Archive for the ‘Ego & How to Let It Go’ Category

Who Do You Believe More – You or Others? 

November 13, 2017

break free - believe

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.



If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.


Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Advertisements

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Do You Wish Things Had Turned Out Differently?

August 7, 2017

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

Why did she stay in a funk for so long? She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

In her ego’s way of thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried.  “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied dredging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations. Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being not good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when each looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.


Now, each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Your interpretation of them determines if you see these as mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy.

Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced one of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love. 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.P.S. All stories are shared after having received permission. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Not enough time? This story may help you.

July 25, 2017

“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.

On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.

There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.

Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.

Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.

After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.

As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.

Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.

Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

How he set himself up for stress

While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.

Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.

Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.

His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?

After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:

“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low.  Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”

As an adult, stress still garnered him attention.  Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.

One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.

In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.

An alternative

Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.

At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.

A co-worker just happened to call.

When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.

Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:

  • Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
  • Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
  • By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
  • In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.

If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off? 

Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.

Start releasing patterns through awareness 

  • Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
  • Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
  • Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
  • Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
  • Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”

When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.

What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Tyranny or Freedom?

July 3, 2017

While living in Washington, D.C., I’d park my car, run up 58 steps and be in awe at the towering and erect presence of one of the great men who founded the United States of America. Thomas Jefferson also served as our third President from 1801 to 1809.

I sometimes visited the Jefferson Memorial when I could be alone in this hallowed sanctum. It was possible to do because it’s open around the clock.

Standing amidst the white marble steps and building, my eyes would gaze at the 129′ bronze statue and excerpts of the Declaration of Independence, whose principal author was Jefferson.

However, the reason I kept returning was to slowly turn in a circle to read the inscription under the dome:

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”  Thomas Jefferson to Dr. Benjamin Rush, September 23, 1800.

I didn’t realize at the time how these words, which still bring tears to my eyes, would be emblazoned within me. They inspired my lifetime passion, “upon the altar of God,” to help others and myself live in freedom through liberation of the “tyranny over the mind of man.”

The definition of tyranny includes the oppression, often cruel, of people or a government over others. Another aspect is an unreasonable or arbitrary use of power or control.

For me, there’s a twist to this. It reminds me of a quote by American Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry in 1813.  Most famously, it was quipped by cartoonist Walt Kelly on a couple of Earth Day posters when Pogo said:

The voice in your head, motivated by an insecure ego, can be your enemy and create the greatest form of tyranny.

These inner rants can be cruel, unreasonable, oppressive and arbitrary. If you allow this to dominate, you relinquish control of your life.

Know that you have the power of choice! 

You can choose to listen to your Essence, instead.


Especially those familiar with my teachings about “choosing,” you might be interested in this. When I was thirty years old, I had the first sentence of the following quote by Jefferson on a wall plate of a light switch:

“Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for oneself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice, and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing.”

Pondering this message regularly, I knew there was more to it than I could understand at the time. I’m now aware of this:

We are free to choose. We are so free, we can choose fear or freedom.

We choose our thoughts, which impact our emotions, which creates our lives. What hinders our freedom is allowing our minds to be tyrannized by any limiting beliefs. From anyone. From any circumstance or condition. From the tyrannical inner voice.


A client showed me a picture of a tow truck driver who quickly and skillfully used multiple cables to turn upright a parked truck that had been hit by a car and had completely flipped over.

The driver was very good-natured, and his demeanor radiated a cheerful attitude and peace.

Both of his arms stopped below his elbows.

He had a prosthetic leg, too.

He is a living demonstration of choosing his attitude and outlook on life. He wasn’t tyrannized by his physical condition and whatever caused it.


We in America celebrate our country’s birthday on the Fourth of July, our Independence Day. It’s a time of freedom.

While talking with others about a life-changing break for freedom during the week of July 4th when I was 20, others shared their stories of freedom that happened around this time, too.

Soon, the French will celebrate their day of freedom on July 14, Bastille Day.

Tyranny or freedom?

You can choose to hold in your mind’s eye the freedom and intentions that our forefathers envisioned while founding the United States.

What freedom and independence do you choose for you?

Start with freeing yourself from the tyranny of your mind, where nothing and nobody can touch you.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

I Confess. I Didn’t Know How to Handle This… Until Now.

June 12, 2017

Arguing earthworms

An acclaimed author and speaker sat across the aisle from me during a shuttle bus ride to a conference.

She was recognized by the woman sitting behind her who started a conversation between the two of them.

Just as the ride ended, with a sweet smile and feigned good intentions that she probably believed were innocent and necessary to express, she trashed the famous person with subtle (not really subtle) advice/put downs.

As an observer, I watched the powerful woman’s face drop as she didn’t know what hit her. While disembarking from the bus, I quietly told her that she didn’t do what the accuser claimed, and the other woman was making stuff up.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­


After meditating about me and out of so-called concern, a woman decided to list extensively my shortcomings since the beginning of our friendship. She had a pattern of telling me these every couple of years for fifteen years. Adding insult to injury, her skewed perspective caused her opinions to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Her last sharing was her final one with me.


Can you recall interactions that left you wondering whaa – what just happened?

Or maybe you’ve claimed the title of tell-it-like-you-think-others-should-be-or-should-know-about-themselves.

I confess. In the past, handling crazy-makers like these often left me clumsily dumbfounded and reactive. Maybe a month or a year later, I’d think of a clever yet still unsatisfactory response.

Recently during a session with one of my teachers, the sky opened and fairy dust of understanding gently rained upon me.

I’m sharing my pixie enlightenment about some reasons why others use manipulative behaviors that blind-side and what to do about it.

Also, a heads up if this is your M.O. You may choose to stop it. As Dale Carnegie wrote, the pay off is that you’ll win friends, influence more people and feel authentically better about yourself.

THE WHY:

When people are afraid, they look to fight anybody. They will attack a strong person. (You might be perceived as strong by others, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself).

The underlying, usually unconscious thinking of pointing out faults of a strong person is this: I’m insecure. Let’s see if I can take you down to my level.

It’s someone else’s fault, and they’re going to point it out. “Others” are doing something wrong.

Those who use passive-aggressive behavior look for weak parts and take aim at those frailties. 

  1. It can create self-doubt in the other person and throw them off-balance.
  2. It can invert the strong person’s attention onto themselves and away from the aggressor’s shortcomings.

However, the problem actually rests within them. They don’t want to work on their own issues, so they blame others. Again, the focus is on others and their faults so the perpetrators don’t have to look at themselves.

It reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle said regarding people who complain about others, including other drivers.  Disapproval of others makes their ego feel “morally superior,” even to strangers driving in cars.

Passive-aggressiveness is a self-esteem boosting technique born out of feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. It’s one way to get attention and have people listen, which they might not have experienced in their past. 

In short, one way passive-aggressiveness works is to criticize how others are wrong in order to feel better about themselves, enhance superiority or get something they want. 

WHAT TO DO:

Don’t agree or argue with them. Tell them, “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree.”

They want you to defend yourself or argue. If you don’t, they look like an idiot.

Eventually, they’ll stop trying to attack because you offer no resistance. Their attempts to get you to provide fuel to fill up their tank of self-esteem isn’t working (instead of finding it within themselves).

Also, they can’t understand you if you talk with them logically when they’re seeing things emotionally. You’re both on different wavelengths. You can’t hear an FM station when you’re tuned into AM.

People blaming “the others,” be it personally, politically, in business or otherwise, is a scapegoat from looking at their own issues.

Does any of this fairy dust bring clarity to you, your business or work?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

What Pruning & Cleaning Clutter Teaches Me

May 3, 2017
2169239749_3487eb4753[1]

Last week, when I wasn’t coaching, I was outside doing yardwork.

Before that, I cleaned every single paper off my desk (yikes, that took weeks of chipping away at it), deleted or filed hundreds of emails (still got more to go), cleared out pockets of clutter around my house and completed projects I’ve been meaning to get to for seemingly forever.

I finally washed 40 jars and bought new spices for a rack I bought three years ago.

I updated my password list. I’ve been receiving regular bodywork to support my back, now that it’s aligned. I glued the lining of a favorite shoe. I’m deepening my meditations.

We leak our energy when there are things that need our attention, but we put off or ignore them.

In my twenties, I sat very close to the stage and watched the late, great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar. He gave everyone in the audience a wooden round Tuit to remind us to get around to it – whatever we’ve been putting off.
_____________________________

As I gaze out my window, sunlight shines throughout the day on areas that used to be completely covered in shade. What a metaphor. I learned that the shadows disappeared by allowing more light to come through because I cleared out the clutter and dead branches. Life can grow in places it couldn’t before.

_____________________________

Spring cleaning my office, home and yard opens space for my next steps.

While doing in-depth sessions, I had the inner space to remember and use techniques I learned decades ago that are helping clients break free of their egos’ self-sabotage.

Beyond mulching and clearing, I’m planting what a neighbor calls jewelry – pretty flowers in my yard.

Step at a time, I’m preparing my soil for future growth in all areas of my life.

Sometimes the old gets cleared out through nature and evolution. Fires clear weaker trees and debris and returns health to the forest. Challenges clear out limiting thinking and beliefs that sabotage greater success and happiness.

Last year at this time, my biggest goal was to sleep. For a year, I was the caretaker for my cat who woke me throughout the night to cope with her illness, which left me feeling like a sleep-deprived zombie. Before that, my attention was focused on getting rid of a devastating mold caused by torrential rains that affected my body, head, home and finances. That was two years ago this month. _____________________________

Since my cat passed last June, I realized the energy of “catching up” and feeling “overwhelmed with so much to do” were visualizations that would only create my having to dig out of a bigger hole.

I would have liked everything in my life to be in order yesterday.

Instead, I see myself being “in front of” my life, business and finances. This focus has placed me on a new trajectory.

It’s working. Things are getting done. I’m feeling good. I see new horizons.

_____________________________

If you’re clearing out the old through challenges, may you find greater peace with a perspective of gratitude and see light that graces your life in ways it couldn’t before. Blue skies follow storms.

If you’ve been putting off taking care of things that you wish were over and done, consider getting around to it. One step at a time will do.

Begin. The rest is easy.

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? You’re invited to pass this on.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Is God Doing This to You?

April 27, 2017

Laughing Buddha (2)

Do you feel that at your core you’re chopped liver – a bumbling incompetent who’s made irredeemable mistakes?

Do you think you might be a candidate for the Guinness Book of World Records for “worst blunders ever made by anyone anywhere?”

Do you believe it’s justifiable, then, for others to look down or laugh at you?

That would be a kinda harsh opinion of yourself, ya think?

Now what if you amped up this judgmental blather a notch to believe this is how God or the universe sees you?

As a result of this thinking, an all-loving Prime Creator of life would laugh at you, too.

______________________________

A woman, who’s experiencing big challenges, quoted Woody Allen: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

She felt her best thinking and plans got her to this turning point, and she’s made a mess of it.

______________________________

By this statement, she expanded her focus from those who are judgy and laugh at others’ expense to include a mean-spirited God laughing at her.

What a great example of the ego’s Jedi Mind Trick. It loves to make you wrong and compare you and your success and money (or so-called lack of them) to others – you’re not good enough or certainly not as good as “them.”

Ponder this:

If you’re a parent, do you want your kids to wait for your permission before doing things?

Would you want to train them to be afraid of making mistakes and decisions? Because of this, they’d doubt themselves and procrastinate.

After a while, you might suggest they stand on their own feet and make their own choices. Even if they screw up, which inevitably everyone does, they’re learning.

____________________________

How can you stay true to your spiritual roots and make good decisions?
Empower yourself by aligning with your inner spirit first.
Find your anchor inside of you.
Breathe.
Detach from others’ opinions of what you should do as well as your reaction to life’s circumstances.
How does something feel – good or not so much?
Then make decisions and take action.
This world is designed for everyone to make mistakes.
It’s perfectly impossible to be perfect.
The lesson is not about giving up on your plans but on being true to you.

______________________________

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 is “I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

The second half of Principle #4 is “…I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.”

It goes on to give a TIP:

“If you doubt and don’t trust your Self because of past mistakes, consider this. If you listened to and trusted your Self, instead of your fears and others’ opinions, you wouldn’t have made the mistakes.”

A healthy parent loves a child even though mistakes are made.

We are children of a loving God, a supportive universe.

The plans you make are backed up by an unconditionally loving Supreme Being – even if your plans leave something to be desired. That’s how you’re learning.

You are loved. You are supported. You are cared for deeply.

Live your life with kind compassion, starting with yourself.

P.S. Know someone who’s beating themselves up? They might appreciate you sharing this post with them.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.