Archive for the ‘Focus’ Category

Are Crazy People Taking Over Your Life?

September 18, 2017

 

 

Homer's scream

One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice with gesticulating hands, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.

It was just him battling with himself.

Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.

Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.

In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:

  • abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, misunderstood, humiliated, put down or the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent.

Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:

  • close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.

The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:

  • hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.

“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”  Einstein


It’s a big question to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past and present, or less-than-favorable circumstances get to you, and consequently, impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve.

Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?

Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge watch reruns of movies about our sad stories over and over again.

Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.

Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attract success.

Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.

As Kenny Rogers sang in “The Gambler:”

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em

Know when to fold ’em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic.

I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.


It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.   


Here’s an interesting twist.

Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.

Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.

When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.

When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:

You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.

When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.

Of course, do what’s wise to take care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.

Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.

Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?

It’s your choice.

With gratitude,

Virginia

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.  

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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My Personal Experience During a Flood plus a Labor Day of Love with Hurricane Harvey 

September 4, 2017

Hurricane Harvery dog rescue (2)

A little over two years ago, a friend and I enjoyed dinner in a nearby town and casually talked after in the parking lot.

The weather had been unusually beautiful for weeks, and living in a safe community, I even left the back door open to my screened back porch when I was gone.

On my way home that night, the unexpected happened. I turned the corner onto Ranch Road 12 in San Marcos, Texas, and in an instant started driving through forty minutes of treacherous, torrential rain, the likes I had never seen.

I knew if I stopped, the low-water crossings would be flooded, and I might not be able to get back home.

Focus. Focus. Breathe. Relax. Pull over when driving got ridiculously so bad that I couldn’t see a thing. But I couldn’t pause for long; another car might hit me if blinded by rain while on that hilly, winding, country road.

I tapped into the energy of my client John, who likes storm chasing, so I would stop white knuckling the steering wheel.

Arriving home safely, I later learned that neighbors pitched in during the middle of the storm to create a protective barricade. A deluge of water surged from across the street attempting to enter a home two houses away from mine.

The next morning, I awoke with my chest wheezing heavily, gasping for air and sounding like a zombie when I spoke. At first, I thought it was bronchitis.

Even so, I assumed the worse was over. After all, no water had entered my house.

However a few days later, I wondered why my furniture suddenly had a wide swath of green that looked like someone had painted a nearly foot-wide stripe – – and then I found the same streaks across my kitchen cabinets and bathroom. I soon discovered that it got inside my drywall, furniture, kitchen cupboard and on most of the items in my living room, too.

The ferocious, pounding rain and wind hit the ground with such force that it dislodged mold and sent it flying through my open, back door and into my home. When the heat rose to a certain temperature, the mold bloomed.

It took me many months to remove mold from my drywall and home as well as recover from the mental stupor, lack of energy and ill health that mold creates. Add to that the financial impact of not having been able to work beyond taking care of my clients.

It definitely was one of the most challenging times of my entire life. But I got off way easy!!

Twenty miles away on the Blanco River of that Memorial Day weekend, a log jam was created from felled trees and branches… until they let loose. Within three hours, the river rose 33′, cresting at 40′.

People, including a family, were washed away.

Riverside homes, even those out of the flood zone, were ripped apart from their foundations when the force and volume of rising water overwhelmed them. When the flood carried those houses away, and they bobbed down the river, their roofs were knocked off by trees. With nothing to hold the structures together, the houses just fell apart and became rubble.

Overflowing great distances beyond its banks, the rushing water damaged bridges, countless homes and businesses. The landscape changed as huge trees that previously had lined streets no longer existed. FEMA took residence in my small community for months.

  • I was so incapacitated from the mold that I didn’t have the energy to drive a quarter mile out of the way, during my trip to town, to look at where some of the worst disaster hit, let alone help others. The effects of the mold sometimes made it challenging to speak or have the mental clarity to respond during conversations or get out of bed to eat. For a while, with the mold inhabiting my body and mind, I was zoned out as if I was on an opiate drug and couldn’t think or care about anything. It was a rude and frightening awakening when I was able to swim out of my daze. I felt like I’d been under water and had to push myself to the surface and to breathe air again, only to witness the catastrophe that was happening around me in my home, health, personal and financial life.

Years ago, I heard that natural disasters are life’s way of creating a personal growth program. There are gains to be made amidst the crisis.

As bad as it was at the time for me, it was a blessing in disguise.


I can attest that, out of necessity, my harrowing experience forced me to let go of both beliefs that I considered sacrosanct as well as people who I discovered were out for themselves, not for me.

When I did release them, my life became better than ever because some of what I thought were “good and positive” ways of showing up in the world were the very things that had held me back.

When drowning, a survival instinct kicks in. I had to take care of myself or go under. I had no energy to babysit others’ issues or their unconscious, self-serving ways.

Part of my Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #6 states, “I choose to use my personal empowerment on my behalf, which allows me to serve life more fully.” 

Instead of taking years to understand lessons like this more deeply, I condensed my learning curve into months… including the necessity of letting go of worry and fear.

As life reflects back the energy of our thoughts and feelings, why did I create this? I had been deeply concerned about a business challenge, so I created something else to worry about instead.

And, yes, because I had no energy to hold onto the original issue, the solution manifested during my months-long experience.

“Soulutions” came when I let go of the worry and fear that bound me, making room to be open to answers for which I’d been asking.

Another lesson, ask for breakthroughs with grace and ease.


 

My community recovered as it pulled together in new ways, too. Strong. Compassionate. Having received help from others.

Now during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, while remembering that help, individuals, businesses and the local police are returning the goodwill of love to help those in need who are a few hours down the road.

Everyone who’s experienced Harvey will have their own story to tell, what they (had to) let go of, what they learned.

Labor Day is a celebration dedicated to the strength and prosperity of American workers.

On this national holiday of Labor Day, in my part of the world, are demonstrations of labors of love.

How will you celebrate your labors?

With gratitude, Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved

Your Money: Feast or Famine

July 10, 2017

A few months of very sparse sales motivated a former client to once again join one of my mastermind teams to jumpstart his business.

In the last two months, his commission-based income increased dramatically. During a 1:1 session, he outlined every deal he’s closing this summer, totaling over $60,000.

He made a budget before we talked. “The money I’m making will carry me to the end of the year. With it I’ll pay my bills and taxes, buy a new vehicle that I need for my job, set money aside for savings and an emergency fund and get me out of worry.”

Choosing to be fiscally responsible, he felt he could only plan for what he knows for sure that he’ll have.

There were a couple of big telltale signs that he was setting himself up to go from feast to famine. 

First, he reminded me of a bear getting ready for hibernation. The way he talked, it was as if his business would go into a long sleep following the roll he’s now on.

What you see is what you get.

With his vision only focused on generating sales from his current pipeline, his business would only generate sales from his current pipeline. There was no mention of any future business.

Because of his past business scarcity, he was trying to protect himself from another financial shortage. In the process, though, he energetically designed plans for impending famine.

Second, an essential key to manifesting is feeling good first, not waiting until outer circumstances change before you feel good! Like attracts like. Worry does not attract experiences that leave you feeling good.

When we look around at circumstances that suck, it feels natural to complain, whine, get frustrated and angry. But that approach does NOT get us what we want.

I know because I’ve invested much of my life into this strategy. I’ve watched others try to improve their lives by talking about how bad things are.

Things only got worse.

This really is just a habit that digs a deeper hole of misery. It does not create success or financial flow.

Whatever you focus on grows. You’ll feel better focusing on what you choose, not on what you don’t like. (Unless you do that silly “yes BUT” routine of moaning because you’re not there yet… that’s not focusing on what you choose.)

He asked, “How can I know if more money will come if I can’t see it?”

Consider this. Life has a natural flow, and there’s an assumption it will continue without worrying about it.

You trust the sun rises and sets, even if you can’t see it because there are clouds in the sky.

We know, as Jim Morrison said, “No one here gets out alive.” Eventually your heart will stop beating.

Until that time comes, your heart continues to beat. There are steps to take for heart health. Do those. However, there’s no sense living your entire life as if your heart will stop in a few months.

Air is essential to breathe. If there are air issues, address those. However, there’s no sense living your entire life as if you won’t have air to breathe in a few months.

Life has its own flow.

Money has a flow, too.

My client got it. He said, “the beauty is its simplicity. In the past, my thinking about worry created limit.”

He saw how he could trust that the flow will continue in his finances just as the flow in nature continues… unless he stops it by worry.

“It’s insane to be whining, fretting and complaining. Instead, let abundance expand instead of raining on it with negativity.”

He decided “it makes more sense to have clarity, focus and appreciation.”

Allow yourself to trust that you can tap into a money flow. Focus on this flow, not that your money will get divided into little pieces leaving you with nothing.

You are powerful!! Making a choice to be in financial flow, without diluting your energy through worry and negative emotions, can make it so.

If you’re experiencing financial famine, change your focus by looking for natural flows of life.

Connect the dots. If the whole universe runs on flows, you can tap into the flow of financial abundance.

Focus on what you choose.

In the words of Star Trek’s Mr. Spock, “Live long and prosper!”

 

God Knows and God Shows

June 19, 2017

 

A woman, accompanied by a supermarket employee, apologized when she bumped into me. As she frantically swooshed by me again moments later, she turned her head to tell me that she was looking for her keys. I responded: “Say ‘God knows, and God shows.'” She saw her keys within seconds next to a weight scale!


A relative misplaced a big check with several zeroes on it for a couple of weeks. When she called me about it, I told her to repeat God knows, and God shows. Within two hours, I received a message that she found it in a dresser drawer.


“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Albert Einstein


Why saying God knows, and God shows works.

 

  1. Using a practical application of Einstein’s quote, if your thinking is on loss or what you can’t find, then it’s not on the wavelength of finding. It’s like being on an AM station and looking for FM. You can’t find it because looking and finding are different frequencies.
  2. God knows, and God shows is a tool to let go and surrender. It allows you to let go of focusing on lack (what you don’t have or can’t find), and open to receive a higher energy to “solve our problems.” Think of it as surrendering a caterpillar’s perspective so you can enjoy a butterfly’s view.
  3. You release the need to find something, which often has energies like anxiety attached to it. As like attracts like, neediness attracts more reasons to feel anxious or frustrated. Even though it seems that it shouldn’t be this way, you’ll get more of whatever you’re feeling, not what you say you want. God knows, and God shows allows a greater power to refocus you and override limiting beliefs, such as “I don’t know where it is.” “I can’t find it.”

Don’t take my word for it. Experiment. Use these words while being open to the possibility of getting results, instead of being closed with a stubborn defiance of “prove it.”

By the way, you can use language like “the universe knows, and the universe shows,” if this feels more comfortable for you.

Let’s expand the application to business and life.

Looking for new business, your ideal job or to make more money? Don’t know where to find it? God knows, and God shows. You are now on the wavelength to attract new clients, greater wealth and more opportunities.

Feel stuck about anything? Instead of wallowing in disappointment, you’ll get on track faster in any area of your life by proclaiming, “God knows, and God shows.”

Follow the trail to your rainbow, one step at a time.

Happy manifesting.

With gratitude,

Virginia P.S.

Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

 

I Confess. I Didn’t Know How to Handle This… Until Now.

June 12, 2017

Arguing earthworms

An acclaimed author and speaker sat across the aisle from me during a shuttle bus ride to a conference.

She was recognized by the woman sitting behind her who started a conversation between the two of them.

Just as the ride ended, with a sweet smile and feigned good intentions that she probably believed were innocent and necessary to express, she trashed the famous person with subtle (not really subtle) advice/put downs.

As an observer, I watched the powerful woman’s face drop as she didn’t know what hit her. While disembarking from the bus, I quietly told her that she didn’t do what the accuser claimed, and the other woman was making stuff up.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­


After meditating about me and out of so-called concern, a woman decided to list extensively my shortcomings since the beginning of our friendship. She had a pattern of telling me these every couple of years for fifteen years. Adding insult to injury, her skewed perspective caused her opinions to have more holes than Swiss cheese. Her last sharing was her final one with me.


Can you recall interactions that left you wondering whaa – what just happened?

Or maybe you’ve claimed the title of tell-it-like-you-think-others-should-be-or-should-know-about-themselves.

I confess. In the past, handling crazy-makers like these often left me clumsily dumbfounded and reactive. Maybe a month or a year later, I’d think of a clever yet still unsatisfactory response.

Recently during a session with one of my teachers, the sky opened and fairy dust of understanding gently rained upon me.

I’m sharing my pixie enlightenment about some reasons why others use manipulative behaviors that blind-side and what to do about it.

Also, a heads up if this is your M.O. You may choose to stop it. As Dale Carnegie wrote, the pay off is that you’ll win friends, influence more people and feel authentically better about yourself.

THE WHY:

When people are afraid, they look to fight anybody. They will attack a strong person. (You might be perceived as strong by others, even if you don’t feel that way about yourself).

The underlying, usually unconscious thinking of pointing out faults of a strong person is this: I’m insecure. Let’s see if I can take you down to my level.

It’s someone else’s fault, and they’re going to point it out. “Others” are doing something wrong.

Those who use passive-aggressive behavior look for weak parts and take aim at those frailties. 

  1. It can create self-doubt in the other person and throw them off-balance.
  2. It can invert the strong person’s attention onto themselves and away from the aggressor’s shortcomings.

However, the problem actually rests within them. They don’t want to work on their own issues, so they blame others. Again, the focus is on others and their faults so the perpetrators don’t have to look at themselves.

It reminds me of what Eckhart Tolle said regarding people who complain about others, including other drivers.  Disapproval of others makes their ego feel “morally superior,” even to strangers driving in cars.

Passive-aggressiveness is a self-esteem boosting technique born out of feelings of inadequacy or helplessness. It’s one way to get attention and have people listen, which they might not have experienced in their past. 

In short, one way passive-aggressiveness works is to criticize how others are wrong in order to feel better about themselves, enhance superiority or get something they want. 

WHAT TO DO:

Don’t agree or argue with them. Tell them, “I appreciate what you’re saying, but I don’t agree.”

They want you to defend yourself or argue. If you don’t, they look like an idiot.

Eventually, they’ll stop trying to attack because you offer no resistance. Their attempts to get you to provide fuel to fill up their tank of self-esteem isn’t working (instead of finding it within themselves).

Also, they can’t understand you if you talk with them logically when they’re seeing things emotionally. You’re both on different wavelengths. You can’t hear an FM station when you’re tuned into AM.

People blaming “the others,” be it personally, politically, in business or otherwise, is a scapegoat from looking at their own issues.

Does any of this fairy dust bring clarity to you, your business or work?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might like this? Please forward.

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how or feel stuck.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.