Posts Tagged ‘frustration’

Angry? Frustrated? Here’s What I Wrote to my Client.

August 12, 2019
Here’s an excerpt of an email I sent a client who’s been experiencing challenges.

Recently, I’ve observed people transitioning from the way their life has been to something new and different. That can bring up a variety of feelings, some pleasant and others not so much.
 
I remember thinking in the early 1990s that my entire life was about frustration. There wasn’t any part of it that worked, from health, finances and career to my marriage. All were falling apart. This perfect storm became the springboard that has shaped the rest of my life of personal discovery and helping people like you.



   
Change is in the air, welcoming it, liking it, wanting it or not.
 
For some, it’s an exciting adventure.
 
For others, a dark cloud hangs overhead.
 
You, like the rest of us, have had a lifetime of listening to the false guidance of your ego, that façade of an identity. For you, it includes difficult emotions like anger and frustration. These emotions are like software glitches.
 
Here’s what Wikipedia says about glitches… computer glitches are incorrectly written software, incorrect instructions given by the operator, undetected invalid data, undetected communications errors…
 
You are not your software.
 
In contrast, your Essence is prompting you to listen within. This is the part of you that knows “all is well.”

Abraham-Hicks said:

“Your emotions are your indicator of how your active thought blends, or doesn’t blend, with the thought Source is thinking about the same subject in the same moment.”


The inner turmoil you’re experiencing is the conflict between your ego’s perspective and that of the Source within you.

Naturally, your ego is taking an all out stand for you to listen to its lies, lies that lead you to feel frustrated, angry and needing to sort things out.

To protect itself, it uses a type of logic in which it’s already trained you, indoctrinated into you, so you believe that it’s telling you the truth. It presents its case that leaves you feeling anger and frustration.

The logic only works if you see things from its limited and fearful point of view.

Habitual thinking creates entrenched neural pathways in the brain. These become your default, your easy “go to” ways you react. These reactions, instead of responses, don’t always serve you.

Just because ideas are in your head does NOT make them true!

However, you can most assuredly access your true Essence instead, as it is YOU!

A key is to differentiate between the whispers of your ego and your Essence.

The ego certainly doesn’t want you to be around positive people that shed light on how it manipulates you. This way it has you, back where you can be controlled by the stress and chaos of unsupportive emotions.

In defense of the ego, it thinks its protecting you. But these patterns were created from a child’s approach to survival. When presented with adult situations, the peace of your Essence offers greater insight and direction.

Ask your Essence to step forward to be heard, and choose to listen to its guidance.



If you’d like help for 
your life to be easier
while getting results,
contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.
  Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.
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Negative People Left… and Lots More Business Came

January 15, 2018

bunnies (2)

Four long-time friends got together and formed a business. Two of the partners had limited thinking, were negative and unsupportive.

Before becoming my client, he complained about them to his other partner whose positive approach was more in alignment with his. He tried to make changes happen with the other two by talking with them. But they had strong beliefs that justified why they felt the way they did, which they considered sound thinking, practical and business-savvy.

From their logical analysis, businesses like theirs are hard to get started. There’s too much competition; people don’t spend money this time of year; people don’t have money for these services; and on and on.

In spite of my client’s well-intentioned efforts, and with all of his frustration, criticism and trying to enlighten them, two of his partners didn’t change. And their new business wasn’t moving along very quickly either.

When he started to take my Resolved for Results Success and Mastermind Program, he realized that disapproving of and talking about what you don’t want only energizes it so you get more of what you don’t want. Crazy sounding and backwards from how we think life should be, I know, but that’s the way universal energy works: what you focus on is what you get.

In his decision to apply what he was learning, he shifted his attention away from two of his partners’ actions and attitudes.

In its place, he chose to talk and think about what he wanted. He focused on his positive partner and the business doing well, and he didn’t allow himself to be distracted by the negativity of the other two.

A few hours after the fifth session with his Resolved for Results team, his new habit of thinking and feeling paid off. The two partners, who had been challenging, decided to step aside. It was all done amicably and with no hard feelings at all.

Later that same day and for the next couple of days, TEN new people showed up for their business services!

It helps to be on a team with people who know how to use positive energy. Why? Because we’re used to our patterns and may not recognize which ones hold us back. 


The energy you emanate and surround yourself with is real and impacts your finances, relationships, health and happiness.

You receive more of where your attention goes. It doesn’t matter if you like something or not. Whatever you energize with your focus will produce more of the same.

Like rabbits that reproduce quickly and prolifically, whatever you complain, get angry or talk about will multiply. If you feel sorry for yourself either in your head or whine about with others, you’ll get more of the same.

The blame game isn’t your ticket out, either, including blaming yourself!

Understand cause and effect. When you talk about something, you get more of it.


You control your destiny. You have the power to change your habit of thinking and feeling to create the life of your dreams.

The negatives in your life won’t change because you don’t like them but because you don’t energize them with your attention.

Instead, focus on what you choose. Give yourself time. It takes practice.

Then allow the Source of all to arrange life on your behalf… without worrying or trying to figure things out.

Be open to the miracles that follow.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals. 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: 4 Ways to Get Unstuck

January 25, 2016

cat yarn

Feeling stuck in your business or life? There are ways to free yourself – like untangling or cutting loose a cat who’s balled up in yarn. By the way, just because it’s stuck, there’s nothing wrong with the cat anymore than there’s anything wrong with you!

To help you unravel your stuckness, here’s an excerpt from the manual of my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Live Your Dreams… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

A client who emailed a request to her mastermind team wrote, “I have calls out to people, but things seem stuck.” Her goal was well written and specific, including her filling appointments for three cities and a meet and greet.

But I felt the fear under her request and called her. She told me she felt pressure because an out-of-state manager was flying in, and she didn’t have appointments scheduled.

We discussed anticipating the best and letting go of expectation. Part of this letting go was a preoccupation with numbers – the number of bookings. Instead, I recommended she focus on the quality of appointments vs. the quantity.

The next night she sent us a long email. “I woke up fresh and energetic, turned things over to my CEO (God)… I decided that I was not going to “push” to “make” anything happen.” [Her bold print]

Results? Before the end of that day, key people either returned her calls to book or called prospects on her behalf to fill the appointments for her! A big client contacted her to book four trainings. She hosted a successful event that afternoon plus found a perfect venue for a board member retreat following an unsuccessful month-long search.

If you hold onto how you expect life should be, what a person should do, or what’s supposed to fulfill you, you not only limit yourself but block your success and create unnecessary pain and suffering.

It pulls you away from the present moment and foists you into an imagined future of potential disappointment, discouragement, frustration, sadness, anger, or helplessness.

The beauty of the present moment is that it opens you to what’s in alignment with your soul. If one way doesn’t work, there’s a reason. Something better is available… if you allow it into your world.

Instead of longing for what mighta, woulda, coulda or shoulda been, notice the gift of accepting what is.

Anticipating the best instead of expecting specific outcomes makes your words more powerful and opens you to results designed for the highest and best interest for all. It’s an important lesson, and I invite you to consider it in case it’s making the difference between creating difficulties or catapulting you to greater success and abundance.

TIP:  4 Ways to Get Unstuck

Identify where you feel stuck. Feeling stuck is an emotional response that can leave you feeling there’s no way out. Instead, you can find a way to untangle yourself from whatever has gotten you balled up and take productive action. Here are four alternatives that can help:

  1. You’re frustrated because you’re trying to control the outcome by expecting it (or people) to be the way you think it should. Alternative: Relax and anticipate this or something better will occur. Stop trying to micromanage the world. This opens you to tune into new ideas and directions.
  2. You’re beating yourself up with regrets or other limiting thoughts and emotions because of your situation. Alternative: Release judging you, others and your circumstances. Replace it with an empowering perspective that you’re learning, and all is in divine order and timing.
  3. You’re focusing on how things aren’t working. Alternative: focus on what you choose and the good feeling mojo it creates. Good feeling mojo is what opens you to manifest more quickly and with grace and ease.
  4. You’re pushing to make things happen. Alternative: Stop resisting (and exhausting yourself about) what is and allow things to be the way they are. You getting fussy about it won’t change it or help. Let go. Let God. Set new goals for what you choose. Take action from this perspective.

When you shift your energy, you allow life to create miracles and successes beyond your wildest expectations.

Your Ship Didn’t Sail – That Wasn’t Your Ship!

November 10, 2015
 

Ever feel that your ship has sailed?

Aka, you missed your opportunity. You blew it. Circumstances are stacked against you, and now what? Humpty Dumpty can’t be put together again. Do not pass Go because your life is one big frustration that’s taking a nosedive from a high diving board into a shallow pool.

Forget this mental noise. Dump all these beliefs because they’re so not true.

You can bounce back from wherever you are, only not in the way you probably thought. (It’s a blessing although it may not seem it.) There are other financial opportunities. That wasn’t the only person or deal in the world. You’re not too old or too stupid. You can get out of a hole if you stop digging.

Despite appearances, there are more ships at YOUR port. You’ll see them if you stop looking at the ones that left.

The universe isn’t limited and neither are you! Life isn’t designed for you, your business, your choices, and the loonies to be perfect. Life is designed for you to grow and expand. This is how shiFt happens.

You have countless chances.

If your dream “ticket to paradise” was eaten by the dog, or you screwed things up so badly that there’s no turning back, different but better opportunities are waiting for you. And you’re all the wiser because of it.

We learn; we move on. Exit stage left the drama king or queen in us who plays the victim as we beat ourselves up or feel sorry for ourselves. Our good takes its bow on center stage as we open and are willing to receive something better.

So, if you missed my talk last week (or would like to hear an even better version), you can see me plus network at NWABC – Northwest Austin Business Connections – this Wednesday, November 11, 11:30 AM – 1 PM.

That’s where you’ll hear my presentation: From Burnt Out to Turned On – Be Richly Compensated Doing What You Love Faster and Easier than You Dreamed Possible!

Come to Mangia Pizza in Gracy Farms Shopping Center 12001 Burnet Rd., Ste D • Austin, TX 78758

http://www.nwabc.net/ has more details.

I’ve relaunched my life so much, often like a phoenix rising from the ashes, that I lost count of the times I rebooted emotionally, financially and physically. I’m sure you’ve had your share, too.

Lao Tzu said: “New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” Got it?  They aren’t failures. In the words of former Navy Seal Richard “Mack” Machowicz: Not dead. Can’t quit.

If not for one of the seemingly endless, painful times of my life, I would neither be coaching nor writing you now. My experiences gave me new direction. They groomed me to do what I do well and draw on my history of accomplishments more meaningfully.

What gifts did your challenges bring  you? Learn more about my story and how what I discovered can help you find your other ships by joining us this Wednesday.

TIP: Your Ship Didn’t  Sail – That Wasn’t Your Ship!

The stories you tell yourself about your business and life are what create your feelings of loss, failure, frustration, suffering… or success.

To see the bigger picture with a more positive viewpoint, look back to a time when things went you-know-where in a handbasket. What good came from it?

No, don’t think about last week’s mishaps or unresolved issues you haven’t been able to wrap your brain (or heart) around.

Look back far enough so you have the benefit of hindsight without the emotional charge.

If you’re stuck, instead of tuning into your defiant side, ask the wise part of you for perspective.

Learn. Be confident knowing that life is on your side. Good comes out of seeming bad just as fire brings necessary ecological change. Google “benefits of fire” if you doubt this.

How has your business or you emerged better for it? What ships did you board instead? If you can come on Wednesday, hearing about mine may put yours in perspective.

WHEN BUTTONS ARE PUSHED

March 25, 2011

 Have you noticed people’s buttons getting pushed lately? Some respond with anger, frustration or depression. Others find that finger pointing, denial and avoidance are easier than talking things through.

 Opportunities abound to deal with issues, but some prefer to ignore the elephant in the room. It would take more than new glasses to correct that vision.

 Changing perspective helps: step back emotionally and observe in a detached way. This reminds you not to take it personally. But what should you do about it?

 Ask yourself: Is there something to get out of it, something to learn? Or is the point to get out of it and leave?

 And what’s the best action to take? This depends on the circumstances. But driving yourself bonkers and making yourself wrong only leads to a dead-end street.

 A lovely woman sent me a very ugly email. She wrote about demonic forces and people we once knew. She couldn’t be friends with me anymore because I was still associated with them, even though I wasn’t for years.

 Weeks later she apologized. Because of past injustices inflicted on her by this group, her deep pain was triggered. She obviously wasn’t herself when she wrote it.

 The point? I got out of it lessons of compassion; forgiveness; grace; and not judging as people make mistakes.

The action? Let go of the past and move on. We renewed our friendship.

 A few months later she sent another email explaining how she couldn’t be my friend because of my involvement with these same people.  

 The point? Get out of it. When people create too much drama and repeat patterns that they’re not shifting, it’s often best to step back.

The action? Don’t respond. Bless the situation and relationship and let them go.

 Here are tips on what you can do when buttons are pushed. Oh well, I can honestly say I’ve learned each one by doing the opposite.

 You can choose to push the easy button instead by using the following:

  1. Breathe deeply in a relaxed way.
  2. Step back emotionally and observe rather than become enmeshed with the story.
  3. Listen to what’s being expressed and understand their perspective.
  4. Let go of a need to be heard, validated and to express your viewpoint.
  5. Ask yourself that even if you don’t like it: Why is it essential that others should think the way you think they should?
  6. Tune in to your gut – what do you feel is true and the best action to take?

 “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” Then take action.

 Warning: using these tips will not give you the emotional exhilaration received from feeling right; trying to fix or rescue people; feeling victimized; having your ego stroked; expressing anger; trying to control; or the comfort of familiarity from reliving your sad story.

 It will:

  • Bring you peace of mind and heart
  • Awaken you to greater wisdom and awareness
  • Honor others even if you’re sure they’ve lost their mind
  • Reclaim your time and energy to enjoy life and pursue your goals
  • Bring you better results in the long run.

 My cousin just called. “Be sure to tell people that everyone needs some silly in their lives and that laughter is the best medicine.” Thanks, Sharon, for the best ideas. Don’t take things too seriously. It’s all good.

KINDNESS, ANGER & FRANK SINATRA

February 28, 2011

 How would you feel if this were you?

 A friend waited behind a car as it sat through not one but TWO green lights. Well, he had several choice words for that driver.

 Angrily he drove his car next to the driver and a little girl who sat next to him. The man turned to my friend and said, “I have to take my daughter to the hospital, but I don’t know which way to turn. Can you help me?”

 His anger and judgment vaporized with this new perspective.

 While waiting at a counter in a small shop, the woman next to me wanted to reclaim a lay-away that had been there for several months. The clerk very politely explained that their policy was for 30 days, she didn’t have a record of it, and the owner wasn’t present.

The customer responded by heartlessly debasing the clerk for being rude  which she wasn’t being at all. After she left, the clerk told me that the customer had no idea of the challenges in her life and how much courage it took for her just to come to work.

 If the customer looked beyond her self-interests, she may have handled things differently.

Then there’s this story of kindness with Frank Sinatra.

 At a party hosted by Frank Sinatra at his ex-wife’s home, a young woman accidentally knocked over one of a pair of alabaster birds and smashed it. His daughter Nancy began to say how they were one of her mother’s favorites, but Frank stopped her with a look. As 40 guests stared in stunned silence, he quickly walked over to the other bird. He flicked it with a finger to the floor and smashed it, too.  Then he kindly put his around the woman and told her in a way to diffuse the situation and her discomfort, “That’s okay, kid.”

 Ahhh, grace in action.

 From individuals to world politics, I’ve heard many stories this week of missed opportunities for consideration, kindness or communication. An acting manager complicated instead of resolved a situation while treating a customer like a low-life. A delay in a project with no urgent deadline elicited unnecessary rebuke. People locked into a negative viewpoint while refusing dialogue.

 The ego wears many masks including: righteous indignation; superiority posing as the high road; impatience; sticking it to people; projecting one’s issues onto others; belittling; and judgment.

 How do you respond when things don’t go your way and your buttons are pushed?

 Everyone has bad days and maybe you could’ve done some things differently. But, there are times you’ve chosen grace and kindness. You’ve listened; considered other viewpoints before jumping to conclusions; welcomed communication; and allowed people to be themselves although different from you.

 The most important person to be kind and non-judgmental to is you. You can’t give away what you don’t have.

 How does this affect your goals?  When you’re hard on yourself and others, you may repel what you want most or find it slipping through your fingers once you achieve it.

 What can you do about it right now? Just change your perspective – consider another way of looking at things.

 Ask yourself, “What did I learn?”

Fast forward to the present moment as you leave the past behind. Benefit from your lessons and move on to your next adventure. One option is to do it without judgment, with grace.

SHORT STORIES OF LETTING GO

October 29, 2010

Spider Who's Secure in Letting Go

A client manifested nearly doubling the size of her facility while attracting countless miracles in the process – including her competition wanting to reserve her room for a weekly group. This could translate to more customers for the rest of her business. However, there are so many demands for her new space that opportunity turned to frustration as scheduling became a distressing challenge… until she had a change of heart. She emailed this to me so I can share it with you.

“I’ve been seriously stressing over how to work this other group into the schedule without upsetting anyone.  Of course, I was hearing many opinions on changing to different times and was trying to figure out a way to keep everyone happy – including the other group. I realized at some point early Tuesday (somewhere around 3 or 4 AM) that it would work out the way it was meant to and let it go. With or without the other group, my business has a great schedule and a lot to offer.

“By Tuesday afternoon, we easily figured out the schedule with the other group and it looks great! I listened to my gut and let it go.”

At 8 AM on Friday, she gave me an update that just occurred within the previous half hour. “Here’s another miracle.”

She had the renovations scheduled so she can open her doors in three days – with the exception of painting. Again, she let it go thinking it can happen after the opening, even though it would require taking down a wall of mirrors.

Until, that is, she casually mentioned this to a client who told her, “I can paint it this afternoon!!”

When you let go, you open to miracles.

THE OIL SPILL – THIS TOO SHALL PASS

June 24, 2010

Are you angry about the oil spill? Is someone or something frustrating you? Would you be happy if it weren’t for…

Take action, if possible, and remember “this too shall pass.”

What did you agonize about five or ten years ago? Maybe you felt stuck and saw no way out. However, circumstances changed, even if it was a variation on a theme. You changed and will continue to do so.

Life continues and shifts into something new.

Reflecting on a friend, I noticed how many changes she went through. They seemed all consuming at the time, that the pain or pleasure was endless. And then they passed.

  • She survived Katrina; her city was devastated and without utilities for weeks.
  • From morn to night for months and with no prior know-how, she purchased, gutted, and remodeled a store while negotiating with contractors and city boards for licensing. She briefly sold merchandise and then sold the building for a profit.
  • A very young and dear family member passed after a brief illness.
  • She won an iPod at a conference; it was stolen from her luggage at the airport.
  • She went to the theater intending to be part of the backstage crew and instead auditioned and played in her first and only onstage role.
  • Although an amateur photographer, she displayed her photos in a gallery.

All this occurred while in her late fifties and early sixties. Each time she was fully involved, and then things changed. Nothing stays one way forever.

Experiences come and go. Not only tough things pass, so do the precious ones.

Like roses, life’s ephemeral. Roses are beautiful, yet they too pass. They teach us to appreciate the moment and confidently express ourselves while alive.

No matter where you are now, this too shall pass.

You have this moment right now. Yesterday, in a minute or a week, next year, a lifetime – these are more moments, more nows.

Wars; illness; death – it seemed at the time the world would never go on, and yet it did.

You even survived a loss of love in high school, and you thought you’d never get over that pain and loss. Yet you did. Learned from it and moved on.

Something good comes out of everything.

Having lived in the Big Apple, I couldn’t imagine how people could ever come together in a spirit of universal kindness and camaraderie. Then 9/11 happened, and the beautiful spirit of the New Yorkers and world shined brightly.

In the midst of an oil spill tragedy, you have an option to look for what’s positive:

  • Many now feel more inspired to take care of the planet.
  • Exposed safety violations will lead to protecting lives and habitat in the future.
  • We’re learning some tar balls are from other nefarious spills and practices that have been polluting our waters for quite a while.
  • We have less toleration for corporations who care more about profit than lives and the planet  and are more willing to do something about it.
  • We’re more inspired to find alternative sources of fuel.
  • This event serves to create change.

People usually prefer status quo and don’t want to change unless something undeniably gets their attention.

The oil spill happened. Your life is as it is.  It doesn’t mean you approve of everything. However, from here, how do you choose to proceed?

Keep in mind, though, it’s not the end of the world, and this too shall pass.

If you don’t like something you can use your emotions to fuss up for the sake of feeling those emotions. Or you can think, feel, or do something differently.

You have a choice in how you interpret events.

When things don’t go your way, do you feel sad, depressed or angry, make mountains out of molehills,  find peace within, or take different action? If you choose worry, fear, and anxiety, remember this too shall pass. You can interpret life in a new way and focus on what you choose instead.

Put things in perspective.

Good or bad, circumstances change. What interpretation are you putting on events in your life? Remember, this too shall pass.