Archive for the ‘Ego & How to Let It Go’ Category

Forgiveness and Gratitude Like This WILL Change YOUR Life

November 19, 2018

 

blessings

May you enjoy this season of giving thanks and the sentiments expressed in the reprint from last year’s Thanksgiving post, found after my today’s italicized message to you.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool to help you break free.

We’re rarely angry for the reason we think we’re angry. How dare they!

That feeling is not about the other person or situation being wrong. The emotion triggered may be from a similar, emotional memory or our perception that may or may not be accurate.

Have you noticed how sometimes people can jump to the wrong conclusion and then become upset by their interpretation, even if it’s false?

Regardless if the other was right or actually the wrongdoer, holding on to a lack of forgiveness or a one-sided, limiting perspective can feel empowering. It can feel validating, proof that you’re right and the other is wrong.

The ego loves feeling right.

There might even be another side of the story that you’re not considering because you’re locked into your viewpoint.

Your Essence knows the trap of self-righteousness and sees things differently.

A mother copped an attitude about erroneous, perceived activity by her senior-aged daughter. Rather than talk about it or seeing proof to the contrary, she set a court date. The whole issue could be easily dismissed, but not even going to mediation altered her perspective.

Replacing her anger, frustration, hurt and fear of what her own mother was doing to her, the daughter began to send her mother love, disregarding any unforgiving attitudes. The mother’s now softening and questioning her hardline approach.

Empowerment through shifting your perspective to love and gratitude are more truly empowering than feeling justification through a lack of forgiveness. Maybe there’s another angle you’re overlooking.

Perhaps, given an opportunity, you can clear the energy through discussion or seeing things from another viewpoint.

Even if others are wrong, you can be emotionally free.

With gratitude,

Virginia

The reprinted post:

I rudely interrupted myself while grumbling in my head about things I didn’t like.

It’s when I remembered that I recently found out that three people, who played significant roles in my life, left the planet a few years ago. In addition, at least 56 of my high school classmates passed on.

Yet, I’m still here, and I am gifted with another day to make more mistakes, learn, change, grow, love and Be.

You’re reading this, which means you and I are in the same gifted boat. Even if your life has a few or lots of things going on that make you feel like you’re riding on choppy water, you’re alive. There’s definitely hope. Life can get better and greater.

Here’s how you can turn the tide to flow in your favor even more.

Gratitude is a powerful energy that shifts our focus away from what we don’t have, what’s not working, who done us wrong or who’s missing in our lives, how goofy the world is and everyone’s woeful inadequacies.

When we redirect our attention to gratitude, in spite of appearances that seduce us to believe the opposite, we open ourselves to receive beyond our wildest expectations. The impossible becomes possible.

I wondered how different people and religions value gratitude. With the upcoming American holiday of Thanksgiving, and my interest in sharing this attitude of gratitude with you, here are some quotes I found.

These also reflect why gratitude affects your success, money, relationships, life, health, happiness… and everything! As like attracts like, it’s Law of Attraction at its finest

Be sure to keep reading, because soon I’ll share a way of giving thanks that, when you practice it, WILL change your life.


Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity. It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.“ Melodie Beattie


When I gladden my heart, I awaken the energy of gratitude. It is an energy that elevates and expands, and brings me to a deeper place in my heart. By opening my heart, I can feel gratitude deeply. Gratitude shifts the moment by shifting me. Nothing around me changes; I change.

Things do not create gratitude; the energy of joy inside of me creates gratitude.“  Deepak Chopra

[By the way, just like the sun shines above cloudy skies, underneath the funkiness you might feel at times is joy. Joy is always present; you’ll see it if you choose to look in its direction.]


 
Be not like those who honor their gods in prosperity and curse them in adversity.  In pleasure or pain, give thanks!“ Judaism.  Midrash, Mekilta to Exodus 20.20

 


[Here’s why focusing on what you don’t have creates lack. With gratitude, you focus on what you have.]

For whoever has, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whoever has not, from him shall be taken away even that he has.“ Matthew 13:12, American King James Version


[Look how similar this is.]

“If you are grateful, I will give you more.”  The Koran 14:7


[Don’t wait to be grateful one day of the year.]

And if your gratitude is strong and constant, the reaction in Formless Substance will be strong and continuous; the movement of the things you want will be always toward you…

It is necessary, then, to cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you; and to give thanks continuously.“ Wallace D. Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich


 

What’s the life-changing way to have gratitude?

During a group discussion of the above-mentioned book by Wattles, I suddenly heard this in a new way. It’s not just occasional gratitude; it’s living in a state of gratitude, continuous gratitude.

Gratitude, continuous gratitude, will change your life!

I made a decision for this moment, and then extending it to this minute (more moments), this hour, today, this week, lifetime and beyond, to give thanks continuously.

Will you join me?

I know I will get distracted from my choice to live in continuous gratitude.

However, when I catch myself, I can shift my focus away from lack, my pity pot and what’s not working to being grateful.

It won’t matter how many times I’ll fall off my wagon of continuous gratitude; I can always get back on.

So can you.

Happy Days of Gratitude and Giving Thanks!

 
P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Quotes by Deepak Chopra: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

September 24, 2018

Deepak Chopra Ready to Enter- 2012 February 21 001

Deepak Chopra standing next to me as he prepared to enter the stage in 2012.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra is a transformational work. “Desperate striving isn’t necessary or even desirable. In the natural world, creation comes forth with ease. A seed doesn’t struggle to become a tree―it simply unfolds in grace.”

May you enjoy manifesting your heart’s desires, be they business or personal, with ease and grace.

“The Ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.”

“At the moment you consciously make a choice, pay attention to your body and ask your body, “If I make this choice, what happens?” If your body sends a message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If your body sends a message of discomfort, then it’s not the appropriate choice.”

“Attachment to money will always create insecurity no matter how much money you have in the bank.”

“Consciously put your attention in the heart and ask your heart what to do.”

“When you struggle against this moment, you’re actually struggling against the entire universe.”

“Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will wither, disintegrate, and disappear.”

“Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

“Least effort is expended when our actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love.”

“What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing.”

“When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature’s intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates — and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.”

“But when our internal reference point is our spirit, our actions are motivated by love, and there is no waste of energy. Our energy multiplies, and the surplus energy we gather can be channeled to create anything we want, including unlimited wealth. When we harness the power of harmony and love, we use our energy creatively for the experience of affluence and evolution.”

“By looking at the behavior of the cells in our own body, we can observe the most extraordinary and efficient expression of The Seven Spiritual Laws. This is the genius of nature’s intelligence. These are the thoughts of God – the rest are details.”

“We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.”

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals. 

10 Inspirational Quotes on the Power of Words

August 13, 2018
speak no evil

Speak No Evil

A woman, who always took care of others, used to ask when it was going to be her turn to be taken care of. She told me that her own words sentenced her to needing to being taken care of 24/7 because of her health.

A man used to talk about his desire to be surrounded by women. He joked that it happened… after he got married.

Recently, I read an email from an online entrepreneur sharing how he posted his father’s saying on his computer, Every day is the dawn of a new error.” He went to work daily expecting things to fail, and they did. “Every day” and “Every. Single. Evening.” It became a self-fulfilling prophecy. He turned them into learning experiences, but he was unaware of how these words created his problems.

Author Florence Scovel Shinn wrote, “Your word is your wand. The words you speak create your own destiny.”

People unconsciously throw words around that create their unwanted circumstances. They don’t realize how words create a mold that life then fills with reality.

Words reveal the way you think and feel, and your mindset shapes your world.

“There exists, for everyone, a sentence – a series of words – that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you’re lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.” Philip K. Dick, Valis

You become accustomed to your word choices, often unaware how you “create your own destiny” through them. For example, if you speak of indecisiveness or confusion about your future, you skew your energy and will continue to create more confusion. “Maybe I’ll do this or maybe I’ll do that. I don’t know. I’ll wait to see what life brings me.”

Speaking about your future like this perpetuates uncertainty. The one thing for certain is that you’re creating more uncertainty. Life will bring you whatever your think, feel and say.

More life-affirming is to speak words where you see yourself having clarity, regardless of what’s going on in your life now.

You can say, instead, something as simple as, “I enjoy what I’m doing.”  “I love where I’m living.” “I’m fulfilled doing what I love.” “I’m grateful for my healthy body.”

“Change your thoughts, and in the twinkling of an eye, all your conditions change. Your world is a world of crystallized ideas, crystallized words. Sooner or later, you reap the fruits of your words and thoughts.” Florence Scovel Shinn

You can stop the habit of speaking words that create limitation. The best way is through awareness and paying attention to the words you speak.

To break your pattern, stop yourself, even mid-sentence, as soon as you recognize you’re speaking words that may hold you back in your future. Rephrase yourself using more affirming word choices. 

As soon as you catch yourself speaking words of limit, you can break the habit of unconsciously cursing your own future with limitation. Otherwise, you may be in a flow, but it may be a flow of unconscious negativity.

Think of driving a car and going off the pavement. You’re on the grass, but you’re enjoying the flow of driving so much that you don’t want to stop. When you end up in a ditch, you wonder how this happened to you.

That’s what occurs when you allow words of limitation, confusion or doubt to gain momentum. Your words that follow limiting words are often equally limited. However, you can stop yourself by consciously changing the words that shape your future. It’s indicative of you changing the way you think and feel.

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words
Watch your words, they become your actions
Watch your actions, they become your habits
Watch your habits, they become your character
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
– Attributed to multiple sources

“Words are loaded pistols.”  Jean-Paul Sartre

“You can change your world by changing your words… Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Joel Osteen

“Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more.” Confucius

“Words are free. It’s how you use them that may cost you.”   KushandWizdom

“If we understood the power of our thoughts, we would guard them more closely. If we understood the awesome power of our words, we would prefer silence to almost anything negative. In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive.”  Betty Eadie

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy.” Florence Scovel Shinn

May you enjoy consciously creating your future through your words.

Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2018 Virginia Goszewska, All rights reserved.

Tyranny or Freedom? Special 4th of July Message

July 2, 2018

Jefferson Memorial - Mind of Man

In recognition of the Fourth of July, I’m reposting last year’s blog. Having received great feedback then, perhaps it will inspire you now, too.

May you enjoy the spirit of freedom!

Virginia

 

While living in Washington, D.C., I’d park my car, run up 58 steps and be in awe at the towering and erect presence of one of the great men who founded the United States of America. Thomas Jefferson also served as our third President from 1801 to 1809. 

I sometimes visited the Jefferson Memorial late at night when I could be alone in this hallowed sanctum. It was possible to do because it’s open around the clock.

Standing amidst the white marble steps and building, my eyes would gaze at the 129′ bronze statue as well as excerpts of the Declaration of Independence, whose principal author was Jefferson.

However, the reason I kept returning was to slowly turn in a circle to read the inscription under the dome:

I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”  Thomas Jefferson to Dr. Benjamin Rush, September 23, 1800.

 
I didn’t realize at the time how these words, which still bring tears to my eyes, would be emblazoned within me. They inspired my lifetime passion, “upon the altar of God,” to help others and myself live in freedom through liberation of the “tyranny over the mind of man.”
 

The definition of tyranny includes the oppression, often cruel, of people or a government over others. Another aspect is an unreasonable or arbitrary use of power or control.

For me, there’s a twist to this. It reminds me of a quote by American Navy Commodore Oliver Hazard Perry in 1813.  Most famously, it was quipped by cartoonist Walt Kelly on a couple of Earth Day posters when Pogo said:

The voice in your head, motivated by an insecure ego, can be your enemy and create the greatest form of tyranny.

These inner rants can be cruel, unreasonable, oppressive and arbitrary. If you allow this to dominate, you relinquish control of your life. 

Know that you have the power of choice! 

You can choose to listen to your Essence, instead.
 


Especially those familiar with my teachings about “choosing,” you might be interested in this. When I was thirty years old, I had the first sentence of the following quote by Jefferson on a wall plate of a light switch:

“Freedom is the right to choose: the right to create for oneself the alternatives of choice. Without the possibility of choice, and the exercise of choice, a man is not a man but a member, an instrument, a thing.”

Pondering this message regularly, I knew there was more to it than I could understand at the time. I’m now aware of this:

We are free to choose. We are so free, we can choose fear or freedom.

We choose our thoughts, which impact our emotions, which creates our lives. What hinders our freedom is allowing our minds to be tyrannized by any limiting beliefs. From anyone. From any circumstance or condition. From the tyrannical inner voice.


A client showed me a picture of a tow truck driver who quickly and skillfully used multiple cables to turn upright a parked truck that had been hit by a car and had completely flipped over.

The driver was very good-natured, and his demeanor radiated a cheerful attitude and peace.

Both of his arms stopped below his elbows.

He had a prosthetic leg, too.

He is a living demonstration of choosing his attitude and outlook on life. He wasn’t tyrannized by his physical condition and whatever caused it.


We in America celebrate our country’s birthday on the Fourth of July, our Independence Day. It’s a time of freedom.

While talking with others about a life-changing break for freedom I made during the week of July 4th when I was 20, others shared their stories of freedom that happened around this time, too.

Soon, the French will celebrate their day of freedom on July 14, Bastille Day.

Tyranny or freedom? 

You can choose to hold in your mind’s eye the freedom and intentions that our forefathers envisioned while founding the United States.

What freedom and independence do you choose for you?

Start with freeing yourself from the tyranny of your mind, where nothing and nobody can touch you.

P.S. Know someone who might
enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2018 Virginia Goszewska, All rights reserved.

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

June 18, 2018

me you

Here’s a simple formula:

If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it’s probably the other person who’s the culprit.

Your programming includes the belief that there’s something wrong or oddly divergent about you, so now you believe it. Then you attract others who accuse you of the same thing, which adds proof that your seeming inadequacy must be true. The only reason this keeps happening is because your beliefs attract experiences that mirror your thinking and feeling. Your core assumption that there’s something wrong with you is false and can leave you feeling your life is out of control.

If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about other people, the issue probably is yours.

Your programming includes not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life and then projecting your feelings on others. You really believe other people are to blame for the wrongs done to you. On top of that, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs or you can feel they just don’t get it.  If only they’d apologize, you’d be validated… but the relief doesn’t last for long because the underlying issue hasn’t been released.

Regardless if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same.

Here are excerpts from my September 2015 blog post:

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Ever feel that you want to crawl into bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when thoughts add interpretation to emotions… which lead to beliefs… which can create those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

Eckhart Tolle said “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry and envy are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these appear to be justified and usually another person is blamed for these feelings. The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in your life but in the very structure of the egoic mind.

How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?

Ask if what you believe is true. You’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.

If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute.

Trekkie Talk

Data, an enlightened artificial intelligence life form, gets it as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:

Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.

Clone: I do not understand.

Data: I know.

And Data detached the clone from its power source.

When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding. It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as the person becomes a pawn to do the ego’s bidding. When YOU are in charge, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to make your dreams real.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)

I created a tool called Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes charge. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.

You’re More Than Enough

Don’t fall for lies of limitation.

The ego is a tool and will echo what you think and say. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming others. Go beyond the separation between you and others. Let go of trying to control or allowing others to control the way you feel and act.

Instead, shift your focus to you are more than enough.  Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you. You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck, could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Can’t Figure Out What to Do?

June 4, 2018

boy at crossroad

A 14-year old boy kept repeating to his mom that he didn’t know what to do. She astutely realized that he was too young to be obsessing like this. Taking full responsibility, she told him that this was her issue and not his.

In fact, her mother had the same default pattern, when problems arose, of feeling like she didn’t know what to do, and it was passed on intergenerationally – from mother to daughter to son.

Not knowing what to do was a learned response. They copied their parents’ response when challenged. It wasn’t that they couldn’t know what to do, but these automatic thoughts made them stuck.

I understood because my mother had the same pattern. When a confounding problem arose, she would resort to deer-in-headlights mode, being blinded temporarily. With some quandaries, it became permanent.

Having absorbed this pattern myself (until I was able to notice when it showed up), I would adopt the same mental responses: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. 

The result was feeling stuck, not knowing where to turn.


The ego, the false identity we all have, uses limited techniques. Nonetheless, we often buy into them hook, line and sinker. It will have us question our ability to believe in ourselves by popping in circular thoughts like “what am I going to do. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve got to figure it out.”

If we haven’t had a particular experience before, there’s no reason why we should know what to do. However, the ego will have us beat ourselves up, sometimes mercilessly, leading us to believe there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out what to do.


The ego is a computer that only knows what it’s been programmed to do. For example, if a computer hasn’t been programmed for the Swahili language, it’s impossible for it to communicate in Swahili. Nor would we expect that it should.

However, we can get very upset with ourselves for not knowing the answer to something with which we’ve had no experience.

There is a way out! Our inner essence, the wise part within, has access to unlimited intelligence. By asking our inner wisdom, we can find answers.

Once I had a stressful situation where I noticed that I silently was repeating in circles: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?

I recognized that there’s a part of me that absolutely had no clue to a solution. None.

Instead, I asked a part of me that knows. What can I do?

Off I left for an appointment. While walking back to my car after my meeting, an idea came to me. It was a simple solution that only required me to drive somewhere to address the situation in person. Problem solved.

Don’t bother getting upset with yourself when you feel stuck. That would be falling for the ego’s tricks. Skip feeling miserable.

Instead, ask the part of you that has wisdom and can access answers beyond your wildest imagination. 

Your answers are within.

 
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Do People Bug You? Maybe I’m One of Them.

May 21, 2018

girl in mirror

We’re interested in our self-image at a very young age.
The possibilities of how we’d like the world to see us are endless.

 

I’ve had an uncanny knack of what I used to perceive as saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

My tendency is to hear unhelpful thought patterns, what people are thinking and feeling (instead of what they’re actually saying) or maybe trying to hide from others as well as themselves. This can really bug people because we all have a self-image, belief or emotional need we try to communicate, but I’m responding to what others unconsciously project or the issues they’ve suppressed.

Then I may say things, usually unintentionally, that trigger and expose that part of them that they’re trying to hide or ignore.

We all have a self-image that we’ve created, and this is what we want the world to see. When someone empathically sees through the projection and instead sees what people are really thinking and feeling… well, most don’t see themselves as having the problem. They believe the fault lies with others.

Our thoughts and feelings are found in a field of energy that emanates from us. They create a filter through which we see the world.

Even when we we’re hiding something or trying to act positive when we’re really not, others can sense it. This is especially true if the others are empathic, which means they can feel people’s energies, hear and see beyond others’ spoken words.


You may have felt this, too, when people give you an excuse for not wanting to do something that you know isn’t the truth. They expect you to buy their inauthentic story, but your gut knows better. 


Sometimes I say things that annoy others, which can lead to their breakthrough.

Years ago when my mom was alive, she used a walker after a hospital stay. One day, she got so mad at me for something I said that she threw the walker aside just to show me how angry she was.

And that was the end of her using the walker.

Inadvertently, I said something that triggered her to release the need for her walker, which then freed her to walk on her own. 

My uncanny ability to say things that might annoy people has happened so frequently in my life that I asked one of my teachers about it. I have a knack for highlighting truths that people don’t want to look at even though it could help them.

He replied, “I know this may sound strange, but God wants you to say these things.”

OK, but still it’s rather awkward because people usually don’t want to connect the dots to reveal what they’ve been hiding even to themselves, and I don’t get informed in advance of how I’m being used to awaken people.

Granted, this doesn’t exclude me from saying or doing dumb things because I’m fully capable of saying and doing dumb things all on my own. But now I don’t beat myself over it like I used to because often those seemingly dumb things may serve a bigger purpose of bringing up people’s issues that they can release, if they choose. If they’re ready.

My clients have experienced this during coaching sessions when I say something that really bothers them.

At first they might believe it’s my fault for saying things or not saying things in a way that pleases them. I’ll say or do something that triggers their issue. (Oh what a gift… is it too late to apply for one that’s more glamorous?)

For the ego, blame must be placed on something or someone outside oneself.

However, we’re never mad for the reasons we think we’re mad, and the irritation opens an opportunity for a breakthrough.

During an upset, a crossroads emerge. Choice point: react and finger point or pause and reflect? When have I had this emotional reaction I’m feeling before? Maybe starting in childhood? Is this a pattern? Do I often react in the same way?

If one is willing, the aha moment arises. Perhaps because they see it, they can start to let go of this pattern.

At the moment the ego starts to act out, there’s a choice: be a victim, blame others, defend one’s viewpoint, get irritated or see and release patterns that have been holding them back.

What can be revealed is that very mysterious something that may have been holding them back throughout their entire lives!

For issues to be released they usually surface first, and those moments before one has clarity and breaks free can be f@*%#!!! irritating.

However, emotional and mental releasing of stuffed issues has assisted my clients to soar to greater heights personally and professionally.

I don’t heal, but I help clients remove blocks that in the past prevented them from healing themselves.

For example:

If you’re upset because you feel you’re not being heard or understood or you feel you’re being pushed into doing things you don’t want to do, maybe you felt suppressed as a child. If you’re really over the issue, you wouldn’t be bothered by others’ behaviors and would articulate your feelings without anger, blame or frustration. Maybe this is your break-free opportunity.

Perhaps you feel uncomfortable around arrogant people who have greater wealth or status than you. At the root of why you feel this way, you discover your self-worth feels jeopardized. You may choose not to be around those braggadocious pygmies. But instead of being aggravated while you’re with them, you can observe and be silently entertained at their self-centered actions.


“We would like to help you to understand that neither the good feeling you find when you observe wanted behavior, nor the bad feeling you find when you observe unwanted behavior, is actually the reason that you feel good or bad. The way you feel is only ever about your alignment, or misalignment, with the Source within you. It is only your relationship with the Source within you (with your own Inner Being) that is the reason for the emotions that you feel.”

“When you think about other people and what they think of you, do you understand that what they think of you has very little to do with what you are? It has mostly to do with the habits of thought that they have developed. It has more to do with them as thinkers than it does with you as the subject of their thought.”

Abraham-Hicks


If you’re bugged by somebody or something, what pattern are you on the verge of releasing?

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Who Do You Believe More – You or Others? 

November 13, 2017

break free - believe

Recently while flying, I sat next to a woman who was miserable and distraught because she needed to change, but she didn’t know how or what to do. 

A junk business was dumped on her that she had no interest in but had to run for the last five years. She wanted out of a long-term, unhappy marriage where most of their time was spent fighting. Before our conversation, she had zero clarity of direction and no idea at all what to do for income if she left. Plus, they had so much debt that she felt trapped with few options available.

It soon became obvious how she cornered herself. She had a multitude of flawed beliefs that she clung to and wasn’t open to seeing other perspectives… even though these ideas were holding her back!

She was adamant that she couldn’t believe in herself because she, like all people, are transgressors, and her head was filled with negative self-talk.

I asked her if she couldn’t believe in herself, how would she be able to trust what God wanted her to do? She was the one who was listening and watching for a sign, and she proclaimed herself to be untrustworthy.

She lived in fear, unhappiness, frustration, confusion and hopelessness. Her hamster-wheel thinking lacked clarity, and her life mirrored her misguided notions.

Society grooms us not to trust or believe in ourselves. Instead, we’ve been trained in self-doubt and to believe we’re wrong.

We’ve been taught to elevate the opinion of others and feel helpless compared to the power of spiritual forces, experts, leaders, books, spouses, family, friends, bosses, teachers, doctors, world events and even TV commercials.

However, if we don’t learn to trust and believe in ourselves, we’ll be at the mercy of the whims and, very often, limited ideas of others.



If you think there’s something wrong with you, you’ll attract experiences to validate that your beliefs are true.

If you shift your perspective to see yourself as a divine child of God or the holy spirit, or a child of an unlimited universe, you open yourself to receive greater abundance, success, love, happiness and health. 

97% of human bodies are made of stardust, and an analysis of over 150,000 stars in our Milky Way galaxy proved this is literally true.

The Crosby, Stills & Nash song was right: “We are stardust, we are golden. We are billion year old carbon.”

So stop making yourself small. Your heritage is divinely celestial! 

If you don’t believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you don’t believe in you, how will you be able to tune in to your inner guidance, the sweet whispers of direction from within? How will you be able to distinguish it from the nagging voice in your head of fear, worry, doubt and self-belittlement?

If you’re waiting for others, many who live by flawed beliefs, to recognize your worth, you may be better served by going within to recognize your value.

If others don’t believe in themselves, they aren’t capable of fully believing in you.


Be vigilant about how you picture yourself.

Do you see yourself as not good enough? Can you see how your life would change if you believed you have access to infinite possibilities, even if you don’t have a clue as to how to manifest them?

Right now, breathe and take a moment for yourself. Breathe and go beyond the chatter of others and your thoughts.

The more you practice this, the more you’ll discover your self-worth and that you are deeply loved.

When you tap into this essence of you, you’ll feel good about yourself.

When you feel good about yourself, you open to receive abundance and success as you go beyond lack– lack of love, money, time, health, business, fun, acceptance, respect and happiness.

And you believe in you!

This is why I created the Liberation of Lunacy (LoL technique), because when the ego is in charge, and limiting beliefs only come from the ego, we’re all a little bit crazy.

When your ego is in charge, you can’t see a way out.

When your essence is in charge, you tap into an infinite source within. You trust and believe in yourself.

You’re golden.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.


I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Do You Wish Things Had Turned Out Differently?

August 7, 2017

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

Why did she stay in a funk for so long? She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

In her ego’s way of thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried.  “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied dredging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations. Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being not good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when each looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.


Now, each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Your interpretation of them determines if you see these as mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy.

Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced one of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love. 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.P.S. All stories are shared after having received permission. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.