Archive for the ‘Do What You Love’ Category

“I Honestly Didn’t Think I’d Ever… Be Happy.”

October 16, 2017

 

Depressed icelandic sculpture (2)

Sad Statue in Reykjavik, Iceland

 

“I think Virginia has met the person she can’t help,” confessed my client about her previous thoughts. However, feeling better than the dark pit she’d been in for years, she decided to take my Resolved for Results program a second time.

At 60-years-old, she told me she was “habitually, genetically, psychologically, emotionally and medically depressed.” 

For over ten years, she was “flatlined, checked out and not showing much interest in anything.” Add to that traits she learned during her childhood from an emotionally unstable parent: judgmental and overly critical of others and herself.

We met at a gym many years earlier. She recalled that I was friendly towards her and did some kind of work about career and business. She thought about contacting me but never did.

Just before her divorce from a 27-year marriage and leaving the house she helped to design and build, she reached out for help.

“I had to do something different. I had to trust someone because my voice, what I had been telling myself, wasn’t reliable.”

This was a world away from who she was at 16-years-old.

As a teenager, she was an apprentice to an artist from whom she received extensive lessons and even traveled with this man and his family. Visiting them every summer in Santa Fe, they became another set of parents to her for seven years.

It was during their trip to Mexico that he developed his distinctive style that catapulted him to become a world-famous artist whose work is now displayed in the Smithsonian.

Eventually, they went their separate ways.

My client married a good man and joined him to create a successful, construction business.  She believed she “should” have been happy, yet she spiraled down into an ever-deepening depression.

She beat herself up heavily for this, wondering what was wrong with her.

Used to blaming herself, she didn’t realize her self-proclaimed fault wasn’t the reason for how she felt.

Not doing what she loved was at the core of her depression.

She talked herself into believing this didn’t matter, yet she now sees that “this was the key to my soul!”

How she went from “the dark side” to the light.

My client began to experience feeling up and then returned to her familiar down periods. As she learned new tools and perspectives, she was able to sustain feeling good for longer periods of time.

Yet, she didn’t trust feeling light because it was different from the darkness that became her uncomfortable, comfort zone.

Unbeknownst to her, she’d been in preparation for when her new self emerged, which she now calls “a person I don’t even know who’s now come back.”

When her famed teacher came to her town, she felt well enough emotionally and mentally to attend his exhibit with another artist friend.

Little did she realize that being in this environment would trigger her turning point. Her spark for living reignited, and her whole life transformed into a joy that she didn’t believe she’d ever experience.

One month since her “shift” and in a few days from the time of my writing this, she’ll be a guest at this artist’s home in Santa Fe, New Mexico, for a couple of weeks. After, she’ll visit friends in Colorado, a trip she wasn’t up to making a few months ago.


Because of her extra-ordinary and personal background as his student and apprentice as well as being considered one of the family, she’s enthusiastically considering a professional recommendation to write a memoir about her experience with this artist and his early days.

It took her nine months to make this dramatic turnaround and overcome more than a decade of sadness and inertia. She got her life back.

“Before and during the beginning of my working with you, I never believed that I would be anything other than dark and depressed.”

There was no way she would have dreamed up or planned the way life orchestrated what’s now happening.

Her change was possible because she:

  • Resolved to change
  • Got help
  • Gained clarity
  • Let go of the past
  • Unveiled and released beliefs she didn’t know were holding her back
  • Learned new tools and perspectives
  • Followed the positive voice in her head instead of the negative ones
  • Set powerful intentions. 

All of these changed her energy, which led her to be at the right place at the right time and willing to receive her heartfelt desires and happiness… even though they seemed impossible!  


One month after meeting her old teacher, she sent me this text:

“Still up!!!

I honestly didn’t think it would ever happen.

Thank you for believing in me and teaching me how to be happy.”

After years of isolating herself and being withdrawn from the world, now she “can’t stop talking.”

Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.

She told me, “I can’t thank you enough. You saved my life.”

It’s never too late to do what you love and be happy!

Don’t give up.

It’s worth overcoming your mental chatter and limiting beliefs that you can’t do what you love because of fill in the blank reasons.

You are worth it.

You can be financially successful. You can build your business to stellar levels, enjoy your ideal work or share your gifts in a BIGGER way.

You can be happy.

Starting now, you can create your best life ever! It’s your choice.


 

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.
Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

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Do You Wish Things Had Turned Out Differently?

August 7, 2017

Not happy with her life, she felt depressed for quite a while.

Although her current employment has gratifying moments, she’s caught in a dead-end job that’s light years away from the passion that lights her up.

Why did she stay in a funk for so long? She kept reflecting on her past and projecting it on her future.

In her ego’s way of thinking, success would continue to elude her no matter how hard she tried.  “Nothing will ever work, so why bother?”

Another watched big parts of her life and years-long business eclipse into oblivion, and she felt that she was “losing everything.”

Yet another looked back at a lifetime of accomplishments and compared them to others. She thought life (and money) had passed her by while she was preoccupied dredging through drama, mediocrity and poor choices in relationships and affiliations. Ignoring the good stuff, she felt her grand total added up to not being not good enough.

The ego likes to judge and compare and creates suffering in the process.

However, when each looked deeper, their perspectives changed.

To sum it up in a few words, that was then and this is now.


Now, each is focused on starting a new chapter.

 


Life is full of twists and turns, and the longer you live, the more ups as well as downs occur. Your interpretation of them determines if you see these as mostly peaks or mostly valleys.

Regret is a complete waste of time and energy.

Once, while talking to one of my teachers, I said I felt like several years of my life were a wasteland. With a big world out there, my world felt barren.

He asked, “What did you learn?”

Interestingly, while outwardly my life lacked adventure, it produced one of my biggest growth experiences.

What I thought was a dry desert was actually part of my schooling to more effectively help people get unstuck and, instead, be richly compensated doing what they love. 

When momentum from my former, fast-paced activities slowed down, I thought my life had stalled. I later realized I had been on a fast train heading in the wrong direction. Shifting gears provided an opportunity to let go of my old ways that I thought were my “right” ways.

My new track was the route to greater authenticity, fulfillment and success.

You are scripting your life and business.

You don’t have to try to defend or justify why you are where you are now because of your past history.

Simply live in the present and move forward.

If you don’t like parts of it, how can you put them in a more empowered perspective?


Ask your inner wisdom how everything that’s happened in your life and business has all been a foundation for your next chapter.

 


If you wished your life or business had turned out differently, this is your moment to gain insight and, as if you’re writing a play, create your next act. Script it so that the best is yet to come.

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

P.P.S. All stories are shared after having received permission. Their intention and mine is that others may benefit.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

This Stops You From Getting What You Want

January 23, 2017

cow-india

Sacred Cow: an idea, custom, or institution held, especially unreasonably, to be above criticism (with reference to the Hindus’ respect for the cow as a sacred animal).” from Bing

Historically for Hindus, cows provided food, fuel, disinfectant and fertilizer. In other words, cows were needed for survival. Eating the cow for meat works for the moment, but there goes the source of milk, dried cow dung for fuel, fertilizer and more.

How can leaders communicate to the masses not to kill their cows? Make them sacred. Make killing them taboo.

Likewise, we have beliefs that made sense once upon a time, like telling children not to talk with strangers.

However, especially if you’re in business or working with the public as an adult where talking with new people is essential, this pattern can thwart your success.

In humble prayer: God, I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Except see that one little thing? Not that. Otherwise, anything.

God replies: Focusing on that one thing is the only thing I ask of you now.

That which is so sacred to you, that idea or belief that you don’t want to consider, can be the one thing that stops you from getting what you want.

It’s usually some way you’ve always done things, the way you’ve always thought or felt – even if it doesn’t work or makes you feel unhappy.

What if you based your thinking on a few faulty or limited premises?

Don’t you go asking me about my mama. Although therein can lie the key to your self-esteem and ability to set boundaries.

That’s sacred cow/ sacred belief territory. Back off. However, those who have the courage to look can find freedom.

Those type of entrenched neural pathways in your brain can make you feel that you have to chew on distressing thoughts  – that’s just a habit to keep you spinning in circles.

The ego wants to figure things out, and in doing so, you can stay stuck for years wanting to understand and know why… because it’s so complicated.

That habit of thinking is a trap, like the Sirens calling the boats to shore so they’ll crash.

Do what Odysseus did for his crew. Put metaphoric wax in your ears. Restrain yourself from the addictive pull of the way you usually think; it’s easier to do when you refocus your attention on happier things.

Maybe the lesson to be learned is to let go and take your life back.

Beliefs are only thoughts you repeatedly think. You HAVE the power to think other thoughts. Choose to stop letting others and circumstances control what goes on in your head and influence how you feel.

My church tells me such-and-such, so I can’t consider anything else.

Every week as part of the religious service when I was a kid, I thrice hit my heart with my fist as I spoke aloud three times: “Lord, I’m not worthy.”

Talk about pounding a (false) belief into the body.

In my family we always follow tradition. So a man became a lawyer even though his heart wasn’t in it, he wanted to be in another profession, felt miserable – and his wallet reflected it.

When companies go through changes, they often challenge the way things have always been done – the sacred cows of their culture or systems.

What beliefs do you hold so dearly that they’re beyond criticism, beyond your examination that they might not be true?

Your sacred cow beliefs may be the very ones holding you back from getting what you want – happiness, more money and success, better relationships, health and business.

Summon the courage to look. Journal about it.

You can live your dreams, be happy, be richly compensated doing what you love, and invest in yourself instead of taking care of everyone else.

What a concept.

Why not be happy? Only your sacred cow beliefs will tell you a limiting answer because your essence only chooses for you to be free and enjoy life.

P.S. If you feel this sacred cow message might be moo-sic to someone’s ears, please forward.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

Be honest. You want this more than anything.

January 10, 2017

man-with-rainbow-pexels

Let’s cut to the chase.

Regardless if you wrote New Year’s resolutions or goals for this year, you know one thing. Parts of your life work and others not so much.

You probably grumble about what you don’t like, either a little or you’re running a full-length movie.

Why do you feel this way? Because you don’t feel good that some things are the way they are.

I know this is simple. However, it provides a BIG clue to what you want more than anything.

First, let’s look at some basics you might enjoy improving:

  • Better health – You’re so done with those niggly or essential health issues and emotional stresses that you’ve been tolerating.
  • Higher quality relationships – Enough with people who are your fill-in-the-blank pet peeve. Bring on the love.
  • Increased financial success – You’re tired of the worry or limitations from not having the cha-ching to enjoy whatever you choose in life. Or you’re afraid of losing what you have.
  • Fulfilling career/ business/ doing what you love – It’s high time for your creativity to shine more brightly and for you to revel in what you do – or discover what that is.
  • Positive growth in all ways – Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual: you’re ready to bring out more of the best of you.

What will having these do for you?

You’ll feel good. You’ll feel happy. You’ll feel that life is worth living.

Everything you desire is because, underneath, you believe it will bring you what you want more than anything.

Happiness.

This is good feeling mojo, and it impacts your attitude and creates momentum to enjoy life.

By identifying what creates happiness for you, and using this as your personal GPS, you’ll discover fulfillment and success.

Yes, we’re still focusing on simple, but look what often happens.

People put up with others and situations that could be changed by redirecting their attention with a dose of clarity, confidence and courage.

Mulling over unhappy stories of the way things are, aka excuses and erroneous beliefs, keeps us unhappy … until circumstances snap us out of our fixed thinking, the burden of pain becomes too great or we make a conscious choice to do what it takes to let go and change.

A woman wasn’t happy with her job, but for fifteen years she believed this is what social work is like everywhere.

Circumstances changed, and she found an identical job in another office that she loved. Her beliefs about work weren’t true, and the limiting story she told herself kept her stuck.

For years, an unhappy husband held himself back from enjoying life because of his sick wife. He patiently waited for her to die. She outlived him by ten years.

Many have a high tolerance for pain and put up with things waaay too long.

What makes you feel unhappy? Your spirit is giving you a clue. Do something differently.

You may have to walk through your fear or sacred cow beliefs to do it.

It’s of little importance if you don’t know the big picture of where you’re going or you don’t know how to do whatever. Age, your past history, your health, your degree of stuckness or frustration or confusion do NOT matter!

Start with baby steps toward what makes you feel good, and they’ll lead you to what you need.

In my late twenties, while in a toxic situation that shattered my health and felt like a five-year prison sentence, I had a dream with a message. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I wrote it on scrap paper and put it on my dresser.

Find your heart and rescue it.

In my early forties, I cried miserably as I walked alone in my neighborhood at night because none of the above mentioned “basics” were working for me. (By the way, that was my turning point to start coaching.)

You can turn anything around to your benefit, and use this present moment as your springboard to create more joy.

Be patient with yourself.

One day, your life will flash before your eyes. Create a movie you’ll enjoy seeing because you’re happy.

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: The Four Tops and The Temptations – Wow!

November 8, 2016

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“Are you feeling alright? Oh yeah. Put your hands together.”

With horns blaring to their harmonies and synchronized moves, the Temptations delivered a non-stop, high energy performance, starting with “Get Ready” along with favorites like “My Girl” and “Just My Imagination.”

Both groups played full out, giving their all.

The magic took off at another level when the Four Tops came on stage: “Feel it. Feel it.” And we did.

Abdul Fakir, the only original of the Four Tops who’s still with us, turns 81 on December 26! No way he looked or acted that on stage!! He’s on the far right of the photo.

Roquel, the son of Lawrence Payton who was one of the original Four Tops, has got the moves! He’s on the far left.

Abdul talked about the joy, celebration and positive energy of members of the Four Tops who’ve passed. Their energy lives on.

For their encore, we were all on our feet shouting along with “I Can’t Help Myself” (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch).

Hearing the old songs and seeing the dancing brought us back in a time machine. Everyone had memories.

My earlier life flashbacks during the back to back performances, and set up time in between, nudged me into a mini life review.

That’s where I was when their music played. I went through being an adult. Now I’m here.

What happened in between?

When you look back at your life, what do you see?

No matter what you’ve done or haven’t done, here you are now.

There are ups and downs (by the way, everyone has them not just you), but they change.

One time you’re surrounded by those people, another time you’re not.

Your livelihood and circumstances altered.

When you look back, you can see everything that didn’t work, who done you wrong, your mistakes and unfulfilled dreams.

However…

You can see another timeline, too – who you helped and helped you, what you learned, who you became along the way and visions for your future.

No matter what perspective you choose, you cannot fail at life.

There are no angels with clipboards keeping a tally of judgment on you. That’s a human invention.

You are divinely loved and accepted for who you are – a brave Soul who showed up on this planet, learning and growing.

Just like a baby isn’t judged for falling while learning to walk, neither are you while you’re learning.

While freeing yourself from self-judgment, consider this.

Think about a time in your life, let’s say ten or twenty years ago.

What you experienced felt like your never-ending world. Then it passed or morphed into something different.

Now you’re here in this now.

What you think, feel and envision now are creating what’s to come.

How clear is your vision because it’s your blueprint for your life and business that’s yet to come?

Your TIP is to create your life or business to be Wow!

Care enough about yourself to be happy and do what you love instead of what you think the world expects of you.

Decades ago, while in a very sad situation, I had a dream. “Find your heart and rescue it.”

One way you can do this is to honor yourself and your feelings. What are they guiding you to do?

If you feel unhappy, unfulfilled, unhealthy or your business or finances are bringing you down (not enough time, money, feeling good about you – or can’t get no satisfaction), that’s called a clue!

It’s time for a change – do something differently!

Your past is behind you.

In the now, are you being kind to yourself? Are you doing what you love?

Is your business or life what you choose?

If it isn’t, in Star Trek lingo, are you on a trajectory to “make it so, Number One”?

Your happiness, health and finances depend on it.

Regardless of your answer, you can make new decisions.

You’re still breathing, so it’s not too late to change your viewpoint, make new choices and do what you love.

Regardless of your age or circumstances, you have more than enough time to have your life and business be a series of Wows!

 

Virginia works with people who long to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck. She helps them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.

For more information on upcoming mastermind groups or a complimentary Do What You Love Break-Free Session, email Virginia at vg@ResolvedForResults.com

Copyright © 2016 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.