Archive for the ‘Ego & How to Let It Go’ Category

Do You Wish Your Life Had Turned Out Differently?

May 4, 2020

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.


 

Why did she stay in a funk for so long?

She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

 


In her egoic mind’s way of limited thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried. “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied drudging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations.

Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when all of them looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

Your interpretation of events determines if you see and experience life as having mostly peaks or mostly valleys.


 

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.

Now each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Regardless, you’re always learning, and that’s progress. (Even if the learning seems to take forever!)


 

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy and actually stops your forward movement.

Regret is like being on a train that’s going in the wrong direction. In an attempt to compensate, you walk down the aisle of the train in the direction from which the train has just come. No matter how fast you walk, you’ll never get closer to where you want to go.

 


Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced many of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was a turning point. That time was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love – in relationships, health, finances and life! 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I erroneously thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

What’s your next chapter?

 

Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

Reprinted from Soulgoals Archives posted August 7, 2017.

Would you feel relieved to get support creating your next chapters to be your best ever? Curious how this could possibly happen to you, especially considering what your life is and has been? Don’t let more years go by. Contact me to learn more about a free Soulgoals Break-free Session at virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

www.soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote To My Client.

April 20, 2020

Whatever thoughts you have that don’t feel good, whatever fears you have… they’re not about you!! They’re also not about the economy, a virus or any other circumstance!

We all created, everyone of us, a false identity, which is known as the ego. Some call it the mind – or monkey mind.

No, the ego isn’t just about those who we consider braggadocios.

It’s the part of us that feels fear, doubt, anxiety, lack, sorrow, sadness and wonders about “what if” the worse happens. What if you get sick? What about your finances? And on and on.

It’s the part that berates us for not feeling good enough, regretting the past and is fearful about the future – and, oh, how it disapproves of you in countless ways.

However, the greater part of us, an invisible yet far more powerful Essence, is within, too.

How can you access that place of calm, peace and happiness?

Soon I’ll offer a teleconference to help you understand and LET GO of your ego being in charge of your life.

You’ll learn how to allow your innate, inner mastery to be in control, new ways to set goals and MANIFEST THEM!

Interestingly, by letting go of negative emotions, we open to receive whatever we choose into our lives. Money. Health. Love. Peace. 

In the meantime, I’m sharing a Soulgoals’ post from my August 12, 2019 archive about the ego.

It’s just a hint of what it is and how it impacts you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

 

Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.

I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. And why was God allowing me and others to suffer?

This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.

 

Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.

For some, it’s an exciting adventure.

For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.

You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.

Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…

You are not your software.

In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

 

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”     

The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

 

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks it’s protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival.

When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.

 

If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
and more satisfying,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Is God Doing This To You?

April 13, 2020

During these challenging times, when you’re forced to listen to your thoughts more than usual – what are they telling you?

Do you think you or humanity is being punished by God? Maybe God is laughing at you, at us?

Are you frightened during the night or in private moments about what you hear inside your head? What if the worse happens?

Do you feel depressed, anxious, angry, alone, bored, scared or any number of other sad emotions?

Why is this happening?

The late, fascinating Stuart Wilde wrote about another way of looking at moments, like what we’re experiencing, in his book The Trick to Money is Having Some:

“The great upheavals of the world are just self-transformational seminars which a lot of very unconscious people are forced to attend so that they look at their lives under pressure.

If you don’t change, reality in the end forces that change upon you. But the ego/personality hates change…”

“To me the quintessence of freedom is feeling not a circumstance. If you rely on circumstance to grant you freedom, it is unlikely that you will ever achieve it. For circumstances constantly change and the very nature of your seeking freedom in things outside of yourself creates the impossibility of it in your heart.”


Maybe you doubt yourself.

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Therefore, do you believe it’s justifiable for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, you might think that an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

This isn’t true!


A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.


By this statement, she then expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? To be afraid of what life throws at them? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

Mother/Father God, the universe, or however you view this loving Source energy, cares and supports you in the same way.

Take a leap of faith. Believe in yourself! You can get through this.


How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions, especially now?

Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
 

  • Find your anchor of calm within; it’s there.
  • Breathe.
  • Detach emotionally from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
  • How does something feel – good or not so much? Feeling good is a positive indicator. 
  • Then make decisions, and take action.
  • This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
  • It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
  • The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

 


My Soulgoals’ Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

This Soulgoals’ lesson goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

Trust you can get through these times. Trust your inner spirit to guide you.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who might appreciate this post? Please share.

This is reprinted with updates from Soulgoals’ Archives, posted April 27, 2017.

If you’d like support or clarity of vision, contact me to find out how. I offer complimentary Break-Free sessions.

Contact me: virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

When Fear Takes Over

March 23, 2020

 

 

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul” at the turn of this century.

An age-old term, Eckhart Tolle calls
the dark night of the soul, “a collapse of a
perceived meaning in life…
an eruption into your life of a deep
sense of meaninglessness. The inner state
in some cases is very close to what is
conventionally called depression. Nothing
makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose
to anything.”

“It can happen if something happens that
you can’t explain away anymore, some
disaster which seems to invalidate the
meaning that your life had before.
Really what has collapsed then is the whole
conceptual framework for your life, the
meaning that your mind had given it.
So that results in a dark place.”

At that time, life and circumstances created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

When they can’t take it anymore
and have to do something, they let go.

Finally, as if those feelings had been
running on a low battery, the charge
is gone.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions.

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormentors, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
impostors… and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings with negativity
like smoke in a room on fire with little
space for breathing freely.

The ego is the false identity, the voice
in our heads that we think is real
.

If you believe this nonsense
of hopelessness or not good
enough, you’re being scammed!!

Eventually these images or false
identities that we based our life on
begin to crumble.

It can be devastating when we discover that
many of our core beliefs have been an illusion.

For me, when the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
you, what you do or life isn’t good enough.

Your happiness doesn’t depend on others,
the latest crisis or the news.
______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You became used to listening to it, so
now you don’t take risks. You fritter away
your energy distracted by blame, shame,
worry, regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the past brings regrets, sorrow
and suffering.

Living in the future brings worry and
fear of “what if… the worse happens?”

Living in the Now, even for a moment,
brings relief and peace. You can always 
handle the present moment.

How can you be present and free
of the tyranny of fear?

Start by making a decision. Choose to!

Yes, you are that powerful.

Your Essence, not your whiny, doubting
ego, is so powerful that when you make a
decision you change your life!! 


The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want… or be
protected against a virus!
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
worry, lack, fear, doubt and limit, which
results in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of emotional
freedom is savored, it’s proof that peace
and happiness are more than a wishful
hope for you.

Years of habit etch neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

You are stronger than a pesky virus! You can get through this!

Believe.

Reposted from Soulgoals Archives April 10, 2017 with present time edits

 

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life? Please forward this post.

Need help getting through? Experience for FREE a Break-Free Session. To learn more, email me at: virginia@soulgoals.com

http://www.soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.
Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What You Can Do When Someone Pushes Your Buttons

October 16, 2019

 

 

 

Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Maybe yours?

Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

Changing perspective can help you: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I hadn’t been for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; not judging as people make mistakes.

 The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people… people I still hadn’t talked with for a very long time.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

 The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.


 Here are tips on what you can do when your buttons are pushed.

Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

Through my school of hard knocks learning, I’m adding one more.

Don’t try to explain yourself using logic if someone is emotional.

Mental and emotional approaches are on two different wave lengths. When someone is emotional, they often aren’t listening, can’t really hear what you’re saying unless it’s what they want to hear. They may not even have the foundation to understand what you’re saying. They just get annoyed and feel justified in making you look like the jerk. Instead listen and say: thanks for sharing your opinion.


Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

  It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

 

This is a reprint from March, 2011.

If you’d like to get help
with your pushed buttons,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Do You Need a Whack to Your Thinking?

April 29, 2019

May you enjoy my Soulgoal Missive that I wrote in July 2008, which includes my first date that happened years earlier. Reading it was a good reminder to me about the value of change and how we (translate: I) can resist it. Do you need a whack to your thinking?

 

After two years of flying solo following my marital separation, somebody asked me out on a date. I could pick any restaurant I wanted – so off we went to a salsa club to dine and take my second dance lesson.

As our discussion progressed during dinner, the topic of relationships arose. Remember, this was my first foray into the dating arena in many a year.

“No, I didn’t notice the tan line on your ring-free, left hand finger signifying you wear a wedding ring and you’re married,” I said to the “gentleman.”

Did I let this throw me? I made a choice to course correct. I was not willing to let this bozo mar the memory of my first date.

I remained undaunted and had a great night with excellent conversation. Turned out he was a lucid and prophetic dreamer with juicy peeks into the aeries of the dream world.

The next and final time we met, I gave him a book on spiritual dreaming and the number of a therapist.

I could handle change like this, but why did I buck at smaller things?

I picked up a message at 11 PM from my hairdresser, the night before my 10 AM appointment, which informed me she moved.

My monkey mind whined. Instead of her being 45 minutes away, she would be an hour away. Wrong. Travel time was only 35 minutes – and the new place was definitely nicer. Why did she move locations? She needed a change.

Then there was the lawn sprinkler last week. Not having an automated system necessitated moving the sprinkler several times. A friend bought and installed timers. I graciously accepted them but said to myself, “This is a waste; I have to be outdoors to move them around anyway.” Wrong. They are wonderful.

I changed the way I do things. Now I water automatically and forget about it. Later when I have the time, I water the rest.

If you want something you never have had, you have to be willing to do something you never have done.

We want our lives to be different, but we want things to remain the same.

We often evaluate our options logically and make a decision based on the best knowledge our minds have to offer. But our thinking is so limited compared to the world of possibilities.


“Discovery consists of looking at the same things as everyone else and thinking something different… Those ideas or situations that cause you to get off your routine paths and ‘think something different’ are whacks to your thinking.” 

Roger von Oech

A Whack on the Side of the Head – How You Can Be More Creative


We have to make changes to allow our heart’s desires to enter our lives. If we do not respond to the gentle nudges that always precede a change, the two by four whack eventually will bonk us.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to identify where you have been resisting change in your life and look at it from another viewpoint. Take a chance; make a change in your approach.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia

Success Thought

“Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heros.
Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly.
Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end.
What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind.

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.”

Henry Miller

 

Ready for a change but you don’t know how?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Have Peace of Mind or Give A Piece of Your Mind?

February 14, 2019

“The drama of life is a psychological one in which all the conditions, circumstances, and events of your life are brought to pass by your assumptions. Since your life is determined by your assumptions, you are forced to recognize the fact that you are either a slave to your assumptions or their master. To become the master of your assumptions is the key to undreamed of freedom and happiness.”

Neville Goddard, The Power of Awareness

 

Recently my iPhone screen went completely black. It worked earlier in the morning, and then it just died.

I got online to find recommended fixes, push this and that buttons at the same time, but with no success.

During an online chat with my phone rep, it took her 15 minutes to arrive at the same dead end I’d found. The simple, and oh so happy steps she initially gave me to purchase a lovely, new phone weren’t working on the website.

She put me on hold and came back to tell me that with four months left on my contract, not only would I have to to buy a new phone for hundreds of dollars, but first I’d need to pay off the contract for $99.

I admit, I had my moment of snark when I replied that my phone should at least be able to make it through the contract time before it died.

End Chat.

I paused to reflect on what was most important.

If I decided to be angry at the phone company and give them a piece of my mind, they wouldn’t be affected much, even if I decided to waste my time writing nasty emails or social media posts.

If I did that, my emotional state would run like a turbulent current in everything I was going to do that day and would likely create even more waves with other things.

I also knew I was going to drive to town where I might find more options.

When I started my car, I discovered that the fan to my air conditioner and heater no longer worked either.

Choice time. What made more sense?

  • Give up my peace of mind because of inanimate objects, which wouldn’t change anything except to wreck the way I felt for the rest of the day.
  • If I decided to act out emotionally or mentally, even if no one else knew but me, I would give my power away to something outside of me to dictate the way I feel.
  • As the ability to get what I want in life is dependent on my assumptions and the way I feel, like attracts like, it made zero sense to get upset, unless I was into making myself feel miserable or a victim.
  • Bottom line, I realized that whatever was going to happen was going to happen, but I had the ability to control how I felt and therefore mold my outer circumstances. The phone would either get fixed or it wouldn’t. If I had to buy another one, no amount of fussing up was going to change the fact that I had to acquire another phone, one way or another. If I chose to get upset, I’d only make myself be in a terrible mood. Furthermore, a working car fan wasn’t crucial as heat could blow into my vehicle when it was moving.

There’s a moment, before our emotions take us down a rabbit hole of distress, when we have a choice. Have peace of mind or give away a piece of our mind?

I forgot about my phone and car and went about my business.

Several hours later, I was able to go to a store where phones are sold but not repaired.

The man at the counter knew a different fix, and in less than five minutes my phone was working again. He also happened to know that the car’s fan could be repaired for a reasonable price. All for free.

Good thing I didn’t ruin my day. Not only would it have been a complete waste of time and energy, I would’ve destroyed my happiness as well as my ability to manifest other things that ended up going my way.

You can control your emotions. It’s a choice. Do you want to give your power away to let something else control you or would you rather be in control of your life?

Is giving your power away to your emotions worth giving away your peace of mind? If so, in that moment you block your ability to create the life or business you choose. 

As like attracts like, you’d only attract more problems that would leave you feeling upset.

Which do you choose?

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.