Archive for the ‘Breakdown’ Category

How My Client Lost His $100 Million Empire

January 28, 2019

Here’s a blurry picture that he took of me next to his Lamborghini in his parking garage. See the angled object to the left? The doors open up to reveal the steering wheel and car’s interior. It’s one powerful beast of a car to ride in.

 

I remember the day he told me that he “got it.” While driving after a team meeting, the words he’d been hearing woke him up. His imagination creates his world, and he controls his imagination. That was his turning point.

Joining one of my first Success Teams in 1995, he was so brilliant then that I sometimes took notes when he spoke.

He started as a small business owner and then moved out-of-state where he built an empire valued around $100 million in a cutthroat industry. His personal monthly take home, not including his business profits, was $40,000 a month.

Looking to pass on techniques that created his success, he flew me in to train his salesmen. Sitting at one end of the conference table, he introduced me as the reason he achieved what he did.

There’s a 1970’s commercial that says, “When EF Hutton talks, people listen.” When he finished talking, not only did everyone turn 180 degrees to hear what I had to say, I literally heard the swish as their heads swung in my direction.

That month, he hit his first million dollar month.

However, his focus changed, and he wanted to be free to fulfill… well, anything he wanted.

After that, we lost contact for three years. It wasn’t until his lifestyle behaviors, let’s say of wine, women, song and ego gratification, created such heavy, negative consequences that he reached out to me again.

Being very conscious of his physical appearance, he worked out a lot. He told me later that he knew alcohol put on weight… so he started to use cocaine instead.

With dramatic personality changes, he felt that as long as he paid people well, including close family members who worked for him, he could be verbally abusive and treat them however he wanted.

As time went on, things became very bad. That’s when he contacted me to fly in and work for him.


Once, while looking for validation, he said to me, “Come on, Virginia, I’m your most successful client. Right?” For him, money was the penultimate symbol of success.


The drugs rewired his brain, and I slowly began to acknowledge that he wasn’t the same man I once knew. Too slowly. I still bought into his reasoning, his excuses.

I still saw him as the awesome man he used to be. I’d known this man for decades and saw him through that filter. Even after I bailed him out of jail. Even as I was asked to sit outside his office the next day when I went to work and discovered the law put on locks to bar entry.

His family staged clever, false, illegal strategies against him. However, the way he reacted and handled it nailed his own coffin.

There was always an explanation that it was someone else’s fault. This included when he railed against the judge in a long letter to all his clients that the judge was in cahoots with the other side.

We were shopping in Whole Foods when he told me that, earlier in the day, in a court in another state, a judge officially stripped him of it all. His $100 million empire — gone.

This occurred during the time I invited him into my home to offer a safe haven and supportive modalities to help him get back on track.

At least, that’s what I thought was happening.

That week, I watched him sit in a chair in my living room, lost in a world of his own, angrily and vulgarly name-calling siblings who did him wrong.

On the fifth day of his visit, his welcome abruptly ended when he viciously shouted at me like a repeating rifle, in my own home where he was a guest, accusing me of trying to get him killed. How much were they paying me? How could I betray him like that? Why was I lying?

With a drug-addled brain, his former good discernment was replaced with a dark and out-of-control imagination. Earlier in the week, he shared with me how he was paranoiac, afraid and suspicious of people.

It reminded me of when I walked behind a man on a sidewalk in Times Square, New York City, who was having an angry conversation with someone who didn’t exist physically but was very alive in his head, like an endless, repetitive loop of a broken record.


My client, my friend, became a cherry on top of my life lesson of the year, ranging from business to an intimate relationship:

See people for who they are and how they’re showing up NOW — not how they used to be, not who their words tell you they are, not as a fantasy of how you’d like them to be.


I realized how I did this in a relationship, too. I saw a man that I was dating not for how he was showing up in the world. I believed the image he was projecting to me.

The worst part is that he believed his own lies.

Once, I told him, “I don’t trust you.” He replied, “You don’t trust yourself.” 

He was redirecting my attention so I would doubt myself, but I think he believed he was communicating some insightful truth. Later I realized: yes, he was right. I didn’t trust myself that he wasn’t a man to be trusted.

Not long after he spoke those words, drama from his emotional dishonesty overflowed into my life.

When I asked one of my teachers what those experiences were all about, he told me, “People hear and believe what they want to believe.” He added to see people for how they’re showing up, not how you want them to be or their potential.

That was my HUGE wake-up call!!

People Hear and Believe What They Want to Believe. 

I wasn’t paying attention to what is but living out of past images that were!

I see the same things in today’s world.

When politicians’ true colors start to show, some people remain in denial. They won’t separate their wishful thinking about who they thought the politicians were from how they’re actually showing up. Evidence to the contrary be damned.

May you wake up to SEE.  May you have the courage to set aside your filters, those oh so comforting protective mechanisms, to see whatever there is in your life that would benefit from your clear sight.

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Ready to find clarity
to go beyond your self-limiting
filters and live life on your terms?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Advertisements

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.

TIP: Benefits of a Breakdown

September 13, 2016

phone-desk-large

 

What was up with last week’s TIP with *|FNAME}* written instead of your name?

Things don’t always go the way we think they would or should.

Regardless of appearances, if we look, we’ll find a silver lining.

I lost my internet connection early Friday afternoon, and the service provider already left for the holiday weekend.

Benefit: I took the weekend off to play and do other things instead of focusing on a deadline for my new Soulgoals website.

Monday morning I received a call from my ISP. Ah, just in time to send you my TIP.

As I was ready to hit send, the connection dropped again.

No worries, I’ll use my cell phone. Simple.

Instead, I deleted it.

My neighbor let me use her computer.

I printed what I had written on my PC and retyped it on her small screen… which is how I ended up writing *|FNAME}* instead of your name.

As the TIP was about not making things laborious, and this became a three-hour process, I decided to take a short cut.

I cut the number of words to 1/3rd.

Benefit: Every week, I had an intention to shorten my TIPS, and it didn’t quite happen. Using my fatigue as “inspiration,” life showed me how.

Your TIP is to see how your life is being rearranged to make things better.

Breakdowns or things falling apart often precede breakthroughs.

Don’t beat yourself up.

Dump the guilt and blame.

This is a moment when you can let go of your resistance and open to new perspectives.

Redirect your focus from the breakdown to the benefits.

Benefit: My breakdown provided the idea to share today’s TIP with you.

When you go through a hard period,

When everything seems to oppose you,

… When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute,

NEVER GIVE UP!

Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!

Jalaluddin Rumi