of emotions to calm so you can hear your quiet voice within.

Instead of trying to make things happen, allow yourself to receive.

Focus on a solution, and things can fall into place, in spite of how it looks to the contrary.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.