Posts Tagged ‘Eckhart Tolle’

Stop Fear in Its Tracks

June 3, 2019

Please enjoy my Soulgoal Missive, which I resurrected from my July 2002 archives. This was the year after the September 11 terrorist attacks, and fear was rampant.

“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.
Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away.

People work, live, and don’t notice fear most of the time because it’s so familiar. It can lurk in the background like a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen… a feeling of anticipation, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

There are countless ways to mask it, such as using power over others, escapes like too much television, overuse of substances, addictions, sex, being controlling, seeking approval, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage that we are only given what we can handle.

We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life. Always.

“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” 

Franklin D. Roosevelt, U.S. President during World II

What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear.

If you want to reduce fear, take a deep breath and surround what you fear with love. I know this can sound crazy, but consider this.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Generating fear in others makes them stronger as it’s their food, their energy source. Instilling fear is the outcome they’re trying to create, so our feeling fear encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and their power to create fear in others starts to melt. The fury of anger cannot ride on love.

Overcoming the domination of fear IS possible! Here’s a recent Success Story of one of my clients, LisaBeth Thomas:

 “With Virginia’s coaching my world totally changed.  She showed me how to let go of the fears and let in my success. Now I am getting new business and opportunities each month!  My energy and enthusiasm are through the roof, and there is no stopping me or the growth of my company!”


  LisaBeth (LB) Thomas, The Big Cheese.TV, LLC; Producer, Speaker, Leading Brand and Media Strategist; Founding Member & Past President of Texas Women in Business (TWIB); an Austin Business Journal’s Top 25 Woman of Influence

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world.

We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love. 

Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life Force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses. Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Maybe you’ve been wearing your fear like an irreversible tattoo when it’s only a rub-on that can be removed. Switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, and the fear washes off.

Fear is your interpretation of events, a misuse of your imagination, and you have the power to change your perspective.

Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles. 

It doesn’t mean you agree with what others do or a situation. It does mean you don’t give them the power to control you.

There’s a Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, “Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 

Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Observe your reaction when fear arises in you and recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time.

Instead of worrying and being afraid of what might happen, redirect your attention to the now. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security

Want to be free of the influence of fear
so you can live your ideal life?
It IS possible!!

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

http://www.soulgoals.com/contact-me/#form

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

June 18, 2018

me you

Here’s a simple formula:

If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it’s probably the other person who’s the culprit.

Your programming includes the belief that there’s something wrong or oddly divergent about you, so now you believe it. Then you attract others who accuse you of the same thing, which adds proof that your seeming inadequacy must be true. The only reason this keeps happening is because your beliefs attract experiences that mirror your thinking and feeling. Your core assumption that there’s something wrong with you is false and can leave you feeling your life is out of control.

If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about other people, the issue probably is yours.

Your programming includes not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life and then projecting your feelings on others. You really believe other people are to blame for the wrongs done to you. On top of that, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs or you can feel they just don’t get it.  If only they’d apologize, you’d be validated… but the relief doesn’t last for long because the underlying issue hasn’t been released.

Regardless if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same.

Here are excerpts from my September 2015 blog post:

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Ever feel that you want to crawl into bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when thoughts add interpretation to emotions… which lead to beliefs… which can create those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

Eckhart Tolle said “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry and envy are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these appear to be justified and usually another person is blamed for these feelings. The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in your life but in the very structure of the egoic mind.

How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?

Ask if what you believe is true. You’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.

If you’re reading this with some comprehension, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to the ego’s devices, this information does not compute.

Trekkie Talk

Data, an enlightened artificial intelligence life form, gets it as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:

Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.

Clone: I do not understand.

Data: I know.

And Data detached the clone from its power source.

When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding. It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as the person becomes a pawn to do the ego’s bidding. When YOU are in charge, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to make your dreams real.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)

I created a tool called Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes charge. Meanwhile, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.

You’re More Than Enough

Don’t fall for lies of limitation.

The ego is a tool and will echo what you think and say. So quit beating yourself up. Stop blaming others. Go beyond the separation between you and others. Let go of trying to control or allowing others to control the way you feel and act.

Instead, shift your focus to you are more than enough.  Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you. You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck, could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Are We There Yet? (Stop Waiting for Things to Get Better.)

May 14, 2018

past present future

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls. But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes by Eckhart Tolle that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.


“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”


Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

I Confess. I Didn’t Know How to Handle This… Until Now.

June 12, 2017

Arguing earthworms

An acclaimed author and speaker sat across the aisle from me during a shuttle bus ride to a conference.

She was recognized by the woman sitting behind her who started a conversation between the two of them.

Just as the ride ended, with a sweet smile and feigned good intentions that she probably believed were innocent and necessary to express, she trashed the famous person with subtle (not really subtle) advice/put downs.

As an observer, I watched the powerful woman’s face drop as she didn’t know what hit her. While disembarking from the bus, I quietly told her that she didn’t do what the accuser claimed, and the other woman was making stuff up.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­


After meditating about me and out of so-called concern, a woman decided to list extensively my shortcomings since the beginning of our friendship. She had a pattern of telling me these every couple of years for fifteen years. Adding insult to injury, her skewed perspective caused her opinions to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Her last sharing was her final one with me.


Can you recall interactions that left you wondering whaa – what just happened?

Or maybe you’ve claimed the title of tell-it-like-you-think-others-should-be-or-should-know-about-themselves.

I confess. In the past, handling crazy-makers like these often left me clumsily dumbfounded and reactive. Maybe a month or a year later, I’d think of a clever yet still unsatisfactory response.

Recently during a session with one of my teachers, the sky opened and fairy dust of understanding gently rained upon me.

I’m sharing my pixie enlightenment about some reasons why others use manipulative behaviors that blind-side and what to do about it.

Also, a heads up if this is your M.O. You may choose to stop it. As Dale Carnegie wrote, the pay off is that you’ll win friends, influence more people and feel authentically better about yourself.

THE WHY:

When people are afraid, they look to fight anybody. They will attack a strong person. (You might be perceived as strong by others, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself).

The underlying, usually unconscious thinking of pointing out faults of a strong person is this: I’m insecure. Let’s see if I can take you down to my level.

It’s someone else’s fault, and they’re going to point it out. “Others” are doing something wrong.

Those who use passive-aggressive behavior look for weak parts and take aim at those frailties. 

  1. It can create self-doubt in the other person and throw them off-balance.
  2. It can invert the strong person’s attention onto themselves and away from the aggressor’s shortcomings.

However, the problem actually rests within them. They don’t want to work on their own issues, so they blame others. Again, the focus is on others and their faults so the perpetrators don’t have to look at themselves.

It reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle said regarding people who complain about others, including other drivers.  Disapproval of others makes their ego feel “morally superior,” even to strangers driving in cars.

Passive-aggressiveness is a self-esteem boosting technique born out of feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. It’s one way to get attention and have people listen, which they might not have experienced in their past. 

In short, one way passive-aggressiveness works is to criticize how others are wrong in order to feel better about themselves, enhance superiority or get something they want. 

WHAT TO DO:

Don’t agree or argue with them. Tell them, “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree.”

They want you to defend yourself or argue. If you don’t, they look like an idiot.

Eventually, they’ll stop trying to attack because you offer no resistance. Their attempts to get you to provide fuel to fill up their tank of self-esteem isn’t working (instead of finding it within themselves).

Also, they can’t understand you if you talk with them logically when they’re seeing things emotionally. You’re both on different wavelengths. You can’t hear an FM station when you’re tuned into AM.

People blaming “the others,” be it personally, politically, in business or otherwise, is a scapegoat from looking at their own issues.

Does any of this fairy dust bring clarity to you, your business or work?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.