Posts Tagged ‘fear’

All is NOT Lost! What to do if Things Don’t Work the Way You Thought.

September 24, 2019

What do you do when you’ve invested a lot of energy into results that don’t happen?

You were really counting on that contract to come through, but now it’s up-in-the-air. A friend said she’d help you move but bailed at the last minute. Your relationship falls apart.

Things just didn’t work out the way you thought they should or would.

A freelancer counted on her big client to provide a steady flow of income. She had a realistic expectation this would continue.

Suddenly, she was let go.

After the initial shock, she put it in perspective. She used a journaling exercise found on my blog and had a CEO meeting with God. https://soulgoals.wordpress.com/category/ceo-meeting-with-god/  (Scroll down to the post on October 2, 2009.)

She realized she now had time to focus on projects and business ideas she’d put off.

Things don’t always work as expected. But change always makes way for something better, regardless of how it appears in the moment.

Your income, love, support, health and results don’t come from only one source. God, the Divine, is your supply. God or the universe, whatever word is in alignment with your beliefs, is never lost and offers infinite possibilities. Therefore, if something doesn’t work, new ways are found.

Maybe the change is what it took for you to let go and allow new possibilities to occur.

Sometimes you have to let go to free yourself.

Remember the proverbial monkey who grasps something in a vase but can’t remove it? The neck of the vase is so narrow that he has to release his grip just to get his hand out.

You’ll get results: your expectation, goal or something better. However, you may need to change your perspective or approach.

You may need to let go of your emotional and mental grasp to allow something better to come in.

What you focus on grows. In the past, have you chosen anxiety? Instead, enjoy a childlike trust and curiosity. Look for how the universe is assisting you. Consider it a mystery, and you delight in discovering an answer.

Believe there’s a happy ending, and focus on it. Why not? You probably tried fear and worry (over and over again), and they don’t produce lasting and fulfilling outcomes.

By the way, about out freelancer. All was far from lost. New jobs appeared through happenstance, and her big client came back a few months later. Her job situation worked out when she let go and shifted her perspective.

 

This is a reprint from February 7, 2011, of one of my most popular posts.

 

If you’d like to discover
how you can change
your losses to gains,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

The BEST New Year’s Resolution

January 1, 2018

happy new year 2018

When I was a little girl, I asked my mother what should I be. I wanted her answer to be about my future profession, like a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker.

She always replied that she wanted me to be happy, which seemed at the time a lame response.

The older I get and the more I know about life, though, I realize what a wise answer it was.

Why being happy matters

As like attracts like, the more we’re happy, the more happy experiences we’ll attract.

Feeling good allows us not only to achieve our goals but continue to manifest more.

We can be rich, powerful, famous and living the dream, but if we’re not happy, well, life isn’t much fun. Living in stress, worry, fear, sadness or struggle can destroy our physical, financial, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Happiness doesn’t come because we have everything we want; we won’t enjoy them and may find that they slip away if we don’t feel good.

Stress, anxiety and worry are only habits that don’t serve you or anyone else. 

Feeling afraid because of lack of money, love or health won’t change when you have everything money can and can’t buy. If these ways of thinking are habitual, you’d find something to get you bent out of shape.

Ever notice people (maybe you) who always have a reason to complain or feel bad? Even when things are great, they find something that’s not good enough.

Be happy. Find a silver lining no matter what.

You might be thinking that I don’t understand. You’ve got a lot of problems. You’ve been done wrong. You’ve experienced loss, and you’re afraid the proverbial other shoe might fall. You’ve been living in pain. You’ve had the worse things happen to you.

I really do get it because when everything in my life was falling apart, I knew I’d lose it all if I stepped onto the slippery slope of fear. My negativity would have made things go from bad to worse.

So I made a decision to feel good. To feel good in spite of it all.

Step at a time, sometimes baby steps, my life got better and better and better.

 


 

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to resolve to feel good. With this decision all things or something better are possible.

It really is a choice.

You have complete control over your perspective, regardless of the situation. Your interpretation of events, your life, your success or manifesting your dreams is your key to the door of happiness, misery or getting what you most want.

Your energy will draw to you more of how you feel.

How in the world can you feel good in spite of the odds? Be grateful.


 

A client gifted me a handmade journal with an embroidered peacock on the cover that she bought in one of my favorite museums. It’s so beautiful that I decided I only wanted beautiful words in it. Another client on her team suggested a journaling exercise that makes her feel good.

Write what’s working in your life.

Soon after, on a day when everything was uncharacteristically out-of-synch, I couldn’t leave town to go to a party for me!  Instead of having a hissy fit, I grabbed my new journal and wrote on the entire first page the many things that are going well.

Focusing on gratitude shifted my energy, allowed me to let go of the stress and be in present time. Of course, the change in plans turned out to be way better.

HAPPY New Year to you.

Hint: the clue is in the greeting. The first word is HAPPY.

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to feel good and be happy.

You can use feeling good as your inner GPS to know if you’re on the right track or not. It may be that the only thing needed for you to be happy is an attitude adjustment. Also, how you feel can be an indicator that you’re on the right path or heading in a direction that no longer serves you or maybe never did.

If you decide a change is needed, feel good about where you are, even if you don’t like it. Then line up your energy by feeling good about your new direction and take actions for something better.

Happy New Year! It’s your choice to parrot the words or make them come true for you!

May you enjoy your happiest year ever!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

FEEL STUCK? 4 TIPS TO GET OUT OF YOUR RUT – PART 2

July 6, 2010

Sometimes we can’t make peace with ourselves, no matter what. We hold on tight to our fear and anxiety as long as we can, in spite of our best intentions. However, cliff hanging makes us prime candidates for an eleventh hour save.

That’s exactly what happened to me. For weeks I simply couldn’t create a workbook for an afternoon workshop. Finally, I gave up trying. I’d go without.

Only after thoroughly letting go, literally at the eleventh hour the night before, I started to write. A 19 page book flowed out of me. I wrote all night and, with no sleep, still felt energized to give and enjoy the workshop, too. But what I put myself through beforehand!

TIP #2: Choose to let go. If you hold onto your fear and anxiety, you’ll block your flow.

If you have whatever it takes to move forward at the eleventh hour, you probably have it before then, too. You can choose to let go of the pressure earlier, and save yourself from useless agony and guilt. If you choose, you can get out of the habit of eleventh hour saves.