Archive for the ‘Business’ Category

Not Getting What You Want? Here’s Why.

August 21, 2019


Here’s what happened to two of my clients that cut them off from getting what they wanted… and how they turned it around.

1. Before we started coaching, a man was tens of thousands of dollars in the hole. Soon after, he turned his business around and in the last year has socked away many, many tens of thousands in savings.

However, he had a major meltdown about the “bitter reality” of not being able to get something he had been looking forward to having. Although the upset occurred in his personal life, his tremendous momentum in sales came to a halt.

Usually, at the beginning of his sessions, he listed so many deals that I couldn’t write them all down. This time, he said his business was anemic. Nothing going on at all!

By the end of his session, he did a 180 turnaround as he “put things in perspective.” 

He said, “I trust I can deal with this better and more appropriately. I’m in a better spot now. I’m more comfortable about moving forward.

“I now feel gratitude for what I have instead of disappointment for what I don’t have.”

Less than two hours later, he got a call about a new prospect. The following day he had a new client!


Energy attracts like energy. What’s felt in some part of one’s life spills over to the rest of it. When he felt frustrated and disappointed, he magnetized other situations, like lack of clients, so he could continue feeling frustrated and disappointed. When he felt more positively, he attracted success.

2. Starting last fall, a seasoned professional’s business plummeted, and she was living off credit cards.

Shortly after coaching with me this year, she successfully turned her business around as she attained her goal of $1 million in monthly sales.

Suddenly, it all came to a standstill. $700,000 of deals completely fell through with no prospects on the horizon.

What happened?

She was brought up to believe that you have to work hard to get what you want. However, she met a guy last fall, and they’ve been having fun, fun, fun!

Recently, she’s been having so much fun that her limiting belief that “work has to be hard” crept back again. Her financial flow stopped cold in its tracks.

She became aware of her faulty belief, and let it go. During this week’s session, she reported that she’s on track to achieve her goal of $1 million of transactions next month, the time it takes for her deals to process. 

In the meantime, she received a call asking her to consider a totally unexpected, significant income stream. This put needed cash in her pocket now and will continue to do so in the future.

A simple thought that life and work have to be hard impacts results. When her fun life became incongruent with that erroneous belief, something had to give. For her, it was to stop making money. That is, until she caught on and turned it around.

Not getting what you want? There’s an underlying reason for the disconnect.

Change your perspective to turn your life around. Imagine differently. Start by seeing through the eyes of gratitude and having more fun.


Life is supposed to be fun. No one is taking score of any kind, and if you will stop taking score so much, you will feel a whole lot better — and as you feel a whole lot better, more of the things that you want right now will flow to you… All is really well. Have fun. Have fun. Have fun!

Abraham-Hicks


If you’d like help clearing 
limiting beliefs so you

can have what you want,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved

You Just Need One Good Idea

June 18, 2019

Please enjoy this excerpt from my Soulgoal Missive, which was first published in June 2002.

“The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”    

George Bernard Shaw


Maybe it took months of house hunting, but it just takes one house to become your dream home, and the rest is history.

Perhaps you looked your entire life for your special someone, but it just takes one person to make the wait worthwhile.

You may desire to take your next step, wherever it is. But it just takes one good idea on which you follow up, and your future will never be the same.

When Tony Robbins’ advisors recommended that he go bankrupt because his partner left him holding the bag for megabucks, he got an idea. He started TV infomercials. Not only did this turn his debt around, it brought him more money and fame than ever before.

When my car broke down, instead of getting it fixed, I decided to use this as an opportunity to stay home and fulfill a desire of mine to write. A couple of months later I realized I needed to focus on generating more business, and the idea came to me to contact people personally about an upcoming event.

Following up on this one idea, which initially my mind had pooh-poohed as unnecessary because my contacts already received a mailing, created lots of energy for both a successful event and me to refocus my attention on business.

One idea that is followed up can make all the difference in your world.

Success Thought:

“Ideas can provide us with autonomy. Ideas can give us freedom. You’ll find you have other options, other places you can go.”
 
Earl Nightingale, Earl Nightingale’s Greatest Discovery



Would you like help in finding
and following up on your
one good idea?

It IS possible!!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.


Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

How a Woman Was Asked to Take $15-$20,000

August 27, 2018

Plus 10 quotes from James Allen’s As a Man Thinketh

Money

A client decided to launch a non-profit in her industry. Her first event had around 50 people in attendance.

Ten years later, she has several chapters around the state along with a base of corporate connections.

Last month during her coaching session, we discussed the idea of getting underwriters at $13,000 each annually and how she could put together a brochure to announce this. A professional she considered hiring for this purpose suggested writing a personal letter to each prospective underwriter instead.

She did neither.

However, she mentioned her idea to a corporate leader and then, implementing tools she’s learned during my new Conscious Creators’ Course, she found herself thinking about her underwriters’ program throughout the month.

Do you remember a time when you were lovestruck and thoughts and feelings about the other would linger in the background or completely occupy your attention? That’s how it was for her. Her thoughts would go in and out about the program she was developing, sharing it with others, the difference it would make… and so it went throughout the month.

The day before last Thursday’s coaching session, she and the corporate leader talked again. In fact, they’d been playing phone tag for two weeks before their follow up conversation about becoming an underwriter.

“We want to give you $15,000 to $20,000. Please give us a reason, a justification. You don’t have to send an email, just a text.”

A short text to him after our session containing seed ideas for the program brought an affirmative response along with an appointment scheduled on Monday for follow up.

She approached this on an energy level first before taking action. The result was that money was being thrust on her with no effort on her part. 

May you enjoy these quotes from James Allen’s classic book As a Man Thinketh to inspire you to attract results about what you love.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be.”

“As he thinks, so he is; as he continues to think, so he remains.” 

“A person is limited only by the thoughts that he chooses.”

“Let a man radically alter his thoughts, and he will be astonished at the rapid transformation it will effect in the material conditions of his life.

“Men do not attract that which they want, but that which they are.”

“All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

“Thoughts of doubt and fear never accomplished anything, and never can. They always lead to failure.”

“Suffering is always the effect of wrong thought in some direction. It is an indication that the individual is out of harmony with himself, with the Law of his being.”

Following are great quotes especially for those who’ve ever been chastised for day dreaming by others who didn’t realize how all great ideas and manifestations start with a dreamer. Everyone else follows in the shadow of someone’s dream or gets paid by people who had a vision and used their imagination to turn their dreams to reality.

“The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities.”

“The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as the realities which it shall one day see and know. Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the after-world, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish. He who cherishes a beautiful vision, a lofty ideal in his heart, will one day realize it. Columbus cherished a vision of another world, and he discovered it; Copernicus fostered the vision of a multiplicity of worlds and a wider universe, and he revealed it; Buddha beheld the vision of a spiritual world of stainless beauty and perfect peace, and he entered into it.”

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could
use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Virginia Goszewska. All rights reserved.

Is That Really What You Think About Yourself?

March 20, 2018

circle of words

 

Your thoughts about yourself create your future.

So what have you been telling yourself about you recently?

Stupid, smart, not good enough, grateful?

Is that really what you think about yourself?

If you want more money, which thinking do you believe works best?

  • I really need it, but I don’t think I’ll ever get paid what I’m worth.
  • (In spite of my circumstances) I feel that more money is coming to me.

If you want more of something, feel as if you already have it. You won’t get what you want (or you could be miserable or not hold onto it) if you’re waiting for it to appear before you believe it.

A client, whose goal includes increasing her sales and income, wasn’t talking like someone who already had the wealth she desired. She was working hard and fast, and her curt attitude had an adverse affect on her support team who, in turn, did small actions to annoy her.

During a Soulgoals Session, she realized that if she took a few more minutes to have smoothe interactions with them, instead of communicating by terse emails, she would receive more help and have less stress and irritation. Their attitude about her was disruptive and consumed unnecessary amounts of her time and energy.

She had been seeing herself as someone pushing to get to the top instead of being there.

You have to be an energetic match for what you want.

If you want better health, act as if you have it. You’ll send a message of health to your cells.

A woman, who had a stroke, has been making tremendous progress. She definitely has the potential of continuing to overcome its effects, too. She’s learned much about herself during her year of recovery and has her sights set on wellness.

She emailed me about a vacation tour she planned to take with disabled people, but she decided not to go because she’s choosing to attend another event instead.

I replied: Not going “may be a good thing so you don’t identify with being disabled and surrounding yourself with others who believe that about themselves. How you see yourself is a key to the direction you’ll find yourself in the future. See yourself able-bodied.”

Your thoughts about yourself are just mental concepts. Your thoughts and ideas are only pictures in your mind, and often times they were downloaded into your brain by others.

The tendency is to accept all of your perceptions as real because they’re in your head. However, they’re limiting because more possibilities exist than you can imagine.


Wallace D. Wattles says it this way in his book The Science of Getting Rich:
 

“To look upon the appearance of disease will produce the form of disease in your own mind, and ultimately in your body, unless you hold the thought of the truth, which is that there is no disease; it is only an appearance, and the reality is health.

 “To look upon the appearances of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind, unless you hold to the truth that there is no poverty; there is only abundance


What do you think about yourself? 

Do you say you want more money but think about yourself as poor, in lack or needy?

Do you say you want greater health but see your body as sick?

How you identify who you believe you are now is writing your script for who you’ll be in the future.

If you focus on your outer circumstances, you’ll repeat them in the future. Focus on what you choose instead.

You embody unlimited potential for whatever you choose or something better. You can think about yourself in this way.

Don’t be fooled by appearances, and certainly don’t beat yourself up because you feel you’re not good enough. Your current circumstances exist because of old ways that you thought about yourself.

You always have a choice about how you feel and think, even if things seem out of your control.

Imagine what life would be like if you see yourself as the hero of your dreams coming true!

With gratitude,

Virginia

P. S. Know someone who might be interested in this TIP?  Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Negative People Left… and Lots More Business Came

January 15, 2018

bunnies (2)

Four long-time friends got together and formed a business. Two of the partners had limited thinking, were negative and unsupportive.

Before becoming my client, he complained about them to his other partner whose positive approach was more in alignment with his. He tried to make changes happen with the other two by talking with them. But they had strong beliefs that justified why they felt the way they did, which they considered sound thinking, practical and business-savvy.

From their logical analysis, businesses like theirs are hard to get started. There’s too much competition; people don’t spend money this time of year; people don’t have money for these services; and on and on.

In spite of my client’s well-intentioned efforts, and with all of his frustration, criticism and trying to enlighten them, two of his partners didn’t change. And their new business wasn’t moving along very quickly either.

When he started to take my Resolved for Results Success and Mastermind Program, he realized that disapproving of and talking about what you don’t want only energizes it so you get more of what you don’t want. Crazy sounding and backwards from how we think life should be, I know, but that’s the way universal energy works: what you focus on is what you get.

In his decision to apply what he was learning, he shifted his attention away from two of his partners’ actions and attitudes.

In its place, he chose to talk and think about what he wanted. He focused on his positive partner and the business doing well, and he didn’t allow himself to be distracted by the negativity of the other two.

A few hours after the fifth session with his Resolved for Results team, his new habit of thinking and feeling paid off. The two partners, who had been challenging, decided to step aside. It was all done amicably and with no hard feelings at all.

Later that same day and for the next couple of days, TEN new people showed up for their business services!

It helps to be on a team with people who know how to use positive energy. Why? Because we’re used to our patterns and may not recognize which ones hold us back. 


The energy you emanate and surround yourself with is real and impacts your finances, relationships, health and happiness.

You receive more of where your attention goes. It doesn’t matter if you like something or not. Whatever you energize with your focus will produce more of the same.

Like rabbits that reproduce quickly and prolifically, whatever you complain, get angry or talk about will multiply. If you feel sorry for yourself either in your head or whine about with others, you’ll get more of the same.

The blame game isn’t your ticket out, either, including blaming yourself!

Understand cause and effect. When you talk about something, you get more of it.


You control your destiny. You have the power to change your habit of thinking and feeling to create the life of your dreams.

The negatives in your life won’t change because you don’t like them but because you don’t energize them with your attention.

Instead, focus on what you choose. Give yourself time. It takes practice.

Then allow the Source of all to arrange life on your behalf… without worrying or trying to figure things out.

Be open to the miracles that follow.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

This Is How the Universe Hears You & Why You Get (or Don’t Get) What You Want!

December 11, 2017

 

disapprove man

How would you feel if someone felt this way about you? The same thing happens to your energy when you feel this way about yourself.

 

A client told me how she was able to manifest small things during a coaching session last week. However, when it came to her business, she wasn’t closing people on her offers.

She had big programs and small ones. Lately, she just wasn’t successful in selling anything. Several times during her session, she was hard on herself because things went wrong.

“Why did I attract people who don’t have money? Even if they have the money and need what I do (and she does it well), they don’t get back with me. What am I doing wrong?”

Despite her positive sounding words, she communicated a non-verbal message that there’s something wrong with her.

People aren’t as attracted to people who don’t feel good about themselves, unless it mirrors how they feel about themselves or their opinion of you. It often brings up guilt, blame and shame.

When I pointed out how she consistently was judging herself, she told me, “I had critical parents and never got compliments from them. Now I feel that if I can’t do things perfectly, there’s something wrong with me.”

Have you ever felt like her or questioned yourself in a condemning way, too?

“I’m building that muscle of approving of myself, but my habit of doing the opposite has been stronger.”

As like attracts like, the only thing that happens when you’re negative is that you attract more negativity.

That puts you in an energetic conundrum because the more you feel good, the more success you attract. When you don’t feel good, your energy attracts more things that keep you from feeling good. This includes business, money, health, weight, people and your happiness.

Disapproving of yourself doesn’t feel good. Even if it momentarily motivates you to action, success won’t last because there’s negative energy at its foundation.

The universe and others “hear” your disapproval energy, and they give you back more of the same — more things to disapprove of.

The energy of disapproving of yourself, others and situations is why you get (or don’t get) what you want! The more you let go of disapproval energy, the more you’ll attract your cherished goals. What a sacrifice. To get what you really want, you have to feel good about yourself!

Right after our session, my client had two consultations to present her offers. She emailed me this after she talked with them:

I had two prospects back to back after I talked to you, and both took my BIG packages!!

Yay!

You’re a miracle worker, Virginia.

I’m grateful she gave me permission to share her story with you.

 

My last post was titled “What Do People Hear You Say When You’re Not Talking?” What they “hear” is the energy you transmit.

Dogs sense energy, such as fear. People sense energy, too. A reason why first impressions are quick is that it takes a fraction of a second for people to read your energy.

People hear you disapproving or approving of yourself even when you don’t speak or say all the right words.

Experiment with approving of yourself. And what a price you’ll pay for doing it. You’ll feel good!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

What Do People Hear You Say When You’re Not Talking?

December 4, 2017

 

Khan

This photo of Khizr Khan, as he came onto the stage with the light on the audience, exemplifies how he highlights and respects others.

 

His peace and centeredness said volumes before he spoke a word.

When he stepped onto the stage, the atmosphere in the recording studio noticeably shifted; the audience immediately felt on a threshold to witness a message that would move the spirit as well as the mind. This wasn’t going to be a routine interview by Evan Smith for his PBS TV show “Overheard.”

Originally from Pakistan, Khizr Khan’s stories depicted a heartfelt gratitude and love for the United States, from an immigrant’s perspective who felt privileged to receive law degrees, first in Punjab and then at Harvard.

It wasn’t just the moving depiction of his first encounters of the generosity of Americans that began to touch my heart.

Tears misted my eyes because he helped me see the world as he sees it, with profound appreciation and goodwill.

As a Gold Star father, his focus wasn’t on the loss of his son while defending his country in Iraq.

We heard about the character of and respect for United States Army Captain Humayun Khan from a story he shared through the eyes of a 10-year-old boy who his son mentored.

Through the eyes of Khizr Khan, I found a deeper gratitude for living in this country of freedom.

I was inspired anew by Ronald Reagan’s election eve address “A Vison for America” when he referred to being “committed to that vision of a shining ‘city on a hill.'”

In his non-political message, Mr. Khan’s very presence inspired us never to give up faith in the goodness of people, freedom and the ideals set forth by the founders of the U.S. Constitution.

How can your presence affect your success?

A client was getting ready for an important presentation. His team prepared charts and figures designed to make his offer so impressive that his prospect would have to say yes.

I told him that he would be hired because of his energy and who he is. While the charts are wonderful, they would be window dressing.

When his prospect couldn’t make their scheduled appointment and didn’t return follow up calls, he thought his window of opportunity closed.


As part of his mastermind team’s assignment, my client was reading the following ideas in Wallace D. Wattles’ classic The Science of Getting Rich. 

“Convey the impression of advancement with everything you do, so that all people shall receive the impression that you are an Advancing Man, and that you advance all who deal with you.”


Turns out that his prospect had been busy and did call back. At that time, my client was so filled with the attitude to “convey to their minds the impression of increase” that, without the charts and during that phone conversation, the man agreed for them to do business together.

His energy of conveying increase spoke louder than marketing tools, inspired his words and went beyond his talking.

You can be a success, whatever that means to you, beyond any of your perceived limitations.

You can be a success regardless of how much money or titles you have or don’t have, who you know or your lack of connections, your education, your past so-called “failures,” your personal shortcomings or the state of your health.

Within you currently exists a bounty of life-supporting energy to attract the success you choose, in any and every area of your life!

Focus on energy of well-being and increase to all instead of what’s not working.

When you do this, people who are open to well-being and increase will hear you beyond any words you speak.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Do You REALLY Want What You Think You Want?

November 27, 2017

 

mirage2f

Want water or a mirage?

 

 

A woman, at a presentation I gave, told me how she was dreading an upcoming holiday.

She and her husband would soon divorce, and he would be with another woman, not with her and the children.

I inquired about their past, holiday celebrations. Were they fun, heart-warming, family times?

Oh no. Those were never happy times. He was usually drunk, and since she became sober, the two of them were even more distant.

What she wanted so dearly wasn’t that man during the holiday but a loving, family gathering.

Yet, she mourned the idea of not spending the holiday together — a lovely idea that didn’t exist at the best of times.

After a brief discussion, she was able to let go of her faulty idea that she’d be missing a wonderful, family experience, one they never had.

When she put this in perspective, her suffering stopped.

Later while in my Resolved for Results program, she was able to see more clearly.

Instead of the misery she felt previously, she became happily divorced. She realized she didn’t want a broken family with a person who had neither the interest nor ability to be part of a loving family.

In its place, she designed her ideal, family situation… and manifested it!

Sometimes we get an image of what we think we want and try to superimpose it on a current situation; we try to make it work — even though what’s happening doesn’t match up with what we REALLY want.

Same is true in relationships and business– people fall in love with an idea instead of the actual person or livelihood.

How can you know what you really want?

In Resolved for Results, I make the distinction this way:

“The soul of your goal satisfies the true intention of your objective. You feel fulfilled and happy when you achieve a goal that has the essence of what you choose and frustrated or disappointed when you don’t.”

Mirages are illusions that look real but ultimately are unfulfilling. They only will frustrate and disappoint when you get closer to them and see them for what they are.

A definition of mirage is something that appears real or possible but in fact isn’t actually so.

Often people chase mirages because they convince themselves they’re the real deal. Mirages look like water. They need and want water. So it’s water.

It reminds me of a woman who laughingly commented on her marriage. Prince Charming became Prince Alarming.

People see what they want to see. Most are happy with their illusions until they get close enough to see that the water was just a mirage.


Here’s why this is good news:

  • You can more clearly discern what you really want when you see what you don’t want,
  • You can change emotional habits, such as feeling disappointed, depressed, angry, frustrated, worried, or being down on yourself or others about what’s not working. Habits and beliefs are just patterns of thoughts and feelings that can shift.
  • You can train your mind to focus on what you really want instead of being fixated on what you don’t want.
  • You can learn how to trust yourself and use your feelings as a GPS.
  • You can enhance your practice of gratitude. (A footnote to my last post on continuous gratitude. I’ve been practicing this for a while, although I slip in and out of this habit. When I focus on continuous gratitude, no matter what, things always work out!)

You have power in your clarity.

Even if you realize that what you thought you wanted is out of alignment with what you really want, you can now redirect your focus. Because of your new focus, you can manifest something better than you ever imagined!

By the way, if you reach the conclusion that you’re wrong, you screwed up and think beating yourself up will whip you back in shape, think again.

This thinking is a mirage.

Life is designed as a learning experience, which aids your growth. It’s not created with the purpose of disapproving of you. So don’t should on yourself.

It’s all good, including you!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Guilt, Know-It-Alls & Being #1

November 6, 2017

Wire

Are you in a self-imposed prison with freedom in view?

 

Feeling guilty had been drilled into her by her family throughout her life.

When my client was at the top, business associates and family triggered these guilty feelings by their passive-aggressive behaviors. She felt like she was doing something wrong.

Not feeling good about the price she paid for her success, her sales slipped.

People in her family had jobs. Furthermore, what’s a woman doing being successful, especially in her own business?! They had to work hard in their employment; why should she be any different?

She didn’t realize it was their own jealousy, insecurity, a need to control and their disappointment in themselves for not going after their dreams that were the underlying culprits of others’ manipulative behaviors.

Ever hear of the lobster syndrome or the crab mentality?

When either of these is alone in a lidless container, it can escape.

However, when sharing their enclosure, none can get out because they will be pulled back down, even into boiling water.

In society or business, this can happen when people are bettering themselves, and others try to bring them down.

How can they do that? Through guilt, fear, making others feel they’re doing something wrong, shunning, shaming and the threat of being ostracized if they don’t fit in with the community.

Some religions exert control by indoctrinating their followers with the fear of damnation or how their future lives will be affected.

Previously, my client couldn’t stay away from her cell phone out of fear of missing calls from prospective customers. Working hard is acceptable as a road to success.

So when she fulfilled her goal of a five-week vacation, and still remained #1, it was at the expense of others’ disparaging remarks.

Even though at the top of her game and years away from what most consider retirement age, she couldn’t stop thinking about leaving the business world behind.

She told me about a close friend and business associate. “There’s something about him lately that rubs me the wrong way – so I’ve distanced myself — although we’re working on a deal together. With him, it’s a debate or he knows some expertise about things. He’s done and knows everything.”

She was exhausted by critical people: if it’s not done their way, then in their way of looking at things, it’s being done wrong.

“Because I am surrounded by that thinking and attitude, my cup runneth over with this. My response is to disassociate with people who have these behaviors.”

When I asked where she’s seen those patterns before, she recalled that her mother and sister had the same habit of being critical know-it-alls. Both parents ruled by creating guilt in others.

We discussed that no matter where you go, there you are. If she continued to react, she’d attract more people who would act the same, wherever she went.

She realized that unless she changed, even if she left her business, she’d continue to run into similar, annoying behaviors from others.


Programmed from childhood, traits like lack of confidence, guilt and worry can prompt you to continue brainwashing yourself with limiting beliefs, even when those who put these ideas in your head aren’t around. 

Don’t listen to your inner, critical voice that bullies you and makes you question your ability to succeed or be happy. It lies.

That nagging voice reflects how the people who told you that nonsense feel about themselves. It’s not about you.

Your true essence guides you with a kind, non-judgmental and supportive voice.


Her insight: this session made her step back and look at the bigger picture.

She realized that she won’t be affected by others when she has a different perspective. And when her buttons are no longer pushed, she won’t attract people who think like that.

By the way, she’s back to being #1 and having her best year ever. Life is more fun, and she feels free now that she no longer reacts to guilt trips and know-it-alls in the way she did before.

You can step out of your self-imposed prison of any limiting beliefs, even if you don’t know what’s holding you back.

Start by having confidence that believing in yourself brings.

Remember, those voices to the contrary are figments of someone else’s imagination that they projected on you.

Freedom and success are yours if you’re open to receive them.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

 
I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.