Archive for the ‘Time’ Category

Not enough time? This story may help you.

July 25, 2017

“I don’t have enough time” was a client’s mantra for a very long time.

On the surface, it was tempting to agree with him.

There’s a side-business where he invests several hours of nearly daily training and research before making decisions on actions to be taken.

Later in the day, he starts his high-level and demanding, Monday – Friday, day job for 10-11 hours each day. This can spill over into weekends for special projects.

Because of past health conditions, it’s essential that he exercises and pays attention to eating well and sleep.

After these long hours, he returns home late to family and household responsibilities.

Maybe you can relate to his busyness in your own way.

As he discovered, there was far more to his lack of time than appearances would suggest.

Unbeknownst to him, it wasn’t his schedule that caused his stress, but the guidance coming from his ego.

Wayne Dyer expressed it well: “The ego is only an illusion, but a very influential one. Letting the ego-illusion become your identity can prevent you from knowing your true self. Ego, the false idea of believing that you are what you have or what you do, is a backwards way of assessing and living life.”

How he set himself up for stress

While discussing his strategy on how he approached tasks, he said that he feels the strong need to jump from one to another in order to keep up with them. He also has an underlying feeling that if he lines up tasks and plans them out, they’d seem too predictable and boring.

Ironically, it’s this strategy that creates predictable and boring outcomes: not enough time, the pressure of a deadline looming over him and stress.

Furthermore, when he completed his tasks under duress, he then had justification, in his mild-mannered way, to drop hints to others about how hard he worked… to get their validation and approval.

His ego loves an audience. By the way, this is a common trait of the ego – whine, albeit subtle and with proven evidence, to get attention and sympathy – even if it’s just your own! Ever feel sorry for yourself?

After reading this, so he could include his comments before posting, he added the following insights:

“I learned as a child that I’d receive attention if I was very upset or sick from headaches. For me, pressure leads to stress, headaches or some physical issue. I learned to keep the pressure off by keeping expectations low.  Then, I’d surprise them with a good result. It is all related.”

As an adult, stress still garnered him attention.  Others could see him as a martyr for working hard.

One more pay-off. The stress of not enough time created an adrenalin rush.

In other words, he became addicted to the drama that stress created because the adrenalin rush was like a drug.

An alternative

Recently, a top supervisor asked him to complete a detailed project.

At first, he didn’t enjoy it. Then, he got into it and “was in the flow” of getting it done.

A co-worker just happened to call.

When his colleague learned about the project, he made a recommendation that saved my client lots of time and allowed him to meet his deadline much faster and easier.

Here are his discoveries about his relationship with time:

  • Even though initially he thought the opposite, jumping from one project to another was predictable and created boring results. It usually caused stress with a hope of getting praise for his valiant efforts.
  • Instead, when he was in the flow while doing projects, miracles unpredictably happened, like someone calling for an unrelated reason and providing solutions.
  • By being in the flow, rather than motivated by stress, he actually saved time because he was open to receive unexpected, better and more time-effective solutions.
  • In the past, he strongly held the belief that the only way he wanted to take action was if he felt fear or worry. Now, he realizes his self-created drama fed a stress addiction, which according to the American Institute of Stress, can be as addictive as drugs.

If you find yourself stressed for success with never enough time, what’s your emotional pay off? 

Release this pattern, and you open the way to greater abundance – in business, money, relationships and a satisfying life.

Start releasing patterns through awareness 

  • Notice when the mind chatter begins, and you want to react the same way you usually do.
  • Instead of dutifully listening to and following your ego’s guidance as if it’s the authority on your life, begin to recognize your old habits when they arise.
  • Know you have a choice – blindly follow the ego like you’ve done in the past or consciously choose to take more empowering action.
  • Choose to be in the flow instead of defending your limited thinking.
  • Create a new story about time. Change your affirmation from “I don’t have enough time” to “I have plenty of time.”

When you cast light on shadows, the shadows disappear.

What do you have to lose? If the other way isn’t helping you, why not try something that might?

With gratitude,

Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy reading this? Please forward.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

TIP: How to Stay Motivated

January 11, 2016

What's Your Why

What would you like your year to bring? More money and time? Smoother family life? Fun and friends? Relaxation and vacations? Better health? Big dreams coming true?

Without knowing “your why,” the reason your goal is important to you, your motivation can become like a wind-up toy that ran out of its wind-up. Soon after, you return to the same ole, same ole way you’ve always done things. Add to this frustration and disappointment.

More money is appealing. But money for money’s sake may not provide enough incentive to create more cha-ching in your life.

In the movie Joy, Jennifer Lawrence’s character was highly motivated not to quit. Against all odds, she dug deep and found reasons to keep going. Because she knew her “why,” she found a way out of overwhelming failure to experience success.

Interestingly, sometimes a reason to accomplish goals is a gut-level determination to take care of yourself or stop playing small. The line is drawn in the sand. You’re no longer going to tolerate what’s not working. You’re inspired.

Following are excerpts from my Resolved for Results course to help you stay motivated and get in touch with your why – the soul of your goal:

Have you ever desired something and, when you got it, realized it wasn’t what you really wanted? You asked for a specific outcome but didn’t clarify the soul of your goal, its essence.

Well, that explains the divorce rate.

Have you ever desired something, got something else instead, and then realized it was better than what you asked for? You tapped into the soul of your goal.

Sally’s ideal scenario included very specific details, including marrying a 6’ 2” red- haired man who owned a 10,000 acre ranch.

I asked if she would like to have several employees around all day because, with a spread that size, she could attract a working ranch.

That was absolutely not her intention. She wanted the acreage for privacy. She could have received what she asked for and not been happy… along with a man who fit her description but didn’t share her values. She didn’t mention any.

When I looked for a house, the soul of my goal included a low maintenance, wooded area offering privacy but not seclusion.

I bought a home at the end of a cul-de-sac in a country subdivision with a Xeriscaped lawn. It’s surrounded by trees, a greenbelt in the back, and a fenced-in 1000 acre, exotic wildlife ranch next to a neighboring tree-filled lot.

Have you pursued a goal, got discouraged or sidetracked, then lost energy to keep going? If you don’t have a compelling reason, “your why” that underlies your goal, it’s easy to get off-track, lose motivation, and quit.

TIP: How to Stay Motivated

Be still and go within. Ask your soul why your goal is important to you.  Intend to get an answer. Now write about it so that you tap into your gut-level reason of why you choose this. Write so authentically that it can bring tears to your eyes.

Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.

Be open to receive.

TIP: Quotes To Inspire You To Live Your Dreams

November 17, 2015

In your teens, life is in front of you. You feel that you have all the time in the world with infinite possibilities. As you get older, time and potential carry a different meaning.

Recently at a party, I listened to several people’s life stories. In retrospect, they shared how they spent their years while inhabiting planet earth.  There were times devoted to their professions, characters met along the way, and relationships/sagas with family and friends.

Currently, all of them were following an inner impulse, even though they didn’t know how or where it would lead them. One didn’t relate to “retirement” and took action on a marketing idea. A mom decided to get out and socialize with new people. Another creatively discovered solutions to projects.

What about you? Whatever you’re experiencing now is both an all-encompassing, attention grabber for you as well as part of your book of life that you’re writing.

In this moment, you’re literally writing this chapter. Its foundation is built upon your vision as well as how you interpret what you’re seeing, the emotions you feel, and actions you take.

The great news is that you can complete this chapter and design the next any way you choose. There are key elements to have your results match your intention which include:

  • Believe in yourself
  • Surround yourself with supportive people
  • Get clear on what you choose – your dream and direction
  • Stop trying to figure everything out in your head first
  • Let go of limiting beliefs
  • Take a calculated risk on you and your dreams
  • Create a momentum of energy through action

Virginia’s TIP: Quotes To Inspire You To Live Your Dreams

It’s never too late to fulfill your cherished desires. Your journey and destination may look differently from what you thought. However, you have a dream in your heart for a reason. Following are quotes to help you live your dreams:

“If you ask the ‘how’ question before the ‘what’ question, all you can ever hope to create are variations of what you already have.” Robert Fritz

“Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King Jr.

“Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” –e. e. Cummings

“Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” –Mark Twain

“You can’t outwit fate by trying to stand on the sidelines and place little side bets about the outcome of life. Either you wade in and risk everything to play the game, or you don’t play at all. And if you don’t play, you can’t win.” –Judith McNaught

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” –Steve Jobs

“Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it.” –Oprah Winfrey

“Often the difference between a successful man and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk, and to act.” –Maxwell Maltz

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” –Michael Jordan

“Don’t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Risk more than others think is safe. Care more than others think is wise. Dream more than others think is practical. Expect more than others think is possible.” –Cadet maxim

“We are condemned to live out what we cannot imagine.” Thomas Moore in Care of the Soul

“Life is a ‘choose your own ending’ book- you can take whatever adventures you want.” Erika Towles, Age 12

How do you choose this chapter of your book to end? Go for it!