Archive for the ‘Ego & How to Let It Go’ Category

I Confess. I Didn’t Know How to Handle This… Until Now.

June 12, 2017

Arguing earthworms

An acclaimed author and speaker sat across the aisle from me during a shuttle bus ride to a conference.

She was recognized by the woman sitting behind her who started a conversation between the two of them.

Just as the ride ended, with a sweet smile and feigned good intentions that she probably believed were innocent and necessary to express, she trashed the famous person with subtle (not really subtle) advice/put downs.

As an observer, I watched the powerful woman’s face drop as she didn’t know what hit her. While disembarking from the bus, I quietly told her that she didn’t do what the accuser claimed, and the other woman was making stuff up.
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After meditating about me and out of so-called concern, a woman decided to list extensively my shortcomings since the beginning of our friendship. She had a pattern of telling me these every couple of years for fifteen years. Adding insult to injury, her skewed perspective caused her opinions to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Her last sharing was her final one with me.


Can you recall interactions that left you wondering whaa – what just happened?

Or maybe you’ve claimed the title of tell-it-like-you-think-others-should-be-or-should-know-about-themselves.

I confess. In the past, handling crazy-makers like these often left me clumsily dumbfounded and reactive. Maybe a month or a year later, I’d think of a clever yet still unsatisfactory response.

Recently during a session with one of my teachers, the sky opened and fairy dust of understanding gently rained upon me.

I’m sharing my pixie enlightenment about some reasons why others use manipulative behaviors that blind-side and what to do about it.

Also, a heads up if this is your M.O. You may choose to stop it. As Dale Carnegie wrote, the pay off is that you’ll win friends, influence more people and feel authentically better about yourself.

THE WHY:

When people are afraid, they look to fight anybody. They will attack a strong person. (You might be perceived as strong by others, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself).

The underlying, usually unconscious thinking of pointing out faults of a strong person is this: I’m insecure. Let’s see if I can take you down to my level.

It’s someone else’s fault, and they’re going to point it out. “Others” are doing something wrong.

Those who use passive-aggressive behavior look for weak parts and take aim at those frailties. 

  1. It can create self-doubt in the other person and throw them off-balance.
  2. It can invert the strong person’s attention onto themselves and away from the aggressor’s shortcomings.

However, the problem actually rests within them. They don’t want to work on their own issues, so they blame others. Again, the focus is on others and their faults so the perpetrators don’t have to look at themselves.

It reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle said regarding people who complain about others, including other drivers.  Disapproval of others makes their ego feel “morally superior,” even to strangers driving in cars.

Passive-aggressiveness is a self-esteem boosting technique born out of feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. It’s one way to get attention and have people listen, which they might not have experienced in their past. 

In short, one way passive-aggressiveness works is to criticize how others are wrong in order to feel better about themselves, enhance superiority or get something they want. 

WHAT TO DO:

Don’t agree or argue with them. Tell them, “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree.”

They want you to defend yourself or argue. If you don’t, they look like an idiot.

Eventually, they’ll stop trying to attack because you offer no resistance. Their attempts to get you to provide fuel to fill up their tank of self-esteem isn’t working (instead of finding it within themselves).

Also, they can’t understand you if you talk with them logically when they’re seeing things emotionally. You’re both on different wavelengths. You can’t hear an FM station when you’re tuned into AM.

People blaming “the others,” be it personally, politically, in business or otherwise, is a scapegoat from looking at their own issues.

Does any of this fairy dust bring clarity to you, your business or work?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

What Pruning & Cleaning Clutter Teaches Me

May 3, 2017
2169239749_3487eb4753[1]

Last week, when I wasn’t coaching, I was outside doing yardwork.

Before that, I cleaned every single paper off my desk (yikes, that took weeks of chipping away at it), deleted or filed hundreds of emails (still got more to go), cleared out pockets of clutter around my house and completed projects I’ve been meaning to get to for seemingly forever.

I finally washed 40 jars and bought new spices for a rack I bought three years ago.

I updated my password list. I’ve been receiving regular bodywork to support my back, now that it’s aligned. I glued the lining of a favorite shoe. I’m deepening my meditations.

We leak our energy when there are things that need our attention, but we put off or ignore them.

In my twenties, I sat very close to the stage and watched the late, great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. He gave everyone in the audience a wooden round Tuit to remind us to get around to it – whatever we’ve been putting off.
_____________________________

As I gaze out my window, sunlight shines throughout the day on areas that used to be completely covered in shade. What a metaphor. I learned that the shadows disappeared by allowing more light to come through because I cleared out the clutter and dead branches. Life can grow in places it couldn’t before.

_____________________________

Spring cleaning my office, home and yard opens space for my next steps.

While doing in-depth sessions, I had the inner space to remember and use techniques I learned decades ago that are helping clients break free of their egos’ self-sabotage.

Beyond mulching and clearing, I’m planting what a neighbor calls jewelry – pretty flowers in my yard.

Step at a time, I’m preparing my soil for future growth in all areas of my life.

Sometimes the old gets cleared out through nature and evolution. Fires clear weaker trees and debris and returns health to the forest. Challenges clear out limiting thinking and beliefs that sabotage greater success and happiness.

Last year at this time, my biggest goal was to sleep. For a year, I was the caretaker for my cat who woke me throughout the night to cope with her illness, which left me feeling like a sleep-deprived zombie. Before that, my attention was focused on getting rid of a devastating mold caused by torrential rains that affected my body, head, home and finances. That was two years ago this month. _____________________________

Since my cat passed last June, I realized the energy of “catching up” and feeling “overwhelmed with so much to do” were visualizations that would only create my having to dig out of a bigger hole.

I would have liked everything in my life to be in order yesterday.

Instead, I see myself being “in front of” my life, business and finances. This focus has placed me on a new trajectory.

It’s working. Things are getting done. I’m feeling good. I see new horizons.

_____________________________

If you’re clearing out the old through challenges, may you find greater peace with a perspective of gratitude and see light that graces your life in ways it couldn’t before. Blue skies follow storms.

If you’ve been putting off taking care of things that you wish were over and done, consider getting around to it. One step at a time will do.

Begin. The rest is easy.

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? You’re invited to pass this on.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Is God Doing This to You?

April 27, 2017

Laughing Buddha (2)

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Do you believe it’s justifiable, then, for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

______________________________

A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.

______________________________

By this statement, she expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

____________________________

How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions?
Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
Find your anchor inside of you.
Breathe.
Detach from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
How does something feel – good or not so much?
Then make decisions and take action.
This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

______________________________

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

It goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who’s beating themselves up? They might appreciate you sharing this post with them.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.

Why My Girlfriend SCREAMED at Me

March 20, 2017

My friend told me her predicament while on a phone call.

She was out of work, had no money but big dreams. She didn’t want to get a J-O-B because she was afraid it would suck away her time and energy to do what she really wanted.

Frustration ensued because she felt that she was here, her dreams were out there somewhere, and she didn’t know how to get over there.

Realizing the sensitivity of her situation and feeling her distress, I attempted to offer some words of support that might help her.

She replied by SCREAMING at me: YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT!!!

Her passionate yet erroneous belief of having to know how to do something before taking action kept her feeling stuck, depressed and hopeless because she couldn’t  figure out a way out.

This happened a few years ago. Currently, she’s working at a job she doesn’t like. She said she’s “matured” and stopped acting out of her helpless, childhood emotions. Although she doesn’t have all her plans figured out, she has a few next steps and is implementing those quite effectively.

Often all you really know is your next step. Think Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade – his leap of faith.

“You must believe, boy. You must… believe.”

https://www.google.com/search?q=indiana+jones+stepping+off+cliff&ie=&oe=#spf=1  

Letting “I don’t know how to do it”  and “I gotta figure it out” stop you before you start are siren songs that the ego uses to lure you into keeping you small.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something; it insists you must have the big picture before taking action.

This is opposite of how the creative process works.

Robert Fritz wrote this in his book  The Path of Least Resistance:

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

Here’s a practical example of what happened to me.

When I lived in Washington, D.C., I was tasked to find a meeting room for an event. My budget was just a few hundred dollars.

After contacting around 20 hotels and facilities, I learned their rates were  $1,000 to $2,000+ for what we needed. None were willing to negotiate as their facilities booked easily.

I was ready to give up and report  that this was impossible; my statistics of locations and their costs would  substantiate my conclusion.

Instead, I decided to think from the end:

1. Are we going to hold this training here? Yes.

2. This means that a room exists.

3. Find it.

The idea came to me to check out a hotel in Arlington, Virginia, located across the bridge from D.C.

Voila! The room was the exact, right price plus it had parking and easy access to the highway.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Another way of saying this, get out of your head and open yourself to infinite possibilities.

My Mastermind Principle #3 is: I am open to the mastermind leading me, and I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.

The next time someone tries to tell you or you scream at yourself that you can’t take action until you know how to do something, until you can “figure it out,” do what Odysseus was told to do when the sirens called to distract him and his men from their purpose.

Figuratively speaking, put wax in your ears.

Instead, tune into what your inner guidance whispers for you to do. This message is positive, not filled with fear.

Before Odysseus and his men left for home, Circe told Odysseus that he would pass the island of the Sirens who would try to lure the men to their deaths with their tempting song.

She advised him to put wax in the men’s ears, and if he was determined to hear their song, he should be tied to the mast of his ship.

Don’t fall for the song of your ego.  (Pun intended.)

P.S. Know others who spin in circles because they long for change but don’t know what to do?  Please share this post.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results,
All rights reserved.

The Voice in Your Head Lies

February 1, 2017
doll-with-colored-hair

Even if you appear coordinated and that your life fits together, what’s going on in your thinking might leave you feeling like a shell with a confused head.

Or maybe you’ve been telling yourself that your life is a mess no matter which way you look at it.

Or you feel blessed that all is well, but you wonder how to elevate your set point to a higher altitude you’ve never experienced before.

Conflicting voices in your head can torment you.

Do any of these sound familiar?

You and nothing you do is good enough. What’s wrong with you? You’re never going to get ahead. You screwed up, again. What a loser. What makes you think anything’s gonna change? It’s not going to work, so why chance it? You’ve tried before and you remember how bad it turned out, so what’s the use of trying again? You oughta be a lot further ahead than where you are now… especially at your age.

There are countless ways to beat yourself up.

What if a “friend” said things to you like this, on and on and on?

For a while, you might feel immobilized – how could you do anything with this weight on you?

Why bother taking action? With the wind taken out of your sails, you’re left with no energy.

Instead, procrastinate. Lose interest.  Be indecisive. Watch too much TV. After all, you might make another mistake. Play it safe. Do nothing.

Another option is feeling vengeful and lashing out against the world. How dare they?! How can you do this to me?

Or be arrogant and proud. They think they’re all that and then some. Well, I’ll put them in their place.

When you snapped out of your stupor from getting way too many demoralizing hits below the belt, you’d either want to leave, give them a piece of your mind or shorten any air time you’d give them.

You don’t have to put up with this from others. Most importantly, you don’t have to put up with badgering thoughts that are on instant replay in your brain!

How can you stop the momentum of that train on its way to become a wreck?

When you stop to listen to the conversation in your head and observe it, you might notice something very important.

It lies. That negativity is not the truth.

Do you like liars? Probably not. So stop listening to these horror stories. They’re NOT true!

Instead of acting like an obedient servant to lunacy – yours or others – choose to stop it.

That’s why I named my technique Liberation of Lunacy because when the ego takes over, we’re all a little crazy.

Instead, ASK for your essence to be in the driver’s seat of your life and business.

You’re a Divine child. You’re more than good enough. If you diss you, you diss your Creator.

The rest of that silly stuff is only a program in your head, and you can replace that software.

You can start by making a choice. What thoughts, ideas or outcomes do you choose instead?

I choose _________________________.

You’re that powerful so if you choose, it makes a difference. Really. Choose to let go of the burdensome yoke of enslavement you’ve been carrying.

Choose to be free.

Now don’t go straddling the fence between listening to goofy ideas and choosing. Perching on pointy fence tops is very uncomfortable.

You have a choice to listen to those inane voices in your head or not.

How do I know they’re not telling you the truth? Because your essence never talks to you like this. Your spirit is always supportive. It may lovingly ask what you learned, but it never disparages you.

Here’s another approach.

The next time the dictator/ victim/ bully/ procrastinator/ naysayer in your head tells you that you can’t do something, say with resolve, “Watch me do it. Watch me.”

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

This Stops You From Getting What You Want

January 23, 2017

cow-india

Sacred Cow: an idea, custom, or institution held, especially unreasonably, to be above criticism (with reference to the Hindus’ respect for the cow as a sacred animal).” from Bing

Historically for Hindus, cows provided food, fuel, disinfectant and fertilizer. In other words, cows were needed for survival. Eating the cow for meat works for the moment, but there goes the source of milk, dried cow dung for fuel, fertilizer and more.

How can leaders communicate to the masses not to kill their cows? Make them sacred. Make killing them taboo.

Likewise, we have beliefs that made sense once upon a time, like telling children not to talk with strangers.

However, especially if you’re in business or working with the public as an adult where talking with new people is essential, this pattern can thwart your success.

In humble prayer: God, I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Except see that one little thing? Not that. Otherwise, anything.

God replies: Focusing on that one thing is the only thing I ask of you now.

That which is so sacred to you, that idea or belief that you don’t want to consider, can be the one thing that stops you from getting what you want.

It’s usually some way you’ve always done things, the way you’ve always thought or felt – even if it doesn’t work or makes you feel unhappy.

What if you based your thinking on a few faulty or limited premises?

Don’t you go asking me about my mama. Although therein can lie the key to your self-esteem and ability to set boundaries.

That’s sacred cow/ sacred belief territory. Back off. However, those who have the courage to look can find freedom.

Those type of entrenched neural pathways in your brain can make you feel that you have to chew on distressing thoughts  – that’s just a habit to keep you spinning in circles.

The ego wants to figure things out, and in doing so, you can stay stuck for years wanting to understand and know why… because it’s so complicated.

That habit of thinking is a trap, like the Sirens calling the boats to shore so they’ll crash.

Do what Odysseus did for his crew. Put metaphoric wax in your ears. Restrain yourself from the addictive pull of the way you usually think; it’s easier to do when you refocus your attention on happier things.

Maybe the lesson to be learned is to let go and take your life back.

Beliefs are only thoughts you repeatedly think. You HAVE the power to think other thoughts. Choose to stop letting others and circumstances control what goes on in your head and influence how you feel.

My church tells me such-and-such, so I can’t consider anything else.

Every week as part of the religious service when I was a kid, I thrice hit my heart with my fist as I spoke aloud three times: “Lord, I’m not worthy.”

Talk about pounding a (false) belief into the body.

In my family we always follow tradition. So a man became a lawyer even though his heart wasn’t in it, he wanted to be in another profession, felt miserable – and his wallet reflected it.

When companies go through changes, they often challenge the way things have always been done – the sacred cows of their culture or systems.

What beliefs do you hold so dearly that they’re beyond criticism, beyond your examination that they might not be true?

Your sacred cow beliefs may be the very ones holding you back from getting what you want – happiness, more money and success, better relationships, health and business.

Summon the courage to look. Journal about it.

You can live your dreams, be happy, be richly compensated doing what you love, and invest in yourself instead of taking care of everyone else.

What a concept.

Why not be happy? Only your sacred cow beliefs will tell you a limiting answer because your essence only chooses for you to be free and enjoy life.

P.S. If you feel this sacred cow message might be moo-sic to someone’s ears, please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Are You Running Away From Your Fear?

January 17, 2017

girl-and-stuffed-animal

Your success accelerates and happiness blooms when you let go of fear and the ego’s grasp.

Fear subtly whispers what if the worse happens. It can have you look calm or cheerful, but inside quiet trepidation runs like a persistent, low grade fever. It can breed a full-blown panic humbling you to beg a divine power for help – hoping/doubting if anyone is listening to your prayers or wondering if they’ll bother to answer them.

Fear can masquerade as anger, frustration, pain, avoidance, blaming, complaining, feeling like a victim, sadness, apathy, bullying, guilt, rescuing, suffering as well as every facet of unhappiness.

Fear creates lack of clarity and direction while triggering procrastination or immobilizing you from taking action, dreading that you’ll make a mistake and then you-know-what will hit the fan.

Although miserable to experience, these outcomes provide a compelling distraction from looking at the culprit – your underlying fear.

However, just like in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain was pulled back, there’s nothing substantive to fear.

  1. Fear is only a scary story in your head.
  2. You can more effectively deal with real issues when you’re not emotionally clouded.
  3. You continue to attract unwanted circumstances until you stop running away from your fear, let it go and see it for what it is: a no-thing.
  4. You only attract what you can handle, so there’s no reason to fear anything. 

When you stop thinking and talking about your problems as if you’re in a Stephen King novel, you stop generating your real-life, horror stories.

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

The ego will lead you to believe that you’ll have more pain if you look at your fear.

However, it’s the embellished, painful narratives of what horrible fate might happen in the future or remembering what happened in the past that snags you.

When you focus on the past and future, you bypass present time, and this is where your personal empowerment dwells.

How can you know if you’re doing this? Listen to your own stories. What’s the timeline – past, present or future?

Ego will play you like a fiddle – directing your attention to what you don’t have (like enough money, time, love, health, direction or success), past and future worries, anywhere but the Now.

If you allow yourself to look at your inner bogeyman, with an intention of letting it go, you’ll find freedom.

Ask for your inner spirit to shine your courage so you can let go of fear and find the tools and support to release what’s holding you back.

You can begin now:

  • Be willing to let go.
  • Ask for help – inwardly and outwardly.
  • Journal to bring clarity and with the intention of letting go.
  • Open to receive a life and business that exceeds your wildest expectations.

When you feel afraid you give your power away. Choose to take it back.

If you don’t get this job or deal, you can get another.

If one way doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. Another can be even better. (By the way, I used to be a master at making mountains out of molehills, so I know how much anxiety, pain and self-destruction this habit generates.)

No person, circumstance, financial condition, politician, economic outlook, industry predictions, threats, doctor’s diagnosis, the past or unknown future can affect you unless you let it.

Dwelling on fear or what doesn’t work is emotional quicksand that sabotages your success.

A woman told me about a dream she had with a ferocious lion. Instead of running away, she walked toward it and through it. It had no substance.

You pay a high price for letting fear run your life. Drama. Stress. Challenging relationships. Attracting more fear than money. Confusion. Unconsciously repelling business. Poor health. A life that doesn’t feel like it’s worth living.

You can change now.

Make a decision that instead of listening to the nagging, fear-based story in your head, and judging yourself for having it, you’ll focus on what you choose and what’s working.

Results? You’re happier. Your business and finances grow. You attract love from all the right places. Your health improves.

You’re worth it.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: Free, Fun and Fruitful

August 9, 2016

The Apollo 14 Saturn V Space Vehicle, carrying Astronauts Alan B. Shepard, Jr., Stuart A. Roosa, and Edgar D. Mitchell, lifted off at 4:03 p.m. EST on January 31, 1971, from the Kennedy Space Center Launch Complex 39A, to begin the fourth manned lunar landing mission

Tired of struggling for the good you deserve? Would you love to have the keys to launch your goals and dreams to a level beyond your wildest imagination or at least better than where you are now?

Here’s your opportunity to learn how.

Would you enjoy feeling this way? 

“It never ceases to amaze me that I manifest my goals so consistently. I’m grateful to see how much progress I’ve made. I’ve accomplished a lot and laid a foundation. All the pieces are falling in place. A whole bunch of stuff is on the brink of completion – the hard work is behind me. It’s working!” LH

Why is it that some people, like Realtor Lora Herring, have a magic touch?

Week after week, I hear stories about people’s miracles and successes that are astounding. 

I don’t talk about some because they seem unbelievable, like the woman I wrote about on a May TIP: Never Give Up, Part 2.

Things were so bad, she considered letting go of everything, including her business and home, and moving to Mexico.

Three months later, not only is her business booming. An entrepreneur with a $$$ track record invited her to spearhead a concept they’re now pitching to industry giants with a detailed plan to generate a NINE figure income!

Never give up! Your life and fortunes can turn around quickly in the most unexpected ways.

How can YOU turn your precious dreams to reality?

Each week I give you a TIP, a piece of the puzzle.

A key is to put together the pieces to create YOUR big picture… without getting overwhelmed by trying to figure out how to do it by yourself or feeling confused not knowing where to start.

To help you break free and do what you love in a BIGGER way, dynamic speakers are sharing their stories, tips and experience with the miracle of mastermind energy.

MASTERMIND: when two or more gather in harmony, an energy is created that can and does manifest goals you choose or something better. 

You’re invited to Free, Fun & Fruitful An Energy Boost for Your Success

SUNDAY, AUGUST 28, 2016

FOOD AND FRIENDSHIP: 3 – 3:45 PM

PRESENTATION: 4 – 6 PM

LOCATION: A beautiful home in SW Austin, TX

WHO’S INVITED: Business associates, friends and family who are open to feeling good and elevating their success

TO REGISTER, SEND ME AN EMAIL AND SAY “YES.  I’LL BE THERE!” vg@ResolvedForResults.com

INVESTMENT: IT’S FREE!
You’ll experience what it feels like to be free, have fun and be fruitful way beyond your time invested in attending.

FRUITFUL: producing good results; beneficial; profitable; producing an abundant growth

To get the results you choose, you must be on a bandwidth of energy to receive and be the shining star you are.

Join us as you raise your ceiling of infinite possibilities and learn from pros how they did it.

Feel what it’s like to know that you’re not alone and someone’s got your back.

Rub shoulders with everyday people having outstanding results.

A partial list of speakers include:

  • LB Thomas, the Big Cheese at LBTJ Ad Agency; a founder and President of TWIB (Texas Women in Business); Austin Business Journal Top 25 Woman of Influence
  • Carol Warkoczewski, City Architect of City of San Antonio, TX; founder of I-LinCP
  • Mark Hairston, Mortgage Loan Officer
  • Lisa Bargsley, Certified de Bono Trainer of Six Thinking Hats; Sage Speaking
  • Michele Viera, Mortgage Specialist

Your TIP is to have fun and imagine what your success would look and feel like.

Attend Free, Fun & Fruitful to discover how you can launch your success to receive results beyond your wildest imagination.
This is for you if:

  • you long to share your business or gifts with the world in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
  • you choose to be in the Now, ignite your Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what you love.
  • you’d like to revel in good feeling mojo with wonderful people
  • you’re a seasoned masterminder who’d like to plug into the mastermind energy and connect with your mastermind community.

TO REGISTER, SEND ME AN EMAIL AND SAY “YES.  I’LL BE THERE!”
vg@ResolvedForResults.com

I’m confident that if you’re open to receive, you’ll discover keys to greater success.

Seating is limited. If you’re getting a nudge to go, I highly encourage you to register for free now.

If you aren’t able to make it, contact me to learn more!