Posts Tagged ‘Self sabotage’

The Roller Coaster of Feast or Famine. Stop WAITING for it to be Better!

April 28, 2020

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months.

Immediately after she started coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero.

This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual wait-er? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Reprinted from March 25, 2019 Soulgoals’ Archive

Tired of waiting to live your dream
or enjoy your life?

Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

 

Copyright © 2020 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

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Your Good is on Its Way

April 18, 2019

 

Before I wrote my Soulgoals’ blog, I published a weekly article called Soulgoal Missives. Recently, I came across this folder of these posts and thought I’d share with you a missive I wrote in 2002 titled “Your Good is on Its Way.” May your good grow in whatever ways are meaningful to you!

Sometimes the good we desire in life seems to come to people around us first. If we can praise and give thanks for another’s blessings, rather than be envious and jealous and critical, then we can be assured that those same blessings (or even greater ones) will come to us.
Catherine Ponder,
Open Your Mind to Prosperity

 

I had wonderful, good news. Something very special happened. Metaphorically, for me it was as if I’d won the lottery jackpot.

When I shared it with a couple of friends, I knew they were happy for me. But at the same time, there was disappointment and a tinge of sadness that they hadn’t hit the “lottery,” too.

Continuing with my lottery metaphor, they were buying tickets regularly and wanted to win for a long time. I imagined winning but didn’t play much. However, someone offered me a winning ticket, and now I’m enjoying the benefits.

I thought that if they understood a nuance of life, then they’d be ecstatic for me.

Nothing comes to us, nothing enters our life, unless some part of us is in alignment with it.

When others have goodness come into their lives, and then they’re around me, that means my good is on its way… IF I ACCEPT IT. If I get bummed out because someone else was successful at something and I wasn’t, then I send my good away.

When something good happens to someone around me, even if it’s180 degrees opposite of where I am, even if I’m in the pit of despair about this very topic, someone’s success inspires me with a reason to rejoice as it’s a sign, a messenger, that my own good is on its way. 

With this perspective, jealousy, envy, sadness, disappointment and discouragement, because of another’s success, go flying out the window. These emotions send our good away.

Knowing how this works, chasing our good away suggests we’re either experiencing temporary insanity or invested in self-sabotage.

How does feeling good about someone else’s good affect us? Let’s look at it from a point of view that all life is energy, and that energy is affected by our emotional state.

Imagine someone is flat broke and doesn’t know where to get rent money. Being in the dumps makes it difficult to earn any money or come up with ideas to make some.

Then information comes that a large, unexpected check is in the mail. Instant relief – the pressure is off. Happiness. Gratitude. Enthusiasm. Feelings shift to being upbeat and creative – ideas flow and new thoughts are magnetized toward this dynamic state. Élan vital, a vital force or impulse of life, is tapped. Nothing is the same after that.

The world of imagination is made real.

When we tap the élan vital, we shift our ability to receive the abundance that life offers. Life is waiting to bring us blessings; to receive them we must be in a state of willingness, allowing this grace to enter.

After our conversation about my “winning the lottery,” one of my friends opened up to the possibility of winning, too. The next day she e-mailed me about two lottery tickets someone gave her. She didn’t hit the jackpot, but she is grateful for winning tickets.

Your good is close; be willing to let it in. This is grace; invite and allow it to work through you and touch your life. The more you allow this heightened state of accepting life’s bounty as part of who you are, the more magical and extraordinary your life becomes.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to celebrate other people’s successes.

If someone shares a success with you, find a place inside of yourself that’s genuinely thrilled and happy for him or her – as if it happened to you. Don’t judge that it’s not good enough or too good! Practice gratitude that someone with this experience is either around you or that you learned about it. Then assume your good is near and will appear in its own way, when the time is just right.

Truly, your good is not just on its way, it’s here now. Open your eyes to see it.

 

Ready for more good in your life?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

Life or Biz Up and Down? Waiting for a Change? Plus Quotes by ECKHART TOLLE

March 25, 2019

 

A woman’s business had been in desperate straits for several months. Immediately after coaching with me, her phone rang with new clients, deals closed in avalanches of abundance and her sales far surpassed her goal of $1 million a month.

However, in the subsequent month, her active deals dropped again to zero. This was an old pattern of hers – the roller coaster of feast or famine – and it always led to her feeling exhausted.

When I asked about clients in her pipeline, she described how she was frustrated by waiting for them to complete their preparation before they could actively move forward.

Her focus was on waiting to see what they were going to do. Emotionally, the waiting weighed heavily on her. As she had difficulty thinking of anything else, she felt dispirited and immobilized.

Why, when she was doing so well, was this happening… again?

Just like infection-fighting, white blood cells attack germs that have gotten into a wound, your spirit comes to your aid by highlighting germ-like, limiting beliefs you harbor.

How? By surfacing your issues, you have an opportunity to see them more clearly or repeat the typical way you respond. When you see them, you can release patterns that don’t serve you and do things differently.

We frequently are staunch defenders of why we must believe the way we do and stubbornly hold on to the way we look at things. This is why the same limiting circumstances recur repeatedly. 

Her inner spirit, once again, revealed the domino effect of her self-sabotage:

  • She was waiting for something outside herself to dictate her focus, and it froze her into inaction. 
  • Her thoughts made her feel bad.
  • Thinking about it from this perspective exhausted her.
  • She felt so deflated that she wasn’t inspired to do anything else.
  • Then she attracted little business, which matched her deflated feelings. 

A more powerful approach was to do everything she could to help her current deals. We talked about new strategies she could implement. Then move on. It’s called NEXT!

She let go of waiting and replaced it with a new action plan. By the end of her session, she felt lighter and energized to move forward.

Here’s how she changed to activate a more empowering domino effect:

  • Her old habit, mentally and physically, was to wait for things to fall into place the way she thought they should before taking action.
  • This time, she realized she’d do what she could now, and let the rest unfold in divine right timing.
  • This opened up mental space to let go of her fixation and instead redirect her focus to other activities.
  • The heaviness she usually felt shifted to the excitement of possibilities.
  • She became inspired with ideas to take effective action.
  • Having created a more powerful, energetic center of influence, she magnetized herself to attract more and better business.

Here’s what Eckhart Tolle says about waiting:

“You don’t have to wait for something ‘meaningful’ to come into your life so that you can finally enjoy what you do. There is more meaning in joy than you will ever need. The ‘waiting to start living’ syndrome is one of the most common delusions of the unconscious state.”

“Don’t wait to be successful at some future point; have a successful relationship with the present moment and be fully present in whatever you are doing. That is success.”

“Give up waiting as a state of mind. When you catch yourself slipping into waiting…snap out of it. Come into the present moment. Just be and enjoy being.”

“Waiting is a state of mind that says we want what we don’t have. Therefore, with every kind of waiting we produce an inner conflict between now and the projected future. This greatly reduces the quality of our life. Are you a ‘habitual waiter’?”


Are you a habitual waiter? If so, you can change, instead of waiting for change, by making new choices!

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Tired of waiting to live your dream?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.