Posts Tagged ‘discouraged’

Discouraged about Business or Life?

September 13, 2021

A client came to see me who felt the proverbial wind was out of her sails. During her session, I wrote beliefs she sadly communicated:

  • Nobody is attracted to me because I’m fat.
  • People will have to know me before they like me, but I’m not going to have people attracted to me because of my appearance.
  • I often feel invisible – people may not remember me by name. 
At first, she resisted my writing her beliefs. Later, when she looked at them objectively, she knew they didn’t make sense.
 
Her beliefs implied she valued the shallow opinions of strangers more than she valued her own.
 
She realized she acted aloof, before others could be aloof to her, as a protective, preemptive strike. Even if she gave them a chance to act differently, they felt her fear and behaved in a way that justified her belief. Either way, her self-fulfilling prophecy echoed her unconscious whisperings.
 
She plugged her energy circuits into what strangers might think about her.
 
I heard writing is God’s way of showing us our sloppy thinking. Our thoughts and feelings become more translucent when we read them later.

Writing is a tool to break our hypnotic spell of what’s not real and wake up.
 
 
Fearing others gives away our power.
 
I knew a man who was emotionally volatile and acted like a human powder keg ready to go off at any time. Once he called me on a Saturday at midnight and demanded I never talk to his wife again. She called me several days earlier to ask me a benign question about a discussion group of mine they planned to attend.

He threatened me by saying he knew where I lived, and their house was a two-minute car ride from mine.
 
At first, I backed off afraid he would explode and harm me.

Then, I realized that by avoiding him through fear, I gave him my power. I stopped my dealings with him because I chose not to associate with him. Therefore, instead of avoiding him because of fear, I kept my power.
 
The same is true in the business world. Fear of rejection may be present when making a sale or communicating an idea to others. What if they don’t like our product or idea?
 
What if they do?
 
 
Illusions can create pain.
 
The moment we spotlight our attention on our illusory perspective, the hypnotic effect is broken. We become present.
 
“But you don’t understand. Nobody loves me. Look what happened to me. My mother abandoned me as a child, and I spent my life feeling empty.  My husband divorced me. I have no control of my life, and I’m a victim of circumstances.”
 
All that really happened was that her mother left, and her husband divorced her.

How she chose to interpret those experiences, the spin she put on the story, and where she gave up her power was her choice.
 
Dave Thomas of Wendy’s fame was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption, lived in squalor as a child, and was on his own before age 15. By not plugging his energy into a story of a woeful childhood, he left a legacy as both an entrepreneur with a restaurant empire and a world-class champion for adopting children with the Dave Thomas Foundation.
 
Where do you plug your energy circuits?
 
Continuing to look at life in a non-supportive way is addictive. 

To see yourself as “less than” is a habit that you have the ability to shift.

You CAN change your perspective.

How? Choose to.

You are so powerful that you can choose to see you and your life in an even more empowering way… and watch as you renew yourself to reflect your new mindset.
 
Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to identify what depletes your energy.
  • What do you plug your energy into outside of yourself? Is it a person, thing, group, belief, past experience or idea?
  • When you do this, what or who controls you?
  • Are you blindly believing what others tell you is true?
  • How does this relate to your energy depletion of discouragement, anger or other emotion?
  • If not this, what does?
  • What’s another way you can look at this?
  • What can you do to get on a new track? Go a step at a time to do this.   

Success Thought:

Recognition of your addictions requires inner work. It requires that you look clearly at the places where you lose power in your life, where you are controlled by external circumstances. It requires going through your defenses… Once an addiction has been acknowledged, it cannot be ignored, and it cannot be released without changing your life, without changing your self-image, without changing your entire perceptual and conceptual framework. We do not want to do that because it is our nature to resist change. Therefore, we resist acknowledging our addictions.
 
GARY ZUKAV, The Seat of the Soul

With a zest for Life,
 
Virginia

Tired of feeling the way you do?
Contact me for a free consultation at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people who choose to share
their gifts or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck or could 
use new tools or support.

I help them ignite their Soul’s goals
and be richly compensated doing what
they love.

Original Soulgoal Missive Email was sent in 2003

Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

5 Steps to Make Change Easier

April 5, 2021

In this part of my dream, I was in a room filled with well-worn, cushioned, reclining chairs. I thought there was an available seat near a window that overlooked trees, but it was taken. In fact, every seat I could see was taken except for a too-small-for-me wooden chair at my side. I thought there might be a chair available on the other side of the smallish room. But if I left the wooden chair, someone else might take it, and I could be left with nothing. Then I woke up.

It’s a risk to let go of what’s available, even if it isn’t a fit, uncomfortable and too small. In my dream, there wasn’t a reason why I had to stay in that room, even if there wasn’t a place to sit on the other side.

I awoke knowing to let go of people, attitudes and situations that no longer fit the person I’ve become.

We often settle for things that don’t work when we feel that the familiar is safe and secure – or at least known. This may lead us to believe the unknown is risky.

However, nothing stays the same forever. Economies go up and down. People and work change. A seemingly stable Japan reeled with a massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear explosions.

Pandemics, as rare as they are, shatter old routines so we learn and grow to meet the challenges… or not.

It reminds me of a woman who didn’t want to move because she enjoyed the companionship of a friend who lived nearby. Soon after, that friend sold her house and moved out of town.

Some are afraid of leaving a job that’s on a downward spiral. Others cling to non-supportive relationships. Some hold onto old business models.  

Is something really better than nothing? And who says that replacing something will leave you with nothing? Perhaps a newly created space of seeming nothing will lead to something even better.

While writing, I saw a client’s email that I saved three years ago:

I recently met a wonderful woman who was reduced to tears by “friends” she admired but had rejected her. My advice? Don’t waste your time. Look for WONDERFUL people who make you feel good. And focus on your wonderful self who is “crying” to be born and nurtured.

Spring and Easter are great times to resurrect anew, something even better.

Change is always for good. Something positive always emerges, regardless of appearances. But you don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to make a change.

What Have You Outgrown?

Are you discouraged, stuck or frustrated about something that hasn’t been working? Are you holding on to a belief about it? This may be the reason your life or business isn’t what you’d like it to be.

Perhaps you only need a change in attitude or perspective. Another viewpoint may reveal the solution.

By the way, don’t think you’ve got to see the big picture and know all the pieces before taking action. You can start where you are and with what you know right now.


TIP: You’re always given your next step – listen within for what it is. You can prevent overwhelm by redirecting your focus on the present and doing one thing at a time.


You can make change easy on yourself by using these five steps:

  1. Be willing to consider a change. Willingness opens you to possibilities even if you’re not ready to commit to a change. 
  2. Take consistent action in your new direction. If you were to make a change, what action would you take? Do it. Then tune in to the next step, and do that. 
  3. Get support from a friend or a coach. Discussing possibilities and being heard can be powerful steps to clarity, action and change.
  4. Choose that the change and lessons learned be gentle. If you believe change is hard, it is. There are people who remain positive even in the face of disaster. Set an intention to make changes with grace and ease.
  5. Breathe your way through it. Breathing deeply in a relaxed way puts you in divine flow instead of the flow of fear.

Give yourself a gift of a new beginning. You have the power within to create changes without drama, with grace and ease.

Reposted from Soulgoals’ Blog March 15, 2011

If you’d like help in 
discovering why some aspect of
your life or business isn’t working,
what to do about it, and change it 
for the better,

contact me
for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.


Copyright © 2021 Soulgoals, All rights reserved.

Procrastinating? Here’s How to Get Motivated.

February 1, 2021

What would you like your year to bring? More money and time? Smoother family life? Fun and friends? Relaxation and vacations? Better health? Big dreams coming true?

Without knowing “your why,” the reason your goal is important to you, your motivation can become like a wind-up toy that ran out of its wind-up. Soon after, you return to the same ole, same ole way you’ve always done things. Add to this frustration and disappointment.

More money is appealing. But money for money’s sake may not provide enough incentive to create more cha-ching in your life.

In the movie Joy, Jennifer Lawrence’s character was highly motivated not to quit. Against all odds, she dug deep and found reasons to keep going. Because she knew her “why,” she found a way out of overwhelming failure to experience success.

Interestingly, sometimes a reason to accomplish goals is a gut-level determination to take care of yourself or stop playing small. The line is drawn in the sand. You’re no longer going to tolerate what’s not working. You’re inspired.

Following are excerpts from my Soulgoals program to help you stay motivated and get in touch with your why – the soul of your goal:



Have you ever desired something and, when you got it, realized it wasn’t what you really wanted? You asked for a specific outcome but didn’t clarify the soul of your goal, its essence.

Well, that explains the divorce rate.

Have you ever desired something, got something else instead, and then realized it was better than what you asked for? You tapped into the soul of your goal.

Sally’s ideal scenario included very specific details, including marrying a 6’ 2” red-haired man who owned a 10,000 acre ranch.

I asked if she would like to have several employees around all day because, with a spread that size, she could attract a working ranch.

That was absolutely not her intention. She wanted the acreage for privacy. She could have received what she asked for and not been happy… along with a man who fit her description but didn’t share her values. She didn’t mention any.

When I looked for a house, the soul of my goal included a low maintenance, wooded area offering privacy but not seclusion.

I bought a home at the end of a cul-de-sac in a country subdivision with a xeriscape lawn. It’s surrounded by trees, a greenbelt in the back, and a fenced-in exotic wildlife ranch next to a neighboring, tree-filled lot.

Have you pursued a goal, got discouraged or sidetracked, then lost energy to keep going? If you don’t have a compelling reason, “your why” that underlies your goal, it’s easy to get off-track, lose motivation and quit.



TIP: How to Get Motivated

Be still and go within. Ask your soul why your goal is important to you. Intend to get an answer. Now write about it so that you tap into your gut-level reason of why you choose this. Write so authentically that it can bring tears to your eyes.

Your brain may not be able to fathom how your goals can occur. However, if your intention is in alignment with the soul of your goal, miracles happen.

Be open to receive.


Ready to increase your motivation?

If so, contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break-Free Session at
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by aligning
with their Soul’s goals.

Reposted from January 11, 2016 Soulgoals’ Blog


Your Good is on Its Way

April 18, 2019

 

Before I wrote my Soulgoals’ blog, I published a weekly article called Soulgoal Missives. Recently, I came across this folder of these posts and thought I’d share with you a missive I wrote in 2002 titled “Your Good is on Its Way.” May your good grow in whatever ways are meaningful to you!

Sometimes the good we desire in life seems to come to people around us first. If we can praise and give thanks for another’s blessings, rather than be envious and jealous and critical, then we can be assured that those same blessings (or even greater ones) will come to us.
Catherine Ponder,
Open Your Mind to Prosperity

 

I had wonderful, good news. Something very special happened. Metaphorically, for me it was as if I’d won the lottery jackpot.

When I shared it with a couple of friends, I knew they were happy for me. But at the same time, there was disappointment and a tinge of sadness that they hadn’t hit the “lottery,” too.

Continuing with my lottery metaphor, they were buying tickets regularly and wanted to win for a long time. I imagined winning but didn’t play much. However, someone offered me a winning ticket, and now I’m enjoying the benefits.

I thought that if they understood a nuance of life, then they’d be ecstatic for me.

Nothing comes to us, nothing enters our life, unless some part of us is in alignment with it.

When others have goodness come into their lives, and then they’re around me, that means my good is on its way… IF I ACCEPT IT. If I get bummed out because someone else was successful at something and I wasn’t, then I send my good away.

When something good happens to someone around me, even if it’s180 degrees opposite of where I am, even if I’m in the pit of despair about this very topic, someone’s success inspires me with a reason to rejoice as it’s a sign, a messenger, that my own good is on its way. 

With this perspective, jealousy, envy, sadness, disappointment and discouragement, because of another’s success, go flying out the window. These emotions send our good away.

Knowing how this works, chasing our good away suggests we’re either experiencing temporary insanity or invested in self-sabotage.

How does feeling good about someone else’s good affect us? Let’s look at it from a point of view that all life is energy, and that energy is affected by our emotional state.

Imagine someone is flat broke and doesn’t know where to get rent money. Being in the dumps makes it difficult to earn any money or come up with ideas to make some.

Then information comes that a large, unexpected check is in the mail. Instant relief – the pressure is off. Happiness. Gratitude. Enthusiasm. Feelings shift to being upbeat and creative – ideas flow and new thoughts are magnetized toward this dynamic state. Élan vital, a vital force or impulse of life, is tapped. Nothing is the same after that.

The world of imagination is made real.

When we tap the élan vital, we shift our ability to receive the abundance that life offers. Life is waiting to bring us blessings; to receive them we must be in a state of willingness, allowing this grace to enter.

After our conversation about my “winning the lottery,” one of my friends opened up to the possibility of winning, too. The next day she e-mailed me about two lottery tickets someone gave her. She didn’t hit the jackpot, but she is grateful for winning tickets.

Your good is close; be willing to let it in. This is grace; invite and allow it to work through you and touch your life. The more you allow this heightened state of accepting life’s bounty as part of who you are, the more magical and extraordinary your life becomes.

Your challenge, if you choose to accept it, is to celebrate other people’s successes.

If someone shares a success with you, find a place inside of yourself that’s genuinely thrilled and happy for him or her – as if it happened to you. Don’t judge that it’s not good enough or too good! Practice gratitude that someone with this experience is either around you or that you learned about it. Then assume your good is near and will appear in its own way, when the time is just right.

Truly, your good is not just on its way, it’s here now. Open your eyes to see it.

 

Ready for more good in your life?
Contact me for a complimentary
Do What You Love Break Free Session.

Email me at:
virginia@soulgoals.com

I work with people
who choose to share their gifts
or business in a BIGGER way
but don’t know how, feel stuck
or would benefit from new tools
or support.

I help them be richly compensated
doing what they love by discovering
their Soul’s goals.

READY FOR A CHANGE? 5 STEPS TO MAKE IT EASY

March 15, 2011

In this part of my dream, I was in a room filled with well-worn, cushioned, reclining chairs. I thought there was an available seat near a window that overlooked trees, but it was taken. In fact, every seat I could see was taken except for a too-small-for-me wooden chair at my side. I thought there might be a chair available on the other side of the smallish room. But if I left the wooden chair, someone else might take it, and I could be left with nothing. Then I woke up.

It’s a risk to let go of what’s available, even if it isn’t a fit, uncomfortable and too small. In my dream, there wasn’t a reason why I had to stay in that room, even if there wasn’t a place to sit on the other side.

I awoke knowing to let go of people, attitudes and situations that no longer fit the person I’ve become.

We often settle for things that don’t work when we feel that the familiar is safe and secure – or at least known. This may lead us to believe the unknown is risky.

However, nothing stays the same forever. Economies go up and down. People and work change. A seemingly stable Japan reels with a massive earthquake, tsunami and nuclear explosions.

It reminds me of a woman who didn’t want to move because she enjoyed the companionship of a friend who lived nearby. Soon after, that friend sold her house and moved out of town.

Some are afraid of leaving a job that’s on a downward spiral. Others cling to non-supportive relationships. Some hold onto old business models.  Is something really better than nothing? And who says that replacing something will leave you with nothing?

While writing, I saw a client’s email that I saved three years ago:

I recently met a wonderful woman who was reduced to tears by “friends” she admired but had rejected her. My advice? Don’t waste your time. Look for WONDERFUL people who make you feel good. And focus on your wonderful self who is “crying” to be born and nurtured.

Change is always for good. Something positive always emerges, regardless of appearances. But, you don’t have to wait for a catastrophe to make a change.

What Have You Outgrown?

Are you discouraged, stuck or frustrated about something that hasn’t been working? Are you holding on to a belief about it? This may be the reason your life or business isn’t what you’d like it to be.

Perhaps you only need a change in attitude or perspective. Another viewpoint may reveal the solution.

By the way, don’t think you’ve got to see the big picture and know all the pieces before taking action. You can start where you are and with what you know right now.

TIP: You’re always given your next step – listen within for what it is. You can prevent overwhelm by redirecting your focus on the present and doing one thing at a time.

You can make change easy on yourself by using these five steps:

  1. Be willing to consider a change. Willingness opens you to possibilities even if you’re not ready to commit to a change. 
  2. Take consistent action in your new direction. If you were to make a change, what action would you take? Do it. Then tune in to the next step and do that. 
  3. Get support from a friend or team or coach. Discussing possibilities and being heard can be powerful steps to clarity, action and change.
  4. Choose that the change and lessons learned be gentle. If you believe change is hard, it is. There are people who remain positive even in the face of disaster. Set an intention to make changes with ease and grace. 
  5. Breathe your way through it. Breathing deeply in a relaxed way puts you in divine flow instead of the flow of fear.

Give yourself a gift of a new beginning. You have the power within to create changes without drama, with ease and grace.