Posts Tagged ‘Procrastination’

Always Late & Putting Herself Down

January 29, 2018

late

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.” from Alice in Wonderland

A friend told me, “I have a character defect, and I really have to change it this year.”

She had a hard time being on time. 

She said, “If I have A, B and C to do, I try to squeeze it all in, even though I only have enough time to do A. Then I become late. It’s disrespectful to people, and I just have to stop it. This year, it’s got to stop!

“I was born three weeks late, and my mother just accepted my showing up late. It’s no longer working for me, though.”

Her self-deprecating tone became more disapproving the longer she talked. To listen to her, one might think she was headed straight to the bowels of the earth for her misdeeds.

To put it in perspective, though, it was tardiness and not the end of the world.
 


I told her. “You had an issue. You don’t have to keep bringing up examples of what you did wrong in the past and how bad you think are while dragging all of that into the present. You made a new decision to be on time. So be it.”

Her reply was, “It’s really so simple, isn’t it? I don’t have to beat myself up or agonize about my habits. Just make a decision to change, and then follow through.”


Have you ever felt miserable and chastised yourself about how you didn’t do as well as you thought you should? 

It reminds me of when I was in third grade and took a music test. I was sure I failed. The test scores wouldn’t come back for a week, and I suffered the entire seven days. Why couldn’t I have done better?

I got the highest grade in the class.

That was my first introduction to an idea, “Don’t worry until you have something to worry about.”

It took me years to take it to another level: don’t bother worrying at all. It doesn’t help. Worry and making ourselves wrong actually make our situations worse.

Ready to be ahead of your time?

  • Let go of your story that you continue to tell about time.
  • Stop using your stories as a way of getting attention.
  • If you messed up, you messed up. Learn from it and move on… without the story.
  • Release the need to justify your actions or get validation from others.
  • Accept yourself more without adding judgment, blame and shame.
  • Shift your focus away from your past and refocus on now and where you’re going.

Step at a time, you’ll be in front of time instead of behind it.

P.S. Know someone who might enjoy this post? Please share.

I work with people, at any age, who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how, feel stuck or would benefit from new tools or support. I help them be richly compensated doing what they love by aligning with their Soul’s goals. 

 

Copyright © 2018 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.
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Has This Kept You Up at Night?

May 9, 2017

Awake at night

Have any of these kept you up at night?

Procrastination. Fear of making a (wrong) decision or making a mistake. Trying to figure out what you’re going to do. Indecisive. Avoid people or dealing with things. Have trouble marketing yourself or asking for the sale. Averse to taking risks. Don’t stand up for yourself. Afraid to speak up. Let others control you. Need to fit in. Turn into a chameleon to blend in with others. Let people run over you. Have a hard time being yourself (whoever that is). Wonder what people will say or think. Say yes when you want to say no.

What bogeyman lies beneath this thinking? Personal honesty reveals a deeper insight beyond blaming circumstances.

During multiple mastermind group meetings, I noticed a theme that held people back until they got wise to a game the ego was playing.

It reminds me of a scene from the 1986 comedy The Money Pit with Tom Hanks (who played Walter) and Shelly Long.

Rock star, 12-year-old Benny lounged in his mansion smoking a cigarette while chics waited for him in the Jacuzzi. His help feared him, and his mother wore a maid’s uniform while waiting on him hand and foot.

His temper tantrum, when he refused to loan Walter money, revealed a spoiled, insecure, little boy.

Walter: There is a house I want to buy.

Benny: Let’s cut to the chase, okay? What do you want?

Walter: I want you to loan me $200,000 in cash.

Benny: No.

Walter[raising his voice] Benny.

Benny: You shout at me?

Walter: I shout at you! I need that money, and you are going to loan it to me.

Benny: No, I won’t!

Walter: Yes, you will!

Benny: No, no, no!

Walter: Yes, you will! I saved you ten times that in taxes last year.

Benny: So what?

Walter: Benny, if you don’t loan me that money. I’ll…

Benny: You’ll what? Huh? You’ll what?

Walter: I’ll…not like you anymore! [Long pause and subdued.]

Benny: …All right.

Walter: Thanks.

Here’s the funny clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LY5dV3xghY

A leading cause of fear is wanting approval, so people limit themselves by worrying about what others will think.

A client procrastinated making a big decision. During a session, she realized she was afraid of her family’s disapproval if she didn’t get it right… again.

When the light turned on for her, she was able to research her options. She got clarity, aligned her energy with her decision by feeling good about her choice, and then took action.

Even if she made another unwanted mistake, she knew she could choose again.

She chose wisely. Since then, her business is at the highest it’s been in years.

Several clients realized that they were so intent on being nice to others that they weren’t nice to themselves.

Resolved for Results Mastermind Principle #3 provided guidance:

“I trust my Self and listen to the voice within.”

This served as a valuable GPS instead of the need to people please.

Nobody can please everybody.

There will always be those who won’t like you or what you do. How much simpler life is to accept that instead of resisting it.

Don’t let fear of disapproval hold you down. Keep moving forward anyway with good intentions.

You have no control over what others think, but you can tune in to your Self and take charge of what you think about you.

Listening to your Self is part of your innate intelligence, so you can do this.

How? Choose to redirect your focus to hear You. With practice, your ability improves.

A key is to love and accept yourself just the way you are.

You’ll sleep better at night, too.

With gratitude,
Virginia

P.S. Know someone who might be uplifted by reading this? Please forward.

Copyright © 2017 Resolved for Results, All rights reserved.

I work with people who choose to share their gifts or business in a BIGGER way but don’t know how or feel stuck.
I help them ignite their Soul’s goals and be richly compensated doing what they love.