Archive for the ‘Struggling’ Category

You Don’t Own Me – Enough of Crazy-Makers and Annoying Thoughts

September 16, 2019

“If you do not run your subconscious mind yourself,
someone else will run it for you.”
Florence Scovel Shinn

This is a reprint of an email I sent to my clients on March 31, 2014. Now I’m sharing it with you.

While driving, a client told me that he had to pull over to the side of road to scream at his thoughts to shut up.

It reminds me of these lyrics: “You don’t own me. I’m not just one of your many toys… And don’t tell me what to do. And don’t tell me what to say… So just let me be myself. That’s all I ask of you.”

Few welcome being controlled, yet most are controlled by feelings and thoughts they don’t want.

Have you ever been plagued by beating yourself up with worry and fear over money; stress about time or relationships; grief; suffering over the way you look or feel; confusion over what to do; sadness or countless other ways of feeling bad? That’s why many turn to drugs, alcohol, food, over-working and blaming others.

What to do?


Gotta DO something. Ah yes, the default response: analyze, take time to process, wrap your brain around it or intellectually understand.  

But here’s the trickster’s game of your ego, which is the false identity you think is you.

Because our computer/ brain was never programmed with how to get rid of these feelings and thoughts, we end up feeling worse because we can’t find answers.

Or we get ideas that we can’t get to make work, blame ourselves… but keep trying ineffective approaches.


As a client said, it’s like going to a dry well looking for a drink of water, and the well is toxic anyway.

Regardless, most have a habit of trying to figure out how to let go of the way they feel, and they often can’t allow themselves to hear anything that doesn’t center around mental solutions. If you’ve done this, it’s an indicator that you’ve given your power to your ego to control you, own you, instead of knowing how to gain mastery of your life.

Results? As like attracts like, if you’re feeling negative you’ll attract more negativity. Positive attracts positive.

If you feel unwanted emotions, who’s having you feel this way?  They may have started with childhood messages or emerged because of circumstances, but there’s no one in your head telling you to think or feel this way.

As you’re the one who’s doing it, you CAN choose to do something differently.

Before you start beating yourself up about having beaten yourself up, there’s NOT something pathetically wrong with you. It’s the way the ego works, and we all have one.  BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO CONTROL YOUR LIFE,  MAKE YOU FEEL MISERABLE, DRIVE YOU NUTS OR HOLD YOU BACK FROM MAKING YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!

Everything is energy, and the energy from thoughts or feelings can be released. They’re only feelings. They don’t have to own you.

Years ago while we were talking, a friend of mine felt anxiety about her upcoming divorce. I suddenly felt anxiety in my gut, but hers was gone. I said I didn’t want it and gave it back to her. We laughed as we bounced the sick in the gut feeling back and forth between us before deciding to let it go. In other words, we could control the presence and absence of this gut-wrenching feeling which meant we could simply let it go.

This includes any feeling!

You can do the same.


Instead of acting helpless in the grips of Robo-Ego, know that you’re in charge and undesirable feelings can leave.

Here are a few tips:

  • If you want or need something, you’re coming from lack. You’ll be perpetually in a place of wanting instead of having what you choose.
  • What you resist persists. Although it sounds counter-intuitive, if you don’t like something, you’re holding onto it.
  • When you let go of trying to control, wanting validation or desiring safety, you can have them.

Ever notice when men or women want a relationship? The objects of their desire want to run. Same thing with money, health or anything.

The freedom everyone longs for breezes in when we let go because then we allow our spirit, our wise self within, to be in charge. It can happen in seconds not years. But we block ourselves from having what we really, really want when we clutch onto yucky feelings in our chest or gut or when we’re stuck in our heads.

There are underlying beliefs we’ve tucked away that impact us, but they can be prompted to surface and be released.

Everyone has the ability to let go although some resist. So, we come back to who owns you?

You DO have a choice.


The ego is at the core of all the lack of success and suffering we experience.

I’m more than happy to share phenomenally effective tools I’ve learned and created to unravel patterns and help you release their incessant drone of control, disapproval and insecurity so you experience true freedom and make your dreams come true.

Those dreams can be anything from financial success to living a better life.

What would feel better? Feeling anxiety or having peace? Wanting success or having success?

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com.



I received this email from Kathryn Brown, CEO of Adventure Más, describing results from a recent VIP Letting Go Session. (She creates zip lines and more. How cool is that!)  Here’s a practical demonstration of what letting go can do about relationships and money:

Toward the end of my second time participating in Virginia’s program, I decided to try one of her sessions designed to help clear the ego of its default “methods of operation.” At first I resisted. I didn’t want to add anything more to my plate, even knowing that it would more than likely exponentially assist me in clearing old programs that were blocking my progress. I thought, “I can do this later.” It was really no surprise, given the success I had with her program, when I witnessed the synchronicity of events on the day I agreed to do the session.

I realized when I arrived at Virginia’s that I had forgotten my card I had written my issues on for our session. No problem—Virginia picked up on the issues I had forgotten.

It was a great session, and Virginia was very gracious with her time. It was sometime after I got home that I found the card I wrote my issues on and noticed my husband’s handwriting on the back of it. Although I hadn’t gone into any details about what I was going to talk about, he had picked up on many of the issues Virginia and I had discussed and very sensitively and lovingly addressed them bringing me to tears. The issues were about control and security although we had what I considered to be a good relationship.

One of the great blessings was realizing on a much deeper level that everything we think and feel about someone, they know, whether spoken or not.

Our judgments have a big impact on our lives and can block our progress. I began to see how my judgments driven by ego, no matter how quickly I thought I let them go, were really hanging around. My need for control and security was larger than I had imagined.


Additionally, I had a business contract that was ready to renew. Not only did it renew but I was offered more money than before!

What I walked away with were:

  • Skills I can use in my everyday life when I catch myself in my own ego traps.
  • I feel much more at peace in situations.
  • I am very much at ease with who I am.
  • I’m comfortable with my need for control and security at times—I just love them unconditionally and release them unconditionally.
  • I have learned to let go of many things I had so tightly hung onto out of an unconscious fear.
  • The world keeps spinning but I don’t have to.

I would recommend this session to anyone whether you think you are “ready or not”!

Kathryn Brown
President & CEO of Adventure Más

If you’d like to learn more about letting go so you can master your feelings and make room to have what you really, really want, please contact me at virginia@soulgoals.com

With gratitude,
Virginia


If you’d like to find out
more about how you can
be free of what’s 
holding you back so
you can live a more
wonderful life,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

 


I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
living a life they love.

Advertisements

Quotes by Deepak Chopra: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

September 24, 2018

Deepak Chopra Ready to Enter- 2012 February 21 001

Deepak Chopra standing next to me as he prepared to enter the stage in 2012.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success – A Practical Guide to the Fulfillment of Your Dreams by Deepak Chopra is a transformational work. “Desperate striving isn’t necessary or even desirable. In the natural world, creation comes forth with ease. A seed doesn’t struggle to become a tree―it simply unfolds in grace.”

May you enjoy manifesting your heart’s desires, be they business or personal, with ease and grace.

“The Ego, however, is not who you really are. The ego is your self-image; it is your social mask; it is the role you are playing. Your social mask thrives on approval. It wants control, and it is sustained by power, because it lives in fear.”

“At the moment you consciously make a choice, pay attention to your body and ask your body, “If I make this choice, what happens?” If your body sends a message of comfort, that’s the right choice. If your body sends a message of discomfort, then it’s not the appropriate choice.”

“Attachment to money will always create insecurity no matter how much money you have in the bank.”

“Consciously put your attention in the heart and ask your heart what to do.”

“When you struggle against this moment, you’re actually struggling against the entire universe.”

“Attention energizes, and intention transforms. Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will wither, disintegrate, and disappear.”

“Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness and the progressive realization of worthy goals.”

“Least effort is expended when our actions are motivated by love, because nature is held together by the energy of love.”

“What does responsibility mean? Responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for your situation, including yourself. Having accepted this circumstance, this event, this problem, responsibility then means the ability to have a creative response to the situation as it is now. All problems contain the seeds of opportunity, and this awareness allows you to take the moment and transform it to a better situation or thing.”

“When you seek power and control over other people, you waste energy. When you seek money or power for the sake of the ego, you spend energy chasing the illusion of happiness instead of enjoying happiness in the moment. When you seek money for personal gain only, you cut off the flow of energy to yourself, and interfere with the expression of nature’s intelligence. But when your actions are motivated by love, there is no waste of energy. When your actions are motivated by love, your energy multiplies and accumulates — and the surplus energy you gather and enjoy can be channeled to create anything that you want, including unlimited wealth.”

“But when our internal reference point is our spirit, our actions are motivated by love, and there is no waste of energy. Our energy multiplies, and the surplus energy we gather can be channeled to create anything we want, including unlimited wealth. When we harness the power of harmony and love, we use our energy creatively for the experience of affluence and evolution.”

“By looking at the behavior of the cells in our own body, we can observe the most extraordinary and efficient expression of The Seven Spiritual Laws. This is the genius of nature’s intelligence. These are the thoughts of God – the rest are details.”

“We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment, but it is transient. It is a little parenthesis in eternity. If we share with caring, lightheartedness and love, we will create abundance and joy for each other. And then this moment will have been worthwhile.”

 

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or
business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or
could use new tools or support.

I help them be richly compensated doing what
they love by discovering their Soul’s goals. 

You Don’t Have to Push Yourself Harder

February 12, 2018
do it because you love it

What I’m about to tell you is opposite to what most of us learned is the way to achieve success.

Forget about:

  • No pain, no gain.
  • You have to work hard for what you want.
  • Put your nose to the grindstone.
  • Success requires sacrifice, suffering and struggle.

Beliefs like these often don’t create sustainable results nor do they lead to a happy life. Furthermore, trying hard is exhausting.

When we align our positive energy first and then take inspired action with grace and ease, we can create better outcomes while feeling good, too. 


A client, whose career is in the fitness industry, shared how his life is working better.

“I let go of pushing harder. I had the kind of personality to be hard on myself, more disciplined. It left me feeling out of control, especially about things I can’t do anything about.

“I had mind-numbing, self-critiquing all the time. I was looking for approval. 

“Now I see how when I’m softer and centered, I’m in control. It’s easier to be in my own skin. People are more at ease around me because I’m more at ease with myself.

“I make choices moment-to-moment instead of worrying about the future and what others think.

“I catch myself a lot quicker instead of having long periods of anxiety. I chart my course by mentally creating my ideal scenario and letting go of the pushing.

“Week by week, this new way of living life is sinking in as I allow myself to go from efforting to grace and ease. 

“I’ve reclaimed my natural power and feel myself evolving to my true potential as I achieve my goals.”

There was more joy, confidence and lightness in his voice as well.


You can tap into a zone where you won’t need to push yourself. By getting out of your own way, you can get more done with better results and even go beyond limits.

It starts by shifting from trying to relaxing into a flow of doing what you love.

Olympic athletes center and focus themselves before taking action. The winners go beyond worry and ride the wave of their event – even when changing winds seem to be against them. They’re at the right place at the right time to avoid the hazards.

You can, too.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

The BEST New Year’s Resolution

January 1, 2018

happy new year 2018

When I was a little girl, I asked my mother what should I be. I wanted her answer to be about my future profession, like a butcher, a baker or candlestick maker.

She always replied that she wanted me to be happy, which seemed at the time a lame response.

The older I get and the more I know about life, though, I realize what a wise answer it was.

Why being happy matters

As like attracts like, the more we’re happy, the more happy experiences we’ll attract.

Feeling good allows us not only to achieve our goals but continue to manifest more.

We can be rich, powerful, famous and living the dream, but if we’re not happy, well, life isn’t much fun. Living in stress, worry, fear, sadness or struggle can destroy our physical, financial, mental and emotional health and well-being.

Happiness doesn’t come because we have everything we want; we won’t enjoy them and may find that they slip away if we don’t feel good.

Stress, anxiety and worry are only habits that don’t serve you or anyone else. 

Feeling afraid because of lack of money, love or health won’t change when you have everything money can and can’t buy. If these ways of thinking are habitual, you’d find something to get you bent out of shape.

Ever notice people (maybe you) who always have a reason to complain or feel bad? Even when things are great, they find something that’s not good enough.

Be happy. Find a silver lining no matter what.

You might be thinking that I don’t understand. You’ve got a lot of problems. You’ve been done wrong. You’ve experienced loss, and you’re afraid the proverbial other shoe might fall. You’ve been living in pain. You’ve had the worse things happen to you.

I really do get it because when everything in my life was falling apart, I knew I’d lose it all if I stepped onto the slippery slope of fear. My negativity would have made things go from bad to worse.

So I made a decision to feel good. To feel good in spite of it all.

Step at a time, sometimes baby steps, my life got better and better and better.

 


 

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to resolve to feel good. With this decision all things or something better are possible.

It really is a choice.

You have complete control over your perspective, regardless of the situation. Your interpretation of events, your life, your success or manifesting your dreams is your key to the door of happiness, misery or getting what you most want.

Your energy will draw to you more of how you feel.

How in the world can you feel good in spite of the odds? Be grateful.


 

A client gifted me a handmade journal with an embroidered peacock on the cover that she bought in one of my favorite museums. It’s so beautiful that I decided I only wanted beautiful words in it. Another client on her team suggested a journaling exercise that makes her feel good.

Write what’s working in your life.

Soon after, on a day when everything was uncharacteristically out-of-synch, I couldn’t leave town to go to a party for me!  Instead of having a hissy fit, I grabbed my new journal and wrote on the entire first page the many things that are going well.

Focusing on gratitude shifted my energy, allowed me to let go of the stress and be in present time. Of course, the change in plans turned out to be way better.

HAPPY New Year to you.

Hint: the clue is in the greeting. The first word is HAPPY.

The BEST New Year’s resolution is to feel good and be happy.

You can use feeling good as your inner GPS to know if you’re on the right track or not. It may be that the only thing needed for you to be happy is an attitude adjustment. Also, how you feel can be an indicator that you’re on the right path or heading in a direction that no longer serves you or maybe never did.

If you decide a change is needed, feel good about where you are, even if you don’t like it. Then line up your energy by feeling good about your new direction and take actions for something better.

Happy New Year! It’s your choice to parrot the words or make them come true for you!

May you enjoy your happiest year ever!

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age,
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

TIP: What to Do When You DON’T Know What to DO

April 7, 2016

I felt like I backed myself into a corner.

I was running out of time to complete writing projects – and my deadline was already extended.

My cat kept me up half the night because she was sick.

I woke up with a debilitating headache because when I eventually fell asleep, my head was in an awkward position.

I felt miserable.

Not able to focus on my business for a week because of my project.

Exhausted.

Then, it occurred to me that I’m creating this.

I forgot to consciously create my day through intention.

Instead, I focused on how I was going to get everything done.

I wondered about what I was going to do.

How I didn’t feel well.

And my approach wasn’t working. I felt stuck.

Then, I remembered.

I forgot to choose to be in Divine Flow.

When I did, I stopped pushing.

Took a nap.

Ideas came how I could resolve obstacles to complete my projects.

I started to feel better – physically and emotionally.

My feline friend felt better, too.

To explain what I mean by divine flow, here’s an excerpt from my program Resolved for Results: A Step-by-Step Guide to Do What You Love… even if you failed before, lost hope, are afraid, stressed or confused.

“If you’re struggling or suffering, change your perspective. The struggle may come because you’re trying to control or swim upstream against the current.

“If the going gets tough, maybe you’re going in the wrong direction.

“Life is designed to be in divine flow. If you’re struggling or suffering, you’re going against the flow. Maybe you think you should be acting and thinking a certain way, but that’s actually what’s holding you back and putting you in a flow that’s other than divine. If you are, choose to be in divine flow; continue to choose this.

“Let go of how you think things should be so your focus can shift to the present moment and what is. Allow new perspectives and options to emerge.”

Today’s TIP is simple – for you to implement and for me to share.

Choose to be in divine flow.

It seems to defy logic that this can make it difference.

A few seconds of setting this intention, choosing a belief, sets your day in a positive direction.

You can do this at any time of the day, especially if things start getting wonky.

Observe how your life changes for the better.

You may notice how things change a lot or step-by-step.

Either way, instead of “if it’s not one thing, it’s another,” you shift your trajectory so the track you’re on is “things get better and better.”

Live the life you’re meant to enjoy.

If you have questions or comments, just ask.