Archive for the ‘Breakdown’ Category

All is NOT Lost! What to do if Things Don’t Work the Way You Thought.

September 24, 2019

What do you do when you’ve invested a lot of energy into results that don’t happen?

You were really counting on that contract to come through, but now it’s up-in-the-air. A friend said she’d help you move but bailed at the last minute. Your relationship falls apart.

Things just didn’t work out the way you thought they should or would.

A freelancer counted on her big client to provide a steady flow of income. She had a realistic expectation this would continue.

Suddenly, she was let go.

After the initial shock, she put it in perspective. She used a journaling exercise found on my blog and had a CEO meeting with God. https://soulgoals.wordpress.com/category/ceo-meeting-with-god/  (Scroll down to the post on October 2, 2009.)

She realized she now had time to focus on projects and business ideas she’d put off.

Things don’t always work as expected. But change always makes way for something better, regardless of how it appears in the moment.

Your income, love, support, health and results don’t come from only one source. God, the Divine, is your supply. God or the universe, whatever word is in alignment with your beliefs, is never lost and offers infinite possibilities. Therefore, if something doesn’t work, new ways are found.

Maybe the change is what it took for you to let go and allow new possibilities to occur.

Sometimes you have to let go to free yourself.

Remember the proverbial monkey who grasps something in a vase but can’t remove it? The neck of the vase is so narrow that he has to release his grip just to get his hand out.

You’ll get results: your expectation, goal or something better. However, you may need to change your perspective or approach.

You may need to let go of your emotional and mental grasp to allow something better to come in.

What you focus on grows. In the past, have you chosen anxiety? Instead, enjoy a childlike trust and curiosity. Look for how the universe is assisting you. Consider it a mystery, and you delight in discovering an answer.

Believe there’s a happy ending, and focus on it. Why not? You probably tried fear and worry (over and over again), and they don’t produce lasting and fulfilling outcomes.

By the way, about out freelancer. All was far from lost. New jobs appeared through happenstance, and her big client came back a few months later. Her job situation worked out when she let go and shifted her perspective.

 

This is a reprint from February 7, 2011, of one of my most popular posts.

 

If you’d like to discover
how you can change
your losses to gains,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

How My Client Lost His $100 Million Empire

January 28, 2019

Here’s a blurry picture that he took of me next to his Lamborghini in his parking garage. See the angled object to the left? The doors open up to reveal the steering wheel and car’s interior. It’s one powerful beast of a car to ride in.

 

I remember the day he told me that he “got it.” While driving after a team meeting, the words he’d been hearing woke him up. His imagination creates his world, and he controls his imagination. That was his turning point.

Joining one of my first Success Teams in 1995, he was so brilliant then that I sometimes took notes when he spoke.

He started as a small business owner and then moved out-of-state where he built an empire valued around $100 million in a cutthroat industry. His personal monthly take home, not including his business profits, was $40,000 a month.

Looking to pass on techniques that created his success, he flew me in to train his salesmen. Sitting at one end of the conference table, he introduced me as the reason he achieved what he did.

There’s a 1970’s commercial that says, “When EF Hutton talks, people listen.” When he finished talking, not only did everyone turn 180 degrees to hear what I had to say, I literally heard the swish as their heads swung in my direction.

That month, he hit his first million dollar month.

However, his focus changed, and he wanted to be free to fulfill… well, anything he wanted.

After that, we lost contact for three years. It wasn’t until his lifestyle behaviors, let’s say of wine, women, song and ego gratification, created such heavy, negative consequences that he reached out to me again.

Being very conscious of his physical appearance, he worked out a lot. He told me later that he knew alcohol put on weight… so he started to use cocaine instead.

With dramatic personality changes, he felt that as long as he paid people well, including close family members who worked for him, he could be verbally abusive and treat them however he wanted.

As time went on, things became very bad. That’s when he contacted me to fly in and work for him.


Once, while looking for validation, he said to me, “Come on, Virginia, I’m your most successful client. Right?” For him, money was the penultimate symbol of success.


The drugs rewired his brain, and I slowly began to acknowledge that he wasn’t the same man I once knew. Too slowly. I still bought into his reasoning, his excuses.

I still saw him as the awesome man he used to be. I’d known this man for decades and saw him through that filter. Even after I bailed him out of jail. Even as I was asked to sit outside his office the next day when I went to work and discovered the law put on locks to bar entry.

His family staged clever, false, illegal strategies against him. However, the way he reacted and handled it nailed his own coffin.

There was always an explanation that it was someone else’s fault. This included when he railed against the judge in a long letter to all his clients that the judge was in cahoots with the other side.

We were shopping in Whole Foods when he told me that, earlier in the day, in a court in another state, a judge officially stripped him of it all. His $100 million empire — gone.

This occurred during the time I invited him into my home to offer a safe haven and supportive modalities to help him get back on track.

At least, that’s what I thought was happening.

That week, I watched him sit in a chair in my living room, lost in a world of his own, angrily and vulgarly name-calling siblings who did him wrong.

On the fifth day of his visit, his welcome abruptly ended when he viciously shouted at me like a repeating rifle, in my own home where he was a guest, accusing me of trying to get him killed. How much were they paying me? How could I betray him like that? Why was I lying?

With a drug-addled brain, his former good discernment was replaced with a dark and out-of-control imagination. Earlier in the week, he shared with me how he was paranoiac, afraid and suspicious of people.

It reminded me of when I walked behind a man on a sidewalk in Times Square, New York City, who was having an angry conversation with someone who didn’t exist physically but was very alive in his head, like an endless, repetitive loop of a broken record.


My client, my friend, became a cherry on top of my life lesson of the year, ranging from business to an intimate relationship:

See people for who they are and how they’re showing up NOW — not how they used to be, not who their words tell you they are, not as a fantasy of how you’d like them to be.


I realized how I did this in a relationship, too. I saw a man that I was dating not for how he was showing up in the world. I believed the image he was projecting to me.

The worst part is that he believed his own lies.

Once, I told him, “I don’t trust you.” He replied, “You don’t trust yourself.” 

He was redirecting my attention so I would doubt myself, but I think he believed he was communicating some insightful truth. Later I realized: yes, he was right. I didn’t trust myself that he wasn’t a man to be trusted.

Not long after he spoke those words, drama from his emotional dishonesty overflowed into my life.

When I asked one of my teachers what those experiences were all about, he told me, “People hear and believe what they want to believe.” He added to see people for how they’re showing up, not how you want them to be or their potential.

That was my HUGE wake-up call!!

People Hear and Believe What They Want to Believe. 

I wasn’t paying attention to what is but living out of past images that were!

I see the same things in today’s world.

When politicians’ true colors start to show, some people remain in denial. They won’t separate their wishful thinking about who they thought the politicians were from how they’re actually showing up. Evidence to the contrary be damned.

May you wake up to SEE.  May you have the courage to set aside your filters, those oh so comforting protective mechanisms, to see whatever there is in your life that would benefit from your clear sight.

 

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

Ready to find clarity
to go beyond your self-limiting
filters and live life on your terms?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:

virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2019 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

What’s Spring Doing to You?

April 10, 2017

I’ve lived through a few “dark nights of
the soul.” Life or circumstance created
feelings and thoughts that cloaked me
with a heavy pall taking months to release.

Then, just as spring arises from the
barren winter, signs of life within me
determinedly emerged like a phoenix
rising from the ashes.

I understand when people can’t seem to
throw off pervasive feelings that run in
the background like a software program
that’s been slowly and covertly draining
their energy, often for a very long time.

Finally, as if they were running on a low
battery but getting by, the charge is
gone. They can’t take it anymore and
have to do something.

As I ponder what to write to you
today, all I can think about are
several, recent coaching sessions:

People identified specters that lurked
in their shadows for years, haunting
them with their convincing influence
of limitation and disapproval.

______________________________

They courageously pulled back
the curtain that hid their inner
tormenters, which were revealed to
be nothing more than Wizard of Oz
imposters, and freed themselves.
______________________________

Previously, the ego’s dictates filled
their thoughts and feelings like smoke
in a room on fire with little space for
breathing freely.

When the air cleared, the peace
and empowerment of the present
moment shined like the sun on a clear,
cloudless day.

True freedom.

This freedom comes from no longer
being thrashed by past pain or fear
of the future or the hollow echoes that
they, what they do or their lives aren’t
good enough.

______________________________

Maybe you’ve heard those voices in
your head, too – the worrisome talk 
that creates fear, doubt and anxiety
disguised as the voice of reason.

You obediently listened, and now you
don’t take risks or you fritter away your 
energy distracted by blame, shame,
regret, doubts, grief, frustration or
lack that leave you too exhausted to
create the life you really want.
______________________________

Living in the Now even for a moment
brings relief.

The heart freed of shackles, that were
locked in restraint by misty, forgotten
memories, is free to rejoice in renewal,
like the season of spring.

Or is it the spring that can recoil and
stretch to accommodate life’s demands?

______________________________

Living in the Now takes practice, and it
helps to have positive support to
counter the ego’s seduction that tries
to hook you into believing that you can’t
attain the life, business, finances and
happiness you really want.
______________________________

Inevitably, the ego tries to lure you
again with its hypnotic trance of anxiety,
lack, fear, doubt and limit, which results
in dissatisfaction.

However, once the taste of freedom
is savored, it’s proof that peace and
happiness are more than a wishful
hope.

Years of habit have etched neural
pathways in the brain spawning ruts
of discontent.

That all changes when being nurtured
by living in present time as new
pathways gain dominance.

A friend texted for me to write about
never giving up on your dreams.

With an unencumbered
spirit, your dreams or something
even better can come true.

Believe.

P.S. Know others who could use help to be free so they can create a better life and business? Please forward this post.
I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would  benefit from new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because of your interest in Virginia’s TIPS.

TIP: Benefits of a Breakdown

September 13, 2016

phone-desk-large

 

What was up with last week’s TIP with *|FNAME}* written instead of your name?

Things don’t always go the way we think they would or should.

Regardless of appearances, if we look, we’ll find a silver lining.

I lost my internet connection early Friday afternoon, and the service provider already left for the holiday weekend.

Benefit: I took the weekend off to play and do other things instead of focusing on a deadline for my new Soulgoals website.

Monday morning I received a call from my ISP. Ah, just in time to send you my TIP.

As I was ready to hit send, the connection dropped again.

No worries, I’ll use my cell phone. Simple.

Instead, I deleted it.

My neighbor let me use her computer.

I printed what I had written on my PC and retyped it on her small screen… which is how I ended up writing *|FNAME}* instead of your name.

As the TIP was about not making things laborious, and this became a three-hour process, I decided to take a short cut.

I cut the number of words to 1/3rd.

Benefit: Every week, I had an intention to shorten my TIPS, and it didn’t quite happen. Using my fatigue as “inspiration,” life showed me how.

Your TIP is to see how your life is being rearranged to make things better.

Breakdowns or things falling apart often precede breakthroughs.

Don’t beat yourself up.

Dump the guilt and blame.

This is a moment when you can let go of your resistance and open to new perspectives.

Redirect your focus from the breakdown to the benefits.

Benefit: My breakdown provided the idea to share today’s TIP with you.

When you go through a hard period,

When everything seems to oppose you,

… When you feel you cannot even bear one more minute,

NEVER GIVE UP!

Because it is the time and place that the course will divert!

Jalaluddin Rumi