Posts Tagged ‘don’t know what to do’

Can’t Figure Out What to Do?

June 4, 2018

boy at crossroad

A 14-year old boy kept repeating to his mom that he didn’t know what to do. She astutely realized that he was too young to be obsessing like this. Taking full responsibility, she told him that this was her issue and not his.

In fact, her mother had the same default pattern, when problems arose, of feeling like she didn’t know what to do, and it was passed on intergenerationally – from mother to daughter to son.

Not knowing what to do was a learned response. They copied their parents’ response when challenged. It wasn’t that they couldn’t know what to do, but these automatic thoughts made them stuck.

I understood because my mother had the same pattern. When a confounding problem arose, she would resort to deer-in-headlights mode, being blinded temporarily. With some quandaries, it became permanent.

Having absorbed this pattern myself (until I was able to notice when it showed up), I would adopt the same mental responses: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do? I don’t know what to do. 

The result was feeling stuck, not knowing where to turn.


The ego, the false identity we all have, uses limited techniques. Nonetheless, we often buy into them hook, line and sinker. It will have us question our ability to believe in ourselves by popping in circular thoughts like “what am I going to do. I don’t know what to do, but I’ve got to figure it out.”

If we haven’t had a particular experience before, there’s no reason why we should know what to do. However, the ego will have us beat ourselves up, sometimes mercilessly, leading us to believe there’s something wrong with us because we can’t figure out what to do.


The ego is a computer that only knows what it’s been programmed to do. For example, if a computer hasn’t been programmed for the Swahili language, it’s impossible for it to communicate in Swahili. Nor would we expect that it should.

However, we can get very upset with ourselves for not knowing the answer to something with which we’ve had no experience.

There is a way out! Our inner essence, the wise part within, has access to unlimited intelligence. By asking our inner wisdom, we can find answers.

Once I had a stressful situation where I noticed that I silently was repeating in circles: I don’t know what to do. What am I going to do?

I recognized that there’s a part of me that absolutely had no clue to a solution. None.

Instead, I asked a part of me that knows. What can I do?

Off I left for an appointment. While walking back to my car after my meeting, an idea came to me. It was a simple solution that only required me to drive somewhere to address the situation in person. Problem solved.

Don’t bother getting upset with yourself when you feel stuck. That would be falling for the ego’s tricks. Skip feeling miserable.

Instead, ask the part of you that has wisdom and can access answers beyond your wildest imagination. 

Your answers are within.

 
P.S. Know someone who might
like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Feel Overwhelmed with the Clock Ticking?

March 26, 2018

clocks and woman

A mastermind team did an exercise called “Strategy for Success,” which included prioritizing personal and professional goals, identifying obstacles, followed by strategies to overcome each one. If there was a roadblock, what could they do about it?

Procrastination was a big obstacle. Many delays were due to questioning themselves. Are they capable? Are they good enough? Are they doing the right thing?

Avoidance happened when their goals involved new activity and knowledge that differed from how they’d done things in the past. They were growing their businesses in new ways, which meant doing things they’d never done before.

Venturing into an arena unknown to them brought on self-doubt, which immobilized them from moving forward.


One woman, who took on a new-to-her project, didn’t know how to complete it. She simply didn’t have the expertise to finish the job. With deadlines looming, she held herself back from doing a pile of other work, that she easily knows how to do, until she finished her worrisome project.

It turned out that a business associate had already offered, completely free of charge, to help her every step of the way. He also told her point blank that she was fully capable of doing this work on her own once she learned the steps.

All she really needed was help to walk through each step. Then she’d have it.

After she completed his initial instructions, she felt that she should know how to finish it on her own. However, because she had no prior experience with it, there’s no way she could know.

She was stuck because her self-esteem felt jeopardized.

She didn’t want to call him for help because that made her feel there was something wrong with her abilities and herself. That she wasn’t good enough.

So she remained frozen for way too long, which meant she wasn’t receiving income for a stack of work she could do.

By changing her perspective, she was able to see how asking for help had nothing to do with her self-worth, and she was willing to contact him again. 
 


When going outside the known and our comfort zone, when choosing to take ourselves to another level, it’s likely new tools and skills will be needed. This has nothing to do with not being good enough or a reason to be afraid of rejection!

Once we get over our “yes, buts,” “you don’t understand,”  “I was told this is the way it is (or I am),” “there’s nothing that can be done” and countless other reasons we try to legitimize why we do things the way we’ve always done, new solutions can appear.

The answers to get you through any challenge live within you. You’ll either get pointed in a direction, a direct insight will come, you’ll overhear something by chance… somehow your personal GPS will show you the way.

Pay attention to your inner nudges. They provide clues.

Be open to step back and see things in a new perspective. The seemingly impossible may actually be possible with a different approach.

Niels Bohr, who won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1922, wrote this:

“Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinking in order to find it.”

Bohr, who contributed to understanding atomic structure and quantum theory, tapped into his creativity to use outside the box thinking, which allowed him to be part of breakthrough discoveries.

Expand your territory. Change your perspective. Open to breakthroughs.

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Change Is in the Air. Are You Wondering if You’re the Problem? (No, there’s nothing wrong with you.)

March 12, 2018

moon star girl

Their lives were going well, but they felt dissatisfied. Although highly successful and in different professions, the sentiments shared during their individual sessions were the same. They felt unmotivated or they were being held back. Something needed to change, and they didn’t know what or how to move forward.

They thought there was something wrong with themselves. They wanted to “blow out the cobwebs” that left them feeling “blocked, not ready and needing help to get back in the game.”

There was nothing wrong with them.

There’s nothing wrong with you, either.

It’s transition time.

In short, everyone, that includes you, has gone through a lot of changes and learned from them.

You’ve grown from your experiences. Even though things may look like business as usual, they’re not. If you try to do what you’ve always done in the way you’ve always done it, you may find yourself uninspired, confused, stuck, botching deals, making conversational faux pas or wondering if you’re missing the boat.

It’s simply time to move forward in a new way. But how?

Let’s start with the way you think. Thoughts travel on a bandwidth.

If you feel sorry for or bad about yourself, for example, the thoughts that follow will be negative, full of why you can’t do things and how nothing will work. And you’ll prove yourself right. You can’t, and they won’t work.

If you shift your focus to you’re okay, and you’re open to what God or the universe will bring you, then you can receive fresh ideas and directions to create results exceeding your expectations.

This shift can be a tricky bugger because you’ve been receiving ideas for your next step for a while, but subtly. The pointers to your shift may be something you’ve dismissed or thoughts you brushed aside as an interesting possibility. However, these may hold the keys to your future!

Look for what interests you, what makes you curious.

For instance, one of my clients realized it was time to jumpstart her marketing, but she had zero motivation to do it in the way she had in the past. Additionally, although she’s active on Facebook, she’s never approached it as a serious marketing tool.

The more we talked, she realized she had not one but three ideas that had been coming to her about how to use Facebook for business. This piqued her interest and energy to take action.

She also saw that when the world splats her like a bug with what she doesn’t want, she has a choice. Either to let it deflate her or turn it around to clarify and shift her focus to what she does want.


Another woman, who was flatlining about how to approach lucrative and creative business contracts she’d already won, became quite enthusiastic when an idea came to her about a personal project she could pursue.

Here’s why finding something that interests you is important:

Generally, if we have several things working and one that isn’t, we tend to focus on the one that isn’t. This bandwidth pulls us DOWN so we block our creative flow.

By focusing on something that interests us, we open ourselves UP to new visions that can inspire us to take action. When this happens, ideas can come to us about everything, including how to break free from whatever holds us back.


What fleeting thoughts have you had recently about new directions? Maybe they seemed to come from left field, so you didn’t pay much attention to them. However, they could be clues for you.

What interests you?  What excites you? Explore that.

The world awaits your specialness that only YOU have! The discomfort of change is your Inner Essence nudging you forward to your greatness.

Take a step.

There’s always a way out.

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Black Friday Oscar the Grouch Special

November 27, 2015

Oscar peeping out of trash can (2)

Can you relate? You’re basically a happy person. But lately, a part of you has been turning into Oscar the Grouch because you need a change.

Put another way, what once felt like treasure, now for one reason or another, is starting to feel like you’d rather trash it. Things aren’t working the way the way you choose.

  • You can no longer deny you want more cha-ching action.
  • Your prized clients/job disappeared, turned weird… or never made it from your dreams to reality.
  • Your ideal business and life are somewhere over the rainbow, and you want your pot of gold now.
  • You feel like you’re stuck in Oz and don’t know the way out.

Ready or not, it’s time to move on. But where to and how?

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin

While writing my Thanksgiving gratitude list, the unexpected appeared:

  • People are struggling to understand what’s going on in their lives. 
  • They’re spinning in circles trying to figure things out on their own. 
  • They feel stuck or don’t know how to break free from where they are. 
  • They’re losing confidence and belief in themselves.
  • People could use more clarity and direction.

Offer a Black Friday Special.

I felt like I was receiving marching orders. The information kept coming.

They need help. Focus the sessions on solutions to their challenges.

How much? Use the power of 7s. For a 1 ¼ hour session, their investment is $77. I got out my calculator. That’s over a 60% savings!

As people are out-of-town for the holiday, appointments can be scheduled until Wednesday, December 2nd and completed this year.

After enjoying a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends, I forgot about what I’d written yesterday. I don’t believe I’ve ever done a Black Friday Special before. This morning, it occurred to me to read my notes.

 “I take action by following through with my inspiration and guidance.” Mastermind Principle #3

The message was clear. I’m taking action. I invite you to take action if this is for you. Virginia@TeamingWithSuccess.com

If you’re tired of wishing on stars and hoping for life to change, contact me to schedule your Black Friday Special.

Sessions are by phone. Credit card payments accepted.

If you feel this might be for you, I invite you to listen to your nudges. “Just getting to know me,” current and former clients, whatever your history, are included.

I look forward to supporting you in your choices to break free so you can share your gifts with the world in a bigger way. If you’re wondering if you have any, YOU are a gift.

Feel relief as you discover solutions. Take care of yourself. Be heard non-judgmentally. To schedule your Black Friday Special, email me at  Virginia@TeamingWithSuccess.com

There’s someone who’s supposed to get this message. I’m curious. Is it you?

One more thing. This is getting funny for me. I thought I was complete, and this popped in to add: please share this with those you feel might benefit.

This may be given as holiday gift certificates for you or others.