Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

What You Can Do When Someone Pushes Your Buttons

October 16, 2019

 

 

 

Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed.

Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

 

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH, MAYBE YOU’RE GOING IN THE WRONG DIRECTION

October 7, 2019

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.
I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

If you’re ready for miracles in your life, it helps to know how to find them.

Remember this game?  Children look for an object and are told cold, warm or hot as they get further away or closer to it.

Life gives you clues like this, too, so you’ll know if you’re on the right track.

  • You’re cold when you feel like you’re pushing a brick wall, and it won’t budge.
  • You’re warm when you feel like you’re in the flow, enjoying a magic carpet ride.
  • You’re hot when you’re manifesting (what you want happens).

What can that look like in real life?

Ever make yourself wrong when you don’t have energy to do what you think you “should”?

Yes, sometimes you just have to take action to get your mojo running.

Sometimes you need a course correction. Even if it’s the right goal, it could be the wrong approach or attitude.

When you feel like a fish swimming upstream, maybe it’s because you’re going against the flow. 

Another way to know? If you’re moping, whining, angry, frustrated, complaining, fearful or worried, you splashed ashore. You jumped out of the flow and became a fish out of water.

This is a good time to pause and observe. What makes you happy?

Do you really have to force yourself to go in the direction you’re going – and the way you’re doing it? 

Let yourself be guided by the flow instead of trying to make things happen.

Here’s how I went from cold to hot in manifesting.

 I decided to get living room furniture. 

 I had images of what I wanted. The back of the sofa had curved lines. Because I enjoy holiday decorating, I wanted the sofa to be red or green.

 COLD: I became irritated whenever I went to a store. I couldn’t find what I wanted. Shopping was laborious. Spending all that money and not enjoying it didn’t seem right. So I stopped forcing myself to shop.

 Soon after, new neighbors moved in next door. Their previous home was twice the size and several hours away.

 Not knowing which living room set to use until they could try them out in their new home, they brought both of them.

HOT: They sold me the sofa from their rarely used formal living room, nicely protected in movers’ plastic. The back? Curved. Colors? Red and green.

 Added to this was the entire living room set: two end tables; a coffee table; two lamps; rug; chair; and a throw blanket. Anxious to clear their garage, they sold all of it to me for $175! All items looked brand new!

 Instead of pricey delivery costs because I live out-of-town from the stores, we only had to move it across the yard.

 My lack of interest and irritation was my guidance telling me to stop shopping.

Here are some components that allowed me to manifest the furniture: 

  • Made a choice – I decided to have new living room furniture.
  • Identified details – I only had images about the colors and curved back, so I had my attention on those. I worked with what I knew, and that was enough.
  • Took action – Shopping focused my energy. It was an on-the-job visualization.
  • Let it go – I didn’t force myself to do what didn’t bring me joy. This allowed me to relax and open to the flow of possibilities.

There’s another part of the story.  I almost missed out on this deal.

At first I was told the sofa was plaid, so I said I wasn’t interested. It didn’t fit my mental picture.

Fortunately, the next morning I woke up and decided it wouldn’t hurt to look. When I did, I discovered it fit the image and feel of what I wanted better than any style I’d looked at in the stores.

ON THE VERGE OF TURNING INTO AN ICE CUBE: I almost turned my back on this manifestation because I prejudged without even looking into it. 


Now it’s your turn.

  1. Breathe and relax.
  2. Set an intention to receive what you choose for your life.
  3. Choose to be in divine flow.
  4. Take action in the direction of your goal.

 Let it go. I mean really let go of the need or desire to have it. Allow divine timing to work its wonders. Let me know your results!

This is a reprint from April 21, 2011.

 

If you’d like to change
the way your life is going
to create something better,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

 

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do You Need a Whack to Your Thinking?

April 29, 2019

May you enjoy my Soulgoal Missive that I wrote in July 2008, which includes my first date that happened years earlier. Reading it was a good reminder to me about the value of change and how we (translate: I) can resist it. Do you need a whack to your thinking?

 

After two years of flying solo following my marital separation, somebody asked me out on a date. I could pick any restaurant I wanted – so off we went to a salsa club to dine and take my second dance lesson.

As our discussion progressed during dinner, the topic of relationships arose. Remember, this was my first foray into the dating arena in many a year.

“No, I didn’t notice the tan line on your ring-free, left hand finger signifying you wear a wedding ring and you’re married,” I said to the “gentleman.”

Did I let this throw me? I made a choice to course correct. I was not willing to let this bozo mar the memory of my first date.

I remained undaunted and had a great night with excellent conversation. Turned out he was a lucid and prophetic dreamer with juicy peeks into the aeries of the dream world.

The next and final time we met, I gave him a book on spiritual dreaming and the number of a therapist.

I could handle change like this, but why did I buck at smaller things?

I picked up a message at 11 PM from my hairdresser, the night before my 10 AM appointment, which informed me she moved.

My monkey mind whined. Instead of her being 45 minutes away, she would be an hour away. Wrong. Travel time was only 35 minutes – and the new place was definitely nicer. Why did she move locations? She needed a change.

Then there was the lawn sprinkler last week. Not having an automated system necessitated moving the sprinkler several times. A friend bought and installed timers. I graciously accepted them but said to myself, “This is a waste; I have to be outdoors to move them around anyway.” Wrong. They are wonderful.

I changed the way I do things. Now I water automatically and forget about it. Later when I have the time, I water the rest.

If you want something you never have had, you have to be willing to do something you never have done.

We want our lives to be different, but we want things to remain the same.

We often evaluate our options logically and make a decision based on the best knowledge our minds have to offer. But our thinking is so limited compared to the world of possibilities.


“Discovery consists of looking at the same things as everyone else and thinking something different… Those ideas or situations that cause you to get off your routine paths and ‘think something different’ are whacks to your thinking.” 

Roger von Oech

A Whack on the Side of the Head – How You Can Be More Creative


We have to make changes to allow our heart’s desires to enter our lives. If we do not respond to the gentle nudges that always precede a change, the two by four whack eventually will bonk us.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to identify where you have been resisting change in your life and look at it from another viewpoint. Take a chance; make a change in your approach.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia

Success Thought

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heros.
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly.
Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.
What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind.

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

Henry Miller

 

Ready for a change but you don’t know how?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Your Good is on Its Way

April 18, 2019

 

Before I wrote my Soulgoals’ blog, I published a weekly article called Soulgoal Missives. Recently, I came across this folder of these posts and thought I’d share with you a missive I wrote in 2002 titled “Your Good is on Its Way.” May your good grow in whatever ways are meaningful to you!

Sometimes the good we desire in life seems to come to people around us first. If we can praise and give thanks for another’s blessings, rather than be envious and jealous and critical, then we can be assured that those same blessings (or even greater ones) will come to us.
Catherine Ponder,
Open Your Mind to Prosperity

 

I had wonderful, good news. Something very special happened. Metaphorically, for me it was as if I’d won the lottery jackpot.

When I shared it with a couple of friends, I knew they were happy for me. But at the same time, there was disappointment and a tinge of sadness that they hadn’t hit the “lottery,” too.

Continuing with my lottery metaphor, they were buying tickets regularly and wanted to win for a long time. I imagined winning but didn’t play much. However, someone offered me a winning ticket, and now I’m enjoying the benefits.

I thought that if they understood a nuance of life, then they’d be ecstatic for me.

Nothing comes to us, nothing enters our life, unless some part of us is in alignment with it.

When others have goodness come into their lives, and then they’re around me, that means my good is on its way… IF I ACCEPT IT. If I get bummed out because someone else was successful at something and I wasn’t, then I send my good away.

When something good happens to someone around me, even if it’s180 degrees opposite of where I am, even if I’m in the pit of despair about this very topic, someone’s success inspires me with a reason to rejoice as it’s a sign, a messenger, that my own good is on its way. 

With this perspective, jealousy, envy, sadness, disappointment and discouragement, because of another’s success, go flying out the window. These emotions send our good away.

Knowing how this works, chasing our good away suggests we’re either experiencing temporary insanity or invested in self-sabotage.

How does feeling good about someone else’s good affect us? Let’s look at it from a point of view that all life is energy, and that energy is affected by our emotional state.

Imagine someone is flat broke and doesn’t know where to get rent money. Being in the dumps makes it difficult to earn any money or come up with ideas to make some.

Then information comes that a large, unexpected check is in the mail. Instant relief – the pressure is off. Happiness. Gratitude. Enthusiasm. Feelings shift to being upbeat and creative – ideas flow and new thoughts are magnetized toward this dynamic state. Élan vital, a vital force or impulse of life, is tapped. Nothing is the same after that.

The world of imagination is made real.

When we tap the élan vital, we shift our ability to receive the abundance that life offers. Life is waiting to bring us blessings; to receive them we must be in a state of willingness, allowing this grace to enter.

After our conversation about my “winning the lottery,” one of my friends opened up to the possibility of winning, too. The next day she e-mailed me about two lottery tickets someone gave her. She didn’t hit the jackpot, but she is grateful for winning tickets.

Your good is close; be willing to let it in. This is grace; invite and allow it to work through you and touch your life. The more you allow this heightened state of accepting life’s bounty as part of who you are, the more magical and extraordinary your life becomes.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to celebrate other people’s successes.

If someone shares a success with you, find a place inside of yourself that’s genuinely thrilled and happy for him or her – as if it happened to you. Don’t judge that it’s not good enough or too good! Practice gratitude that someone with this experience is either around you or that you learned about it. Then assume your good is near and will appear in its own way, when the time is just right.

Truly, your good is not just on its way, it’s here now. Open your eyes to see it.

 

Ready for more good in your life?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Valentine Message from Louise Hay

February 18, 2019

Unexpectedly for a couple of hours, I entertained a four-year old girl I’d never met.

As her little arms playfully twisted her top around her torso making the words on it illegible, I asked what her tee-shirt said.

In a flash, she replied: “Cute girl, I love you!”

It actually said “NIKE.”

I realized she heard that so often that this was the first thing that came to her mind and out of her mouth. She was cute, and she was loved. And this is how she carried herself, too.

Everybody loves Gracie, and I had fun during the unplanned interruption in my schedule to play with her… including eating tasty “pumpkin pie” and “strawberries” that were actually small, spiny, massage balls. What a great imagination!

In contrast, a woman, who’s had a lot of bumps in her life, told me what she thought about herself. I won’t write the language she used to describe her self-concept. It was on the line of “I am a worthless piece of ____. ”

This was exacerbated by employers who treated her this way.

She had a difficult time holding a job, that is until she started to see herself in a more positive light and wasn’t willing to put up with abusive treatment. She decided to restart her own business, and her client list of nice people is now growing.

Like attracts like.

What do you think about yourself? What kind of success does that opinion attract? You’ll find your answer by looking around at your life.

You can always raise your self-concept.

Start with regardless of whatever’s happened to you or is happening to you now, you’re deserving of love just because you’re alive.

May this excerpt from Louise Hay’s “You Are Lovable” message posted on February 14, 2011 point the way.

“Here’s my Valentine to you: Stop criticizing yourself—now and forevermore. Love and accept yourself as you are right now. When you do, you’ll blossom in ways that you can’t even imagine. Love will heal you, I promise. Your love for yourself will work miracles in your life.” 

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

iT waz oNe of tHOse Dayz… and I Feel Great Anyway!

January 14, 2019

I’ve given countless workshops, but I never had more enthusiasm than I had while putting the one together last week. In addition to preparing for the workshop, I lovingly made food for nine people, cleaned and decided it was time for several house upgrades, etc., etc.

The night before the workshop, I awoke way early with less than two hours of sleep, but I didn’t feel tired.

I LOVED the workshop on Saturday, had an essential time out on Sunday and then Monday I jumped right into a full schedule.

Apparently because of all my activity, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and things got wonky.

Usually, I write this blog in advance, with a couple of days to edit and mail it to my list a little after 7 AM.

I didn’t get up until 7:30 and had no writing done at all.

A rough draft came together, and I edited between coaching sessions… only to discover after I mailed it that I completely wrote the wrong last name of a dear client.

The client in my first session had a brilliant insight that was so good I was going to write a blog about it. I mean, it even mirrored what I was learning last year. I carefully wordsmithed her ideas as she talked and wrote them down. At the end of her session, I hurried off the phone because of a scheduled call, a woman who’s always on time.

No call came.

Nonetheless, I was in my rush to send the client’s notes from the first session to her. I mixed up her last month’s and this month’s files I was closing and didn’t save her current one. All those wonderful ideas I carefully crafted for her and my future writing — poof! Gone.

While waiting for the call that was very late, another client called to reschedule. We did that, and then I commented about an experience that was happening to him. I soon realized I had been talking to myself. I don’t know if my phone disconnected or his. I called back and got his voicemail.

The woman who was supposed to call me got the time zones mixed up. We had a great conversation. We were starting to talk about her registering for my program when her baby did what babies do after they eat… everywhere. Yes, let’s talk another day.

And so the day continued to go.

However, what interested me throughout the day is the way I felt.

It’s probably a combination of getting tired of years of reacting to a lifetime of crazies and, as a consequence, what I’ve learned about being in present time, that I didn’t trigger an emotional OMG response to any of these.

Add to that the weekend workshop where we were aligning with a higher level of focus, and this was definitely small stuff.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t register that I should be upset or feel self-judgment. I was quite familiar with how those felt having mastered those responses in my past. Instead, I cleaned up the missteps and moved on.

I could’ve been sunning or watching a movie or going to the dentist.

Emotionally, it felt all the same. No charge but interesting to observe. Clean it up and go on to the next thing. I later realized how the missteps were piling up, and I needed a break because I was leaving behind an atypical pile of weirdness.

I felt that I’d been riding a large wave that came to shore, and what a ride it was. However, there were signs it was time to take a breather. Simultaneously, I was able to rearrange my schedule to take a few days for myself.

I know there are things you think you screwed up or aren’t working like you thought they would. Maybe they’re things that didn’t come out right when you said or did them. Some may be big whoppers.

Today you can start fresh. The crazy stuff will one day be a distant memory. No reason to self-flagellate. Realign your energy: be kind, learn and it’s called Next.

If life is working as you imagined, enjoy it guilt-free. You deserve it.

You’re really doing all right. You’re becoming aware of new things. Life moves on, and so can you.

You have a choice. Suffer and make it hard on yourself or choose to live your life with grace and ease.

Hint: the latter takes a load off your shoulders.

With all the missteps I made, I felt better making a decision to take a time out and regroup.

Getting upset is optional and doesn’t help anything.

How can you take a time out for yourself to gain perspective, even if it’s just to take a pause in your own thinking?

 

Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Decide that this is your year!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Forgiveness and Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

November 19, 2018

 

blessings

May you enjoy this season of giving thanks and the sentiments expressed in the reprint from last year’s Thanksgiving post, found after my today’s italicized message to you.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool to help you break free.

We’re rarely angry for the reason we think we’re angry. How dare they!

That feeling is not about the other person or situation being wrong. The emotion triggered may be from a similar, emotional memory or our perception that may or may not be accurate.

Have you noticed how sometimes people can jump to the wrong conclusion and then become upset by their interpretation, even if it’s false?

Regardless if the other was right or actually the wrongdoer, holding on to a lack of forgiveness or a one-sided, limiting perspective can feel empowering. It can feel validating, proof that you’re right and the other is wrong.

The ego loves feeling right.

There might even be another side of the story that you’re not considering because you’re locked into your viewpoint.

Your Essence knows the trap of self-righteousness and sees things differently.

A mother copped an attitude about erroneous, perceived activity by her senior-aged daughter. Rather than talk about it or seeing proof to the contrary, she set a court date. The whole issue could be easily dismissed, but not even going to mediation altered her perspective.

Replacing her anger, frustration, hurt and fear of what her own mother was doing to her, the daughter began to send her mother love, disregarding any unforgiving attitudes. The mother’s now softening and questioning her hardline approach.

Empowerment through shifting your perspective to love and gratitude are more truly empowering than feeling justification through a lack of forgiveness. Maybe there’s another angle you’re overlooking.

Perhaps, given an opportunity, you can clear the energy through discussion or seeing things from another viewpoint.

Even if others are wrong, you can be emotionally free.

With gratitude,

Virginia

The reprinted post:

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.“ Melodie Beattie


When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude.“  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]


 
Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks!“ Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.20

 


[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has.“ Matthew 13:12, American King James Version


[Look how similar this is.]

“If you are grateful, I will give you more.”  The Koran 14:7


[Don’t wait to be grateful one day of the year.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you…

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.“ Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich


 

What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?

During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude; it’s living in a state of gratitude, continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously.

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude.

However, when I catch myself, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

 
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

He Floated Like a Butterfly and Stung Like a Bee

October 15, 2018

 

Ali

“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. His hands can’t hit what his eyes can’t see. Now you see me, now you don’t. George thinks he will, but I know he won’t.”

Who we came to know as Muhammad Ali was born Cassius Marcellus Clay Jr. on January 17, 1942, in Louisville, Kentucky.

During the 74 years that he was with us, Ali rocked the world as a heavyweight champion in boxing, philanthropist and activist. Often controversial, he was also inspiring and demonstrated a stunning belief in himself.

In 1964, Sonny Liston was the World Heavyweight Champion. Although Cassius Clay was the top contender for the title, he was the 7-1 underdog. Yet, he taunted Liston saying things like he was a “the big ugly bear,” smelled like one and “after I beat him I’m going to donate him to the zoo.”

Before the fight, Clay’s pulse, usually at 54, was measured at 120.

Some wondered if his behavior was from fear and questioned if he would show up for the fight.

Then, after a monumental upset with Clay as the victor, he declared:

“Eat your words. I am the greatest! I shook up the world. I’m the prettiest thing that ever lived.”

At age 22, he became the youngest boxer to take the title from a reigning heavyweight champion… a distinction he held until Mike Tyson broke that record in 1986.

May Ali’s words inspire you to greatness and believing in yourself.

“I am the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.”

“If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it, then I can achieve it.”

“A man who has no imagination has no wings.”

“Impossible is just a word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”

“He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.”

“It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe.”

“What keeps me going is goals.”

“Don’t count the days, make the days count.”

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep condition, things begin to happen.

“Live everyday as if it were your last because someday you’re going to be right.”

 

 
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love. 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

The Mindset of Will Smith who Bungee Jumped into the Grand Canyon

October 1, 2018

will smith

On his 50th birthday, actor Will Smith bungee jumped off the side of a helicopter into the Grand Canyon.

“Don’t look down. Never look down,” he can be heard saying before the jump.

Then, with crowds watching and cameras rolling, he let go, pushed himself off, dove backwards with arms outstretched and had the time of his life.

During the jump he exclaimed, while sandwiched between the magnificent Grand Canyon below and expansive clouds above, “This is gorgeous. This is gorgeous… This is some of the most beautiful stuff I’ve ever seen in my life. This is gorgeous. Beautiful. Beautiful… From pure terror to absolute bliss’

After several minutes he said, “I’m ready for them to put my a_ _ down, though. I can tell you that much.”

Here’s the jump on YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uilQxtVvpQ

Will Smith was born on September 25th, 1968, to a middle-class, Philadelphia family. Newsweek has called him “the most powerful actor in Hollywood.” He’s won four Grammy Awards and has also been nominated for two Academy Awards and four Golden Globe Awards.

What’s the mindset of someone who creates a life like this? Read his quotes below. No limits for this man!

“I want to represent the idea that you really can make what you want … I believe I can create whatever I want to create.”

“The first step before anyone else in the world believes it is you have to believe it.”

“The first step is you have to say that you can.”

“Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice.”

“Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings & emotions.”

“Don’t chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing and work hard. The right people – the ones who really belong in your life – will come to you. And stay.”

“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they are going to tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

“Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity.”

“Greatness is not this wonderful, esoteric, elusive, godlike feature that only the special among us will ever taste; it’s something that truly exists in all of us.”

“Life is lived on the edge.”

“You don’t try to build a wall. You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say I’m gonna build the biggest, baddest wall that’s ever been built. You say, I’m gonna lay this brick, as perfectly as a brick can be laid, and you do that every single day, and soon you have a wall. It’s difficult to take the first step when you look at how big the task is. The task is never huge to me, it’s always one brick.”

“I don’t know what my calling is, but I want to be here for a bigger reason. I strive to be like the greatest people who have ever lived.”

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.