DON’T Try to Figure Things Out

There’s a BETTER way!

“I don’t know how to do it” and “I gotta figure it out” are seductions, siren songs of the egoic self, to lure you into keeping you small.

The egoic self is a false identity, which all of us have, that pretends to be us. We can recognize one aspect of it by the voice in our heads that never stops talking – often unsupportive, fearful and negative.

Its purpose? It wants you to stay limited under the guise of playing it safe.

However, the lack of money and happiness as well as business and personal fulfillment aren’t safe places to be at all!

The ego lies.

It seduces you into believing that you have to know HOW to do something. It insists you must have the big picture, all your ducks in a row and conditions must be just right before taking action.

Faulty assumptions are made. I don’t have the money. My life will be too disrupted. The children. My health. It’s not the right time. It’s not fill in the blank excuse.

I’ve observed this when people give me a list of why they can’t take action now toward their dreams. Really logical sounding reasons. Often they’re excuses in sheep’s clothing, aka listening to the egoic self’s whispers of fear and limitation.

Some, in trying to figure things out and looking for validation, ask others for their opinion. Then they’re dealing with others’ issues in addition to their own.

Hint: listen to the very first guidance that comes. It can be a gut feeling, an excitement, relief or a flash of insight. What comes after, with all the logical reasons or someone else planting doubt, can be ego-sourced. Well-meaning, seemingly safe, but actually neither.

If we continue to ignore our inner guidance, then life’s 2 x 4 can whack us to get our attention and change. Life crises in health, relationships, finances, accidents, job turnaround, death, divorce, emotional distress, natural disaster and more, for all their yuckiness, are catalysts for change.

However, having the courage to listen to our inner nudges is easier, even though we may try to talk ourselves into believing it isn’t.

By the way, the egoic self is very defensive because it believes its survival and identity depend on its perspective. Woe to anyone who might suggest otherwise… unless someone has had enough of unconsciously being unconscious and reaches out for freedom.

“Protecting and enhancing that false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force.”

Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks

The mindset of the egoic self is opposite of how the creative process works.

“If you ask the “how” question before the “what” question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.”

Robert Fritz, The Path of Least Resistance

Use your imagination. Focus on the results, where you choose to be, not on the process or where you are.

The way will makes itself known.

If you think that you have to figure something out first, you limit your options.

You have limited experience. To go where no man or woman has gone before, you have to tap into a creative power and allow yourself to be guided by it.

Be wary of the excuses logical reasons you give yourself that hold you back.

Another way of saying this is get out of your head, and don’t try to figure things out.

Instead, relax and open yourself to infinite possibilities. Then take action by following your inner guidance.

Edited Soulgoals’ Blog excerpt from March 20, 2017

Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Could you use help to discover new options and perspectives?

Learn how: virginia@soulgoals.com • http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

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Who’s to Blame? Is It Your Fault or Theirs?

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Here’s a Simple Formula:

If you’re used to thinking it’s all your fault and you screwed up (again), it may be the other person who’s the culprit:

Your programming could include the belief that there’s something wrong with or oddly divergent about you, and now you’re convinced that’s true. (By the way, that program was put there by someone else, probably in childhood.) Because of this belief, and like attracts like, you attract others who accuse you of the same thing. This adds false evidence that your seeming inadequacy must be correct, and your life can feel controlled by what others think about you.

If you’re used to blaming, pointing fingers and complaining about others, the issue may be yours:

This programming could include not taking responsibility for how you’re creating your life as well as projecting your feelings on others. You believe other people, the government or circumstances are to blame for the wrongs done to you, and your words reveal you feel victimized or persecuted (although you might never think of yourself this way).

You can generalize: everybody feels that way or everyone knows that. Furthermore, if you blame hard enough, you might get others to doubt themselves or feel shame… then you feel in control. You can be very annoyed if others don’t go along with your beliefs, or you could feel they just don’t get it. If only they’d see the light from your perspective or apologize, you’d feel validated. But the relief doesn’t last for long because your concealed programming is still running.

Regardless, if you unwittingly try to control others’ behaviors or allow others to control how you feel, the underlying trickster is the same. It isn’t about You but your egoic self, a false identity that you’ve spent your life thinking is you!

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

Ever feel that you want to crawl in bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when your story about them adds interpretation to emotions… which leads to beliefs… which circles back to those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

Eckhart Tolle said, “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry, blame and envy, are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these grievances appear justified, and usually someone or something else is blamed for these feelings. (Obviously, says the ego, it’s their fault.)

The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in You but in the very structure of your egoic mind.

An Alternative:

You have the ability to:

• Let go of allowing others and external circumstances control the way you feel and act.
• Let go of trying to control how others think and live their lives.
• Stop investing your emotional energy into who’s right and wrong.

Instead, make new choices. Shift your focus away from others’ and your so-called faults to seeing that you are more than enough. Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you.

When people can’t find perfection in themselves, they judge others.

So allow others to be who they are, learning lessons just like you. It doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries. But accept life for what it is.

You can have emotional mastery. Acceptance is your ticket to freedom. Resistance is futile.

You can do this. You’ll feel lighter, which makes it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

Edited Excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog, originally posted on June 18, 2018

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Copyright © 2023 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Ready to live YOUR life, let go of blaming and complaining and gain emotional mastery? 
Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

3 Quotes on Gratitude – Willie, Eckhart and Buddha

A simple message. No sticky notes needed. Be grateful…. even those things that you can’t imagine how there’s anything good about them. There’s always a silver lining, and you have the ability to find it.

Something shifts making the way for something better.. if not now, maybe later. There’s always something to learn. Observe. 

I’m grateful to you! Thanks for reading my blogs.

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“When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” 
Willie Nelson

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If you’re looking for an abundance of business, money, love, support or health, focusing on what’s working with gratitude will bring you more of what’s working.

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“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” 
Eckhart Tolle

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Gratitude Causes You to Feel Good

Especially during this time of giving thanks, take time to reflect on what you’re grateful for. The more you’re grateful, the more good feeling mojo you create. The more good feeling mojo you have, the more success you experience.

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“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” 
Buddha

In gratitude for yourself, is it time to be good to you? 

Contact me to learn how at: virginia@soulgoals.com • http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Who’s Controlling Your Life?

 Is it because you think you’re not good enough?

Ever feel that you want to crawl into bed with the covers pulled over your head? Feelings arise when thoughts add interpretation to emotions… which lead to beliefs… which can create those yucky feelings like frustration, disappointment and suffering. Hey, it’s not just you. We’re all wired like this, and we can change it!

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Eckhart Tolle said “the ego believes it is real and tries hard to maintain its supremacy.” He shares that negative states of mind, such as anger, resentment, fear, worry and envy are products of the ego. When it’s in control, these appear to be justified and usually another person is blamed for these feelings. The true cause of this skewed thinking is not found in your life but in the very structure of the egoic mind.

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How Can You Tell If You’ve Been Invaded Like The Walking Dead?

Ask if what you believe is true. You’re right, they’re wrong. You have an emotional charge. You can’t shake negative feelings and mind chatter. Your filter believes you see clearly, but your vision is clouded by a finger pointing at inductees into your Villains’ Hall of Fame.

If you’re reading this, in this moment, your ego has taken a hike. Left to its own devices, this information does not compute.

Trekkie Talk

Data, an enlightened artificial intelligence life form, gets it as he talks with a primitive clone of himself in Star Trek Nemesis:

Data: You have been programmed to gather information that can be used against this ship.

Clone: I do not understand.

Data: I know.

And Data detached the clone from its power source.

When the ego’s program is running, there’s little understanding. It’s like seeing through a glass darkly as the person becomes a pawn to do the ego’s bidding. When YOU are in charge, you’ve got the bandwidth, clarity and energy to make your dreams real.

Liberation of Lunacy (LoL)

You can experience a tool I created called Liberation of Lunacy (LoL) to free yourself of doubt, limit, fear and lack through your power of choice, perspective and putting your Essence in charge. We’re all a little bit crazy when the ego takes charge. To help you break free of your ego’s lunacy, here’s how to start freeing yourself when the siren sings you’ve really got a hold on me.

You’re More Than Enough

Don’t fall for lies of limitation. The ego is a tool and will echo what you think and say. So, quit beating yourself up. Instead, shift your focus to you are more than enough. Actually, you’re awesome! Look for what’s good in you. You can do this. You’ll feel lighter making it easier to take action on what’s important to you.

Ready to get more control of your life? Contact me to learn how at: virginia@soulgoals.com I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or could  use new tools or support.I help them connect with their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love. Original Soulgoals’ Post was on September 22, 2015

Copyright © 2022 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Quick Read: What Are You Waiting For?

He waited frightfully too long.

“Are you waiting to start living? If you develop such a mind pattern, no matter what you achieve or get, the present will never be good enough; the future will always seem better.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

Waiting can be a habit producing false hope leading to a dead end.

People spend a lot of their lives waiting for:

• friends, partners or their spouses to change or get their act together; waiting for themselves to get their own act together; waiting for someone in business to return their call for the deal of the century; waiting for a man or woman to wake up and realize he or she really did love them; waiting for the other shoe to fall; waiting to be happy; waiting for the doctor’s opinion or to feel better; waiting until their schedule allows, and then they’ll have more time; waiting until conditions are just right or to get someone’s approval before pursuing their dreams; waiting until they make more money and then they can really start to live their lives

… postponing their happiness, their lives, their precious time… for something they thought was coming and would alter their lives dramatically for the better… and usually didn’t.
 

But if today is simply a means to an end then there is no living in the now. 

What are you waiting for?

You have a choice!
 
How can you live more fully and have more fun NOW?

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Original Soulgoals Missive was written in 2002.

Are you ready to stop waiting and… do what?

Contact me to learn how at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Got Fear?

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 “Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.

Nothing will ever happen in the future; it will happen in the Now.”

Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

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Anxiety and worry reside in many like a low-grade fever that won’t go away. We work, live, and don’t notice it most of the time, but there’s a gnawing in back of the mind that something might happen. It’s a feeling of anticipation, like waiting for the other shoe to fall.

We find countless ways to mask it, such as using power, substances, addictions, sex, control, and anger.

Fear. It’s often fear of the future, the unknown, that somehow, something might happen, and we won’t be able to handle it.

We can never cope with the future. When our mental imaginings run rampant into what danger might be lurking, we incapacitate ourselves.

We can always cope in the now, in this present moment of time. Remember the adage we are only given what we can handle. We always have the ability to make it to the next stage of life.

Always.

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“So let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

 Franklin D Roosevelt

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What else can be done to diminish fear?

If you want yeast to multiply, feed it sugar. If you want fear to grow, feed it fear. If you want to reduce fear, surround what you fear with love.

The aim of terrorists is to create fear and terror. Feeling fear makes them stronger as it’s their food and encourages them to create more terror.

Unconditional love short-circuits them. They become like the Wicked Witch of the West and start to melt. Love cannot ride on the fury of anger.

Thoughts, feelings, and prayers are real and are felt around the world. We have the ability to impact life by living in this moment of time with the spirit of love.  Right now as you read this, you can offer love and goodwill to the Life force and let it be distributed wherever It chooses.

Now, you just made a difference.

That which we fear diminishes and eventually disappears as we wake up to this awareness.

Who do you trust, a Higher Power or fear? Hint: Who do you know is the biggest kid on the block, every block, everywhere, throughout eternity?

Consider wearing your fear like a rub-on tattoo. If you switch your attention to the now rather than worry about an unknown future, the fear washes off. Fill the now with love, and not only is there no room left for fear within you, but that which you fear dwindles.

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There’s a wonderful Zen story about a Japanese warrior waiting in prison after capture. The fear of interrogation, torture, and execution overwhelmed him, and he couldn’t sleep. Then he remembered the words of his spiritual master, “Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now.” He fell peacefully asleep. 

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Your challenge, if you choose to accept, is to live in the moment with love.

Each time fear rears its head, observe your reaction. Recognize that the fear has nothing to do with this moment in time, and redirect your attention to the now. Breathe. Replace the feelings of fear with gratitude, love, and goodwill to Life.

With a zest for Life,
Virginia        

Success Thought

“Focus on what you want. Dwelling on your fears will bring them upon you…

We need to enjoy what we have right now and live right now. Fearing loss is not living in the now. Fearing loss is living in the future.”

Andrew Matthews, Being Happy! A Handbook to Greater Confidence & Security

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Would you like to know how you can dump fear?

Contact me to learn more at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2001

You Are NOT Your Thoughts… and yes, you are good enough

You can open the window to your thoughts, and think outside YOUR box.

Soulgoal Missive, Year 1, No. 15, originally published in 2001

It was my first singing class. After performing my rendition of a song, my voice coach didn’t comment on my presentation but simply suggested that I approach it using different emotions. Although it was a reasonable request, a sinking feeling came over me and began to take me down with it.

I got through the evening but went home devastated as anguish overtook me far beyond what happened in the class. Three days later I still felt this sickening feeling within and knew that it was totally out of proportion from the event.

Then it hit me.

My (unconscious) interpretation of the comment triggered a belief that when I’m myself, I’m not good enough.

“Why can’t you be more like your cousins Kathy and Sharon?” was one of my mother’s mantras I grew up with — to be good enough I had to be like someone else.

My feelings turned from sadness to freedom as the light shined on this hidden side of me.

The casual remark served as an alarm clock to wake up an old pain after years of sleep. Unconsciously, it directed my actions and responses causing me to feel “I’m not good enough” although there was nothing in the present moment to validate it. After discovering the truth, my life changed.

I hadn’t seen one of my cousins for 18 years, even though she lives just a few hours from me. Yet two weeks after my discovery, I found myself visiting my aunt and her daughter.

Within minutes of our time together, I shared my story with her, and she replied, “Why would you ever want to be like us? The insinuation in our home was that you were special, and we wanted to be like you!”

How often do we create a false sense of reality accompanied by unnecessary limitations and anxiety?

There are so many reasons to experience fear these days, but how many of them are based on reality?

Fear arises from an obscure feeling that something will happen to us in the future that we won’t be able to handle. Then we attach a significance and interpretation that create pain.

The psychological condition of fear is divorced from any concrete and true immediate danger. It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia, and so on. This kind of psychological fear is always of something that might happen, not of something that is happening now.

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“You can always cope with the present moment, but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection – you cannot cope with the future.”

Eckhart Tolle,
Power of Now

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What’s the antidote? Get free from allowing your thoughts to rule and instead be the master of what you think and feel.

How do we reclaim our dominion? Focus on the Now instead of some imagined future.

Truly be present and live in this moment in time. This means not obsessing over what happened in the past and not projecting in the future some theorized threat. We learn from the past and plan for the future. We are best equipped to deal with life situations when we are fully present.

Life is what it is. “Resistance is futile” and creates more pain.

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We always have the ability to deal with whatever hand we are dealt, although as Mother Teresa said, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”  

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Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to disidentify with your thoughts, as if they are you and always the truth.  Instead, be the observer of them. Experiment with the following exercise entitled “You Are NOT Your Thoughts.”

1. Do you imagine that your future will be better or worse than it is now?
2. Observe yourself focusing your attention into the future. Now shift your attention back to reading in this moment. Notice your ability to shift consciously between the future and present.
3. The part of you that observes this shift is the real you. You can detach from your identification with your thinking at any moment by going into the observer state – the real you is doing the watching. You experience the real you only in the present moment.
4. Whenever fear, anxiety, or other such emotion arises, switch to being the watcher of your thoughts and feelings. Even if you still feel trapped by them or feel stuck, you are on your road to freedom, gaining greater self-mastery with every step.

Observation of your thoughts breaks identification with them. You take control of your life instead of being led by fear and limitation. It’s a powerful tool.

With a zest for Life,

Virginia

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Success Thought

“Getting there is half the fun; being there is all of it!”

Chauncey Gardner, in the movie Being There

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Ready for more freedom?

You are more than enough!

Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are We There Yet? Are You Waiting for Things to Be Better?

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls.

But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.

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“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”

Eckhart Tolle

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Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We only have today. Let us begin.”

Mother Teresa

If you’d like to 
live life more fully NOW,
contact me for a a compliementary session:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to enjoy life more,
share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Reposted from Soulgoals’ blog May 14, 2018

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Gratitude Creates Good Feeling Mojo…plus great quotes from Willie Nelson to Buddha

Whatever you focus on grows. So that you don’t blow to smithereens your good feeling mojo, let’s start where the land mines are buried.

If good feeling mojo was your lover, would the following inspire your sweetheart to run to you with gifts of money, love and health or get blasted back to an undesirable past?

• Fussing up because people are idiots, things are complicated and your career or business deals aren’t working… again.
• Wanting money but complaining that the system is rigged so it’s hard to get.
• Can’t figure out why God has broken His promise to you because of what’s happened.
• Feeling worried until you get the next doctor’s report.
• Thinking repeatedly about how someone has done you wrong.
• Looking for satisfaction while blaming, complaining or things being infuriating.

Money, love and health aren’t found on the pity pot vibe. (Oh, and I’ve unsuccessfully tried so hard to be saved from mine.)

Misery loves company. Regardless of what you say you want, if you’re sending silent messages of struggle, suffering and sadness, your energy would bring you more of the same… more of what you feel but don’t want.

If your business or life mirror a Looney Tunes episode, don’t look for the bogey man. Instead, start with good feeling mojo every day.

You can change how you feel by changing your perspective.

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“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” 
Oprah Winfrey

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Once, when my life had fallen apart, I couldn’t feel grateful about anything. I was separated, depressed, and in no mood to focus on business.

Gratitude. Interesting concept. The end.

However, I heard a story about someone who went through hard times, and being grateful was her magic key. She climbed out of the hole she was in, got a great job, new friends and turned her life completely around.

Hmmm, okay. I decided to give it a try with no clue of where to begin.

Suddenly, lost in thought about “woe is me” while walking through a greenbelt at dusk, I snapped out of my trance.

Stories from the news popped in my head about snipers on roof tops in a war torn country. They killed people who had to run across an open space to get water.

But I had zero concern about my physical safety. I had basic needs. Water. No bullets or bombs threatened me. Roof over my head. AC when it’s hot and heat when it’s cold. I was alive. There was so much to appreciate, however I didn’t see it because I was looking in the wrong direction.

I woke up to gratitude and the blessings of how people were there for me. Even though much wasn’t working, a lot was. So I redirected my focus to where I could find gratitude. I began to feel better. As I did, my life got better, too.

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 “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” 
Willie Nelson

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If you’re looking for an abundance of business, money, love, support or health, focusing on what’s working will bring you more of what’s working.

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“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” 
Eckhart Tolle

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TIP: Gratitude Creates Good Feeling Mojo

Especially  during this time of giving thanks, take time to reflect on what you’re grateful for. The more you’re grateful, the more good feeling mojo you create. The more good feeling mojo you have, the more success you experience.

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“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” 
Buddha

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By the way, if you or your friends would be grateful for support in creating good feeling mojo, contact me for a free Do What You Love Break Free Session.  virginia@soulgoals.com

Reposted and wording unchanged from Soulgoals’ Archives, November 23, 2015

The Roller Coaster of Feast or Famine. Stop WAITING for it to be Better!

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months.

Immediately after she started coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero.

This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

• She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
• Her thoughts made her feel bad.
• Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
• She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
• Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

• Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
• This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
• This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
• The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
• She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
• Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

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Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

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Are you a habitual wait-er? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Reprinted from March 25, 2019 Soulgoals’ Archive

Tired of waiting to live your dream
or enjoy your life?
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I help them be richly compensated
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