One afternoon, while on Broadway in midtown Manhattan, New York City, I walked a few people behind a man who was having an animated argument with someone. Speaking in a loud voice, hands gesticulating passionately, I wondered who was the recipient of such a tirade.
It was just him battling with himself.
Someone and something really got to this guy, and he allowed it to drive him to act crazy.
Throughout your life, some people have done you wrong, and some may have gotten to you.
In the past (or maybe present), you’ve been:
- abused, misused, ignored, rejected, undermined, betrayed, robbed, disappointed, manipulated, humiliated, the focal point of someone’s greedy, crazy, unconscious, demeaning, insecure, unfair or malevolent intent…
Often the perpetrators have been those most trusted and least expected to turn on you, such as:
- close friends, family, significant others, church members, neighbors, co-workers, clients, bosses or business associates.
The results may have left you feeling that you’ve lost:
- hope, your confidence, your spark of life, your capacity to find joy, your ability to ever succeed again or even care about it, your connection to the universe or your faith in God.
“The most important question you can ever ask is if the world is a friendly place.”
Albert Einstein
Einstein’s question is a game changing one to ponder. Your answer determines if you’re going to let the crazies, past or present or less-than-favorable circumstances, get to you. Consequently, will you allow them to impede your ability to be open to the success and enjoyment you richly deserve?
Are you letting undesirable memories occupy your attention so much that you won’t allow yourself to see that the world is a friendly place?
Often we’re attached to how we expect people and things are supposed to be. When they go haywire, our ego/ brain loves to binge-watch reruns of movies about personal, sad stories of our lives over and over again.
Instead, change the channel and focus on something in your life that works.
Relitigating your past by vacillating between trying to prove how you’re right and “how dare they” doesn’t help. Have you noticed? You won’t end up feeling better, and feeling good is important as it’s a key to attracting success.
Personally, instead of letting go of my faith in life and humanity, I (eventually) learned to have greater discernment.
You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Kenny Rogers, “The Gambler”
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run.
Some people in my life who appeared to be helpful, trustworthy, supportive, emotionally healthy, well-meaning and even spiritually awake… I came to realize were toxic, emotionally immature, going in a different direction or no longer fit who I had become.
I could grumble about them incessantly, which I’ve done. I found it more useful, though, to see them as my teachers: learn my lessons, chalk it off to another life experience and move on.
It took me a while to see people for who they are, not for who I thought they were or wanted them to be.
Here’s an interesting twist.
Underneath this crazymaking, there’s a whole lot of disapproval going on.
Sometimes the other person starts it, and we respond back with disapproval and judgment, or vice versa.
When we enmesh ourselves in disapproval energy, we give others the power to control our happiness — from complete strangers whose driving we don’t like to annoying people in our day-to-day lives.
When we expect others to behave or show up in a certain way so we can feel good about ourselves, in essence we’re saying:
You need to change so I don’t have to change. My caring about you is conditional. It’s dependent on you acting the way I think you should. Otherwise, I might feel that I’ve lost control.
When the awareness comes that we alone have control of our attitude, then we don’t need others to be different so we can feel good.
Of course, do what’s wise to care of yourself, but you get to choose your attitude.
Energy changes when practicing this. The crazies start to evaporate from your life like the morning fog when the sun comes up.
Do you allow others to affect your psyche, your joy of living, your success, your ability to pick yourself up and start again regardless of whoever or whatever happened or is happening to you?
It’s your choice.
If you’d like support to discover how to reclaim your life so you can live YOUR dreams, contact me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com
http://www.soulgoals.com
I help women to tune in to their true Selves, see clearly and live their personal and professional dreams.
Original Soulgoal’s Blog was posted on September 18, 2017.
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