Archive for the ‘Be in Present Time’ Category

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

My Tip to Get Over Overwhelm

July 9, 2019
Wimberley Flood 2015

Feeling stressed and overwhelmed are times when it helps to be the most centered emotionally and mentally, but it’s often when we feel the worse. 

For those who may not be familiar with my story, first, here’s background on why I was on the brink of not knowing how to handle everything. Then, onto my confirmation that this super simple tip works.

The background


One of the most challenging years in my life (and to reach that height is saying something) began Memorial Day weekend four years ago. 

Unprecedented flooding occurred when the Blanco River rose to a record 40.21 feet before it knocked out the flood gauge. It took 2 1/2 hours for the water to rise 31 feet as it washed away homes and people to their demise.

Although my house wasn’t part of that disaster, little did I realize this was the beginning of my personal nightmare for six months followed by another six months of new challenges.

I had dinner with a friend in a neighboring town, and left my back door open to the screened porch, when weeks of sunny skies suddenly turned to a violent storm. The rain hit the ground with such ferocity that it jettisoned mold spores into my home.

Long story short, I suffered from mold throughout my house: in my furniture, dry wall, cupboards and me. Inhaling mold not only had me breathing like a zombie but created an opiate effect on my brain so I couldn’t think straight, laid in bed like I was drugged, and sometimes I couldn’t put a sentence together to talk to people.

When I woke up out of this stupor and realized what a fix I was in, I panicked.

Miraculously, instead of years, I managed to get somewhat back on track in six months. 

I had about a month of normalcy and then the next crisis came. My cat became very ill.

I suppose most people would have put her to sleep after being told by multiple vets there was nothing to be done when her thyroid levels were over four times what they should be and her weight dropped from 15# to 7# in three weeks.

But she made it clear to me that she wasn’t ready to leave yet.

That came with a price.

For six months, I was awakened by her every night, cleaning up because of her illness, so I could only get three hours of sleep at a time. I can assure you that sleep deprivation over so many months takes its toll. Finally, she let me know it was time to go.

At that point I was exhausted, and my life felt like it was in near shambles.

A trusted coach, who I thought understood my situation and had my back, thought I liked the drama, which she mentioned during a guided meditation for me. Ouch! Maybe she thought because it was just a cat and not a parent that I should’ve put her to sleep against her will.

That was the best and worst of times. The best because years of lessons were condensed in months, not a lifetime. 

Talk about overwhelm! My life was assaulted on every level: my physical and brain health, financially, emotionally, unsupported by so-called trusted confidants, my home in disarray, unknown business direction and on and on.

So many things to deal with. I wanted to get my life back and have everything in order yesterday. Every effort seemed so miniscule compared to the task at hand.

How could I ever turn it around?

Just take a step at a time.


Focusing on this simple tip got me out of that deep hole, step at a time.

As simplistic as it sounds, focusing on one project at a time both relieves pressure and fosters progress, as reported by my clients’ experiences, too. 

It still works for me.

For example, in the beginning of this year I focused on educating myself with 45 hours of a variety of free, online health docuseries. The result is that I went on a keto diet, my weight is 25# less than it was a few months ago, the arthritis in my lower back is completely gone and I feel the best I’ve felt in decades.

I focused. I was patient with my progress and myself.

Instead of pacing ourselves, we often want to do everything at once, but life usually doesn’t work like that in the long run. Or we end up doing little or nothing except complain about how much we have to do.


During stressful times, it’s easy to feel like a failure. The step at a time approach redirects attention to what’s working and how you’re moving forward and doing well.

If you’re like most people, you’ve got a stockpile of things that need to be done. Maybe you feel discouraged and that you’ll never get ahead.

You can.

Hold the VISION of seeing your ideal life that’s on the other side of your To Do lists or crises, and STEP AT A TIME you’ll arrive at your destination or someplace better.


Could you use support in
what steps to take?
Contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.


Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Are You Wasting Your Time?

May 14, 2019

clock spiral

I invite you to enjoy my Soulgoal Missive, first published on April 29, 2004.

“Life is a controllable thing.”
Neville,
Awakened Imagination

“I have no control over my life,” protested a workshop participant angrily. The implication that we have or can have control of our lives seemed preposterous and brought fierce resistance.

“My life is governed by this,” she indignantly proclaimed while holding the Metro bus schedule. “I have to be on time for the bus if I want to go anywhere, but I can’t control if the bus is late, early, or will show up at all.” The bus schedule is how she relates to much of life as she relies on public transportation.

Another participant chimed in firmly and gently. “To get control of your life, of your heart, and what you really want to do, you have to let go of the bus schedule. You are greater than the bus schedule. This is a metaphor for your life; it is ruled by time and when and if you can catch a bus rather than by what you really want.”

When asked at the beginning of the workshop about her heart’s desire she replied: “I don’t care. Why bother? What I want doesn’t matter, because I’m not going to get it anyway.”

One of the interactive workshop games disappointed her. As we had a half an hour left, she felt pressured and therefore unable to do the exercise. She felt we were running out of time.

Her life revolved largely about time… and her lack of self-worth.

She was so caught up in her whirlwind of fear regarding time that she couldn’t see that this was the issue holding her back from achieving or gaining clarity on what she wanted.


  “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
Albert Einstein  


Life is a mirror. Little did I realize in that moment, as I watched this dear woman grapple with the “reality” of time, that this was the underlying issue that had saddened me all day. As I looked past the smoke and mirrors of a decision I made earlier, I realized that my pain stemmed from an underlying fear of wasting my time.

I worried that I might lose time if I made a mistake, as I felt I had done in the past, so I wanted to cut my losses with anything that looked as if I might be making an error in judgment.

However, everything is in divine order. Even if I made different decisions in the past, I would not be any further along than I am at this moment. Why? Because I needed the lessons I learned along the way to do what I am doing now.

We are where we are meant to be, and when we realize this at a deeper level, a great peace and understanding are felt.

Time is another form of separation, and it holds us back from living life fully. When we start to separate things into segments and compare ourselves to others or a fabricated timeline, we separate from our hearts and living in the present moment. It’s a facet of fear.

The movie “Sliding Doors”, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, demonstrated the What If scenario by playing out two timelines simultaneously. What if a character made a different choice at a given moment in time? The journey took a different route but the destination remained the same.

Quantum mechanics reveals that time can vary! Einstein postulated that time and distance are not fixed! Speed can remain the same even though distance and time change.

Einstein called the slowing of time due to motion time dilation.

v=d/t
velocity (speed) equals distance traveled divided by time

The PBS website from the show Nova on “Time Travel” states “the closer we came to traveling at the speed of light, the more time would slow down for us relative to someone not moving.” 

When we consider that an inner light is at the essence of who we are, this statement becomes more intriguing.

Time is malleable.

I left a half an hour later than intended for a talk I gave. I needed the extra time to place hand outs on 50 chairs and organize other aspects of my presentation.

I knew if I used the mantra on the 45-minute drive, “I’m late; I’m late,” I would have been an emotional wreck by the time I arrived.

Instead, I told my chattering mind to repeat, “I have all the time I need.” When I got there, one of my clients who attended this group was available and very happy to assist me by doing all the busywork.

I had more than enough time.

Time isn’t fixed. Escape the miasma of your self-imposed concept of time in your life.

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to re-evaluate one area of your life where you feel you do not have enough time. Look at it from a detached viewpoint of a wise friend and make a change to give yourself the gift of time.

With a zest for Life,
 
Virginia


Success Thought


Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT’S relativity.
 
Albert Einstein


Ready to reclaim your time
so you can live the life you choose?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

On a Dark, Desolate Road in Spain, This Happened to Me

January 21, 2019

The landscape looked like this, but the night sky was much darker.

After enjoying a month on the island of Ibiza in Spain, I traveled across the Mediterranean Sea to the eastern city of Valencia and then hitchhiked south along the coast to catch a boat and meet a friend in Tangiers. From there, we would travel across northern Morocco on his classic British Matchless motorcycle.

Hitchhiking in Europe was common when I was in my early twenties, and I met many people who graciously acted as if they were personal European hosts to foreigners.

Late afternoon, following a day of quick rides, a man treated me to my first experience of tapas, a Spanish appetizer, at a busy tapas bar.

After eating, I continued my journey as I put out my thumb for the next part of my journey, this time with a trucker.

Soon the sunny day turned to a gorgeous sunset, which turned to a dimly lit evening, and the vacation-spirited, coastal road turned inland. I missed the implications of that shift on the map.

During my 1 1/2 years in Europe and surrounding countries, I only ran into two potential problems while hitchhiking. The night after my transatlantic flight was the first potentially ugly episode. This was to become the second.

Although I couldn’t understand his Spanish while conversing, there was no problem in communication when he stopped at the side of the road.

I had a choice: sex or get out.

Of course, I got out. Then I saw where I was — desolate, surrounded by sand and what looked like a semi-arid desert with the outline of mountains in the distance, miles and miles away from anything or anybody.

I secretly opened my pocket knife, chipping off part of my tooth in the process.

Of course, I thought, he couldn’t possibly leave me here alone, so I went back into the truck’s cab.

Of course, he thought, this meant I agreed to have a romp with him.

Of course, I got out again. And he drove off and left me.

I was alone in the silent dark, in the middle of nothingness and nowhere, in the literal midst of no man’s land… and captivated by the still moment of exquisite Presence. Someone was watching out for me because I felt awe instead of fear.

Not too long after, I saw small lights undulating their way to me on the curvy road. In the several minutes that followed, I wondered how a speeding vehicle could see me in the dark and stop, and who was in the vehicle?

I decided to trust fate about the passengers — most people I met weren’t loonies like that trucker. Anyway, I didn’t have a lot of choices.

About how to highlight my physical existence, I remembered I had a matchbook with fewer than 20 matches in my backpack. As the lights drew closer, I lit one, single match, after another.

The driver stopped.

Much to my delight, the man spoke fluent English and was a perfect gentleman. He told me that all hotels in the port city would be booked by now. He dropped me off at a hotel in a nearby town where I could easily catch a ride the next morning in time for a boat.

Then he paid for my hotel room. No strings attached!

Actually, even though I never asked, countless people I met along the way gave me accommodations during my European trek. In addition to paying for several hotel rooms, twice I was given an apartment to myself for an entire month, once in Paris and another in Vienna, plus extended weeks at people’s homes. I believe they understood the travel adventure and wanted to help a young sojourner. All for free, asking nothing in return.

I can’t imagine how I would’ve spent the night in a port city with no vacancies and the endless time trying to figure out what to do if it weren’t for the incident with the trucker and the kind man who helped. Blessings are often in disguise.

I didn’t let fear persuade me to make a bad choice, and it worked out for the best.

Bullies, no matter what their position, don’t have to win unless we let them.


“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
Martin Luther King Jr.


Perhaps there’s a seemingly impossible situation where you feel stuck and don’t know what to do. Maybe it appears to be someone else’s fault.

Somehow you got yourself into it, and somehow you can get yourself out.

There’s always a way out. Trust yourself and listen to the voice within for guidance.

My mother frequently said, “Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

As you’re finding your way, look for the silver lining, too. It’s there. 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Ready to find the clarity
and courage to live your dreams?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

iT waz oNe of tHOse Dayz… and I Feel Great Anyway!

January 14, 2019

I’ve given countless workshops, but I never had more enthusiasm than I had while putting the one together last week. In addition to preparing for the workshop, I lovingly made food for nine people, cleaned and decided it was time for several house upgrades, etc., etc.

The night before the workshop, I awoke way early with less than two hours of sleep, but I didn’t feel tired.

I LOVED the workshop on Saturday, had an essential time out on Sunday and then Monday I jumped right into a full schedule.

Apparently because of all my activity, I wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and things got wonky.

Usually, I write this blog in advance, with a couple of days to edit and mail it to my list a little after 7 AM.

I didn’t get up until 7:30 and had no writing done at all.

A rough draft came together, and I edited between coaching sessions… only to discover after I mailed it that I completely wrote the wrong last name of a dear client.

The client in my first session had a brilliant insight that was so good I was going to write a blog about it. I mean, it even mirrored what I was learning last year. I carefully wordsmithed her ideas as she talked and wrote them down. At the end of her session, I hurried off the phone because of a scheduled call, a woman who’s always on time.

No call came.

Nonetheless, I was in my rush to send the client’s notes from the first session to her. I mixed up her last month’s and this month’s files I was closing and didn’t save her current one. All those wonderful ideas I carefully crafted for her and my future writing — poof! Gone.

While waiting for the call that was very late, another client called to reschedule. We did that, and then I commented about an experience that was happening to him. I soon realized I had been talking to myself. I don’t know if my phone disconnected or his. I called back and got his voicemail.

The woman who was supposed to call me got the time zones mixed up. We had a great conversation. We were starting to talk about her registering for my program when her baby did what babies do after they eat… everywhere. Yes, let’s talk another day.

And so the day continued to go.

However, what interested me throughout the day is the way I felt.

It’s probably a combination of getting tired of years of reacting to a lifetime of crazies and, as a consequence, what I’ve learned about being in present time, that I didn’t trigger an emotional OMG response to any of these.

Add to that the weekend workshop where we were aligning with a higher level of focus, and this was definitely small stuff.

Whatever the reason, it didn’t register that I should be upset or feel self-judgment. I was quite familiar with how those felt having mastered those responses in my past. Instead, I cleaned up the missteps and moved on.

I could’ve been sunning or watching a movie or going to the dentist.

Emotionally, it felt all the same. No charge but interesting to observe. Clean it up and go on to the next thing. I later realized how the missteps were piling up, and I needed a break because I was leaving behind an atypical pile of weirdness.

I felt that I’d been riding a large wave that came to shore, and what a ride it was. However, there were signs it was time to take a breather. Simultaneously, I was able to rearrange my schedule to take a few days for myself.

I know there are things you think you screwed up or aren’t working like you thought they would. Maybe they’re things that didn’t come out right when you said or did them. Some may be big whoppers.

Today you can start fresh. The crazy stuff will one day be a distant memory. No reason to self-flagellate. Realign your energy: be kind, learn and it’s called Next.

If life is working as you imagined, enjoy it guilt-free. You deserve it.

You’re really doing all right. You’re becoming aware of new things. Life moves on, and so can you.

You have a choice. Suffer and make it hard on yourself or choose to live your life with grace and ease.

Hint: the latter takes a load off your shoulders.

With all the missteps I made, I felt better making a decision to take a time out and regroup.

Getting upset is optional and doesn’t help anything.

How can you take a time out for yourself to gain perspective, even if it’s just to take a pause in your own thinking?

 

Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Decide that this is your year!
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Forget Age. I Just Saw Petula Clark Perform at 86 Years Old!

November 26, 2018

Petula.

Performing since the age of nine, and with England giving her the beloved name of their Pet, Petula Clark has had a wide and varied career — from singing for the troops during WW2 to an international pop icon, the movies, TV, radio, stage, clubs and touring. It doesn’t seem to be ending soon, either.

I saw Petula sing the day after Thanksgiving at the One World Theatre in Austin. She didn’t need pyrotechnics or props to make her show a WOW.

She was herself, with her music and us, playing to a full house. The audience adored her, and she loved us back. She was more than enough. In fact, she and her performance were stunning in a depth beyond words.

Somewhere in the back of our thoughts was the realization that we were privileged to see her shine at 86 years old. Her voice is strong. She adapted songs to fit her current vocal range. She moved a bit stiffly at times, but she still could do a wee jig as she did in the movie Finian’s Rainbow with another icon, Fred Astaire, while singing one of its tunes.

Following a story about Peggy Lee and herself, she sensuously sang Ms. Lee’s cover song “Fever.”

While she sang some of her classics, she made it a point to intersperse her repertoire with the present, starting the show with a song on happiness and later singing one she co-wrote about living in the now. She doesn’t want to be defined by the sixties and her most famous song “Downtown.”

She shared memories of needing advice when she visited John Lennon and Yoko Ono in Montreal during their Bed-In for Peace. There was no security, and she walked in. There they were sitting in bed. John said, “Hi Petula.”

She wouldn’t repeat his words, but I later read she was troubled about protests in Canada where she was giving bi-lingual concerts.

“I explained what was going on and asked him what I was supposed to do. John replied: ‘F*** ’em.'” He said it didn’t matter, and to let them get over it.

Petula is known as a great interpreter of songs. When she followed this story by singing “Imagine,” she brought us beyond just imagining to being in this imagined world.

When she sang the Beatles’ “Blackbird” and gently, meaningfully gestured with her arms as if they were wings, we were healed and rose up with her:

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Eva Peron talked to us from her heart when we listened to her sing “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” from Evita.

Petula Clark brought with her a lifetime of experience, caring, humanity, intelligence, emotion and sensitivity that a young pop icon wouldn’t know, couldn’t access. Now she can and does blend all of this with her talent and entertainment skill and gives birth to this combined force in a way she never could have done before.

Yes, we were there to be entertained. In addition, we saw a role model who spoke through example. Go beyond tribal thinking of limitation regarding age. There may need to be adaptations, like Ms. Clark did with her vocal range. But her voice is still very strong. What she may have lacked in body movement, she gained with her spirit and emotion that came from the depth of her being.

She is a living example to never give up. She knows life changes, so change with it. Petula Clark demonstrates that age can bring benefits that youth wouldn’t know, and one’s gifts can be shared even more richly.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

 

Are We There Yet? (Stop Waiting for Things to Get Better.)

May 14, 2018

past present future

Think about little kids who can’t wait to get to their destination and miss most everything that’s happening on the ride.

We can be like those children, too.

Lately, I’ve been observing people who are in the middle of transitions – starting new businesses; hoping to get work; ready for change; trying to heal faster; wanting more; needing different; can’t take living with tormenting thoughts any longer.

It can be challenging and discouraging, especially when there’s no going back and the future calls. But how does one get there?  There’s a need to get there because that’s where survival and happiness seem to be.

And the present… well, this is the painful part. Because the perception is that success and well-being appear to live in the future or in a memory of the past when everything will be or was better. Now is full of worry, anxiety, stress and suffering.

Actually, the miserable feelings come from living in the future or past: being here and wishing we were there. It’s an inner battle with time and a (mis)perception of how things are supposed to be.

We often get frustrated because we want everything to be the way we want it now, but it isn’t.

It’s okay. Just take things a step at a time. With each step, you’ll be closer to your destination. It helps a lot if you stop judging yourself and your situation with disapproval… and you’ll feel much better, too!

If we’re waiting for better days, we’re missing the only place they exist – in the present moment.

Your past and future only consist of other moments. If you’re not happy in this moment, you’ll repeat the patterns of stress and dissatisfaction in your future or your reflections of the past.

Furthermore, you’ll attract more experiences that will give you more of the same feelings you have now, regardless of how much you hate them. Like attracts like.

Here are some quotes by Eckhart Tolle that may help you take your power back or realize that you always had it but gave it away to ill-conceived perceptions of time.


“Waiting is a state of mind. Basically, it means that you want the future; you don’t want the present. You don’t want what you’ve got, and you want what you haven’t got. With every kind of waiting, you unconsciously create inner conflict between your here and now, where you don’t want to be, and the projected future, where you want to be. This greatly reduces the quality of your life by making you lose the present.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have…  Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”

“It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living.”


Are you there yet?

Or are you here?

 

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Always Late & Putting Herself Down

January 29, 2018

late

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” from Alice in Wonderland

A friend told me, “I have a character defect, and I really have to change it this year.”

She had a hard time being on time. 

She said, “If I have A, B and C to do, I try to squeeze it all in, even though I only have enough time to do A. Then I become late. It’s disrespectful to people, and I just have to stop it. This year, it’s got to stop!

“I was born three weeks late, and my mother just accepted my showing up late. It’s no longer working for me, though.”

Her self-deprecating tone became more disapproving the longer she talked. To listen to her, one might think she was headed straight to the bowels of the earth for her misdeeds.

To put it in perspective, though, it was tardiness and not the end of the world.
 


I told her. “You had an issue. You don’t have to keep bringing up examples of what you did wrong in the past and how bad you think are while dragging all of that into the present. You made a new decision to be on time. So be it.”

Her reply was, “It’s really so simple, isn’t it? I don’t have to beat myself up or agonize about my habits. Just make a decision to change, and then follow through.”


Have you ever felt miserable and chastised yourself about how you didn’t do as well as you thought you should? 

It reminds me of when I was in third grade and took a music test. I was sure I failed. The test scores wouldn’t come back for a week, and I suffered the entire seven days. Why couldn’t I have done better?

I got the highest grade in the class.

That was my first introduction to an idea, “Don’t worry until you have something to worry about.”

It took me years to take it to another level: don’t bother worrying at all. It doesn’t help. Worry and making ourselves wrong actually make our situations worse.

Ready to be ahead of your time?

  • Let go of your story that you continue to tell about time.
  • Stop using your stories as a way of getting attention.
  • If you messed up, you messed up. Learn from it and move on… without the story.
  • Release the need to justify your actions or get validation from others.
  • Accept yourself more without adding judgment, blame and shame.
  • Shift your focus away from your past and refocus on now and where you’re going.

Step at a time, you’ll be in front of time instead of behind it.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. 

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Do You Wish Things Had Turned Out Differently?

August 7, 2017

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

Why did she stay in a funk for so long? She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

In her ego’s way of thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried.  “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied dredging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations. Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being not good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when each looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.


Now, each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Your interpretation of them determines if you see these as mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy.

Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced one of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love. 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.P.S. All stories are shared after having received permission. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.