Is This a Turning Point in Your Life?

Once upon a time there was a farmer named Sei Weng who had one horse and one son. One day the horse wandered away, and the neighbors commented that this was unfortunate. The farmer replied, “How do you know it’s bad luck?”

Soon after the horse returned bringing several wild mares with him. The neighbors congratulated him on his good luck. Ah, what lovely, strong horses! However, the farmer responded by saying, “How do you know it’s good luck?”

The son was thrown while riding one of the wild horses and broke his leg. His neighbors once again commented on how sorry they were for his bad luck, at which the farmer said, “Good luck, bad luck. Who knows?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted into the military and sent into battle. Because he had a broken leg, the old man’s son didn’t have to go to war. The neighbors were excited about his good fortune, but the farmer remarked, “Is it good or is it bad?”

Another version of this folktale concludes with, “That’s the way it is.” Another says that fortune turns to misfortune, and misfortune to fortune. There is no end to changes, and the mystery can’t be known.

Because the farmer was emotionally detached and didn’t go along with everyone’s thinking, he was able to see a bigger picture. 

Life presents both challenges and blessings. Your perspective determines how they affect you and your ability to make your dreams come true and live your best life.

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According to the Chaos Theory our lives are always in chaos, and this is what opens us to fresh forms and possibilities.

When we reach what is called a “bi-furcation point,” a “point of departure” takes place, and a “self-organization out of chaos” occurs.

In other words, events that serve as turning points create a new order and structure.

Instead of adversely reacting to circumstances that seem bad, consider they may be a portal to something greater than you currently can imagine.

A messy divorce may be a ticket to personal empowerment and overcoming fear.

Challenging health, work, family or relationship issues, the loss or lack of worldly goods or money, or pain may be what cracks the shell to allow humility and what’s truly important to be seen… and the impetus to get real or pursue one’s dreams.

You can choose your perspective. Look deeper.

No matter how it appears, things change. The highs become lows or ordinary.

Regardless of how frustrated or hopeless aspects of your life may seem, this too shall pass… into something better if you allow yourself to see.

This edited Soulgoals’ Blog was originally posted on March 8, 2013. 

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Could you use help in changing the way you see some things? 

Contact me to learn how at:

virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com

I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.

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I Learned This While Existing in a Living Hell

During my twenties, miserable because of a five-year relationship, I had a dream. For years I kept its message on my dresser, although I didn’t know what it meant or how to do anything about it:

 Find the Heart and Rescue It 

He had a Ph.D. in psychology and was a revered member of our spiritual community, which played into why it took me a while to realize I lived with a self-centered, master manipulator who cared only for himself.

He easily saw my vulnerabilities of low self-esteem and self-doubt and how to use them to intimidate me and undermine my self-confidence while bending me to his will.

Although we had been dating long distance, he lived a six-hour drive away, we solidified our legal commitment to be together within three weeks after my father passed away. 

Note: It’s recommended to avoid making big decisions after experiencing a death.

In our second month together, I was bullied to let go of my business and with it my financial freedom. Amongst countless other examples, he listened in on my phone conversations and would scream at me non-stop if I didn’t do what he wanted. He even left me stranded in a southwestern desert at 3 PM in the middle of the summer with no cash or credit cards as he drove away – to return 30 minutes later. 

In our third month together, the stress of what my life had become short-circuited my adrenals, thyroid, blood sugar and more – so I wasn’t able to speak my words in the right order, think well, have physical energy to move and would cry if someone said hello. 

Enabling this behavior was my belief there was something wrong with me. Years later, when I saw the 1944 movie Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman, I recognized that this was what he tried to do… make me believe I was crazy so he could control me.

My unhappiness induced me to question and think. 
 

He insisted his reality was truth, but was it? His created what I called a living hell on earth.

I made a bad choice to be with him, which put me on a sorrowful path. Eventually, I figured out that regardless of how many good choices I subsequently made, I was still on the wrong path. 

I had to listen to my heart, my truth, and not give my power away.
Even if others claimed to know more or be an authority.
Even at the risk of losing my worldly goods. 
Even with my perceived HUMILIATION that, once again, I made a relationship mistake.

Actually, it was my ego’s need to protect this self-image that held me back the most. 

My survival ultimately depended on my ability to listen to my guidance, speak up for MYSELF and not be cowered into obedient silence and submission.

When I got honest with me, changes occurred, which made my exit easy. I packed my car and was gone in three weeks. 

The good news is that this experience taught me to think for myself and not believe others’ so-called authority. I learned to separate what I saw was true vs. what others told me I should believe.

And be the coach I am today.

It’s like the person who says the proverbial, “Yes, I’ll still love you in the morning” … not. Beware: many people lie to get what they want. Many believe their own lies!

What life do you want to live? Are you living it? Are you willing to honestly speak up, at least to yourself, and acknowledge what’s in your heart? 

Don’t wait for permission. It’s YOUR life!

Edited excerpt from Soulgoals’ Blog Post May 8, 2011

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