Archive for the ‘Risk’ Category

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Not Good Enough in La La Land

February 6, 2017

dream-bigger

Do you know the #1 issue for everyone on the planet?

It even showed up in the #1 nominated movie La La Land when a main character lost all confidence before going for the BIG dream – exhausted from trying, past rejections and feeling positive it wouldn’t work.

At some point, it’s had a starring role in your life, too.

It’s what prevents you from believing in yourself.

It’s hounded you to despair and disappointment creating doubt, anger, fear, lack, anxiety and every limitation.

No, you’re not the only one who thinks other people’s lives are better and, after objective and/or emotional comparison, you reached the conclusion there’s something’s wrong with you.

This is the #1 issue.

You feel you’re not good enough, and you have living proof because (fill in the blank of how you feel you and your life are messed up).

“Not good enough” is only a program in your head that was put there a while ago – when you were a little kid.

This is NOT you.

It’s just a program, and it can be changed!

What does it look like when your software program produces this error message?

Here are some ways people have tried to bolster their spirits to find peace, feel good and create success. You’ve probably used some of these well-worn strategies, too, only to find you’re basically in the same place you started.

Do any of these fixes sound familiar?

  • Trying to control situations or others and getting upset or anxious when it doesn’t work. Trying to control means you feel out of control. You can feel frustrated if things don’t go the way you think they should. After a while, you can give up and might go into depression because this fix has more holes in it than Swiss cheese.
  • Wanting others’ approval by people pleasing; looking for self-worth by rescuing others; holding yourself back because of what others might think; or stuffing your emotions and desires. Dream big? Forget it. Too risky.
  • Feeling insecure because you don’t have enough love, money, health, respect, direction, time, contacts, etc. Playing it safe seems like a good reason to hold yourself back, but you can end up unfulfilled where even you get bored with yourself.
  • Feeling bad about you, what you’ve accomplished, what you’re doing and your future prospects. Oh, what’s the use of trying. Bingo – you’re chasing your tail and going nowhere.
  • Playing the victim so others feel sorry for you even though you sincerely express you don’t want them to and you’re not a victim… but silently craving that someone will make all your problems go away.

What’s a key to break free?

Breaking free is an inside job. Nobody can save you but you. Begin by changing your perspective.

You’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Shift your focus to what you have instead of what you don’t have.

Instead of the agonizing feeling of wanting what you don’t have, recognize the feelings of love, safety and fulfillment you long for are already within you.

You can’t move a car forward and backwards at the same time without spinning in circles.

Likewise, you can’t have and want at the same time.

When you shift your focus to what you have, you’ll discover you are more than enough.

When your energy aligns with this feeling, you can write your ticket to success.

Shift happens!

Feeling you’re not enough is simply a habit.

To help you shift gears, write daily 10-15 things you’re grateful for.

Shifting takes practice, but you’re more than capable of changing your perspective.

Invest a few minutes daily to focus on how things are working out for you.  

Size doesn’t matter – got out of bed, conquered fear of calling a client, landed a promotion. Any acknowledgement will help you change your habit so you feel better about you as you rewrite the trash talk that goes on in your head.

Change your energy, change your life.

Bring on your dreams, and dream BIGGER!

TIP: Quotes To Inspire You To Live Your Dreams

November 17, 2015

In your teens, life is in front of you. You feel that you have all the time in the world with infinite possibilities. As you get older, time and potential carry a different meaning.

Recently at a party, I listened to several people’s life stories. In retrospect, they shared how they spent their years while inhabiting planet earth.  There were times devoted to their professions, characters met along the way, and relationships/sagas with family and friends.

Currently, all of them were following an inner impulse, even though they didn’t know how or where it would lead them. One didn’t relate to “retirement” and took action on a marketing idea. A mom decided to get out and socialize with new people. Another creatively discovered solutions to projects.

What about you? Whatever you’re experiencing now is both an all-encompassing, attention grabber for you as well as part of your book of life that you’re writing.

In this moment, you’re literally writing this chapter. Its foundation is built upon your vision as well as how you interpret what you’re seeing, the emotions you feel, and actions you take.

The great news is that you can complete this chapter and design the next any way you choose. There are key elements to have your results match your intention which include:

  • Believe in yourself
  • Surround yourself with supportive people
  • Get clear on what you choose – your dream and direction
  • Stop trying to figure everything out in your head first
  • Let go of limiting beliefs
  • Take a calculated risk on you and your dreams
  • Create a momentum of energy through action

Virginia’s TIP: Quotes To Inspire You To Live Your Dreams

It’s never too late to fulfill your cherished desires. Your journey and destination may look differently from what you thought. However, you have a dream in your heart for a reason. Following are quotes to help you live your dreams:

“If you ask the ‘how’ question before the ‘what’ question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.” Robert Fritz

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King Jr.

“Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” –e. e. Cummings

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” –Mark Twain

“You can’t outwit fate by trying to stand on the sidelines and place little side bets about the outcome of life. Either you wade in and risk everything to play the game, or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play, you can’t win.” –Judith McNaught

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” –Steve Jobs

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” –Oprah Winfrey

“Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk, and to act.” –Maxwell Maltz

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” –Michael Jordan

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” –Cadet maxim

“We are condemned to live out what we cannot imagine.” Thomas Moore in Care of the Soul

“Life is a ‘choose your own ending’ book- you can take whatever adventures you want.” Erika Towles, Age 12

How do you choose this chapter of your book to end? Go for it!